We talked about Bree Newsome’s statement yesterday, but let’s do it again:
I removed the flag not only in defiance of those who enslaved my ancestors in the southern United States, but also in defiance of the oppression that continues against black people globally in 2015, including the ongoing ethnic cleansing in the Dominican Republic. I did it in solidarity with the South African students who toppled a statue of the white supremacist, colonialist Cecil Rhodes. I did it for all the fierce black women on the front lines of the movement and for all the little black girls who are watching us. I did it because I am free.
To all those who might label me an “outside agitator,” I say to you that humanitarianism has no borders. I am a global citizen. My prayers are with the poor, the afflicted and the oppressed everywhere in the world, as Christ instructs. If this act of disobedience can also serve as a symbol to other peoples’ struggles against oppression or as a symbol of victory over fear and hate, then I know all the more that I did the right thing.
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Mallory has a special news roundup about the burning of black churches later this morning, so watch this space for more.
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Southern black people and the Confederate flag:
I’m from Philadelphia, and my partner is from San Francisco. We’re both people of color, as is the comedian we’d come to Richmond to see, Hannibal Buress, who grew up in Chicago and was clearly also feeling some type of way about it when he took the stage that night. “I like Richmond; it’s a beautiful city,” he said, to scattered whoops from the hometown audience. He paused a beat. “But I don’t know. This seems like a place that really liked the way things used to be.”
When I recently recounted this story to two good friends, both of them black and Southern, they clearly thought we were all being a little precious about the flag. Joel grew up in Texas and has lived and worked all over the South as a reporter. Terryn grew up and went to college in Virginia, and, like a whole lot of other black folks our age, she recently moved back to the South.
“First of all, that’s not even scary if you grew up in Virginia,” Terryn said.
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“If you can just give me an answer, then …”
“I’m just following up on …”I started paying attention, at work and beyond. It didn’t take long to sense something I hadn’t noticed before: women used “just” a lot more often than men.
Still, it was only a hunch — I had no data. Yet even if it was selective listening, it seemed I was hearing “just” three to four times more frequently from women than from men.
It hit me that there was something about the word I didn’t like. It was a “permission” word, in a way — a warm-up to a request, an apology for interrupting, a shy knock on a door before asking “Can I get something I need from you?”
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As Rachel Edidin wrote in her critique of sexualized rape scenes, “Women are exaggeratedly—and always—sexy. They’re sexy on the phone. Sexy on the job. Sexy fighting. Sexy tortured. Sexy dead. Sexy raped.”
If you’re a woman in media, you’re basically the sexy Halloween costume of human beings in a world where Halloween never ends. Again, I cannot believe I have to say this, but if a movie or TV show can’t visualize a woman in non-sexual terms even for the brief duration of a rape scene, it has no business depicting rape scenes.
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.@AkilahObviously wrote about her school’s confederate mascot. cue the defensive responses http://t.co/ugZQN2EXR6 pic.twitter.com/zvZ1NXK4wD
— dodai (@dodaistewart) June 30, 2015
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This interview with Sarah Hepola about her addiction memoir is really good:
SH: That phrase that you said is so true, and it still troubles me even today: People around you know more about you than you do. When someone talking to me about how to focus the book said the word “blackout” to me, it was like a lightning bolt. It was like, Oh my God, you just put your finger on the through-line to my entire life. “Blackout” is also such a good metaphor for the denial of the problem drinker. I didn’t experience the evening; I didn’t remember it. That didn’t exist for me. But what you have to eventually realize is that it does exist.
You don’t have to remember something for it to have a profound effect on the people around you, how they see you, what they think of you. That’s really hard to take. Like most human beings, I’m really invested in what other people think of me. I want them to think well of me. I want them to think I’m a good person. I want them to think I’m a together person. There were all these episodes in which I was presenting a self that I didn’t even remember the next day.
Over the years, that detective work on your own life, that is the blackout: You have to wake up and say, What did I do, where are my text messages? I’m so glad, by the way, that I stopped drinking before the real age of social media, so I didn’t have to think, Oh my God, what did I put on Facebook, what did I put on Twitter? All these things are so public. That is the evidence trail that people immediately go through now: You go to Facebook, you look at your text messages, you look at Twitter, you dig through your receipts, look at your credit card statements.
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I’m catching up with Silicon Valley and this just happened and I’m basically dead now:
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My friend Mr. Wilson and his human consorts are at my houseeeee for the next four days, and he got a lil haircut (all future Link Roundups will be illustrated w pics of him fake-mauling my daughter):
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The happiest of Canada Days to you!
Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
Happy Canada Day, Canadian Toasties! Happy Wednesday, to others. I am enjoying my day off work with a ton of rain, unfortunately.
