Lindsay-King Miller most recently told us How Not to Walk Around Naked.
Hello and welcome, Toasties! I am a fashionable fat girl on a budget, and as such, my love/hate relationship with clothing is more fraught and all-consuming than any other contentious relationship in my life, including that one time I had a crush on my roommate. The things I love don’t come in my size; the things that come in my size I can’t afford; the things I can afford are inordinately frilled or covered in enormous floral patterns that would be more at home on a sofa. Getting dressed in the morning is, let’s face it, a constant struggle. This column is here to document that struggle.
Let’s be clear about one thing before we get started: I know absolutely nothing about Fashion with a capital F. I’m just some girl blogging in a pair of pajama pants and an ink-stained tank top, and I am not trying to be your guide through the trials and tribulations of plus-size style. I won’t tell you what to wear–this is not the place for grand declarations of what’s In and what’s Out, or for replacing three-quarters of your wardrobe every year because you’re not allowed to wear pastels anymore. I don’t even really want to talk about fashion so much as I want to talk about clothes: what we wear, what we love, what we hate, what we yearn for in the depths of our souls (a really good vest with no button gap). And hopefully we’ll all come out looking foxier than ever on the other side.
So I don’t know what it’s like where y’all live, but in my neighborhood, we just came around a corner and got smacked in the face with MOTHERFUCKING AUTUMN. Suddenly, all the trees are tipped with gold, all the beers are pumpkin-flavored, and all the cute shorts and sexy sandals are out to pasture for the year. It’s a time for curling up under a blanket with a good book or a season of Game of Thrones; a time for baking; a time for reflecting on your own mortality; a time, most importantly, for shopping.
The changing of the seasons is my favorite excuse for spending money I don’t really have on clothes. I need appropriate outfits for cold weather! Never mind that I still have all the clothes that kept me warm last fall and winter; those are expired. I need the updated 2013-14 models for improved coziness, aerodynamicism, and sexiness. Okay, actually I’ve already bought what new clothes I can afford (teachers go back-to-school shopping too), but I’m not going to let that hold me back from my favorite hobby: online fat-chick window shopping!
Let’s start at Torrid. This is the one place I bought real-life new clothes this season. I focused on wardrobe staples – black skinny jeans, blue jean skirt, black blazer – and one teeny splurge: this top, which I love because unlike most high-waisted shirts, the waist is located in the neighborhood of my actual waist, not my nipples. (Big boobs take up vertical as well as horizontal space, a fact that many plus-size clothing manufacturers prefer to ignore.)
A Word on Pink and Black: For several years in high school, I wore almost nothing but black; when I started to wear colors again, for at least a year and possibly longer, the only color I wore was pink. Everything in my wardrobe was pink and black. People commented on how coordinated my outfits always looked, and I smiled and did not tell them that the secret was to only own two colors of clothing. In recent years I’ve branched out into other hues – I now own garments in green, blue, red, purple, even, God help me, orange – but somewhere deep in my femme-goth soul, I still believe that pink and black are the truest and best colors in existence.
All of which is to say: I want these jeans. With some sexy black wedges (that I don’t currently have, because my last pair of sexy black wedges died of natural causes and I have not yet been able to find their equal) and a black top with some shiny bits, like this? Send me to a desert island with that outfit, a barrel of peanut butter pretzels and a vibrator, and I will be happy for the rest of my life.
In other news, I may be the only fat girl with Internet access that is not that sold on eShakti. I want to love them – their stuff is so cute! They do custom sizes! They send you coupons like ALL THE TIME, dear God, once they get a hold of your email address it’s a never-ending barrage of discounts, I think at some point they actually start paying you for wearing their clothes. But I’ve bought two eShakti dresses, and both times I paid extra for custom sizing and sent them my measurements, and both times they were just…not quite right. They didn’t quite seem to grasp the physics of giant boobs – once again, it’s a question of vertical space. Breasts are not full of helium. They are subject to gravity like the rest of us, and when they expand, they do so in a downward as well as outward fashion. You can try to push them chinward with underwires and tailoring, and they might go along for a time, but they will make their dissatisfaction known. Anyway, as much as I wanted to adore them, both of those frocks ended up at Goodwill, and it’s been over a year since I last ordered from eShakti.
