Grégoire Delacourt is the saddest Frenchman in the world. He wrote a book that is not about Scarlett Johansson, and Scarlett Johansson took him to court for it.
Delacourt told Le Figaro that he chose to include Johansson in his novel because she worked as a stand-in for today’s archetype of female beauty, and that using her name allowed him to make a statement about the way modern romantic fantasies are affected by the pervasiveness of celebrity culture. But, he stressed, his heroine was decidedly not meant to actually be Scarlett Johansson. (Delacourt also told the newspaper that he thought the actress had probably not read the book, which has not been translated into English.)
For his part, Delacourt is “stupified,” saying, ”I wrote a work of fiction. My character is not Scarlett Johansson…I thought she might send me flowers as [the book] was a declaration of love for her, but she didn’t understand it at all. It’s a strange paradox – but a very American one.”
I can’t tell you how much this simple, misinformed man tears at my heart! He wrote a French novel featuring a Scarlett Johansson lookalike, and he hoped Scarlett Johansson herself might send him flowers as a token of appreciation.
I cannot help but picture it: this man who has never married, who lives in a building of decaying dignity in a once-grand neighborhood, who enjoys a cup of chocolate, hot, at four in the afternoon. He writes a neat little book about a beautiful woman.
Perhaps Scarlett Johansson will send me flowers, he thinks as he checks his change drawer to see if he has enough money to buy cigarettes today. She will not want to meet me, of course — that is hoping for too much — but perhaps she will be amused, and a little touched, and she will send me a batch of flowers that she herself has picked out. Perhaps she will tell her assistant No, I will pick the flowers out myself, for the French man who understands me. Perhaps she will even use the phone to call me and tell me how much she appreciated my book, my little absurd gift.
Because Delacourt’s book used Johansson as an archetype of physical beauty, he thought she would enjoy it; he thought she might “get in contact to ask me to go for a coffee.”
It had arrived, hadn’t it? He had thought most carefully about the direction. Scarlett Johansson. Hollywood L.A. America. How could it not have arrived? Anyone who read those words would know for whom the package was meant.
Perhaps she was reading it even now. Perhaps she was thinking of how best to thank him for his little tribute — nothing really, simply a polite touch of the cap delivered in her direction, simply the acknowledgement a beauty like hers was due — and was even now signing personally, with her own hand, a charming note of thanks. Perhaps no one before had told her she was beautiful, and she would be moved by his words.
Perhaps she was making ready to call him right now.
Tags: books, copyright infringement, expectations, news, publishing, scarlett johansson
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Ms. Johansson said she would buy the flowers herself.
You win today’s – nay, this year’s – internet.
hahahahahaahahaha
Can I say how absurdly happy I am that the Black Widow was the photo for this? I’m just imagining HER responding to his tragically well-intentioned book. Natasha Romanoff Is Not Amused.
OHHHH MY GOD MEN. WHAT. MEN. WHAT ARE YOU. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY DO YOU THINK WOMEN OWE YOU SO GODDAMNED MUCH. I just, what, I can’t. You wrote some book essentially using her as an archetypal object representing modern beauty standards and you think she should be so flattered by this that she will want to send you flowers and go on a coffee date. No. No no no. NO. I am laughing at this sad, sad Frenchman but honest to god the dudely entitlement behind everything he is saying makes my blood run cold. Women owe you nothing, even if you decide to pay them the supreme compliment of your manly attentions, you asshat. Women owe you nothing. I feel like I need to invent some kind of machine that will broadcast this message directly into every man’s head 24/7. Christ on a CRACKER.
I know we say this a lot around here because we are all fantastically witty and smart, but “Women owe you nothing” would make a great T shirt.
I would basically never take off that T shirt if I had it. Should probably just skip straight to a tattoo actually.
This dude wrote AN ENTIRE BOOK hoping that it would lead, via some Rube Goldberg device of passive seduction, to Scarlett Johansson boning him. This is something a particularly sad, dweeby 6th grade boy would dream up, but the 6th grade boy would at least not actually write the book.
Reading about this I kept thinking of this great blog article I read (which I can’t search for on my work computer unfortunately) that argued that there are lots of men who basically see women as puzzle boxes they have to use friendship to unlock in order to get sex, and that this is the attitude behind the concept of the friend zone. It was really interesting – she was basically approaching the whole issue from a gaming perspective. Your comment about a “Rube Goldberg device of passive seduction” (which is a great turn of phrase, by the way) reminded me of that.
She’s probably the type that’s too good to smile and wave when men make shrill, whistlelike noises in her direction. Just who does she think she is???
