Lorelai Gilmore (Phil Gordon)
“Philippa was a lively personage, infamous for her indecision, and loved wherever she went due to her extreme beauty, mirth and comicality.” Sounds about right.
Rory Gilmore (Anne of Green Gables)
A weakness for reading and braids and hypersensitivity.
Paris Gellar (Gilbert Blythe)
I should not have to remind you that Paris and Rory are canon.
Emily Gilmore (Miss Josephine Barry)
She’s not Marilla, that’s for certain. She warms up to her Anne, but that doesn’t set off a chain reaction of warmth and character development. She stays rich, and old, and mostly mean.
Richard Gilmore (Matthew Cuthbert)
MATTHEW.
Luke Danes (Marilla Cuthbert)
HERE is your Marilla. A crusty exterior that belies a gooey, gushing heart? Check. A propensity for womanish reading glasses in later seasons? Check. Talks a big game about NO CELL PHONES and GET OUT FROM BEHIND MY COUNTER SOOKIE but ready to build you a chuppah for your wedding at a moment’s notice? Check, check, and check.
Dean Forester (Diana Barry)
Simple! Simple, pretty, and a little bit of a drip.
Lane Kim (Ruby Gillis)
Both killed off before their time. “Mallory, are you suggesting that early marriage and parenthood is the same thing as dying of consumption?” IT WAS FOR LANE. LANE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN AN ABORTION AND GONE ON TOUR TO EUROPE. I’M SORRY FOR WHAT THEY DID TO YOU, LANE.
Jess Mariano (Josie Pye)
“A classmate generally disliked by the other girls. Josie is vain, dishonest and jealous of Anne’s popularity.”
Sounds.
About.
Right.
Tristan DuGrey (Jen Pringle)
Garden-variety bitches.
Sookie St. James (Muriel Stacey)
Their smiles! Their smiles could turn on the sun, and I love them both, and there is no meanness in either of their hearts.
Taylor Doose (Rachel Lynde)
YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT
Kirk Gleason (I CANNOT FIGURE KIRK OUT, PLEASE HELP)
Christopher Hayden (Royal Gardner/Morgan Harris)
Sort of charming, but as human beings go, unnecessary.
Tags: anne of green gables, books, direct character analogues, gilmore girls, lucy maud montgomery, television
There is no explaining Kirk.
wasn’t there some kind of brain-dead dog or cat in anne of green gables? That would be my vote for kirk.
Or an interpretive dancer? Or a person who holds every job? Or a space alien?
Actually, didn’t she believe in fairies and ghosts in the woods? Because Kirk is perhaps merely, spirits.
Kirk. Charlie Sloane? Gleasonosity could be comparable to Sloanishness.
That was my first thought, too!
I was going to say Charlie Sloane! He’s totally got that Sloanishness down.
This works so well I can’t even. Think of Paris/Gilbert and Rory/Anne and the romantic tension as they compete to be top of the class! The way Dean:Diana just kind of nods along at some of Rory/Anne’s antics, but finds them endearing anyway!
it’s weird because while I ship Anne/Diana, I ship Rory/Paris; in one instance I’m like RORY NEEDS AN EQUAL and in the other it’s like ANNE JUST NEEDS SUPPORT, so sorry for my inconsistencies i guess
The past is another country, and you get a different spouse for each country you visit, right?
Kirk=Moody Spurgeon McPherson?
ooooh I was going with at least a little Charlie Sloane, but this is really good
This is glorious. However, my biggest takeaway is…KIRK HAD A LAST NAME?
I’ll just be over here, reassembling my brain.
THIS IS MY EVERYTHING. Seriously wonderful. And I agree, there is no explaining Kirk, and truly no need.
Nobody can figure Kirk out, it’s okay.
I constantly mourn for Lane.
HOW COULD THEY
Ah I would have pegged Logan as Royal but yeah Christopher is like that too
Kirk is ????? Rebecca Dew? Maybe?
Got it: Kirk is the grown-up version of Davy Keith, a sweet man-child who always gets into trouble but nonetheless has great respect for Rory/Anne.
OH WAIT YEAH
this is perfect.
MATTHEW.
MATTHEW. /weeps
I reread all the books this spring, mostly on my commute, and I DEFINITELY had a major ugly cry on the bus about Matthew.
Reading AoGG for the first time, my partner told me how much he loved Matthew and how he wanted to be like him. I didn’t know what to say.
Just had to catch my breath. MATTHEW.
Kirk is Davy and Lulu is Dora. Kirk’s relationship with Taylor and Luke is much like Davy’s with Rachel and Marilla. Davy & Kirk are both getting into crazy situations for comic relief. Lulu and Dora are their unbelievably sweet and annoyingly angelic counterparts.