That being said, if you are lucky enough to be a more standard-proportioned sort of dress-wearing individual, there’s no getting around the fact that those dresses are freaking adorable. This one, in gorgeously autumnal oxblood, just wants to snuggle up with you and some sweater tights and the perfect pair of black booties and keep you warm forever. And of course, the whole point of shopping at eShakti is their array of prints and embellishments, which run the gamut from “adorable” to “oh my god shut up,” so while we’re spending imaginary money we might as well pick 
up this super cute anchor-print number: it’s made of cozy corduroy, and the bright red collar will brighten up any gray day. Just customize some three-quarter sleeves up in there and wear it until the sun comes back!
Obviously no self-respecting femme is going to stop wearing skirts just because it gets cold outside, but just as obviously, a girl needs to keep her legs warm. I am a total fiend for colorful and patterned tights and leggings, and one of my favorite things to do in the fall is layer hosiery. Start with a solid bottom layer – my workhorse black tights are these, but in a 1x/2x, which doesn’t seem to be available online – and throw something lacy on top of it. Go black-on-black for sexy texture with something like this or add a pop of color with bright fishnets. Finally, top it off with an adorable polka dot dress like this one or the one I got at a thrift store four years ago that’s still in perfect condition. Polka dots and fishnets: because not mixing patterns is for chumps.
For colder weather, start with a basic black legging like the ones you can get at Old Navy (I have their cropped version and they come down to my ankles, because even though I am 5’4”, which is ACTUALLY AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A WOMAN THANK YOU VERY MUCH, my body is like 80% torso and my legs are tiny little stumps). Layer with bright-colored lace and some sturdy knee-high boots – these have a wide calf and would look so hot on you – and you can keep wearing your favorite skirts and dresses all the way through to spring.
Finally, it’s a myth that most of your body heat is lost through your head, but don’t let that stop you from stocking up on warm and delightful knit hats! You can buy this one for – holy shit, how much money? Never mind, get your crafty friend or relative to make you one. They’re not busy. Or grab this one which is very cute for a tenth of the price. You’ll have hat hair when you get home, but God dammit, you’ll be cozy.
Okay! What are you wearing this fall? And, ooh, what are you going to be for Halloween?
Tags: fat frugal and stylish, lindsay king-miller, oxford commas, plus size, shopping
A Toastie already stole the last oxblood dress, but you should go look at how purty it was anyway!
YOU LOOK SO TOUGH AND COOL
I KNOW. She was all “oh, maybe this one will work,” and I hit ADD MEDIA like a wild thing.
I’M NEITHER but sometimes I like to pretend! <3 <3 <3
YES THAT PHOTO
“Big boobs take up vertical as well as horizontal space, a fact that many plus-size clothing manufacturers prefer to ignore.”
This is the truest true. I am similarly long-torsoed and I would wear every peplum if I could, but I CANNOT due to this oversight.
I know someone who got a boob reduction and while she was technically doing it because of back problems, the thing she seemed most excited about was that shirts would actually be long enough for her after it.
Wait, 5’4 is average? So I’m only SLIGHTLY shorter than average, instead of MUCH shorter? MY WHOLE DAY HAS CHANGED.
I am some sort of giant if 5’4″ is average.
I absolutely think it is indeed the average height of an American woman! Congrats, giantess!
Oh dip. So I guess I should be more understanding when strangers feel moved to tell me I’m soooo tall. How shocking it must be for them, poor dears.
I had a friend claim that at 5’10”, I am not particularly tall.
Me: “Well, the average height for American women is 5’4″…”
Her: “Yeah, but 5’10” isn’t much bigger than that!”
I think she mistakenly thought I was insecure about my height and thought the best fix would be to pretend that I’m not actually tall.
I am 5’9″-ish, but I always thought the average height of American women was 5’6″, so I wasn’t THAT tall. But now here we are.
In other news, I’m about 5’4″ and I always thought of my self as petite. The world has shifted, ever so slightly.
SO RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS. Also OOOH Y’ALL, ASOS CURVE. Free shipping/returns, huge selection, ACTUALLY fashion forward, which I require, being the simple creatire that i am. Can be a little pricy but wait til it goes on sale! I am a bishop in the church of Asos Curve, for real.
YES asos curve yes
That oxblood dress is ADORABLE, my gods.
