“Le droit du seigneur” = the droit of the seigneur
“Primae noctis” = the most noctis
“Deus vult” = God vults
“Dies Irae” = the day of Ira
“Lex orandi, lex credendi” = If Lex orandis, Lex must also later credendi
“Nibelungenlied” = Nibelungen’s, or any of the other Lungen’s, lies
“Linquo coax ranis” = even Linquo can’t convince Ranis
“Sic et Non” = it’s me, Peter Abelard
“Beowulf” = Bea’s Wolf [Bea Arthur]
“Chanson de geste” = Chanting for guests
“Summa Theologiæ” = some theology
[Image via]
Well, there’s your problem. You need linquo coax ranis, and this cable is linquo cat6 ranis.
Positively cackling.
I love you for this.
gifs make everything better
My cackle escaped suppression at the Abelard gag. Such shade! So deserved!
That’s exactly where I lost it too! Tears in my eyes at the “some theology”
That line made me sad, because I had a cat named Abelard and we had to put him to sleep earlier this year because of cancer. 🙁
O noes, I am so sorry. My kitty is in palliative care right now, and, since her name is Dee Dee, I don’t know if i will be able to listen to the Ramones ever again 🙁
I finally learned how to post a photo with 40 days to spare.
I’m so impressed by you! I got an Intense Debate account! Go us!
I’m totally referring to Bea Arthur as “Beowulf” now. And vice versa.
“La Mort le Roi Artu” = King Arthur’s Moat
Finally, someone reading French the way I read French. But can we talk about how so many academic papers would footnote every language except for French?
I have the same question. Do all smart people automatically know how to read French? I can read a little Spanish and German. When I was in highschool everyone was like “learn Spanish, it will matter in The Future when you have to communicate with your neighbors” which, that’s true, but I would also be embarrassed to even try to speak my extremely terrible Spanish in front of any native Spanish speakers.
I think it’s a Thing with academics. My supervising professor told me he thought I should acquire “at least a reading knowledge of French.”
MY SUBJECT IS CLASSICAL JAPANESE LITERATURE.
For a Art History MFA, we had to have a reading knowledge of German and French, they made us pass tests for both
It used to be pretty standard for the “educated” to speak French, so maybe that’s where it comes from? I know that by the time I reached AP English and AP French in high school, I was wondering how on earth my classmates who took AP Spanish were getting through the English reading material. A lot of English lit classics contain a fair amount of untranslated French. Presumably because the audience at the time would have understood them? I’m not sure, but as a bibliophile, I’m glad I speak French. Really need to get on learning Latin, though….
Musicology papers (related to Western music) never translate German! Apparently Classical music still belongs to the Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms legacy.
I now know all kind of strange esoteric words in German like ‘klangfarbenmelodie’ but no practical German.
sound color melody? sounds like a great post-rock band name
As a practical German, you know more than me. What the hell is a “Klangfarbenmelodie”?
Essentially it means Pointillism – but with little dots of sound instead of little dots of paint on a canvas.
It truly is a lovely word.
doesn’t get much more practical than that if you ask me!
Clearly I have to work on my synesthesia.
Yes, I was thinking the same thing about musicology. This practice, unfortunately, springs up unbidden in faculty meetings as well with incomprehensible jokes followed by self-satisfied guffaws. If we are talking about approving a student’s request for a cognate course substitution, it takes especially pompous effort to insert a contextual joke in German.
I’ve always wondered whether this is an issue in Jane Eyre, actually, where there’s quite a bit of untranslated French. I can read it, so it doesn’t bother me, but I’ve always wondered what one does with these bits if you’re studying/ teaching the book, for example. It is strange that I’ve never seen an edition that footnotes them.
When I read Anna Karenina, the Russian was translated to English, but the French was not. There is a MAJOR plot point at the end of the first section that is revealed in French. I figured it out from context like 2 chapters later but COME ON.
How annoying! It’s really a very unhelpful and quite elitist assumption that anyone who might like to read said book must automatically speak French (and probably Latin and German too). Footnotes are the way forward!
It’s certainly strange in modern context. The “educated” might have been able to speak French when it was written, but considering the focus on Spanish in modern schools, (I finished high school more than a decade ago, and even then we had two French teachers–one of whom taught more Spanish classes than French–and at least a half dozen Spanish teachers) it doesn’t make sense that more recent editions don’t bother to translate the French.
