“A male University of Toronto student filed a claim with the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal accusing his Women and Gender Studies professor of discriminating against him when she failed him for never having attended the course.
Wongene Daniel Kim claims that Professor Sarah Trimble’s course was the only one that would fit in his schedule, but when he arrived on the first day, he discovered he was the only male in the class.
‘I felt anxiety,’ Kim told The Toronto Star. ‘I didn’t expect it would be all women and it was a small classroom and about 40 women were sort of sitting in a semicircle and the thought of spending two hours every week sitting there for the next four months was overwhelming.’”
***
They play in the Meadow. The boy with dark curls and sad eyes, struggling to keep up on his chubby toddler legs. It took five, ten, fifteen years for him to agree. But Peeta wanted them so badly.
Forty women sort of sitting in a semicircle
When he first saw the child, he was consumed with a terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding him in his arms could tame it. Carrying him was a little easier, but not much. The questions were just beginning.
The desks had been completely destroyed, the semicircles forbidden. But they teach about them at school, and the boy knows that his father saw them once. How to tell him about that world without frightening thim to death? His child, who takes the words of the song for granted:
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy
eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.
Here it’s safe, here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Women never sit in semicircles;
40 women never sort of sit in semicircles
Peeta tells them it will be okay. They have each other. And the book. They can make them understand in a way that will make them braver. But one day he’ll have to explain about the nightmares. Why they came. Why they won’t ever really go away. The circles, and the semicircles, and the chairs, and the forty women sort of sitting in them.
He’ll tell them how he survived it. He’ll tell them that on bad days, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because he’s afraid he’ll look up and see them — all forty of them — sort of sitting in a semicircle. That’s when he makes a list in his head of every act of goodness he’s ever seen someone do. It’s like a homework assignment. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years.
But there are worse classes to audit.
Tags: nightmares, pretty much the entire epilogue of mockingjay, things that have really happened in real life
Appropriately, Prof. Trimble’s research interests include “British and American representations of apocalypse, considering the “new world” fantasies that shape visions of The End.”
So he’s too shy to sit in a roomful of women but not too shy to file a lawsuit or speak to the Star?
These women must be BADASS.
Are they sword-demonesses? Did they enter the room wreathed in flames? Maybe they are all witches. I would feel concerned about a class full of witches.
The Hall of Sitters in Tar Valon.
My favorite part of the article was:
“Kim claims he was unaware of how poorly he was performing in the class because Professor Trimble handed back assignments during class. “We live in a digital era, why couldn’t she have posted the marks online?” Kim said.”
I…this logic. Oh my god.
WHAT LOGIC
You know, he just wanted the grades of the papers he didn’t turn in to be posted online, so he could find out he was failing in the class he didn’t go to. How else would you find that out?
You can’t be suggesting he…go to her office hours? My God, bastardsnow!! She might be sort of sitting in there!
She might be sort of sitting there, but she wouldn’t be sort of sitting in a semicircle, now, would she?
What if there were more than one woman in the office?!?!?!!!!!
Thumbs up because I have never seen the correct use of the subjunctive paired with so many superfluous exclamation points and question marks.
To be fair, most grades are posted online at U of T. However, it’s not mandatory, and some profs opt not to.
This is the only part of his complaint that has merit. But very much merit.
Agh. That was supposed to be “not very much merit.”
This reminds me of the complaint about one of the classes I taught for last year, that exams were “too fact-based” 🙁 🙁 🙁
This is some nonsense (the linked article, obviously, not Mallory’s amazing extrapolation)…as a dude who took both a ton of comp sci classes and a ton of English classes, my experience was that it was MUCH more fun to be in the classes that were mostly women than the classes which were mostly men.
Weeping, weeping. So beautiful. I have used a hacksaw to open an Axe body spray, and I pour it out upon the ground now for all the sad, outnumbered dudes. I then take the hacksaw to the only man in my vicinity, for that is what women sort of do when faced with a lone wolf in the coven.
Just one dude in a class full of ladies? This was just like my life in library school. It was basically as horrible as this Toronto kid was describing.
Except that it was awesome because they were nerdy and I met my wife there.
Me too: linguistics, literature, media … “Meine Damen und mein Herr” … tough times.
40 Helens agree.
As someone who took a lot of computer science classes where I was the only woman: it does suck sometimes! But you either go to the class, or you drop the class. If you don’t show up and expect to pass, the problem is you. The problem is a million percent you.
