I was finishing beauty school right around the same time Sex and the City was ending. I looooved Sex and the City back then. I used to watch it more or less every day. I was 21 years old, I had no friends, and their relationships seemed like a dream–just four women trading quippy quips about shoes or whatever all day long.
Even as a considerably less intelligent 21-year-old, I always knew there were terrible, shallow, ethnocentric elements to the show. I hadn’t even learned the word ‘heteronormative’ yet but I knew the characters were way too obsessed with it. Pretty much everyone I know has since publicly renounced the show, but we still talk about it all the time. I’ve resigned myself to a life of comparative think pieces.
When Sex and the City reached a milestone anniversary a few weeks ago, I, along with some friends, decided to re-watch “just a few” episodes. You know, for nostalgia’s sake. Somehow the show managed to be simultaneously better and worse than I remembered it. There’s some really wonderful, funny, sad, smart stuff there!.I don’t think we were all brainwashed into loving this show; it wormed its way into our hearts and conversations naturally. But then there’s also some weird, horrible stuff–really casual transphobia and homophobia, a narrow-minded obsession with the pursuit of monogamy, and an obsession with white Upper East Side socialites and wealth that’s just bizarre.
Re-watching the show did remind me of the reason I loved it as a fledgling makeup artist: while the show itself might no longer be my ideal of entertainment, it nonetheless displayed what I still consider to be the best use of makeup in the history of television. Seriously, go back and watch a few episodes of the sixth season just for Carrie Bradshaw’s unbelievably perfect blush game. She might be an annoying, narcissistic nightmare, but damn if she didn’t have the best baby-pink flush of all time.
I spent tons of time studying the cast’s faces, reading articles about the SATC makeup to get tips and tricks. I think the actual blush used was NARS Desire, but Tarte Cheek Stain was often invoked as a good alternative. But here’s what no article would ever point out, and what I only knew from beauty school: it wasn’t really the blush. It was the lighting.
“Good lighting” is kind of a cliché; shorthand for a prima donna who doesn’t like the way she really looks. Someone who knows what lighting they look best in is one rundown mansion away from Sunset Boulevard. But so much of what we consider to be integral to conventional attractiveness is nothing more than the lighting it appears in. Really excellent makeup, like the kind on Sex and the City, works with lighting to trick the eye into thinking that your cheekbones are naturally that defined and not the result of a designer cosmetic product.
Have you ever struggled to grasp some concept, and only done so when you learned about its opposite? I feel like that used to happen all the time in my high school math classes. Well, this particular lighting-related epiphany happened not in any of my actual beauty makeup courses, where we learned how to cover under-eye bags or conceal pimples. The light-bulb moment happened in a character makeup course.
Character makeup is kind of like diet special effects–we learned the things you would have seen in Grey’s Anatomy, bullet holes and stitches and sunburns and such, but not real special effects (the type of makeup you see in The Thing or whatever). It’s called character makeup because it’s like visual character development. The teacher would go around the room and give each of us a character, like: “Your model is a rookie cop who has just been shot for the first time, and he’s very tired because he was out all night chasing felons,” and then you would have a set amount of time to complete the look.
So I had just applied a really nice bullet wound to my friend’s arm and was working on his under-eye bags because the teacher had specified that he was tired. I was doing it all wrong–just smearing a dark beige eyeshadow totally willy-nilly–and the teacher came over to correct me. “Exhaustion isn’t just dark circles under the eyes,” the teacher explained, “it presents itself as a completely sunken eye socket. The darkness occurs in the corners of the eyes, where the under-eye skin meets the nose, and often includes broken blood vessels on the eyelid. That’s exhaustion.”
That’s how I learned to cover up dark circles–it has nothing to do with the actual dark circle or bags that appear under the eyes. It has everything to do with the appearance of darkness, broken blood vessels, and sunken eye sockets. You need to work with elements of lightness to counter this appearance, NOT cover it with a cream that matches your skin tone.