Happy Canada Day to all Toast folks above our border. Where does the time go? We’ll all be doing 4 July real soon.
Happy Canada Day! I’m enjoying my day off by staying in and cleaning! Because it really needs to get done and it’s kind of smoky and humid and gross outside (or at least it was yesterday and I’m pretty sure it’s continuing) so I don’t want to do anything out there.
Happy Canada Day to you and everyone, too! I’ll be celebrating by weed whacking out a charming wee campsite that borders a creek where I can plop my camping chair and go “ahhhhhhh” in this 30+ C. degree heat.
Happy Canada Day to all the Canadian Toasties!
And YEEEEES SILICON VALLEY IS THE BEST. This season was SO ridiculously good. I am here to talk about it ALL DAY especially Jared because he is the best and I love his awkward existence. Also, I would be 100% thrilled if my funeral involved a PowerPoint presentation, it would only feel right at this point in my life.
“Your new tenant is Jared Dunn.
His rent will be exceedingly reasonable.
And his utilities will be included.
He speaks German in the night.”
“I’ve booby trapped the house with corporate brainstorming tools”
“This guy fucks”
Jared is an absolute delight! I don’t work in silicon valley, but being part of the tech industry elsewhere in the country and an active follower of tech news, the show is truthy enough that it sometimes hurts to watch it. But I still do, because I love it so very much.
Jared is the spitting image of a 20-something version of a physicist I worked for in college. Just as awkward too. Show damn well gets its nerds correct.
I may have been under a bridge yesterday, but if you missed the new Kendrick Lamar video, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-48u_uWMHY
If you said to me yesterday, “Hey, Penny Dreadful, isn’t it a shame that Federico Fellini never got to make a movie starring Kendrick Lamar?” I would have said “What an oddly specific question, but I guess?” Well that’s pretty much this.
So, since “The Rebels” are supposed to be more like James Dean, they’re in the middle of changing the mascot to be James Dean, right?
I would be much more delighted to go to a high school that had a mascot of a cartoon James Dean.
After I left, my college nearly changed its official mascot from “the pioneers” to “the furies”, and I may never get over the fact that they didn’t, in the end : (
Of course, I spend four years on a club team with a succubus for a mascot, and trying to gauge how to explain succubi to complete strangers was always interesting, so probably people weren’t excited to constantly explain what a fury is…..
But explaining a James Dean would be pretty easy.
And the leather jacket/jeans uniforms, just imagine a whole squad of cheerleaders in those! 😀
A whole squad of cheerleaders in jeans*, white shirts, bright red lipstick doing routines to TSwift’s “Style”.
There are a LOT of mascot ideas that aren’t even racist that are a lot worse than James Dean.
*Probably actually jeggings for freedom of movement, but, hey, I’ll take it. Even jean skirts.
Perfection!
I initially misread “furies” as “furries” and was really wondering what kind of college you went to.
I did, too, but my misreading was intentional.
yeeeeaaaaaah, this may have been the actual reason they didn’t make the switch.
I didn’t know there are multiple colleges with Pioneer mascots! Grinnell is also The Pioneers, and for years there’s been an admission essay prompt asking prospective students what new mascot they would choose if they could change it. We were always a little bit disappointed that the school never actually took anyone up on thir suggestions.
Ahhhh, that Blackout interview was great. I like — although I think it’s very controversial and would expect many, many people to disagree with me, and I totally respect that — her thoughts on consent. But what I like even better is her point about WHY women drink to excess. That’s such an important question. Damn.
USA! USA! I really enjoyed that game last night, but I don’t know how I am going to handle the final. Either a rematch with Japan or a game against England, either way it’s going to be so stressful.
I’m pulling for a USA-England final…perfect for July 4th weekend!
The game last night was great, but oh man, Morgan Brian and Alexandra Popp should have been taken OUT after that collision. Brian looked dazed, and Popp was covered in blood! They were washing it out of her hair with a water bottle. FIFA really needs to add an extra sub for head injury situations.
I know! I was so worried about them. FIFA is just terrible around head injuries (as well as just in general really bad).
Also, this fan pic was retweeted by the Men in Blazers and I about died:
https://twitter.com/EL_Heffe418/status/6160517321…
hahahahaha that is simply the best.
Yesssssss last night was great and we really lucked out a few times with the ref’s calls. So excited for Sunday’s game, whoever we’re up against!
I spontaneously flew to Montreal yesterday and back this morning just to go to the game, and frankly I did it because I thought we were going to lose and I wouldn’t get to see my favorite team (of any sport ever) play in the World Cup. I don’t know what kind of spell was cast on our team yesterday but I will absolutely take it and they can all stay. And being in that stadium was completely worth the sleep deprivation and the loss of voice (from screaming).