MALLORY. HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOWN MY DEEPEST LOVES FROM CHILDHOOD/EARLY TEENAGENESS AND COMBINED THEM IN SUCH A WAY?! You are a Sorceress of the Highest Power.
Also, I may or may not have legitimately teared up at work at “MATTHEW” and your perfect description of Muriel Stacy/Sookie St. James. I frequently get Ms. Stacy’s warm-throated “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it” stuck in my head on tough days.
I will never not be angry about what happens to Lane.
Guys I never watched Gilmore Girls, am I missing out on a major cultural touchstone??? Should I just find solace in the fact that I at least watched this Anne of Green Gables series because I Am Canadian??? Where does Road to Avonlea fit into this??? I NEED ASSISTANCE.
I’ve only just started watching Gilmore Girls because everyone started talking about it once it got put on Netflix. I’m enjoying it but it won’t become my favorite show or anything. I think it’s one of those things that if you watched it at a particular age during your formative years it’s probably a major touchstone.
I on the other hand have never seen or read Anne of Green Gables so I might be kicked off the toast??
Jumping into this late, but I just starting watching Gilmore Girls (because of this post/the current general excitement about Gilmore Girls) and it might be the cutest show ever? The writing is unrealistic in that super-quippy 2000s-y way, and it’s a show for teenagers so you don’t get Adult Stressed about things the characters are doing, which makes it ideal for casual watching. Plus you get to revisit this post as you watch, gaining deeper insight as you go along!
I keep catching myself singing the theme song and trying to sneak lines from the show into conversation.
Yeah, I started in with the Netflix launch. And it’s definitely (as an adult) Not Very Good but also Extremely Pleasant. So it’s kinda my “hide from everything” and/or “watch while cooking/cleaning” show.
But then, halfway into the first season or so, I had to admit I genuinely enjoy watching it. But I’m also annoyed by the “not very good” part. It’s a weird feeling, and I’m even more torn than when I watch, say, Scandal. (Because that’s at least a high-speed trainwreck.)
this is…perfect.
(matthewwwwww)
WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT MORGAN HARRIS
THANK YOU. My mother-in-law gave me the box set of all 3 Anne series. I cannot re-watch the 2nd series (Morgan Harris? NO.) and will not watch the 3rd series based on the horrifying description on the back of the DVD case.
“The Continuing Story”? I caught bits of it on TV and indeed, it’s pretty horrifying.
I just imagine the producers sitting around in a haze of whiskey and cigar smoke, saying, “Hey, I know that in the books, Anne and Gilbert are middle-aged with adult children by the time the First World War rolls around, but how about we sex up this franchise by making them 20-somethings during the SECOND World War, even though there is absolutely no legitimate reason for this to happen?”
“Okay, but only if we make things even stupider by introducing a side plot that requires Anne to dress up as a nun in order to steal a baby from the Nazis.”
“SOLD!”
I recognize the validity in your argument but my heart is swayed by Gilbert Blythe in uniform every time. EVERY TIME.
This is hot:
This is a HOT MESS:
My reaction to reading the post: “Who the hell is Morgan Harris?”
Jess IS NOT Josie Pye, that is ridiculous. Jess is really more of a Paul Irving.
Now I hate Paul Irving.
Miss Patty is Rebecca Dew, and Babette is Aunt Chatty.
I always thought Tristan was criminally underused. Tristan 4EVA.
That’s because Chad Michael Murray left to go be on One Tree Hill.
Kirk = Charlotta the 4th?
Wait no the twins, both twins at once.
Goddddd, I have always hated the twins in a way that makes me feel a little guilty. They’re supposed to be lovable! I want to erase them from my books. You may be right, but I don’t hate Kirk the same way.
I hate Dora because she’s so damn boring, but Davey will always have a place in my heart, if only for the bit where he declares that there will be plenty of jam in heaven because the catechism says that “God makes preserves, and redeems us.”
Susan Baker is Kirk.
I thought she was more of a Michel.
This post makes me the happiest because in addition to validating the canonical truth that Paris/Rory is canon, it explains why I always really shipped Anne/Josie. If only Josie had gotten to be a deep beat-reading hipster who won Anne over (temporarily) in spite of her best efforts to resist! Alas. At least Paris/Rory is canon. *Paris/Rory is canon!!!!!!*
Kirk is old Uncle Abe Andrews from Anne of Avonlea who’s always making inaccurate weather predictions.
