Toasties! Halva and amaretto go so well together that I almost forgot to take a picture! What are some of your favorite holiday pairings? Is it too early to talk about gifts? Holiday dread? Vacation? Weather? Office romances?
Tell the bartender your all!
Tags: cocktail hour, meta, open thread, the bartender
I just keep hurting myself today. My chair tipped me over into the bookcase, where I hit my head and hurt my hip and my wrist, then I just kept knocking all my awkward bits against things. Someone please wrap me in bubblewrap and put me to bed.
GIFTS! We didn’t do them last year, which made me sad, so we are this year. I know what I’m getting from Jos cause I saw it in a shop and pointed, and I’ve got him some nice whisky and my dad wants a scarf and my mum wants shower stuff for swimming so that’s easy.
I melted part of the sleeve of my brand-new dressing gown while pouring tea out of a hot kettle! That’s what I get for not springing for 100% silk.
I seem to have become a Wodehouse character.
But it’s OK, I would be really sad if I did that.
Oh no! You are so lucky you didn’t get burned. I’ve done that, and steam burns are the worst.
“I’ll have an afternoon holiday party,” I said. “It’ll be low-key! It’ll be fun,” I said.
There are 25 adults and 15 children coming to my house tomorrow. I am an idiot.
It may be time to fake your death
Remember that you always have the option of taking to the sea.
We might not make it depending on how the forecast looks. That’s a long-ass bus ride back in the snow. So that’s 23 adults? :D:
I recommend Stop’n’Go cookies, distributed late to the children.
FIFTEEN? Thinking of you when I like my St. Jude tonight. You’ll be okay. Parties! They’re fun! 😐
YA’LL. My 6-month-old daughter is showing great promise as a future Noted Misandrist. She will not abide being held by any man other than her father.
She’ll be a High Priestess of the Toast when the culling comes.
The scorn is strong with this one.
“When the culling comes”
I like the sound of that: the idea of it and it’s melody. Your daughter sounds wonderful. Kiss her forehead for me, please.
I made a lovely spinach & ricotta cannelloni (manicotti) for dinner the other night, and all three Bergy Bits turned up their noses at it and ended up eating cheese & crackers for dinner. SIGH.
(We don’t really “do” Christmas so it’ll just be a day off from work with Mr. Iceberg & the Bergy Bits.)
In happier news, the Boy is potty trained! Three out of three! and they turn 3 next month, so glad he got in under the wire!
Woot! Congrats, Boy child!
he sits down to pee #matriarchy
I am [really way super ahahaha] far from having offspring, but if I ever do my secret desire, that I keep nestled close to my heart, is to just…skip Christmas. Just never have it be a thing. You give me such hope, Bergy!
it helps if you have a determinedly non-Christian husband and no immediate family on the same continent and your kids are too young to know what Christmas even is.
[Takes notes; updates OKCupid profile]
have you thought about how you will handle it when their classmates are all about SANTA and FURBIES and MOUNTAINS OF BEANIE BABIES (okay I might not be up on the Toys These Days). I am also very far from procreating, but I feel like its never too soon to start plotting how to quash all consumerist and christian impulses in my brood.
Mom of an almost-11 year-old here. You handle it by telling your kid upfront that Santa won’t be bringing any of those lame-ass trendy toys. And then Santa brings awesome things like iPads and Broadway tickets and BOOKS. SO MANY BOOKS.
I didn’t have Christmas growing up because my dad isn’t Christian and my mom is a kinda-sorta agnostic Muslim from Turkey. New Years though. That was more exciting in my household.
Bergie, you are a hope to us all, really.
Please never stop telling us stories about the bits etc.
I would not eat Lasagna until I was basically in high school. Something about lots of foods mixed together into one thing. But how did I not like lasagna!?
Clearly, their cannelloni refusal* is a win, resulting as it does in more delicious cannelloni for lunches and next-day dinner and eating cold out of the fridge at midnight.
*dibs on the band name Their Cannelloni Refusal.
“Manicotti” though? how bout LADYCOTTI
also Mr. Iceberg & the Bergy Bits is a great band name.
DC Toastie Book Club update! I’ve not gotten responses from everyone yet, but it’s shaping up as such: first meeting will be the afternoon of Saturday February 8. First book is likely to be either The Luminaries or The Goldfinch. Meeting place to be Teaism or Busboys and Poets (still open to suggestions though). E-mail me if you’d like to get updates/vote on the book – [email protected]. Will post again once all details have been finalized!
I just finished reading “Hild,” and, you guys. I was out of control. I barely spoke to another human outside of work. I walked around in that semi-stoned I’ve-been-reading-so-hard-I-can-no-longer-separate-reality-from-fiction haze. I’m taking a breather and then I’m reading it again, but I honestly cannot tell whether it was actually very good or if I just love it.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I have it on my shelf right now but don’t really have time to read it–but we’re supposed to get snow in the morning, so maybe I’ll just hide in bed and devour it whole. Yes? Yes.
YES DO IT NO REGRETS
That is exactly the kind of book description that makes me put a library hold on a book immediately. Thank you very much!
I’m supposed to go to a cookie party tomorrow, for which I am making Biscoff Cookie Butter Fudge, which is so delicious and easy that it feels like cheating. However! The weather forecast for tomorrow is “you will get anywhere from 1 to 12 inches of snow” so I may just stay home and eat fudge and drink bourbon.
Has anyone else found it impossible to break the habit of double spacing after a period? I didn’t even know we weren’t supposed to be doing that anymore until very recently and I just can’t seem to stop.
Also, apparently I was supposed to be shaving my arms this whole time? An informal poll amongst friends put me in the minority of not shaving my arms. I barely even shave above the knee these days, unless we’re talking about my ladystache.
NO do not shave your arms girl.
I know one (1) woman who shaves her arms. It seems…prickly (I am exceptionally werewolf-y, so maybe not everyone has the same stubble issues)? It seems…not worth it.
PS, is a ladystache a moustache on a lady, or is it a semi-terrifying euphemism for your pubic hair? “Yes, my ladystache, it’s above my OTHER LIPS.”
I enjoy novelty shapes trimmed into my pubic hair. I am seriously considering a handlebar moustache for childbirth next May. I think it will lend a certain level of whimsy to the proceedings…
I just hit “thumbs up” so hard that the little “you’ve already voted on this” window came up.
It would be the delightful black hair that grows above my upper lip that is resistant to bleaching or depilating or waxing, and also I’m too lazy to actually go have it sugared or sanded or whatever the cool kids are doing these days. Also I’m pale as a ghost but also have very faint freckles above my upper lip that make it look like I have a ‘stache even after I’ve shaved it.
I’ve become real keen on threading? Although if the other kinds don’t get the hair off I don’t know if that’ll work either. It lasts longer than waxing and less zits.
Those freckles have recently made their appearance on my upper lip, so mostly I forget I have them until I look in the mirror. My solution thus far has been to ignore it.
It is really hard to change a typing habit that was a) drilled in thoroughly, and b) you have been doing for more than 20 years. I try. Usually it doesn’t matter when I’m typing, because little of what I type is for print, but in any case… Maybe there should be a special font for people older than 20, that corrects for this??
Also, no one shaves their arms, except possibly swimmers or something. Seriously? I mean, I hardly ever shave anything apart from my luxurious goatee, but arms??? I have heard occasional rumors of very insecure girls, or very hairy dark-haired fair-skinned girls, waxing their arms. But who in the world would want arm stubble?? Go forth and shave whatever you like, but you are in no way failing in being ladylike by keeping your arm hair.
If you wish, you could set up auto-correct to always replace a period and 2 spaces with a period and 1 space. I know job hunters over 40 are well-advised to avoid the double-space to keep their age hidden long enough to snag an interview, during which dazzling personal presentation can dispel ageist assumptions.
1. I hate double spacing, good for you.
2. WHAT
I also do not shave my arms, nor do I feel the need to do it, even though my arms are rather hairy.
Arm shaving is a common thing now? I GIVE UP.
And I refuse to give up my spacebar double-tap. It’s not just a habit, it’s a part of my dna at this point.
I never used to double-space after a period, and now I do lots of legal typing where that’s still the style because legal styles change roughly forty years after every other style, and now it’s creeping into the rest of my life.
Same here. I had never even heard of the convention before starting my job, and now all of a sudden I’m putting two spaces after a period in text messages.
I have REFUSED to conform to this so called legal style. I have never had anyone notice either – even for documents in upper levels of court. I’m in Canada though so things might be different wherever you are!
Given the documents that I see that have been filed by other firms, and given that most of our attorneys single-space, I’m pretty sure I’d be fine skipping it, except that my boss has been doing legal word processing since before I was born and she would absolutely notice (but not in a mean way, just in a has clearly defined and communicated standards way, which I actually completely love).
Y’all have your extra u’s, we have our extra spaces. Everyone has their quirks.
I am a lawyer, and I absolutely refuse to put two spaces after a period. This has actually gotten me into serious trouble with partners and senior associates. Like I get called into people’s offices and lectured about it. I still refuse. What am I, if my principles are so easily abandoned?
And now I just got a request from one of our attorneys to make sure this document only has single spaces after the period. Inconsistency is the spice of life, I suppose (that’s how it goes, right?)
BISCOFF COOKIE BUTTER FUDGE????
Word. It is literally cookie butter, actual butter, vanilla, and confectioners sugar melted together in the microwave. Here’s a recipe.
(Disclaimer: not my recipe.)
Yessss! I will have 24 hours of happy anticipation that a TOASTIE bearing FUDGE may come to the cookie party I am hosting tomorrow night! Nota bene–I do not know all the people coming to my party because some are my husband’s med school colleagues. I’m sure there are hundreds of cookie parties happening tomorrow night, but it would be great of m98widow showed up at mine!
Aw, the host of my party is not married so it’s not you… but you can throw some fudge in the microwave and enjoy your own!
Or, you could buy the cookie butter and eat it from the jar. No shame.
I know there are people who shave their arms for a variety of reasons, and unless they tell you, you can’t know what those reasons are, and I’m not going to make judgements about what others want to do with their body hair.
(As a purely statistical matter, I will admit to being frankly astonished that the majority of women you know shave their arms. Arms? Not armpits? You’re sure?)
But if it never even occurred to you before, why on earth would you start now? It seems like a lot of upkeep to alter something that never bothered you.
And there we have my beauty philosophy summed up: why on earth would I bother with that? However uninspiring that sounds, if you could see me in person, it would be a whole lot more so.
Ha ha yeah, I wasn’t actually going to do it even if the consensus was that arm-shaving was de rigeur. If my friends like to/want to do it, of course I’m fine with it. I was just shocked that there was this whole world that I wasn’t even aware of – like if I suddenly found out that everyone was wearing watches around their ankles this whole time.
like if I suddenly found out that everyone was wearing watches around their ankles this whole time.
That’s how I felt when I realized that many of my female friends actually get regular professional manicures and pedicures. I thought that habit was purely a TV fiction.