I’m also hoping for a USA-England final because a) I’m tired of tense games against Japan, and b) I’m scared of a repeat of 2011.
errrrrr the “just” piece seems way too short and easy to me. Like, I’m totally board with the word “just” being a way to make a statement less assertive, etc. But can we also talk about how assertiveness is often punished rather than rewarded in women, how using “just” might also be a way of avoiding being read as “pushy” and “bitchy” and all those other lovely adjectives for assertive women?
Yeah, it’s another one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” scenarios. I am trying to prune deferential/ingratiating/self-effacing words from my professional vocabulary, but it’s a little scary to be that direct. Inside me is the little girl recoiling at being punished for bossiness.
I found that switching to the word “would” (as in “please would you do the thing that I want you to do? Thx! Vincennes”) helps with the being more direct and doesn’t feel too much like I am commanding through a megaphone. If you decide to give that a shot, I hope it’s useful to you also.
That’s a good idea! I was typing something recently and realized that I used “just” too much (just, like, too much in general, you know?). I like this alternative.
yes, and also: ‘just’ can be a deference word, but it has a range of other possible meanings (e.g. in the Nike slogan Just Do It — that’s not deference, that’s stressing the low bar to taking an action in talking to someone being inert), so the article did make an interesting point, but also was reductive in addition to being glib. Business-world insights.
I was hoping it would delve into the reasons why women use qualifying/deferential language more than men do, rather than just pointing it out (i.e., we are socialized to believe that our needs are less important and it’s rude to ask for things straightforwardly, whereas men are socialized to believe that their needs are understandable and they should go out there and get what they want). Kind of the tip of the iceberg there.
I understand that “sorry” and “just” and their ilk are supposed to be Problematic And Ingratiating, but I don’t think that they have to be eliminated from our work vocabulary, esp in positions where you’re dealing with customers all day. When I checked people’s bags at Pride they got only a 5-second impression of me, and the more ridiculously polite I was to start, the more compliant they were when I told them to throw out a drink or show me everything in their cooler.
Agreed – it’s more the context that matters. I use “just” a lot in work emails to clients, particularly the phrase “just checking in on X,” because what I really want to say is “hey there is this thing you were supposed to do, why are you slacking” but it’s not really good to talk to clients like that…
Yep…I tend to use a lot of those type of words to say “I can’t actually tell you what to do, but this needs to be done” politely. And women tend to be in more of those admin or customer service positions (versus the kind of position where you can straight-up say “This needs to be done, please do it by Friday”) so…that’s a correlation, at least.
I agree that that type of word leaking into other speech, like the startup pitch example in the article, is something worth noticing and working on. But I suspect what an executive sees as weakness, an assistant sees as strategic politeness.
Agreed. I’m an editor, and tact and politeness are highly marketable skills. You’re already criticizing author’s work (I’m also often 20-30 years younger than the author, although they usually don’t know that). Things go so much smoother, and people are so much happier to work with you, when you can say “How about we say x instead of y?” instead of “Y is wrong. Use x.”
Yeah, I absolutely agree it’s about context. I read the quote and thought, “I’m going to work on dropping ‘just’ from now on!” But it really does depend on the request you’re making and the day everyone is having. I do want to stop using it less when I’m just (HA) doing the everyday parts of my job and need coworkers to do their part to make that happen. Because I do have a problem with seeing myself as an eternal inconvenience to everyone around me (so of course I apologize too much), and I need to drop that mindset. I am hired to do a job, and it’s part of my immediate coworkers’ job to assist me with the info I need. I don’t need to apologize for that.
Glad to see others saying this, because my response (before even reading the article) was to think “but I do that intentionally.” I’ve spoken with friends recently about the ways women often give different feedback than men (not across the board, but it *tends* to work this way in my experience). It tends to be much more thought out, they’re more likely to make it clear they’re expressing an opinion vs an absolute objective truth (I’m a writer, so most feedback is subjective) and they couch it in language that makes all the criticism come off as respectful. (Can we just talk about how my use of words like “tends” and “more likely” are totally doing the thing I’m describing?)
I had a male client recently tell me my sentences were weak and my language fluffy and I wanted to be like “dude, I can take criticism, but that doesn’t tell me *anything* useful because you’re expressing your personal opinion in a general way and I can’t read your mind.” Of course I said something much more tactful than that because I’m a professional. I think the way women do it usually works better for actual communication. <end of rant>
Aw dang, pursuant to that Laura Hudson* article about rape scenes, I was just reading another article about the history of rape scenes particularly on television, and how they’re primarily there to actually reinforce masculinity — in “mainstream” shows (i.e., those geared towards a male audience), the purpose of rape is to create a situation that a male character rectifies (i.e. by beating or killing a guy, or catching the rapist, &c.); it’s a subtle but powerful suggestion that the purity of women is sort of fundamentally meant to be safeguarded by men.
