Excellent. Mallory is surrounded by laughing women, as is just. Also, I am excited for future incarnations of the “roxane gay is in the background of this video” tag.
Kaitlyn+8
Also pamie.com is there! I love that my internet worlds are colliding – pamie and MBTV are the basis of basically my whole internet life and I wish I could’ve been at this reading to see her AND Mallory AND Roxane!
Hussified+2
Megadittoes!
mandarinmarie+16
Just watching Roxane Gay react is a great video!
ebarrale+4
Seriously, I have never been so hopeful that a tag will reappear in the future! (Watching her react is amaaazing!)
katieblv+41
Mallory, please read me bedtime stories.
Frumiosa+208
I said it last night on Twitter and I’ll say it again: The quick wit and big hair I expected. But the NPR host voice caressing my inner ears? I feel faint.
elsamac+95
She said it was mellifluous. I just didn’t know it would be that mellifluous.
eegghh+19
It’s even slightly less mellifluous in this recording than it was in the room.
elsamac+22
STOP IT, my ears are filling with honey!
eegghh+38
All I’m saying is the audio book of texts from jane eyre is going to be good. That’s all I’m sayin.
tibia_+66
She’s got a voice like an old movie actress and I want her to read all my books to me forever.
anon210+3
Just don’t ask her to read you the telephone book.
velvt_tea+2
Ah, I just commented the same, but I see you beat me
Unreadaethel+10
Lauren Bacall, editing The Toast, right here.
velvt_tea+8
the elegant actress from an old movie accent
anninyn+90
Not only are you talented, and funny, and extremely attractive, but you have a charming voice.
Mallory, unless you stop this now I will be forced to leave my husband for the brief, pointless hope that one day you might look at me.
You did great, I laughed out loud many times.
citizenchristy+84
Let’s start a club of women leaving their husbands for a chance at Mallory. NOT THAT I’M DOING THAT OR ANYTHING HA HA HA *dies*
anninyn+38
Imagine me on a green sofa, watching this video, laughing, with pink cheeks and bright hearts in my eyes, and a tattoo over my heart that says ‘reserved for Mallory’
sprocketwrench59+16
Not only that, but she has great taste in cardigans
allofthewhine+77
what could be better than having Roxane Gay laugh at your jokes and love you like that?
amanita+7
NOTHING IN THE WORLD
fortunata+181
This is perfect.
Also: goodness, Mallory, do you often use that voice to lure men to their deaths at sea? Because you could, if you wanted to.
citizenchristy+79
Cardigan game: on point.
It looks like the one man in the background is trying not to laugh the whole time, like maybe he Isn’t Allowed to Laugh at These Jokes.
Linette+21
There’s a moment when everyone claps and he sort of half-unfolds his arms and thinks better of it.
RuncibleSpoon+42
You were amazing! Everyone reading was amazing! I didn’t want to approach/bug you but my friend did and you fed her a muffin! Mallory is, and this is official everyone, fantastic.
eliana23+20
You are a gifted and marvelous woman with a shockingly lovely voice. I am envious of your audience–I think everything I say/read/think would be better with a crowd of engaged laughing ladies.
britomartian+17
omg that voice tho.
malloryelis+344
lollll i love youtube because i set the comments to strict moderation and there’s a bunch of dudes who want to be able to say “i dont like this your sexism” and “what if i write a poem about GIRL novelists” but they cannnt, all their opinions will be lost to time like tears in rainnn
NicoleCliffe+141
SMILES HAPPILY
Samk12345+65
Collect the male tears for an ice bucket* challenge, Mallory.
*You might need an extra bucket for the extra tears/opinions headed your way.
filledelagrammaire+53
I was WONDERING why there were zero Garbage Male Opinion comments on that video! Why doesn’t everyone moderate the crap out of every YouTube video comment section ever? The internet would be a much happier place.
Toft+37
How many male garbage comments get to appear beneath this video? Zero.
Unreadaethel+8
Not even that one guy who complained that he thinks of “white male novelists” as people like Terry Pratchett, and therefore this piece is invalid.
Alli525+2
Post them! Post them!
Alli525+15
(I obviously mean post them HERE so we can all laugh heartily at them in their foolish ignorance. Not post them on youtube, no one should ever do that.)
ebarrale+20
I seriously don’t understand why are all comment sections are not moderated. I fucking love moderated comment sections. Every so often I make the mistake of looking at the comments (always on YouTube for some reason. Why? Why do I hurt myself this way?) and it always ends in me actively not punching my computer.
Unreadaethel+12
I love moderated comments, because that way I can feel special when my comments are allowed through.
cosmia+4
I didn’t even know you could make youtube do that and now I’m so happy.
alicia+55
I also said this last night on Twitter but I think Toasties would appreciate hearing that YouTube decided that the next thing I should watch after Mallory’s jokes was Eddie Izzard doing LOTR jokes.
betsymore+45
+1 to all the fangirling about your gorgeous velvety voice.
