What is art?
Lascaux, Upper Paleolithic. “It’s a picture of whatever animal you’ve most recently eaten. Draw it with your hands, put it on a rock. Art. Make it red. Art has to be red.”
England, 1100. “As many people as you can paint on one thing, who are roughly the size of castles.”
Constantinople, 1230. “Sad Jesus.”
Italy, 1440. “Women holding babies that do not wish to be held.”
Belgium, 1590. “A bunch of dogs, mostly spaniels, in front of a newly-rich squire who is holding a gun.”
Japan, 1600. “Drawings of pine trees. A waterfall if you want to get really fancy. Maybe a maple tree, but that’s it.”
Mughal Empire, 1680. “Scribes sitting down.” Anything else? “No.”
The Netherlands, 1660. “That’s easy. It’s a peasant woman standing in front of a tray of fish.”
France, 1750. “A prostitute who is dressed up like Venus, and also a small dog.”
England, 1850. “Fictional redheads who have drowned.”
France, 1880. “An unhappy waitress.”
Tags: art history, artwork, just trees and prostitutes, what is art
Germany, 2014: “Dropping a chicken egg out your vagina.”
not a patch on America, 1974, dropping a scroll out your vagina.
The Dash Toast’s ongoing art history coverage brings me more joy than I can express.
“We KNOW what art is! It’s paintings of horses!“
???
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120425224151…
Praise it
Snort-laughing
So Rothko was just going back to our Paleolithic roots and had just eaten a fruit roll-up.
That last one, the Manet, is fascinating – how come we can only see the mirrored reflection of the guy with the moustache? Is that guy supposed to be me, the viewer?
This is an aspect of the painting much discussed among art historians. Suzon is centered alone, looking out of the painting (and, of course, into the busy, crowded room of the Folies-Bergère where she works) with a resigned, even melancholy expression. Her reflection stands behind her, apparently leaning in toward the mustachioed man, maybe engaged in taking his order or perhaps even in flirtation. The ease of the two reflections seeming to bend their heads together contrasts with the figure of the actual woman, who stands so still and isolated – perhaps distracted, perhaps serene, perhaps estranged – from the bustle around her.
There have been some reconstructions playing with the relative positions of the mirror, counter and figures to establish the positions that would create this pattern of reflections, which indicate that the male figure would actually be positioned facing slightly away from her, not leaning in toward her. But I don’t think the literal realities that contribute to the rendering are as crucial to the painting’s meaning as what Manet chose to show us in his final version – especially since drafts of the painting show that he originally positioned Suzon quite differently, positioning her off to one side instead of so prominently and strikingly alone in the very center.
Yes, you are the man, she is a prostitute, you are her john, Manet was the first true modern artist, this is what I remember from Art History 101. Olympia, above, also v. important w/r/t accusatory prostitutes and the creation of modern art.
Internet, 2014: Tina Belcher with a unicorn. Horses are also encouraged.
Also, France 1750 is where I need to be right now.
Cave paintings! I am really into cave paintings right now. I have been embroidering a set of napkins with southern European cave painting designs, and I don’t think I really realized how artistically sophisticated they are. Some of them show perspective, which won’t be seen again in art for tens of thousands of years! There are a couple that are drawn so that you don’t look at them from right in front of you, they’re weirdly enlongated to make you stand in a certain spot of the cave if you want to see the painting properly! Some of them use overlapping drawings to show the animal moving through time. The most complicated one I did was a fairly simple line drawing of two lions and a horse in which the three animals were subtley connected so that the line of a leg of one lion became the shoulder of the other or the tail of the horse etc. And then there’s some really neat minimalist styles where a single squiggly line is the entire of a painting of a mammoth, but it’s so instantly recognizable as a mammoth, or the Femme-Bisons which are a series of super-stylized drawings of women-bison metamorphoses.
Cave paintings are THE SHIT. I went to a really amazing exhibit about the Lascaux paintings at the Field Museum last spring and they are just totally awesome, and beautiful. The work and skill that went into them is kind of mind-blowing. (Here’s an article about the exhibition, which looks like it’s currently in Montreal, maybe? If you’re in the neighborhood, it is WELL worth going.)
I really wish I was in the area! I have never seen any paintings in person, but the cave lions from Lascaux are one of my favourites.
