Hey Ladies: Love Is in the Air

142 Comments

1. anninyn +78 February 13, 2014 4:12 pm

   My word, just reading these makes me stressed. So glad for my friends who almost never do this mainly because we never make plans to do stuff as a group.

2. EPWordsnatcher +191 February 13, 2014 4:19 pm

   I am pretty sure that if we speak these acronyms aloud we will summon Cthulu.

   1. Girl Named Jack +10 February 13, 2014 7:38 pm

      Why can’t I like this more than once??!? Life is unfair.

   2. racecaryaya +15 February 14, 2014 12:09 am

      Shit, I was reading it aloud to my roommates.

      If you read tomorrow that California has fallen into the sea…I am sorry.

   3. floridagal1 +18 February 14, 2014 1:43 am

      OK, someone try it out and LMK ASAP by COB.

3. slowseptember +92 February 13, 2014 4:19 pm

   HEY LADIES.

   This one was more tense than usual! Poor Ashley.

   1. naglayaxuliganka +19 February 13, 2014 4:28 pm

      I’m having chest pains right now.

   2. EPWordsnatcher +70 February 13, 2014 4:29 pm

      I am worried about Ashley. Girl, it will get better. It cannot possibly stay winter forever.

      1. mbculver +73 February 13, 2014 5:38 pm

         FREE ASHLEY. Ashley, go see if Gracie wants to hang out with a decent bottle of wine.

         1. Sugar&Snails +32 February 13, 2014 6:16 pm

            Oooh it would make me so happy if over the course of this series more and more of the Ladies cut ties and went to become friends with Gracie. I have hope for Charlotte, too!

            1. Prawns +34 February 13, 2014 8:41 pm

               And then the final installment is a sensible plan-thread with the escapees where everyone just says what they want to do, and then goes and does it.

            2. racecaryaya +35 February 14, 2014 12:10 am

               Ali is left alone, swimming in champagne and bile.

   3. anninyn +39 February 13, 2014 4:35 pm

      Poor Ashley.

      Nicole has stepped from ‘selfish, inconsiderate and amoral’ into full blown ‘evil manipulator’, yes?

      1. slowseptember +39 February 13, 2014 4:37 pm

         Nicole has gone directly over the edge without passing Go.

      2. TheAntiHumorEquation +118 February 13, 2014 4:49 pm

         I think Ali won the “evil manipulator” award for this chain. I mean, damn.

      3. breakfastpumpkin +91 February 13, 2014 4:56 pm

         Yes, but Ali even moreso. Nicole is manipulative and evil, but in a directionless, desperate way. Ali is all cool, blue, Machiavellian reason. I can just picture her whispering into the ear of a sleeping Nicole, “I will always be bigger than you…”

         Poor Ashley. I want to go in there and give her a hug.

         1. dakimel +12 February 13, 2014 5:24 pm

            Ali is completely Machiavellian, you are so right!

4. bustedsneakers +19 February 13, 2014 4:19 pm

   I just found myself actually gnawing my nails over serial (killer) fiction. How is this even.

5. phlippin +64 February 13, 2014 4:20 pm

   Ali’s Juan Pablo signature. I die.

   1. SmrtCookie +23 February 13, 2014 4:36 pm

      I want to see Ali on The Bachelor. So much.

      1. bgprincipessa +23 February 13, 2014 5:10 pm

         Ali has already been on The Bachelor, as almost every girl in the house ever.

6. ipomoea +185 February 13, 2014 4:24 pm

   Tyler, I cannot stress how much of a bullet you have dodged. Not just one bullet, but the bullet and its eight other brains.

   1. mbculver +52 February 13, 2014 5:39 pm

      Maybe Grace and Tyler can get together.

      (Sorry, guys, I’m just so happy Grace escaped and I just want good things for her!)

      ETA: Haha, just saw the thread below. Glad we’re all the same wavelength, Toasties.

   2. BellaG +1 February 13, 2014 6:41 pm

      My first thought too!

   3. bluewindgirl +12 February 13, 2014 6:43 pm

      We know nothing about Tyler, but I feel like Grace deserves better than someone who asks her to cook for him on a second date. (Obviously if people love cooking and volunteer to cook for their dates that is a cool nice thing, but not only does Ashley not cook, she doesn’t even eat.) That sounds like a test; I suspect Tyler of being terrible in a different way.