Unreadaethel+4
It’s made of whiskey and cigarette smoke, the kind of voice that could make a man lose his masculine logic and reason and do something stupid, like challenge Sidney Greenstreet to a smarm-off.
laylapalooza+14
you and roxane gay in the same place at the same time!
deleted8734219+7
I cried real tears.
silverandsnow+12
Excellent points (‘450 pages of nothing’ is so dead on!) and excellent voice!
littlehuntingcreek+6
You were VERY funny and should consider doing stand up.
mmw+36
“… super hot?”
[quietly to self, in air-conditioned cubicle] Y…yes…
hayleyanthony+42
We are all so lucky to be living in the age of Mallory
perianwen+13
Careful, Mallory, or you’re going to end up with FB fan pages and endless Tumblrs devoted to you. 😉
Or maybe that’s all part of your plan?
unreasonably+44
mallory I have to tell you I have had two romantic dreams about you in which you handwrote annotations on your posts for me
it feels safe to post this now that everyone here is mad crushing too
elsamac+71
ahahahahaha
one of my ads for this post is for a craggy-faced Male Novelist who “treats language as carefully as if it were gold”
ahahahahaha
czargasm+6
my eyes are hearts, my soul is full
annacperl+23
REINA DE MI CORAZON
roboticaquatic+48
MameDC+17
Whyyy are there three versions of Billy Joel’s Piano Man in the suggested YouTube videos that come up after I watch this? Sad man is sad.
malloryelis+21
BECAUSE IT’S A PERFECT SONG
MameDC+31
That is exactly correct. But were the web crawlers like, “Hmmm. she mentions bars, and male writers, and whiskey. And as we all know, Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife. These videos are the same.” (I want that to be what they were like). (In my world, web crawlers are tiny, hyper-aware spiders).
kellyography+3
This is one of the best things I have seen in a long, long time.
Melanie+5
Like everyone, I’m in awe of your AMAZING voice. & by GOD, you are beautiful.
thekatriarch+6
Everything about this is perfect and Mallory can we be friends?
bluewindgirl+9
Guys I was THERE. It was JUST LIKE THIS but BETTER because of the sheer force of womanly energies from so many awesome ladies in one place.
RuncibleSpoon+2
Do not not mention the part with the baked goods!
soylouisebrooks+3
THAT VOICE! And the timing! Brilliant
Unreadaethel+18
This video makes me want to be straight, just so I can spontaneously re-discover my queerness.
ladyknight27+18
Petition for Mallory to do a reading of all the Misandrist Lullabies in this voice. I would fall asleep to that on a nightly basis.
teerexington+5
I love the last bookstore!
I thoroughly enjoyed that, and also expected Mallory to have a more gravelly voice entirely made for giving commands.
keythah+6
And then she signed my print-out of the article afterwards, and all was well in the world.
laurenipsum+11
Got two pieces for you
When do we get the other piece?????? DYING
figwiggin+3
DULCET TONES
afreckleddisaster
This was the most perfect thing I have ever heard. *laughing and swimming in male tears*
Sarah+2
Oddly, Mallory’s voice sounds exactly like I thought it would.
Also this was one of my favorite posts.
_laura_m+2
I adore this.
viv+1
your voice is totally awesome!! you should do more readings in the future, whether they’re live like this or just like in front of a webcam :))
Excellent. Mallory is surrounded by laughing women, as is just. Also, I am excited for future incarnations of the “roxane gay is in the background of this video” tag.
Also pamie.com is there! I love that my internet worlds are colliding – pamie and MBTV are the basis of basically my whole internet life and I wish I could’ve been at this reading to see her AND Mallory AND Roxane!
Megadittoes!
Just watching Roxane Gay react is a great video!
Seriously, I have never been so hopeful that a tag will reappear in the future! (Watching her react is amaaazing!)
Mallory, please read me bedtime stories.
I said it last night on Twitter and I’ll say it again: The quick wit and big hair I expected. But the NPR host voice caressing my inner ears? I feel faint.
She said it was mellifluous. I just didn’t know it would be that mellifluous.
It’s even slightly less mellifluous in this recording than it was in the room.
STOP IT, my ears are filling with honey!
All I’m saying is the audio book of texts from jane eyre is going to be good. That’s all I’m sayin.
She’s got a voice like an old movie actress and I want her to read all my books to me forever.
Just don’t ask her to read you the telephone book.
Ah, I just commented the same, but I see you beat me
Lauren Bacall, editing The Toast, right here.
the elegant actress from an old movie accent
Not only are you talented, and funny, and extremely attractive, but you have a charming voice.
Mallory, unless you stop this now I will be forced to leave my husband for the brief, pointless hope that one day you might look at me.
You did great, I laughed out loud many times.
Let’s start a club of women leaving their husbands for a chance at Mallory. NOT THAT I’M DOING THAT OR ANYTHING HA HA HA *dies*
Imagine me on a green sofa, watching this video, laughing, with pink cheeks and bright hearts in my eyes, and a tattoo over my heart that says ‘reserved for Mallory’
Not only that, but she has great taste in cardigans
what could be better than having Roxane Gay laugh at your jokes and love you like that?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD
This is perfect.
