Friday Bargain Bin

by Jane Marie · June 3, 2016

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Tufted Jellyfish Rug, $799.95 (was $998) We’re gonna spend a lot of imaginary money today, ready? Let’s start with this jellyfish rug for the playroom! So expensive, yet so impractically off-white. Why not get a pair?

image4xxlTHIS IS A DRESS, $26 (was $52) At first I thought this was just a skirt. It’s not!

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Smashbox Art. Love. Color. Master Class, $39 (was $65; $300 value) Read the reviews. It’s just hundreds of people complimenting themselves for making such a wise purchase. Must be nice.

C0860_BK0001J. Crew Giant Leather Mom Purse, $69.99 (was $178) Not bad for a giant leather mom purse.

503260401_product_1Alex Marshall Mug, $18 (was $34) Speaking of homemade-looking mugs, I’m going back to pottery class after a three year break on June 28th. What are you doing this summer?

JB-29070334_bJane Basch Block Letter Necklace, $150 (was $300) Only the ‘E’ and ‘D’ are left, so hopefully your name is Ed.

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A Nice Hat, $21 with code “FORME,” (was $34.95) This is a nice hat. You can sit on it and nothing terrible happens.

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 6.48.52 AMCapezio Hipster Shorts, $5.99 (were $25) I wear these around the house all summer. They are so comfy and also kind of gently suggestive, but in a classy way. If only there were someone to suggest something to.

collectors-serveware-animal-oWest Elm Collector’s Edition Serveware, $7.99 (were $12) Why are there so many dishes? How often do you buy new dishes? Same for bedding. Discuss.

38199600_005_aVines of Ivy Chainmail Purse, $299.95 (was $398) Insert some Game of Thrones reference. Is there chainmail in that universe? Dunno; don’t watch it. *ducks*

 

Jane Marie is a writer, mother, fighter and lover.

136 Comments

  1. MopRocks +79

    TBH, I’m totally here for that rug. It’s kind of Gustav Klimt-y? I dig it.

    1. CleverManka +23

      If I hadn’t just registered for the year-long yoga teacher training class, I could afford that rug and I’m not gonna lie I’d have been sorely tempted.

    2. ughanothername +23

      Honestly, if I could afford an $800 rug right now I’d totally be buying it. I don’t even know where it’d go in my house. I’d find a place.

    3. kalat1979 +33

      I want that rug so much. My cats would vomit on it all the time and it would cause me nothing but heartache, but I WANT IT.

      1. MopRocks +13

        Right? I want to put it in my bathroom even though I know my cat would slobber and shed all over it.

        1. WallisWallyOlly +32

          I’m saving this pic for whenever any of my coworkers asking me why I’ve drafted a legal document differently from how they think I should have drafted it.

    5. Ivans_Sister +8

      A friend of mine recently got an octopus rug that looks great in her living room, so this is similarly tempting.

    6. tremonenta +11

      Completely here for the rug. That is one of the least practical rugs I have ever seen, I have a German Shepherd who is currently blowing her coat and who looks like she’s afflicted with mange, and yet still I covet it.

      1. MopRocks +12

        Someone in another thread suggested incorporating the inevitable stains as part of the rug. Perhaps it would not be hunks of winter coat, but rather, hunks of downy sea-ash?

    7. bocadelperro +13

      My in laws downsized last year. Every inch of my dwelling is covered in gorgeous rugs, and we have more rolled up under the bed. I still covet that rug.

    8. slankettt +19

      The rug’s artist has an etsy page where she sells prints (including the octojellyfish) for much more affordable prices. The shop is called UnitedThread. I’ve long been an admirer of her work but haven’t ordered anything…. yet.

    9. dreamingintrees +6

      I love it! If I hadn’t purchased a rug with many tentacles on it literally last night, it would be mine. But probably I should only have one many-tentacled rug in my home?

  2. catweazlol +138

    I have been looking for a classy way to announce my struggles with erectile dysfunction to the world…

  3. MustacheDad +85

    Yeah for pottery! I have been going for a few years and my thing is mean mugs – big ol’ coffee mugs with swear words on them. I just made one that has the letters “UNT” in black on the front of the mug, next to the C-shaped black handle. Heheh.

  4. Iris +6

    Thank you for the image of the flamingo plate, which i just bought for Father’s Day. that’s right up dad’s ballpark.

