That is not a MELLIFLUOUS headline, but I wanted to make sure I hit the main bullet points of 1. I am Dear Prudence now, over at Slate, and also 2. I am not leaving the Toast in even the slightest bit, I am doing both things, and I feel I accomplished my goal, headline-wise. I will run through a little FAQ here because this is very new and exciting!
Is this a joke? It feels like a joke.
It is not a joke! It is for real and for true.
Wait, didn’t you JUST write a thing about Dear Prudence like, a month ago? Is that why they gave this to you?
Yes! I did! I do not know if that was something Slate took into consideration.
Are you excited?
Isn’t this two jobs? I don’t think you can do two jobs.
Nuts to you! I think I’ll be great.
But aren’t you worried about burnout? What if you want to sleep, or have a baby, or something?
Then I’ll take a nap or get pregnant or induce pregnancy in someone else! If I’m not worried about it, I don’t know why you should be. I have plenty of time, I’m always watching TV.
Why did you imagine such an antagonistic FAQ?
I gotta lot of nervous energy from all the excitement. Sorry if I jumped down your throat. What a day!
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.