I buy fabulous socks and leggings from SockDreams – they’re great at telling truthfully if a certain thigh high sock will even be capable of getting near your thighs if you’re over a size 10; their CS is phenomenal (they sometimes draw things on the invoice if you ask them to!); and they’ve got everything under the sun for styles of socks and tights.
Also FREE SHIPPING in the United States! Freeeee!
SOCKDREAMS FOREVER! <3
I once asked Sockdreams to draw my “a wild sockstress” on my invoice. This was the result: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shahea/10461198904/
I love Sock Dreams! I haven’t bought anything from them in a while, but their customer service is amazing.
Oh, my god, they make legwarmers that will actually fit. This is a gamechanger.
Also, sweater tights, and fleece-lined tights. (This is where I complain about how Merona makes all of their tights up to a size 1x/2x, except for their sweater tights, which only go up to an L.) But wearing fleece-lined tights is like wearing leg-hugging jammies all day long.
Fleece-lined tights forever! I got a pair at Nordstrom Rack, and then had to go back and get a second pair. Now I’m punching myself wondering why I didn’t get 5. (They were like $8!)
I only recently learned about the existence of fleece-lined tights and I think I require them. Any good brand suggestions?
So on board with this. Wise Toast-miesters, where do we find these wonders? I never want to wear pants again.
I bought my first pair of fleece-lined footless tights (didn’t get the footed because i wanted to wear them with big wooly socks and not worry about them dragging down) at a shop in Santa Cruz, CA called Legs. If you’re ever in the area I highly recommend it. I’ve found the same ones in both versions for sale at Sock Dreams! They’re the B. Ella brand.
Footless: http://www.sockdreams.com/products/thermo-fleece-…
Footies: http://www.sockdreams.com/products/brand/bella/th…
I am 5’8″ with a pretty tall inseam so I got the biggest size available. Regular tights are often way too short on my body and end up saggin’ and cuttin’ me up. Since the XL size fit 6’2”-7’0 or 170 – 200 lbs I knew it was a match made in fuzzy heaven.
Also the idea of only wearing these with only a long sweater passed through my mind but they have a pretty unattractive butt seam which will force you to actually put the rest of your outfit on, thus shielding the world from yet another pantless disaster waiting to happen.
BRB, wearing these all winter.
I bought my first pair of fleece-lined footless tights (didn’t get the footed because i wanted to wear them with big wooly socks and not worry about them dragging down) at a shop in Santa Cruz, CA called Legs. If you’re ever in the area I highly recommend it. I’ve found the same ones in both versions for sale at Sock Dreams! They’re the B. Ella brand.
I’ve bought mine at Ross and TJ Maxx.
My thighs rub together and eventually destroy every pair of trousers, so I can only imagine how long knit tights would last. Ten wearings, maybe? 🙁
Mine do, too, but my Hue wool tights looked good for a full winter of wearing them twice a week, and are looking not too bad the second winter.
I have the same inevitable jean issue but do pretty well with knit tights. (I also have several pairs of Hue tights and a few are at least two years old? I tend to wreck them by putting holes in the feet.)
I wore fleece tights and a sweater dress yesterday and it was like I spent the day in pajamas even though I was sitting at my desk. Well, except for the bra. But fleece tights are the BEST and have made it so that I don’t have to eventually give up sometime in January and start wearing pants, which are the WORST.
I was just thinking about my need to buy something like that yesterday. Does Target have fleece-lined tights/leggings?
I do not think so? But check Ross and TJ Maxx.
As another fat 5’4″ type I say HELLO! I am the opposite though, I have a short torso and longass legs so my trouble is not looking pregnant in like, 90% of tops that exist. I live in skinny jeans and leggings (but leggings only under things that cover my butt, I do not wear them as pants, because I prefer my butt covered). This column is something I am pleased we have here at the Toast! Thank you please and forever!
I have yet to buy from eShakti because a busty friend of mine said the same thing you said about the boob issues. You are not alone in this either!
eshakti does NOT understand about boobs at all. I have several jersey dresses from them that I love with my whole heart, but the fitted dresses have mostly been misses in the tits department.
SOCK DREEEEEEEEAMS. I literally just reblogged a thing via the lovely figwiggin about how great they are as a company and how they are totally on board with the fats. Right now I am wearing the Extraordinary Thigh Highs as knee-highs. WOO. I also wear a shit-ton of We Love Colors tights.