  5. winterbymorning +14

    There’s a shirt dress at Talbots that I really like (in black). It’s $200 CAD which is absurd for a fairly plain cotton dress, but surprisingly, I’ve had 0 success finding anything comparable in local stores. All other shirt dresses I’ve seen so far which are less expensive either don’t have a full skirt or they’re long-sleeved or they’re just plain ugly. I’m really baffled by this shirt dress drought. Does anyone have any suggestions? I’m in Ottawa, which isn’t exactly a shopping mecca but is still big enough to have a decent range of stores.

    (There are some super cute shirt dresses at Nordstrom but they’re the Ivanka Trump brand and I just can’t *wails, gnashes teeth*)

    2. MopRocks +13

      Here! This code should make it 25% off and free shipping. “032493639” Stick it in the “offer code” box at checkout. That dress is too cute for you to not have it.

      ETA: It’s a 1 item code, so I’m not sure how other items in your basket may affect it.

      1. winterbymorning +7

        Thank you! I’m going to make one last attempt to find an alternative at the mall and if not, I’ll go with the code 🙂

    4. Bostonienne80 +6

      Try eshakti.com! They do great cotton dresses, and they’ll custom fit them for a little more cash (I forget how much; it used to be like $7 but they’ve raised it). So worth it! I’m a big fan of a fit-and-flare, and they have tons of that. http://www.eshakti.com/ProductList.aspx?category=… I’m not seeing anything exactly like the Talbots one, but there’s some cute stuff. (I swear I am not a spambot and this is not an ad, I just happen to like eshakti.)

    5. katerkins +5

      Before they vanity-sized my mum out of their store, her entire wardrobe came from Talbots. She’s still wearing some things 25+ years later and they look almost new. I don’t know about their current quality standards, but if its anything close to what they used to make, I say go for it and you will have that dress forever/until you get sick of it

    6. theminutiae +2

      Oh man, that Talbots dress is exactly what I want, but $200…

      This Anthro one is really pretty, but it is also overpriced and does not come in black: http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/41300…

  6. viviennestreet +16

    I basically never buy dishes, unless the ones I have break/deteriorate so much that I must buy more. My last purchase was several plates from IKEA.

    I buy bedding whenever my flannel sheets lose most of their fluff. I should probably own something other than flannel sheets for the summer, but it has not happened yet. (My mom likes flannel sheets, possibly because she is always cold. It’s all we ever had.)

    1. ayelltee +5

      I buy lots of (inexpensive and always-in-stock) drinking glasses from Crate & Barrel, since Spouse is heavy handed and chips/cracks stuff. I’m still using the same set of everyday dishes purchased in the early 90s from Bed Bath, though I’m short a few cereal bowls. Bedding gets purchased whenever my white sheets get too dingy-yellowy.

      1. viviennestreet +1

        I am terrible with glass drinking glasses! Inevitably, I knock them over and break them. I generally use plastic cups which, while not high in class, are at least high in durability!

    2. SarcasticFringehead +4

      I strongly recommend microfiber sheets, because they feel soft like flannel (if less fluffy), but they’re much cooler. I bought some by accident (they were the first available sheets that fit what I was looking for and I was like sure, why not) and they’re the best thing I’ve done for my living space in quite a while.

      1. alder_tree +1

        One of my life goals is high-count rayon/tencel sheets. I get so overheated at night but I love the weight of sheets/blankets.

  7. RunGracieRun +22

    That chainmail purse was the BEST birthday gift for my bestie … until I saw the price. Sadface.

      1. VioletandIrises +5

        Ooooh I like the thinkgeek one even better. But I feel like it would give me an unearned sense of invulnerability and then I’d get robbed or something (not sure if the two go hand in hand; it just sounds like something the universe would do).

  8. Houstonian +14

    The idea of sitting on that rug makes me very uncomfortable. SO MANY TENTACLES

  9. TheasyPeasy +49

    I love dressing in a classy and gently suggestive way around the house, even when I have nary a prospect on the horizon (I have too many now and I LOVE IT). It just makes me feel so good and also I need those shorts for dance class.

    So thank you!

  10. suzynjackson +37

    I tend to think of any and all rugs in terms of therapists’ offices, maybe because I’ve spent substantially more time looking at the rug than ANY OTHER ASPECT of any therapist’s office, and I feel like the rug is an important aspect of the work. I would not put this octopus guy in a therapist’s office.

    But I WILL go to pottery class with you.

    The hat gets points for coming in sizes, but neither of those sizes is XL, so… 🙁

    1. bighairnoheart +30

      The suffering of those of us blessed with big heads and/or hair is very real.

