LITERALLY ALL OF EUROPE CAN ENTIRELY SUCK IT:
For decades, the only evidence of ancient cave art was in Spain and southern France. It led some to believe that the creative explosion that led to the art and science we know today began in Europe.
But the discovery of paintings of a similar age in Indonesia shatters this view, according to Prof Chris Stringer of the Natural History Museum in London.
“It is a really important find; it enables us to get away from this Euro-centric view of a creative explosion that was special to Europe and did not develop in other parts of the world until much later,” he said.
The discovery of 40,000-year-old cave paintings at opposite ends of the globe suggests that the ability to create representational art had its origins further back in time in Africa, before modern humans spread across the rest of the world.
1. I hope this starts an enormous ART FIGHT between international art historians that results in the vandalization and theft of multiple significant Neolithic sites
2. I hope this means Werner Herzog has to make a new version of Cave of Forgotten Dreams
3. SUCK IT EUROPE, YOU THINK YOU’RE SO GREAT BUT YOU DIDN’T EVEN INVENT ART AND YOUR DRYERS ARE LAUGHABLY SMALL, YOU CAN BARELY FIT TWO SHIRTS AND A PILLOWCASE INTO YOUR DRYERS SO YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE AND HAVE THE WORST OF BOTH WORLDS BY USING BOTH A DRYER AND A CLOTHESLINE FOR THE SAME LOAD OF LAUNDRY
4. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, PROBABLY NONE OF THE SCIENTISTS HANGING OUT AT LASCAUX OR WHEREVER SNOOTILY LAUGHING THEIR FRENCH LAUGHS ABOUT INVENTING HAND STENCILS OR WHATEVER
The artworks are in a rural area on the Indonesian Island of Sulawesi.
Until now, paintings this old had been confirmed in caves only in Western Europe.
Oh, so maybe the paintings are like, pretty close in the same age range, maybe it’s not so bad, Western Europe?
“The minimum age for (the outline of the hand) is 39,900 years old, which makes it the oldest hand stencil in the world,” said Dr Aubert.
“Next to it is a pig that has a minimum age of 35,400 years old, and this is one of the oldest figurative depictions in the world, if not the oldest one,” he told BBC News…
Compare the painting above from Bone with the one immediately below, which is from El Castillo cave in northern Spain, and dated to be 37,300 years old by researchers at Bristol University.
OH DIP WESTERN EUROPE, OH DIPSICLES THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE, THAT IS 3000 YEARS OF MORE HAND ART THAT YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE, AND I GUESS I SHOULD SAY WE BECAUSE WHILE I WAS NOT BORN IN WESTERN EUROPE IT PRODUCED MY CULTURAL HERITAGE AND THAT’S WHERE MY PEOPLE ARE FROM, WE CAN ALL SUCK IT BECAUSE WE HAVE SHITTY RECENT BABY DRAWINGS OF WILD BOARS AND WHATNOT AND WE DID NOT INVENT ART, NOT EVEN POINTILLISM I BET
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.