Twelve years ago, National Treasure was released. It is that movie where Nicholas Cage steals the Declaration of Independence, and it’s perfect. I own the DVD even though DVDs aren’t very useful now, and I have seen it upwards of fifteen times. Nine years ago, National Treasure 2 was released. It was good, not great, but it contained seeds of greatness (“Eventually, they find the city of solid gold beneath Mount Rushmore and are all reunited”), and it really made me want to see National Treasure 3, mostly to hear more about the secret book all presidents get to read.
I don’t want to talk about Nicholas Cage’s offscreen persona, or even that really great version of him Andy Samberg used to do on Weekend Update. I want to talk about why I’ve had to live almost a full decade without another installment in the National Treasure series.
Justin Bartha is very charming in those movies. It makes me happy to imagine the Liberty Bell is full of gold and puzzles. It makes me feel like getting a sticker in the library’s summer reading program, or like how a moderately intelligent dog feels after it completes an agility course: happy and fulfilled. National Treasure 2 made almost four times its budget at the box office. Where is the sequel. Someone should be working on this. There should be at least as many National Treasure movies as there are Fast and Furious movies because I love having riddles explained to me. Once or twice a year my National Treasure google alert goes off but it’s only ever because of articles like this one where the headline is just something like “National Treasure 3 Might Still Happen But There Is No News Yet.” There’s an empty IMDB page already set up, but there’s no concrete information on it yet. I want a movie where the Knights of Columbus and the Shriners team up with D.B. Cooper to find the Mary Celeste, and I want it soon. Thank you for your time.
WHAT IS ON PAGE 47???? This has been KILLING me for 9 years.
No but seriously, where is it? Also, The Rock 2, and Con-Air 2. There have been 8!!! Fast and the very super Furious “films” made in the last 15 years, so where my Cage franchises at???
Oh, The Rock. I watched that approximately eleventy-billion times in college while getting a degree in Chemistry. . . may have explained my unreasonable obsession with that movie. “I’m a chemical superfreak, actually.”
Damn STRAIGHT. Con-Air was a delight of absurdity and impossibility having a whole litter of babies that they turned loose on the furniture! How can you not sequel it???
One year my friends and I decided to watch National Treasure on New Years Eve because obviously but it wasn’t on Netflix (what kind of crime) so we had to download it from some slightly sketchy place. It ended up having subtitles in some Scandinavian language in which Declaration of Independence is all one word that takes up the entire width of the screen and its amazing. After we watched we went back and paused on that shot and took a bunch of pictures around it and it was the best New Years of all.
and you haven’t posted one for us here why, exactly?
i really hope this works…..
evidently not, trying again.
there we go!
I am replete
Do…do I spy a Homestuck shirt in that photo
If yes, I am delighted.
“It makes me feel like getting a sticker in the library’s summer reading program,”
^^^THIS. this explains so much about my adolescent love for the first movie.
I agree, that phrase is *exactly* the way it feels.
Plus, more Diane Kruger
I was SO DARN HAPPY they kept them together in the sequel. Usually there’s a new girl for no good reason and her character was perfect.
I’d take a National Treasure 3 without Nicholas Cage for no apparent reason if it meant Diane Kruger was the protagonist.
And the reason they broke up at the beginning was that Nicholas Cage’s character was impossible to live with, which is refreshingly direct and true.
I see your Inglourious Basterds gif and raise you.
That woman is magic.
I am a librarian with training in special collections and archives so people always expect me to hate National Treasure. I LOVE IT. I love it with all my heart. I once screened it for a fellow rare book librarian after she’d had a particularly nasty break-up and the mistreatment of archival materials took her mind off of everything else. National Treasure will always be precious to me and WE NEED NATIONAL TREASURE 3.
The whole point of the movie is that all these old things are still important and relevant and have things to teach us! The plot of the movie is that archives are important!
Exactly! I mean, we don’t generally let people apply lemon juice to the historical documents. BUT STILL.
Oh man, I am a historian-turned-librarian and IT’S THE BEST?? THE BEST MOVIE EVER??? People always expect the same of me, and it is wrong.
Never was a film series more aptly named.
one upvote on the page, 100 upvotes in my heart
When the first one came out I was flipping through the newspaper and my eyes read the ad for this movie as a legit news story titled “Nicholas Cage: National Treasure”. My brain did not question it for one second.
I am on board with any film involving ghost ships.
National Treasure is either the best smart dumb or dumb smart movie ever, and I still maintain that they should film Part 3 in my hometown of Boston, because come on, they totally snubbed us for New York in the first one.
My mother is from Philly and she, too, feels snubbed by New York even though an enormous chunk of the movie takes place in Philly. (I went to school in Boston and I think Boston totally got shafted there at the end.)
I want this movie so bad. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ARCHIVES PROMOTION TIE INS I WOULD DO?