      1. no_blues +46 February 13, 2014 6:46 pm

         Uh, no, Tyler is the one who’s cooking for his date: “He wants to cook for me which is so cute!”

      2. rosalineee +11 February 13, 2014 6:48 pm

         Thankfully, it’s the other way around: “He wants to cook for me.” He could indeed be a good person for Gracie!

7. thatrobin +18 February 13, 2014 4:25 pm

   Fly Barre.

   1. EPWordsnatcher +32 February 13, 2014 4:26 pm

      Yoga Booty Ballet

   2. carmencicero +25 February 13, 2014 4:42 pm

      I would totally go to the all those work out classes. Hit me up, ladies.

      1. EPWordsnatcher +30 February 13, 2014 6:17 pm

         I’m developing a twitch response to the salutation “ladies.” Help.

8. aravisthequeen +90 February 13, 2014 4:25 pm

   omg it’s like a Valentine’s horror story except with less dying and more PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR

9. EPWordsnatcher +56 February 13, 2014 4:26 pm

   RUN TYLER.

   1. slowseptember +89 February 13, 2014 4:26 pm

      FOLLOW GRACIE WHEREVER SHE WENT

      1. EPWordsnatcher +73 February 13, 2014 4:28 pm

         Tyler+Gracie foreverrrrrr

         1. slowseptember +45 February 13, 2014 4:29 pm

            I ship it.

            1. EPWordsnatcher +162 February 13, 2014 4:32 pm

               Tyler and Gracie have lots of pasta nights, move in together after Gracie gets a promotion next year (you go girl), get engaged about six months later and adopt an older dog and a small cat. Their wedding does not have a theme.

            2. tubatoothpaste +17 February 13, 2014 4:45 pm

               Awww. this made me extremely happy!!

            3. plspassthePinot +10 February 13, 2014 8:08 pm

               LOVE W ALL THE EMOJI HEARTS

         2. dakimel +26 February 13, 2014 4:39 pm

            RUN GRACELER RUN

      2. MalloryOrtberg +77 February 13, 2014 5:02 pm

         I WAS GONNA SAY HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED GRACIE IS GONNNNE

         1. slowseptember +62 February 13, 2014 5:06 pm

            Gracie stuck to her guns! She has gone and found better friends with better email chains. She probably eats white carbs on occasion.

            1. bustedsneakers +9 February 13, 2014 6:25 pm

               Did you know that vegans can sometimes be simultaneously opposed to white carbs? They can. Now you know.

            2. rosalineee +33 February 13, 2014 6:51 pm

               I need a Gracie epilogue where she and her new friends exchange intelligent and kind messages.

            3. racecaryaya +33 February 14, 2014 12:12 am

               Go look through your own email chains.

               BAM.

         2. plspassthePinot +48 February 13, 2014 8:10 pm

            I sincerely hope Ashley is the next one to go, which triggers a gradual exodus of non-responses until the series ends w Ali sending emails to herself from her gmail to her work account.

10. phlippin +94 February 13, 2014 4:29 pm

    Keep rising above, charlotte.smith857!

    1. Lu3 +20 February 13, 2014 4:31 pm

       We never have heard from Charlotte, right? It’s a little hard for me to keep track of all these delightful ladies and their winning personalities (much as I love the series).

       1. anninyn +26 February 13, 2014 4:40 pm

          She’s commented once and it was something fairly neutral.

          1. bustedsneakers +46 February 13, 2014 4:44 pm

             She’s biding her time against the fall of Ali and Nicole, and will scramble the remnants from her comparatively neutral position.

          2. Lu3 +1 February 13, 2014 5:18 pm

             Thanks. 🙂

       2. dakimel +35 February 13, 2014 5:26 pm

          Oh, she spends all her time on snapchat because email is too tedious and last century. You only think she’s above all this because of a better moral character, but really it’s because her life is more futuristic than ours.

11. wrappedupinbooks +23 February 13, 2014 4:32 pm

    at the risk of doxing myself, the one with my name has never ever responded to any of these and I am so proud of her for that.

    1. yahtzii +171 February 13, 2014 5:53 pm

       Nice to meet you, MAILER-DAEMON.

