Ta-Nehisi Coates’ MAJESTERIAL piece on mass incarceration in America is out, and I am highly confident it is brilliant, but I am going to bed before I can read it, so I’m linking pre-emptively and we can talk about it in the morning!
The Awl has a very long and good thing about the rise of adblockers, and how they will murder and destroy my beautiful website that I cherish so much, already knocking out an ABSURD percentage of our revenue. Once the redesign hits, and the site becomes beautiful and easy to read and free of auto-play weirdness, etc., I will have to have a long talk with you about the need to whitelist our site. Most regular readers are pretty good about it, honestly, it’s more Facebook traffic, etc., but the single nicest thing you can do for the site is to whitelist:
The math is even starker for smaller publications and individual bloggers, who rely more heavily on display advertising—and who have already been battered by shifts in the advertising market; some longtime professional bloggers, like Heather Armstrong, have given up writing their blogs full-time. The Awl’s publisher Michael Macher told me that “the percentage of the network’s revenue that is blockable by adblocking technology hovers around seventy-five to eighty-five percent.” Nicole Cliffe, one of the founders of The Toast, said that “adblocker is brutal for us. And people always break out the ‘Subscribers model! I donate twenty bucks a year!’ thing but it doesn’t add up.”
Joan Acocella on Elmore Leonard:
In 1981 a fan of Leonard’s, Gregg Sutter, began doing research for him; eventually he went to work for him full-time. Sutter is editing the Library of America’s three-volume set of Leonard’s work. The second volume was just published. Each volume ends with an invaluable twenty-eight-page chronology—almost a biography—and Sutter is at work on a full-scale biography. It is no doubt owing to him that I now know how to open a metal door locked by a deadbolt, where to shoot an alligator (right behind the skull) if I mean to kill it, and how to obtain financing for a movie. Indeed, I believe I could steal a car.
A roundtable on Nancy Meyerssssss:
Tyler: It seems unavoidable to compare Meyers to Nora Ephron, although I agree with what Durga says: Meyers’ women never completely unravel the way Ephron’s can (I’m thinking, in particular, Meryl in It’s Complicated vs. Meryl in Heartburn). Meyers’s M.O. is “keep it breezy, keep it beachy.” Maybe my appreciation for it is rooted in the extremely low stakes she sets up for her characters’ conflict. That’s probably also why a lot of people find her movies somewhat annoying! But again, the stakes are always subjective, and I generally feel as though someone’s hatred of Meyers’ movies is indicative of some deeply rooted anger toward, I dunno, rich white women? Who, as a group, can be annoying, but are probably the least offensive and awful demographic out there. I always mention a co-worker who screamed—SCREAMED!—at me when I said that It’s Complicated is a good movie. “Oh, the one about the lady buying a new kitchen? Yeah, I can really relate to that!” This might be my queer experience here, but…do you have to relate to a protagonist to enjoy a movie? I rarely see many characters exactly like me, and I grew up having to see myself in a variety of people on screen. (Also, does my former coworker “relate” to any of the characters in Pulp Fiction? Gimme a break.) Maybe the idea that Meyer’s successful formula has influenced copycat movies is something that seems so tiresome to mostly male critics, who would rather watch movies about things other than emotional catharses and, well, feelings in general. Those types of movies (at least in Quentin Tarantino’s point of view) are not what anyone “will remember,” because I guess they lack some sort of prestigious filmmaking quality? But I would suggest that Meyers is as much of an auteur as anyone else.
This is a great cause, which helps poor people gain access to affordable legal representation in Canada, and would be a nice thing to support! And here is another one, aiding refugees seeking asylum.
Canadians are known for a few food treasures: poutine, Montreal-style bagels, Tim Horton’s and All Dressed chips. Though we can’t bring you a Timmy Ho’s donut anytime soon, Ruffles isbringing All Dressed chips to a U.S. store near you for a limited time only, from Sept. 14 through Dec. 7.
The terrible world of casting notices:
I’m about a size 10. I don’t go on many auditions, but when I do, the roles I go for are described as “underdog,” “chubby,” and — my favorite — “not aspirational-looking.” I recently did a Listerine audition where a leaf-blower was blown into my mouth from ten inches away as I shouted the phrase “I’m a trainwreck!” over and over again, while the older white male “boss type” I was playing opposite reacted in horror. The roles I am considered “right” for are never those of bosses (because I am not male) or strong, confident women (because I am not thin by commercial standards).
My friend Carrie’s new puppy ate about twenty pounds of treats in puppy training class:
You know we love us any story about our favourite lady pirates:
The fateful meeting of these two “fierce hell cats” occurred when Calico Jack’s crew overtook the ship Mary Read was currently crewing. Mary joined Calico Jack’s gang. Legend has it that Anne became attracted to the feminine man with the high pitched voice. When Mary revealed her true gender to Anne, it only deepened their friendship–which some say turned to romance.
As a Key and Peele megastan, I am only reconciled to the show’s end by being able to enjoy all the retrospectives and thinkpieces the final season has spawned. I have plenty of quibbles with this definitive ranking of all 298 sketches, but we agree solidly on the genius of the Gremlins 2 script doctor sketch, which I literally cannot stop watching:
I have nothing intelligent to say, because I am so tired that while reading the excerpt of the Nancy Meyers piece I parsed “catharses” as “cathearses” and spent several long minutes trying to figure out exactly what movies about emotional cat funerals I had been missing out on for all these years.
I read “carthorses”.
Carrie’s puppy continues to brighten my every morning.
Just so faaaaaaaaaaaaat with treats! Such a big tummy to nuzzle.