I can tell you that when you are 10 years old and know no French but are trying to read Jane Eyre anyway because your parents have that edition with the woodcuts that are super-cool, you spend a long time “figuring out” the French by trying to analogize each word to an English word that it looks like, then go back to making lorgnettes out of twigs with your friend at recess. (There was a woodcut of — probably Blanche’s mother or someone with a lorgnette right around where a lot of the French is.)
This is what you do when you are a 10-year old Future Toastie of America (I assume, because the Internet is America. And also because I’ve never heard anybody else use the word recess).
When I was 10 and learning French, I found it supremely disappointing that “pays francophones” did not mean “French pay phones”. (Yes, there were still pay phones when I was 10.)
Reading Jane Eyre in French at age 10, though — wow!
oh, no not in French: that was just how I dealt with the french dialogue that I didn’t know (and also the fact that after the first few chapters, once Jane had grown up, I only had the vaguest of vague ideas of what was going on)
Reading A Little Princess, Little Women, and a collection of Lord Peter short stories as a child are what made me want to learn French, because they have untranslated French in them.
(Plus the Spanish teacher was creepy and not a good teacher, and he was fired when I was in college for being inappropriate with a student.)
Classics papers refuse to translate anything, unless it’s an academic making a point of how to translate a certain word. Italian? Hah. German? Nope. Latin or Greek? Well, why don’t you know how to translate that already, undergrad?
I had a Classics supervisor who would do that with Italian! She’d have a sudden thought, grab an Italian book of criticism (at least I assume it was), read a big passage out loud, then look at me as though she’d answered my question. I don’t understand Italian, lady!!
Another supervisor for Medieval and Renaissance English literature would always pick on me to translate the Latin words we came across in texts because he knew I studied the language. Naturally I never ever knew the words or phrases he was quoting at me.
When I did a Linguistics option as part of my English course, I was asked by my tutor, “How is your Latin?”. The answer to that is “non-existent”. (Which is unfortunate, as I did Old and Middle English, and some Renaissance literature, and Latin would have helped. Also, I studied Gower, who wrote three massive poems in Middle English, Norman French and medieval Latin. Basically, I was screwed.)
I did the early Middle Ages, focusing almost exclusively on the British Isles, in significant part because I have neither French nor Latin. I have some German, though, which made OE pretty easy. So yeah.
(Norman French, what is *up* with you?)
It’s Viking French duh
That’s surely also because literally every passage of classical literature has a very specific German term invented precisely for it. And then you get extra points for other languages, e.g. “But first we must more fully unpack the ways in which the Heldenschau functions as a Fürstenspiegel before we can begin to see how it, like the Teichoskopie in its modello-codice, acts as a mise-en-abyme.”
the terrifying thing is I’m not sure if you’ve made those words up, without googling. You might have done. You might not have done. I might have used them in an essay one time and then forgotten what they meant.
Legitimately all of my knowledge of French comes from ballet terminology which I only kind of sort of know what it actually means. That comes in real handy, let me tell you.
“Post hoc, ergo propter hoc”- I mailed you a loogie because it was important that I mail you a loogie.
It would have been improper not to, even.
And I propped it on a baby carrier for you.
I can’t remember any of the context for this at all, but a friend and I had a moment in college where we simultaneously and unprompted uttered “post hoc, ergo propter hoc, bitches!” I don’t remember why this happened, but I’m sure it was awesome.
There are two phrases which I must mutter under my breath and giggle about every time I see or read them:
Propter Hoc
Webinar
ehehehehe
I remember being so excited that I knew this when it came up as the title of a West Wing episode.
Needless late night confession: I have always thought the Latin would make a great lower back tattoo.
Literally me, pretending I can actually read Latin and French after taking two semesters of each in college.
I secretly hope everyone sort of feels this way reading Latin.
Can confirm. I took Latin for seven years. During that time I got a lot of awards for accomplishment in the language*. I literally never stopped feeling this way reading Latin. And now that I’m no longer actively studying it, I still know a bunch of grammar but, if possible, even fewer specific words than when I started. I will decline every noun. I can translate none of them.