12. deleted1892326 +66 February 13, 2014 4:34 pm

    There’s a lot that I can’t fathom here, but who would actually consider inviting themselves along to a date? Let alone inviting yourself + 6 other people? To someone else’s house? ON THEIR DATE?

    Charlotte needs to go meet up with Gracie.

13. Girl Named Jack +40 February 13, 2014 4:35 pm

    These always kick up little anxiety flumes for me. But then I realize that the last email chain I had with my best girls was to set up a Shining dinner/viewing party, as recommended right here on the Toast. And everything is all right.

    1. elsamac +24 February 13, 2014 8:26 pm

       It’s so gratifying to think that you’re out there creating an email chain that is the exact opposite of a “Hey, Ladies” chain, and even more gratifying to know something I wrote helped to start it. This is truly one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received.

14. raqueue +14 February 13, 2014 4:35 pm

    If Ashley escapes, who next will drop off? My bet’s on Jen.

    1. slowseptember +12 February 13, 2014 4:38 pm

       I find myself hoping that Ashley emails Gracie and escapes. I think Gracie has set a shining example.

    2. raqueue +69 February 13, 2014 4:39 pm

       Although … Jen got married about a year ago. She could be pregnant by now and the ladies might try to organize a baby shower . . . .

       1. slowseptember +44 February 13, 2014 4:42 pm

          Oh.

          Oh no.

       2. wrappedupinbooks +43 February 13, 2014 4:43 pm

          YES YES YES

       3. dakimel +14 February 13, 2014 5:27 pm

          I just got queasy. You have an evil mind.

       4. Household_Opera +11 February 14, 2014 9:39 pm

          HEY LADIES, THE SEQUEL: SPAWN OF JEN. In theaters next year.

15. dakimel +150 February 13, 2014 4:40 pm

    Morgan’s manicurist did not stab her with a cuticle knife?

    Morgan’s manicurist deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

16. elldubs +50 February 13, 2014 4:43 pm

    “I’m really into blogs right now”.

    Also, isn’t Nicole the really broke one?

    1. wrappedupinbooks +59 February 13, 2014 4:59 pm

       yes, that’s why she can’t date a teacher. She needs dat $250k

    2. figwiggin +23 February 13, 2014 9:04 pm

       “I’m really into blogs right now” and “pasta is so cute” are tied for my favorite parts of this.

17. madgehowlet +68 February 13, 2014 4:51 pm

    And this is the moment when Ali reveals herself as a monster who is also a wizard. That is some well-executed psyops.

18. thebellewitch +49 February 13, 2014 5:02 pm

    This one may have been the most stressful yet.

    “I think it would be totally fine if you guys came over for dinner tonight too. I’ll just text him.” Nooooo just no.

19. Elizabeth W +57 February 13, 2014 5:03 pm

    I want a Hey Ladies spin-off where we get to follow Gracie as she finally makes some nice, sane, non-manipulative friends at a Toast meet-up or something.

    1. EPWordsnatcher +37 February 13, 2014 5:09 pm

       Michelle and Caroline could just make a comment account and live here, as Gracie.

       1. deleted2997279 +9 February 13, 2014 5:20 pm

          YES.

    2. tubatoothpaste +35 February 13, 2014 8:59 pm

       Would it be too weird to write Hey Ladies fanfic? (Uh, asking for a friend…)

       1. racecaryaya +26 February 14, 2014 12:16 am

          If you write it, we will come.

          (to read it)

       2. hotforchocolate +9 February 14, 2014 3:22 pm

          Not at all!

          Well, maybe. But we’ll all want to read it so we’re just as weird.

20. breakfastpumpkin +140 February 13, 2014 5:07 pm

    “Guys love hints and are usually great at picking up on them!!” OH. MY. GOD. All the giggles.

    Also: A million troll points to Katie for her random bringing-up of Scandal/power suits/Lean In right after Nicole’s plea to “RETURN TO TALKING ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.” I suspect it might have been a random act of accidental brilliance (because Katie’s pretty random and accidental in general), but OMG SO MUCH TROLLY WIN.

    1. floridagal1 +49 February 14, 2014 1:47 am

       OH MAN.
       “so I just flirted with him a ton and Mike got so weirded out I never had to see him at things. Guys will change for the right girl!!”