SO MANY.
1. National Treasure holds up really well.
2. The only thing that doesn’t hold up as an adult is the romantic relationship- it comes out of nowhere and he clearly belongs with Riley.
3. When re-watching National Treasure, I realized that a lot of the things that I thought were common knowledge because they were taught in all history classes about the American revolution are actually just facts that I learned from watching National Treasure
4. When I was 11 my mom, my sister, and my cousin did a two week RV trip around Arizona. National Treasure and A Series of Unfortunate Events were the only movies we had with us. We watched National Treasure at least 15 times in that week alone
5. National Treasure is a gift. I can only imagine that we have not yet earned the right to National Treasure 3.
Is “watching National Treasure on your middle/high school field trip to DC and having teachers sternly tell you not to steal the Declaration of Independence” still a universal rite of passage for American students?
Or was that just our bus? That can’t have just been our bus.
No, we did that too, except re: documents in Ottawa and the joke still holds up, trust me.
One can’t just sit on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial without quoting the entire “It’s like stealing a national monutment . . .it’s like stealing HIM” scene.
National Treasure, The Goonies, and Sneakers would make a great triple feature.
SNEAKERS! I well and truly adore that movie.
Passport!
We also need National Treasure 3 because I don’t have nearly enough National Treasure gifs and images to use in my Secrets of the Library powerpoint and emails
I am honestly so glad someone is talking about this. This is very important to me for several reasons, not least because Diane Kruger/Helen Mirren in those movies may or may not have planted the seed in my tiny preteen brain that I should maybe be a historian when I grow up. Helen Mirren’s office is SO NICE and SHE SCARES ALL HER STUDENTS W HER CUTTING AND ALOOF CRITICISM (presumably).
It also made me VERY resentful of Mount Rushmore because in the movie someone breathlessly says “Mount Rushmore was a cover-up?” (of an indigenous landmark) and I still vaguely think of it as a sort of defacement to this day. Basically this movie was v formative also taught me and my brother a bunch of probably nonsensical facts we repeat to this day. Eg. the origin of the phrase “his name is mud.”
Isn’t it totally a defacement, though? First the Lakota were promised the Black Hills in perpetuity. Which I guess was promptly rescinded when they found gold there. And then now Mt Rushmore has four white dudes carved into it on sacred Sioux land that was taken away from them twice. And it’s not like the Sioux are thriving these days either, unfortunately 🙁
I had read all the new Toast material today in an effort to distract myself from my impending deadline. I came back here in the forlorn hope that there would be something I hadn’t seen. And then this wonder appeared. This is my heart’s song. Whenever Nicolas Cage starts talking and the music comes in behind him my little soul fills with joy. I once wrote an entire essay on how the declaration of independence granted not only rights but responsibilities without realising that this belief stems entirely from National Treasure. The world deserves another National Treasure
Maybe National Treasure is too America-specific to be profitable internationally, a problem the Fast and Furious franchise doesn’t have?
idk if this counts but I’m Canadian and I love this movie. As does my equally-Canadian sister. But China is supposedly big in the box office these days, maybe the movie people think it wouldn’t be popular there?
Guys, they could v well pull a Sex and the City movie/Cheetah Girls movie/third example and have the next one be *international* – and we will be saddled/blessed w something incredibly Orientalist & offensive. And despite that, I will see that movie in theatres, I tell you.
I went to this panel of women in the entertainment industry last week and learned that the international market is like, more than twice the domestic market now, which is why there’s so many big CGI action sequels, because rom-coms are too subtle/culturally specific. (When people make rom-coms now, they are made by the film industries of Korea or China or Japan specifically.) National Treasure is a big dumb action movie which should meet those standards, but I suppose a 3rd-grade level knowledge of US history and presidents is important to understanding the story?
As a Canadian with less US history knowledge than the average American 3rd grader, I’d say it’s not all that important. A lot of the movie is about the exposition, and they tend to give Nicolas Cage a bunch of smart-guy-speeches where he explains everything to his companions. For all I know, he could be spouting 100% make-believe all the time in those speeches, and I wouldn’t know or care. (You mean there really /was/ a guy named John Hancock? What?)
True! Although, it did still make a sizable profit? Who knows. I do not claim to understand the minds of Hollywood big wigs.
“It makes me feel like getting a sticker in the library’s summer reading program”
This is incredibly specific but oh, what a feeling! Was there anything better than smugly handing over my reading list for a sticker, for a pencil with the sparkly metallic paint that chipped off on your hands, for a paper voucher good for a free ride on the zoo’s carousel?
You’ve all seen The Librarian, right? Similar sort of quest, MUCH cheesier. I absolutely adore it.
I should clarify: The Librarian: Quest for the Spear.
YES.
Not to mention two sequels and now a TV show! So adorable. So very very adorable.