I am rewatching this for the first time since I originally watched it on TV. I’m realizing 1) how upsettingly much my image of what was cool and how I wanted to be was formed by Rory, as someone one year younger than her (I read her books! I tried to like her music!), and 2) how off-putting so many people seem to me as an adult. Rory is the worst. Lorelai is the worst, though I sort of get it with her and I still like her. Even Jess, who I had thought was so hot, turns out to be the worst. I never don’t wish Dean would just die every time he’s on screen. I still like it for it’s many awesome secondary characters and nostalgia and occasional heart-warmingness, but I’m really dreading getting beyond season 3.
Lorelai lost me somewhere in Season 5. At some point, her quirks just became bullshit nonsense that no rational person would ever want to put up with. So much of my sympathy ended up with Emily that I can’t even watch the later seasons. I got rid of all my DVDs, except Season 1, which shall ever remain perfection
Lucy and Olivia = Priscilla and Stella (cool girls just thrown in to prove that the protagonist has the ability to make more than 1 friend)
April = Little Elizabeth
Cool old woman who ran the Independence Inn = Miss Lavendar
Speaking of Lane’s “death,” not only was it terrible that she got killed by twins and had to give up her rock’n’roll dreams (a huge fear of mine, so maybe I’m projecting a little), she also ONLY GOT TO HAVE SEX ONCE and IT WAS TERRIBLE and then they never talked about if she ever enjoyed it again.
Sorry to be all “go sex” all the time, but Lane deserved a second chance at something she might have enjoyed. Damn it.
I love this so much…
Except for the Richard Gilmore – Matthew thing. I’m watching again and Richard can just be so terrible. Actually, so many of the male characters on Gilmore Girls are just the worst so Richard doesn’t look so bad because he’s only kind of the worst. He’s no Matthew though.
Agree agree agree with Lorelai and Philippa.
Just watched the one where he’s a complete dick to Dean at Rory’s special dinner. He turns so nasty in that one.
My boyfriend is watching Gilmore Girls for the first time with me, and his complaint is that Richard is one of the most-inconsistent characters on the show (i.e. he goes from being sweet and Matthew-like to a complete dick with no reasonable explanation)
Cant’ wait till seasons 4- the end of time, when Richard has his Three Quarter Life Crisis that neveeer ends.
I am watching GG for the first time right now (and rereading Rilla of Ingleside; it’s The Toast’s fault) and I love this so much that I don’t mind at all that I accidentally found out about Lane’s tragic fate.
As much as I ship Paris/Rory and would love to see Paris as Gilbert, I just can’t, because Paris is Katherine Brooke from the tip of her head to the end of her toes. KATHERINE BROOKE. If there’s a gayer character in all of the Anneverse, PRODUCE HER. Katherine is the BEST. She hates men! She hates Anne, too! But then she doesn’t hate Anne anymore! She actually has a lot of feelings about Anne that she has trouble expressing! And then she travels around the world, presumably still hating men! I like to think she returns every few years to stay with Anne and Gilbert, gazing meaningfully at Anne over needlepoint.
Also, please read this fanfic about Katherine Brooke immediately, it is delightful and makes my heart sing in four part harmony: http://archiveofourown.org/works/604189
Oh, I found that a while ago and LOVED it.
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“‘Oh, I see. A seasonable outburst of charity. I’m hardly a candidate for that yet, Miss Shirley.’
Anne got up. She was out of patience with this strange, aloof creature. She walked across the room and looked Katherine squarely in the eye. ‘Katherine Brooke, whether you know it or not, what you want is a good spanking.’
They gazed at each other for a moment.
‘It must have relieved you to say that,’ said Katherine. But somehow the insulting tone had gone out of her voice. There was even a faint twitch at the corner of her mouth.”
I feel like we all know what happens next.
And then Anne gets her a PUPPY for CHRISTMAS after pre-emptively bullying her landlady into letting her keep a dog in her room <3
Also, as a slightly related PS, it will never stop being kind of weird to me that Katherine Brook was played by the same actress who played Aunt Abigail in Road to Avonlea.
You are absolutely correct.
On my death bed (one where not even Sookie’s risotto could bring me back), with my last breath, I will look into the eyes of my beloved and whisper,
“Taylor Doose. WHAT A FUCK.”
I’m going to be frozen beside Ted Williams, and when they thaw me out I’ll ask “How’s Ted?” and then I’ll say “Taylor, no!”.
(Yes I’ve memorized that rant. It’s the best thing ever.)
I hate that jerkwad so freaking much. SO MUCH.
Somewhere there must be a script for, or a draft, or just a set of notes, for an episode where Lane gets an abortion. It would make sense for her character arc, and for the show in general, to depict this scenario. Alas, ABC “family” TV would never had allowed it.
Alternately, if there was ever a new Gilmore Girls show, I think it would make sense for it to have Lane as the protagonist, once again showing an unconventional mother/daughter relationship, this time with a working musician as a parent.
