Seriously I have read this like seven times today. I. Love. It. Mallory how can you be so funny, it’s almost inhuman?!
robotneedslove+23
Goddess bless you Mallory Ortberg.
crawlkill+35
you never fail to make me laugh whether I actually for real get the joke or not
bnharrison32+53
Camille Paglia is the dark destroyer-goddess who singlehandedly birthed my sexual and political awakening.
Camille Paglia was the boatwoman who ferried me from the shores of my childhood, dominated by the discourse of male Southern Baptist church leaders, to her own dark subterranean kingdom, where she taught me to find release by sexually objectifying selected works of Western art.
Camille Paglia taught me to declare loftily that men have always lived in terrified awe of women. She can prove it. Just go to a museum. Read a book, you ignorant child.
Camille Paglia was my bad boy phase. I have never, will never, entirely recover.
cowboyx+9
Camile Paglia woke me up to the fact that liking football doesn’t make one a braindead asshole. A small thing, but I appreciate it.
cheekypinky+3
(I have a deep and abiding love for Paglia–politics aside, the women has a towering, insatiably curious intellect, and she was the first academic writer who made me realize that Serious Papers on Serious Topics could be a pure delight to read.
…Also, I may use “cthonian” in conversation far more than I ought.)
houblonchouffe+9
“these are all 100% accurate”
best tag
paddlepickle+69
A woman is like a tea bag. You never know what she’s made of until you read the side of the box she’s in.
seshat2014+2
I was going to say!
paddlepickle+17
It turns out the usual phrasing of this quote is “You never know how strong she is till you put her in hot water”, but I feel like the correction still holds, as most boxes will let you know how strong the tea is by making a recommendation for how long you steep it, based on your strength preference. Or if you’re like really worried about it you can read the Amazon reviews.
dakimel+12
Not that my hand was clicking “set as desktop picture” on Write Like A Motherfucker before my eyes were done transmitting the info to my conscious brain or anything.
well, as it turns out, we ARE all classy and fabulous.
betsymore+4
This is so weird and I love it so much
renjender+31
Yeah, this totally doesn’t dissuade me that Camille Paglia is one of the worst people in the world (and one of our most embarrassing queers, tied with Andrew Sullivan).
JGlo+2
I was thinking the same thing…bar Andrew Sullivan because I don’t really know who that is. I spoke I live under a rock.
betsymore+14
Nor should it. Also one of our most embarrassing “feminists.”
bookwormV+17
Someone I know from university, who is a super conservative Christian, showed up on my Facebook newsfeed in a conversation about how great she was (with other male conservative Christians). It confirmed my opinion of both.
malloryelis+32
oh god it should not dissuade you of that AT ALL
bookwormV+6
In sixth form, the first academic literary criticism I was exposed to was Camille Paglia (on the subject of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner). It was incomprehensible nonsense to me, and I was very nervous about my upcoming English degree. (I never managed to get to grips with literary theory or what I was meant to do with it.)
Mrs_Peel+2
“It was incomprehensible nonsense to me”
And probably to 99.99% of the human race, so don’t feel too bad!
bookwormV+3
Yeah, but when you’re reading English at Oxford, it seems to be expected that you have a vague clue as to what’s going on rather than just flailing about in confusion.
foxinthe_snow
Hah!
I remember having to read 'The Resistance to Theory' (I am very resistant to theory) by Paul de Man and realising that I had no idea what he was on about but had mentioned a tiger. In my supervision I focused very heavily on why one might be afraid of tigers. That and 'Who da man?' 'Paul da man!'
jlper+17
“Work like you don’t need the money”
Why? Why would I ever do that? If I didn’t need the money I wouldn’t go to work, I would only have hobbies. I HATE THIS QUOTE
People on Goodreads have attributed that quote to Mark Twain? Ridiculous, it was obviously Abraham Lincoln.
poire
"Work like you don't need the money"
Why? Why would I ever do that? If I didn't need the money I wouldn't go to work, I would only have hobbies. I HATE THIS QUOTE
People on Goodreads have attributed that quote to Mark Twain? Ridiculous, it was obviously Abraham Lincoln.
jlper+20
Also, geez, Camille Paglia. Truly the Ayn Rand of our time. Absolutely politically abhorrent, and yet she possesses a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn’t she?
“Male urination really is a kind of accomplishment, an arc of transcendance. A woman merely waters the ground she stands on.”
What a lady.
zachariahary+18
Wow. That is the perfect example of the Paglia quote that inspires a dollop of incredulity, a dash of awe, and a heaping serving of wait, what? I remember reading some article of hers years ago that ended with her saying that modern day feminists should stop complaining and thank men for building skyscrapers and inventing penicillin. But I now understand that I’ll never be able to fully comprehend her world view because I choose to pee sitting down. And what sort of man would willing transform a golden arc of transcendence into a mundane, impotent trickle?
tenyaluna+19
“In 1945 the chemical structure of penicillin was determined using X-ray crystallography by Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin, who was also working at Oxford.[41] She later received the Nobel prize for this and other structure determinations.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penicillin
Yep, women had nothing to do with anything, ever. Stoopid women, always benefitting from science without any contribution!
poire
Also, geez, Camille Paglia. Truly the Ayn Rand of our time. Absolutely politically abhorrent, and yet she possesses a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn't she?
"Male urination really is a kind of accomplishment, an arc of transcendance. A woman merely waters the ground she stands on."
What a lady.
Emma+6
I didn’t know who Camille Pagila was. Thanks to Google, now I do. Oh, God, why must I now know who she is.
Julia
So pleased. I vote with Molly Ivins. Sheesh, what an asshole.
femmefan1946+1
Could you post a link to Camille Paglia’s Pinterest page? I think I would like to follow it. Does she also post pictures of garden furniture and Adam Baldwin?