       I stopped breathing for a minute when I read this.

21. deleted7410012 +18 February 13, 2014 5:14 pm

    This whole series is so stressful and confusing and it makes me really uncomfortable and I don’t really think it’s funny, just really sad, for a whole tangle of reasons.

22. Battle_Swine +41 February 13, 2014 5:17 pm

    I dunno, I feel like this one crossed the line from “could be terrifyingly true” to “obvious satire.”

    1. dakimel +32 February 13, 2014 5:31 pm

       Ali’s dating advice is from a 1993 book about managing men, but that could be because she knows that’s the best way of manipulating Nicole into being free for Valentine’s Day Girl’s Night.

    2. imgs5890 +15 February 13, 2014 5:42 pm

       Yeah, I agree. In the past they’ve been great because you could actually see them happening, but this one skews way too far from reality to actually be funny, for me.

       1. aravisthequeen +53 February 13, 2014 6:12 pm

          I wish this was too far from reality for me to conceptualize. I really REALLY wish.

    3. cuntessvonfingerbang +32 February 13, 2014 9:09 pm

       I can see how you’d think that, but I personally know all of these people and I’m sorry to inform you that it is still totally true to life. 🙁

23. elsamac +71 February 13, 2014 5:18 pm

    Here are some reasons why: In GIRLS, everyone is dating someone with baggage.

    AAAAAAHHHHH NO “GIRLS” IS NOT ASPIRATIONAL DO NOT TAKE LIFE LESSONS FROM “GIRLS” LITERALLY THE WORST.

    1. deleted9457019 +10 February 13, 2014 5:21 pm

       Not even from Shosh?

       1. elsamac +29 February 13, 2014 7:09 pm

          OH SWEETPEA NO

    2. breakfastpumpkin +60 February 13, 2014 5:37 pm

       AND the Kardashians, AND Sex and the City (and probably the Real Housewives of Wherever, but I wouldn’t get those references). The Hey Ladies make terrible choices in role models (as in everything else).

       I think this series needs a “modern heteronormativity” tag.

       1. mbculver +20 February 13, 2014 5:46 pm

          Don’t forget the whole Juan Pablo Bachelor reference. Ack.

       2. elsamac +51 February 13, 2014 6:19 pm

          Fair point. “Girls” is the only one of the shows mentioned that I’ve watched*, so I don’t have the same visceral OH SWEETPEA NO reaction to the others. Also, of course, Housewives and Kardashians and Bachelor feature real people, however skewed by the format, not aggressively non-aspirational female-antihero fiction like “Girls.”

          *After much urging from friends, I started watching “Sex & the City” a few months ago. I made it alllll the way to the baby-shower episode in the first season before this exchange occurred:

          hugely pregnant character on SatC: Isn’t it great? I can eat whatever I want!
          me, yelling at computer screen: YOU COULD ALREADY DO THAT!

          I doggedly watched a few more episodes even after that, but SatC and I were never meant to be.

          1. breakfastpumpkin +23 February 13, 2014 6:40 pm

             😀

             I’ve never watched “Girls,” although I kind of feel like I should.

             When SaTC first came out, I was in a building that had HBO, so I watched a bunch of the first season. At first I thought it was neat — this sex-positive show about independent women and their friendships — but I was soon turned off by how shallow, vain, greedy, and ultimately uninterested in real independence the characters were. It was like Cosmopolitan Magazine, the narrative (I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Cosmo is their favourite martini). Maybe it was meant to be satire, and I just wasn’t getting the joke? But it felt to me like I was supposed to like them, especially Carrie, when all I wanted to do was scream at the television.

             1. elsamac +11 February 13, 2014 8:41 pm

                I don’t know why I can’t (or, at least, I didn’t) establish the same combination of distance and empathy to the SatC characters that I feel for the “Girls” characters.

                Maybe it’s about age, or about generational concerns: I can identify the “Girls” leads with my younger, dumber, loud-mouthed self. Though they are technically adults, they’re mired (as so many of us were, or are, in our early 20s) in the cosseted world of youth. We’re watching them flail their way out of the selfish corridors of childhood and into full-fledged adulthood, with the growing awareness of others that that entails.