Dang I got to find that, hold on.
*please note that Laura Hudson and Rachel Edidin are both heroes to the people
Foooound iiiiiiit
Sonia Saraiya over at Salon
(I was never destined to be a good scholar, because even though I remember 80-90% of the content of everything I read, I almost never remember who wrote it or where I read it, it’s like I live in a fog of ideas all tagged with [citation needed])
That was an amazing piece and makes me sad she left the AV Club all over again. I need to put her back on my TV reviewing rotation again.
I’m trying to be better at clipping articles I really like to my Evernote and tagging them since I never remember where I find things either. It’s helping a little.
Oh yeah, True Detective ALL OVER that trope this season. Also all seasons.
Yep. Either a woman is raped and the hero must avenge her, or woman is kidnapped by man who either implicitly or explicitly is planning on raping her, and the hero has to rescue her before the rape happens.
And, importantly, the actual woman who was raped is always secondary to the point of the story, which is the avenging of rape.
I just think it would be really helpful to our work environment if you could just stop setting my desk on fire. I mean, you don’t have to, but if you could it would be really great. Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Best,
Me Forever/Chronic Apologizer
MISTER WILSON THO. I am slain.
OK I needed that puppy picture after the link roundup…
That rape scene article is basically the one I wanted to write after finishing “The Magician King.”
Oh boy, finally, I have concrete justification for never finishing that series. I am too much of a completist, even when series are not statisfying, but I am sure that with Lev Grossman’s style, a rape scene would create a shredded book in my garbage.
I’m so mad about that series! I started off so into the premise, and then hated every character so much. Someone said to me, “I think you’re supposed to hate them?” and I >:( THAT ONLY WORKS IF SOME OF THEM ARE REDEEMED. And they all seemed irredeemable.
I’m a completist too, in general, but these books and ASOIAF and The Name of the Wind – I quit ’em all for sanity and have no regrets.
Are the second two books in the trilogy not worth reading then? I’m very attached to the first one because it made me finally get treatment for my depression but I don’t want to taint my memories of the first one if the other ones go off the rails.
the second one is not that good, but I thought the third one was surprisingly well worth reading. The third one is not nearly as upsetting. And the characters even become somewhat likeable.
Though I would never ever tell anyone they have to finish it or anything, I get why people dislike the series.
I’m still not sure how I feel about the Magician King. It was very much about that character, and her story, and how she survived. But it’s also one of the most upsetting and terrifying things I’ve ever read, and I only skim-read that part because it was so graphic and horrible.
I felt really disappointed that the whole book is leading up to finding out what she’s been through, and then it was like, “oh you couldn’t think of anything more nuanced or interesting than rape?” Meh.
Way busy this morning, so in honor of Canada day, a quickie:
Hail to Canada, America’s toupee!
because it’s all about US, you see
and so we salute you on Canada Day
for being the saner and better country
that we wish we were a lot of the time
when churches are burning and bullets fly
whether warring on drugs, or warring on crime
no matter it seems how hard we try
we’ll never be as nice as you!
maybe if we gave up all this warring
and to the Tea Party bid adieu
made an attempt to be more boring
switched to poutine instead of grits
treated our neighbors with more respect
instead of our balls, used our wits
then it would have the great effect
Of making us more like you, our friends
the wonderful lovely Canadians!
Canada: the nice family that lives above a biker bar.
RIP Robin Williams (heard this was attributed to him)
Extra points for the poutine reference!
America: Canada’s shorts! 🙂
Thanks for the poem!
If you don’t like my poem, there’ll be hell toupee!
BWaahahahahahah
I know this isn’t the open thread, but I had to have my ancient horse put to sleep yesterday, and I’m ever so sad about it. It was the right time, and he was 32 (equivalent of about 95 in human terms), and I’d had him for 27 years and he had a lovely life – so I don’t regret doing it, but he’s going to leave an awfully big hole in my life.
Oh no. I’m so, so sorry to hear this. Sending warm thoughts your way.
How wonderful that he was with you for so long. I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s the awful downside of loving them. I hope the memories give you some comfort while you grieve.
I’m so sorry. I hope you’re holding up okay.
I’m glad he had such a long life with you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My most heartfelt sympathies for you. It’s always a sad day when a much loved family member passes on but you gave him a most wonderful life and humane end…all my horsey hugs to you.
