“What are YOU looking at? A dog in a reasonably-sized chair?”
Jason Kenney is such an embarrassment:
Conservative MP Jason Kenney went on Twitter to explain why he shouted in question period that he needed an “English to English translation” to understand Defence Minister Harjit Sajjan.
Kenney, a former minister of defence, directed the heckle Monday at Sajjan as he was answering a question about the government’s plan to deal with the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS).
Scandal going down at The Intercept:
Shortly before Reed’s post, The Intercept prepended lengthy editor’s notes to five of Thompson’s prior articles. Four of the notes amount to severe corrections; the fifth, attached to an article containing quotes attributed to a cousin of the white supremacist Dylann Roof, indicates a total retraction: “After speaking with two members of Dylann Roof’s family, The Intercept can no longer stand by the premise of this story. Both individuals said that they do not know of a cousin named Scott Roof.”
In the now-retracted article, Thompson had claimed that “Scott Roof” had speculated during a phone conversation that Dylann Roof may been driven to murder nine black churchgoers at a Charleston, South Carolina church because “he kind of went over the edge when a girl he liked starting dating a black guy two years back.” Thompson’s report was picked up by dozens of other news outlets.
Omar Holmon is one of the funniest writers working, but he can also make me cry:
It’s only in hindsight, years later, that I suddenly realized something about my mother that I wish I could have said to her back then. If I had a time machine I would mos def go back in time just to tell her, “Yo, you know you’re a huge nerd right? You know that?” For real man, this woman was getting on my case about not stepping outside of my whole comic-book world but asking me when the next super hero movies are out. I went with her to see Spawn, yo. Twice. The frustrating part is that she’s dead, so I can’t even call her up with this new-found realization and I don’t feel like going to the rooftop of my building to reenact R.Kelly’s “I Wish” music video and talk to the sky because it’s dead winter right now. Also she’d just have Mufasa keep me on hold just to avoid me being right. This is like when you finally have a good comeback for for somebody’s comment but it’s literally years later and they’re no longer physically on this plane.
lies:
Here’s proof that certain questions are best left unanswered: Curious if the bubbles in her beloved LaCroix and San Pellegrino were as tooth-decaying as sugary sodas, Atlantic health writer Olga Khazan did some research that she certainly now regrets. Her findings in a nutshell: Slowly but surely, an acid created by the carbonation will “wear away tooth enamel.”
“I read Heathers and for the first time ever I thought, ‘I’ve got to play this,’” Ryder told British magazine The Face in 1989. “It wasn’t a question of wanting to or thinking I should, it was a case of nobody understands this like I do.” She had gotten the script from Beetlejuice’s screenwriter, but her agent had begged her not to do it. She didn’t listen. Producer Denise Di Novi remembered the actress sitting in her office at New World (with her mom) saying, “I’ll do the script just for $1. I’ll do anything, I don’t care how much you pay me.” But even though Waters thought she was a “great actress,” he didn’t think she was “attractive enough.” It wasn’t the first time Ryder, whose first four characters were described as “homely,” had heard that.
So she popped into Macy’s, got a makeover and, according to Waters, “She threatened to kill herself or us if she didn’t get the part.”
Not long ago, ICU stays beyond a few days meant almost certain death. Today, physicians can restore those ailing bodies, and many such patients live to walk out the door. But with a new population of ICU survivors reporting back, a common, devastating side effect has emerged: the experience plunges the ill into a cognitively impaired state of mind that can persist for months or forever.
Of course, doctors have known for years that the ICU triggers a disrupted mental state. In the 1960s, ICU delirium was labelled ‘The Disease of Medical Progress’ – with memory loss deemed a fair price for life. But recent studies have shown that the effect is widespread, and often permanent.
How Chris Jackson is building a black literary movement (he is not the Chris Jackson from Hamilton, he is a cool editor, manage your expectations):
‘‘The whole time,’’ he said, ‘‘I was just waiting for, you know, it to happen. And, sure enough, a very sweet-looking white woman walks up to me, very politely, and says, ‘Mr. Coates?’ Which is a thing that has happened to me more times than I can count. I’ve been mistaken for Colson Whitehead — who has long dreads — Dinaw Mengestu, Ta-Nehisi a few times, you name it. Sometimes by colleagues I see every day in the elevator, or even people who claim to know the writer in question. Anyway, I guess the woman was embarrassed, and so, of course, was I, but she still went ahead with what she’d been planning to do with Ta-Nehisi: unload all this terrible racial guilt. What am I supposed to do with that? Ta-Nehisi hears that stuff all the time. It’s just — ’’ He paused for a moment. ‘‘It’s exhausting.’’
The McSweeney’s Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face list is a little touch of perfection for a grey day.
That Is Not What I Meant At All; That Is Not It, At All face, aka J. Alfred Prufrock face
I prefer Like a Patient Etherized Upon a Table face
Daring to Eat a Peach face
This Is Just to Say face
“I Would Prefer Not To Face.”
I reference Bartleby in my daily life more than I would have expected to whilst reading it the first time, so this…speaks to me.
Bartleby is my Office Hero
The “I Would Prefer Not To Face” is my default expression.
“Kenney also previously served as minister for multiculturalism”
excellent trolling, Canada
“Does sparkling water cause tooth decay?”
I can’t hear you over the sound of my delicious sparkling water.
Nope! It’s perfect and beautiful! La La La La La La
You’ll take my La Croix from my cold, dead hands.
God bless you for the deployment of this gif, which has never seen a more perfect context.
What I’m getting from this is that I may as well stick to ginger ale and tonic water as the old choppers are going to go, no matter what I do.
(I gave up when I learned that all the things that are quite good for the rest of you, like oranges, tomatoes and coffee, are bad for your tooth enamel. With any luck, by the time the sitch is dire, we’ll be able to fix it with SCIENCE!)
Everything is somehow terrible for you, so I just spend all day shooting heroin into my eyeballs.
I’ve heard good things about lasers.
Laser teeth, laser teeth,
All lit up like a Christmas wreath
Stem cell-grown teeth! They’re already working on them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2641825…
I’m just planning to steal some teeth from a baby
my teeth already seem fucked from years of coffee/soda/cigarettes/not-the-greatest-brushing-habits, but luckily I have good tooth genetics. I recently switched to La Croix instead of diet soda as my house beverage, though, and was feeling reeeeally good about that choice. So thanks a lot, universe : /
coffee, cigarettes, and la croix = a life worth living. we’re all going to die someday anyway.
ahhh thank you, I feel absolved!