                The SatC characters were fully adult women, well-established in their careers and personalities. In the season and a half I watched, I never saw them trying to change or grow or become better at being adults. but maybe that was a failure of my empathy and understanding rather than the show’s premise.

                Should I give SatC another try? I really came to hate them quickly, which has never happened to me with Hannah Horvath and her friends, no matter how often I moan “oooooh i haaaaate you the most” at the TV.

             2. megmuoio +19 February 13, 2014 8:48 pm

                “Should I give SatC another try?”

                NOPE.

             3. mbculver +19 February 13, 2014 11:31 pm

                It’s funny, because when SaTC came out, I got really into it for a while – dragged my husband into watching, talked about it obsessively with friends and sister, thought of the characters as real people, etc.

                And now when I see bits of it in places, I just cringe. Why? What happened? I think when it first came out, there was so little that was woman-centric and dealt with friendship/relationship issues that we just glommed on. And now we realize how garbage a lot of it is, and how much better woman-centric shows can be. Or something.

          2. mbculver +35 February 13, 2014 7:18 pm

             hugely pregnant character on SatC: Isn’t it great? I can eat whatever I want!
             me, yelling at computer screen: YOU COULD ALREADY DO THAT!

             I love you.

       3. apple_pi +3 February 13, 2014 7:27 pm

          Thumbs up for that tag ALONE.

24. filledelagrammaire +12 February 13, 2014 5:25 pm

    Best/worst installment yet. GRACIE, I’M SO GLAD YOU ESCAPED.

25. mbculver +12 February 13, 2014 5:30 pm

    I haven’t finished reading yet but I just have to come down here and yell THE SPECIES PHOTO IS PERFECT FOR THIS SERIES HOLY CRAP.

    OK, now back to read and flinch.

26. meanchelled +12 February 13, 2014 5:30 pm

    AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS SERIES and this one was more terrifying and manipulative than the others?!! ALI YOU TERRIBLE WIZARD

27. emily_white +66 February 13, 2014 5:31 pm

    “CAN WE PLEASE RETURN TO TALKING ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

    And thus the subtext has become text. Somewhere, Gracie was breathing a sigh of relief without even knowing why.

28. PaigePoo +7 February 13, 2014 5:45 pm

    I haven’t even read this yet and it’s the best thing about my day so far. Love to hate these ladies.

29. eegghh +59 February 13, 2014 5:46 pm

    Hot damn, I love the ladies. They’re terrifying. They are to email chains what sharks are to teeth- just rows and rows of sharp pointy never ending horror. Thanks for another excellent installment!

30. AmazingSandwich +27 February 13, 2014 5:46 pm

    I find these inordinately stressful to read. Why do I keep reading them??

31. Allison +38 February 13, 2014 5:50 pm

    Hahahah “I mean you always talk about taking Yoga Booty Ballet classes and maybe reading more, and I just don’t want you to give up your dreams yet!” You TAKE those Yoga Booty Ballet classes, Nicole.

32. MaladyDee +38 February 13, 2014 6:05 pm

    ….. they never even took Ashley off the list. AAAAAARGH monsters.
    No lie, at one point I was (briefly) the Ashley to someone else’s Nicole, and cutting her out of my life was the best thing I ever did. (it only took me 2 months to come to my senses, thankfully)

33. agamebeyond +7 February 13, 2014 6:05 pm

    This is the first one of these that has seriously stressed me out. Ali is terrifying omfg

34. chnellociraptor +83 February 13, 2014 6:20 pm

    Is Ali maybe like a performance artist? No one is that pure evil without reason.

    Back-up theory: Charlotte is doing an anthropological study on the group and she doesn’t respond because she can’t upset the delicate ecosystem of their toxic friendships.

    1. kaimcn +38 February 13, 2014 6:40 pm

       Charlotte is like me keeping the trainwreckest people on Facebook just to see what’s shaking in their live. Like the one I call John’s Wife who constantly uses Facebook statuses to subtweet her husband who replies in kind.

       Charlotte’s know we’re bad people but can’t resist the drama.

    2. ipomoea +74 February 13, 2014 8:01 pm

       I like to think that’s not actually Charlotte’s e-mail, it’s been mis-typed in each e-mail thread and some 77 year old woman in Montana is reading these email threads that she gets once a month and just going “oh, LADIES.”