A basic rule of makeup application is “light colors enhance, dark colors recede.” That’s why a basic eye shadow is a light colour on the eyelid and a dark colour blended into the fold–it gives the appearance of the eye moving forward, which we subconsciously associate with alertness, wakefulness, and general healthiness-type-stuff. To really look like we haven’t been out all night drinking tequila and dancing to Sonic Youth in a park, not that any of us do that (*shifty eyed emojis*), you need to recede and enhance your entire eye area in all the right places. This means a highlighter on your cheekbones, highlighter on your brow bone, highlighter on the inner corners of your eyes, concealer or a light neutral color painted on your eyelids, and, if you want to go really crazy, a concealer pencil on the inside lower rim of your eyes to remove redness.
When you watch a TV show like Sex and the City and marvel at the skin of the actresses, you’re really marveling at the absence of shadows. I really do think lighting is the single most underrated element of the film industry, and that’s saying a lot considering what kind of macho bullshit I had to put up with as a young makeup artist on film sets. It’s one of those things where the mark of an excellent job is complete invisibility; you never see a movie and think, “Wow, they’ve really done an incredible job blowing out the right side of her face while keeping the sunlight looking natural;” you think, “Oh, what a pretty girl.”
If you work as a makeup artist in film or television, there is no Photoshop that will save you if an actor has a pimple. The lighting technicians are the film version of Photoshop. A pimple is a 3D element and a movie screen is a gazillion feet tall; you can’t just slap some cover-up on it and hope no one notices. The lighting technician lights the set so that the actors’ skin is free from shadows. No shadows mean no visible depth between pimple and skin surface, which means no visible pimple. They are magicians and I salute each and every one of them forever.
Have you ever seen street-style photos of celebrities leaving like, the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? Is that still a thing? My pop culture references basically peaked at Mischa Barton on Perez Hilton circa 2006. ANYWAY. You know how there are always photos of celebrities leaving the gym, or the coffee shop, and they always look great and flawless and you’re just like, damn? Yeah. That’s lighting. Some of that is genetics, sure, but 98% of the time it’s because that photograph was taken in California and there are no clouds in California which means there are no shadows in California which means people look freakishly healthy and awake all the damn time.
Combine that with a suntan and a dedicated makeup artist, and you have Jessica Alba. When Us Weekly does their “celebrities without makeup” bullshit, the bad photos are almost always taken in New York and the good photos are almost always taken in California. This is a scientific fact, probably.
So should we all move to California? No. Los Angeles is seriously the worst place on Earth [Ed. note–Cheap shots at Los Angeles’ expense don’t make anyone look bad but you]. But what we can do is practice a few basic principles to trick everyone who looks in our general direction into thinking we’re good-looking, just like God intended.
1. Skin care.
An article about how all skin-care products are bullshit is forthcoming, because they are. But nothing says “health and beauty” like clear skin, because patriarchy. Do what you can to keep your skin even, free of redness, and without too many bumps or pimples. Or don’t! Whatever! Fuck the Man!
If you do decide to go the clear-skin route, I recommend tinted moisturizer applied with a brush–Laura Mercier is the best, hands down, but I also bought some Maybelline BB cream on sale, and it’s nice too. A clean, even-toned canvas says, “I always get nine hours of sleep bathed in the blood of virgins.” And you want that.
The surface of your face should be smooth, but not without some contrasts. That brings me to the next point:
2. Shading.
Shading is another thing that evokes primadonnas and old-school black-and-white actresses. I don’t mean using two different foundation colours to change the shape of your nose–I mean enhancing your bone structure to give the appearance of higher cheekbones and brow bones and nicely defined cheekbones. You want a bronzer applied to the hollow part of your cheeks, a blush applied directly to the apple of your cheeks and blended with a brush upwards towards your eyebrows, and a highlighter.