For a fall jacket I splurged on this coat from Modcloth – according to their front page there’s a 25% off code for coats but I don’t see it anywhere? Who knows. I’m also rediscovering Lands’ End for basic knit tops and sweaters. They have sales ALL THE TIME.
I am eschewing hats entirely and knitting a hooded scarf. I will probably still look like my Russian great-grandmother instead of a fetching winsome model, but it will not make my forehead all itchy, so it’s still a win.
If you go to the main page, it says to use code “BRRR25” at checkout.
I just bought a new fake leather coat from Kohl’s online yesterday because my current one is falling apart (and a little too small), but I want it NOW.
OMG THIS COAT. http://www.modcloth.com/shop/coats/winterberry-ta…
I want it 🙁
oh man that is a great hooded scarf pattern! What color are you using?
Using some light grey alpaca/wool, because my winter coats are purple, blue, and a black-and-white houndstooth plaid thing and also I already had it in my stash. I just started it the other day!
That’s going to be gorgeous!
I love Lands’ End and they have a lot of nice-looking plus-size dresses.
HOLY SHIT WHERE HAS SOCK DREAMS BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
Literally JUST yesterday I was fruitlessly googling plus-size tights and I kept coming back to We Love Colors, which seems fine, but I like sheer patterned tights over opaque coloured tights, so I was really disappointed. GOD BLESS Y’ALL MY AUTUMN IS SAVED.
LAND’S END FTW.
*ahem* Sorry, not to trample over the SockDreams love, because I just posted about them above and LUUURVE them, but I just bought a bunch of sweaters from LE during one of their last sales (and they do have them allthegoddamnedtime) and I can’t say enough how much I like them. I have a cotton sweater that looks like a fisherman’s sweater, but IT’S NOT ITCHY WOOL. Sorcery.
Next time I have spare cash and they have a sale I am buying SO many sweaters.
I’m thinking about buying more. Several of my sweaters that I thought lived through this past winter I’m finding now didn’t so much. If anyone knows how to make under-arms of sweaters last longer, I would love to know the tricks, because after about 2 winters all of my close fitting shirts are gross and stinky and oddly stiff from the deodorant, I assume.
I believe you are looking for A Clean Person. You can find her here on the tumblrs! Also in the Canada thread from this morning.
My god, there really is an answer for everything online… 🙂
Word. I have recently rediscovered Land’s End, and I LOVE THEM.
Also, they will hem your pants to whatever length you want! Free! And their customer service is truly excellent.
I knit that hood (after deciphering the pattern, oh the trouble I go through for Ysolda’s beautiful knits) but I ran out of yarn and instead of being sensible and BUYING more I just bound off and now it fits awkwardly and I am resentful of it. But it’s so soft and snuggly that I can’t bear to frog it. It is super warm though!
It was very reassuring to see the comments on the pattern full of “THIS IS SO CONFUSING.” Not just me! BUT I WILL PERSERVERE!
Also, I’m in love with that hooded scarf ( I wish I could knit! Or enjoyed it when I tried to learn!) and I think it’s going to look freaking adorable.
I love Ysolda’s patterns!
I am having a long-overdue wardrobe replenishment shopping spree as soon as Jos gets another job (because then the redundancy money becomes ‘fun money’ and not ‘we might have to live off this for a few months’ money) but I am not used to shopping for my new body, so I am liking this series.
I have a load of random pretties that fit me that I bought from charity shops but only a couple of pairs of trousers because the thighs of my jeans wear out SO FAST. Is there a way to stop them wearing out so quickly?
If there is, I haven’t found it, and it’s SO FRUSTRATING. Especially because I’ve never really gotten the hang of wearing skirts, & I don’t have to wear grownup clothes to work (I do, sometimes, but jeans are just so nice), so I wear a lot of jeans, and they wear out in the crotch long before they’re anywhere near needing to be replaced. And I can patch them, but that makes them weekend jeans, and I can only have so many pairs of those.
This is completely off topic, but I just have to say that I get so distracted when I see your avatar. All I can think is MR. BISCUIT!!! And then I have to go back and read the full story on The Billfold, just because it’s probably the best thing ever posted on the internet, and look at those glorious photos. /weird tangent over/
“all the cute shorts and sexy sandals are out to pasture for the year.”
not true, IT’S CUTE SHORT AND SWEATER-TIGHT SEASON!!!
yessss. My autumn uniform basically.