But it’s not as acidic as, say, lemonade or orange juice. I guess people drink more carbonated water than either of those drinks? Asking because I rarely drink carbonated water and just, you know, am curious. How much carbonated water in a normal day?
No, it is just as acidic as orange juice, if it’s got a flavor in it. My husband will drink four or five cans a day if allowed, and my toddler can polish off a couple.
Your toddler is getting a whole new set of teeth though, so they can do whatever they want to this set, right?
Surely that is how it works!
But-but– what if there’s no flavor? I love just plain club soda. I could go just look at the link but I’m scared that the verdict is not in my favor, because I already have major tooth sensitivity and LALALALA CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BUBBLES
Somewhat acidic with no flavor. Rather quite acidic with flavor. Rinse your mouth with still water after you drink your fizzy drinks!
My husband apparently goes through like 2.5 gallons a week, as I learned when I read this story out loud to him. The man has literally converted his homebrewing keg system into a carbonated water dispenser. Head-to-head, the bubble water is probably better than beer for overall health, at least…
I have a thing that carbonates water, which constitutes almost all of the water/almost all of the fluids I drink in a day, so – like three liters?
Carbonation causes tooth decay. Doesn’t matter what the substance is.
cool take thanks for the info
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS SWISH WITH REGULAR WATER AFTER. *starts rocking in the corner*
This is what I’m hoping for. Between the amount of water I drink and the fact that I chew gum, I’m SURELY getting all the corrosive crap off my teeth. Right? RIGHT?
I brush, floss and use fucking Listerine Total Care twice every GODDAMN day I will drink seltzer WHENEVER I WANT YOU MONSTER.
f/u: I’ve been drinking those giant things of sparkling mineral water from Whole Foods and they are DELIGHTFUL. The mint is so refreshing! I drink some in the mornings now with a squeeze of lemon and it really peps me up.
I don’t know why but I’m apparently hyper emotional today because reading about Meimei being left in the park has reduced me to a puddle of tears.
It filled me with rage. FU monster people.
Same same
I would adopt the hell out of that dog, but it’s unclear where it happened!
I know! I was looking for a location too.
The website seems to be for a shelter/rescue org in Northern California!
San Ramon, CA, with a small group in Sacramento.
I instantly created a backstory for them where they are just The Worst; they got a Shibu because they thought they were cute on the internet, but they didn’t really love him and are far to selfishly wrapped up in their own problems to love him enough.
I’m so happy I’m not the only one who does that.
(the backstory I concocted for my cats, who were wary of men in the beginning and kept their eye on anyone with a male voice, is that they used to belong to a lady who loved them but who was married to an asshole who treated them badly, and that he got rid of them when she died/left him (the second possibility is slightly more hopeful))
ETA: they have (alas?) since been cured of their misandry because the boy spoils them shamelessly.
We got two of my cats as kittens so their backstory is “you were born then I showed up!” but I am constantly creating a past for the Maine Coon mix we found under our porch. Particularly why she showed up litter trained and full of trust for people despite clearly having been outside and unattended for a sizable while.
I swear I am not as hippy as this makes me sound, but for my cat that I got as a kitten, sometimes I think about his mom, and wish that she could know how loved her kitten is, and I try to send out vibes to her that at least one of her babies is safe and comfortable and loved.
My dog had puppies before she and a bunch of other dogs were taken in by the rescue group, and I absolutely do the reverse version of that.
I foraged my cats as kittens from a nearby office building and got their feral mom & family fixed. When I brought my babies home they were so clean and healthy I had to go back and reassure their mama that I was keeping that up and thanking her for being such a good kitten mama.
OK, now *I’m* tearing up
I’m pretty sure that our cats’ moms didn’t get out of middle school before having kittens all over town. The Philadelphia cat school system has a lot of problems.
When I was a kid we had a dog whose arrival necessitated the creation of a backstory… not because it was sad, but because it was just so strange we couldn’t help but wonder.
We lived in the country, on a little hilltop in the middle of 6 acres. We had neighbors, but none closer than a thousand yards. One morning we were leaving to walk down the lane to the school bus stop when my brother and noticed movement in the front seat of the family car. The window was half down, and all of a sudden a furry black head poked inquisitively out at us. We were a little startled, but the dog seemed friendly and calm, so we went inside and got our parents. The dog appeared to be a lab/rottweiler mix, black with brown eyebrows, friendly, happy, eager to please. No collar or tags, and this was before microchipping was invented. It boiled down to this: either we call animal control and there was a better than even chance the dog would be put down (rottweiler mixes were the scary dogs of the late 80’s, and chances of being adopted were slim), or we had a new dog. So, we had a new dog.
We never found out how he got there, but every possible explanation seemed stranger than the last. Did someone drive all the way up our lane out in the country just to surreptitiously leave a young dog in our car’s front seat? Did the dog wander as a stray across our field, and climb into the half-open car window to get a comfortable place to sleep out of the cold? None of us could be certain. All we knew is he seemed to be happy with us, so we kept him. He was not the smartest dog… by a long shot… but he was friendly and patient with the younger kids.
We named him Otto.
That’s an amazing story. And a great dog name!
thanks… he seemed fond of cars, so the pun fit! 🙂
What a sweet story. I’m so glad you kept him.
We have lots of made-up backstories for my second dog, who had no history or information attached when we got her at the pound. Our first dog’s first owners got her from a breeder as a puppy, then dropped her off at the pound because “she played too rough with their one-year old baby.” She’s a husky-GSD mix. And was two or three months old. It still makes me sputter with rage, even though it meant we got the best dog in the universe.
My dog LOVES men (or possibly just deep voices and the smell of testosterone) to the point where it’s undignified. So the backstory I created for her is that she was raised for nine years by a kindly old Spanish man who taught her to love and trust people and when he went into an old folk’s home or died, his asshole family put her on the street during Alicante’s firework season. At least, that fits with the timing of when and how she was found, her strong disapproval of fireworks, and her core belief that snuggling with humans is the best thing ever.
Sometimes when she is politely asking for belly rubs or doing some serious snuggling, I tell her that somebody must have loved her very much before she came to live with me. And I hope that is true.