I can’t imagine having the time, money, or social energy to sit there getting my hands and toes handled every three weeks. I’m still a little in shock from the realization that they do. (And these are not high-powered high-fashion Manhattanites. I LIVE IN MAINE. Where are these friends going that requires such attention to their toes?)
At least getting manicures and pedicures is fun/relaxing (imho), and not painful or stubbly like waxing or shaving one’s arms.
It would take years of habituation before someone professionally handling my feet could possibly feel relaxing. So intimate!
But I can just barely bother myself with a haircut every few weeks, so I’m an outlier in beauty ritual/relaxation stuff.
I’m on a 3-6 month haircut schedule, personally. I do not have the patience to sit through a haircut more frequently than that. It’s sooooo boring. I can’t even fathom getting it colored- sitting still for long enough for people to put chemicals on my head, and then having to do it regularly- no thanks.
NOTE RE: ARM SHAVING
The only time I’ve ever heard of arm hair removal was from my Indian physician.
My Mother was asking her (at *my* physical) if my arm hair was abnormal (yaaayyy Greek genes!) and if I had a problem. And my doctor looked at my arms and said, “Oh no. I wax my arms, and I have much more hair than that.”
My Mom and I looked at her to make sure we heard right. “wait…waxing your arms?”
“Oh yes, *whsst, whsst*,” she mimicked pulling the wax strips of her beautifully smooth arms. “It’s cruel that Indians live in the hottest climate, but we some of the hairiest people.”
And with that cheery, matter-of-fact statement, she went on to continue my checkup. And I never thought about removing my arm hair again!
(note: this was not a woman denying her culture, though, she was doing my checkup in a bright green and red, full salwar kameez. Yeah, she’s kind of awesome.)
I am just starting to break the double-spacing habit, and even then it’s not consistent. (Helping me break this habit: faulty spacebar on my work computer that has to be thumped hard each time it’s used. Good for making you not want to use it any more than necessary.)
Don’t shave your arms. Two words: arm stubble.
I don’t know a lot of women who shave their arms. Just my fiancee, I think. Who has the time?
I nair my arms, for many reasons. (fair complexion plus very long, very dark arm hair – disliking it is just a little neuroticism that I can eliminate by nairing every few weeks, so it’s worth it for me). Using nair takes care of the prickly stubble issue. I guess to each their own! I am I think the only person I know who does it.
I seem to be in a minority here, but I’ve been shaving my arms for years. Just below the elbow to the wrist. I like the way it feels, that’s all. It’s not for anyone else, but I just don’t like my pale arms with that dark hair on them. Darker than my leg hair.
I know zero people who shave their arms. ZERO. Mine are so insanely hairy and it’s never occurred to me that I should change that.
I’m transitioning from double to single spaced, but it HARD. Then again, I’ve been a two-spacer since junior high, back when we learned on actual typewriters and had to learn how to center text using math skillz. The class period after keyboarding was computer programming, so it was quite the experience. 25+ years of habit to break.
Relevant to my interests! The APA style guide (6th ed) still recommends that we “space twice after punctuation marks at the end of a sentence” (p. 88). That includes after a period, right? I was worrying just this week that I had gotten OUT of the habit of spacing twice and was trying to get back into it? Now I don’t know what to do.
Also, another vote for Not shaving your arms. Or your legs for that matter.
Shaving arms? What nonsense is this? No. Never done it, also checked with 20something daughter and she laughed and laughed. WHO does THAT? She said. So no, you don’t have to shave your arms.
My office mate has her arms waxed, but she is very blond except for the hair on her arms which is so long and dark it curls. In fact, left unattended, the arm hair is so whatever that it gives her the appearance of a knuckle dragger (she says). The waxing makes her less self-conscience. I have never seen her in her natural state. I have only ever seen her in captivity, but it does seem excessive to me.
It’s Friday?
Friday the 13th!!!
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today it is Friday, Friday. We we so excited.
I’m in finals mode, which means the days have all just…melted together. But Friday, excitement, yay.
Same, but it’s almost over – hang in there!
thanks you too!
Is Feel the Burn coming back? I miss it terribly.
Me too! I was just thinking about it this morning, when I was being all proud of myself for dragging my ass out of bed at 5am to go to the gym before work. Do you see what you’ve done, Nicole?? DO YOU? You inspired me with your stupid workout posts and I’m turning into the sort of person who (occasionally) gets up hours before dawn to exercise.
I was just wondering this yesterday when thinking about how much I didn’t want to exercise. I need accountability!
My comment disappeared!! Yes, you have one next week, and then VIDS in the New Year, including the one where I tangle myself irretrievably in a pull-up band and have to be rescued.
Fantastic. Thanks, Nicole!
I think I’d be much happier about workout videos if the people in them had little misadventures like I do.
“Oop, I dropped my hairband. I’ll just get it from behind the machine. And somehow that resulted in me being stuck, one foot in the air, giant metal thing in my gut. OK, I’ll just edge out – oh, and I fell down. Great. Good.”
My grandma died this week, which is sad in and of itself, but it means that next week I have to spend time with some very un-enjoyable relatives. I don’t think I’m really grieving yet because I’m dreading the whole “group grieving” process. I’m a very private person, and would prefer to drink alone while looking through photo albums or watching her favorite movies.
In other news, I need to buy Christmas gifts for my mom and mother-in-law. Any good ideas? I usually buy my mom scented lotions or fancy bath soaps, but I’m kind of looking to break out of that mold.
Sorry about your grandma, and your un-enjoyable mourning rituals.
My mom likes funny socks and necklaces. Does yours?
Funny socks is a GREAT suggestion!
If by some random chance you live in Seattle, Sock Monster in Wallingford is an awesome place to find funny socks. Also, their logo is adorable.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I encourage watching favorite movies. <33
so sorry for your loss, saying goodbye is tough.
i got my mom a pretty hand-made porcelain bowl, and my mother-in-law a fancy kitchen timer from william sonoma, along with nice sea salt and herbes de province. my mom is easy, she likes pretty things, but my m-i-l is more practical.
I’m so sorry. Being alone and watching her favorite movies sounds like a sweet and meaningful way to grieve your grandmother. Take good care of you.
Sorry about your grandma. Best of luck getting through the group grieving.
For moms – family photos in nice frames? Or maybe a photobook from one of those online photo sites?
I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel ya on the group grieving; it can feel like extra pressure when you need it least.
As for gifts, would any of them like fancy flowering tea? You brew these little balls of tea in the clear pot and they bloom into different cool designs. http://www.amazon.com/Numi-Organic-Flowering-Hand…
I’m so sorry about your grandma. I hope the time with the relatives goes as smoothly as possible. As for mom gifts, I know buying clothes for other people is often hard, but what about accessories? I buy my mom scarves, belts, fun jewelry…
Hello Toasties! I am about to listen to the new Surprise Beyonce and I don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared!
Also I have NO IDEA what to get my boyfriend’s dad for Christmas! (I’m spending Christmas with his family as scheduling didn’t allow me to fly back to the US this year.) He is a very taciturn Swiss retiree. Nobody knows what he likes. What do you give people like that? Should I make cookies and hope it’s adorable enough?
Consumables are best for taciturn people who don’t seem to like anything. Cookies, alcohol, tea, muffin-of-the-month club, something.
Augh, GIRL, I wish you luck getting through that album without feeling ALL the feels. Daaaang. It’s the third album I’ve ever bought in my life, and I’ve listened to it 4 times already, and whoa. Just whoa.
PS – make your boyfriend’s dad elegant dark chocolate macarons. Let me know if you need a recipe.
Oh yes I DEFINITELY want an elegant dark chocolate macarons recipe! Do you mind sharing??
Cookies are always adorable, but, alternatively, booze? If he hates it, you can steal it back and drink the awkward away.
Last year I gave my boyfriend’s dad an ornament. Although it was a corgi ornament.
Shall I stereotype the Swiss and suggest a nice cheese?
CORGI ORNAMENT?!? There are corgi ornaments? Where did you get that? I need to get me one of those, stat.
I got my aunt’s weird boyfriend who hates everything a tea sampler set — it was fancy looking with like 12 teas in itty bitty containers, with specific instructions for each kind and a few sentences about the blend or whatever. He apparently LOVED it and raved about it for months afterward.
If he’s not into tea, maybe a sampler set of something else, like coffees or bourbons or cheeses?
Man, I am essentially getting no more work done today. Thanks, Beyonce.
No seriously, thank you, Beyonce, from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks all! Ja, I think consumables are the way to go. Homemade, probably, because his sons are already getting him boozes and the Swiss don’t seem to do the cheese-as-gifts thing.
STILL NOT READY FOR BEYONCE.
LED headlamp? For some reason they seem to hold a strong appeal to practical men of a certain age.
My dad legit asked for a headlamp for Christmas.
I GOT MY BROTHER A WORKING OCARINA THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE THE OCARINA FROM OCARINA OF TIME AND I’M SO EXCITED IT COMES WITH A BOOK OF SONGS FROM THE GAME
Holy shit Mallory if it ever comes up I would love to see content for gamers on the site. Skyrim for example is really designed for folks gifted in the graveyard humor area.
Skyrim is my favorite (/only, other than Civ V and Marvel Puzzle Quest) video game. I had a character named Nina Flowers until issues with European/American registration meant I had to restart and now I have Latrice Royale.
I have written content for gamers on this site! I write about Zelda ALL THE TIME
Okay, fair; I skipped over these because Ocarina of Time was jacked up on my illegally modded first-gen Xbox and I never got around to playing.
Have you played Link Between Worlds? Zelda/Hilda Y/N?
AHHHHH OMG I bought Skyrim over black friday and it is basically my new life now. So addicting and so amazing. It’s like what I hoped a grown up Ocarina of Time would be like.
what I love about Skyrim other than that it’s great and you can have a female character with no big thing and the cool armor I have is that it never ends so I can come back to it over and over and keep doing new(ish) things.
I like how Skyrim has completely ruined my normal video game character alignment – my characters are usually super helpful and nice because I feel too guilty otherwise.
But since the quests stay in my quest list until I complete them, I find myself doing things like luring a mercenary to an altar so that a daedric prince can murder them simply to remove the quest from my to do list.
I’m so not a completest, so if I realize I don’t like a quest, I’m fine with abandoning it. Like, the Markarth cannibal stuff? Screw that, that city is weird, I’m going somewhere else and killing some draugr.
That city IS weird, and it takes way too long to walk anywhere in it. To hell with Markarth!
I mean, the architecture is neat, don’t get me wrong, but for the most part it’s just too much trouble.
Oh, SCREW Markarth. The game bugged so that I never got the chance to buy my house or become Thane for the longest time. Finally I gave it to the Stormcloaks just to reset the jarl, but was it worth the energy? No. Plus I get tired of taking the stairs everywhere so I frequently end up jumping to my death there. AND I BOUGHT THE DOG THERE AND IT DIED AND I FELT SO BAD BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT IT WAS RAISED ON HUMAN FLESH.
