the dance begins
rend your hair
shed your tears
stamp your angry chicken feet
ah, sisters
are you happy?
yes, dreadfully happy
then we’re all happy
slower, my friends
we can dance slower than this
I will stop when you stop
ah, old friend
but I will never stop
then we shall circle each other rhythmically
until one or both of us drops
to the dance
to the dance
he must never know
he must never find out how much I hate to twirl
ah, this is the hardest step of them all to master, when we turn into monsters and drown
this one is my favorite
where we hold hands and scowl at nothing
first lesson starts now: dance with contempt
if you dance slowly enough it turns into sitting down
[Images via]
first lesson starts now: dance with contempt
Second lesson: accompany with boredom; observe with derision; clap along with suppressed mockery.
tambourine optional
The tambourine is never optional. Its misery is eternal.
if you dance slowly enough it turns into sitting down
aka my preferred style of dancing
As a congenital non-dancer,* I wish to co-sign all of these. Turning into a monster and drowning IS the fun part.
*As in, my choreography was always “sit in the corner and clap along with the music”.
Finally. My relationship with dance has been summed up. (Says the woman who was kicked out of ballet class for punching another student Lilo and Stitch style.) Dancing with contempt is the only form I know.
The way you phrased that suggests you were an adult at the time. A+ dancing style.
I may have had the body and mind of a five year old, but I had the heart and soul of a pissed off near thirty year old.
Dance with Contempt – added to the ToastQuotes home decor line.
Someone needs to make this happen already.
What’s up, chicken butt?
“Dance with contempt”–also applicable to the tango if one actually is a dancer. And maybe the paso doble as well.
Somebody tell me who the lady who hates to twirl is. I’m pretty sure that painting was in a kids’ book about ballet that I had when I was little (dancing is a chronic, lifelong condition).
Marie Camargo — I had the same thought. ‘Hmm, looks too late and flowery and un-ethereal to be Taglioni’
‘”Dance with contempt”–also applicable to the tango if one actually is a dancer. ‘
So that’s what’s wrong. I couldn’t tell why the teacher seemed to be so annoyed with my smiling. Thanks for clearing that up.
“Somebody tell me who the lady who hates to twirl is.”
I don’t know who she is, but I would love to twirl in that dress; I can only assume her partner is being jerkish (literally or figuratively; those dudes who think they’re better than they actually are at leading are way too effective at dislocating one’s shoulder) and/or those embellishments weigh 80 pounds, like Charlize Theron’s wedding dress from Snow White and the Huntsman.
Seems pretty clear that dancing starts with misery and ends in being a chicken/fish so I’ll be by the snack table thanks.
“all of this miserable reminded me that I have to sit in the corner and give myself a breast exam”
Dancing with contempt sounds like what happens when my toddler is not going to be the first one to fall during “Ring Around the Rosy.”
if you dance slowly enough it turns into sitting down
today I learned I have, in fact, been dancing for most of my life
#3 looks like the interpretive dance scene from She’s All That.
hack
ey
sack
This made my day, and it’s 11:59 p.m. and it was already a good day.
I weirdly love #2, despite or maybe because of the “I am so not into this” expressions on the faces of the women looking toward the viewer.
Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” could be blaring in the background of any of these.
yes, yes i will nod and dance although my heart is dead
this is actually my Saturday nights.
I’ve never been clear on whether they’re dancing or melting, but it seems appropriate here. (ETA – Gotta love Jan Toroop and his creepy version of Art Nouveau)
Whatever they’re doing, the nuns are very cross about it.
am i correct in that the bells are hanging from the nails used to crucify jesus and that the female spirits are forming from the sound of their joyous ringing, pouring forth to praise and worship the maiden/mother/crone? because: i need this.
You know, I have no idea, but it seems as plausible as any interpretation.
All I could find out from my friend the internet is that it’s called “The Three Brides” and is based on a literary subject. http://www.the-art-world.com/history/toorop.htm
It’s more of a philosophical subject; they’re supposed to be representations of femininity. The left bride is the ‘spiritual’ chaste one (big, innocent puppy eyes); the one on the right is the ‘demonic’ sensual one (evil baroness eyes); the one in the middle is I assume a kind of balance between the two, she’s THE bride ready for marriage.
So there’s a kind of madonna/whore thing going on–unsurprisingly, because that idea originated (or at least acquired its current form) in the late 19th century.
Those women at the side are appropriated from Javanese puppet theatre–Indonesia was a Dutch colony at the time.
#1: this must be where all the chicks hang out, YEEAAAAHHHH
(is torn apart by a murder of enraged hentaurs)
A+ for “hentaurs”
Why do all the harpies in #1 have copypasted breasts? THEY ARE IDENTICAL.
I very much wasn’t expecting what I saw when I scrolled down to see the bottom half of the chicken ladies.
Absolutely.
I was reading like “Chicken feet? You can’t dance with chicken feet. She’s got to be kid —
oh.”
I cannot tell if the fish in the water dancing picture are horrified by the lame skills being displayed and trying to get away from the women or if they are an audience egging them on to greater glory.
I do like the chicken feet women, you could do some serious damage to somebody with them if they copped a feel during a sanctioned dance with male humans with those feet.
Dear Starbucks. Please look closely at the bird women in #1. Those are sirens. That is what a siren looks like. That’s what they look like in the sculpture of Orpheus at the Getty. That’s more or less what they look like in many, many depictions of the scene from the Odyssey. The Greek word “siren” refers to birds when it doesn’t refer to mythological creatures or women someone doesn’t like. Sirens are only mermaids if you believe 18th century sources over, you know, people who actually speak the language. End rant.
The first one: Aaaah, hagravens are real! Where’s my axe??
…ok, I may have been playing too much Skyrim lately.
The way they BREATHE tho
The first one: Aaaah, hagravens are real! Where's my axe??
…ok, I may have been playing too much Skyrim lately.