This dude really doesn’t qualify but I know several women who have huge, huge problems with universities failing them over debilitating illnesses (mental or physical) keeping them out of class, and that includes severe social anxiety, just in general or related to trauma. Those in women’s studies tend to burn out really quickly – profs and advisors talk a big game about intersectionality but very rarely seem comfortable accommodating the disabled, and it leaves their students jaded. There are only so many independent studies you can take to pursue a degree.
I certainly didn’t mean to include someone with an illness, mental or physical, in my jokey comment, so I apologize for the offense.
Oh, robodino, do not even worry, that was totally clear.
*never worries again*
I think it’s pretty clear that debilitating illnesses and this guy’s situation are two totally different animals.
you either go to the class, or you drop the class.
And in between those options, I can think of a half-dozen intermediate steps I’d take to improve my performance, including:
– speak to the professor directly about my class standing and what steps I could take to improve it
– if my anxiety makes face-to-face interaction with one single professor impossible, communicate clearly by email or even registered letter
– provide the university with medical or psychological confirmation of my specific needs
– discuss my special needs w/ prof in hopes of picking up papers during office hours or from her office box
– participate in online components of the class, no matter how ardently you loathe Blackboard/other forum interfaces, to compensate for
– approach the Students W/Disabilities office or local equivalent to see whether I’m entitled to some accommodations, and to insist upon instituting them.
All my suggestions can be summed up as “do anything other than silently sitting around expecting the world to conform to my needs, then take legal action when it doesn’t.” I can’t, of course, be sure he didn’t pursue any other avenues to bring up his grades or engage in the class, but neither the linked article nor the Star article it refers to describe a single step beyond “don’t go to class, fail class, file complaint.”
Yep! There’s a lot of different options available at most universities, but if you simply stop showing up to a class without explanation, the professor has no obligation to you. My point was assuming that the class *required* that you attend in person, which most don’t, or at least, shouldn’t.
Also, god, who doesn’t hate Blackboard? It always crashed and never quite worked right.
I’ve had plenty of classes in which attendance was mandatory, and especially the 40-women-in-a-circle* seminars: in those cases, often the conversation is the class. But even so, I can imagine a professor and disabilities-accommodation office working with a student to make it doable, but unless the student (or student’s support system) makes the overture for accommodation, typically no one else will.
*Let’s just straight-up call it what he’s implying: A COVEN. All those witchy women sitting arrayed in a semicircle around you, LOOKING. WITH THEIR EYES. It’s like an episode of American Horror Story. THE HORROR. THE HORROR.
Yep, it could be doable, even in a coven-style seminar (can we call it that now?). And some professors are just jerks about attendance (looking at you, poetry professor who said he would add up every single minute we were late and count them as an absence if we got over the amount of time in a class and who said he would only allow one absence in a semester). And as hard as it can be to put the burden on the student or their support system to get these accommodations made, the professor may have no knowledge of the student or of what accommodations they might need. If they know you, they may have suggestions, but otherwise, how are they supposed to know, especially in the case of illnesses, physical or otherwise, that don’t manifest obviously? It’s unfair, but hard to know what else to do. The professors at my university (almost always, I think, if not always) included information about the Learning Support Service office on their syllabuses, which was a good first step.
I am now hatching a scheme whereby I convince all my prospective grad-seminar instructors to require all other students to wear sleepmasks during my in-class presentations because my [actual, pre-existing] PTSD is [actually, really, to some extent] aggravated by having them all, y’know, LOOKING AT ME. WITH THEIR EYES.
I am having a real hard time not finding the sleep masks on everyone WAY CREEPIER. o_o
What could possibly be misconstrued as “creepy” in the image of me presenting my paper before a roomful of chronically exhausted grad students sitting out their last class of the evening, all of them turning their sightless, masked-wrapped heads in unwitting unison to echolocate me as I wander from podium to blackboard uneasily before I realize that writing on the board or even showing my Powerpoint would be futile, then wander back again?
What is “creepy” in the image of them leaning in, closer, ever closer, trying to catch every uncertain word I utter and every unconscious “um” and shuffling of cards, of trying to capture and contain each word and sound when words and sounds are all they are able to glean from this sight-struck evening?
What is “creepy” about me quietly flicking the classroom light switch to off when no one but me needs light to see and I can get by on the pale gleam of my laptop and we’re all trying to conserve energy when we can and anyhow there is nothing to see and no one but me to see it?