I own the Markarth house and I walk out of my door and just fling myself off of the ledge to get down to the city proper instead of taking the stairs. It’s worth the minor healing spell you need to do after you hit the ground.
I have decided the same thing. No Daedric artifacts that require the murder of innocents. Adalia the Redguard is the freakin’ Dovahkiin and a member of the Imperial legion, not a murderer!
I also skipped the whole Dark Brotherhood questline. (Well, actually, I haven’t ever activated it, because who sleeps?) The only Assassins’ Guilds I like are the ones that include Lord Vetinari.
Totally. Latrice Royale may be an opportunist and a bit of a mercenary – you don’t get the nice house on the lake and full set of Stahlrim armor without making sure you loot the fuck out of everything in sight – but she’s the leader of the Companions, she has honor!
I haven’t done that one either because Latrice Royale is not all that sneaky and also she’s a werewolf so sleeping does nothing anyway.
If your honor runs to slaughtering the dishonorable–hey, to each their own!–you can actually wipe out the Dark Brotherhood instead of joining them after activating the questline. There’s still no way out of that gross initial quest but through it, though.
Honestly I miss character alignment a little–I love playing very specific characters who experience worlds quite differently (Dragon Age had great replay value for me in this respect). Skyrim encourages a character to travel ALL the roads in one playthrough, leaving none untaken (with the exception of choosing sides in the war, I guess). Otherwise, the main quest drops the mages and thieves guilds right in your lap, regardless of your character’s personal feelings about wizards and roguery, and quite frequently the only solution to a puzzle is “kill everyone in this cave” despite my high-level persuasive skills.
Which is not to say I do not love this beautifully rendered and epic and engulfing game. I do, oh man.
I’ve ignored the thieves guild quest until now because I find sneaking boring compared to just going in there and hitting things with an axe, but maybe now that I’m really good at hitting things with an axe I can try it.
I’m pretty sure you can choose to go non-stealthy and just bludgeon your way through a lot of the Thieves Guild quests, as long as you, like Commander Shepard, can bludgeon pretty hard. The leader of the guild gets mad at you for it, but he’s always pissed off anyway. (And he has the same voice actor as Belethor, who I am inexplicably attracted to, so he can yell at me all he wants.)
Yeah, Latrice can bludgeon the hell out of things. She’s good at that.
I found the approval system of Dragon Age to be too stressful. The more I try and get Alistair to like me, the more Morrigan hates me! I give them presents and they get mad!
But then I went to Orzammar and lost all will to complete the game.
This is one thing I think that Dragon Age 2 improved on majorly. You get “rivalry” points instead of disapproval. So you can hang with both your mage and templar friends without fear of one stomping off in a huff. Though you end up with romance stuff like “Uuuuuuhggghh I haate yooooou so why do I want to kiss you?”
Agreed but the downside is that DA2 is stylistically one long Orzammar: takes way too long to walk through unbeautiful cityscapes, background NPCs are beggars and thugs, and the soundtrack is pretty dire.
Yeah, but, Varric! (I am one of those weird folks who loves DA2, even though I recognize its many many flaws.)
Funny, I actually found that I enjoyed Skyrim MORE when I was playing as an evil bastard lady. Bounced off the game twice as a Breton Mage and a Nord Hammertime Lady, but then whipped up an Argonian Assassin woman thief/assassin, and it’s amaaaaazing. I’m roleplaying that she’s arrived in exile from the crime families of the Black Marsh, and now she’s going to establish her own Skyrim Mafia. Taking over the Thieves’ Guild, disrupting the local Skooma traders, infiltrating the Dark Brotherhood and destabilizing the local government. When I finally finish this (very) long term game, she’ll move into that fancy house in Windhelm with her Argonian husband and hatchlings and rub her rich, scaly ass in the face of all those Nord racists. No problems eating human flesh because, hah, she’s not human! Roleplaying!
I wish I could like this twice. I unfortunately started the game with a slick lady lizard thief, and had to abandon her because I built her skills rather ineptly. I played the game this way with a dark elf, though–also pretty good.
Which of the two eligible Argonian bachelors did you marry?
Scouts-Many-Marshes, that dreamboat! Mostly because the other Argonian bro, Derkeethus, apparently likes to leave your house and wander back to his dank mine every day. Deal-breaker!
I just bought it too! My lady orc is deeply in love with Adrienne Avenicci.
I’ve always wanted to play Skyrim, but no console and I use a Mac. It’s not possible, right?
Macs come with Bootcamp! You can use part of your harddrive to install Windows, even on my Macbook. It’s how I keep up with my PC gaming friends- I have played entirely too much Civ III, using it…
I used to dual boot, but have too much other stuff going on for that, right now. Next time I upgrade the Mac, I’ll probably look at turning this laptop into a Win only machine.
you are the best of sisters
Oh my god I need to get that for my brother! (except I don’t want him to turn into the Zelda guy, where like one year you get a gag gift of dish towels with pigs on them or something, and five years later that’s all anyone remembers about you and you’re surrounded by pig-themed housewares) (but he’s planning a Zelda tattoo, so that may be on him)
I went from “owning a couple of octopus necklaces because they look neat” to “multiple octopus housewares and more tentacle gifts threatened” and IT’S PRETTY AWESOME.
Can this thread be about perfect gifts? Because I need to brag. I got my dad a t-shirt with a Firesign Theater quote on it and he is going to FLIP SHIT because it’s the most perfect gift for him — all he wanted this year was light-colored tshirts he could garden in — and Firesign Theater is like, our special in-joke thing that the rest of our family rolls their eyes at. I feel like I won at something.
The Perfect Gift is the Holy Grail of gift giving. You don’t always find it, and rarely receive it. But it’s out there, somewhere, waiting. One must be worthy.
A Down Up! A Down Up!
::Thunder crashes in the background::
Three of my best friends and I are driving 7 hours to Oklahoma after work tonight to visit our other best friend who moved there over the summer. I am downloading the Bey album as we speak for road listening!
Also I got some glasses from Warby Parker to try on in the mail a few days ago and they are all so cute I can’t decide on a pair! So, thanks Toast! I (ugh) forgot to buy a t shirt and now I think it’s too late?
I may or may not be taking photos with Santa and my ladyfriend and our dog tonight. So, I guess I’ve become that person.
I kind of (or actually more than that) want to get Santa pictures with my husband this year. Do it!
The dog makes all of this ok!
That’s what I was hoping. It’s actually to help benefit our local spay and neuter group, so I can justify it thusly. The matching sweaters on us AND the dog, well. I’m not sure those can ever be justified.
In the name of animal charity, all is forgiven.
My dad’s beard is finally hitting peak Santa and I can’t wait to get him an appropriate hat. And then loan him out to the neighbors.
We found out this week my husband (still weird to say husband) is getting laid off as of January 8. Merry Christmas, right? I think we’ll be able to make it work – he’s been trying to transition to full-time writing and maybe this is the kick we need – but still, scary.
Also, I have an ovarian cyst. I think I’m naming it Oliver.
Oooooooooof. <3 <3 <3
Mine was named Herman.
HELP you guys, I started re-reading Middlemarch after the last book club and I CAN’T STOP I’m somewhere in Book Four now.
Since I revived my dissertation this fall with plans to complete, Casaubon’s futile scholarly flailings are so much more painful to read.
For me tonight: 30th Annual Music Box Christmas Show! I’m pretty stoked for caroling with Gay Santa.
But otherwise it’s been a pretty rough two weeks. Turns out the person C. had set up to cover Christmas at the hospital but who wasn’t calling C. back wasn’t calling C. back because she had died. Terrible, terrible, beyond words. So sad for her family and who will cover Christmas, then, if C. wants to see her parents? Not clear. And my cousin’s husband was arrested for sex acts with a 13-year-old, which is something I always imagined I’d have to deal with at some point in some form, but still it feels so unreal in so many ways.
I feel better having shared this. It’s all so bizarre and horrible.
Oh man, that’s awful. Most people I know are looking forward to 2014 coming so we can all wash 2013 away.
AMEN.
Thanks, guys. I’m going to ask Gay Santa for something that will help my cousin move on with her life.
🙁
PREACH. Not sad to see the last of this year.
Hey, I’m so sorry. Grief is really weighty and share whatever you need to do because death is really, really hard. Also family. Family with deep issues. Yeah.
Gay Santa! Chicago! stay warm, neighbor!
Officially depressed. Have been prescribed Zoloft and various vitamins in which I am apparently deficient. (I should have rickets by now, according to my vitamin D levels.)
Would absolutely kill for stories from people who were depressed and managed to actually get better, because all the stories I know are at the far ends of the spectrum, either “I couldn’t get out of bed and need medication forever just to feel remotely normal” or “I just needed to start getting in the sunshine more and everything was peachy.” I’m apparently going to be on meds for six months and both therapist and doctor are very hopeful that it will be like a cast on a broken leg, just a temporary help that gives what’s not working time to heal, and I have NEVER read a story about this happening to anyone else and so I am feeling alone. Help, Toasties.
Never, really? I know so many people who only needed meds for a while! Including me. I think all in all I took them for a couple of years on and off. But eventually, I reached a place where I felt strong enough to try tapering off, and I managed to keep my mood up, even through the first shaky weeks being med free. I haven’t been back since. That was seven years ago.
Vitamins are good. Maybe take some iron and vitamin B while you’re at it (check with your doctor first, of course).
Since I’ve been off meds, therapy has been super helpful for me as well. I learned that my anxiety and depression were mostly caused by long standing un-dealt with issues, which resulted in me just feeling like the worst person on earth most of the time. I’ve had off days since then, but no long term depression.
I know it seems horrible and hopeless, and I wish I could jump through the screen and give you a hug! Or maybe not jump through the screen, that sounds a big scary. It will be ok! Sounds like your therapist and your doctor have good hopes for your recovery, so that’s positive. They may be able to see the bigger picture in a way that’s difficult for you to see right now. That’s the tricky thing about depression, it tells you terrible lies about who you are and what you’re capable of. The meds should help with that until you can start doing it on your own. You are so not alone! And the fact that you’re taking these steps to help yourself are an excellent sign as well. You want to be well, and you will be. Hugs, hugs hugs!
ohhh, me!!! I struggled with intermittent SEVERE depression for years. It would hit me out of nowhere, keep me under for a couple weeks, then I would get out of it with lingering anxiety. I finally caved and went to a great psychiatrist who put me on prozac at first, and then we changed it to celexa because the prozac was making my jaw clench and my tongue all weird. 2 months on celexa now, and I feel really great. I’m able to approach life’s ups and downs in a much more level headed way, my relationships have improved, and my work has improved as well. I was one of those “get sunshine and take vitamins and exercise and meditate” people, but it just wasn’t cutting it – I still used so much energy trying to keep myself from derailing on the reg.
Best of luck! you can do this!!!