“My friend Carrie’s new puppy ate about twenty pounds of treats in puppy training class”
there is nothing that is not perfect about that sentence
I don’t want to take anything away from Anne Bonny and Mary Read because of course they are great lady pirates, but I also do want to give a quick thumbs-up to Calico Jack Rackham for 1) having probably the best name in pirate history and 2) for setting an example for dudes everywhere by just being cool with everything.
“Oh, is the lady pirate that I had an affair with and who is maybe pregnant with my child now having an affair with a different lady pirate that I invited to join my crew after taking her ship? Rad, man, she can do what she wants, that is the pirate life!”
Seriously though, Rackham seems like the chillest pirate in existence, it makes me so happy that pop culture and the miraculous disaster that was the Pirates of the Caribbean scriptwriting team have turned him into Jack Sparrow. I mean, he was also kind of terrible at being a pirate, but that’s really more points in his favor.
The Jolly Roger should just be a skull with two skeleton hands giving the thumbs-up.
When we all take to the sea, that shall be our standard.
The Jolliest Roger
There have to be a dozen webcartoonists out there who make their money off T-shirt sales that would climb over each other to make that happen.
Shit, what am I saying? We were talking about Toast merch just the other day.
He’s a character in Black Sails on Starz, which is actually pretty good!
I was just thinking this description sounded awfully familiar!
“What matters here is that she’s a way better pirate than I am, friends.”
Now I’m picturing Jack Sparrow saying this while making the “LOOK AT THIS HUMAN PERFECTION” gesture at Anamaria, and it’s making me happy.
And then somebody evinces skepticism, and Anamaria punches them the fuck out.
what that is not the version of the story that I learned, I thought Jack was really jealous when Anne started spending too much time with Mary (when he thought she was a man) and then chilled out when he found out she was a woman.
well, I don’t know, but they all ended up on the pirate ship together boning each other (apparently), so I guess it worked out in the end
Update. I think cat may be a Gomez. Unflappable and overly affectionate. Neat, sweet, and fairly petite.
Call him that for a bit and see if it sticks? Either it will, or his real name will start making itself known as you get to know him better.
I like Gomez so far, if only because it means I also get to call him bubbeleh. And the look on his face whenever I come into the room is essentially the feline version of “Tish! You spoke French!”
Oh wow they are green! They look so blue in yesterday’s photo.
What a beauty!
Is anyone else following this story? It is strange and terrible and I can’t look away:
http://www.smh.com.au/national/unmasking-a-troll-…
Short version: Joshua Goldberg, a 20-year-old Florida (of course) Gamergater (of course) concocted a complex series of fake, trolling accounts all over the Internet to prove a variety of terrible things about people that weren’t true. His special ire was reserved for Muslims, and he created an account, “Australi Witness,” which purported to be an ISIS supporter soliciting terrorist attacks. He thought American Muslims would flock to Australi Witness, and then he would show how intrinsically violent they all are, or something. Except he only got one taker, whom he instructed on bomb techniques to carry out an attack on 9/11. Needless to say, this wasn’t a terrorist at all he was talking to, but an FBI agent, and Goldberg was arrested last week.
In the meantime, he impersonated an Australian-Jewish attorney to call for Palestinian genocide, faked transphobic comments from a feminist, and then tried to rally outrage against his fakes. He was also the Breitbart source for the claim that Shaun King was secretly a white person, and otherwise wreaked havoc across the Internet.
And now the Feds got him.
YES
I hope the judge for his case cooks up some really appropriate and creative punishment. Maybe on a bridge, for troll-posterity.
I don’t know what that punishment would be, but I like where your head’s at.
Like, some kind of goat-care community service, or general bridge maintenance? Preferably where issued a literal gag order where he can only use genuine documented troll phrases like “Who’s that tripping over my bridge?” in daily and digital life.
‘goat-care community service, or general bridge maintenance’.
Genius.
I have been and I feel weird about it because on the one hand, that dude is a terrible garbage person, who definitely deserves to be unhappy in life, but on the other hand the terrorism charge they’ve got him on is part of this weird bunk terrorism-catching process that the FBI has, where no actual terrorists or terrorism is involved. It is essentially 100% the FBI’s terrorism Pre-Crime Division, where they arrest you because you maybe would have supported a real terrorist one day.
Yeah, I think there are definite issues with that program, but reading the transcripts, I would have guessed that Goldberg was the FBI agent and not the stooge in this thing.
REAL TRANSCRIPT EXCERPTS:
FBI Agent: “Hey bro I’m going to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow. Hit me up in the day if you want maybe I’ll be around. Salaam’
Goldberg: “Hopefully there will be some jihad on the anniversary of 9/11.”
FBI Agent: “I don’t have any bombs. I don’t know how to make them.”
Goldberg: “What weapons do you have brother? I can send you guides on how to make bombs if You need help making them”
Goldberg: (unsolicited) “lf you can, dip the screws and other shrapnel in rat poison before putting them in. That way, the kuffar who get hit by them will be more likely to die.”
I agree with your discomfort on the FBI’s minority report strategy.
I also have a question: how is his threatening behavior any different than the abuse women encounter every day online and why isn’t the FBI posting agents to investigate and arrest those people? The threats of violence are the same.
They send swat teams to people’s homes, risking people’s lives, wasting public resources
They threaten women and their families with bodily harm.
If they can catch this guy why can’t they catch the others? They aren’t even hiding. I’ve worked in IT. There are lots of ways to track down these people. They aren’t even trying
Yeah – and I mean, they’re handed files full of threats. It’s not like they even have to do any digging.
They didn’t catch this guy via any kind of anti-trolling campaign. They thought he was a real terrorist/wannabe.
The so-called trolls are not really trolls at all, they are terrorist wannabes
They are causing actual terror, chilling speech, shutting down websites, sending out swat teams, costing us all money.