Highlighter is where you’re doing movie makeup magic. The highlighter goes parallel to the blush and cheekbone; have you all watched Jane’s videos on the Hairpin? Then you know what I’m talking about. Dab the product on the highest part of your cheekbones, making sure that it overlaps with the sunken area underneath your eyes. Blend the shit out of it. Apply it underneath your eyebrows, too, and then groom those fuckers.
3. Color
You want some. In your face.
Sometimes when I tell people I used to be a makeup artist they do that thing, like, “YOU used to be a makeup artist?” and then try to backpedal to downplay how shocked they are. That’s because I don’t use makeup the way I think they expect a makeup artist to use it; most of the time people are genuinely surprised to find out I’m wearing any makeup at all, which is just the way I like it.
As a makeup student, I spent a lot of time in other student’s chairs; we would pair up and practice looks on each other. I got used to seeing what my face looks like with perfect, movie-star-red-carpet-level makeup, and let me tell you, it looks weird as fuck. There are lots of people out there who have the bone structure to support an artificially produced, unnaturally even complexion (I’m mostly thinking of Kim Kardashian) but I am not one of them.
Most faces need a little bit of shadows and redness or you start slipping into that uncanny valley of “not right.” Your eyes know it, but they might not read it as too much makeup, the way that flakiness or dullness immediately distinguishes themselves as bad foundation. On an average day, we expect human skin to look a little weird, and I would rather deal with a little redness than look fake. Plus, it takes a long time and I’m quite lazy!
Anyway, that’s what the blush is for, because if you just had bronzer hollowing out the cheeks and highlighter on top of the cheekbones you’d look weird, probably. Or not. I don’t know! Just do you.
So, what have we learned? Skin care is bullshit, check; makeup is bullshit, check; no one has good skin, it’s all an optical illusion, check, Sex and the City is bullshit, check. Should we watch another episode real quick?
Tags: beauty, contouring, everything is bullshit, it’s a terrible show though, makeup, no one has good skin, sex and the city, WORN
I love this! I’m a little obsessed with makeup!
But there are clouds in California, in this little overcast city called San Francisco where we have the complexions of Bostonians in February.
The fog always provides us with gentle, diffused lighting. Also, dewy complexions. (And really “interesting” hair, sigh.)
I have really, really interesting hair. In Boston I was like LALALLAA I HAVE GREAT HAIR and now I’m like “um this shit can air dry with some detangler in it because fuck if I’m going to do my hair and then walk around in visible fog.”
Also someone please help me, I have not been able to figure out how to make my hair or skin look okay without the humidity of the east coast. What do you do here? Why is my hair both flat AND frizzy AND curly AND not able to hold a curl?
Hairspray and bobby pins. Every once in a while I make a renewed effort to make my curly/wavy/frizzy/but sometimes flat hair play nice, but it never lasts long, and then I just pin it all up in a mess with some bobby pins.
My hair and skin were never happier than the time I spent in San Francisco. So, if you’re mostly oily and pale and have flat, straight hair, you will be the prettiest!
Dry skin. 🙁 Dry skin, very pale, flat hair (I don’t like it) that frizzes around my face… yeah…
I still own all the seasons, though I haven’t watched them in a looong time. Isn’t season 6 the season Carrie was wearing way too MUCH blush though? Maybe that was 5.
Gah, nothing tells me I don’t know makeup like reading a column where I can’t understand half of what is said. I should probably work on that sometime.
Yeah. I’m 30. At no time in my life has my mother worn makeup (though I think she did before I was born) and my half-sister moved away before I was old enough to seek help from her. I just straight don’t wear any because I have NO idea what I’m doing and don’t want to look ridiculous, but I also wouldn’t mind looking a little more put together.
I definitely have the full series box set of this show. It’s been ages since I watched it, though. I came to makeup pretty late — I’m nearing 30 and I only just got out of my “I’m a poor grad student, I wear glasses and air-dry my hair and dress in the same clothes I’ve owned for 10 years” mode a few years ago. Which was admittedly really comfortable and easy, but these days I’m enjoying playing with makeup and seeing what looks good and so on.
are you in my bedroom right now?