Extra points for the wonderfully unironic use of Christ on a CRACKER.
The best way this wold be a very American paradox is that if she secretly loved the book and was just suing to bring it more press and increase the sales.
The article says that she probably wouldn’t have a case in the US. So I guess it’s now very American to adapt well to the circumstances and culture and laws of other countries when dealing with things that happen in those other countries.
If it’s “very American” to consider yourself a human being and not a horny French dude’s symbolic sex toy and to shrewdly protect the copyright on your very lucrative name, then I am damn proud to be American right now.
look, it isn’t even about her.
I mean it’s her name, and her form,
I hoped she’d hear about it, and learn French, and hear my every word as a whisper on her neck.
but it’s isn’t about her.
Eew eew eew so creepy!!!!!
This man’s tears are absolutely delicious to me, but I can’t help but be utterly fucking baffled by men. You know, again.
They seem genuinely upset when their Achievements fail to unlock a particular vagina of their choosing. As though we’re all sex robots with Japanese puzzle boxes attached.
They are delicious tears. I want more of them.
Ha! Oh wow I’m so used to the formation of “Man-Tears” that I had read this line like 4 times
“I can’t tell you how much this simple, misinformed man tears at my heart!”—
before I parsed ‘tears’ as a verb…
I’ve spent two years trying to open this stupid puzzle box, and apparently it was all for nothing? This is bullshit.
Well now I really feel weird about my Ina Garten/Barefoot Contessa Slumber Party fiction piece I sent Nicole.
I mean, I wasn’t expecting a roasted chicken from Ina, by any means.
I want to read this so badly it hurts.
I even got T.R. in there!!!
Please publish this immediately. I want this more than I want my next breath.
Why are men so entitled
why
NOT ALL ME**explodes**
But of all the Hollywood actresses to hopefully seduce with your literary adoration, why would you choose the one who’s gotten borderline-sexual reviews from every male film critic and body judgement from every gossip rag? At least pick somebody whom you might have the slightest chance in hell with.
As entitled as men feel to women’s bodies, they feel twice as entitled to FAMOUS women’s bodies. They’re out there, in the public eye! For ME, presumably!
Ugh, this. A few weeks ago I was listening to a quiz show on NPR and Scarlett Johansson was one of the guests. She was charming and witty, but I found myself cringing during the entire segment she took part in because all the men on the show were being SUCH CREEPY BASTARDS to her. No joke, the subtext of almost every word they spoke to her was “Have I already mentioned my boner?” It was sickening that they felt entitled to talk to her like that.
The very worst part was when the host asked her to recount being sexually assaulted by Isaac Mizrahi. Roughly paraphrased, his question went “Teehee! All in a day’s work for such a foxy lady, eh, Scarlett?”
>.<
Because being groped by some rando is soooo flattering and hilarious.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Ugh that segment made me so uncomfortable and ultimately angry, because I was so excited that she was on the show and sometimes their interviews are great (although I will admit they tend to get trapped in repetitions of the same joke fairly often), and then it turned out to be that.
“You … think I’m … pretty?” [blushes, lowers eyelids in wonderment, digs toe in dirt]
-Not Scarlett Johansson, ever
Except when she’s Black Widow. Then she kicks some asses.
He later says he assumed she wouldn’t read it because it wasn’t translated into English.
She’s engaged to a Frenchman. She lives part-time in France.
But she’s a lady… of course she wouldn’t learn the language when she could just rely on her French fiance to do all the tricky talking, reading, and communicating!
He could also do all the menu reading and pricing for her!
Err… that probably has more to do with his view of Americans than women…
A court summons! She does care! [clutches letter to chest]
Too bad I got all my Benedict Cumberbatch/self fan fiction writing out of my system before becoming a world-renowned author.
(ETA: AHHHHHHHHH. How rude of me! Nicole, do you mind sharing???)
HEY DOLL
Howdy! 🙂
it’s not about you! it was a declaration of love to you, but it wasn’t about you!
hint: it’s about my penis.
This article is amazingly funny and made me feel the tiniest glimmer of sympathy for this man, but I think my initial impression of him as a Certified Creeper is more likely to be correct. Like, the French National Board of Creeper Authorities has his Creep License on record from AT LEAST 1992.
My book, which is not at all about Scarlett Johansson, the heroine of which is decidedly not Scarlett Johansson, is a declaration of my love for Scarlett Johansson, and I am shocked that Scarlett Johansson does not reciprocate my feelings.
