The “Seduction in art” tab on Wikimedia Commons is full of inaccurately categorized works of art. Here are a few examples:
This is not a woman who is being seduced. This is a woman who is being bothered while she is doing her job.
Here is another example of a woman who is not being seduced. She is pushing an old man away from her, while wearing a nice gown.
Perhaps you have confused “pushing someone away from you” with “getting seduced.”
This poor lady is just trying to walk while a young man…takes her arms? I’m not sure what he’s doing. They both look enormously grave, which is not a sentiment traditionally associated with seduction.
This guy is fleeing for his life.
I feel like Michael Bluth at this point: has anyone here ever actually seen a seduction? A sad young lady who is politely listening to some guy hanging off her balcony while also weaving at a loom is not being seduced. She wants to get back to her loom.
Also running away. A key component of being seduced is staying physically present for the seduction. This does not qualify.
If a woman is sitting as far away from you as she possibly can, not making eye contact with you, completely turned so that her back is to you, clutching a bouquet of flowers and staring longingly at a plate of figs and wine, she wishes to be left alone with food, and you need to respect that.
You look me in the eyes and tell me the expression on that girl’s face is “excitement about the prospect of sex with this guy.” The sheep in the foreground looks more excited than she does. She’s clearly testing the waters to see if she can swim away from this conversation, or failing that, just drown herself.
LEAVE HIM ALONE HE IS WEARING ALL BLACK AND READING A BOOK, THAT IS THE UNIVERSAL SIGNAL FOR “LEAVE ME ALONE,” YOU LOOK LIKE THE TRIPLETS WHO LIKED GASTON IN BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
I’m not an expert on vases, but the look on this eromenos‘ face is less “Hurrah, someone is about to touch my dick” and more “why can’t you just leave me alone with my tambourine.”
In conclusion, if you are in an old painting, just leave people alone with their looms and their tambourines instead of trying to have sex with them. Also, if you work at Wikipedia, consider adopting more stringent metadata practices.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.