They actually plan all of these harmful activities online in plain sight
The FBI should be after them. How is what this guy did different? Just that his targets were international?
Just that the Global War on Terror only cares if it’s about ISIS/Al Qaeda stuff and not any other kinds of terror.
This is bizarre and I can’t even process it. I am flabbergasted that he has enough time to concoct all of this while I can’t even find the time to toast a bagel before I go to work.
According to the report, he literally lives at home in his parents’ basement.
He sounds like a literal troll and not just a metaphorical one… And given the specificity of his threats I don’t feel bad about him being caught up in an FBI sting.
The problem that I have is less him getting caught up in it, and more the idea of what the FBI sting is in the first place.
I don’t want to ride your ass too hard about this since I trafficked in this phrase myself in years past, but living in mom’s basement isn’t just for maladjusted white boys. I literally live in mom’s basement because I have physical disabilities and need both the economic support and physical care of my parents. It’s probably best to let this stereotype die.
That is fair. This guy’s problem is that he is a maladjusted shitheel; there’s no need to malign people who share living space with their families by associating him with them.
I had such terrible insomnia last night but this may really help me sleep peacefully and happily tonight knowing this complete fucking dumbass is in jail.
This reminds me of a story that was all over the internet a couple years ago but I can’t remember the details– a blogger claimed to be a lesbian living in the middle east who was facing persecution, and her verifying source was a western lesbian blogger who was in some kind of relationship with her even though they had never met irl? And as things got more dramatic for the middle eastern blogger, people starting looking into it and it turned out that both bloggers were bored white dudes?
You know the old saying, “on the internet, nobody knows you’re some dude with nothing better to do.”
Gay Girl in Damascus! They actually just made a documentary about that whole trainwreck, I think it’s screening at TIFF.
That sounds interesting!
This is one of my absolute favorite examples of truth being stranger than fiction.
Wait, he’s the same guy who impersonated a Jewish lawyer’s identity to call for genocide on the Times of Israel? This fucking guy, he’s been everywhere doing horrible things. Glad he was caught.
I will read Coates’ latest epic when I get a couple hours free. Has everyone else read “Between the World and Me”? I highly recommend it.
Darn, this thing is practically a book! I’m reading a bit at a time.
Any other Canadian Toasties becoming increasingly embarrassed about Tim Horton’s? Their donuts and coffee and bagels and muffins all taste so much worse than they did when I worked there a decade ago. Like, I drink gas station coffee now, because it’s better than Tim’s.
I was recently in Toronto and I couldn’t believe the Tim Horton’s density, which far outmatched Starbucks, even.
Oh man I worked there a decade ago as a baker. I used to just make extra sour-cream doughnuts for myself and quadruple-glaze them.
Honestly I’m stil pissed that the lids stopped fitting properly ~4 years ago.
I was a baker too! We used to sell gingerbread men and I got to decorate them however I wanted. Also, I have fond memories of being trained by an old-guard veteran baker, Larry, who reminisced about the old days when they fried their donuts, you know, in a fryer, and did everything so fast he had time for smoke breaks between every batch of trays in the oven. Larry!
^This. It’s now owned by Burger King and they have deep fried chicken sandwiches on the menu. Sigh.
And NO MORE EGG SALAD. It broke my heart into a million pieces when they phased it out.
I keep forgetting this part. And then I remember and get all sad again, because when the doughnuts are no longer edible, where will I go? 🙁
I’ve never liked Tim’s very much and now its just inedible/undrinkable. And people go ape for it! I just don’t understand.
We have Tim Horton’s here in upstate NY and I can’t say as how I ever got the appeal. Perhaps because by the time they came here the quality was already down? I do love their cheese croissants though.
I’ve never been, but it was a little creepy how a million of them just appeared here overnight, as if by magic. CANADIAN MAGIC.
I concur. The THs I remember from a youth full of trips from Upstate to Southern Ontario are not the THs that have infiltrated Upstate.
I must have no taste buds because I still really enjoy Tim’s coffee and tea and pastries. Medium tea with one cream and one sugar and a plain old fashioned doughnut is my jam.
I haven’t had their muffins in ages — I used to really like their carrot orange, I hope it’s still good. I also thought their coffee, ice caps, and hot chocolates were all fine. But then I moved from Office In Walking Distance Only To Timmy’s. I did have something in July when I was driving back from Ottawa and didn’t find it memorably good or bad.
Actually maybe that was in February.
I haven’t yet forgiven my local Tim’s which recently decided to close only between the hours of midnight and 4 am. Apparently the late night drunk donut crowd is not that valuable to them.
I still love their chocolate glazed doughnuts, but their whole thing with creating new doughnuts seems to be an extended experiment in finding the most disgusting combination of foodstuffs possible. No I do NOT want to eat a doughnut covered in Nutella with mini Rollos on top.
I think they stopped baking the donuts in-house because they are far, far worse than before, and the horrible novelty iced drinks are bringing shame upon our house. Also I really miss the raisin tea-biscuits, when did they stop making them? They were so good!
(Unfortunately Tim’s is the only thing open past 9 in my sleepy Quebec town so I still succumb to the sour-cream glaze fairly often, despite the fact that it’s a shadow of its former self)
Agreed the food is now terrible, but also, who calls it Timmy Ho’s? I have never heard that! Is it supposed to sound like HuffPo?
Probably supposed to sound like “Mickey D’s” 🙁 Tim Horton’s– stop trying to make Timmy Ho’s happen!
OK when I used to WORK at Tim’s 15 years ago in my small Central Ontario town, slang for girls who WORKED at Tim Horton’s was “Timmy Ho”, but not the restaurant itself.