My deepest condolences. I hope you have plenty of pictures of him and have people you can remember him with. Even knowing it’s the right decision doesn’t make missing them any easier.
I’m sending you warm thoughts and hugs in the Jedi style. I’m glad the two of you got to spend so much time in each other’s lives.
Does anyone have any information on fundraisers for any of the burned churches? I did a search this weekend but couldn’t come up with anything– have any GoFundMe accounts popped up recently? Thanks.
Relevant to the flag link, some pretty great vandalism happened in my hometown yesterday: http://www.nbc29.com/story/29441856/charlottesvil…
The two central parks in Charlottesville are Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson park. Sometimes when I try to convince my non Southern friends that I grew up in a relatively progressive place, I am reminded of that fact..
“Charlottesville City Councilor Kristin Szakos says the painted message speaks volumes about concerns right now. ‘Vandalism is never an appropriate response I don’t think, it’s certainly not to this sort of thing, but I think it does indicate that there are very strong feelings around the symbols of the Confederacy,’ she stated.”
Are there. Are there very strong feelings around the symbols of the Confederacy. ARE THERE. Does it, in fact, INDICATE THAT. What was your first hint, there.
Aha, I’m so glad to learn that “some pretty great vandalism” wasn’t sarcastic!
Y’all, remind me to tell you this week’s Intern Nightmare on Friday, will you? Otherwise I will certainly forget.
*edit: actually, the level of incandescent-rage-meets-utter-confusion might not be that forgettable
Ooooh do we have to wait ’til Friday? Can you spill now?
Yes, I just didn’t want to hijack necessarily.
We had a big event last night, about 300 people. Most of the pre-registered but we had 13 people pay at the door. Which is fine! I programmed a registration fee button into Square so they’d be easy to track and made forms for walk-ups to fill out, and assigned one of my interns to run check-in because my volunteers are more or less hopeless with technology and at least she knows how to run a credit card with Square. Well enough.
Event was a rousing success! Auction raised lots of money! So far, so good!
I get to work this morning on five hours of sleep and start going through all the receipts, only to realize that the intern on registration has put in SEVEN of the thirteen walk-up registrations as… not registrations! but as merchandise! so now all my reports and inventory are fucked up forever and there’s no apparent way to fix this AND she doesn’t come in today.
My boss wanted me to fix the error and I was like LOL NOPE, THAT IS ON HER. SHE DOES THE LEG WORK. PERIOD. DONE. and Boss was all O_O and the intern is going to be so, so confused and sad and I can’t even feel bad about it.
Congratulations on the successful auction! That’s fantastic. In my experience those kinds of events tend to be full of behind-the-scenes madness and confusion has a way of taking hold, so shit always goes south somehow…as long as no cops or ambulances get called, it’s generally a win in my book. I mean, at least the money’s there, right?
But the error is on your intern, and learning to clean up after one’s messes is a necessary and valuable lesson! Exactly the kind of thing an intern should be taught. Plus she’ll gain some valuable knowledge about how to fix reports.
yup, this doesn’t sound too far off from a few of my early job mistakes, especially when things are moving too fast to stop and ask someone “am I doing this right?”
After your other intern stories though I’m not optimistic about this one taking the next step of learning a valuable lesson and fixing things well, but we can hope!
SO MUCH MADNESS. It’s a good thing there was a cash bar or I think my ED would have had a stroke. I am still calculating revenues but it is not insignificant in the grand scheme of our little org.
Plus side: have gotten three free bottles of v v good wine out of the deal
Down side: have now got to jump headfirst into another event that’s in 3.5 weeks
Another?!? Two mad events in the space of a month is ridiculous! (Not telling you anything you don’t know, I’m sure…) Good wine is good but I’d push for good whisky next time dammit. And also competent interns.
Another. At least the next one is our 5K so it’s actually one I enjoy, and much of the planning is already done.
Still hoping for that new job. I am burned the fuck out.
Oh, and I need to make sure that I have my boots-with-wings pic uploaded somewhere i can post here…..
Did you see the Weepies on Monday?!?!?
I went to the Friday concert in Boston, and they did, in fact, see my picture on twitter and fave it!!
https://twitter.com/cosetthetable/status/61444854…
(I have just realized that i will be able to embed the photo on twitter in the open thread. EXCELLENT.)
VERY NICE BOOTS, well done!
Fabulous!
Ask A Manager has published an update on the sex club story! http://www.askamanager.org/2015/06/update-i-walke…
me reading that follow up,
I’m on Team Not a Hoax. Also Team Keep Refreshing The Comments.