*Granted these awards were for accomplishment relative to i) other kids 14-18, ii) studying Latin, iii) in my specific area of the United States. You gotta figure that’s a small sample size.
I think your awards are important no matter how small the sample size, and I’m comforted by your testimony regarding Latin’s trickiness! (It occurs to me that my first comment might have seemed sort of mean-spirited, and I totally didn’t intend it that way – I’m just always relieved to learn I’m not the only one who thinks Latin is hard. :p)
I will decline every noun. I can translate none of them.
Sounds about right! I’m about to go back to university to do a Classics MA and I’ve forgotten eeeeeverything. Do people ask you to translate inscriptions on Classical architecture? Because I am shockingly bad at that and always try to change the subject before anyone realises I have no fucking clue.
Oh yeah, people ask me to translate inscriptions far too often for my comfort. They also ask me a lot about Catholic prayers and hymns and whatnot. Fortunately I have a really long and really pedantic tangent stored away about Ecclesiastical Latin pronunciation for these occasions. By the time I’m halfway through it they’ve lost interest in anything I have said or will ever say, and I get out of having to translate the thing. I still don’t have an adequate dodge for written Latin.
Henry Beard to the rescue!
“Having done these things, they made the sacrifices prescribed by custom lest they be found lacking in filial piety.”
ugh, yes, it’s not my fault they’re in all caps with no spaces and weird abbreviations, half of which are proper nouns!
YES! I only did 3 three years of high school Latin, but somehow that still became “yo, what does this sarcophagus/cathedral ceiling/bust say?” in Italy. I was frequently saved by looking for phrases from Mass arrangements I’d sung in choir more than remembering anything from Latin.
High five to a former JCL-er (I’m presuming?)! I still have my award ribbons and have every intention of keeping them, Latin was hard work.
And reading Latin always makes me feel silly and at the same like I’m starting a magical enchantment that I have no idea how to control and that could either possibly unravel the fabric of reality or change my sock color. Both equally horrifying outcomes.
High five for JCL!
And yeah, I get a very similar sensation from reading Latin. It’s a little goofy.
“Latin nouns? No thanks, I’m trying to cut down.”
I really wanted to take Latin in school, but the last Latin prof retired literally the year before I started.
It’s sad that life experiences as big and potentially door-opening as learning a language can be derailed for mundane reasons like “some person retired a year too early,” but c’est la vie, I guess.
I was fortunate to have a wonderful, amazingly well-qualified Latin prof (she spoke, like, seven languages, and was just generally delightful), and my mediocrity shouldn’t be taken as a mark against her. Nor was I a bad student, tbh. I actually cared and put in the work, but because class schedules and major requirements and tuition are dumb I had to break it off before I really got going. And studying a language outside of a structured class environment/immersion experience almost never actually happens, in my experience, much as I may pretend I’m going to do it. Mediocrity it is.
We learned Latin and German in my school gifted program. The teacher first year was amazing. Then she retired, and we got a teacher who didn’t know Latin, but was willing to learn.
I never learned Latin.
If
“Beowulf” = Bea’s Wolf [Bea Arthur]
does that mean
“Grendel” = Estelle’s Grendel [Estelle Getty]
?
Also is not Bea Arthur King Arthur’s grandmother? Lady of the Lake or summat?
No, Arthur Pendragon was misspelled over the centuries, its previous spelling being Aruthe McDragon, and the original version being Rue McClanahan.
Betty White is the Lady of St Olaf, obvs.
And I’m singing Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights as “Heloise, it’s me, Peter/ Abelard I’m so cold…”
I’m actually rather surprised she’s never done an Abelard and Heloise-based song.
filioque — “take THAT, Patriarch of Constantinople”
Oh, I thought filioque was “girl horse is all right”
better
Might need to print this and keep it on my desk for future reference! My Latin (is that Latin?) is non-existent, so I assume it’s all legit, right?
Homoousios = having the same ouzo as your neighbor.
Homoiousios = having a similar ouzo as your neighbor, but it’s a different brand.
I would like to thumbs-up this 1,000 times.
Trinitarianism makes way more sense that way.
This one post has taught me more than half a French degree spent accidentally specialising in early medieval literature.