Our family got a dog when another family on the block kept letting their dog run free, in the suburbs near a busy street, hoping he wouldn’t come back, he always did. The final straw was when they set him free during major floods. My mom brought him home and left a note on their door saying that we were happy to take him in if he wasn’t wanted otherwise they could come and get him. They never came to get him.
God, that’s so sad. Thank God for your mom.
I firmly believe they should have been named and shamed.
WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT
i’ve spent the last several days in a quantam state of “period tears/rage or winter depression tears/rage?” I should not read that link, but I know I will. I’ve met me.
If anyone is in the mood to have a good cry and then donate to their local shelter while they pet their rescue animal, this’ll do the trick: https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/comments/3gvb0l/ven…
Fantastic suggestion!
Oh god I needed more warning with that.
They just left her! And didn’t want her back when animal control called! Did they even have the decency to feel bad or be apologetic?
brb setting everything on fire
It makes me want to adopt her and then drive across the country to get her even though it would be terrifically inconvenient.
I spent the morning with shelter pups, several of whom were super loving and affectionate, and then I read about Meimei, and now my heart os broken.
(I generally just have complete cognitive dissonance about the shelter pups and where they came from, because dealing with the fact that while some of them were responsibly given up because there was no other recourse, I know that’s not true for all of them and it can be a bit too much.)
“How Chris Jackson is building a black literary movement”
I read “A Brief History of Seven Killings” and it wasn’t, nor was it really to my liking, but there were moments, pages even, that utterly captivated me and then I read that Marlon James was working on an African “Game of Thrones” and I told my personal assistant (who is also my cat, Jasper), “Listen — you get me a copy of those books and you get them for me NOW.”
So — when he gets them for me, I’ll report back.
I have the same thing. I had a hard time getting through Seven Killings, but there were great bits in there, and I’m curious what he can do in fantasy.
Without spoiling, the two separate scenes, with [redacted] and [redacted], where in one, [redacted] is [redacted] alive and you get that whooooole nightmare narrated from his first-person point of view, and then the second scene, where [redacted] is caught by a group of hooded [redacteds] and then [redacted]: what I’m saying is, those were INCREDIBLY powerful and terrifying. But then there were loooooooooo[con’t]
[con’t]oooooooooooong stretches where I either could not find any narrative thread to cling to or it was just that American guy being awful or the one female character who just bummed me out and so it wasn’t my favorite reading experience at all.
The one female character also bummed me out. And I was annoyed there weren’t more, especially to counterbalance the misogyny of many of the men who’s POV we DID get. I mean, what does Papa-Lo’s wife think of all this? I want to know!
This is what I wrote in the margin of “BHo7K”: “She…’s going to do more than stand at this bus stop, waiting for Bob Marley, right? RIGHT?”
I really liked her, especially as a counterpart to the constant violence, misogyny and anger of the other narrators, and also as a more straightforward narrator among the stream of consciousness style pieces (which I always find hard to parse – hers were refreshingly easy to read in comparison). I was never sure though how we’re meant to understand why she did what she did, aside from “this is a reaction to the trauma of living in a violent environment.”
Oh my gosh, yes, re: straightforward narrators. I’m not proud of the fact that I can get confused easily by stream-of-consciousness, but, you know, there you have it. I’ve said it, and I own my power. So, as far as readability goes the book gets an A for her sections.
But I found the stuff that that character was given to do to be pretty…limited. Her motivations were: (1) “I need to [make love to] Bob Marley again and I will stand at this bus stop until I also put my safety at risk”; and then (b) “Boy am I terrified about all that stuff that happened with Bob Marley and do you think he still thinks about me? And also I have terrible taste in men in general.”
Also, side note: this book did NOT make me want to visit Jamaica at all any time ever.
I also loved Seven Killings but found it so, so difficult to read, but I am thrilled by the idea of a slowly but steadily growing swarm of cats scratching at James’s editor’s door. [scratch at door] “meow?” “Not yet, guys, we’re still working on it.” “Meeewww.” “I know, I know, tell your people it’s coming.”
[my cat’s thinking] “If this works with food, it’s gotta work with books.”
I feel like that’s gotta be the worst personal assistant ever.
I’m VERY much looking forward to his performance review.
purrformance review! [30 minutes of “who’s a good kitty? Is it you?”]
“Not only do you fail to perform the most basic aspects of the job, but somehow this has become an arrangement where *I* clean up after *you*. And your attitude is, quite frankly, shockingly bad.”
“But how can I stay mad at that face???? Who wants treats?”
I knew my happy bubble water was too good to be true.
Heathers is a national treasure, and the musical is fucking amazing and I’m always so sad to find out how many people have never seen it
It is! So much love for Heathers!
(I totally rocked vertical bangs and awesome shoulder pads!)
Heathers and Pump Up The Volume were the movies that I felt the most in tune with what school was actually like to me. I watched them both recently and I can enjoy the nostalgia of Pump Up The Volume but the plot doesn’t hold anymore because anyone and everyone can have their own podcast. Heathers, however, feels true as day.
Corn nuts!
When I was going through my childhood Winona obsession (as one does) I remember being obsessed with the image of her at the end, totally haggard, wrenching that Hair Bow of Power away from Heather and tying it in her own hair.
YES! I saw a gifset of that scene on Tumblr, before I saw the movie, and it utterly captivated me. Then I did watch the movie, and i could see why it was a cult classic, though I wish I had seen it when I was at the right age (and before school shootings were so rampant).
ETA: You might be interested in reading Tom & Lorenzo’s style analysis of the movie, which is what spurred me to look it up on Netflix.
You know, I’ve never discussed the film with someone who saw it for the first time post-Columbine and I’ve always wondered how that changes the text for someone. Columbine happened when I was in high school and I had already long-since seen Heathers several times by then, so my nostalgic feelings for the film are still deeply rooted in the pre-Columbine era.
Honestly, even if I had seen it in high school, it would’ve been post-Columbine. But I wasn’t really aware of Columbine happening — V Tech was the seismic event in my world, as I was in college too then. And at this point, so aware of school shootings and violence — I was pretty uncomfortable with serial killings, especially when he walks away to blow himself up.
I’m amazed you were allowed to see an R-rated movie several times even before high school! My upbringing was so locked down.
“Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral!”