Here in Western New York, we claim Tim Horton (the player and the chain) as our own hometown favorite.
But nobody will say that the Emperor has no clothes. It’s awful.
I’m willing to bet that Wegmans’ donuts are way better…
WEGMANS.
<whispers> wegmans. </whispers>
(Yes, their donuts are way better.)
but I enjoy their dark roast SO MUCH more than the standard coffee, despite the terribly embarrassing ads.
DON’T DISILLUSION ME!
Are you sure that it’s not just that you’re 30 now and not 20? I will never get over that Rice-a-roni tastes terrible to me now.
I was really mad last week cuz I got the Reese donut, which has regular boston cream inside of it, instead of some special peanut butter cream, which would have been 100% more appropriate.
I… need a movie about Anne Bonny and Mary Read where at the end they escape and live together raising their babies.
Also, l’shanah tovah to any other fellow Jewish people! Yesterday at services, I was pleased to hear my Rabbi give a speech advocating for donations to help the refuge crises. (If you’re in the Connecticut area– or probably anywhere else actually– check out the Jewish Federation of Hartford’s Donation page.) I was less pleased to find out from my Mom/sister that my two (male, conservative) cousins are both supporting TRUMP for 2016. I mean I knew they were conservative (and vaguely sexist and classist and homophobic and probably racist) but this is like a whole new level for me, I mean, I thought they were at least somewhat smart??? But no. (My brain broke for several hours following this revelation.)
My father-in-law is apparently supporting Trump because of his policies — “well, he’s the only Republican who’s pro-choice! He can get things done! When our ancestors came to this country, they had to learn English!” On that last point, I have read the attacks people wrote about the Jews who immigrated at the turn of the last century, and they’re nearly word-for-word what Trump is saying, so I can’t understand how any Jews could ever support a xenophobe.
Also, shana tovah u’metukah!
I desperately need that movie! Oh man. Or if there were some way to know that their children (presumably both with Calico Jack?) grew up and somehow found each other and became best friends? I know it’s basically impossible but it would just be the coolest.
Re: Trump – I haven’t spoken to my mother in 6+ months (long story) so I don’t exactly know her views on The Donald, but she listens with her whole heart to awful people like Bill O’Reilly, so if all the conservative asshole-type pundits like Trump, so does my mother. I haven’t voted since 2004 out of a conflict of conscience, but if Trump is the GOP nominee, I am going to have to update my registration and vote. Because a conflicting conscience is always going to be miles better than Trump as POTUS. *shiver*
ayyyyy Connecticut Jewish toasties
I had The Toast Dot Net whitelisted since inception, but a couple of months ago the browser crashes and redirects simply got to be too much, and I thought, “as soon as I can afford it, I will donate to make up for the fact that I am now blocking their ads, because my sanity.” But I would be SO happy to see a redesign that makes the site viewable without constant crashes, not only because it would allow me to support you in the way that I am best suited for (sitting on my ass, passively), but it would allow me to again be able to enjoy the collective head-shaking and cackling at the weirdest ads that show up.
I am also terrifically excited for a site that will not be exquisite pain to read white-listed. I love you, Toast, I do, and I will wholeheartedly give you my ad views as long as they will actually allow me to simultaneously read your site without my whole browser seizing up. In the meantime, I’m off to donate $20.
Yes, I also had the Toast blacklisted for a while, mostly because of autoplaying videos. I have to keep my sound on at work because I am the chat librarian most of the day, so those autoplays were an issue, to put it lightly. Evidence I probably shouldn’t be paid as much as I am because I’m usually on the web for non-work related* things, more honestly.
*Though I feel there are enough librarians on here that it should count as professional development time.
I am officially enabling both your and my use of The Toast as professional development time: What chat software do you use? I’m trying to talk my library into offering a chat service.
We have LibChat and it’s pretty good except it doesn’t open in a separate window which can cause some connection problems when a patron tries to click elsewhere on the page. LibraryH3lp doesn’t seem to have that problem but I haven’t used it recently.
We use LibraryH3lp. It does what we need it to do at a small academic library: be cheap, be simple to use, have widgets that we can embed in the website and LibGuides, and have very responsive support because I’m the closest thing we have to a tech person, and I’m terrible. It doesn’t default to opening in a separate window, but the patron can shift it to one after the chat begins. We do have the texting add on, but probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t a consortial purchase.
Yes, agreed. SO excited to have an iPad experience that doesn’t open the app store, or randomly change links I add to comments, or have an entire homepage where none of the links work.
I was gonna say: yep, just fine with viewing static ads, but autoplaying Flash videos and redirects make everything die forever.
My computer is just barely ok with them – they make it run a bit chunky but it doesn’t crash or anything. But I’m light sensitive and I find the movement makes it basically impossible for me to read without either getting distracted or getting an actual migraines, depending on how much flashing is going on (usually lots, because they’re trying to get my attention). Not good.
I suffer pretty much constant guilt over blacklisting The Toast, but like you said, it got to a point where it was unreadable. The VERY MINUTE they announce the new redesign I am gonna turn off my ad blocker and throw it in the garbage! In the meantime I will keep trying to toss some bill$ your way, Nicole and Mallory!
I have the toast on “less intrusive ads” because of the autoplay. It works well.
I do too but I somehow see zero ads anyway.
So I just whitelisted the toast but added a flash blocker and I can now see some ads but not the autoplay that kept crashing my browser. Yay.
oh that’s a good idea!!
Yes, yes, what everyone else is saying! God knows I want this to be a profitable endeavor for all of you — more than profitable, I want you to sit on heaps of money from the glorious Toast, which is seriously one of the best things on the internet so you should get a SERIOUS reward for having created it. And I cannot WAIT to whitelist The Toast when that won’t prevent me from reading your actual content!
