Close friendships with just a few people
An avocado sliced in thoughtful silence
No birthday party, just a couple of friends over for an intimate dinner of chickpeas and listening
An INTJ salmon
Not talking about quinoa with someone you don’t know very well
Recharging
It’s not the same thing as shyness
Not talking to someone at a work event while looking at some anchovies
Seaweed, whispering
Jammies
A rich inner life
A handful of Brazil nuts
Time to yourself
Being valued for your quiet strength
Leaving a cocktail party early to eat some bison
Cottage cheese
Soft music
Reading silently in a jar of creatine powder
Compromise
Sweater weather
A stock photo of some headphones
Empathy
When you respect that sometimes I just need to be alone and it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Charol
Albert Einstein was an introvert
Tags: advice, health, introverts, protein
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Mmm, bison…
okay but
MrChouffe left a cocktail party last week to go eat SOMETHING
it was probably bison
IT’S ALL TRUE
Protip: it’s best to kill and butcher them before eating.
I’m a Myers-Briggs vegan. I do a type test on any animal before I eat it, and I only eat other introverts.
I mainly eat the extroverted ones. Keeps the herd quieter.
And they’re much easier to find–they just walk right the fuck up to you.
I only eat quiet vegetables. Squash are too loud.
Reading silently in a jar of creatine powder
can’t decide if cozy or claustrophobic
…can I leave the jar open?
is it curled up size or lounging size (me and/or the jar are not normal sizes here, but WHICH not normal sizes are we?)
could definitely survive tho on my Rich Inner Life and a Handful of Brazil Nuts
I feel like I’m the only person on earth who hasn’t hopped on the INTJ salmon bandwagon. I know, I know, I should be paying more attention to how I shop and only choose fish that’s been checked for MBTI quality, but it’s just not in my budget right now.
It’s not a bandwagon, it is a responsible life choice that will sustain not only the salmon industry but also our souls, and I am offended – and, frankly, a little sad for you 🙁 – that you view it as just some passing fad.
And I bet you throw out enough ESFJ produce that a little careful planning would fix your little “budget” problem. So there.
This is too accurate to be a joke.
wait, it’s a joke? *puts creatine powder back*
This really needs to become a tag.
Charol
I’ve been trying to decide whether to go to a reception thing this evening, and “not talking to someone at a work event while looking at some anchovies” gave me a vivid glimpse of what it will probably be like.
So, jar of creatine powder it is.
Also, and most often,”the skin surrounding my fingernails.” It’s like quiet-concentration-work crack / jerky.
This is very relatable.
Yup. My quiet time with a soy latte every day is the most important meal of my day.
– The still-warm flesh of ESTJ’s and leaders of team-building exercises
but why the sudden increase in the discredited Meyers-Briggs stuff on tumblr or is it just the people i follow have finally discovered it
the heart of someone who won’t stop trying to talk to me about their job
It is the mundane version of “Let me tell you about my D&D character”*
* except I actually want to hear about peoples’ D&D characters.
I play D&D and many other tabletop RPGs, and I barely want to hear about the other characters in the campaigns with me.
This is possibly the truest statement.
Most of them are just murderhoboes anyway.
Oh man, don’t tempt me.
A stock photo of some headphones
Hell is truly other people…. talking loudly anywhere near you while you are trying to do anything at all even if that thing is just pretending to be doing work and you forgot your headphones
I just prefer to curl up in bed with a novel and a handful of tofu.
My ENTJ heart just grew several sizes!
Shhhhhh…peace, be still, little extrovert.
I was at a friend’s 50th birthday party last week and it was really lovely. Held at her newly acquired 140 acre farm, it was the stuff that Pinterest dreams of: swing chair in the barn, mason jars flickering on stacked hay bales, her two horses standing serenely in the misty shrouded back pasture…
And yet…..
I boogied outta there after 2 torturous hours because I just couldn’t do any more small talk with strangers and/or passing acquaintances. Snuggled down on my travel trailer’s bed (we camped out next door to avoid drinking & driving) I felt a little guilty and a bit ashamed for ghosting such a great party but dudes, the brain peace was worth it. WORTH IT.
I would have been right there on the other side of the field in my own trailer studiously not speaking to you!!
HAH! Let me make room for you and feel free to browse through my emergency backup pile of Canadian Cowboy magazines. Tea is in the top shelf as are the mugs. Help yourself, my sweater weather friend!
Just me and the barn cat, ignoring all the people, together.
Aw, no cat BUT three very excitable dogs who would have very happily romped with you (if dogs are your thing!). My dog being one of them and who, I might add, didn’t come home until three in the morning. Not bad for an 8 year German Shepherd, gotta admit. (Also admitting I was upset with Mr.PonyAlong for not bringing my aforementioned dog home sooner because I missed his hairy company).
Last Christmastide my mom took me along to her coworker’s Christmas party. When I was done with chatting I wandered off and sat in a living room chair. Then the host brought me a dog to hug. I hugged the dog for two hours and watched HGTV. OPTIMAL PARTY.
THAT’S AWESOME!
What a truly excellent host!
Scandinavian yogurt topped with whispers and lingonberries.
Recent studies indicate the tears of extroverts pack a powerful nutritional punch.