I have butts on the brain now, thanks to France in 1750, so when I read that article I read the caption under one picture as, “Aurochs from the so-called ‘Hall of BUTTS'” which is a hall I would totally visit.
Aah there’s an amazing bit in David Hendy’s recent book about noise where he talks about cave paintings of animals being done in the part of the cave that echoes most. There’s a theory that they were actually part of multimedia/performance art. If you’re into that you might like it:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Noise-Human-History-Sound…
Abbasid, Baghdad School, 1224. “Script, mostly script. Maybe some dudes cooking up some meth.”
Ottoman, Mid-16thc. “Dragons. We have those, right?”
A friend of mine, who is a medievalist, posted Mallory’s last “Medieval Monks Invent…” post on Facebook. One of his friends said that it was rather funny, but he couldn’t get past “all the historical inaccuracies.”
It’s now my life’s mission to troll this dude, isn’t it?
Oh god yes. Please. Report back.
oh my god, absolutely. he can’t be much of a medievalist if he doesn’t appreciate humor and lack of perspective.
lolllllllllllll
oh my god, they linked one of the monks pieces on Metafilter one time and nearly every single person was literally, exactly and truly unable to discern which parts were jokes and which parts were some foolish woman’s ignorance of Western cultural tradition. they got rather exercised about it. then my soul died.
The Final Frontier, Stardate 47312.1: Madness-inducing musical horse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7jbP1_H9sA
Japan 1830s Art is Giant Waves and some boats
Also: ladies getting some from squid
Pretty sure it was octopi. The tentacles seem to be the important part.
Germany, 1500:
“A terrifying woodcut.”
Anything else?
“*intense protestant stare* no.”
C’mon though, that Manet is a like century after the other two courtesans!
Also, attribution please on that first sexy lady playing footsie with the pooch.
It’s Fragonard! That same guy who did the famous swing painting.
Thanks! I needed it for my Pinterest board: http://www.pinterest.com/petitesophist/art-histor…
The middle one of the French 1750s lot reminds me of the indifferent cats in amateur porn tumblr.
Oranges have that connotation in some settings, and it's been argued by people better-schooled in art history than I am that they have that connotation here. I don't think it's remotely conclusive; there are plenty of other connotations the citrus could have in this scene, including an allusion to the lavish and expensive tastes of the patrons of the Folies-Bergère. And, of course, they provide a luscious pop of color in a somewhat dark frame.
I understand your parents' and your husband's fondness for it. It's a complex painting, loaded with ambiguity but no less affecting for it. Boy, I could sit and talk about this painting allllllll day long. But I won't.
I can’t lie: I’m looking at the pillow/duvet situation third Venus Prostitute has going there and I am envious. This may be due to my being very much pregnant and needing extensive pillow scaffolding to sleep, but that’s a sweet lounging setup there. Also, the no-pants-having is very appealing.
I can't lie: I'm looking at the pillow/duvet situation third Venus Prostitute has going there and I am envious. This may be due to my being very much pregnant and needing extensive pillow scaffolding to sleep, but that's a sweet lounging setup there. Also, the no-pants-having is very appealing.
In 1590 weren't we still using dead birds to cure people of illnesses? Like, two dead birds if it's REALLY bad. Strap them to your head! Take their powdered blood and put it in your wounds! SCIENCE
Now, of course, we cook dead birds into soup before we take advantage of their healing powers.
OH MY GOD THAT ONE LADY HAS MY BUTT. HI FLAT BUTT LADY IN ALL YOUR FLAT BUTTED GLORIOUSNESS.
OH MY GOD THAT ONE LADY HAS MY BUTT. HI FLAT BUTT LADY IN ALL YOUR FLAT BUTTED GLORIOUSNESS.
I was expecting some maybe 1970s things-that-are-not-vaginas-but-are-really-vaginas
needs more vaginas, is what I’m getting at here
Possible translation: GEORGIA O’KEEFE IS UNDERREPRESENTED HERE
O’Keeffe? … not VAGINA ENOUGH! Too many allusions. Give these 17th century guys the will to go for the gold, and it wouldn’t be “untrestled canyons and unfolding flower petals”. It would be painfully rendered (albeit pillow-propped) pussy. Up close, uncurtained, and personal… except perhaps for an occasional small dog or swan sticking their heads into the otherwise full-on, high-twattage portraiture…