My husband showed me Heathers for the first time less than a year ago, not long before I turned 30, and I became immediately OBSESSED! I thought about it constantly for weeks. I was such a goody goody teen that it would have been lost on me then (read: I would have hated it and been scandalized), that I’m really glad I didn’t know about it when I was in high school. So there’s that.
And then for my birthday said husband got me this tshirt and I cannot wait to have this baby so I can wear it again! https://www.etsy.com/listing/152827583/heathers-w…
You are all welcome in advance.
I don’t patronize bunny rabbits.
I just discovered the Heathers Musical last week (my friends have let me down) and its amazing. It has (temporarily) replaced Hamilton as my listening at work obsession.
There’s a musical of Heathers? How have I not heard of this?
I watched Heathers approximately a thousand times as a teen, and yet somehow have never been exposed to the musical. This must change.
I had a birthday party once that was just my friends and I eating ice cream and watching Heathers.
Jason Kenney is the WORST. Just the worst. If I ever meet him in person I may spit on him, he’s almost directly responsible for making immigration phenomenally more difficult and expensive than it needs to be. (I’m so close, guys! Literally days away from achieving permanent residency! I have been waiting YEARS.)
he’s so outwardly racist (remember his “people like Nenshi” remark, amongst countless others) it was a cruel joke when he was immigration minister – but that was Harper’s cabinet. We also had a minster for the status of women who was anti-choice, and a science minister who did not “believe” in climate change.
Trudeau & the liberals are far from perfect but oh god, it’s so much better.
The man appointed, as minister for science, a man (Stockewell Day) who had gone on record saying that he believed that humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time. Harper trolled us all for years.
UGH RONA!
My husband recently attempted to get an update on his citizenship application via the webform thingy on CIC’s website. He got a message saying that there was no update available because they had not yet begun processing his application.
He applied over two years ago.
Yup. Welcome to my life. (You may be able to get some help via your local MP. Mine was really helpful in tracking down more detailed information than the website or dealing with CIC directly.)
I did meet him! At an event for bf’s work, shortly after he became minister of defense. He came by, said hello to our table and called all the naval officers sir (apparently you only call people who outrank you sir/madam and minister of defense outranks just about everyone at this party) so after he moved on they were all laughing at him for not knowing the etiquette of the job. And also because he’s awful.
I wish I had magical powers because I would transport him instantly into outer space.
Good luck with the PR!! I was lucky and happened to get my application in back before they’d had time to fuck up the wait too badly, but I was looking at the CIC site about citizenship stuff around election time and just DDDD:
I do enjoy jasonkenney.org, though. (Background)
Congrats on almost being permanent! Sorry it’s been such an ordeal!
A good friend of mine married a Canadian and then emigrated (we’re Americans), and watching her go through the two years and thousands of dollars and reams of paperwork….and she married a citizen of Canada! She had a college degree and was in good health!
Try not only all of those things (marrying a Canadian, being in good health), and have not one but TWO degrees from Canadian universities, in Canadian history, and ten years of residence in Canada.
I still waited two years and spent thousands of dollars.
Aaaaugh that’s terrible.
And my friend couldn’t move up there until her residency was approved, because her husband is on disability and she had to be able to work. I can’t imagine spending most of two years away from my significant other like that. 🙁
You guys!! The opening number of Hamilton, LIVE from the theater, on our televisions!!! I think I just shed a tear of joy.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/tv/2016/02/03/…
“The ceremony, set to air live from Los Angeles’ Staples Center on Feb. 15, will feature a performance from the critically celebrated smash hit Hamilton, live from the Richard Rodgers Theatre in New York.
Says Lin-Manuel Miranda, the musical’s creator and star: ‘We’re going to do the opening number, scream with joy, and then celebrate the fact that we were just on the Grammys. Best night ever.'”
!!!!!!!!!! That’s so exciting!
Has there been any word on whether they’ll do a full recording of the original cast performance ever?
Not yet. Lin said something along the lines of “we want to film it” on Twitter a while back, but who knows. (Fingers crossed.) If I had to guess, I bet they might be setting their sights on a theatrical release of it and/or movie about 5 years down the road or something. I’m sure the producers want to make maximum buck out of the 3-4 productions first. (Broadway, Chicago, national tour – LA, SF, ATL, and more, London in a couple years)
That makes sense that they wouldn’t want to overlap a recording with the live tours. I just hope that when they do they can at least get Leslie Odom Jr. and Daveed Diggs back!
Yes! And RENEE.
And Phillipa!
OK, everyone.
I’m willing to wait for it.
wait for it wait for it
wait for it wait for it
I am the one thing in life I can controoooooool.
I AM INIMITABLE, I AM AN ORIGINALLLLL
EVERYTHING CROSSED.
My resolve gave out some months ago, and I ended up streaming about two-thirds of the soundtrack on Youtube. But I still hope it’ll be filmed at some point.
OG OMGOMG OMG OMG
This is such wonderful news, putting a note in my calendar!
I saw the show on Friday evening, wept with joy through the whole thing, and still cannot.get.enough. It’s like no other music makes sense anymore.
I have a reason to watch the Grammys!! wow.
Just today I realized that every time I think/ask “what time is it?” my brain helpfully replies “SHOWTIME!”
What have you doooooonnnne
I can’t have a dog right now in my life but look at her faaaaace
I came here to make this exact comment omgggg
You’re going to tell me that Chris Jackson is not The Father and then use a quote where he talks about “waiting for it”?
Girl, please.
Okay, I specifically asked my old dentist about sparkling water and she said it wasn’t acidic, and even at the time I suspected she was wrong but I let it go. Ugh, I drink so much of it and my teeth are so fragile to begin with…
So, I have super sensitive teeth and I started using Sensodyne (gentle whitening) and Listerine Total Care and my teeth feel so much stronger and I can drink really cold water without it hurting now!
Chris Jackson has written so many books I have read or plan to read. Two big ones on my list are Just Mercy and Ghettoside , which I wish I had time to read yesterday. The profile is so smart about the challenges of being an insider but still not quite accepted.
Just Mercy is so good. Also, Michael B. Jordan was cast as Bryan Stevenson for the movie, so I’m super excited for that.
YES! This is great news. I didn’t even know they were making a movie.
THERE’S GOING TO BE A MOVIE? Holy shit.