The “Cookbook” section of a used bookstore
*claps*
Considerate party hosts put the chips and guacamole on a table between the cat tree and the best-stocked bookshelf, so introverts can nourish themselves properly.
Would attend this party.
Ikea salmon filet while crying discreetly over the latest Bisto Legs
Misandry & cream
A steaming casserole of “No, I don’t really want to discuss this.”
idk why or how this article is here, but I am so glad it is
Beef jerky and catching up on podcasts
I feel both calmer and well-nourished now
Lists that lack parallel construction are inherently funnier to me and I can’t really explain why.
transgressed expectations
It’s the unhumor of nerds.
Surely cheese consumed at silent nap and snack parties would provide a significant portion of introvert protein?
Ha ha — despite the this article’s implication that introverts exist, the fact is that really they are just normal people in need of a little social encouragement. We are dispatching teams to their locations who, when they arrive, will Hang Out with their targets. It will be a casual and relaxed time. They will show them things on their phones.
Protein available upon request. Also available: a bottle of wine that the target with think is a gift, which it is, but the team sort of expected that you would want to open it right now so you could share it, and they could tell you aaallll about it.
teams of mansplainers, right?
that’s who always Hangs Out with me at parties. while I look at the anchovies…
We won’t let them in though.
It’s just as well. The whole thing is basically an elaborate scheme to circumvent mobile ad-blocking software anyway.
I’ve already laid traps, and have made bets with myself as to how close your teams will get before springing them. The winner gets one (1) serving of low-carb chocolate mousse–4 oz. heavy cream, 2 tablespoons cocoa, 2 packets Truvia, blended, served with a few fresh raspberries–to be consumed to the sound of agonized, fading pleas.
I misread that as “agonised, fading peas”. I like my version.
If you want them to let you in, the “photos of things” should be photos of cats. Indeed, why all the euphemism? Surely that’s the only thing that phrase could ever possibly mean?
salted almonds and the mistaken assumption that introversion is an acceptable excuse for being a huge flake
black beans and it’s not that I’m flaky, it’s that [person, group or event] is fucking *exhausting* and can’t take “no” for an answer
more likely peanut butter and carefully budgeting energy for all social commitments so as not to seem like a flake.
IF ONLY I didn’t have to talk about quinoa (fucking quinoa) with servers, café counter persons, potluck hosts, and all manner of other people I don’t know very well. Unfortunately, it is taking over everything (especially everything vegetarian), and I can’t eat it, and they always want to know WHY. I don’t even like talking to people in the first place, never mind having to carry on detailed conversations about my inner organs. Fucking quinoa.
I have a similar thing with mushrooms and I handle it thusly:
“You don’t like mushrooms?”
“Mushrooms don’t like me.” (make an “eewwww” face)
Boom, done. They get the picture 95% of the time and no further details are requested. If they do press, just say “you don’t want to know” and make another face.
At a conference a while back I asked for a vegetarian entrée and listed mushrooms under “special needs” (because I’d rather not play Diarrhea Roulette with my digestive tract, thank you) and they brought me mushroom ravioli for dinner. WTF.
Oh my god yes. Quinoa makes me violently ill, as does romaine lettuce, and my spouse is horribly allergic to cashews, so basically most vegetarian or vegan recipe blogs are pointless for us.
I can rarely be arsed to cook with quinoa, maybe a few times a year, and cashews don’t make an appearance often either. When they do, my partner quietly snarfs down the rest of the packet later, so even fewer cashews make it to the dining table. We make lovely vegan food! Come and eat with us!
I tried a low carb diet recently (in my defence, I was showing all the symptoms of diabetes, so it was worth a try while I waited for the blood tests. Apparently my blood sugar is exemplary). As a vegan. I was desperately combining quinoa and red lentils as a rice substitute. That was a very long three days, and neither of us has wanted to look a grain of quinoa in the face ever since.
I just nearly-unconsciously ate a trail mix bar while reading this alone in my office so….. I guess trail mix bars and an office at the end of the hall?
The egg pillows (whites only) from those human-sized birds nests (http :// giantbirdsnest. com/)
*gasp* MUST HAVE!!!
Public Relations Specialists with a blood type of A Positive (they all have the same blood type anyway), roasted and stuffed with chestnuts and kale.
A dark room filled with quiet ghosts who just want vengeance and have no interest in making conversation.
And they're much easier to find–they just walk right the fuck up to you.
Most of them are just murderhoboes anyway.
Oh man, don't tempt me.
I've already laid traps, and have made bets with myself as to how close your teams will get before springing them. The winner gets one (1) serving of low-carb chocolate mousse–4 oz. heavy cream, 2 tablespoons cocoa, 2 packets Truvia, blended, served with a few fresh raspberries–to be consumed to the sound of agonized, fading pleas.
Contemplating a life spent in solitary confinement with only a pencil and endless sketchbooks and thinking “yeah, that would be all right,”
At a conference a while back I asked for a vegetarian entrée and listed mushrooms under "special needs" (because I'd rather not play Diarrhea Roulette with my digestive tract, thank you) and they brought me mushroom ravioli for dinner. WTF.
This post has become my main source of protein.
(typed from my lonely cubicle where I sit with a bag of grapes doing phone reference)
This post has become my main source of protein.
(typed from my lonely cubicle where I sit with a bag of grapes doing phone reference)