“He also mentioned that another coworker of ours reported that on one of the three slots in the tampon dispenser in the ladies room had never worked and had been labeled “out of order” (and had been so ever since I can remember). She just happened to let her curiosity get the best of her one day and turned the knob and what came out? A condom. Weird, I know. I have no idea who loads those things, if it’s the maintenance workers or if we have someone in the office that’s responsible for it or if it’s serviced by a third party company.”
wut
Supervisor (smiling): “You guys have a good day, quack quack.”
The supervisor closes the door behind them, then turns away slightly. His expression becomes deadly serious as he places a phone to his ear.
Supervisor: “Launchpad? This is Darkwing. We have a problem.”
Literally the only possible explanation.
Let’s hear it for Misty Copeland, who yesterday became ABT’s first African American principal! Everything in ballet is a struggle and nobody gets to the top without extraordinary effort, but she’s come up hard even for a dancer. I hope she gives herself time to revel in what she’s earned.
ETA: flawless.
She is a stunning talent.
I’d like to see some advice articles for men, telling them to be more gracious and to use just and sorry more often. Why is everything women do wrong, and the old aggressive patriarchal way the only correct way?
I agree, but I fear the answer is, “because, power.”
Every single time I see a piece about impostor syndrome I want to rant and scream about Presumptuous Blowhard Syndrome. >:(
Which 90% of the men I have ever or will ever work with have.
Yeah, this really gets me. I spent a couple of months working in a lab where I clashed with a couple of the guys who worked there because they were SO sure they were right and were sure that every comment that came through their heads was worth sharing. I was beating myself up about not being “confident” enough and standing up to them, but at some point I realized that fuck that, I don’t want to be the person yelling at someone else because the only way to be heard was to be the one who yelled loudest. I didn’t join that lab, shockingly.
Women apologizing IS the patriarchal way.
THIS!
i’ve already replaced “sorry” with “excuse me” (such as when two people cross paths at an intersection or doorway) and recently changed my standard email closing from “thank you” to “regards” (you only get a thank you if i’m actually requesting something from you). i have recently noticed that i use “just” A LOT and will now officially begin a campaign to stahp it.
equating submissive or deferential language with “polite” behavior is not how i want the world to work so i refuse to play by those rules. hrmph.
It seems to me like an adaptive behavior, not a root cause. We didn’t apologize our way into a patriarchy; you don’t fix oppression by fixing the behavior of an oppressed group to be more like the oppressor. It makes more sense to address the behavior of the privileged group, and yet articles on gender in the popular press overwhelmingly send the message “Women: Man Up. Men: You’re Awesome.”
NICOLE WHERE IS THE TD PIECE YOU PROMISED I NEEEED TO MAKE FUN OF IT SOME MORE
You get the TD piece you deserve.
I mean, every now and then someone will publish an article about how women are unconsciously sabotaging themselves just by talking. I recall another one that showed research (as opposed to anecdata) demonstrating that women generally use more “I” phrases (softening statements with I think, I feel, I believe) in the workplace. But–crucial difference here–the male researcher also counted I-phrases in his own communications, and found that he had about a million more I-phrases in his emails to his dean than in emails to his students. His conclusion was that this softened, indirect language is not only a function of gender but of your relationship with authority in a specific context.
This study and the BI article stop short of drawing any meaningful conclusions about gender–that if women frequently use self-effacing language in work situations, maybe they see a benefit in doing so (e.g. as some commenters noted above, sometimes it’s necessary to soften your approach esp. toward men). But if the “former Google exec” is asking her staff to police each other’s speech patterns, that’s not really going to help with the authority part.
That’s what I keep thinking– this is about power and labor’s precarity under capitalism. Which we also still gender. But I wouldn’t expect the business press to say so.
I just watched Rebel Without A Cause last week, and this explains my overwhelming urge to dress up as a Confederate general.
I also think there should be an article about how the use of the word ‘just’ sabotages prayers prayed out loud in church and at bible studies.
Pitch that article!
Maybe I will :-3
Oh yeah. “Dear Heavenly Father, we just come before you today to just ask for you to just bless us as we just seek to know your will for our lives…”
Yes! As a non-religious person I’ve always wondered about the source of that verbal tic. It seems to be filler, the way people say “um, er” in conversation, but it’s prayer-specific filler. Who/what is responsible for this?
Honestly, I have no idea, but it’s a common enough phenomenon that both liberal and conservative Christians have made fun of it.
That article about rape on television perfectly captures why I hated Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.
The article on rape in TV was excellent. And it reminded me of yet another reason to love Hannibal and Bryan Fuller: he has explicitly refused to put sexual violence in the show. http://www.ew.com/article/2015/05/28/hannibal-rap…
I desperately need Netflix to pick up Hannibal for more seasons!!! Bryan Fuller is the best.