“Lex orandi, lex credendi” = If Lex orandis, Lex must also later credendi
Love that “orandi” and “credendi” can be replaced with literally almost any word, and maintains sense!
If Lex orates, Lex must also later crescendo
If Lex organizes, Lex must also later crash
If Lex originates, Lex must later creed
Who is this Lex guy, and why can’t he get a break?
It’s Lex Luthor, he deserves it.
Credendi arms into a sea of haters!
This reminds me of an anecdote I saw in a lawyer’s autobiography at work once: a fellow student asked “Who is this Rex fellow, and why is he getting into so many disputes?”
Because he stole 40 cakes. And that’s terrible.
“nimis maleficos” = too witches
“Some” theology is really quite enough theology, thank you.
honi soit qui mal y pense
Honey is who Mal thinks about.
nihil obstat: Paging Dr. Nihil to Obstetrics, stat.
Mallory.
I want to add a gif of Josh Lyman translating “Post hoc ergo propter hoc” but I can’t find one 🙁
Ex libris = We used to be Libras
Sine qua non = Trigonometry? OhHELLno
Mutatis mutandis = Shut up. Just shut up, Andy!
I once saw a truck in Montreal for a catering company named “Agnus Dei.” TOO LITERAL, GUYS.
did they serve a lot of shish kebabs?
O Montreal and your weird insistence on having food puns in your restaurant names.
I don’t get it. I know Agnus Dei = lamb of God…?
However, I just returned from my first trip to Montreal, and I enjoyed pretending that restaurants calling themselves “traiteur” were traitors. (I just googled them, and they are in fact called Agnus Dei Traiteur, yay!)
What I mean is the company is treating it like it’s this funny play on words, but lamb of god is another name for Jesus and it refers to him being a sacrificial lamb.
It just seems like that’s a morbid name for a catering company.
a priori: a priory
a posteriori: a butt
sic transit gloria mundi: Gloria threw up in the metro on Monday
“Some Theology” if only
Well in THE LATIN it says “I have to go stand in the bathroom for 20 mins. because I’d rather stare at a paper towel dispenser than return to this classroom”
“some theology” is really killing me for some reason. (could also be the grad school-induced sleep deprivation but man, i’m cry-laughing)
Whoa, do I get to be the one to post this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIAdHEwiAy8
Semper eadem: smile foolishly at cheese
Also, this: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/titles-of-bach…
Hahaaaahahahah the Bach chorales!
Who knew Bach had such an obsession with seals?
I found McSweeney’s a while ago, I think it could even replace bits of The Toast after the bitter, bitter end. Or at least soften the blow a bit, anyway.
I wish I could remember the McSweeney’s list that was particularly Toasty. I think it came out around the same time as the List of Books Literally All White Men Own.
Sorry, “Dies Irae” is “All the Iras must die!!”
This looks suspiciously like my actual Latin students’ actual translations, is my comment.
I know, right?
Deus ex machina- In the day, your ex goes to Mackinac Island
“Deus vult” = God vults
Shame on you. It obviously means “the vulture god”.
Malleus Maleficarum: a mall for dudes
Some theology indeed. (Oh please let me not accidentally call it that in a lecture)
I live to serve, and would add "Non ministrari sed ministrare" if that did not in fact mean, "The nun from the Minster said she had her period."
There is a bit in Connie Willis’ To Say Nothing Of The Dog where a student translates “Non omnia possumus omnus” as “No possums allowed on the omnibus.”
I may or may not have saluted my teacher with “Ave, magister, morituri te salutant”* before sitting down to a Latin test.
* Because if you DO know the phrase that means “Hail, Caesar [or teacher], those about to die salute you,” you MUST use it. You can’t just sit on that kind of information. It’s why I share it now.
Fiat Lux- a very nice and expensive Italian car.
I just now realize that I never had issues with Latin because as kids, we read the Asterix comics religiously. At one point, we tried to fit as many ill-pronounced latin proverbs in the conversation as possible. We must have been obnoxious children.
omg same
Dolce et decorum est pro patria mori = Dolce and Gabbana decorate for more patriarchs.
“Dies Irae” = the day of Ira
I think it’s a known in some circles as “Friday”, the day that This American Life airs.