       Charlotte, meanwhile, has already found new friends and reconnected with Grace, and they get together for DVR dates every few weeks.

       1. tekkah +13 February 14, 2014 3:48 pm

          Haha I like this theory. Oh, or maybe that’s an email Charlotte has, but she has quietly gotten a new account and never told these ladies and just pops in once a week or so on this account to mark everything as read and clear out the inbox.

35. supernintendo +30 February 13, 2014 6:21 pm

    I look forward to these so much every month. My favorite line in this one was Nicole’s about being just taken off the family plan at 28. Hahahahaha

    1. logicbutton +12 February 13, 2014 6:44 pm

       Eh, I’m 30 and still on my parents’ cell phone plan. My needs are pretty basic, so we figure, why bother changing things?

    2. supernintendo +15 February 13, 2014 9:20 pm

       To clarify, I’m laughing because I can relate as someone who was on the family plan well into my mid-twenties and financial independence

36. kaimcn +5 February 13, 2014 6:38 pm

    Thank you always for these. This is too brilliant. And I only cringe so hard because they’re so fucking accurate to people I’ve know.

37. logicbutton +38 February 13, 2014 6:39 pm

    This post needs a gif of George Michael Bluth saying, “So I should probably do the opposite of that, huh?”

    I am taking Ali’s advice and

    noooooooooo

38. safvn +30 February 13, 2014 6:54 pm

    I just internally yelped “THERE’S ANOTHER HEY LADIES” when I saw this.

    Also, one of my best friends’ passive-aggressive insults is “Your hair looks really pretty today,” which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense BUT was also present here and I felt a startling and troubling bit of recognition.

    1. cuntessvonfingerbang +10 February 13, 2014 9:13 pm

       omg right? You don’t even need to explain, I totes know a “your hair looks really pretty today” girl too.

39. evieskye +35 February 13, 2014 6:56 pm

    I am ashamed of the fact that I just went “ugh, Morgan, it’s spelled Bethenny Frankel!” I hate myself.

    1. dakimel +12 February 13, 2014 11:04 pm

       And yet I love you. Balance restored.

40. yasaman +13 February 13, 2014 6:59 pm

    These are basically like little horror stories to me even while they make me laugh. I’m so glad Gracie and Tyler have escaped. My god, Ali is a MONSTER.

41. sednarea51 +10 February 13, 2014 6:59 pm

    I’m glad I’m home in the snow today, because then I could make moaning noises of repulsion and horror as I read this. Ali and Nicole. uggggghhhhhh YOUR EMAILS ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!

42. Gloria +38 February 13, 2014 7:03 pm

    For some reason, “I have a Groupon” is what slayed me. Far too true.

43. littlehuntingcreek +57 February 13, 2014 7:24 pm

    Everyone knows when a guy is smitten for you he takes you for tapas. Industry standard.
    YES

44. plspassthePinot +15 February 13, 2014 8:16 pm

    Also Ali, TAPAS ARE THE DEVIL

    1. plspassthePinot +26 February 13, 2014 8:16 pm

       Seriously, you’re always still hungry and each plate is the SAME PRICE OF A NORMAL PLATE OF FOOD

    2. plspassthePinot +63 February 13, 2014 8:18 pm

       And then you just keep taking ONE forkful of food when there’s only 5 forkful’s presented and no one wants to take the last forkful and then he’s like “Do you want something else?” and yes, OF COURSE, I’d like something else but is he asking because I look starving or because he’s hungry? And why didn’t we just order the $65 paella because that was the only real food on the menu and we’re spending more than that on olives and A SINGLE STRIP OF BACON CUT INTO QUARTERS anyway…. ok / end rant

       1. EPWordsnatcher +7 February 13, 2014 8:19 pm

          That was amazing.

       2. rhymeswitheight +10 February 14, 2014 3:26 am

          thank you for saying what the world needs to hear

    3. mbculver +13 February 13, 2014 11:38 pm

       One time I was with a consulting team in Virginia and we went to a tapas place and ordered 60 jillion plates because we were so hungry. Not by design, every plate had oodles of garlic in it. I love garlic, but 65 jillion oodles of garlic is a bit too much. We ended up walking around Alexandria, sick to our stomachs and oozing garlic out our pores. And that’s why I dislike tapas, The End.