Love Just Mercy, and I heard Bryan Stevenson talk at an event awhile back and he is so fucking smart and on point about everything.
ugh I meant to say he has edited so many books. Of course he’s the editor not the writer.
Morning brain gah.
I just finished Ghettoside a few days ago, and it was FANTASTIC. 10/10, would recommend to anyone interested in criminology or sociology.
I am here to tell you that if you haven’t had a chance to see the `Featurette: Swatch Dogs and Diet Coke Heads` on the Heathers DVD, you should check it out. Shannen Doherty doesn`t seem to understand what the movie was even about.
“Was it sloppy? Yes? But I’m a cub reporter and expected a sustained and competent editor to guide me, something which I never had at your company and something with which The Intercept continues to struggle as everyone in this business knows.”
HOOO BOY. If I had been a kid that cheated in school what an amazing excuse this would have been if I ever got caught. “It’s your fault for not following me 24/7 breathing down my neck to make sure I didn’t cheat! You’re an incompetent teacher!”
I actually have a dusty old disused degree in journalism and I am 100% sure that this was never taught to me in my classes. We did, however, get docked a letter grade for any factual errors in our work, even a misspelling of a name. Maybe I went to the wrong school, and did too much work.
Hey, I got held accountable for that on my high school newspaper!
but nobody ever toooooold me just making shit up wasn’t a journalist’s job!
This is indeed a thing that students say.
Indeed, was coming here to say just this.
oh man Donald Trump trying to unskew the results in Iowa already.
“Ted Cruz didn’t win Iowa, he stole it. That is why all of the polls were so wrong and why he got far more votes than anticipated. Bad!”
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/694879…
I’m still waiting for the day we find out this Twitter account is a very elaborate fraud. Alas, this day will never come.
I would like to discover that his entire presidential campaign is a very elaborate fraud. (Preferably before the actual election.)
so basically the Ben Carson “campaign” strategery. Part of me legitimately feels bad for the Carson supporters who were basically scammed out of their money. Cause the Carson campaign does seem to be one big fraud.
But then I thought, “Wait, they voluntarily gave money to Ben Carson”, and then I stopped feeling bad for them at all.
Did you see that Ben Carson suspended his campaign because he “needed fresh clothes”? The weirdness of this crop of crazies continues…
…what?
OK, I just checked and I was wrong; he didn’t actually suspend his campaign, he left Iowa just after the Caucus “to get fresh clothes” in Florida rather than go to NH. The Washington Post went a little sensational with it. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/20…
Still, ?
Oh, okay! That is less weird but it is still weird. Someone ought to tell him the good news about one-hour dry cleaning.
Lol, he didn’t leave primary-land because he isn’t aware of laundering establishments. This is an excuse nearly on par with “hiking the Appalachian trail.”
Well, I was being silly, but on the other hand I have repeatedly been gobsmacked by things that Ben Carson turned out not to know or, worse yet, had strong, entirely wrong beliefs about. At this point I wouldn’t be too surprised if he thinks Martinizing is a process that has to do with Scientology.
Yes, that would be Martianizing.
Ugh, I really feel bad for the 25-year-old who died on icy roads in Iowa while campaigning for him. :/
Donald Trump is like a human Markov text generator. I’m pretty sure that if you made an _ebooks parody account, it would make more sense.
Though I doubt it’s true, I like the idea that he keeps thinking “Surely they’ll realise I’m mocking them after I say this“, but it never happens.
Trump has the emotional maturity of a high school freshman bully. It’s sad that that appeals to so many of our fellow citizens.
that’s pretty levelheaded when I assumed his response was gonna be to add a campaign plank to annex Iowa into Greater Nebraska
Sorry, can’t help it, now I’m picturing Cruz with a little bandit mask, tucking Iowa under his arm and sneaking away like a cartoon burglar.
“Robble robble robble”
Not sure anyone is still reading this thread, but did you see he is considering a lawsuit over this?!?
“But even though Waters thought she was a ‘great actress,’ he didn’t think she was ‘attractive enough.'”
If Winona Ryder isn’t attractive enough, what hope is there for the rest of us?
srsly who in their right mind calls her “homely”? I ask you.
Me. I never did see the appeal of both her and Johnny Depp. I was kinda sorta low-key furious about her playing Jo March, and the only things which redeem that movie were Claire Danes’s ugly cry (another gross miscast), Christian Bale’s Laurie, and Trini Alvarado’s Meg (Best Meg).
Fair enough, and I am with you on the subject of Johnny Depp.
I didn’t love her casting for a bunch of reasons, but in terms of her looks, having baby Kirsten Dunst quote verbatim the “Your one beauty!” line seemed pretty stupid as she stood there all big-eyed and high cheekboned.
Also, for some reason I adore Eric Stoltz as John Brooke in that version. I think just from his line delivery about the veil over the mysteries of female life.
Based on the whole “beauty = symmetry of facial features” theory she is one of the most stunning people out there. When I saw her in Black Swan a few years ago I was like, “Damn, Winona, how are you always so perfect?”
Oh man, I was in ICU for a few weeks and I can tell you it messed me the hell up for months. In combination with the stress and the medicines and everything. I called it my Swiss cheese brain- you could tell me something and ten seconds later it would be gone. I did eventually get back to normal, mentally, but I was also in my twenties so I imagine it was easier for my brain to bounce back on its own.
My grammy was the absolute sharpest tack in the box until she had a hip replacement and ended up in ICU for a couple of days. She went from literally running a bank branch to needing to move into assisted living within six months.
I was in the ICU in 2009 and I lost all of my memories, from childhood on up. The doctors didn’t seem to know about this ICU memory loss thing, and they called me “confused.” They had to tell me about the car accident I had; I didn’t remember my parents or my daughter. The memory loss has persisted. When I look at old letters I’ve written, I’m surprised by what they say. Right now I’m just so surprised that this is a Thing, but now what happened makes more sense.
My partner was in the ICU for a couple weeks, and the regular hospital for a few months after, after getting hit by a car. I thought that his memory problems and hallucinations were solely a result of his TBI, but now I’m wondering if they were just from being in the ICU. He still doesn’t remember most of his time there, or the accident that precipitated it.