I dunno, man – shorts and tights together just seems like SO much work every time I have to go pee. If I’m wearing tights and a dress, I only have one thing to pull down/readjust.
I don’t feel the shorts really add a lot of labour to the process, and I’m struggling to imagine the crotch-devouring giant button-fly that would, but it’s just another non-pant cold weather option for a non-dress silhouette. To each their own!
(personally too lazy for button flies 100% of the time)
I guess it just says more about the fact that I am, at times, profoundly lazy. Shorts for some, dresses for others! May we all be attired in the manner of our choosing 🙂
TINY FLAGS OR OTHER SMALL HAND-HELD PARTY FAVOURS OF OUR CHOOSING FOR ALL
The bonus of shorts-over-tights is that then they don’t fall down! Usually I wear boyshorts over my tights to accomplish this, but shorts would also work.
I have to say, I definitely agree with your old strategy of only buying clothes in a limited color range! I have a lot of black and grey, and I try to get green (including turquoise and sea green) as well as red, burgundy and pink garments and accessories to add color. And it’s become so easy to put outfits together. Plus I can go ahead and buy something random (like this shirtdress I got this summer: http://www.madepeachy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013… ) and know that I have a lot of neutral stuff to wear with it.
Sending you some serious size 20 love from Houston here. “online fat-chick window shopping” is my long standing lunch date. I too have bought from Eshakti but they just dont lay down right or something. I eventually wound up reworking the pieces. Luckily, I can do some basic sewing and one of my pieces even showed up on New Dress a Day: http://www.newdressaday.com/2013/09/29/mandys-nda…
It seems like my best pieces came from ebay/thrift stores.
I went as Sexy Ruth Bader-Ginsburg (aka, regular Ruth Bader-Ginsburg) to a Halloween party this past weekend and people went nuts for it.
A friend of mine wore a Notorious RBG shirt for law school orientation and the people who got it now worship her.
…I may have just re-imagined all my Halloween plans. What did you wear? A robe? A shining gavel of justice?
I wore a robe open over a cute black dress, fashioned a cravat out of some white lace I had lying about, bought large, mumsy button earrings from target, and knocked the lenses out of some cheap sunglasses. Tied my hair back in a bun, and finished the whole thing off with fishnets and heels, and borrowed a friend’s gavel. Several people at the party got it without even asking! I also carried around a solo cup with “The Notorious R.B.G.” sharpied on it.
That sounds WONDERFUL. For some reason the earrings detail is really killing me. Definitely not something I could pull off before the party I’m going to tomorrow, but mad respect for an excellent costume!
entering month three of funemployment is a sad, sad time for all of these gorgeous clothes BUT i have decided to make an exception and treat myself to new boots – does anyone else have good, actually-wide calf boot suggestions? i am v. short and fat and somehow my calves are too large for any boot known to man? but they’re always so pretty and i want some!
I have a friend that swears by Duo Boots for people with wide calves. I understand that the boots are a bit pricey, but she has had hers for several years and they are holding up well.
After years of searching I found some black Fitzwells last year, but they are gone now. They are not exactly sleek beauties, but I love them dearly because they fit! Now I’m searching for brown ones, because I like to torture myself. So I too would like some boot suggestions. My calves are 17 1/2 inches, so none of this Frye nonsense will work.
I’ve heard mixed but positive things about Duo Boots (good in that they are wide, bad in that they don’t fit perfectly and for that prize they shouldn’t slide down your leg) and The Bootmakers (bespoke boots), but I’m trying to be thriftier than that.
Naturalizer has good wide-calf boots!
Yes, this is relevant to my interests as well.
They are not genuine leather, but I buy my boots from Avenue.com because they fit my calves, give good measurements, and always have some super cute detailing on them that is missing from most wide calf boots. Also, you can double up on coupons with them, so definitely google coupon codes before you buy–I try to spend about $35 per pair and not the $84 sticker price.
Toastresses (?), I love this, but is there any chance we could have a sister column for those of us who are less femme-y? The Frugal Tomboy?
