Sexual Overtures From An Alien Unfamiliar With The Human Body -The Toast

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Previously: Alien erotica.

“Keep your…keep your dick warm while I’m gone, then.”

“Best of luck with your whole genitals.”

“I have more fingers than orifices. That’s true for both of us. For all of us, humanly speaking, when it comes to being embodied. More fingers than orifices.”

“Let’s shudder together.”

“I’d happily generate fluids at your request, given a reasonable amount of preparation.”

“Most of your tongue is hiding under your throat, no matter how vigorously you waggle it toward my mouth.”

“We could grease one another. That’s an option. I could render you…greased internally, if that were a wish of yours.”

“I’d willingly perform ablutions on your, your…bathroom areas.”

“Consider treating me as one of the following for the next hour: food, an enemy, a miscellaneous animal.”

“One of us could easily siphon the other, and I have no real objections to that.”

“Put what is in your mouth in my mouth.”

“I’d like to dehydrate you slightly.”

“When we’ve finished doing what it is that we do, both of us will have sloughed off multiple layers of dead skin cells.”

“Kindly elucidate my folds.”

“Whichever direction you prefer is acceptable. We are both reversible.”

“I’d like to envelop, or at the least invert, a part of you that recently digested food.”

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