Speaking of Netflix, I spent the past two days binge watching Sense8 and I need to talk to someone about it because I Have A Lot Of Feelings.
I have real trouble with his no-rape promise, though, because what happened to Margot last season was 100% rape. It made me physically ill and is one of the biggest reasons I don’t watch the show anymore. The show lingered over her helplessness on the surgery bed, and no, the implication of her revenge-torture at the end of the season does NOT make it better.
Oh, man, that’s true. This is terrible, but I honestly forgot about that horrible plotline, so much insanity was going on at the end of the season. I wonder how Fuller would defend that. I also don’t know, was it in the books? It seems like he’s trying to toe the line of making a fresh adaptation while staying true to the source material, which is why he talked about the challenges with all the rape in the Red Dragon book in that interview. Not that that’s a great defense, though. Hmm.
No, it wasn’t in the books, but it was canon that Margot was a bodybuilder lesbian who was determined to impregnate herself with her brother’s sperm as a form of revenge, so that was its own form of weirdness. But the whole “non-consensual abortion and hysterectomy” was all Fuller.
I do know that he defended the “Margot has sex with Will for his sperm” storyline by saying that he’d asked straight dudes, and they all said they’d TOTALLY have sex with a hot lesbian if she asked them. So. Uh.
I am HERE for Sense8 talk. <3 Nomi and Amanita <3
I LOVE THEM!!! All the relationships in the show made me feel feelings, but theirs was the best. Amanita was definitely my favorite not-connected character. (Although I have to be honest, I definitely didn’t want Kala to marry that guy she doesn’t love, but I just don’t understand why she doesn’t love him, because he’s kind of perfect. Every time I thought he was going to do something crappy or even when he had good reason to be mad at her, he was just awesome. Dude’s a saint.)
I got a little lost in the last episode, though. Was Jonas actually helping Whispers? (I can’t believe that, because he is Sayid and I will love him forever.) What happened to Riley’s dad that she could be taken out of the hospital? Why couldn’t Capheus take over and drive instead of making Riley do it? Why isn’t Season 2 here right now?
Totally, Kala’s bf seemed a standup guy–but at the same time, she seemed to be really aware (if not saying out loud) that she wasn’t really attracted to him in a visceral way, which became clear to her once she met Wolfgang and wanted to jump his bones.
JONAS BETTER BE A GOOD GUY BECAUSE HE IS SAYID. The end. I want him to kill a guy with his feet.
I don’t know if anyone posted this yet, but here is a roundup of some of the pieces artists have been creating in response to Bree Newsome, and they are amazing.
The comic book one is great!
I started to write a little epigram about men and women, which started:
If only women were more like men
life would be much better then
and I meant the last two lines to be a scathing commentary on why the first two lines were nonsense. But I literally could not think of anything to say that wouldn’t be offensive!
The best I could do was:
If only women were more like men
life would be much better then
everyone could be a queen
and all our talk could be obscene
and I don’t know if it’s offensive, or even if it makes any sense! Opinions?
“Politeness would go out the door / We’d waste words on thanks no more….”
Anyway, I think it’s clear what you’re getting at, especially if it goes further and further over the top! Clear in this comment thread context, anyway, outside of that it might come across as “women are inherently nicer.”
“Why can’t a woman be more like a man? Men are so pleasant, so thoroughly square.”
When I got hired at my current job my boss did some specific coaching to help me be more assertive, and one of the first things he did was outlaw the word “just” in my emails. He was totally right. Down with just!!!
So LE CANADA, happy Canada Day! (YOU END IN AN A BUT HAVE A MASCULINE ARTICLE BECAUSE FRENCH WHAT THE SHIT?). I am going to Vancouver tomorrow. What lovely things are there to do and eat there besides ATTEND THE WORLD CUP FINAL AS A LOUD AN SCREECHY AMERICAN (sorry, sorry, it’s the only sport I actually have enough experience both playing and officiating to get both really into and really loud about, I actually almost fell over the bar standing up in my stool last night watching the match). We’ll be there long enough to actually do other things (also, where is a good place to watch the 3rd place match?). We previously went to Edmonton for one of the group stage double-headers and that was quite nice. (I do not thing our seats for the final are anywhere close to as nice as our seats for those matches were, though :()
Also does anyone know what security is like at BC Stadium? Do you think it will be tighter for the final? I did not bring my refillable water bottle to the matches in Edmonton because I was worried about it being confiscated, but then they let people in with them no problem. Also, I felt bad for the poor police who had to stand for the duration of both matches watching the fans rather than the matches.