I did not get medicated, even though I probably should have. I did basically destroy my entire life over two years by not being able to get out of bed and not being able to kill myself, and then eventually I just went “holy shit I have destroyed my entire life and I’m not going to kill myself! What the fuck am I going to do now?” and then I slowly repaired the damage over the course of a year, where I forced myself to go to work and have a social life and actually eat things that weren’t raw cookie dough and ice cream. And then when my life no longer seemed to be entirely ruined, I was able to start working on a lot of other issues that triggered the depression in the first place. And now I’m okay like 90% of the time with regards to depression, and am working on my anxiety, which is also getting better! So there’s hope?
You are pretty amazing, lady. I’m more or less trying to avoid this path, but I think you’re incredible for successfully navigating it. And yeah, there’s hope. There’s always hope.
Yeah, I highly recommend avoiding this path! It still kind of kills me a little that losing those two years pretty much means that I will never go to grad school, because I basically failed a full year and ended up graduating with a GPA just shy of acceptable when I went back to finish my degree.
I wish you all the luck and strength you need. 🙂 You can totally do this.
As someone currently in grad school who also suffered from depression-related failures in college: if it is something you really want to do, apply. Write in your personal statements WHY that year was so bad (you don’t have to be incredibly specific if there were outside triggers involved), and the universities (unless they are a bag of dicks) will be a LOT more understanding. Life happens. Universities understand that, and if you show that you’ve managed to put your life back together after something like that they’ll be understanding, and view your transcript/GPA with that in mind.
Yo, me too. I have to do some RAMQ paperwork (at least it’s free) before I can get healthcare, but it’s a struggle.
*rickets fistbump* I feel that, yo.
Hey girl. First of all, I’m really glad you got this figured out (I think we’ve discussed it before on the Hairpin, where I comment as I’m Right on Top of That, Rose).
Second of all, I’ve been in the “cast” situation you’re talking about. I first started taking Zoloft when I was in college, when the depression was hitting me pretty hard and I didn’t know what was going on. A psychiatrist put me on the meds, which had an almost-immediate impact on me because I was so relieved to know that I was actually doing something that could help me get out of this god-forsaken hole. I took the pills for about six months, and that, mixed with therapy and getting some personal stuff figured out, helped enough for me to stop taking them.
About six years later, I had to get back on an anti-depressant, but that was for anxiety, and not depression. So I have been through the rodeo of it all. I’d say you’re on the right path with all of this, because you may not need them forever, but you know you need them now. For me, just knowing I was helping myself started the journey from depression-hole to back-to-relative-normal.
I hope this goes well for you. You can holler at me at irototrose at gmail dot com if you wanna. You’re not alone.
That’s really good to hear. I don’t mind the idea of maybe being here again, but I remember being normal. I remember not being sad all the time. I don’t think this is something actually inherent to me, I think it’s something that happened over a lot of exposure to really bad circumstances. I just want to believe it’s reversible, and that if I take drugs it’s reversible faster.
I’m pretty sure I could walk my way out slowly if I could devote all my energy to it, but I have to hold down my job and be functional – I can’t just work on this, I have to DO things, and I don’t feel like I can do things reliably right now.
Yeah, totally understandable. It’s kind of like saying, “Well, I could just sit at home for two weeks and let this flu heal itself, or I could take medicine that might make me feel better.” There’s a social differentiation between the meds we take to help us function physically and those we take to help us function mentally, but that separation doesn’t even make any sense; these pills are going to help your physical brain produce and keep hold of the happy chemicals it needs. You just need a kickstart, you know?
Ugh, EXACTLY. That’s what I’m really hoping for. In retrospect, this has probably been a slowly worsening problem for years, but I’ve been self-medicating with things that create happy chemicals temporarily – sex, carbs, sugar, salt, walks, talking to people. And that’s kept my head above water, but it’s like having a sinus infection that you only treat with hot showers and decongestants and salt rinses. It’ll help, and it’ll keep you more or less functional, but the infection is going to keep festering and getting worse.
It happens so slowly. Have a random crying fit once every two weeks, then once every week, and now it’s every other day. The progression is so slow that you kind of don’t even notice it’s happening.
Yep. It’s that whole frog-in-the-boiling-water analogy. This is actually why I stopped drinking, because the alcohol went from being something I used recreationally to something I was using to cope with anxiety and depression. Retrospectively, I can see it happening, but at the time, I didn’t even realize. It’s good you can have even a little perspective on where you are right now.
And trust me, those things like sugar, carbs, sex and walks? When you pull out of the depression, you’ll enjoy them even more. After I started on the meds, and they took hold in my brain, I realized how much time I’d lost just sort of being numb to everything I used to enjoy.
I had a severe depression/anxiety disorder for several years during HS and college (almost daily panic attacks, inability to go about basic daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed, suicidal ideation, etc.). I was medicated to various degrees for about three years, went off the meds for about six months, realized that I maybe still needed them, went back on for about another year, then decided to go off them again. That was last fall, and I am happy to report that I am as stable as I have ever been in my adult life. There’s still some anxiety, and I feel like that will always be a part of me, but it’s at a point where I can manage and go about things in a way that makes me happy.
What helped me the most was medication & therapy in conjuction with each other–if you can find a way to do this, it’s often more effective than doing either of those things separately. Also, if the Zoloft (or the dosage) they give you isn’t working for you, LET YOUR DOCTOR KNOW. There’ll be an adjustment period during the first month or two where your body and brain are getting used to the medication, but if you’re having issues after that point (physical problems, sexual dysfunction, suicidal thoughts when you hadn’t had them before, etc.), speak up. There are other medications they can try instead to which you might react better.
Good luck! I am rooting for you.
Thanks for the advice on the drug-taking. I’m going to keep seeing my therapist, who’s great, but this is my first try with drugs and I need all the advice I can get. Also really glad to hear that you were able to get on meds for as long as you needed them and taper off – that’s what I really need to believe right now. I’m glad you’re better!
It is great that you’re trying out the Zoloft and vitamin supplementation. It’s not for everyone, but it can be essential for some.
For instance, I’m type II bipolar and will probably need to take medication for the rest of my life. My depressive and hypomanic episodes are clearly endogenous — completely and utterly unrelated to anything external in my life — so perhaps is easier for me to accept the necessity of medication than most. I was very, very, very sick a few years ago, rocketing around from suicidal to panicking to placid to happy to despondent. Some times all in one day, some times over the course of an hour. I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. I was in residential treatment for an eating disorder when the counselors there realized something else was wrong too (“Hey, why is this girl randomly catatonic?”). I was resistant to medication at first and I definitely went through the phase you’re going through. (Note: I am NOT saying you necessarily need it long-term like me, just trying to relate a parallel if it is helpful to you). It’s not wrong to be skeptical but it’s important to leave a little room for hope, too.
I have two sisters with type I diabetes * and they will need insulin for the rest of their lives. That they are dependent on insulin does not mean they they are empty pathetic automotons cramming insulin into their bodies in the elusive hopes of having regulated blood sugars like the rest of us. They lead diverse lives, the choices of which can either serve to augment or worsen their functioning. I’m the same way, Prozac and lithium are nonnegotiable for me, but I also do a shitload of yoga and try to read and laugh and explore and rest a lot so that I can stay as level as possible. All of these things have helped tremendously. I am high-functioning and pretty happy, overall.
People do get better. That it gets better does not invalidate or minimize the suffering that you’re going through right now. But they get better all the time. In my experience, they are also the most compassionate people because they have experienced a range of mental suffering most don’t have access to. I wish you all the best, and please feel free to ask any questions you have if you think I might be of help.
*our gene pool leaves something to be desired.
On second thought I’m not sure if I framed this correctly — there are certainly tons of people who do take medication in the short-term. The majority, actually! The cast analogy is apt. I just wanted to offer the perspective that long-term medication is not necessarily a bad thing — in fact, it can be a good thing and it doesn’t have to be feared. I think the fear of medication becoming a neverending, hellish experience can keep people who need it in the short-term from even giving it a try, so I wanted to offer a little perspective there. I hope this clarifies my comment above, which is a little rambling.
Again, all the best to you.
Oh, yeah, I can see how my fears came off that way. It’s more like the fear of being misdiagnosed, I think? Like, I imagine if someone started telling you that you don’t really need the medication at all and you just need to do these holistic things, you’d be really upset about it, because that’s not what you have. And it’s sort of the other way around for me: I’m pretty certain this is not a permanent state that needs to be permanently corrected, and I’m terrified of that being how it’s treated. And since most of the stories on the internet are about serious, permanent, crippling depression – or at least most of the ones I’ve read – it feels like that’s how I’m going to be treated. So that’s where the fear comes from. If it turns out I do have a permanent problem and I feel convinced of it, then I’ll embrace whatever I need to do to fix that. I’m just feeling like my only two options are “there’s not really a problem” and “the problem is inherent and unfixable.” And I think I’m really somewhere in between, and that’s how I want to be treated.
Ah, I see your point about fear of misdiagnosis. This is a place where the rhetorical parallels between mental health and physical health become less helpful because there aren’t definitive, scientific markers for mental illness. Psychotherapy and even psychiatry are very human systems of treatment, which has a kind of terrible poetry when you’re in the throes of suffering from something amorphous and unnameable.
So because of that lack of definition and “knowing” in the treatment of these disorders, I think it is reasonable to be educated and proactive going in, to self-advocate. Though I’m sure there are some doctors out there that subscribe to a dichotomous “either you are One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest bonkers or you are totally fine” viewpoint, I would gently challenge the presumption that most feel that way. I am definitely more on the “straight up bonkers” side of things and no psychiatrist/therapist has *ever* pushed tons of meds on me or told me I’d be on them forever or said I was incurable. Any good psychiatrist would also be willing to discuss the pros and cons of tapering down, or even tapering off completely, with me too. That is my basic right to self-determination as a patient and as a human. I agree that you sound like you’re in the middle and a good doctor would understand that you’re occupying that middle place — like the majority of people are, it should be pointed out. (To continue the diabetes analogy, it’s not like when my diabetic sister presents in the ER with a blood sugar of 800 that they amputate her foot or something. She’s in need of critical care but certainly not extreme measures).
I recommend maybe writing out some of the concerns you have, though, and bringing them up with your psychiatrist or pdoc. You’re informed and concerned for your own health and it’s well within your rights to have a dialogue about this until you’re satisfied with the course of action.
Oh goodness! It works like that (as a temporary aid) for people, ALL the time! We always hear the horror stories, because they make good stories. Yes, some people have major depression, and it’ll be with them forever (this girl, right here. hiya!), but even that’s not something to get overly upset about. Pretty much everyone is going to go through depression at some point in their life, it’s just what happens. Life changes, ill health, seasonal changes – all sorts of things can cause it. Getting help is a great – I wish more people were willing to do so.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life, on and off. I recently went through a really bad patch (instigated by a bad concussion and some other life events). It was really excruciating, as I hadn’t been in that bad of a place in a long time. I remember pulling off to the side of the road one day, because I was sobbing so hard, I felt like I was dying. It was like being crushed by a tremendous weight. I work late often, and I would be driving home on back roads, fantasizing about driving my car into something. I was also ditched by the person who was my closest friend at the time because I “wasn’t fun anymore” (after about 5 years of friendship). I don’t have a lot of close friends, so this made me feel even more alone. It was not a good time.
