While cleaning up my hard drive recently, I found a folder of papers I wrote in grad school. Some of them aren’t total shit, but the titles are. So I’ve renamed them to reflect my post-academic hopes: that somebody besides me might ever want to read them.
I swear to God, the original titles are real. Feel free to make fun.
Original Title: The Usefulness of Unease in Jacobean Tragedy
New Title: SO, UHH, INCEST. YEP. WELL.
IT SOMETIMES WORKS AS A NARRATIVE DEVICE . NOPE.
Original Title: The Essay is the Genre that Encloses All Others: Shifting & Collapsing Aldous Huxley’s Magnetic Poles
New Title: IMAGONNA CALL A BUNCH OF ESSAYS THAT AREN’T ESSAYS “ESSAYS” #becausephd
Original Title: A New New Critical Approach: The Interinanimation of Emily Dickinson
Original Title: Modernism and the Negotiation of the Influence of the Past
New Title: EZRA POUND & T.S. ELIOT WERE DICKS
Original Title: “Doubt about everything/Published above us in the dark”: The Mutual
Incomprehension of Science and Literature
Original Title: Poetic Excrement: In His Verses, Jonathan Swift Shits
New Title: POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP, POOP: IT’S NEVER NOT FUNNY
Original Title: Percy Shelley’s Poetry of Science & the Possibility of an Even Embrace
Original Title: The Poetics of Inelegance: A Defense of Richard Brautigan and the Vernacular Sublime
New Title: PUMP YA BRAKES & QUIT TALKING SHIT ABOUT RICHARD BRAUTIGAN’S POETRY
Original Title: Entropy: Dispersal as Deterioration as Creation
Original Title: Sprezzatura: Henry James & the Real Imagined & the Imagined Real
New Title: HJ: MAKING FICTION FEEL LIKE NOT-FICTION SINCE 1875
Original Title: Literature as Philosophy as Literature as Psychology as Literature
Original Title: A Neo-Aristotelian and Burkian Analysis of the Futurist Manifesto
Original Title: Emily Dickinson and the Dilemma of Paratexts
Original Title: A Case Against the Dismissal of Quantitative Verse
New Title: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS PAPER IS ABOUT. YOU SHOULD READ IT AND TELL ME.