    2. lemonack +10

      Sometimes I think if academia doesn’t work out, I’d like to be an interior decorator for therapists’ offices. Designing a space to be soothing and calm seems like a good thing to do with one’s life.

      1. suzynjackson +8

        There’s all sorts of interesting stuff to learn at the intersection of design and psychology. The effects of different colors on mood, etc.? Isn’t there even a chapter on office design on that wonderful book on introversion that I’m forgetting the name of right now? (Quiet – thanks, Google)

        *This is where I go – hey, maybe I should get that master’s in human-computer interaction that I was looking at. And then I go: Technology, feh! And then I go back to my Tech job…

  11. emmysuhweeks +2

    NONE of the pictures are loading for me? Which I’m sure is a ME, connectivity issue here at work but I REALLY WANTED TO OGLE PRETTY THINGS because today is not going great.

  12. Born_Secular +59

    I’m here for A of all: solidarity in not watching GoT. Don’t watch & don’t care.

    And B of the second, I took my first wheel throwing pottery class this spring and all I could get were some mediocre bowls, not even a mediocre mug for me. It was an ok experience so maybe someday I’ll try again.

    1. Scared_Vagina +16

      Question for the class: what is the best response so far to people saying ‘Oh my god you MUST watch GoT’? Cos I’m running out of retorts.

      1. Beakses +21

        I just tell people I don’t watch stressful television, which for me covers GoT, house of cards, walking dead, etc. I get weird looks but don’t generally get challenged on it.

        1. tinypaperme +12

          Yeah, my response is similar: a very flat “that would give me nightmares.” I already have plenty of fucked-up dreams that leave me exhausted as it is; I don’t need more fodder.

      2. WallisWallyOlly +25

        Me: “What’s that?”
        them: [their response]
        Me: *face scrunch* “Oh.”
        [uncomfortable silence]

        Works for me.

        1. WallisWallyOlly +11

          See also: response to joke you wish they hadn’t told you (“I don’t get it.”)

      3. Born_Secular +10

        I generally go for the sneer and flounce off, but I realize that may not continue to work for me if I get stuck somewhere I cannot move, so.
        Or else I just say something about how I don’t watch shows with excessive gratuitous sex. People usually can’t argue with that, since GoT is the definition of excessive gratuitous sex (i’m extrapolating from the one or two episodes I did watch).

      4. daisicles +9

        One-up them by raving about your own favorite show and how they simply have to watch it? I’m holding onto my love for The Americans to use whenever my siblings turn from mere Breaking Bad enthusiasts to Breaking Bad evangelists, which I gather should be any minute now.

      5. suzynjackson +8

        I generally go with “I checked out the pilot and it was just too violent for my tastes.” No one has challenged me so far.

      6. dashitall +10

        I have used “that show is gross” accompanied by a scrunched-up “ew, gross” face.

      7. hummingrose +5

        I just say it’s not for me. If further pressed, I say that I read the first book and a half (before the show) and then decided it was not for me.

    2. TheRenleigh +5

      I also took my first pottery class this spring and I got something I would describe as mug-adjacent (I tried twice to attach a handle and twice it fell off) and a couple of teeny mediocre bowls too. It was a lot of fun though, so I think I’ll do it again in the fall.

    4. YoungLeafedJune +9

      I gave up on wheel throwing almost immediately (So hard! So physically difficult!) and have been happily handbuilding since. I recommend it. Sure, I can’t create a beautiful vase out of nothing in like five minutes like my classmates, but I CAN spend hours sculpting one small porcelain beetle.

  13. PolarBearGirl92 +29

    Ooo – another addition to my collection of Leather Mom Purses? Here for it!

    Also here to confess my life-long obsession with buying dessert plates. I can’t explain it. I’ve just come to accept it.

    1. Jungle_Red +22

      Giant Leather Mom Purse is a my fave handbag genre. Room for a book, a snack, and a pair of shoes. (And occasionally a bottle of rosé.)

      1. PolarBearGirl92 +22

        I once walked around town with a loaf of bread in my Giant Leather Mom Purse. It was a good day.

    2. kayjayoh_ +10

      I have a life-long obsession with dessert, so I guess I should come visit.

      1. PolarBearGirl92 +4

        My favorite wedding gift, hands down, was a set of four dessert plates from Italy. I’m grabbing those things first if my house ever catches on fire.

    3. cleoreads +8

      I didn’t know that leather mom purses was a genre, but I have a lovely giant bag that is not quite a brief case – it looks a lot like this and I love it. I got it so I could carry my lunch and water bottle with me at conferences and still look professional.