I had no idea this was a regular thing that happens and I find it terrifying. There should not be so many ways for hospitals/healthcare treatments to make people sicker! That defeats the whole purpose. Everything is terrible and the world is horrifying. #feelingdramatic
If you need something optimistic to balance it out, the Only Human podcast did an episode on a hospital working to improve the experience and outcomes in the ICU that was interesting and made me feel like maybe things won’t be terrible forever.
I was in the ICU for all of thirty-six hours, thank the universe (I went over my bicycle handlebars and hit my guts on them as I landed, which lacerated my liver). I did wonder how the hell anyone was actually supposed to get restful sleep–everything beeps, there was just a curtain between me and my neighbor who was constantly coughing up a lung, and the nurses station was right outside and usually noisy. I can remember pressing my Fentanyl pump when I wasn’t in pain just so I could fucking SLEEP.
My dad had a stroke last year and spent 2 weeks in ICU in an induced coma. The memory loss, inability to prioritize and plan tasks, were I thought just a result of the stroke. But his confusion and misperceptions of that time in ICU and shortly thereafter still persist.
The stroke was scary enough but the idea that the ICU stay may have added to his brain is quite upsetting.
Has anyone else been noticing how sassy the CBC has been lately? Because the last line in that Kenney article:
“Kenney also previously served as minister for multiculturalism, and for citizenship and immigration.”
PURE SASS. Bless the CBC I hope they go full Mean Girls until they get properly funded again.
(also, I worked for 4 years at an immigration law firm & Kenney was my personal ENEMY #1 while he was at CIC; sadly not even the loss of his unjustifiable cabinet positions can knock him further down my list as I truly despise him with every fiber of my being)
I noticed the change the day after the election. You could feel the freedom.
They do seem to be serving up big helpings of schadenfreude along with their reporting, it’s true, and who can blame them?
Ages ago Pierre Polievre was saying something gross in public and the picture the CBC ran was of him counting two things on his fingers. It was gloriously snarky, and I want to high-five that staffer.
Oh goooodd. I have been a tiny bit in love with Winona Ryder since 1989, before I knew that gay was a thing and that I was pretty gay. At this point I think I will always be a little in love with her. I haven’t read the link yet, because there are pictures of dogs to look at, but soon! My devotion is unwavering, save for dog related things. Which makes sense.
She was my first crush too! Lately I have been watching her Drunk History bit whenever I`m in a bad mood and it works wonders.
You may like the Gwyneth bit
Oh man journalism/literary plagiarism scandals are absolutely my favorite type of scandals. For anyone else similarly interested, may I suggest The Hoax Project and the podcast Liar City (NB: I did not enjoy the musings about Cosby in the latest episode about Fatty Arbuckle).
Bill Green’s (first WaPo ombudsman, brought on in the wake of the Janet Cooke debacle) piece on Janet Cooke’s fabricated 8 year old heroin addict story remains one of my favorite pieces of longform journalism.
Thank you for The Hoax Project link! Hoaxes are my favorite things and I could read about them forever, so this website is definitely going to take over my life. After a cursory look at the site, I’ve already discovered the Slate “monkeyfishing” scandal — how did I not know about that?!
I’d never heard of it either! I did end up looking up the Jennifer Bush Munchausen story though and it seems recently she and her mother have reconciled and she says her mother never made her ill?
Thank you for this! I love this sort of thing too. Musing about Cosby in an Arbuckle context sounds bad to me, what do they say?
It’s more about throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but it’s a false equivalence. Because Arbuckle was big in movies at a time when movies were considered disposable entertainment, so when he had his fall from grace and people either purposefully destroyed his films or just ignored them until they mouldered away that means they are now genuinely impossible to watch because they’re gone forever. The parallel the hosts draw is in terms of people destroying their personal Cosby comedy albums and other Cosby media and it’s not the same thing in the slightest. Cosby’s old material will continue to exist.
Plus there’s the whole innocent/guilty difference.
The discussion isn’t a huge part of the episode, but you may want to skip it and take a look through the archives for lies and liars that seem interesting!
That’s a really big stretch (and it’s weird that they call him “little more than a footnote today”, he’s pretty well-known among silent film fans), but I’m glad it’s not a big part of it overall. I’ll check it out because it sounds awesome otherwise.
Yeah, I think it’s all contextual. I’ve long since given up trying to determine whether stuff and people who are famous to ME are generally considered famous.
thanks for the links! I sometimes wiki-crawl through the hoax category, but this looks 1000 times better. And I agree, there is something gloriously juicy about journalism and literary scandals.
The Go Ask Alice/A Million LIttle PIeces episode of Liar City may be right up your alley then! One thing I realized while I was listening though: James Frey has had, like, a squillion more chances as a white dude from a privileged background than probably literally anyone else would have had in his place.
I mean, I knew that intellectually but I didn’t care about Frey at all as a writer so the episode really brought it home for me.
In the same neighborhood as memoir scandals, I also very much enjoyed John Krakauer’s Three Cups of Deceit.
Oh gosh, the Go Ask Alice author fascinates me!
I found Frey’s writing so insufferable I couldn’t take him seriously even before the scandal broke. I was doing my MFA then and it was kind of fascinating to watch Oprah publicly disembowel an author, though.
I would love nothing more than to adopt and love Meimei but I live in a dog-free apartment and it makes me want to dieeeeeeeeee.
Sparkling water? It is to laugh. You have no idea how much Diet Coke I consume in a week. I have tried to cut back many times, but always relapse.
I drink so much Coke Zero I know I need to stop but at least it’s zero?????????
My favorite analogy ever was on the Planet Money podcast when they were talking about an auto company stock that was still being sold even though the company was getting taken over: “One of these shares is like a caffeine-free Coke Zero. You pay a buck and a half and in return you get nothing.”
Is, like, ten liters a week too much? It’s probably too much.
coke zero is my heroin.
I’m taking a medication that interacts poorly with caffeine. So I’ve had to give up sweet, sweet Diet Coke. (Although, I was unsuccessfully trying to cut back because it was giving me heartburn.)
….they make it in caffeine-free form.
I have been trying to Quit Cherry Cokes for 2 or 3 years now and it’s impossible. I’ll do really well for like a month, then my period will bring the monthly depression/anxiety spike and I take to my 20oz bottle like a baby because it’s comforting.
but I really need to quit because I’m pretty sure the sugars and caffeine aren’t doing much for my anxiety anyway. (and other health-related things – this is just my first step in getting to a more well-rounded diet, but with my food issues and autistic sensory pickiness, i can only tackle one problem food at a time)
I’m 55 now, so I figure I must be immortal. At least in a Diet-Coke sense.