This is really cool and interesting, even though I have decided, in my 32nd year, that I am not a Woman Who Wears Makeup, and I’m no longer going to try to be. I will be empowered in my wan blotchiness.
oh god i’ve been doing bronzer all wrong
How is it than in my maniacal pursuit of foundations, BB creams, concealer, etc, that no one has ever mentioned the concept of lighting?? Forget Photoshop, everyone knows about that. But lighting. Damn.
I really enjoyed this!
Also I dont really wear much make up as it always sits weird on my face and I dont look like im wearing makeup, I just look like ive smeared colours on my face. I think i need to stand in more good lighting.
Everything I know about contouring I learned from S. Pebbletush (nee Elizabeth). I have never seen any of SATC. I have seen the first movie though, for some reason.
I am a little obsessed with both bronzer and a good red lippie. <3
Hi, you seem like the person to ask this to then! Bronzer. I am putting on my cheekbones, forehead, etc. (“where the sun naturally hits you”). Am I an idiot?
I like to use (matte, no shimmer, not-orange-tinted) bronzer to contour — hollows of cheeks, a bit around my temples, and a light dusting on my neck. Bronzer is darker than my skin — dark falls away, light pulls forward — so it’s basically like a shadow. My cheekbones don’t normally create a shadow on my face, but they can with bronzer!
I don’t use it to look tan because I am not tan. I live in San Francisco and I moved from Boston, I am a pasty person — if the sun isn’t hitting me at all and the rest of me is the color of a plain lasagna noodle, there’s no way I’m faking it with bronzer. The sun isn’t hitting me… ever. So no, I don’t put bronzer on my forehead or cheekbones.
Oh, thank you! That makes so much more sense.
Can I ask you a question too? I want to wear lipstick sooo badly, but I seem to have perma dry lips. The don’t look or feel at all dry until I grab my lipstick and then with one swipe they become these flakey dry chunky monsters that I don’t even understand. I scrub them every night and morning gently with a baby toothbrush and I wear those birthday gift Sugar chapsticks from Sephora or Aquafore AND I drink all of the water in the entire world. And they never feel chapped? What’s wrong with me? (thank you internet stranger)
You can get a product at Sephora that’s basically a lip exfoliator (ask for a sample) and those work really well. My mom will use an electric toothbrush on her lips with moisturizer (she has a separate head for this purpose) but I think that’s overkill.
Consider some chapstick before you put on the lipstick and also, get a good lipstick. I have some random Revlon stuff that I try to wear sometimes and it looks horrible on my lips because it just sits on top of them and draws attention to all the little bumps and dry bits. Ugh, no thank you. Go to Sephora, ask for the most hydrating lipsticks they carry, and try a few on.
I like Nars lipsticks in the more sheer formulas and Chanel because your lips can look like shit and it will still look good. No seriously, your lips can be torn apart, flaking off, peeling, etc and Chanel lipstick will look fine. I hate YSL rouge volupte lipstick with a hot fiery passion because it seriously just sits on top of your lips and never rubs in and UGH no.
You are amazing. I’d been trying the same two MAC lipsticks forever with no luck, and a recent brush with Lip Tar left me scrubbing lip colour off at my desk with my bare hands. I really appreciate this!
Yay! So I looked up which Chanel formula I like when my lips are really dry and gross, and it’s Chanel Aqualumiere Sheer Color Lipshine, SPF 15. It feels really smooth and does what I like it to do. It hides dryness and the color stays nicely.
So I think the key to good lipstick that feels good is the balance between “this product is pigmented goo that sits on my face” and “this product is basically going to tattoo my lips a color for 4 hours.” The amount that the color and product stick/penetrate is important to me just in terms of how it feels.
The YSL stuff that I hate feels weird because it stays too slippery and you can tell that the lips aren’t that color under the lipstick, not because it’s sheer but because the product doesn’t adhere and penetrate the way I want my lipstick to. But on the other hand, Lip Tar sounds terrifying because I really hate when lipstick acts like a pencil — no glossiness, just pigment, kind of dry, meh. I don’t want to tattoo my lips into a different color, I just want lipstick!
