Modern Classics Without The Modernism -The Toast

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Screen Shot 2014-07-22 at 10.24.05 AM“Well, here we are, at the lighthouse.” It had been a wonderful day, walking to the lighthouse.

– “To The Lighthouse,” Virginia Woolf


“Don’t feel bad,” his father said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Things fall apart sometimes. We’ll just buy a new one.” They did, and then everything was fine.

– “Things Fall Apart,” Chinua Achebe


“Oh, let’s go back to Brideshead,” Sebastian said.

“All right,” replied Charles. “It will be nice to visit Brideshead again.”

– “Brideshead Revisited,” Evelyn Waugh


“You don’t talk much, do you?” the captain asked.

“Mmf,” the American said without looking up.

“Sort of a quiet American type,” the captain said.

“Mmf,” the American said.

“Well, I think we’re going to be good friends, just the same, despite our differences,” the captain said. And they were.

– “The Quiet American,” Graham Greene


“Oh, I didn’t think trees grew here,” he said.

“Yes,” she said, “quite a lot of them actually. Look, there’s several just down the street.” And so there were.

“Huh,” he said, “I guess trees really do grow in Brooklyn.”

“It would be odd if they didn’t,” she said.

– “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn,” Betty Smith


“What a lovely house this is,” Lady Kate said. “And what a pleasant atmosphere.”

“Yes, we always have a lovely time in this house,” the hostess agreed. “That’s why we call it the House of Mirth.”

Everyone laughed, because they were having such a very good time.

– “The House of Mirth,” Edith Wharton


“And the rocking horse goes to the little boy sitting determinedly in the corner,” cried the auctioneer.

At last, it was his. He was the Rocking Horse Winner. Also, he had a problem with masturbating.

– “The Rocking Horse Winner,” D.H. Lawrence


“This is your room, here,” Mother said, “and Jacob, this is your room. Do you like it?”

“Oh, very much,” he said, and it was true. A room all for Jacob! He could scarcely believe it.

“You can visit my room anytime you like,” he said generously. “But remember it’s still my room.”

“Of course,” his mother agreed idly. “This is Jacob’s room.” And so it was.

– “Jacob’s Room,” Virginia Woolf


“The ice-man is here,” he said.

“How nice,” Mother said. “Tell him to come round back.”

“I will,” he said, and he did.

“Now we’ll have plenty of ice for the party tonight,” she said. They did, and it was wonderful. Everyone said they’d never had so much ice at one party before.

– “The Iceman Cometh,” Eugene O’Neill 


“You’re sure you like it?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s a very nice room,” she answered.

“You wouldn’t like to switch or anything?”

“No, I’m fine here.”

“You’re not feeling stultified by English cultural repression or anything?”

“No, no, nothing of the kind.”

“All right,” he said, “as long as you like it. It does have a nice view.”

“A very nice view,” she agreed.

“So I suppose everything is all right.”

“Everything is.”

Everything was.

– “A Room With A View,” E.M. Forster


“Gosh, that’s lucky, Jim,” she said. “But then, you’re always lucky.”

“I suppose I am,” Jim said, and laughed. “I suppose you could call me Lucky Jim.”

“That’s taking things a bit too far, Jim,” she said sharply, and he didn’t bring it up again.

– “Lucky Jim,” Kingsley Amis


“What an enormous room,” Jacob thought to himself. “This is much bigger than my room back at home. Ah, but I mustn’t compare. It’s awfully nice to have a room of one’s own, no matter what the size.”

– “The Enormous Room,” ee cummings

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