Wow that made my day
Seriously I have read this like seven times today. I. Love. It. Mallory how can you be so funny, it’s almost inhuman?!
Goddess bless you Mallory Ortberg.
you never fail to make me laugh whether I actually for real get the joke or not
Camille Paglia is the dark destroyer-goddess who singlehandedly birthed my sexual and political awakening.
Camille Paglia was the boatwoman who ferried me from the shores of my childhood, dominated by the discourse of male Southern Baptist church leaders, to her own dark subterranean kingdom, where she taught me to find release by sexually objectifying selected works of Western art.
Camille Paglia taught me to declare loftily that men have always lived in terrified awe of women. She can prove it. Just go to a museum. Read a book, you ignorant child.
Camille Paglia was my bad boy phase. I have never, will never, entirely recover.
Camile Paglia woke me up to the fact that liking football doesn’t make one a braindead asshole. A small thing, but I appreciate it.
(I have a deep and abiding love for Paglia–politics aside, the women has a towering, insatiably curious intellect, and she was the first academic writer who made me realize that Serious Papers on Serious Topics could be a pure delight to read.
…Also, I may use “cthonian” in conversation far more than I ought.)
“these are all 100% accurate”
best tag
A woman is like a tea bag. You never know what she’s made of until you read the side of the box she’s in.
I was going to say!
It turns out the usual phrasing of this quote is “You never know how strong she is till you put her in hot water”, but I feel like the correction still holds, as most boxes will let you know how strong the tea is by making a recommendation for how long you steep it, based on your strength preference. Or if you’re like really worried about it you can read the Amazon reviews.
Not that my hand was clicking “set as desktop picture” on Write Like A Motherfucker before my eyes were done transmitting the info to my conscious brain or anything.
I have the coffee mug <a href=”http://(https://store.therumpus.net/product/write-like-a-motherfucker-coffee-mug/)” target=”_blank”>(https://store.therumpus.net/product/write-like-a-motherfucker-coffee-mug/) and I do believe that I will now think of the above picture every time I drink from it.
Thanks, Mallory.
well, as it turns out, we ARE all classy and fabulous.
This is so weird and I love it so much
Yeah, this totally doesn’t dissuade me that Camille Paglia is one of the worst people in the world (and one of our most embarrassing queers, tied with Andrew Sullivan).
I was thinking the same thing…bar Andrew Sullivan because I don’t really know who that is. I spoke I live under a rock.
Nor should it. Also one of our most embarrassing “feminists.”
Someone I know from university, who is a super conservative Christian, showed up on my Facebook newsfeed in a conversation about how great she was (with other male conservative Christians). It confirmed my opinion of both.
oh god it should not dissuade you of that AT ALL
In sixth form, the first academic literary criticism I was exposed to was Camille Paglia (on the subject of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner). It was incomprehensible nonsense to me, and I was very nervous about my upcoming English degree. (I never managed to get to grips with literary theory or what I was meant to do with it.)
“It was incomprehensible nonsense to me”
And probably to 99.99% of the human race, so don’t feel too bad!
Yeah, but when you’re reading English at Oxford, it seems to be expected that you have a vague clue as to what’s going on rather than just flailing about in confusion.
Hah!
I remember having to read 'The Resistance to Theory' (I am very resistant to theory) by Paul de Man and realising that I had no idea what he was on about but had mentioned a tiger. In my supervision I focused very heavily on why one might be afraid of tigers. That and 'Who da man?' 'Paul da man!'
“Work like you don’t need the money”
Why? Why would I ever do that? If I didn’t need the money I wouldn’t go to work, I would only have hobbies. I HATE THIS QUOTE
People on Goodreads have attributed that quote to Mark Twain? Ridiculous, it was obviously Abraham Lincoln.
"Work like you don't need the money"
Why? Why would I ever do that? If I didn't need the money I wouldn't go to work, I would only have hobbies. I HATE THIS QUOTE
People on Goodreads have attributed that quote to Mark Twain? Ridiculous, it was obviously Abraham Lincoln.
Also, geez, Camille Paglia. Truly the Ayn Rand of our time. Absolutely politically abhorrent, and yet she possesses a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn’t she?
“Male urination really is a kind of accomplishment, an arc of transcendance. A woman merely waters the ground she stands on.”
What a lady.
Wow. That is the perfect example of the Paglia quote that inspires a dollop of incredulity, a dash of awe, and a heaping serving of wait, what?
I remember reading some article of hers years ago that ended with her saying that modern day feminists should stop complaining and thank men for building skyscrapers and inventing penicillin. But I now understand that I’ll never be able to fully comprehend her world view because I choose to pee sitting down. And what sort of man would willing transform a golden arc of transcendence into a mundane, impotent trickle?
“In 1945 the chemical structure of penicillin was determined using X-ray crystallography by Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin, who was also working at Oxford.[41] She later received the Nobel prize for this and other structure determinations.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penicillin
Yep, women had nothing to do with anything, ever. Stoopid women, always benefitting from science without any contribution!
Also, geez, Camille Paglia. Truly the Ayn Rand of our time. Absolutely politically abhorrent, and yet she possesses a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn't she?
"Male urination really is a kind of accomplishment, an arc of transcendance. A woman merely waters the ground she stands on."
What a lady.
I didn’t know who Camille Pagila was.
Thanks to Google, now I do.
Oh, God, why must I now know who she is.
So pleased. I vote with Molly Ivins. Sheesh, what an asshole.
Could you post a link to Camille Paglia’s Pinterest page?
I think I would like to follow it. Does she also post pictures of garden furniture and Adam Baldwin?