I’m sure the lovely lady who wrote this piece is reading my comments like “ugh, fucking amateur hour.” Hi, I went to law school and I like makeup! I like lipstick a lot! Don’t judge me?
Nooo, you are giving me some great advice, and I think that’s rad! You seem to really know your stuff! I would just buy whatever my friends were buying because I’m eleven, apparently. But now I feel like I have a game plan the next time I go to Sephora.
I want a pigmented lipstick without too much gloss, the two I’m been trying to make work are just regular MAC lipsticks, in nude and light pink. I’m just so confused as to why my lips only look or feel chapped when I reach for lipstick – I put on chapstick about 100 times a day. I thought the Lip Tar, which is a gloss that dries to a lipstick – would help, but it’s like someone else’s lips. Bodies! They are so weird!
Sephora doesn’t carry Chanel (except perfume), but a department store will have it. Good luck!
Can you please teach me how to do the “but you’re not wearing any makeup?” look for my wedding, because I got my makeup done by a “pro” last week and omg I looked like a Sex Robot and it was not good.
This is my favourite make-up artist and she has tons of really great videos. I went to makeup school too – before the internet and I wish I had these to refer to in school.
Look at her videos, you guys. http://www.lisaeldridge.com/video/
Jaya, she will teach you how to do the no-makeup look, but also many other pretty looks that might be bridal-appropriate.
http://www.lisaeldridge.com/video/
I would say use good products, (especially foundation, Makeup Forever HD is delightful, have the ladies at Sephora match the color for you), make sure your skin is moisturized, and do what Jane does in her “glowy face” tutorial linked above, but with a very light hand.
This is funny, because I just watched the first episode of the first season for the first time in over ten years. And man does Carrie look ROUGH. I was just thinking that it was, at least in part, 90s makeup trends. Specifically that kind of matte/pearly mauve lipstick and bad foundation? The Carrie of season 1 and the Carrie of season 6 are like alien cousins.
In fact, the first season is a perfect example of learning the opposite thing in order to really understand the thing you want to understand. Or however the author said it above. Everyone looks like they were made up with Crayola crayons.
I forgot to go to sleep at all last night, so please forgive me if I am being dense, but two things confused me. First, the line about think pieces. This did not strike me as a SITC comparative think piece at all. It struck me as an informative makeup tutorial, written with an engaging voice. I am glad it was not a comparative think piece. Or…?
Also, I thought everybody mentions the lighting in film, and of celebrities in photos, etc., pretty much all the time. In fact, I think film lighting is talked about, in relation to beauty, more often than film makeup is talked about. But I have never heard or thought about the no-shadows, NY/CA thing. That is hilarious.
I thought everyone looked better in LA because they got more sun, exercise, and plastic surgery. But now I want to go to a magazine store and look at all the terrible and wonderful celebrity candids.
I think with regard to the lighting, very few people look at a movie in which a pretty lady walks down the street and thinks “WOW! The lighting guy really knows his shit!” before they think “that lady is pretty!”
“There are lots of people out there who have the bone structure to support an artificially produced, unnaturally even complexion but I am not one of them.” This! I said something like this to a makeup artist one time and he didn’t listen to me. I just think I look weird with a full face on – now I can blame my bone structure and sound like I know what I’m talking about!
I used to only do mascara, but my skin, after 34 years in the world, has decided to freak the hell out, with pimples all over my cheeks. My doc says it is rosacea so I guess it is but the medicine he gave me isn’t really working. Anyone have any magic skin makeup tips, other than standing in bright sunshine all the time?