*checks public library for DVDs* Well, I know what my plans are tonight.
I still think DVDs are useful, at least in my apartment, where the Internet is slow, and also for films that streaming services don’t feel like making available right now for whatever reason.
See: One Fine Day, which doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere. Am I the only one who is obsessed with how perfect Michelle Pfeiffer’s hair is in that movie, plus Clooney at his Clooniest, and Mae Whitman?
I don’t get how she’s wearing her son’s tee shirt! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE, HE’S SIX, HER HEAD WOULD NOT FIT THROUGH THE HEAD HOLE.
Also, too, streaming services don’t give me DVD extras, which is 40% of the experience for me.
Oh my word, I feel like I’ve found my long lost family! I LOVE this movie and the sequel and would be delighted if they kept making more and more of them. I never meet people in person who share my affection for this gem of a film franchise. But you’re here! You’re all here! My heart is full!
Never has it been more clear that Toasties are my people.
I want a third installment, and I want it to be filmed in Boston so I can be an extra.
They could do sequels for years. There are so many Gates ancestors to vindicate!
-Caesar Rodney Gates: stumbled upon a second Baseball Hall of Fame deep in the Sonora Desert.
-Arnold Catiline Gates: stockpiled trillions of tan M&Ms in the Aleutian Islands for use in the nation’s hour of greatest need.
-Thomas If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Gates: discovered the fabulous Witch Hoard of Olde New England, but was betrayed and silenced by Cotton Mather (secret witch).
-Cheryl Gates McFadden: never really found the right follow-up project after TNG ended.
A Masonic friend of mine told me there was a treatment for National Treasure 3 involving Washington’s Bible, which is a real Masonic Relic thing that you can apparently donate to preserve.
It must be preserved! It has secret hidden messages meant for the Two Witnesses of the book of Revelations, who are destined to save America from the forces of evil, like the Headless Horseman, who is also Death.
*weeps for the squandered glory of Sleepy Hollow*
What if National Treasure 3 were a Sleepy Hollow crossover? *holds breath until she passes out*
I was coming here to say exactly this. Bonus points if it also crosses over with Bones.
(I feel very funny about the knowledge that David Boreanaz has been in Bones for longer than he was in Buffy/Angel)
National Treasure was the movie my husband and I saw as our first ever Valentine’s Day date. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, even if I didn’t think it was fantastic on its own.
My crush on Riley Poole is eternal, evergreen.
Riley is the true treasure
For years – TOO MANY YEARS – I have lugged my love of National Treasure around with me like a dirty little secret (although not that secret as every time it has been shown on telly I have exclaimed to everyone in a fifteen mile radius that it’s my favourite film ever, but…..still) and now here the Toasties are, validating my love and therefore also all my other dubious life choices. Huzzah!
Also, as a Brit, these films are the source of literally all of my American History knowledge. That class I took at uni taught me nothing compared to Gates and the delectable Riley. Fact.
I am right there with you. British, literally anything I might know about your forefathers, I know because of National Treasure.
OK BUT what if Mallory wrote NT3?????
I got excited because I'm Danish, but alas, the Swedes have it again. Swedes…
Y’all. Y’ALL. I had somehow never seen this movie? I just finished my first watch through and I don’t want to spoil anything (I mean, I DO SO MUCH, but I’ll refrain), but it is just delightful. A++ would watch again (and will), so thank you so much Mallory and Toasties!
On the one hand, I enjoyed National Treasure.
On the other hand, as a historian I feel about National Treasure what I imagine archaeologists feel about Indiana Jones.
I have had some pretty exciting moments as a historian, but none of them involved being chased by bad guys, stealing manuscripts, or otherwise engaging in activities involving physical danger.
Basically, if they ever made a movie about my life, all of my historical work would be condensed to a 90 second montage showing me rifling around papers in an opulent English library. I haven’t not yet decided what music would accompany said montage, but suggestions are welcome.
The Sound of Silence – Simon & Garfunkel.
YESSSSSSSSSSS. I love the first two National Treasure movies in a guilty pleasure kind of way. The best part for me is that my husband gets the biggest kick out of anything ridiculous and watching him watch these movies is a treat. We need the third one post haste! What’s it going to take to get this thing done? A letter writing campaign? To whom?! A Kickstarter? I say we put our collective Toastie powers together and brainstorm this thing.
Oh my gosh, I need a third. And a fourth, that could be a play on the word “forefathers” somehow? Yes? Yes. I have NO KNOWLEDGE of American anything, really. Being a British Girl, in Britain. And I still love them both!!!!
I work at Trinity Wall Street and earlier this year we screened the film in the church, gave a tour of our actual treasures and actual crypt, and spent the night in the chancel with 25 teenagers. I thought it was the best idea I’d ever had until I found out our facilities guys don’t spend the night in the church, because of the ghosts.