Sometimes I think Coke is going to end up going the way of cigarettes: originally promoted as good for you, becoming broadly consumed, then recognized as something that contributes to a lot of health problems, and ultimately sticking around because too many people are already junkies while the savvier generations-to-come silently judge us for our poor life choices.
I don’t want to be judged for drinking Coke, but I probably want to keep drinking Coke even more. So.
I used to regular coke out of those big 40oz plastic mugs you could buy at the gas station, and then wonder why I could never get to sleep at night.
‘Meimei’ is Mandarin for ‘little sister’. So cute!
So off topic, but I need kind thoughts plez.
Today, a dude in my office told me and my (female) co-worker that in order to avoid rape, we should make eye contact with our attacker, do this/that, etc. I was like…actually, no, there’s not much you can do to prevent it, if an attacker has decided that’s what they’re going to do, and its not the burden of the victim to prevent it. He was like, nope, read it in a study, you are wrong. Sounds super innocuous, but as an actual victim of rape who DID IN FACT LOOK my attacker in the eye, I cannot help but feel violated when this middle aged dude tells me how I can prevent rape. Also, 3 of the 11 employees in my office are now voting for Trump. ITS A BAD DAY TO BE HERE.
Sorry for the rant. I’m feeling very upset and I needed to get that off my chest in a safe place. Where else in the world is the comments section a safe place – thank you Toasties.
That does not sound innocuous at all! That would be a super scary thing to say to anyone. Also so very wrong. I’m so sorry you had to hear that, and that you are stuck working with this man.
*offers Toastie hugs*
Icky rape mansplainer is icky and can GTFO.
WHAT A DICK BAG. Solidarity for you, flames for him.
“Read it in a study” how nice for you.
You know this, but just in case: there’s nothing you could have done to prevent what happened to you. Also not much you can probably do to change the co-worker’s mind, but feel free to indulge in a little daydreaming about bad things happening to him.
It does NOT sound innocuous! You do not casually chat about rape in the workplace! You do NOT casually chat about rape in the workplace! You do not even casually chat about rape and sexual assault in the workplace if you are completely 100% right-on and feminist and there isn’t a shred of victim-blaming in you. You have no idea when you’re talking to a survivor, and nobody needs to be re-traumatised when they are AT WORK.
Fucking dicksplit men who think rape is some kind of theoretical possibility that never actually happens to actual people they might actually know. I am so sorry.
This is so true. And inappropriateness aside, why would the subject ever even come up? Who wants to talk about that at work? There are millions of other things to talk about. This guy needs to pick any of those other topics or STFU.
This is what gets me when people talk about rape and assault in any group–you should always assume there’s a survivor in the group, because there’s a fairly high chance of it being true.
All the toasty Toastie vibes to you. And ditto to that not being “innocuous” in the slightest. It’s one (shitty) thing to mansplain the work assignment to you, but an entirely new definition of shitty to have your own rape mansplained to you.
I hope that the rest of the week brings you better examples of humanity and a REALLY EXCELLENT taco.
And chocolate, all the delicious, creamy chocolate TTmatroyoshka desires.
I am so sorry you had this god awful interaction. Mansplaing at its effing finest. Burn it all down. Love to you. I have rage tears for you.
I am so sorry and so ANGRY that this happened to you! Please take extra good care of yourself, for me, as I would like to give you a hug/high five/solidarity nod and immediately escort you to the nearest vending machine and/or bar.
I’m not, like, wishing death or cancer or anything on the guy because I don’t like to do that, but I do hope he falls down the stairs later today. Like maybe just a bit.
I am wishing him a bountiful supply of stray legos and an epitaph written in comic sans.
“an epitaph written in comic sans” is one of the best ill-wishes I’ve ever heard 🙂
Thank you so so much, Toastie friends. Thank you for your love. Makes me feel so much safer and better about it all. I genuinely love you guys.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this! That kind of bullshit is totally inappropriate in the workplace. (I mean, or anywhere, but especially there).
Please consider keeping a log of these types of incidents, in case this becomes an HR issue in the future.
All of the kind and warm thoughts to you, friend. I’m disgusted that happened to you at work, of all places.
OMFG. He is completely wrong.
I hope somehow you can find a way to arrange your life so this man no longer exists to you.
Oooooh that’s horrible. I keep hearing the mortal kombat “finish him” voice in my head about this. I wish there were a way to convince the other women of the office that he’s awful and they withdraw their emotional and material support. No birthday cake for him. No coffee when they go on coffee runs. No invitations to come out to lunch.
Oh, ugh, your co-worker was completely out of line. So sorry you had to deal with that today.
I agree with Mrs_Peel–document, document, document. Write down dates and times, as well as what he said to the best of your recollection. If this becomes an ongoing issue (which it might–I would look into what constitutes a hostile work environment), it will be helpful to have a log of all the dumb bullshit that has come out of his face hole thus far.
I’m so sorry you have to put up with that B.S.
I am so sorry that happened to you. What a terrible human.
Toast! An amazing thing happened to me recently.
I screwed up ALLLLL my courage and told a family member that I thought an activity she was engaged in was ethically wrong. I had to say something because I was running out of neutral faces to make when she was happily chattering away about it.
Based on previous interactions with this person, I expected her to: yell at me! Make me justify my ethical position! Proceed to point out all of MY moral hypocrisies!
INSTEAD! She was like “OMG I didn’t realize you thought I was doing [activity X]! I’m actually doing [related, but totally morally unproblematic, activity Y]! I’m so glad you said something, I didn’t want you to think badly of me!”
ISN’T THAT AMAZING??
That’s fantastic! And now I am super, super, super curious what these activities are, but go you! That was brave.
I hope it’s murder/investigating murder mysteries, but count me in as dying to know too!
okay, I want this as the set-up for a plot of a cozy mystery series or something.
I have decided that it’s cockfighting??? only. you know. misandristly.
“It’s okay, crystal meth is totally legal now!”
She’s selling the other kind of bath salts on etsy.
omg please let it be this one
Robbing banks vs. robing Tyra Banks (on formal occasions)
I am also extremely curious.