Speaking of that rape in media article, a friend of mine who is a horror media blogger is doing this: https://twitter.com/lcfremont/status/615648117321… under the hashtag #rapeisnotentertainment. If the images aren’t triggering for you, give her a follow! She’s going to lose some followers and she’ll need some backup dispensing with the army of trolls surely headed her way.
Because there is not enough composer-and-librettist-approved on-stage rape in opera, Damiano Michelietto added some to Guilliaum Tell at Covent Garden.
Spoiler: the audience booed.
I mean apart from the fact that the mascot is clearly in the Confederate Army, a quick google search reveals that Rebel Without A Cause did not come out until 1955. But perhaps the whole high school class saw an early release?
My high school had/has a Native American mascot which was terrible. And people would get so up in arms if you pointed out how racist it was.
9 times out of 10, there’s some thinky piece that talks about language and is like “ugh, the president says ‘I’ too much, he’s way too self-centred!” or “women need to stop with ‘uhm’ all the time!” and the Language Log linguists will pull out their corpula and be all “actually…” and point out where the base statistic is misinterpreted or completely wrong (based only on feelings, not facts!) and then you can be all “writer, if you’re going for an easy hook that’s WRONG, how can you be right about anything else?”
and, anyway, the point is: when you see one of those infuriating or otherwise Non-Linguist Discusses Language pieces, go visit http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/ and see if they’ve got anything up about it yet. Then you can analyze the piece based on the overall themes the author is trying to get at, rather than focusing on the language stuff (which usually means “wait, this author is A Idiot” if they based it all about a Wrong Statistic, but I find it more interesting to look at the social theory stuff in that case anyway).
Relevant to the interests of the Toast: http://castingcallwoe.tumblr.com/
All about casting calls for women.
The piece on Southern black people and the Confederate flag was interesting, especially regarding how differently they view the flag whether it’s sighted south or north of the Mason-Dixon line. I remember seeing it fairly often in the seventies in Wisconsin and Illinois and I always understood it to signify that the wearer/bearer had a thing for southern culture; this was when Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Allman Brothers were at their best and most popular. This, of course, was also the time of The Dukes of Hazzard; “Just’a good ol’ boys/Never meanin’ no harm.” But it didn’t really seem to last, and eventually I realized how racist the North could be as well, with riots centered around busing in Boston and desegregation in Chicago and the Klan practically taking over the state of Indiana in the 1920s. Now, seeing the Confederate flag up north usually signifies one thing: “asshole.”
I’m also interested in reading Blackout, because it was precisely due to my being aware of starting to black out when I drank–and how much I was suppressing awareness that I was blacking out, even when I was sober and trying to do that “detective work” about what I’d said and done, especially online–that I started getting help for my addiction.
I do know that he defended the "Margot has sex with Will for his sperm" storyline by saying that he'd asked straight dudes, and they all said they'd TOTALLY have sex with a hot lesbian if she asked them. So. Uh.
I felt really disappointed that the whole book is leading up to finding out what she's been through, and then it was like, "oh you couldn't think of anything more nuanced or interesting than rape?" Meh.
Thank you so much for the recs and the explanation! Your second to last paragraph really shows how to get a handle on the concept of linguistics (to me, a layperson in this area who has always simultaneously admired and been overwhelmed by the complexities of language). I will add The Power of Babylon to my never-ending reading list immediately.
I'm glad you found it informative! I'm a layperson myself, and just like to read a LOT about linguistics, especially evolutionary linguistics – the study of how language changes over time (I wish I had a more formal education, but made a poor choice in which university to attend). Most of my reading tends to be of the evolutionary kind, just because that's where my interest lies.
There's a whole subfield of sociolinguistics that looks at language use through a sociological lens, which is similar to what the Business Insider article was trying to do, too. And then there's the super sciencey side of linguistics that's literally a study of how we make talky sounds or how our brains process the talky sounds (neurolinguistics). There's about a half-dozen other subfields, and there's a bunch of overlap, too.
You may find that you're interested in learning more about linguistics, but really just want to read about English usage, or maybe orthography… If you'd like an easy way to find out all there is, add Language Log to your Feedly or other RSS reader, and take a peek now and then. They have a good mix of highly technical posts and newbie-friendly ones, and they cover a lot of different topics while being sure to link to references or other relevant blogs/books.
As an example: Victor Mair is a teacher in Hong Kong, and one of his interests is mixed scripts (and also Chinese script in general, and oddities of translations) – he's been posting images of advertisements in Taiwan and Hong Kong where at least three scripts (Chinese, roman, bopomofo) fluidly intermingle to create a single sentence or phrase. It's a growing trend that represents so much about modern communications… but it's also a fairly accessible and interesting series for folks who don't know much about the technical side of linguistics, while still having interest for those who do.