Songs From a Christmas Album in Which More Than a Few Aims of Feminism Have Been Achieved -The Toast

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“Santa Baby, Thanks for Not Evaluating Me Based on How Many Fellas I’ve Kissed”

“Mary, Did You Know That You Have 12 Months of Paid Family Leave?”

“The Little Drummer”

“Our Children Both Desire and Have Received Age-Appropriate, Non-Violent, Non-Sexist Toys”

“Oh, What Fun It Is to Ride Public Transit Late at Night With No Harassment”

“O Little Town of Bethlehem, How Many and Affordable Are Thy Health Care Choices for Women”

“I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In, and Mary Had 50 Percent Equity in Their Ownership”

“Un Flambeau, Jeanette, Isabella, Because We’re Comfortable With Nursing in Public and Mary Needs Better Light and Also a Glass of Water and Some Nachos”

“City Sidewalks, Busy Sidewalks Dressed in Holiday Style, Where Nobody Yells at Me About My Butt”

“Grandma Got Politely Nodded at By a Reindeer, Who Acknowledged Her Highly Respected Status as an Older Woman in Our Society”

“What (Free) Child(care) Is This? (There Are So Many to Choose From)”

“The Holly and the Ivy League University, Where All Sex Is Consensual”

“The Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy, and If He Had a Twin Sister Who Grew Up to Have the Same Job They Would Be Paid the Same”

“Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All (Look, It’s Obvious the Angels Meant People, So We’re Going to Say) People”

“We Three Kings Are Merely Figureheads in Democracies Where Women Make Up 50 Percent of Elected Representatives”

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside, So I Can Put the Snow Chains On and Give You a Ride Home if That’s What You Want”

“None of Her Christian Fans Ever Shamed Amy Grant for Her Divorce”

“In the Meadow We Can Build a Snow-Woman, and Pretend That She Is Parson Brown, Who Receives Pay and Respect and Opportunities for Advancement Equal to Those of Her Male Colleagues”

“Lucy & Linus”

Hannah Faith Notess is managing editor of Seattle Pacific University's Response magazine and the editor of Jesus Girls: True Tales of Growing Up Female and Evangelical, a collection of personal essays. Her first book of poetry, The Multitude, is now available from Southern Indiana Review Press.

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