What is “creepy” in each of my classmates trying politely to hand me back the individual and monogrammed sleep masks I’ve made for each of them, and me saying, low of voice and eyes burning with sincerity, “NO, KEEP IT. You’ll need it again”?
I think you’re overestimating how “creepy” this would be.
TAKING TO THE SEA TO BE AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS AS POSSIBLE O_O
MAYBE YOU JUST AREN’T CUT OUT FOR GRAD SCHOOL THEN IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE MY SLEEP MASK ACCOMMODATION
I went to a women’s college and sat in many MANY semi-circles, and now I’m thinking about how my college experience was a lot like being in a coven.
I went to such a small school with so few students in a class that it blows my fucking mind that anyone could ever think they would pass a class they attended only once.
Same here. In fact, most professors put it in the syllabus that missing more than a certain number of days would be an automatic failing grade
I mean, I could imagine that working for some classes where exams are a very large percentage of the grade, as long as you stretched “once” to include “on all significant exam days”. Especially if the exams were fairly objective in nature. As a TA for calculus, I did have some students come to discussion sections (where we gave quizzes) who the actual professor never saw except at the midterms and finals. Most of them were doing well.
I cannot imagine it working in any class where the seating arrangement is a semicircle, though. Unless you had some kind of serious accommodation need of which you had made the professor aware. In which case, I’d expect a certain amount of private discussion with the professor or other extra work to ensue.
“I believe if you want to attract more males to these courses, you have to work with them. My request for accommodation was reasonable.”
THAT SENTENCE IS EXACTLY WHY HE FAILED THE COURSE.
Less succinctly: nobody said they were interested in attracting more males; nobody wants to work with males; nobody wants to have to work with males; males should try harder to work with women; oh my God I want to punch this guy in the dick.
Yup, that’s the quote I pulled from that article, too, and roughly the same response of “DUDE, YOUR PREMISE MIGHT BE FLAWED.”
“I signed up for a women’s studies class but didn’t go because there were women in it.”
THAT’S SUCH GREAT REASONING GOOD JOB A+
Look, he thought they would be studying women. Like lab rats. What else could it mean?
I scared my roommate with how hard I cackled at this.
(Like, even putting aside my misandry – if you never attend a class you are probably going to fail. WELCOME TO COLLEGE)
Hi, my name is Any Woman Who Works in the Sciences or Engineering (or, incidentally, Public Transit Vehicle Maintenance). Welcome to my fucking world. But, you know, reversed and one brazillion times worse.
I just realized that except for Twitter/IM I have whole days where I don’t talk to women. Software engineering!
Preach it!
And also, the kitchen of most restaurants.
*only girl in the room solidarity fistbump*
Damn straight, the three women in my class can probably relate.
(Also, I’m starting to forget what women look like, is this a problem in daily life?)
Is it bad that I kind of hope he wins this lawsuit just so women everywhere have a precedent for suing their workplaces that are 99.9% men?
Except it won’t work that way. SIGH.
I have to work in all-male mining camps. If he wins, can I stop showing up to work, then sue for discrimination if they fire me?
This is indeed the application of the law I was hoping for. Explain that they were very frightening with their facial hair and high levels of testosterone. And also their likelihood of being sexual predators.
He already didn’t win.
Did he? I didn’t click through the article because often when I do that instead of just reading Mallory’s recap I get really ragey.
OH OH OH IT IS SO PERFECTLY TIMED THAT I JUST ORDERED THIS MUG ONLY AN HOUR AGO (Valentines Day gift for myself, naturally)!!
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
Isn’t it, though?? I was torn between that mug and this misandric tank top (though, really I haven’t the space for either) but then I envisioned drinking my tea out of that mug every morning and, well, how could I resist?
I feel like Ms. Barch from Daria has this mug.
Amazing. You are a hero.
I would give credit to the Toastie who introduced me to this mug on Twitter but I can’t remember who it was. Sorry, anonymous Toastie!
OH GOD
Oh my goodness, this is amazing.
If you must talk about women “sort of si***ng in a se*****cle,” please put a trigger warning on it. Some of us have been through the trauma of being the only guy in a room. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go cry some manly tears. Someone please cover for me at work; I expect to be paid for this crying time.
I feel like I’m so close to working a “The Crying Game” joke into this but I can’t quite get there
Clearly we are failing to acknowledge the crucial detail: THE SEMICIRCLE.