I wonder if this is an issue of the words coming across as much creepier in translation. He also said this, according to Google Translate:
“I was stunned. I did not expect at all. All this seemed huge. Especially since I’m not sure she read the book. It is not translated!”
http://www.lefigaro.fr/livres/2013/06/07/03005-20…
Which sounds a lot more grounded.
Mallory, I love you, but this one kind of misses the point. The quoted author was making an ironic/bitter joke after losing a dubious intellectual property judgement that sets a disturbing precedent for fair use in France.
As the reports point out “The heroine of La Première Chose qu’On Regarde is Janine Foucamprez, a small-time model from northern France whose life is blighted by her resemblance to Miss Johansson.” Another elaborates: “In fact, she looks so much like the actress that, when the story’s male lead (who looks like Ryan Gosling) first meets her, he thinks he’s looking at Johansson herself.”
This is fair use in the US and, until this ruling, in France: >>In the U.S., [a novel] would not be considered a commercial use…If her name or likeness is relevant, literarily, if there’s significance and literary merit to using her name between the covers, the First Amendment steps in….In Europe, Jassin says, personality rights are taken “much more seriously.” As Le Figaro has noted, French courts have typically been lenient with novelists who have been sued, but some recent cases have deviated from that pattern, finding that uses of real people as characters have constituted invasions of privacy…This case is different, as Johansson is not a character in the book, but the area of law is related.<<
As the author points out: “If an author can no longer mention the things that surround us, a brand of beer, a monument, an actor … it’s going to be complicated to produce fiction…It’s stupefying, especially as I’m not sure she’s even read the novel since it hasn’t been translated yet.”
If it had been a woman who lost a judgement against Ryan Gosling for having a character described as looking like him, I suspect the flowers and coffee comments would be read as ironic and a joke. The snark would be directed at a celebrity demanding money because a text only character is described as looking like them. Sometimes the easy snark is not the smart snark, even if it fits our gender assumptions.
Well, damn. That all sounds nuanced and crappy and like I’d have to read a book in French to have an informed opinion on the underlying issues.
I will say, though, it’s not just gender assumptions. There’s also, for me, a whole lot of years of experience with dudes giving me things I don’t want and then expecting that to somehow…”work”, because that kind of entitlement is a cultural norm here. Don’t know about France.
Nothing about the very reasonable argument you have made about why this decision is bad law refutes the entitled air behind this guy’s comments. I submit that had a woman put a Ryan Gosling lookalike in a novel, lost the same lawsuit, and then said, “I thought maybe he would take me out for coffee or send me flowers,” she would be derided (not here, but elsewhere–cough gawker cough) as a pathetic, delusional, celeb-addled dingbat.
Plus, humor is sometimes not very fair. (I mean, gosh, those poor monks.) Especially not to arcane points of copyright law.
I think either way I just sort of didn’t get the same chortles from it (which, duh, humor’s subjective) because female dingbat too (which I would mostly just like, eat my knuckles in oh I don’t want to read this on ye old Gawks), the copyright stuff is sort of important? Maybe it’s that I’m still bitter about how her role in Ghost World is really important to me and young!me, but that Sodastream shit I could not abide and it sort of broke my heart. 🙁 So why am I commenting? Who knows!
Thing is, representing beauty-compliant young white women as inherently shallow, “difficult,” needy, or in some way morally and intellectually lacking is typical male novelist behavior. Selecting a famous woman as the inspiration for one’s Pretty Vacant Female Pro/Antagonist is particularly shitty, and whinging afterwards about how ungrateful she is (she should be pleased, apparently?) when he’s done nothing to change the discourse, needs no added nuance or extra lashings of sympathy. The joke is a tired one on multiple levels (within and without the fiction): ha ha, this pretty object is stupid and when I impose my desires on her, she is insufficiently flattered, dumb bitch who doesn’t get the grand joke I’m telling.
The guy sounds like a douchebag, and the book sounds distinctly ill-advised. I think that’s been said well enough and often enough that I don’t need to elaborate.
But doesn’t it bother anyone that it is now apparently illegal (in France) to say that a character in a novel looks like a real person, because apparently it constitutes “using their likeness”? In a *novel*? That is Godawful legal precedent, and it quite overshadows some dude getting a comeuppance.
i was really annoyed by this guy but now i’m really sad for him
i’m also trying to figure out which modern novelist “you write a book that is secretly a love letter to a famous actress. you hope that she will send you flowers. she sues” is a sign that you are in a book by
It’s Bruce Wagner.
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/1/18…
If it's "very American" to consider yourself a human being and not a horny French dude's symbolic sex toy and to shrewdly protect the copyright on your very lucrative name, then I am damn proud to be American right now.
Howdy! 🙂