1. Don’t kill Hitler
2. Don’t kill Mark
3. Kill Mark
4. Fuck you Derek
5. Derek doesn’t exist
6. Don’t go back in time and stop Derek’s parents from meeting each other
7. Don’t go back in time and have sex with Derek’s mom so it turns out you’re his actual dad
8. Nobody tell Derek who his real father is
9. Don’t go back in time just to draw a dick on Mark’s face as a baby; that’s messed up and you really freaked out his parents
10. Who’s Hitler?
11. Everybody stop killing Mark
12. We can’t all go back in time and invent the skateboard, you have to invent something else
13. Yes we can, Mark
14. DON’T DO THAT
15. Don’t do what, Trevor
16. YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT THING THAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN
THAT WAS YOU GUYS
17. Everybody meet up at Trevor’s thirteenth birthday party
18. No going back in time and warning Trevor not to have a thirteenth birthday party
19. Stop going back in time and changing the alphabet so that “D-I-C-K” spells “Mark”
20. Stop going back in time and renaming Winston Churchill “MARK SUCKS”
21. Hey Derek I just went to the future and killed you
22. Fuck you no you didn’t
23. Don’t talk that way to your father, Derek
24. Shut up you’re not my dad
25. For someone who’s not your dad I sure did have sex with your mom then
26. Fuck off
27. Did I do it tomorrow or did I do it in twenty years?
28. Fuck off Mark I’m serious don’t fuck around I’ll just reboot into the past so I never live when you kill me
29. If you’d done that I wouldn’t have been able to kill you
30. Fine I’ll go back in time and find the secret to respawning so you only think you killed me and then I’ll go even further in time and I’ll kill you
31. lol respawning this isn’t a video game Derek
32. Ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｎｏ Ｄｅｒｅｋ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｏｎｌｙ Ｑａｌｔｈ
33. The fuck is Qalth, Qalth’s not in this club
34. Ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｎｏ ｃｌｕｂ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｏｎｌｙ Ｑａｌｔｈ
35. Stop dicking around Derek, be serious
36. Derek I didn’t really kill you in the future
37. Okay I did but I’ll go undo it right now
38. Ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｎｏ ｆｕｔｕｒｅ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｏｎｌｙ Ｑａｌｔｈ