Medication has been REALLY helpful. I have been on and off of it for many years, and I don’t really like taking it. But the fact is, for me, it really helps keep me on an even keel. I still feel my feelings, but I can work through them, and they don’t engulf me anymore.
In my experience, there are a lot of things you can do to help yourself feel better (for me, in conjunction with medication). Your mileage may vary on these. One is eating well. I try to eat as little processed food as possible, and lots of fresh veggies. I know this is not possible (or even desired) for everyone, but it does help me. Another big help: regular, good quality sleep. I get up at the same time every day, and never let myself sleep in more than 30 minutes. I try and always get at least 8 hours of sleep (Ambien helps with this). Left to my own devices, I would be up until 3 or 4am and sleeping until afternoon, and it does not do good things to me. The last is exercise. I know it does not work for everyone, but I cannot do without it. It helps me clear my mind, makes my body feel good, and helps me to sleep better. Meditation has also been helpful to me, although I am a terrible meditator.
I hope you find some relief soon. When my feelings seem overwhelming, I try and tell myself, “How you feel now is not how you will feel forever. This will pass.” I know it may seem kind of trite, but it helps me. You can and will feel better. It just doesn’t always happen as instantaneously as we wish it could. My last piece of advice: be kind to yourself. Depression is not a moral failing.
Good luck! I take (the generic for) Zoloft myself and, whether because that was the medication for me or because I started it when I was physically and mentally mature enough to respond to treatment, it’s shown me for the first time what undistorted reality looks like. Spent the previous fifteen years or so going through cycles of depression, feeling suicidal but not having the guts to go through with it, scaring the hell out of my parents, half-assing my treatment, relapsing…anyway. I finally made some decisions about my life that got me to take recovery seriously, and so far it’s been going fantastically well. I don’t know whether I’ll be taking medication for the rest of my life, but honestly, I’m so much happier now that I don’t think I’d mind having to.
not better yet but heading that way.
I’m never going to be… of the sunniest disposition, I suspect, will always be prone to depressive phases, but I am no longer on any prescription medication and am looking at getting back into teh workplace.
It’s slow, but it’s happening. I no longer feel lost and trapped in some nightmarish world that doesn’t make sense.
I’m another one who needed Zoloft for about 7 months during a rough patch in college and it was super helpful. I went from not really being able to function to being able to finish out my semester and hold down a job during my time off. This was years ago and I have not needed medication again. The coping strategies I learned in therapy definitely helped with that, but my circumstances also changed and some of the acute issues became less so. As others have said, if you need it longer, you need it and should use all the tools available to you. But there are certainly a lot of people who are in or have been in your exact situation, who have used medication for a limited period of time and have not needed it after that.
I finished Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective agency today and felt stupid because I had to look up one of the plotlines online to realize that Coleridge was a real person.
Stupidity is the refusal or disinterest in learning. Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. Looking it up and admitting it, means you’re definitely not either.
That’s not “stupid.” That’s a tiny blip in your overall knowledge. It’s nothing.
I remember reading Drood, which is told from the perspective of a historical person about whom I know very little, and wondering how often I was missing plot points, allusions, and jokes that people more familiar with Wilkie Collins would pick up immediately. But it still worked as a story, and I can well imagine how Dirk Gently would continue to work even for a reader who thinks Coleridge is a fiction.
Learning that he was real and seeing the intersection between the historical person and the modern fiction sounds like a really fun surprise. Is it?
I am wearing the coziest oversized cardigan today and it’s not helping me not take a nap under my desk.
I have most of my family’s presents done, but I haven’t finished Mom’s present and haven’t started one bestie’s present and haven’t figured out what to get for my other bestie. PRESENTS ARE HARD.
Ug one of my friends told me yesterday that we have to get together soon because she has a present for me, and now I have to find a present for her. I thought I was done! One is never done with presents…
Ugh the “do we do presents or not” thing is so confusing and hard.
This year I just came out and told all of my local peeps that I’m only doing presents for immediate family (with whom I’ll be spending Christmas) and a couple of non-family small children in my circle who I’ll be seeing over the holiday. Luckily I think my close friends were already on the same page but I’m a little worried about my roommates…
my boss has a 18 month old baby and is not sleeping and so all of her questions for me tend to waver off halfway through as she stares at me, willing me to know what she is thinking so she doesn’t have to find words.
which doesn’t even matter, because i got a job offer (on my birthday!) and next week is my last week here anyway. wooo!
Last open thread I was complaining about my mom driving me insane with her anxiety over whether I would be up to hosting Christmas like I offered to. Happily, I can report that the deep clean she scheduled went extremely well (the cat was only mildly traumatized), and that she was actually impressed with my prep job when she stopped by the night before! I managed not to say “I told you so” and everything! Plus, my house is so clean now, oh my goodness.
Whooo hooo! I do remember your comment. So glad it worked out.
Good good!
I HATE MOVING SO MUCH. Motivating myself to keep putting things in boxes is the worst. Also I realized that I usually use my clothes as packing materials, but I already packed and moved my clothes so now all my ceramic and glassware is unprotected… but I can’t really motivate myself to care very much. HRRRRGGGGG who has that emoji of flipping a table because that’s how I’m feeling.
Moving is NOT fun. As for packing, can you get newspaper easily? For my last move I just got tons of the free newspapers they give away in the subway, and that worked out pretty well.
My own packing trick: If I’m using newspapers (as opposed to blank newsprint), I first wrap the [plate/glass/vase] in a paper towel. That keeps them from getting smudgy with ink, and the last thing I want to do is wash each dish before I put them away. And the paper towels don’t go to waste, because usually I’m cleaning cabinets and counters before I fill them.
You’re both brilliant geniuses, thank you. This is going to work way better than lying on my bed moaning softly.
update: move successful! My back is killing me but at least it’s killing me in my same ol bed in a new apartment!
Are there any other Toasties in the Triangle area (Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill/whatever other cities count) who would be interested in a book club or general meetup? I moved here recently and would love to make some friendz, especially Toast-type friends!
Me! Representing Durham!
Me! Representing Durham. Also representing a deep and abiding love of talking about books while drinking.
I am very into both of those things! I am going to twitter at you! (i.e., follow you, bc my account is protected. follow me and i’ll dm??)
Had a drunken make-out session with a beautiful witch, definitely under some kind of spell.
*male ‘pinner high five*
Is that even allowed? I’m scared to high-five out in the open. We can Hide-five.
I know a circle of protection spell against She Who Opposes!
Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus
Hummus Hummus [[High Five!]] Hummus Hummus
Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus Hummus
Haha good work, gotta keep this straight dude stuff on the DL.
My science-themed Q&A column now has two entries!! Woohoo! I’m really liking my new job, and loving that it’s given me the chance to do a science Q&A column!
Link? Link?! I have questions!
Here! http://sdsublog.wordpress.com/ (It’s the first two stories on the blog. And even though it seems rather tailored to the university, by no means do the questions have to arise from university people!)
Can we talk about post-relationship dating? My 2+ years relationship ended six weeks ago, and I’m SO not ready to get into another one, but I feel like in a couple of weeks (when I’m back from visiting family for Christmas) it wouldn’t be the worst thing to start casually dating – just to dip my toes back in the water, so to speak. Practice being myself with menfolk and being choosy and stuff. I need to wait a few more months before “serious” dating. But hanging out? I know everyone is different, but….is this a bad idea? Any stories y’all can share about your own experiences?
This is terrible advice, but I am actually a firm proponent of “the best way to get over someone is to get under (or peg, or whatever it is you like to do) someone else.”
Hmm, never pegged before but why not start now? A new post breakup hobby, alongside learning Spanish.
No, it’s not a bad idea! And I totally agree with Nicole. I actually really clicked with my first OKC date after a 2+ yr relationship. We only ended up going on a few dates, but it was still really good to get out there. I just need to prove to myself that I could do it/could find other people attractive/would be attractive to others (and I’m guessing you’re in the same place).
Yes, exact same place! I’ll send you a postcard. Thanks for your story!
Totally go date if you think you want to. If you determine you’re not actually ready, you can just stop.
If you’re feeling ready to try some casual dating, then I say go for it! If at any point you’re not enjoying it you can just stop but if you find you like it and are clicking with dude(s) then, that’s cool too! My 2 year relationship ended last Feb., and by August I figured I was ready to give dating a shot again, and by Thanksgiving I realized I just wan’t feeling it so I quit “active” dating. I figure I’ll get back into it after the holiday. Though I ultimately decided I wasn’t ready/didn’t want to invest the time into it right now, I think it was helpful in getting me over the worst of the lingering break up sads.
That makes sense. The REAL worst (sobbing 24/7) is over at this point, but obviously there are still months ahead of processing things and I’m hoping that going on the occasional date might help distract me from that a bit/move it along somewhat. I’m glad it helped you! Thanks for your advice.
Date away! If you’re the online dating type there are usually ways to choose what kind of relationship you’re looking for for you can put down casual or short-term dating so there are no surprises.
Go at your comfort level. It’s been three years since my break-up and I still don’t feel like dating too much.
The dry spell however…that’s a different story.
GUYS I TOTALLY KILLED ALL MY FINALS AND KEPT UP MY 4.0 GPA!!! SO CAPSLOCKY!!! I have one more year left of nursing school, the light at the end of the tunnel seems soooooo clooooooose…
Wow! 4.0 in nursing school is impressive. Way to go!
Awesome!!! POST THIS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THIS IS A REALLY BADASS FEAT AND YOU DESERVE TO BRAG ABOUT IT.
I am home for the holidays! It was an Ordeal, let me tell you. I had a flight from Amsterdam, slightly under two hour layover in London, and then a flight from there to Denver. Which would have been fine except Heathrow was completely fogged in and the Amsterdam flight was delayed 4 hours. Which meant me (and everyone else flying from a point in Europe to Heathrow and vice-versa) missed our connections. So I had a fun Wednesday of waiting in an unmoving line in Heathrow for about 9 hours before managing to get a very nice customer service person (who was not part of the people who were supposed to be rebooking us, there were very little of them) to let me use her landline phone to call the BA toll line. I got rebooked onto a flight leaving Friday, begged a frazzled staffer for a hotel voucher (they had them, but everything was so chaotic with getting one that many people opted for the floor of the hotel connected to Heathrow), and left. But! Then I called yesterday morning, found out that instead of there being no places on the flight for Thursday there were places on the flight for Thursday, rushed out of the hotel, and got myself on the damn plane home. Now I am home where I intend to spend 2.5 weeks on the couch watching Ancient Aliens which has a marathon on today to welcome me back.