Also: goodness, Mallory, do you often use that voice to lure men to their deaths at sea? Because you could, if you wanted to.
Cardigan game: on point.
It looks like the one man in the background is trying not to laugh the whole time, like maybe he Isn’t Allowed to Laugh at These Jokes.
There’s a moment when everyone claps and he sort of half-unfolds his arms and thinks better of it.
You were amazing! Everyone reading was amazing! I didn’t want to approach/bug you but my friend did and you fed her a muffin! Mallory is, and this is official everyone, fantastic.
You are a gifted and marvelous woman with a shockingly lovely voice. I am envious of your audience–I think everything I say/read/think would be better with a crowd of engaged laughing ladies.
omg that voice tho.
lollll i love youtube because i set the comments to strict moderation and there’s a bunch of dudes who want to be able to say “i dont like this your sexism” and “what if i write a poem about GIRL novelists” but they cannnt, all their opinions will be lost to time like tears in rainnn
SMILES HAPPILY
Collect the male tears for an ice bucket* challenge, Mallory.
*You might need an extra bucket for the extra tears/opinions headed your way.
I was WONDERING why there were zero Garbage Male Opinion comments on that video! Why doesn’t everyone moderate the crap out of every YouTube video comment section ever? The internet would be a much happier place.
How many male garbage comments get to appear beneath this video? Zero.
Not even that one guy who complained that he thinks of “white male novelists” as people like Terry Pratchett, and therefore this piece is invalid.
Post them! Post them!
(I obviously mean post them HERE so we can all laugh heartily at them in their foolish ignorance. Not post them on youtube, no one should ever do that.)
I seriously don’t understand why are all comment sections are not moderated. I fucking love moderated comment sections. Every so often I make the mistake of looking at the comments (always on YouTube for some reason. Why? Why do I hurt myself this way?) and it always ends in me actively not punching my computer.
I love moderated comments, because that way I can feel special when my comments are allowed through.
I didn’t even know you could make youtube do that and now I’m so happy.
I also said this last night on Twitter but I think Toasties would appreciate hearing that YouTube decided that the next thing I should watch after Mallory’s jokes was Eddie Izzard doing LOTR jokes.
+1 to all the fangirling about your gorgeous velvety voice.
It’s made of whiskey and cigarette smoke, the kind of voice that could make a man lose his masculine logic and reason and do something stupid, like challenge Sidney Greenstreet to a smarm-off.
you and roxane gay in the same place at the same time!
I cried real tears.
Excellent points (‘450 pages of nothing’ is so dead on!) and excellent voice!
You were VERY funny and should consider doing stand up.
“… super hot?”
[quietly to self, in air-conditioned cubicle] Y…yes…
We are all so lucky to be living in the age of Mallory
Careful, Mallory, or you’re going to end up with FB fan pages and endless Tumblrs devoted to you. 😉
Or maybe that’s all part of your plan?
mallory I have to tell you I have had two romantic dreams about you in which you handwrote annotations on your posts for me
it feels safe to post this now that everyone here is mad crushing too
ahahahahaha
one of my ads for this post is for a craggy-faced Male Novelist who “treats language as carefully as if it were gold”
ahahahahaha
my eyes are hearts, my soul is full
REINA DE MI CORAZON
Whyyy are there three versions of Billy Joel’s Piano Man in the suggested YouTube videos that come up after I watch this? Sad man is sad.
BECAUSE IT’S A PERFECT SONG
That is exactly correct. But were the web crawlers like, “Hmmm. she mentions bars, and male writers, and whiskey. And as we all know, Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife. These videos are the same.” (I want that to be what they were like). (In my world, web crawlers are tiny, hyper-aware spiders).
This is one of the best things I have seen in a long, long time.
Like everyone, I’m in awe of your AMAZING voice. & by GOD, you are beautiful.
Everything about this is perfect and Mallory can we be friends?
Guys I was THERE. It was JUST LIKE THIS but BETTER because of the sheer force of womanly energies from so many awesome ladies in one place.
Do not not mention the part with the baked goods!
THAT VOICE! And the timing! Brilliant
This video makes me want to be straight, just so I can spontaneously re-discover my queerness.
Petition for Mallory to do a reading of all the Misandrist Lullabies in this voice. I would fall asleep to that on a nightly basis.
I love the last bookstore!
I thoroughly enjoyed that, and also expected Mallory to have a more gravelly voice entirely made for giving commands.
And then she signed my print-out of the article afterwards, and all was well in the world.
Got two pieces for you
When do we get the other piece?????? DYING
DULCET TONES
This was the most perfect thing I have ever heard. *laughing and swimming in male tears*
Oddly, Mallory’s voice sounds exactly like I thought it would.
Also this was one of my favorite posts.
I adore this.
your voice is totally awesome!! you should do more readings in the future, whether they’re live like this or just like in front of a webcam :))