My main problem with ads (everywhere, not just here) is they are a major attack vector for malware:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/08/27/malvertis…
I don’t really know what can be done about that, it’s not the website operator’s fault, more that ad networks don’t screen who is buying ad time.
Bingo! This is why I never click on ads. I’m avoiding malware and cookie crap. If I see an ad that interests me (“A sale at Macy’s? Oo, maybe something I need!”) I open a new tab and go directly to that vendor’s website by physically typing their address or name. I do my own driving, ad networks, but thanks for the heads-up.
Properly guilted, I went to white-list The Toast … only to find out I’d already done it! But I wasn’t seeing any ads, oddly enough. So I figured it was probably noscript*, and tried to find the proper script to allow. But man, there are a LOT of scripts on this page. I went through multiple rounds of “allow all on this page” and am now allowing 51 scripts (and seeing ads).
So, three questions:
– how much do you earn from non-USians? I ask because Slate recently put up a paywall for those of us outside the US because they were generating too little revenue.
– will the site still have so many scripts, still, after the redesign?
– if I want to allow ads, do you by any chance know which scripts to allow? I mean, obviously the ones with “ad” in the name, but that didn’t seem to be sufficient when I tried it.
*it’s an add-on that allows you to control what JavaScript runs in a browser.
I have huge issues specifically with scripts and Chrome, which is unfortunately my only browser choice at work, where I do most of my Toast-reading. I know it’s largely an issue with our Chrome set-up, but it’s not something I can easily change on the desk computers *glum*
The Toast and Chrome are such a bad mix I’m considering not using Chrome anymore.
I downloaded Firefox specifically to read the Toast because the Linux version of Chrome haaaaaates this website. So excited for the redesign!
I stopped using Chrome entirely and went back to Firefox a few months ago. Flash issues, memory usage, crashing, never being able to play video (I was switching to Safari!) got to be too much. Firefox isn’t perfect, but it’s so much easier and less frustrating.
http://bawdyfox.com/my-teenage-abortion-5-years-o…
There’s a big Pro-Choice push happening all of a sudden in Ireland (It seems a pretty co-ordinated, but hey I’m not complaining!), some women have come out and publicly written about having abortions, and now its all over the media, which is great, but this one really got me. A very real depiction of what its like to be a young women in Ireland.
Ugh, “relatable.” The bane of literature professors everywhere.
I am trying to get my students to think about whether a character is “compelling” instead of “relatable.” Because let’s face it, I don’t really find Iago (for instance) all that relatable, but he is compelling AF.
Look, which of us hasn’t, at one time or another, gotten super-mad at a friend for getting promoted over us, and used societal racism to manipulate him and everybody he loves to get him to kill them all and then himself?
Well, I mean, when you put it like that it does start to look a lot like grad school….
FINE. whitelisted. But…I donated every month for a year or so (can’t afford it right now), so does that balance? Not to be petty, but I thought donating meant we got to sponsor stories?
It does! You can email Nikki to let her know and she will talk to you about sponsoring an upcoming piece!
ALL-DRESSED CHIPS ARE THE BEST CHIPS
I am very happy for you USians who now get to revel in their glory.
I saw them this morning in CVS and was intrigued. Will definitely buy a bag.
I emailed my ex boyfriend to tell him–we spent two months in Canada while on a bicycle tour (mostly the prairie provinces) and ate SO MANY all-dressed chips.
For whatever reason, I’m completely unable to read this site without adblocker. I don’t want to use it! But I’m really looking forward to the redesign.
I just read that Ta Nehisi Coates piece and it is truly amazing. That and the piece on Canadian aboriginal women posted here yesterday are just so smart and I hope everyone reads them. I have nothing to say but wow.
I dunno, rich white women? Who, as a group, can be annoying, but are probably the least offensive and awful demographic out there.
…What?
Right?
………….
Yeah, I don’t think that rich white women are the worst offensive and awful demographic out there, buuuuuut…..
As a somewhat well off white woman I am a little hurt… Although I guess there are other less offensive demographics…
I mean, let me tell you, I am a moderately-well-off white guy, and I am not ashamed to say that as a demographic we are definitely definitely much worse, don’t get me wrong. But I am going to have to strenuously object to the idea that any demographic that can be described as “rich” and/or “white” is basically harmless or without intrinsic offense.
yeah, I’m a moderately well-off Asian woman and I can barely stand myself sometimes, so
ugh, man, dang, this was a stupid thing for me to get involved in, I should not be offering up opinions on this subject, I guess i just got carried away by my instinct to leap in and shout EAT THE RICH whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Sorry everyone, I got to go somewhere and cool off a little bit
#eattherich , tho
No, you’re cool.
–upper-middle class white woman
Seconded. I’m a moderately well off, middle class white woman and yup. We can be terrible. Many of us try not to be but I can tell you there’s a whole LOT of not-try as well, so yeah, as a group? I definitely wouldn’t list us as ‘least offensive’, like, ever.
I love it when men talk about how annoying or not-annoying or offensive or not-offensive women are, too
The quote made sense in my head through “offensive”, given how much of a social construct that is. Ie, rich white women might take a lot of care to avoid doing anything that could be seen as “offensive”, are the most thoroughly obsequent to norms, etc. But there’s no way to get to “least awful” without falling over sideways at it.
Anecdotally, richly attired middle-aged white women have always been the most entitled, irritating customers, and also the most likely to ask to speak to your manager
“I have assorted ill feelings and I’m about to make them your problem, since you, powerless lackey, are trapped between the rent check and your shitty, unsupportive manager.”–Rich white women in retail stores and restaurants everywhere.