I ended up drinking a few celebratory gins and tonics yesterday. BA may be mostly incompetent in their coping with a crisis, but they do still give you gin for free.
I need a few gin and tonics just from reading this! I’m happy to hear you got there eventually. Delayed/cancelled flights are the WOOOOOORST.
ugh it suuuuucked. But it worked out OK in the end, could have been a lot worse. And now I’m home on the couch and my mom made me breakfast and there’s iced tea in the fridge, so phew.
Congratulations on overcoming your travel ordeals! I once spent 25 hours in the Newark airport shortly before Christmas because of Weather and it was deeply traumatic. But Heathrow would’ve been even more traumatic, so bravo on getting home earlier than expected *and* getting a hotel voucher!
Ugh. My dad had weather issues trying to get out to Paris to meet me and my sister (and mom) for his birthday, but got delayed and had to spend his 60th birthday in Newark instead. Booo.
Yes, I’m very pleased with myself for managing the hotel voucher and next-day flight! They basically shut down at 11 with nothing resolved for most people (ugggh), but there were people sort of trying to settle things holding hotel vouchers, so I begged/almost cried and got them to give me one. I’m not proud when it involves me getting a shower and bed.
If the alternative is having to stay in Heathrow any longer than necessary, there is absolutely no shame in crying for a hotel voucher. Grr, Heathrow.
yup. Not ashamed of the begging, rather I’m proud that I got the hotel room through whatever means necessary. No sleeping on the floor and I could call from the room and not have to wait in any more damn lines to get my flight changed.
Speaking as someone who had to commute home to America via Heathrow every year for the holidays for four years (plus many many trips for business), let me emphatically say FUCK HEATHROW. Even when it’s working well, that place sucks. Nice job navigating its hellishness and making it home!
Toasties I have a friend and her boyfriend visiting and it is so nice but they are tiringgggg. So I am at work today, while Mr. Polka Dots hangs out with them today. He’s arguably better friends with them than I am anyway, so it works out, but I am really hoping they stay out just until after I get home from work so I have an hour or so to just…be quiet.
Ever since my roommate and I saw the “Dance Your Dissertation” competition videos, we’ve been trying to choreograph our research. This week, I get to read a big stack of books on my long term research for an exams meeting with my supervisor, and I am going to get SO MANY ideas for new dance moves/dissertation chapters.
In my last job, I worked with the guy who runs that competition! It’s super fun.
When you do this you’re going to post about it here, right? RIGHT?
As the project continues to develop, I’ll keep posting updates. I think it’s reasonable to assume that the Toast Commentariat will get a thank you line in my someday dissertation, both for giving me critical impetus to think about gender in relation to my project (I research CAVE WOMEN, thank you very much) and for keeping me reasonably sane + seriously delighted throughout the whole process.
OH AND three of my friends and I are going to IKEA’s Christmas dinner tonight! It’s become a tradition for us to go to all of their events to stuff ourselves with meatballs and those amazing coffee truffle things they have. We couldn’t get tickets, but whenever that happens, we just show up anyway and try to get in at the door, and it’s never failed yet. Apparently they sold out in OCTOBER, though, so who knows.
Good luck! i didn’t even know that was a thing. I’ll have to look into it for next year.
I don’t even know with American Horror Story anymore, guys. I want to like this season so much, but I am constantly baffled by things they do. I guess that shouldn’t be a shock.
I have seven million things to do this weekend, and all I want to do is hibernate and drink wine and not talk to anyone.
Wait, what happened this week? I couldn’t watch because my cute/idiot dog at the remote, so we couldn’t get the channels changed. We can spoiler alert the shit out of this, but I need to know.
Can I point you in the direction of the AV Club review? Just a lot of not know what the hell they’re doing with characters. I feel like this season seems even more like they right it just before it airs than Asylum did.
OMG YOU GUYS BEYONCÉ. Just…Beyoncé.
SASHA. FUCKING. FIERCE.
BEYONCÉ
I just tried a new cheesecake recipe and I think I screwed up the US/metric conversions. Well, I know I did, because it’s burnt. So much for being ready early for tomorrow’s Christmas party.
I’m sorry. I really want to make a cheesecake, but I’m worried that between converting to metric, sketchy substitutions I might have to make for cream cheese and the fact that my oven here has a dial going from 1-9 instead of temperatures, I’m concerned I’d ruin it.
I accidentally became fixated on Shakespeare this week. Please help.
There was Accidental Shakespeare Fortnight a few weeks ago in which I watched two different versions of Hamlet because I didn’t manage my Netflix dvd queue wisely and then followed that up with a radio adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing because I ran out of other things to listen to on my iPod while cleaning. I thought I’d successfully steered my attention towards something else afterwards, but NO.
So please help. I need someone to keep me from rewatching A Midsummer Night’s Dream in any form.
There’s an adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing that stars Damien Lewis, and ends with Claudio apologizing to Hero for humiliating her at the altar and Hero telling him to go to hell.
That’s not helping! Because that sounds pretty awesome.
Links or it didn’t happen.
Shakespeare Retold; Netflix has it. The Much Ado About Nothing one is on the first disc, along with Taming of the Shrew (Katherine becomes Prime Minister and Petruchio stays home and takes care of their kids).
Wait…so you’re here to be talked out of watching Shakespeare adaptations? (cackles evilly) I think you’ve come to the wrong place. But, ok, how about easing out of the straight Shakespeare with Shakespeare-tinged fizzy cocktails? Have you seen “In the Bleak Midwinter” aka “A Midwinter’s Tale”? Or, if you’ve already watched the Kevin Kline Midsummer so many times that you have Stanley Tucci on the brain consider “The Imposters” – both films feature some excellent terrible interpretations of Hamlet. Alternately, if you’re not ready to give up the Renaissance but want to cut yourself off from Shakespeare…consider “Revengers Tragedy”. Christopher Eccleston runs around with a skull, and Derek Jacobi and Eddie Izzard are eeeeevil.
I think it might be too late for me. I have Kline’s Midsummer sitting right here waiting for me to put it in the player because I haven’t actually seen it yet. (I instead have been watching and rewatching a 1996 version that’s like a poor mutant hybrid of a film and a stage production that doesn’t quite work as a film but nevertheless is glorious and wonderful and also happens to be on Netflix streaming.) Netflix has mailed me The Winter’s Tale. I put more radio productions on my iPod. Too. Late.
But Revengers Tragedy is undeniably *magnificent*, it’s true. If only all post-apocalyptic movies could have such fantastic hair and makeup and also Christopher Eccleston with a skull.
I think any movie would be improved with Christopher Eccleston with a skull. Planet of the Apes…The Wizard of Oz…Charlie and the Chocolate Factory….Love Actually….hmmm. Will have to think on this further and write some letters to Mr. Eccleston’s agent.
Revengers is fantastic in any form because it is unabashedly batshittedly brilliant.
I’m not saying this’ll help, but you should absolutely watch The Reduced Shakespeare Company’s The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged. It’s absurdly funny.
I don’t understand how this is a problem? Except that maybe the comedies aren’t worth spending so much time on, so you should watch Taymor’s Titus and the Lear with Ian McKellen and the Branagh parts of his Othello. Yes, that’s what you should do.
Well, this fixation would’ve been so much more convenient circa 2008, when I was last studying Shakespeare. Certainly more understandable anyway.
Maybe I’m belatedly making up for my lack of exposure to the comedies that aren’t Twelfth Night…
TOASTIES LET’S TUMBL I wanna follow some smart ladiezz
(Oh, dudes too. And non-defined persons)
TEMPTRESS BE GONE. It already takes me an hour to get through my dash in the morning. *weeps* Not that anything on my dash (or in my archives) is particularly smart. It’s mostly just pretty pictures, fangirl squee, and occasional rage.
POST IT ANYHOW! Free time is for chumps
http://clevermanka.tumblr.com/
Can I just note that you have one of my favorite usernames ever?
Aw! Thank you! <3 <3 <3
Oh let’s. I’m hawthorn-tree: http://hawthorn-tree.tumblr.com/
At the moment I’m mostly mourning Supernatural’s squandered potential, but sometimes I post other things.
FOLLOW PAR-T
WHY SUPERNATURAL? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I don’t think anyone attached to the show is qualified to answer that question.
True. It’s so awful. The recent BS about Misha being censored just makes me want to stop watching. I might just. BLAH.
Yumyumyes is my tumblr handle. I post images of foods that do not look appetizing and caption them.
THIS IS REALLY GREAT hahahahah your tags are killing me
Thanks! I’m looking forward to following more Toasties!
I have one! I already follow you, though, but here it is for others!
I THOUGHT I WAS FOLLOWING YOU. HOW WAS I NOT???
omg, apparently I wasn’t following you either. 🙁 🙁 🙁 ALL HAS BEEN RECTIFIED.
my Tumblr is this one: http://voelliglosgeloest.tumblr.com
be warned it is like 65% at least Arsenal players doing adorable things
My tumblr’s here: that saturday feeling
I’m here: http://jessenigma.tumblr.com
I very much like these threads, as following people from here and the ‘Pin has made my tumblr experience pretty awesome.
YO SUP my tumblr is the same name as I use here!
I’m here: http://kate-e-k.tumblr.com/
But I’m a kind of boring middle aged lady
Both my tumblr and instagram handles are soundandnoise. I don’t update them very often, but let’s digitally hangout more everyone!
I feel like I should warn anyone thinking of following me…I spam my followers with a themed collection of at least 20 posts almost every Tuesday. Topics vary widely. From last Tuesday’s (All Callum Keith Rennie, All The Time) to fannish stuff (Sherlock fan art) to absolutely random (bats! hearts! people smoking! lots of people smoking…). So just…be aware. Always SFW, though. kthx.
This is me! http://frigwiggin.tumblr.com/
Yes! Mine is mostly feminist reblogs. http://ohlorax.tumblr.com/
I just followed allllll y’alllllls.
wintertrails.tumblr.com
😀 😀 😀
You can find me at caitlinthinks.tumblr.com!
This is the motivation I needed to get on Tumblr. (*Waves research productivity goodbye.*)
WELCOME TO THE RABBIT HOLE
I am home sick today, even though I’m only KIND OF sick and I’m feeling a bit guilty. Normally I drag myself to work unless I’m horribly sick, but I don’t have anything pressing that I can’t do from home, and a bunch of my coworkers have babies and I don’t want to get them and their babies sick for Christmas. I’m trying to convince myself that’s a valid reason, and this is only the second sick day I’ve taken during almost 4 years at my job, but I still feel a bit like a malingerer for staying home.
that is a TOTALLY valid reason. Do what you can do from home, that’ll make you feel better. Know that it’ll hurt the office more if more people/their kids get sick.
Um, stop feeling guilty please. I took a mental health day the other week and felt so much better. Sometimes you need days like this to be better at working.
Did anyone ever have a drastic change in what kind of partner they want after a really bad break-up? I asked some of my friends and I seem to be the only one.