It is well known that the semicircle is a Matriarchal symbol: the stretched abdomen of gestation, the cradling arms of a mother, the scythe blade used to hew the heads of men. By positioning students thus, he is both enveloped by and lost in the ranks of the curving misandrist claw, his masculine virtues stripped clean. For how can a man preserve himself in such a soft, smothering shape?
I am weeping because of the brilliant beauty of your truth. Thank you.
*slow clap
I love you
I really hope some of the bewildered comments that are going to start showing up on this post a few days from now are funny enough to get approved.
Edit: I mean, not that the dudes posting them should actually have to worry about being funny. Mallory and Nicole can reasonably accommodate them by approving the comments either way.
there’s a comment in an old Chris Kimball post by someone who clearly thinks this is actually Cook’s Illustrated and if the post weren’t so old I’d be sorely tempted to approve it
I am anticipating the upcoming Wodehouse quotes with glee.
Sometimes Mallory posts them on her Twitter feed instead and that is pretty good fun.
Mallory I love when you write about higher education’s deeply embedded patriarchy. Please cover the Colorado sexual harassment scandal next.
no i only write about semicircles now
Fair.
But to other writers/investigators, don’t you want to know what happened at the mountain retreat to make the task force say “[t]o be perfectly honest, we are floored that members of this department would believe that having another mountain event would be a good idea, given the unprofessional behavior that transpired at the last one.” !? Because this academic gossip wants to know.
Women are so scary right? I mean, we are the scariest. I mean, statistically, he was the most dangerous thing in the room BUT LADY DANGER JUMP DOWN BEHIND THAT DESK BEFORE THEY START THROWING TAMPONS.
Also, maybe he thought “Women’s Studies” meant studying/staring at women, sort of like how some guys think FBI stands for Female Body Inspector.
Also I would like to see many more posts under the “Things that have really happened in real life” tag.
. . . except can they not all be horrible fist-shaking ones? Can some of them be awesome wacky can’t-believe-how-something-this-great-exists ones? Just to sort of even it out?
http://www.thelocal.se/20140124/the-man-behind-th… Here is an article about an ice hedgehog.
YES JUST LIKE THAT
How about this – in a secret location at the University of Leicester in England, archaeologists and watchers are standing guard, unblinking and unsleeping, over the mortal remains of Richard III … so they don’t get stolen by a faction keen to resurrect him*. No word on whether they’re standing guard in … A WITCHES’ SEMICIRCLE.
http://www.culture24.org.uk/history-and-heritage/…
*may or may not be slightly exaggerated
I see future employers lining up to hire this guy. Who wouldn’t want to hire someone who has a habit of never showing up and then files a lawsuit when he’s made to pay the consequences of his (lack of) actions?
MISANDRY!
Credit: <a href=”http://theappendix.net/blog/2014/2/why-not-go-to-the-limit” target=”_blank”>http://theappendix.net/blog/2014/2/why-not-go-to-the-limit
I still REALLY want to go drinking there.
Will never get tired of that picture, it is perfection.
Relatedly, I just came across this Limited Edition Misandry Tote: http://the-new-inquiry-store.myshopify.com/collec…
In college, a student group had a poster with a picture of Annie Oakley holding two pistols and the caption “The way to a man’s heart… is through his chest.” Naturally, it was banned. Equally naturally, I have wanted it on a t-shirt ever since.
But what does Rob Ford think?
I don’t really even understand why that would BE overwhelming?
That is because you have NO IDEA how hard it is to be a MAN in this society. It’s devastatingly hard, Bergy. I mean, after all, everyone wants to have sex with them, how hard can life be? I’m a man and women were sitting in a semicircle and not ONE of them acted like she wanted to have sex with me and it was SO HARD, Bergy, SO HARD.
Pun intended. Except I’m not allowed to say that, because I’m a MAN and it’s OFFENSIVE if I say it, and it would be fine – hell, it would be great – if a woman said something sexually suggestive. That would be awesome. Women get to do whatever they want. They get to have sex and sit in semicircles and never be intimidated, ever. Plus they have boobs. That must be great.
This is why I didn’t go to the gender studies class, btw. I already know everything there is to know about women. Enough to know that THOSE women certainly weren’t behaving in a way that made me, a man, feel comfortable, and that their doing that is decidedly not okay. Those women were doing Women’s Studies totally wrong. THEY should’ve failed the class, not me. I was smart enough to go study women that match up with what makes me feel comfortable.