You only get ONE recurring plus-size queer-authored fashion column per website, BE REASONABLE, but I’m sure Lindsay will be open to incorporating more butch-y stuff from time to time. Tomboys, feel free to tell us where you like to get your duds.
H&M mens section!
Yo, thank you for pointing this out! I am obviously a femme-of-center individual but I promise to be better about including androgynous/masculine/less-pink options in the future.
I mean I love pink. But yeah, thanks!
yeah! mens sections can actually be a great place to find bigger clothes in straight size stores. Sometimes the sleeves are too long but you can roll em up!
Canadian Toasties: where you do you buy plus-size clothes online that don’t cost your firstborn to ship? I’ve bought some Modcloth stuff that I love and the shipping is reasonable upfront, but then I get hit with crazy customs costs.
Asos! Shipping is free worldwide. They have a Curve collection, and very frequent sales. I’d check wtfplus.tumblr.com for sizing, though – she mentioned in the past that the sizing is more than generous.
not a plussie (is that a term?), but dress911 is a canadian site and their plus-size section is really cute? idk if anyone who’s ordered from them can attest to how good their stuff is/how low shipping is, but!
I gave up on “cute” and now basically wear a uniform of black pants/v neck sweater or black pants/camisole/open front cardigan wherever I go. I’ve never had good luck with clothes. I go for presentable.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. AQC is writing a fashion column. For fat and broke ladies. On THE TOAST?!?! It’s like all of my dreams are coming true all at once! I don’t know how to handle this…
My sister came to visit me in NY last week, and really wanted to go shopping. And it was then that I realized how terrible the options for fat girls are, even in a giant city like New York. I have long been ordering the majority of my clothes on-line, but I yearn to try on clothes and see how they fit before purchasing them. We have department stores like everyone else, but I want some boutiques, and vintage shops, and cool places to spend my money (but not TOO much money). Why doesn’t this exist?? We walked into several “straight size” stores, and it was ridiculous. The salespeople looked at us like, “We don’t serve your kind here.” This makes me ANGRYYYY.
Isn’t it awful? I’m really frustrated with a friend of mine right now, who is entirely failing to get the distinction between having to try on lots of pairs of jeans to find flattering ones (which is frustrating & I’m not saying it’s not) and literally walking by cute store after cute store and thinking there’s not even any point in going in, because even if they sell fun accessories, I don’t really want to give my business to somewhere that refuses to acknowledge that I’m allowed to, you know, be a person who wears clothes.
I get so mad about that, possibly irrationally so. But there is a vast difference between “cannot find clothes that fit in the way I desire” and “clothes that will actually cover my body.” Acting like it’s the same thing when there are malls with literally two stores out of dozens that will even sell me a thing that fits around the circumference of my ass is just so incredibly irritating.
Because they are NOT THE SAME. And it’s not like, once I finally find a store with plus-size stuff that isn’t hideous, it all magically fits me. I still have to try on just as much stuff (if not possibly more, see above re: how boobs work) to find things that fit how I want them to.
It is a form of discrimination, really. And it sucks to be on the receiving end of that discrimination. I think having on-line options where none existed before pacified me for awhile. But nothing beats trying on clothes before buying in my book. The fashion industry is going to have to give in and cater to fat people at some point. They just will. Having Forever 21 add plus sizes (though I’m not a fan, and even their “plus sizes” are not very generous) is the first step towards this, I hope.
Online shopping is the reason I’m not just wearing mens’ jeans and unisex XL tshirts all the time, for sure. But even with free returns (which more and more places are doing, hurray), you still have to have extra money on hand to get different options.
Okay, fans of Sock Dreams and tights and leggings, is there such a thing as tights that aren’t, well, tight? I have this thing lately where certain kinds of pressure on my legs or upper arms–like scratching an itch or pulling on tights–feels like a deep bruising attack. (Also, has this happened to anyone else?) I am a tall-ish between-sized person, but I often find that even some of the plus-sized tights at Sock Dreams run a little short or overstretched on me. (example culprit: Foot Traffic signature cotton tights.) So I went out and bought some very soft 2X footless tights at Kmart because they seemed to have a lot of give, but they had a panty-hose-like top and pulling them on felt like it would turn my thigh black and blue. Must I resign myself to a winter of pants?