I used to be into quiet nerdy types, and after having my heart broken by both, I’m way more attracted to extroverted outgoing types now. Tell me I’m not the only one.
You are not the only one! Just from my own relationship history, I went from dating a gluten/lactose-intolerant (small scale) drug-dealer who hated books to a 15+ years sober ate-everything-foodie/book nerd to a beer-snob vegetarian video-gamer. And on a deeper level, I am definitely looking for someone with a different personality from my last ex. I think every relationship you go through helps you clarify what it is you do and don’t want from a partner.
That sounds like a perfectly reasonable reaction to that situation.
Have your friends never had food-poisoning based food aversions?
Ha! Good analogy!
The more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that was my type all along. My last two relationships were somewhat pushed on me as “You’re quiet and smart! He’s quiet and smart! It’s perfect!” Of course, I never crushed as hard on them as I did other guys who were outgoing and did stuff. I was just too chickenshit to ever make a move.
Adding to say, you’re not the only one.
My trajectory was exactly the same: quiet nerdy to extroverted outgoing. Have fun!
My wife is awesome, and she is going to ruin me. She is making like six or seven different types of cookie this weekend which I will eat them all because she is an awesome baker. It will be wonderful! And it may kill me.
Also I’m getting a raise in January! I’ll go from making Not Much Money to making Still Not Much But Slightly More Money!
Oh, in case you are interested, the cookies are:
1) Oreos
2) Key Lime Meltaways
3) Sables with Speculoos cream filling
4) World Peace cookies
5) Oatmeal Chocolate Chip
6) Rugelach Pinwheels
I’m making oatmeal chocolate chip, world peace cookies, and raspberry jam thumbprint cookies. Plus a new variety that’s a variation of compost cookies with cut up kitkat bars, corn flakes, graham crackers, and more. The most wonderful time of the year;)
My university changed its insurance plan, and Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo went from $0/month to $40/month. According to the pharmacist, Aetna wants to “discourage people from choosing not to take generics.” Except there ISN’T a generic for Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo. Fucking Aetna.
Ugh, I just went through a prescription insurance change. My non-generic BC went from $50 to $110 because it was non-covered under my new plan. WTF? I had a major freak out and spent several days calling and harassing my GYN for a new script for something covered. We ended up having to change my script to something else completely but I’m happy to say it’s working well… and the best part, it’s FREE! Hopefully you can talk to your doc and see if there’s something chemically similar they can try you out on.
What are you using now? Everything I’ve tried to switch to before has been TERRIBLE.
I had some bad experiences when I was first trying out BC, about 8 years ago, so I was really nervous. But I wanted to find something more affordable, so I took the risk. I’m now taking Junel and it’s been working out well. The first month, I had some breast-tenderness, but that was the only side effect. Which I found pretty amazing!
I’ve never even heard of Junel! I’ll look into it 🙂 Thanks!
Yo, remember when there WAS a generic for OTCLo (tri lo sprintec) and then they discontinued it without warning and I had to call like six pharmacies in an increasing panic on Sunday night trying to find one that “had it in stock” until someone FINALLY was like, “oh, they don’t make that anymore, come in and we will give you OTCLo.”?? A fun and special day. (And it did cost $30 more).
I’m currently in a big fight with Aetna about this myself (and I am also a lawyer). Under the subregulatory guidance provided by Health and Human Services, they must cover all FDA-approved forms of birth control without a copay. The only exception is in case where a generic version is available. You can contact the National Women’s Law Center for help: “If you believe your health plan has not implemented the preventive services without additional costs requirement appropriately, please contact us at 1-866-PILL4US or via email at [email protected].”
(I’ve had my appeal denied but have a pending complaint with the state insurance commissioner and an attorney at NWLC has been very supportive.)
We’re getting “wintery mix” tonight and tomorrow so that means AWESOME FUN TIMES running errands this weekend. Not to mention the misery just getting home from work tonight. But my partner bought me a pair of Frye boots (!!!!!) that should arrive early next week and it’s amazing how the anticipation of Awesome New Boots can help with the mental trauma of Midwest winter weather.
Boots make the winter bearable. My dog just ate one of my Bogs, and I am so sad about it. And when our weather guy said “winter mix” he meant nine inches of snow overnight, on top of the ice created by subzero temps all week. Good on your partner!
I need mom/gift/body image/fitness gear help! My mom lost a good deal of weight about 2 years ago by changing her diet. Beyond yard work, she doesn’t exercise. This year she requested workout clothes for Christmas, with links to specific items she wants. A gift I’d be glad to give her, as a person who loves to exercise! BUT the company that makes these specific clothes promotes them as being made of weight-loss-inducing fabric. Like it traps your body heat which is supposed to make you lose more weight, somehow?
To me it sounds like snake oil that promotes weight loss as a goal in itself, and I don’t want to support that with my dollars. But she’s a grown-ass woman who can do whatever she wants, and maybe having these snake-oil clothes will encourage her to move her body around. So do I get her some “same genre, different item” stuff from Athleta or something? Or do I spring for the snake-oil? Or do I get her, like, a new purse?
Can you call her up and ask “Hey mom what SPECIFICALLY about these ones did you like? Because I found something similar but [in a different color] [in my budget] [whatever] and I wanted to make sure it would still fit your needs!” ?
Brilliant.
Ohhh, that’s smart. Wow. Much impress. Very wisdom.
Unfortunately, that line of questioning might lead to a conversation about why you don’t want to buy it for her (“Oh well I love the weight loss inducing fabric!” “Well mom….”) so if you’d rather not go there I’d advise against taking my own advice!
Good point. Maybe I’ll go with the same genre, different item gift… It’s not like she’s never gotten me a not-quite-right thing before. I’ll include the gift receipt, no sweat. Literally.
Holiday presents for a person you’re newly dating: yes or no?? It’s been about a month but there’s been daily contact, talk of the future, etc. Plus he’s already self-identified as a person who loves giving presents so I’m guessing there will be one coming my way. I’d much rather skip it but that could be because I have no idea what to get.
That sounds a bit fraught, sure. I think if you think you’ll get something from him, maybe you should get him something… Given the short time, I would go with a box of candy or something?
Now I’m thinking about how I just started dating a guy and we haven’t talked about Christmas presents or anything…
So, I’m not actually qualified to answer this as a person who has never dated anyone, but I’d say to get a tiny gift-something impersonal if nothing better occurs to you-like cookies or chocolate or a bottle of wine.
A few of my favorite gift ideas that might work for new dudes: crazy socks, liquor, some kind of delicious homemade food item, tickets to a concert/sporting event, a book you think he’ll love, a mixtape. Choose according to your budget/his taste, stir to combine, bake at 350, let cool to room temperature, wrap and deliver.
I’m a fan of giving little succulents in pots…they are not super personal (or expensive) and they’re hard to kill! No guilt over dooming your present to certain death.
You can certainly skip it, but if you want to choose a present, what about building on something the two of you have done – and enjoyed hugely – together? Do you go the movies? Movie tickets and a theater-sized box of Raisinettes (or whatever snack he loves). Did you have a great talk about childhood books? Grab him a copy of the one that piqued his interest.
A real-life example: for our first trip together, my now-husband surprised me with a visit to his family’s beach cottage, unused for the winter. We built a fire (with a little bit of trouble) and spent the evening in front of it. For our first Christmas, just a few weeks later, I gave him a basket full of firestarters: wax-covered pine cones and fatwood kindling and wax sawdust cakes and long matches. It was a little present, but it was a nod to something affectionate and fun we’d shared.
I also vote for a book you think he might enjoy or tickets for an activity for the two of you! Something small but like “hey, I thought of you! But just casually. Also I think you’re cute!”
Went from “oh god how do I computer” to “dance for me, Access reports! Do my bidding!” within the last 24 hours or so. Now stealthily playing Nicki Minaj and being hypnotized by Race Bannon’s crotch.
NERDY ADDENDA: That gif is from the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, and it is actually Race Bannon’s evil robot doppleganger dancing. Thus the power cord.
(why do I know this)
I was about to ask if that’s a tail or if he’d tied down. And it’s neither!
It’s official…I am attracted to this cartoon and his magic dance.
Coding Circle open thread here! What’s everyone been up to this week?
I was talking to a friend about insecurity this week, and used this coding metaphor: “…and then I realized that you could be insecure about an infinite number of things, because you can get insecure about feeling insecure, and then you can feel insecure about your insecurity insecurity, and BOOM: recursive insecurity, into infinity!” Recursion is a very useful concept.
I also made a PHP generator for Mallory’s Victorian Doctor Mad Libs, the code for which I’m happy to share with anyone who’s interested.
I am taking baby steps with coding! I’m leaving tomorrow to visit my parents for two weeks and there will be days where they are at work and I am sitting at home vacationing (I can’t drive and the city they live in is not safe to just wander around in if you don’t know where you’re going) and I’m going to use that time to work on my coding. I’ve been working through the codeacademy tutorials. I’m also hoping to take an intro to computer programming class in the spring, that is, if the school ever finishes processing my application.
I actually have an answer this week! I’m getting ready to teach a programming class in the spring, so I’ve been playing around with PHP and Ruby tutorials to make sure I really want to teach JavaScript. (I know some PHP, almost no Ruby, and lots of Java/C++.) What I really need to learn is Perl, though…
I also learned about using scripts with Google spreadsheets (which is really easy and now my spreadsheets behave the way I want them to!), so it’s been a good week!
I spent the week trying to figure out my advisor’s code. He didn’t keep any notes or log files or anything. Everytime I ask him about something, he tells me to do the wrong thing (I fiund out eventually). At my meeting today, he couldn’t figure out what he did. I’m so over this week!
I finished sending/Amazoning all the presents to my family on MONDAY. I feel so much like an adult, I can’t even tell you. I only have Mr Prawns presents left now.
Then, all this week, I gradually have this big tender lump on the side of my boob. Last night I was convinced I had cancer. Then I woke up this morning and the other boob is also doing a big tender lump in the same place, so now I think it’s just weird PMS cyst stuff and I’m reacting by wearing a different bra to take the pressure off that specific site. I made an appointment for next week to get it checked out.
This morning while still thinking I have cancer, I also had a lot of terrible-person thoughts about how I would never want to tell Mr Prawns’s parents about if I had cancer because his mom would only ever want to talk about that for literally the rest of our lives, and would buy me every single fucking pink shit she would ever see. Mr Prawns was lovely and told me that if I got cancer, we wouldn’t have to tell them. So, that was weirdly comforting.
I have been having lots of really strange and upsetting dreams lately, so sleep has not been very restful. Somebody please tell me about any pleasant or funny dreams you’ve recently had!
I dreamed that my hair (which is currently buzzed) grew to a shaggy bob without me or anyone else noticing.
I had a dream that I was watching a Seinfeld rerun, but in the dream one of the main characters on Seinfeld was Data, the android from Star Trek TNG. I turned to the person I was watching with and said “You know, it’s actually kind of weird that when Seinfeld was on, we all just casually accepted the fact that it included a science fiction robot-man. I guess that was more of a thing in the 90s.”