“I am experiencing existential malaise, which I’m going to re-direct onto you, helpless barista. I asked for my chai at 185, not 180.*”
*actual experience I had at Starbucks. No, Jenny, you can’t tell the difference between 180 and 185, I need you to calm down now.
Actual thing that happened at the local food co-op: older, well-off white woman complains to cashier that her shelves have become sullied with Conventional Products. Cashier explains that they have started carrying–shock, horror!–things like Rice Krispies and non-organic apple juice because they are becoming a WIC program participant. (For non US-ians, WIC stands for Women, Infants, Children and provides assistance with grocery staples to W, I, and C who meet income/need requirements.)
Rich white lady: “Well. I just think you have to draw the line somewhere.”
(Co-op is located in one of the lowest-income neighborhoods in town, by the way.)
“How DARE they. We don’t feed poor infants; we eat them.”
I sometimes feel as if rich people are actively trying to be the worst.
(full disclosure: I was the cashier)
I should note that for every customer like her, there were two or three who said, “Oh, what a wonderful idea,” or “I’m so glad–we need to be better neighbors in this area,” or “Wow, it’s about time–great news!”
wooooooow
The worst part is that she’s fully aware that she acts like a princess. She told us that her father used to call her his little princess, and she’s just wanted to be treated that way ever since. So just self-aware enough to acknowledge that her expectations are unusual, but not so self-aware that she realizes she should probably change.
I used to be a sales associate at a mid-priced mall store aimed at 35+ish women in an overwhelmingly white area. I still may bear the emotional scars.
I used to work at a bourgie outdoors store (basically green-washed sportchek but with hiking stuff). We had recently discontinued silk thermal garments after the store finally figured out that actually, silk is not terribly great at insulating for the price. THE RAGE. Oh, my god. The rage. Nevermind that the synthetic stuff we carried was better, softer and cheaper, how DARE you discontinue my fancy silk unders (that no actual hiker ever buys)? You must be hiding it in the back. Can I speak to your manager? I know the regional rep, I’ll get you fired unless you sell me some silk thermals!
And then the store decided to update it’s logo. Oh. God. What an adventure.
Funny, I would have thought this was techbros. I for one would like to say that I go out of my way to be nice to retail/waitstaff, and hopefully this will not change when I become megarich, which could happen ANY DAY NOW.
I think techbros could be pretty bad but I’ve never really encountered them in the regions where I’ve lived. Snobbish rich ladies are pretty universal.
OH YES. I have been very offended by wealthy white women in my time.
Well, I pretty much agree with the top 10 Key and Peele sketches there (except for maybe the insult comic- I would have put in the zombie one where they’re afraid of black people). THE CONTINENTAL. IT IS SO GOOD.
DID ANYONE ELSE WATCH AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR LAST NIGHT THOUGH? Forearms! Climbing! Yay!
YES! And now I need all the awesome women of ANW to step it up a notch for next season. (Just don’t hurt yourselves, okay?)
I’ve never bothered to get an adblocker because I am just that lazy, but also because both my work computer and my home computer (home computer is an 8 year old iMac, they don’t make ’em like they used to) probably wouldn’t function with one. Anyway I do always see tons of ads but the videos don’t work, so, well, I am sorry if my ancient electronics are causing revenue loss…
My also 8 year old macbook can’t handle most ads and autoplay videos and I need to run an adblocker on it, just to get basic functionality. I love my old computer though, and the thought of trying to buy a new one is just too much.
It’s not that characters shouldn’t be relatable, because most of the books and films I enjoy have characters I do relate with. But relatability is SO different from being in the same circumstances as a character, and often about one trait or concern or way of thinking that felt exclusive and personal to me.
“It’s Complicated” is not a film about a woman redoing her kitchen; it’s a film about someone who, after rebuilding a life that she is happy with after a betrayal, suddenly has the chance to gain back what she lost, or move forward and see what else life offers. Plus, Meryl Streep is an excellent actress, and watching her be happy and have fun on screen is just excellent.
Nancy Myers makes very gentle films, to the point where she re-landscaped Streep’s house in “It’s Complicated” so that there weren’t any spiky plants in the garden, because the whole house was supposed to be cozy. One can dislike her films, but she does know what she’s doing, and the anger at people liking films like that feels more like an anger towards women enjoying media that is geared more for them, with female protagonists, than any idea of quality.
Applauding every single thing in this comment!!!
I forgot my wallet today and just ate a TJs frozen spinach stuffed shell lunch for breakfast and it was PERFECT. Pasta for breakfast, every day.
Pasta for every meal!
(I literally eat it several times a day.)
I have a question – Is blocking Adobe Flash Player the same as ad-blocking?? I have Chrome set up to just block all Flash Player things on all websites, and that has kept the Toast from crashing and doing other random weird stuff. If that’s also an ad-blocker, please let me know! I am a babe in the woods of the interwebs/programming/html and assorted stuffs!
Blocking flash, at this point, is just common sense – it’s flat-out dangerous, and has many known exploits. Blocking flash should just stop (some) video-ads from playing, but would not in principle interfere with visual and/or text ads.
Agreed. I always block flash and scripts but will unblock other ads for a site I care about (like <3 this one <3) that asks me nicely not to.
Another good extension: Better Privacy, which gets rid of LSO cookies after you close your browser.
Ha, I just asked the same thing in a different thread, jinx. I sure hope this is fine because it’s the only way I’ve been able to make the site function!
I do the same thing, and it definitely blocks some ads — I do sometimes see little grey boxes in the ad space instead of an ad, and I assume that’s when there’s a video ad (or other type of ad that depends on Flash?), so the Toast isn’t getting its share of revenue from that one. But right now, I can see a total of 7 ads on the page, all just hanging out around the margins of the page being non-intrusive and non-offensive, so they are getting revenue from me seeing those, at least.