A lot of plus-size tights and panty hose automatically have control-top areas in the waist and upper thighs and it’s fucking PAINFUL. They are harder to put on, and harder to wear, and super uncomfortable. So personally, I’d double check that you aren’t accidentally buying control top items. I know that sounds incredibly obvious, but I have really sensitive skin, and control top stuff really chafes me and can leave a rash that lasts for DAYS, so I ALWAYS look out for it.
The tights from We Love Colors do not have a control-top top, just a waistband – and they go pretty big at the biggest sizes. I would also recommend checking plus-size stores for their tight options – I just looked at Avenue and while their “basic microfiber tight” now has a “light control top” for reasons beyond my comprehension, the other ones just list the waistband.
I feel like I must have done We Love Colors wrong, because I ordered two pair of tights from them last year and I found them so thin and flimsy. They both got holes pretty instantly. Which tights from there are the best?
In plus size, just the regular nylon/lycra ones, honestly! I do treat them carefully, but I’ve had them hold up pretty well. I’ve heard the straight size all-nylon ones aren’t as good, though. But yeah, they are not the hardest-wearing or sturdiest tights I own.
I think the We Loves Colors is pretty good for that, but honestly? Ask the folks at SockDreams. They are SO good about answering emails and giving you ideas and (if you’re comfy with it) take the measurements of yourself you email them and go through what they think will work for you. Seriously, so good.
As for the deep, bruising attack, I don’t know what it is, but I would recommend seeing a doctor if that’s possible. I know that I have some Fibro suffering friends and at least one of them had described a similar sensation during one of her attacks.
What are everyone’s Halloween costume plans? My love of hearing about people’s costumes is second only to my love of dressing up, and I’m sure people here have excellent costumes in the works!
I’m planning on dressing up as No Face from Spirited Away, because I just want to swaddle myself in blankets and wear a creepy mask. I may be too lazy to get even that together though (I have no black drapery), so I might just go as terrifying old-timey scarecrow, because I most definitely own flannel.
I’m super lazy, so I’m going to wear an eShakti shirtdress, shove a pillow underneath it, and stand barefoot in the kitchen at a halloween party so I can be a Republican dream girl: barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
Maximum terror (to very non-baby-oriented me), minimum effort. I like it.
No-Face sounds like a great costume!
I’m considering reprising lazy Ursula the Sea Witch (tentacle socks, black and purple clothes, a shit-ton of teal eyeliner).
I bought a t-shirt dress that’s the Star Trek: TOS mini-dress style, and a TOS phaser, which I’m going to pair with black leggings if I can find any that will fit me (good legging suggestions, anyone? I’m size 12ish on a good day) and knee high black heeled boots. I’m wearing leggings rather than tights because this is a work costume.
I decided to let me geek flag fly this year – none of the other managers understand me anyway, so why worry?
I salute your geekery! I wish I could introduce you to my friends – they’re going ALL OUT this year with their Star Trek costumes. He’s been sculpting a Klingon headpiece all month; I’m terrible and forget what she’s being but I know she’s making some type of phaser for it. You guys could take your workplace by storm.
No Face! So perfect. I should do that next year.
I’m going to be Indiana Jones, as it was a sweet excuse to buy myself some new boots, skinny khaki-ish color jeans, and a canvas shirt. I also got an $8 Indiana Jones kit on Amazon that included a too-big hat (gonna wear it anyway, will just look like a four year old) and a whip. STOMPIN BOOTS. WHIP. BRING IT, HALLOWEEN.
Halloween is mainly an excuse for me to get all glittered and glam in a way I don’t often do at other times, so I literally base my costumes every year around a sparkly item I own or found in a thrift store. Black tutu? Black swan. Shimmery blue-green sheath? Mermaid. Va-va-voom pink dress? Joan Holloway.
This year I am going as a fairytale eggplant, partly inspired by Ann Perkins’ eggplant costume in P&R, but also because I am a grownass woman who wants to wear a purple dress and (get it?) fairy wings.
No Face sounds awesome!
I’m aiming for Pat Benatar, a la Love is a Battlefield video. I’m afraid no one will recognize me (and then I’ll just be generic 80s), and when I told someone my plan recently, they said, ‘Who?’. Also, i don’t have bangs, so i’m trying to figure out how to compensate.