Mostly they were in porn.
Oh my dear lord, poor Mr. Kim. They were all a different than you? Welcome to the life of virtually every woman in STEM, and every pioneering minority person, in everything, ever.
[placeholder for fedora joke]
My son says his idea of heaven is a class with 40 women. “They can sit in any formation. I’ll bring cookies”
All I could think of was this Heritage Minute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xst0VHvwcJc Jenny Trout, also a U of T student, got her medical degree despite taking classes with a bunch of men sitting in a sort of semi circle.
Semi-circles!?? What is this sorcery!?
Flee! Flee!
Oh man, I hadn’t realized this was U of T. Toronto Twitter, I am disappointed with you for not making fun of this dude enough.
It was all over my feed! Follow @amirightfolks, she knows all the best Toronto feminist stuff.
I do! I must have missed it!
Is this an appropriate venue to talk about how dumb the Mockingjay epilogue is? Team Katniss, team no children, team Peeta dies instead of Prim (SAD BUT MAKES MORE SENSE), team Katniss runs away with Gale but that doesn’t really work out, team Katniss hangs out with Prim and takes small joy in seeing that all her sacrifices weren’t for naught as her sister has grown and built a small, but steady and safe, life and there won’t be any more Games ever again.
ALL OF THE THUMBS UP. I was like 1000% angrier about the Mockingjay epilogue than I was about the goofy HP one. WAY TO COMPLETELY BETRAY YOUR MAIN CHARACTER AND EVERYTHING SHE BELIEVED FOR THREE BOOKS, COLLINS. GOOD JOB.
WAY TO COMPLETELY BETRAY YOUR MAIN CHARACTER AND EVERYTHING SHE BELIEVED FOR THREE BOOKS, COLLINS.
Ha, see, I thought that was the point- that even though things are better, Katniss is still shattered in the aftermath and is just sort of floating. I did not see it as a happy ending at all.
NO. I LOVE THE EPILOGUE. I mean, yes, Prim should survive, definitely with you there, and seeing her doctoring around the place should be one of the things that helps keep Katniss sane during the bad times, but NO TO KILLING PEETA, NO TO EVER BOFFING GALE, NO TO NO KIDS. I love that she has them, but waits until she’s good and into her thirties. Well done, Katniss, clever girl.
You know what women DO when they sit in SEMI-CIRCLES don’t you?? THANK GOD IT WAS ONLY “SORT OF,” THANK GOD FOR ALL OF US
It was the first day, though. They were clearly only practising. They would have been sitting in semi-circles FOR REAL if he stayed, thank God he got away with his life.
I do! I must have missed it!
ALL OF THE THUMBS UP. I was like 1000% angrier about the Mockingjay epilogue than I was about the goofy HP one. WAY TO COMPLETELY BETRAY YOUR MAIN CHARACTER AND EVERYTHING SHE BELIEVED FOR THREE BOOKS, COLLINS. GOOD JOB.
Dunno if it's all that cool to mock this guy. I mean, if the thought of having to do something as innocuous as sit in a classroom with 40 women was enough to fill him with dread, then he's obviously a troubled individual. It's an irrational fear, but lots of people have phobias. It's too bad nobody encouraged him to seek therapy.
I see a lot of hate being directed at him from a lot of people on Facebook (and also a lot of homophobic comments of the "lol he must be gay" variety), but I just feel sorry for him . If the company of women really makes him that uncomfortable, yet he was interested enough to take a women's studies course, then he must lead a really tortured and unhappy life. It doesn't sound like he has any hostile feelings towards women, just that he has an uncontrollable and irrational fear.
To clarify my other post: I think he handled the situation extremely poorly, and I think his request for accommodation was unreasonable. I do think however that the mental health aspect of this situation is being largely ignored. I wish people would show more compassion and that they wouldn't heap so much scorn on him for what may well be a real mental health issue.
When I was the only woman in my 40-person game studio, I knew that if I could just find two more, we could sit in a semicircle. AND INFLICT HORROR UPON THEM ALL.
Hmm, I guess dropping the course before the cut-off never crossed his mind. Gosh, wouldn’t it have been nice to say how intimidating Wildlife Physiology was, not show up all semester, and then file a lawsuit when (gasp) I mysteriously failed the course! I’m thinking college isn’t the place for this individual – just sayin’!!
You'll need it again