It really, really sucks how much site owners are at the mercy of ad networks and advertisers in terms of controlling the type of ads on their sites. I know Alison Green at Ask A Manager has talked a fair amount recently about this, where her problem is apparently that she can tell the ad network what types of ads she wants blocked, and they will make at least some effort to comply, but even if they do everything in their power to restrict, say, autoplay ads, advertisers will straight-up ignore the restriction and serve autoplay ads while saying “Oh, no, this ad definitely doesn’t autoplay, it is very well-behaved and discreet.” Which makes no sense to me, because surely they also suffer when their ads drive users to install adblockers? Just… less immediately than the site owner, maybe? Can anyone who understands internet advertising better than I do explain?
I actually don’t think anyone really understands internet advertising, because it operates against all good sense and reason. To ad networks, the solution to people tuning out or blocking ads is not to improve the quality of the ads, it’s to go for broke doing the things that people hate them for doing. I guess in a perverse way it could be like whaling in casual games, where the more heavy-handed your tactics are, the more people you turn off, but the ones you still manage to catch get REALLY caught and make up the loss, but I can’t see that being sustainable long-term.
Especially on mobile devices, I’m hoping that iOS 9’s content blocker extensions actually make the ad agencies realize just how far they’ve crawled up their own assholes and do better, rather than continuing their business-as-usual efforts to bypass every ounce of decency and good sense in the known universe just to get one more view out of their auto-playing punch the monkey scam ad. It really is disgusting just how badly the ad networks have fallen down on the job of making sure they’re not serving garbage and malware to the sites that are at their mercy for income. I really, genuinely do feel terrible about having The Toast blacklisted, but in my whitelist trial, I was routinely seeing dozens of megabytes of material being streamed, without end, from dozens of locations via hundreds of scripts for minutes and minutes just on a single page. Between the performance impact that this has on my browser and the fact that I’m at work where internet traffic is at least theoretically monitored, having a big fat pipe open all day just from poking around The Toast is eventually gonna get noticed. I really do hope that the redesign will mean I can whitelist this site, but as long as the ad networks continue to ignore the gross violations of acceptability in the crap they serve, I’m only cautiously optimistic on that front at the moment.
Nothing will ever top the Shakespeare sketch for me. I guess you could say, it ’tis my SHYTE!
Terrifying article that will fill you with rage about the shooter in Charleston. Pay attention to the people around you and what they are saying, people! Goddamnit, I have to watch that Gremlins 2 sketch again just to lower my blood pressure.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2015/09…
That didn’t fill me with rage as much as it did sympathy…
The rage I felt is at the systems that perpetuate poverty and that make guns too easy to obtain. Sure, pay attention to what people are saying, but it’s totally understandable to me that they didn’t believe their friend was serious. And what are the authorities to do anyway? Dylann Roof’s gun was obtained legally (albeit thanks to a flaw in the background check system). How much can be done because someone’s buddy said their friend said some stuff while drunk?
Yeah, I got the impression that things were so bad for everyone in their social circle that people said things like “I’m going to kill myself” or “I’m going to do something crazy” on a regular basis, and it eventually becomes just background noise. Like someone living with suicidal ideation- after awhile, it stops being scary and starts to be your new normal.
That article fills me with rage because of how it’s written. The writer seems to be striving more for elliptical/”writerly” writing, and less for illuminating what happened.
Yeah it did seem like they were trying to Hunter S. Thompson that piece.
That really bothered me too. There was also a sense of “look at the miseryyyyyy!” that really bothered me.
Question from a not-particularly-tech-savvy person: I do 99% of my Toast-reading at work, where there are no adblockers. But I’ve never clicked on an ad, except maybe once or twice by accident. How does the advertiser profit when I don’t interact with the ad except to briefly glance at it while reading the actual content of the page? At the end of the day, what is the difference for, say, the Marriott chain whether I look at their ad and then ignore it or just never see it at all? Either way I am never going to “book my perfect hotel in a great location” with them.
It depends on how the ad contract works, but some online ads work on impressions (so views) and others work on clicks. Basically, you glancing at that Marriott ad is probably equally effective to you glancing at one in a magazine or newspaper or on a highway billboard, where clickthroughs are not possible. So part of the benefit to Marriott is that in the future when you DO want to stay in a hotel, you remember that Marriott is a kind of hotel.
But then I also remember that it’s 2015 and Airbnb is also a thing!
I had been wondering about this too, so thanks!
(I also finally figured out how to whitelist the Toast! Yay!)
I know nothing. But my habits are the same (never click on ads) and I assumed I was thereby failing to support The Hyphen Toast. So I set up a small recurring monthly payment. And blocked all ads because of crashes.
Apparently the idea is not so much that people click on ads (I believe the stat is that about 2% do), but just to increase name recognition through sheer repetition/exposure.
Does that work if my immediate response to seeing a brandname is ‘UGH that is that terrible brand that keeps crashing my favourite website, making it impossible for me to read it discreetly, and gives me migraines with its constant flashing’??
As far as I understand it, ads often pay sites based on views. So even though you will never book your perfect Marriott getaway, and you know that, the advertiser doesn’t know it, and thinks, “Yes, eyeballs on our ad! Here, Toast, have some money.”
I’m waiting most impatiently for the site redesign. I would be so happy to see any number of ads if it helped support the Toast! But I just can’t read this site + ads without my browser crashing and my entire computer freaking out.
Out of curiosity, how much $ per adblock viewer do you lose? I’ve been donating $5/month and sort of assumed that covered my ad blocking. Is that too little? Just wondering!
