This post is sponsored by Adam Kranz, a longtime reader of The Toast who is thrilled to support the site.
The Alameda County Fair, you guys. It’s around for another week. I strongly advise that you do not miss it.
I don’t think these pigs were actually from Alaska, but other than that I don’t have a single quibble. The little buddy in red had a tough time getting over the hurdle! But don’t worry, he gets there, in his own good time. In his own good time, and they all end up together at the trough, and this week isn’t going to be so bad, you know. You’re going to make it from beginning to end intact.
Tags: animals, piglet racing, videos that i took on my phone
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All the piglets did a great job and should be really proud of themselves.
I love county fair pig races SO MUCH. We have the Swifty Swine ones down here in San Diego where the lil piglets race for an Oreo and have names like Kevin Bacon and Brad Pig and Lindsay Loham. It’s delightful.
SWIFTY SWINE aaaaaah I’m in love!!!
I really feel a certain kinship with red-jersey pig.
I thought the red-jersey pig was quite clever, trying to find an alternate route around the last hurdle.
“Jumping? Fuck that shit, I don’t jump. This is stupid.”
#JeSuisRedJerseyPig
D’accord
the red jersey pig is me.
Aw! We were there on Friday and the tiny pig races are always a favorite!
This makes me happy.
As somebody who once padded a segment on the county fair for the local cable access station during a summer internship with a lengthy scene of pig-racing, I approve of this post.
I went to a pig race at a local festival as a kid and got chosen to “release” one of the pigs (hold onto the wiggling baby and let him go when the whistle sounded). I was very confused as to why I was instructed to shout “Sewage!” at him and later my mom explained that I misheard “Souiee” (what does that even mean?). Maybe that’s why my little green-bandanad pig lost the race. But I got to feed him oreoes so we all won.
No idea what souiee means, but I know through osmosis that it is the correct way to call a pig. What is pig calling? I don’t know, but I know how to do it.
Well, the scientific name for the pig family is Suidae, which is related to “sow” and “swine” and apparently has cognates in a whole passel of Indo-European languages. So basically it’s “Piiiiiiiigggg!” except better suited to being yodeled loudly over long distances.
Oh, thank you for this. Today is a tough day at work — my wonderful boss is retiring, and I just made a ridiculous fool of myself crying in his office telling him goodbye — so this is pretty much exactly what I needed.
This is the kind of quality programming I expect from this website.
Oooo, and this is the kind of quality gif I expect from the comments on this website.
Alaska toasties, have any of you seen these guys in-state? Is it possible they hail from the Greatland? I want desperately to go on a quest to see them in person!
AHHH NO WAY THEY ARE BASED IN FAIRBANKS!
They were staples at the State Fair in Palmer when I was a kid.
Just so you all know, All-Alaskan Racing Pigs is hiring! You can travel the country hanging out with these pigs! From their website:
Announcer: The golden voice of the All-Alaskan Racing Pigs. We provide the initial script and work with you to customize your show. Announcing experience not necessary, but performing experience of some type is helpful. Mostly we are looking for good attitude.
Handler: The elite pig wranglers of the world. Primary care-giver for the racing pigs and stage director during the show. Experience with animals helpful but not essential. These lovable little guys are easy to care for and deserve lots of TLC. We can teach you everything you need to know.
That’s it. I’m throwing it all away to be a pig racing announcer. It’ll be tough to leave the world of researching historical puns behind, but in the end I think it’s for the best.
You know, this really would be an excellent opportunity to actually become a goldmine of historical puns for future researchers who specialize in country fair pig racing. What better legacy could one hope for?
None better. None.
I am totally down with the last piglet – he knows his only future is cutlets, whether he wins or not.
Ahhhhh! Pigs are the best. I googled the All-Alaskan Racing Pigs (!) and this adorable face greeted me on their site:
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
that is a nose crying (oinking?) out for someone to boop
I volunteer
Pig noses of all sizes are made for booping because they are, like, semi-prehensile, or something. It’s a funny sensation. (Consider yourselves invited over for pig nose booping anytime.)
so, uh, how did the conversation about sponsoring this post go?
“I’ll sponsor a post but ONLY if it’s about racing pigs.” “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”
Sometimes you just get lucky with these things. 🙂
Mallory how did you know this was the exact thing I needed to watch today
I saw pig racing once at the Land of Little Horses, which is exactly what it says on the tin. They were all named after Disney Princesses and we got to root for Porkahontas.
This is within reasonable driving distance of us and I am trying to convince my husband that we need to take our daughter. Because tiny horses. Maybe if I explain about the pig races it will sway him?
(I dunno if the kid has any interest in horses but dammit *I* wanna go, come on man!)
Seattle & adjacent areas Toasties- these guys are also regulars at the Evergreen State Fair (or at least they’ve been there every year I’ve gone in recent years). If you pick your weekend correctly, you can get Clydsedale team driving competitions, 4h goat & alpaca obstacle training course competitions, and pig racing all in one day at the fair. Plus rabbit exhibits.Basically everything awesome, in one day.
Pig hoooooey!
THE GREAT HAMBONI
Okay, this is adorable, and also: my sister bought some baby goats to give to my dad for Father’s Day, and someone stole them from her porch, and it was on the news, and you can see the video of he baby goats wandering around her office, and also my 1st-grade niece’s heartbreaking explanation of the flyer she made looking for their return.
(The goats, clearly, are never coming home. Or to Dad’s retirement ranch-compound-thing.) http://abc13.com/pets/homeowner-searching-for-mis…
Oh that is so sad!! Your poor sister and niece!
Oh no! What kind of jackass steals a baby goat??
Aww, thank you Mallory. What a great message with a great video.
A couple friends outright refused to watch this video.
I don’t think they are my friends any more.