Hello Toasties! I hope you’ve all had a magnificent week. Mine felt like a week full of Mondays, because that’s how your week feels when you come back from the beach, but as always it was impossible not to revel in the many delights of The Toast:
WHERE ARE MY JAMMIES
sir they’re right where you left them
NOT THOSE
THOSE ARE MY CIGAR JAMMIES
I WANT MY WHISKEY JAMMIES
I ONLY WEAR THE CIGAR JAMMIES WHEN I’M SMOKING CIGARS
here they are, sir
ARE YOU BLIND
THOSE ARE MY UNDERSECRETARY JAMMIES
I HAVEN’T WORN THOSE SINCE THE BOER WAR
–Dirtbag Winston Churchill
“When you grow up believing both God and your mom think you are awesome, the world becomes something to explore, your body is a beautiful vehicle for moving within a very good kingdom, you are capable of making all things new.”
Ayn Rand returned to review some beloved children’s books! “The Giver: The premise alone is ridiculous. I did not make it past the first page, as I found the title offensive.”
David Brooks Writes a Sestina About Finding The Road to Character:
So everyone was talking about character
and I thought I really should write a book
about it soon so I called up my agent
and I said “Do you think this is a good idea?”
and he said “David, I like all of your ideas,
plus, you really understand America.”
Fire your life coach right this instant, because Aunt Acid gives the best advice.
I thought this was a pretty solid Plan B. Or, you know, Plan A.
Matisse at MoMA! (well, fine, the cut-outs exhibit has closed, but you can still read this essay by Karen Yuan and marvel)
“It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day” and other Things I’ve Learned About Heterosexual Female Desire From Decades of Reading
The Murder of Crows, via The Butter
This post about Star Trek: The Next Generation and its overabundance of indoor (I mean, obviously indoor) plant life made me feel so happy and so confused at the same time. Why? Why all the plants?? (A commenter described Enterprise-D decor as “Space Marriott,” which is absolutely the perfect way to put it.)
Have a good weekend, friends. See you next week.
Tags: i miss the ocean, meta, to whoever is not listening to the sea this friday, toast points