Alright, I’m the person who wears makeup every single time I leave the house, even if it’s just going to the grocery store, even if I’m just driving around in the car with my mom. I’m totally insecure about myself when I don’t wear it. BUT I recently made a very big step, which should hopefully save me mad $$ and time, and that is: BB cream. I don’t have a very even skin tone and get acne, but at least for going out of the house without purpose it’s light enough to feel like I’m not wearing much makeup but gives enough coverage to make me not feel gross. For dates though or going out for dinner I would still for sure pile on the usual 5 products or whatever.
All this to say: hell yeah, Makeup!! … & go to hell, Makeup! simultaneously. Great tips, thanks.
BB Cream = what I put on when I’m going to the office and will not see anyone at all because my boss is out of town, but I need to feel made up because for seriously, I’m at the office. I’m not going to bare-face it while wearing a pencil skirt.
Makeup is the best! I’m a full-face lady every day, all day. But I’ve also downgraded in the past few years to BB cream and/or a light mineral foundation. But the liquid liner, mascara, and eyebrow pencil are non-negotiable. I can’t really be bothered about whether it looks unnatural or something–wear it for long enough and it’s Just My Face, you know?
ok, wtf is BB cream?
“Beauty Balm” but here is the real scoop: a beautiful crazy genius decided to put moisturizer, primer, SPF, and some color into a nice creamy goop. It goes on like tinted moisturizer and is everything you need.*
The appeal is that a lot of women don’t want full coverage foundation, but even with a sheer formula, you need to pile a bunch of stuff on your face before the product, like moisturizer, primer, sunscreen if it’s not in the moisturizer, etc. And then when you put foundation on, sometimes you have to set it with powder. The process is ridiculous for the amount of coverage that you’re aiming for, which is “just make me look like I didn’t just roll out of bed.” You have everything you need in one goop and because it has primer in it, it stays better than plain tinted moisturizer.
*You need more moisturizer than what it really provides, but it’s still pretty good.
I am very new to the wonder that is BB cream and I just picked up a cheap Garnier one because I wasn’t sure that I would actually use it. Sadly I noticed this morning that it doesn’t have spf, ughhhh. Could you recommend a brand that works for you?
I’m also curious to hear about this! I
I just learned about the BB and CC creams (okay, I tried to learn about them, but still don’t really get it), but I did just buy Clinique’s BB with spf and I really like it. Previous foundations felt so thick and cakey and always left me thinking, “um, is it really a good idea to smear this stuff on my face?”. So, as a bookish lady in her mid-thirties who will never understand contouring, I really like this light, good for your skin(?) cream.
hmm thank you! might have to look into it.
Hah, I had a makeup artist in Las Vegas tell me “well honey, you can carry A Lot of Look” as she applied a second set of fake lashes. My makeup idol is Adele, if that gives you any idea.
However, ever since I got a handle on my hormonal cystic acne (Tazorac, Sprinolactone, Aczone) I’ve been experimenting with less foundation, or, gasp, no foundation at all. I went out this weekend with some spf, a little cream blush, and a bright lip color and I survived.
I am trying to find the middle ground between ALL the makeup and NO makeup.
Ok, so I LOVE beauty posts and SATC (i mean, it’s not perfect but i can forgive it’s shortcomings because it’s quite great/entertaining at times).
Keep beauty posts coming. I started to really miss the beauty posts over at THP when Jane stopped posting them…
This was great! Almost science-y, but not at all in a way that made me sleepy.
Yay, this! The woman teaching my stage makeup class in undergrad was way into the natural variations in skin tone. This meant lots of stippling. And I agree that learning how to ugly someone up helped immensely in figuring out what worked to pretty up my own face. I can still make pretty awesome bruises, too.
The problem for me is that even though I like makeup, own makeup, think I look nice with makeup on, and work in a fancy pants place where I should probably wear makeup, I completely forget to put makeup on. Like, most days I get on the bus and I’m like “oh yeah, makeup, oh well too late now.” I think going bare-faced for nearly 30 years has just programmed me to forget about makeup during the morning routine.
I love this! Great way to approach makeup without buying into the makeup marketing machine.
I love this! Great way to approach makeup without buying into the makeup marketing machine.