       1. plspassthePinot +18 February 13, 2014 11:55 pm

          One time I met a friend for tapas happy hour and the bartender condescending told us that “every hour here is happy” in a tone that said “we removed that option, broke bitches.” And we split a teacup saucer of potatoes in red sauce and a $14 plate w *3 SHRIMP* before calling it quits and going to the Irish pub down the st.

          1. mbculver +13 February 14, 2014 12:37 am

             Bartender said that and then served you 3 shrimp for $14? No tip for you, buddy.

45. inapartydress +12 February 13, 2014 9:28 pm

    I LIVE for these posts. Yoga Booty Ballet, bless. It takes all my strength to not passive-aggressively send them to the “ladies” I know. Life reassessment: why do I know so many “ladies?”

46. floridagal1 +23 February 14, 2014 1:51 am

    LMK if you wanna hash all this out in a google hangout and do a deep dive.

    what does this even mean??????

47. floridagal February 14, 2014 1:51 am

    LMK if you wanna hash all this out in a google hangout and do a deep dive.

    what does this even mean??????

48. apples and oranges February 14, 2014 3:26 am

    thank you for saying what the world needs to hear

49. BBPratt February 14, 2014 5:13 am

    I would so watch the Ladies as a TV series. Love.

50. holihaes +5 February 14, 2014 6:30 am

    I saw that there was a new Hey Ladies this morning but had to use all of my self control to save it until my acupuncturist appointment right now. I knew I would need the stress/hikarity of this post while I’m lying down with needles in my ankles. So perfect.

51. Scandyhoovian February 14, 2014 3:48 pm

    Haha I like this theory. Oh, or maybe that's an email Charlotte has, but she has quietly gotten a new account and never told these ladies and just pops in once a week or so on this account to mark everything as read and clear out the inbox.

52. tekkah +15 February 14, 2014 3:52 pm

    Aaaaahhhh more Hey Ladies! I both love to read these but also dread them in that way that I spend an entire horror movie dreading the moment they throw an inevitable “something jumps out when you’re not expecting it” moment in there.

    I feel so bad for Ashley. She’s got emergency therapy and asking them to leave her out and they not only ignore her but even at some point Nicole pointedly says “Keeping everyone looped in.” Jerk! JERK! I hope Charlotte quietly changed her email address and never told these ladies and all their crap is just going into an inbox she never checks anymore.

    Ali is the worst. Nicole is the worst. Those two are having a worst-off and keep one-upping each other. I hope that someday everyone around them quietly slides out of contact and it’s just the two of them emailing back and forth at each other with less and less thinly veiled passive-aggression until one of them finally snaps and just goes full-out “screw the faux niceness” and they have an epic falling-out. I’m just not sure I want to read it when it happens, that’s the thing.

53. Scandyhoovian February 14, 2014 3:52 pm

    Aaaaahhhh more Hey Ladies! I both love to read these but also dread them in that way that I spend an entire horror movie dreading the moment they throw an inevitable "something jumps out when you're not expecting it" moment in there.

    I feel so bad for Ashley. She's got emergency therapy and asking them to leave her out and they not only ignore her but even at some point Nicole pointedly says "Keeping everyone looped in." Jerk! JERK! I hope Charlotte quietly changed her email address and never told these ladies and all their crap is just going into an inbox she never checks anymore.

    Ali is the worst. Nicole is the worst. Those two are having a worst-off and keep one-upping each other. I hope that someday everyone around them quietly slides out of contact and it's just the two of them emailing back and forth at each other with less and less thinly veiled passive-aggression until one of them finally snaps and just goes full-out "screw the faux niceness" and they have an epic falling-out. I'm just not sure I want to read it when it happens, that's the thing.

54. shirleymacp February 18, 2014 8:12 pm

    GASP

    They are all basically genderbent Jean Ralphios.

55. ms_whatwhat +24 February 20, 2014 12:17 pm

    “Are you sad he’s a teacher? Do you think it’s cause he likes being around high school girls? What happened with his last relationship? Have you searched for him on one of those sex offender apps?” – Ali the drama-free nurturing Earth Mother