Then I woke up and laughed and laughed.
I am so jealous of this dream.
I dreamt that Tupac was still alive in his 40s, and that he & Coolio & Mick Jagger & Steven Seagal were singing “Gangsta’s Paradise” onstage together.
where do i sign up for your dreams?
My dream this morning was a little weird (knitting convention at my middle school) with a lot of wandering around being lost, but there were also marshmallow frappucinos, so that is something I would like to exist.
I had a Toast-specific dream, wherein there was a get-together at Nicole’s house (which I imagined to be a beatiful mountain lodge) and I drove to it, all the way from the Midwest, but it was worth it because I met so many cool and interesting people, and this dream was so great that it caused me, for the first time in my life, to sleep through my alarm clock and wake up, like, a minute before I had to leave for work.
Last night I dreamed I was Walter Berglund, which is ridiculous because I’m clearly Gary Lambert.
I don’t remember many of my dreams, but the last one I can remember was this dramatic thriller thing where I was saving a sentient Victorian automaton from an evil man with an honest-to-god Villain Moustache. We were running away from a Renaissance Festival and our last hideout before I woke up was one of those tiny little old-lady beauty parlors you find in small towns where her husband has converted their back porch into a salon and the whole place reeks of bad perm chemicals.
I too have been having some really weird vivid dreams lately, some bad, some AMAZING, like the one I had last week. It was one of those fun ones where you’re not really a protagonist, you just get to relax and watch the dream like a movie. Guys, it was a historical gay romance with a happy ending. These two beardy men were both fighting in the American Civil War and became friends, and then one of them got captured while on a spy mission and there was torture and rescue and revelation of feelings and making out in a Southern prison (fortunately my dreamscape was not going for historical accuracy in any of this, so limited blood and death, just lots of explosions) but then inevitable sad separation….and then, flash forward! The dream ended in the 1920s as you saw that these two guys had found each other after the war and moved out west to a tiny town and were a little old ancient couple together, and they’d adopted kids and had a family who thought they were weird but otherwise cool with their radical gay selves and it was lovely.
What a fantastic dream.
BRB, writing a grant to fund a film of this.
errybody I didnt want to be first person to the party and have been shoddily editing my babybro’s undergraduate paper for the past two hours (MAN I DON’T MISS COLLEGE EVER)
BUT! if anyone is interested lastnight i met up with an old dom friend of mine and it was SPLENDID. i got a whiskey cocktail made for me at my bar for cheapsies, I looked fly as hell (read: Q in new skyfall esque with sex boots), we came back to my place, played, ate mac and cheese, drank wine, watched Layer Cake and I woke up on my couch sans him and his bike. My ass is pink and yessssss. I’m done with this semester. Two weeks until this hellhole of a year leaves me be and I’m just, y’all, yes. YES.
THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME TOAST!
Yay, playing with no strings! YAAAAAYYYY!!!
THANK YOU PRAWNS THANK YOU! Also he’s such an Aries and I feel like I’m being real US Forestry leaving him better than I found him AKA consulting on dating while kinky and explaining honest boundaries and lol he has a beard no thanks.
YAY FOR YOUR POLY APPROVAL SERIOUSLY I NEED THAT SHIT.
Yay Open/Poly!
I just did STUFF with Potato/Bird Faced man I’m dating this week, and worked really hard on my marriage, too!
So, YAY Open/Poly!!!
“Q in new skyfall esque with sex boots”
Wow. hngngngngngngngngn
I really gotta incorporate more cardigans into my wardrobe. THRIFT STORES, HO!
also outlet malls!
Hello people! I, for some strange reason, have not been visiting this wonderful place nearly enough, and I have been commenting zero, but I can no longer resist (initially, I had some trouble with the format, my eyes do seriously weird shit sometimes) because any place that posts Rory/Paris femslash is, obviously, the most perfect place. The most perfect place on the planet. I look forward to visiting my bad one-liners upon you all.
Also, I am going to go make a cocktail because oh my actual christ is it gloomy out/I have the day off/bad cramps/its Friday/did you know Rebecca Black came out with a song called “Saturday”/Isn’t that amazing/I am going to the mall this weekend/I am going to multiple malls this weekend/other things TBD
Anyway, babbling over, what are you guys drinking tonight?
lol tonight straight up cracked a PBR about ten minutes ago. scotchy scotch scotch.
PS cocktail! also last night i had a “oaxacan old fashioned” which I was all look I’m halfie and not Mexican but real Oaxacan? but it was amazing! makers + lemon + grapefruit + an orange peel mmmmmmm i was in paradise.
The “Oaxacan old fashioned” sounds fucking brilliant, and if I weren’t the laziest ever, I would go buy some Makers cause that’s all I’m missing (or maybe I’ll just call it something else and make it with cheap vodka)
OK BUT ALSO I barely read the Bartender screed (sorry Bartender! SORRY) but my favorite holiday cocktail was invented at a house party in ladycollege called the Mo Ho Ho Hijto. It involves cheap vodka, lime juice, mint, and ideally ginger beer or squirt (think dark and stormy meets moscow mule). Shit was amazing, barring awful name, I was 21, dig?
The Mo Ho Ho Hijto sounds amazeballs and honestly I like the name.
That’s … just a Moscow Mule with mint, yes? Because THOSE ARE DELICIOUS AND DANGEROUS. Mostly delicious.
1. the bartender approves of Mo Ho ho Hijto
2. Screed?!!
Gin and lavender soda! My parents still have half of the bottle of fancy gin I had them buy last time. Maybe I’ll throw some bitters in there. Also we might have a Lillet before they leave to go to their concert because apparently they like Lillet now.
The lavender soda part sounds pretty good, I can’t with the gin, though. But, mmm, lavender soda…
It’s the Dry Soda lavender, which is beautiful (like all their sodas- great flavors, not too sweet), and since I love gin I think it’s perfect.
Mulled wine. To effing cold for anything else.
If my ball hockey team is victorious I will be drinking Santa Julia Organic Sparkling Brut (outside in a shitty alleyway on the way to a bar) and then shitty beer! Hopefully also the case if my team loses! (No one on my team knows I bought champagne-equivalent so it’s not a jinx, or at least I hope so, although we’re kinda screwed anyway)
IT”S YOOOOOOOOO! My sports buddy! /flails around like a doofus
Tonight I’m going to have some fancy-ass hot chocolate at the local coffee shop; I am meeting buddies there for a knitting group. Hoping I can make headway on the cowl I promised my mom for Christmas. Ulp.
Fancy hot chocolate sounds so good right now, I might just make myself an Irish one!
Try tequila, too!
I tried adding tequila to hot chocolate once and it was a baaaaaad bad thing. What am I doing wrong? Is there a trick to it that I’ve missed?
Wait a second! Area! It’s you!! I thought somehow I was blanking on someone’s handle, I think my brain stopped reading at “sedna”! I have missed you so!!
Also, ohmygod, we have gone so long without talking d.c. football when oh sweet merciful christ, we keep topping ourselves year after year, how do we even do it?!
Did you hear Sexy Rexy’s comments from yesterday on Cooley’s show? If he gets in the game he would “definitely sling it around”. Someone, anyone, get him in the game.
Allll the beer! Tonight will be beer and basketball at Buffalo Wildwing’s, but I’m not sure what kind. Possibly Anchor Steam, if they have it.
Beer, basketball, Buffalo Wildwing’s sounds excellent, also, it reminds me of Beets, Bears, Battlestar Gallactica, so I read it in Jim-as-Dwight-Schrutes voice.
Sortilege in one glass, hot mint tea in the other. Been out looking at weird art in the cold – two beverages at the same time are required.
GUYS! My boss sent around articles about freakish, physics-defying qualities about fire ants as some exhortation (maybe?) to the importance of teams and collaboration, and all I could think about was Mallory’s take on the whole situation.
What ridiculous work/Toast coincidences have happened to you all?
I told my friend about Lulu last night and he was all pissed off about it! He sent me a follow-up email today to complain more and I replied “whatever, #sexpanther” and he hasn’t written back so maybe he hates me.
Okay, I was up late last night working on a work project, and then I slept for four hours and then went in to work early to finish it, and tonight I will probably have to stay late for another work project, and I like the overtime money but I just hit the wall super-hard, and I don’t know if caffeine will make it better or worse. Really all I want to do is go home and have a beer (…several beers) and read some good fanfic (Firefly? Avengers? Sherlock? I feel like I’ve kind of exhausted the resources of AO3, and I’m not sure I have the energy to find a new source) (also, if I had read as much in “the real world” as I have fanfic this past year, I would have finished my To Read pile five or six times over, I’m pretty sure)
Also there are enough tabs open on my browser that the title of this one just reads “Cock,” which is almost entirely inaccurate.
Just gonna hang out here in my own thread until I get to go home. The office upstairs is having an awesome karaoke party, and I want to crash it so hard.
Are you interested in explicit Simon/Jayne fic? If so, check out Kylie Lee (http://kylielee1000.com/firefly/index.html). Her Simon/Jayne stories is what got me to watch the show in the first place.
Yeah, that definitely hit the spot. Thanks!
Toasties, I had to travel most of this week for work and just got home last night. I missed you all! I am now going back to review all the awesome content I missed whilst flying around the country and meeting with clients. (Even though I have 80 zillion errands to run today and a little girl’s birthday party to prepare for tomorrow.)
Somehow despite how crazy my life is, I’ve managed to vomit up a piece and a proposal for The Toast. The email to Nicole and Mallory is even sitting in my drafts folder. But I’m too scared to send it out. It’s been there for a week or more. Someone please tell me to (as my dad used to say) shit or get off the pot already.
Send it! Look, the worst that happens is that it doesn’t get accepted and posted on The Toast, and you have that now anyway by not submitting. With writing, the starting position is always “no”, so you’re not risking anything by trying for the “yes”.
Please remember we once sweetly rejected a pitch from a man who wanted us to send him on a three-week tour of Spanish wine country, with the goal of writing a piece about changing vineyard culture.
I can’t remember who posted those Chai Spice Snickerdoodles a couple weeks ago in the comments, but I made them for my work’s cookie throwdown and WON! Granted I also un-veganized the recipe and used regular snickerdoodles as a base, because pure maple syrup was too expensive.
True shoutouts to that person because I ended up making the Mexican Hot Chocolate Snickerdoodles from the same site (v. similar recipe) and they were the hit of a holiday potluck!
Ooh I’m thinking of making those next! I saw the comments for them and was intrigued. But I think my endurance for baking is at an end at least for this month. Unless I magically get the patience to make gingerbread cookies.
Well, if you ever do, the comments are definitely right about taking them out after 8-9 minutes instead of 10-12.
Agreed but the downside is that DA2 is stylistically one long Orzammar: takes way too long to walk through unbeautiful cityscapes, background NPCs are beggars and thugs, and the soundtrack is pretty dire.