You guys! This was the week that brought another Nicole into our midst, and for that it will always remain dear to my heart. Did you welcome her? Did you follow her on Twitter? Can you believe she almost set her house on fire?
TAFT
GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT
THE BOYS IN THE WAR DEPARTMENT ARE LETTING ME USE THEM TO RECREATE THE BATTLE OF SAN JUAN HILL
AND WE NEED YOU TO PLAY SAN JUAN HILL
Are you in an MFA workshop story? Are you sure? Look around you. Are you a young man driving across the country thinking about all the various women in his life who have disappointed him? You may be in one…right now.
Hands Up, Guns Out: On Being Brown and Alive
“I think sometimes of all the bad things that could happen to me. Does anybody else do this? All the ways I could be hurt, the exact level and amount I could suffer, and survive.” I think some other people do.
Every single time I write a new entry in the Children’s Stories Made Horrific series, at least six jokesters say variations on the following:
lol the original is just as horrifying
lol u didn’t even have to change anything
the original was just as bad imho
Consider the point made!
Another month, another issue of Dad Magazine.
Lawrence Evalyn indexed Gothic novels for us (bosom: bloodstained, as distraction, hag’s naked, lover’s severed heart placed upon, pawed by lecherous jailer, viper in (figurative)).
I did not realize I was going to read a great piece this week about female chefs and a movie that came out several years ago featuring a cartoon rat, but life is full of surprises.
Tags: meta, toast points
I followed her on Twitter, and she followed me back, so I guess we’re best friends now?
Also: I WILL BENCH PRESS ANY AMERICAN I WANT
And, because it’ll get lost in an open thread shuffle, a gif illustrating just how heartily I’m going to destroy some drinks in a couple hours:
Ha! The original of this list was just as terrifying! You didn’t have to change a thing!
Awww, Mallory. This week will always be dear to me, too. But “almost set her house on fire” is blowing things so very out of proportion! IT WAS MOSTLY SMOKE, FORMER LANDLORD, WE ARE COOL
I hope your car is okay. I hope you’re okay after the awfulness. I’m glad the thief has not used your laptop to post male opinions on The Toast.
Awww, Mallory. This week will always be dear to me, too. But "almost set her house on fire" is blowing things so very out of proportion! IT WAS MOSTLY SMOKE, FORMER LANDLORD, WE ARE COOL
I hope your car is okay. I hope you're okay after the awfulness. I'm glad the thief has not used your laptop to post male opinions on The Toast.
Toasties! I got up the courage to go talk to my neighbor, and we’re good now. There was some hurt, and some anger (from her), and some crying (all from me), but we’re good, and we love each other, and we ate many cookies. Also, the puppy missed me, and spent several minutes sitting on the back of the couch and licking my face.
This was supposed to be on the open thread, sorry. Food coma from chinese food and too many cookies.