    4. msjinxie +6

      I love Giant Leather Mom Purses but my chiropractor wants me to switch to a backpack full time. My shoulders and back agree with the switch but it’s just so boring.

      1. Unreadaethel +6

        I have the same problem. I now carry a Voyager portable toolbox to work. It’s roomy enough for most of what I need to carry throughout the day, has a sturdy zipper, and has enough structure that my stuff doesn’t fall into a jumble in the middle. Although my coworkers are chimney sweeps and gas technicians, so that’s a totally legit work purse.

        (I also use it for plant shopping.)

  14. Stephanie +8

    Capezio’s sale section is fulfilling a lot of my lost ballerina dreams. Cheap.

  15. Kate +5

    i just bought that dress. classy teacher floral printed skirts are kind of my thing.

    1. MopRocks +7

      So strange, but I had a friend in HS who used to draw fancy animals just like these.

    2. omgtehawsome +4

      I feel like I’m just adding to the dapper echo chamber, but I bought the llama in a chullo myself. He sits in my office filing cabinet with a set of silverware and is always there to keep me company and during lunch. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

  17. ecurve +73

    I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’ve been doing pottery for a couple-three years now, and I make mugs that I sell for $18 that *don’t* look like birds have pooped on them.

    Hit up your local studio’s craft sale, is what I’m saying.

    1. VioletandIrises +14

      There is a matching bowl, apparently:
      http://www.barneys.com/Alex-Marshall-Studios-Urba…

      No matter how many times I washed that, I would never be 100% sure if it was clean or still had bits of food in it.

      1. Angela +12

        I teach pottery class, and I always tell my students to think of how they’re gonna feel while cleaning that bowl, is it too lumpy? too many bits where food can get stuck? makes them think twice about not finishing that dish smoothly…

  18. damanoid +99

    I feel like the jellyfish rug would be able to incorporate any stains into its narrative. Splatter of grape jam? No, that is a BABY JELLYFISH that has come to play with the other jellyfish! Coffee drippings? Or maybe they are colonies of algae, on which the jellyfish is feeding! The concept invites creativity.

    Also: how often do you buy new dishes? When you realize that none of your old dishes have a picture of a FLAMINGO in a GRANDPA HAT on them! Then you throw those old dishes out, and give thanks that you can now start living your life properly.

    1. MopRocks +47

      I just want to put this out there- shark in a bikini is apparently also an option:

      http://www.westelm.com/products/dapper-animal-pla…

  19. damanoid +68

    Mom Purse has a noncommittally friendly face! Mom Purse is quietly supportive of your life choices.

  20. irreverantontheinternet +14

    THESE SALAD PLATES THOUGH: http://www.westelm.com/products/dapper-animal-pla…

    I have maybe already bought the one that looks like Octodad

    1. OoTheHumanities +7

      I just bought the octopus, shark, and lobster and I am greatly pleased and looking forward to meeting these gentlemen. (I don’t know why I still see the shark as a male even though it’s in a bikini top. But I do, I really do.)

    2. steampunk sparrow +4

      The woodland creatures are giving me a very Fantastic Mr. Fox vibe. I must have them.

      But I also want Octodad and Bikini Shark a lot alot. and all the others while I’m at it. Guess it’s a good thing I have this credit card with a (newly) zero balance just chillin’ in my wallet.

  21. Valkyrumba +58

    Re: Fancy animal salad plates, Oprah had this set on her Favorite Things this past year (?) and they’re magnificent: http://www.amazon.com/Paperproducts-Design-28151-…

    2. regularmegan +5

      oh man, i was hoping these were like $400 so i wasn’t tempted. the sheep!

    5. fcjaugusta +6

      For some reason that set immediately puts me in mind of the original Wicker Man.

  22. emmysuhweeks +4

    I love shorts in that style! I don’t have those exact ones — but Charlotte Rousse sold similar “hipster” styles and I bulked up on several pairs. So great for around the house, or under dresses, or whatever. Just like Jane says, they’re just the right amount of suggestive — cute and sexy but also I can roll on the couch or do yoga or pop out to drop the trash bag in the bin and it’s not obscene.

    1. psinistra +2

      Concetta!! YESS. I had that mug three times (which is to say, I smashed it three times and then learned my lesson) but it is GORGEOUS. Well done you.

  24. Jungle_Red +5

    A Nice Hat is sold out in small/medium, so if you have a Big Head ™ like me, run, don’t walk and get you one.

    1. v_d_budenmayer +4

      Fuck that noise, I have the world’s tiniest head and I need a sunhat so badly.

