If there’s a consistent theme across the Legend of Zelda franchise, it’s people who underestimate the Hero of Time based on his age, and are pretty damn rude about it, too.
Phantom Ganon
“Hey, kid, you did quite well… It looks like you may be gaining some slight skill… But you have defeated only my phantom… When you fight the real me, it won’t be so easy!”
Mido
“Hey you! ‘Mr. No Fairy!’ What’s your business with the Great Deku Tree? Without a fairy, you’re not even a real man! What? You’ve got a fairy? Say what? The Great Deku Tree actually summoned you? Whaaaaaaat?! Why would he summon you and not the Great Mido? I don’t believe you! You aren’t even fully equipped yet. How do you think you’re going to help the Great Deku Tree without both a sword and a shield ready?”
Malon
“Your clothes, they’re so different. Wait, are you from the forest, fairy boy?”
Nabooru
“You’re just a kid! The temple is no place for kids!”
Madame Aroma
“Oh dear, are you on a field trip?”
Princess Ruto
“You! Who are you?! I am Ruto, Princess of the Zoras. What?! Are you saying my father asked you to come here to save me? I’d never ask anyone to do such a thing! ‘Letter in a Bottle?’ I have no idea what you’re talking about! My father is worried about me? I don’t care! Anyway, I can’t go home right now. And you…Get out of here! Understand? Are you still hanging around here? I told you to go away!”
Hyrule Villagers
“Young children shouldn’t be walking the streets at night, go home and get to bed.”
The Rosa Sisters
“Ugh! Kid, don’t bother us!”
Koume and Kotake
“Look at that stupid kid! He came on his own to offer himself as a sacrifice for the great Ganondorf”
Midna
“There, there. You be a good boy and calm down. No need to bite! So! I bet you’re wondering, where are we?! Well, I’ll make you a deal. If you can get over here, I’ll tell you. Eee hee!
I found you! Oooh! Aren’t you scary? Eee hee! Are you sure you want to be doing that? Snarling and glaring at me? Well, that’s too bad… I was planning on helping you… if you were nice. Eee hee! That’s much better! You humans are obedient to a fault, aren’t you?”
Tags: rudeness, the legend of zelda, video games
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Ha, Link can’t get no respect! I’m currently playing through Ocarina of Time (on the bee-yoo-tee-ful 3DS I got for Xmas) and I am now going to note with glee the different treatment he gets when he’s all growed up vs. when he is a little wee boy.
Alllll the ladies, in particular. And many of the dudes. (Except Zelda and Malon, they’re too busy doing their own thing, running the world, etc.)
I haven’t played it since the late 90s, so I remember the general story outline but very few details. I did watch, with glee, as someone I follow on Tumblr (who was not even a zygote in the late 90s) was posting about playing through Ocarina of Time for the first time, and was wondering who this mysterious Sheik could really be??? followed by a post about ARGH WELL NOW I FEEL LIKE A DOPE. Haha, youths.
Zelda games: bridging generational gaps since 1987 (or 1986, if you were in Japan at the time).
And, for my fellow Olds who were into Zelda back in the day: the wonderful comic from Nintendo Power is being reprinted!!!
OMGOMGOMG Nintendo comics were THE BEST or perhaps this is my inner child’s visceral reaction but I am elated all the same.
90% from Ocarina of Time, as is right and true and good.
Now all I can think about is how thoroughly the player destroys Mido’s entire world, worldview and soul.
Tetra from Wind Waker is the best because she continues to be unimpressed with not only Link but with all of her male pirate underlings for the entire game until the EXTREMELY GALLING part where they go to underwater Hyrule and the boat turns back into a king and tells Tetra she’s actually Princess Zelda and makes her put on a dress and hide in a sacred chamber for the rest of the game until she gets kidnapped by Ganon, but at least she gets to participate in the final battle.
She also gets ten times paler when she turns into Zelda, which is weird because the king of Hyrule is MUCH closer to Tetra in skin tone. Off-putting on so many levels.
I prefer to think that it’s a metaphor for the way that society’s oppressive gender roles (symbolized by the dress) destroy the agency of strong, capable women.
I love that, despite most of these quotes being from OoT, the picture is WW Link. Because WW Link is the Link with the least fucks to give. He is unimpressed with you.
Have you played Fable? It seemed the actors were letting their issues slip out from behind their roles.
The player character, who is a defined character but never gets a name or a voice and people run up to spray exposition at him in cutscenes which show him wearing an expression reading “Well…if you say so.” There’s a girl who’s supposed to be your rival who meets you before one mission and declares “So you’re going to choose this side? Well, I’m going to support the other side! How do you like that, huh!?” (He just looks at her in a way says “Er, knock yourself out?”)
Secondary characters almost invariably posture at him and declare some variation of “You don’t impress me much, farmboy!” I got the impression that they resented being supporting characters in his story instead of the star of their own, while our hero is just marking time until they’re finished talking, at one point visibly staring off into space, possibly thinking “When this crone stops prattling, I can go back to hitting things with my axe.”
I’m sure I was imagining the internal lives, but it seemed to there on the screen.
So rude.
Yeah. Jeez. Plus, there's that particular fan theory about what MM is actually about.
Haha I was originally gonna reply with "And dies." but I never had the extra thingamabob you needed to play MM as a kid and I haven't finished it in the Wii port so WHO AM I TO ARGUE CANON
Does it count that Epona straight ran away from him when she first met him??
I never registered before that sometimes shit Zelda NPCs say implies Link is actually speaking and imparting information, not just staring vacantly like the soulless grindr god of twinks that so profoundly hamstrung the heterosexuality of a generation I’ve always considered him to be. this is disturbing stuff.
“People underestimating Link is fab, because then you either kick their asses or you can break all their pots and steal their money.” — my Zelda loving best friend.
Does it count that Epona straight ran away from him when she first met him??
I imagine Mallory going through the game and carefully counting the number of vowels in the characters’ cries of outrage or disbelief.