In fact, that’s what I loved about Bunheads, Amy Sheridan Palladino’s most recent show: both the main characters were prominent artists in their youth, contending with life as older devotées of a vocation that values youth over experience. It had great potential, a variety of complex characters, and some terrific dance numbers.
Kirk is totally Minnie May Barry. Childish, annoying, spilling the beans about Gilbert Blythe’s illness at just the wrong moment…
But I think Lane is really Emmeline Harris (sweet, smart, but severely limited by her old fashioned, overprotective guardians).
Totally agree that Luke is Marilla.
Kirk can just play every extra character in the Anne stories.
Kirk is young Mary Vance, chasing small children around the village with an enormous salted cod.
I love how with each new “Kirk” suggestion, I can’t help but nod forcefully. “Yes!” I think, at each new name, “Yes, that fits perfectly!” Kirk is legion.
Admittedly it's been a while since I rewatched the Marty episodes, but he was only a real creep in Season 7, and Season 7 is an all-round travesty. Also, Marty being a creep later on doesn't make it okay that Logan and his cronies constantly belittled him because he wasn't the same class as them. It was kind of shitty of him to stop being friends with Rory after she told him she liked Logan instead (though that's TV for you, no need for superfluous love interests) but I can also see why he'd make that decision seeing as Logan et al. are essentially bullies and from that moment on Rory only hangs out with them and occasionally Paris.
I'm Team Marty! (Just not Season 7 Marty or Rory/Marty)
Taylor Doose = Rachel Lynde = Maurice Minnifield. There’s one in every small town, I guess.
I think this might be the greatest thing I’ve ever read.
No I’m sorry. You make some good points in his favor but I still really do not have time for Marty. Marty is a classic Nice Guy. She’s not interested and he’s lurky and eternally hopeful and sort of a bummer. Also if you re-watch, he’s basically a human shaped shell- they never give him a real personality. Marty has nothing but bartending, always creepin on Rory and Duck Soup.
Logan is definitely a jerk to Marty which is one of the many reasons he’s no good, but the way Marty puts up with it is illustrative of Marty’s eternal passitivity. Yale in 2001 is not actually 1920, and he’s not actually indentured, and I’m sorry, if you want to make me feel bad about the class system at yale, the temporary college poverty of a white dude, compared to the super wealth of a different white dude isn’t going to cut it.
Also I’m sorry, but Marty was cruel to Krysten Ritter, and even if that only happened in the atrocious season 7, I will never never forgive anyone for being evil to Krysten Ritter.
In all fairness, the more times I re-watch the less I like Rory, so I think maybe she always deserved Marty all along.
I’m like… she’s not even stretching, these are just perfect and right and why has it taken this long for the world to see and understand?
Jen Pringle is fabulously clever and green-eyed and becomes a dear friend of Anne’s (who later gets engaged to someone she meets at a party Anne hosts at Ingleside because LMM was trying hard for continuity). I can only attribute this slander to Mallory’s admitted not having read Windy Poplars.
WINDY POPLARS!!1!!!!!!!
ahem.
To be fair, Tristan surprises and kind of redeems himself just before he leaves for One Tree Hill, so… maybe that makes the comparison still work?
Kirk is CLEARLY Charlie Sloane. And the rest of this is just GENIUS.
brb, rereading my Anne books again…
Jess is a garbage human and at least Josie Pye became passively distant and therefore less garbage as she got older. Jess is the worst. I spent a lot of time trying to think about who he is in Avonlea/Ingleside, and the only thing I can come up with is that he is the person who sent Walter Blythe a white feather, shaming him into going to war, where he was killed. I wish Jess was killed.
Also, Richard Gilmore is too terrible to be Matthew, because Matthew is an angel and deserves better. Richard Gilmore is that old man who moved into Mrs. Lynde’s house and was an old coot for a while but Anne wore him down and it turned out he had a heart of gold, but he was still kind of an old coot, and he liked bothering Rachel Lynde.
“As human beings go unnecessary” is my new favorite phrase.
I have it! Kirk is the jersey cow that kept jumping the fence and then Anne sold to Mr Blythe later in the film. Was its name Daisy? I can’t remember…
Essie is Kirk
I agree
Kirk is that sea captain who tells stories and does a bit of everything. Captain Jim?
Mr. Harrison is Richard! He and Anne eventually become friends, but she always has to ignore some of his more obnoxious ideas.
Lorelai lost me somewhere in Season 5. At some point, her quirks just became bullshit nonsense that no rational person would ever want to put up with. So much of my sympathy ended up with Emily that I can't even watch the later seasons. I got rid of all my DVDs, except Season 1, which shall ever remain perfection
You are absolutely correct.