  25. HotDoom +43

    For a hot minute, I thought that chainmail purse was a chainmail halterneck BATHING SUIT and I was ready to reach my apotheosis as a sailor-damning sea witch queen (who is also very handy at preventing and removing rust from said chainmail). Anyway. I can’t properly smite until I have a chainmail bathing suit, is what I’m saying, so frankly, I’m a little disappointed.

    1. tinypaperme +9

      I’ve held chainmail underwear. Would not recommend as actual garment (even with “silky lining). Suggest acquiring a friend who is adept with a crochet hook and metallic yarn.

      1. HotDoom +17

        Unfortunately, my smite-arm only works when I’m wearing metal alloys (maybe I should look into mithril?) so chain mail it will have to be. I could try using the hides of men I’ve smote in my more vigorous days as lining, maybe? Watch this space.

        1. tinypaperme +12

          Understandable. Just remember, then – the side with the rivets is the outside of the undies.

    1. winterbymorning +5

      I too wish to know the whereabouts of the open thread, I’ve had my comment typed up and ready to go for an hour and a half now.

    3. citystillbreath +13

      Well, we know Nicole is in DC and busy, this must mean SHE is the bartender

  27. teenybuffalo +5

    What is the name for that kind of dress-that-looks-like-a-tight-black-top-and-contrasting-skirt? I like the style, and will need to know what to search for if I can ever afford to buy one new.

  28. Born_Secular +11

    Also, I was tempted by those shorts until I clicked the link. There you can clearly see they are not long enough to prevent infamous thigh rub. I see I’ll be stickin’ with my ugly granny shorts.

    2. msjinxie +5

      Damn. I was so excited! But chub rub is too dangerous & body glide/deodorant only does so much to prevent it.

    3. v_d_budenmayer +10

      Those are also all pictures of literal CHILDREN wearing those shorts, and I am pretty sure they and I do not share a body type.

  29. treereenee +5

    I actually made basically that exact mug in pottery class, down to the random glaze splatters. Good to know what it’s worth now eh?

  30. cleoreads +16

    Huh, that giant mom purse looks remarkably like my classy professional woman bag that is not a brief case. I’m very glad no one called mine a mom purse before I bought it, because I love my not a brief case.

    1. LackStratagem +11

      I also bought a bag just like this which I considered my Smart City Bag! But I am a mom, and evidently the bag knew that when it consented to come home with me. Any lingering cred it had melted away when I applied a coupon to its purchase.

      1. cleoreads +5

        I like that term!

        I am not a mom, but I do have some mom-like tendencies such as always traveling with food, band-aids and extra clothing (just in case). Usually I schlep everything in a back-pack but I use my bag when I want to look like a more put together version of me.

  31. Katiezog +7

    Is it bad I am going on an ASOS rampage? I have like 12 dresses in my cart.

    Also, I need good legging recommendations!

    1. nadiagraham +11

      Better healthcare? Or the 0% probability of Donald Trump being elected as Prime Minister?

  34. v_d_budenmayer +17

    Hello, I am here for you to convince me that I can wear booty shorts like that despite my pasty, cellulite-ridden upper thighs and cheeks.

    (They’re very thick and shapely, though, so they look great in leggings, I’ll allow myself that.)

    1. ofTrebond +14

      Why not? It’s summer, you should be comfortable, and I’m sure you’ll look great. No one who doesn’t work for a celebrity gossip magazine has ever noticed cellulite on another person, and there is nothing wrong with pasty as long as you wear sunscreen.

  36. NeuroticChihuahua

    "plates on the walls"

    Eek! And I bet you were the one who had to dust them all, right?

    I also have a double bed! I do my sheets shopping online, though, because I hate searching through shelves and shelves of sheets just to find ones that I (maybe) want.

  37. the_other_Kate

    I didn't have to dust them! The ex-husband was in fact the only person of any gender I've ever co-habited with who did fully his half-share of housework, and he was far more concerned with dust (and things like precision folding and ironing) than I ever have been.

    I might not have been quite so on board with the neoVictorian aesthetic as he was, but really I would give him excellent references as a partner (or roommate for that matter) to people who weren't me.

  38. funkmistress +3

    I had to come back here to say I ordered that Smashbox palette, and it is, indeed, the finest makeup fun, especially for those of us who like makeup and like pretending that Jane is there to help us with it. I’ve been doing the same basic eye makeup since forever, and this actually made me sad that I had to take off my artwork at the end of the day. Except then I got to do it again this morning in a whole ‘nother colorway.

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