I haven’t had trouble with ads (maybe because I don’t have Flash?) and barely any trouble with intensedebate, but I would love to be a subscriber and avoid all ads. I’m thinking of donating $10 per month regardless (and happily!). So I’m also wondering what a reasonable amount would be.
Everyone knows the best chips in the universe are Dressed All Over and Zesty Mordant…good to see the US getting access to more Canadian goodness all the time…
Wtaf is a “zesty mordant”? (ETA: Oh, I see Google explains all!)
It’s one of those cases where Canadians (anglophones at least) often read the English and French as one word. Ricky does it with Zesty Mordant on the Trailer Park Boys and it’s adorable.
I cannot WAIT for the new redesign, and my excitement is approximately 90% hopeful-that-I-won’t-have-to-use-ad-blockers-just-to-read-the-site-now, and 10% design nerd, THAT’S how important good ad protocol is to me.
Nicole, do you get ad revenue from click-through and/or purchases? Like the next time I’m looking to buy some new glasses should I just browse Clearly Contacts until the ads start showing up on The Toast and then click the cutest glasses? And possibly buy them from there?
Would like to know this also!
Here is a comment because I can’t wait for an open thread, and I need your solidarity, Toasties:
We were visiting my betrothed’s parent-types this weekend, and my future step father-in-law (many conditions on my relationship with this man) at one point gleefully told me that he “just can’t get into books by women” and he’s never read one, and that the “voice” and the “plot-points” are all wrong and I just about literally EXPLODED, except I did not. I kind of freaked out for a bit, but tried to stay calm, and then at one point said “yes, Brad, but the thing is that I have been forced to read books by men MY WHOLE LIFE” and he said, I’m not kidding “sucks to be you”.
RAGE AND FLAMES. I was quivering. My betrothed did not witness this interaction, but later when I told him made noises sympathetically and held me and whispered that soon we would escape, all good things.
Later his mother gave me a rather nice diamond ring for my wedding ring, BUYING MY SILENCE, I SUPPOSE, which it appears can be bought. They also were quietly dismayed when I expressed that I did not plan on changing my name, because why on earth would I?
OMG. Kudos for self-control. You’re stronger than I am. What matters most, IMO, is your betrothed’s responses. Gather evidence that he will not only have your back in these (unfortunately recurring) instances of misogyny, but will actively support you. OMG. Rubbing my face in second-hand frustration for you.
Oh yes, my betrothed is a good ally. He would likely not encourage me to get in a fight with his parents, nor would he likely engage in one himself, but he would definitely support me if I did get in one, both in the moment and after the fact.
Also, later on said Brad went on and on about how he read Silent Spring, which maybe doesn’t count as a book by a woman?
Thank you for the sympathy! I kept thinking I WANT TO TALK TO TOASTIES ABOUT THIS HORROR.
how in the world does Silent Spring not count as a book by a woman??? What???
It’s not about emotions. It contains science. Therefore it MUST be by a man. I bet he never even looked at the author’s name and probably would be astonished that it was by a women.
UGH I DISLIKE HIM INTENSELY.
Wait, if he’s never read a book by a woman, how can he know that all books by women are bad???? SO CONFUSED.
Why, yes, it does suck to have to read books by men! How very astute of him!
On the plus side, “Sucks to be you!” is now on the table for every time you hear *him* complain about *anything*, for the rest of y’all’s lives.
Yeeeeessss. And since betrothed is a good ally on this, consider pre-planning other terse non-answers, topic-changers or games you can play where the two of you just silently count the misogyny whenever you’re around this one. Sometimes I can get through nonsense-talkers when I know I’m not planning to engage them on the merits, just Shut It Down and then mock them later.
I am quickly learning this very good lesson with him. He talks nonsense. Who cares? He’s a dude in early retirement who gets bossed around by his wife all the time. Who cares what he thinks?
I also noticed this trip that he is INCREDIBLY passive aggressive, which leads me to believe that he is 1) angry all the time and 2) not able to express it, which is really very sad.
No one. No one cares what he thinks, and he knows, and since people have at least pretended to care what he thinks for most of his life, he doesn’t know what to do with it.
Which is indeed very sad, but also no reason for anyone to put up with his rubbish.
I think I love you.
Oh please do this and report back. I am maybe thinking of the joy the idea of this will bring me and not of your long-term domestic bliss, but I REALLY want to hear what he says when you bust that out on him.
As a lady bookseller, dudes pulled this on me all the time. It really is fishing for a response, I worked out, and eventually I was able to just be like, sure, how about A.S. Byatt or Curtis Sittenfield?
Can I interest you in some George Sand?
I once got one dude to believe Jean Rhys was a man. Sorry, Jean.
Like science fiction? How about some James Tiptree Jr or Andre Norton?
IT’S GONNA BE OKAY just smugly wear that diamond right in their faces on your hand that still has your original last name same as the rest of you.
wooooooow
I used something called Disconnect.me, which purports to block malware and things that track you online- I still see ads, but I don’t know if I’m blocking websites I visit from getting advertising revenue. Hmmm. Anyone know? I can’t really tell from their site.
I used something called Disconnect.me, which purports to block malware and things that track you online- I still see ads, but I don't know if I'm blocking websites I visit from getting advertising revenue. Hmmm. Anyone know? I can't really tell from their site.
As reality sets in and property values start to decline, these home owners are now struggling to pay off their financial obligations, forcing the bank to take over the mortgage on their home. Because of this, home buyers and investors see it as a great time to buy real estate in Toronto.
As reality sets in and property values start to decline, these home owners are now struggling to pay off their financial obligations, forcing the bank to take over the mortgage on their home. Because of this, home buyers and investors see it as a great time to buy real estate in Toronto.