I’m going to be Mister Rogers! I got a fluffy blue cardigan and a couple of 80s-era ties from Goodwill and bought a tiger puppet on Amazon. I’m not super thrilled with the puppet, because Daniel Striped Tiger looked really unique, and nobody makes a good replica. 🙁
I want to like eShakti but too much of their stuff lacks sleeves and I find it frustratingly difficult to find cardigans that aren’t, like, massive smocks or blankets with slits for arms or whatever in plus sizes. Also: it’s super hard to find tights, especially cabled or sweater tights, when one hits a certain weight.
So I just wear jeans a lot.
One of my favorite online second hand stores (liketwice.com) just started carrying a larger inventory of size 16 and up clothes.
AHH! So sad those pink jeans aren’t available in my size! Though I did I just buy ALL THE PLAID THINGS from Forever 21 (tis the season), plus a little risqué (for moi) tank that says Oh La La and has lacing up the sides. Yay for fatshion on the Toast!
Too busy to read today, but OMG SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS COLUMN.
Also, I shall be Ursula for Halloween. There will be pictures on my tumblr. I’ve had it all planned out since Sandy cancelled my last Halloween. (If by some crapshoot, you’re going to be at WIFS’s Hallowmas in brooklyn this Halloween, you will see me! You should say hi.)
OMG someone else has issues with eShakti. I feel like a traitor to fat lady fashion for admitting that.
I had to send back everything I ordered from them the first time. The one I kept was my second order and it still feels weird, even though I ended up wearing it for the occasion I bought it.
As soon as I read the line “a really good vest with no button gap” I knew this column could see into my soul. I’m super looking forward to regular installments of it! As a femme fashionable plus-sized lady I have despaired recently of having enough money to ever look quite as good as I want to (for instance, I would buy those boots linked to in an INSTANT if I had $200 dollars lying around but alas that is the problem with boots).
Also, all these comments have made me aware of several sites I didn’t know of previously, which is wonderful. Great first column, and I’m excited to read more of it.
I'm going to be Mister Rogers! I got a fluffy blue cardigan and a couple of 80s-era ties from Goodwill and bought a tiger puppet on Amazon. I'm not super thrilled with the puppet, because Daniel Striped Tiger looked really unique, and nobody makes a good replica. 🙁
I’m going as Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect for Halloween because I have a professional skirt, a blazer, and can fashion a neckerchief. Thank the Good Lord that Rebel Wilson stole that entire movie.
I am begging you: PLEASE WRITE ABOUT FAT GIRL CHEAP BRAS PLEASSEEEE.
Dude, the best place for that kind of thing is upscale-ish outlet stores — have a Nordstrom Rack or Off 5th or even a Marshall’s or TJMaxx nearby? Do not eschew these places! Dig deep on those bra racks, and there’s plenty of extended sizes to be found.
I’ve found cacique to be pretty good for that!
but wait! that dress is $100? how is that frugal?
As a fellow fat teacher I feel this post so much. I went shopping yesterday at Forever 21, which usually gives me some good staples, and I was just totally disappointed. I’m at that age where Lane Bryant and Dress Barn feel too mature, but Forever 21 is becoming too immature and cheaply made for me to wear to work, and so I’m sort of stuck, and online fills the gap (god bless ASOS Curve and Modcloth) but some days I just want to walk into a store and go shopping like any other person, and not having that privilege just feels like a blow.
funny story I accidentally posted this comment from my grandmother’s wordpress account because i made her a blog using my computer…
anyway, repost of my comment from before under my proper account!
As a fellow fat teacher I feel this post so much. I went shopping yesterday at Forever 21, which usually gives me some good staples, and I was just totally disappointed. I’m at that age where Lane Bryant and Dress Barn feel too mature, but Forever 21 is becoming too immature and cheaply made for me to wear to work, and so I’m sort of stuck, and online fills the gap (god bless ASOS Curve and Modcloth) but some days I just want to walk into a store and go shopping like any other person, and not having that privilege just feels like a blow.
A barrel of peanut butter pretzels, eh? I see you also shop at Target.
Oh also! Another great resource for gals who love colorful tights and leggings and leotards, etc, welovecolors.com has a wonderful selection that’s not too expensive and the tights last me a whole winter for the most part.
SimplyBe has good stuff for the busty among us, and they also enjoy making it rain coupons.