This is more OT, but can we talk about the MRA gatherings happening all over the country this weekend? So gross. http://chicagoist.com/2016/02/02/mens_rights_acti…
“Chicago’s FURIE (Feminist Uprising to Resist Inequality and Exploitation) will be hosting a protest on the site of the Rogers Park meetup.
According to their Facebook event, “[W]e’re gonna fuck with them. We too will converge at the flagpole! We too will mutter secret codes! BECAUSE WE’RE WITCHES AND THEY’RE GONNA GET HEXED AS SHIT.”
Ahahahaha.
Ok, those FURIE gals sound awesome.
So, is there any evidence one way or the other about whether/how many people are actually doing this? It’s one thing for Roosh to declare that this will be a thing, but I feel like I hear a lot about “this is a DAY OF RAGE” or “the police expect violence” for basically every protest, and having to sift through all the rumors and counter-rumors leaves me skeptical/jaded/apathetic.
Although that Chicago “wear a fake mustache!” counter-protest sounds like a lot of fun on its own, I would go to that.
right?? Rogers Park is so far from where I live, I don’t think it’s worth going just to point and laugh at the rooshbags (credit to @NoraReed on twitter for that name, I love it) but the counter rally sounds like a great party waiting to happen.
I also keep thinking of “Moe’s Pet Shop” from Homer vs The Eighteenth Amendment. I hope those guys get stuck in the gears.
Not just in the US, but GLOBALLY. http://kaagazkalam.tumblr.com/post/138530587432/u…
Apparently he called it off. (OR does he want us to THINK he called it off?) Anyway, all in a day’s work, Feminists of the Internet.
Fortunately, reports of MRA get-togethers have been greatly exaggerated: http://www.snopes.com/roosh-v-43-countries/
MISANDRY MONDAYS.
I live a few blocks away. I might go and gawk at them.
There’s a Popeye’s right there, too!
favorite from the FAQs: “What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?”
It is but I loveeeeee how it is being reported in my country. For those that don’t want to read about idiots the headline in the paper is “A misogynist ‘pro-rape’ group called Return of Kings is planning a bizarre meeting in Kildare.”
http://www.thejournal.ie/daryush-valizadeh-meet-u…
I have friends going to protest that! And they’re going to send some male allies inside to see what they’re actually saying!
Looks like they just cancelled their meeting because they were “worried about their safety” lol!
http://www.thejournal.ie/return-of-kings-cancelle…
However the anti-Muslim march is still going forward- http://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news…
Best thing: Roosh found Glasgow a bit scary:
http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/homenews/14250…
Love it!
Hey Toasts! This is off-topic, but I don’t really care because I HAD A BABY. He is probably one of the cuter babies born last week, and is currently eating like a damn champeen and wearing a v v cute onesie that makes him look like a convict.
The picture is broken, so I’m just going to imagine an A+ baby. WHAT A GREAT BABY. Congrats!
I am bad at images, so hopefully this works? This is post-bath and he IS A SNUGGLE BUNNY.
Definitely one of the cuter babies born this week. This year even, I daresay. 🙂
He is precious! Congratulations!
what a perfect little guy! <3 <3 <3
Yep, A+ babying.
AHH baby cheeks! Congratulations! That is a spectacular baby.
Congratulations! What a little darling!
A+ neck rolls!
Omg, he DOES look like a convict. 😉 Congrats to you and your family! Great job too! Glad you came through all right.
Congrats on making such an attractive new human! <3
He’s adorable! Congratulations on a cute bundle of joy! My baby is 8 months old today. May I suggest that you take many many videos of him. They change so fast and sometimes it’s hard to remember the first weeks because you are so full of love that you are just in awe.
Again, congratulations!
A+ creation of human life, good job.
WHAT A BABY!
You’re not helping my soul crushing broodyness. I just want to pinch chin rolls of my own.
So many hugs for you and your new person. He is beautiful. It is such a precious time.
You have to compete with my cousin’s baby for cutest baby born last week (she puts up pretty stiff competition if I do say so myself).
Now that I see the picture, I’m going to have to call it a tie.
That is a most excellent baby. Congratulations!
That is an extraordinarily cute baby, I award him all the points.
I never felt I needed a dog like I need Meimei.
Re: the carbonated bubbles thing – SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
an acid created by the carbonation will “wear away tooth enamel.”
Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking? Just more evidence that Moderation In All Things is still the best policy.
I am just kind of boggled by people being surprised or upset by it? Most things we put in our mouths are not good for our teeth.
“Meimei was abandoned by a couple at the park after they had a fight according to some of the people who had witnessed the incident. Meimei stayed in the park waiting for her owners to return but sadly that never happened. After a few days someone called one of our rescue partners to help this sweet girl. Our rescue partner was able to reach Meimei’s owners through the microchip but was informed they no longer wanted her.”
So where is this park, exactly? I need to go there and have A Conversation with some people.
People who abandon dogs need to be shamed, starved, stuck on a spit, struck by lightning, have their faces melted off and whipped until bloody. They are absolute shits.
I follow Susie’s Senior Dogs on fb and read about abandonments and my blood boils. BOILS! People who move all of their things and leave the dog in an empty house, with no food, no hope, nothing. The thought of their psychological torment after being left by their families to starve alone, it is the stuff of true nightmares.
I, too, have very strong emotional responses to stories like this. There is a lot of cruelty and selfishness out there. And Meimei’s individual story is quite horrible.
HOWEVER.
Until we have a society that actually cares for all its members, there are going to be many, many cases of abandonment resulting from people who are simply overwhelmed by life. For instance, most homeless shelters don’t accept pets. If you are a poor, mentally ill single mom with two elementary-school-age kids who gets evicted, are you going to go on the streets with them so you can keep the dog with you? Are you going to be able to invest energy in even trying to find another home for a dog, as opposed to trying to make sure your kids eat and make it to school? Most of us will never in our lives be tested that severely. Most of us have failed tests far less rigorous.
The founder of Detroit Dog Rescue once said: “Where there are dogs in distress, there are people in distress.” I think it’s really important to keep that in mind when thinking about the problem of pet abandonment. I can’t even look at most of those stories anymore, they’re so upsetting that I would actually burn out on supporting rescue if I did, but if your sympathy extends only to the dog in that kind of scenario, you need to consider further.
OK, but if you have taken on the responsibility of pet ownership, you need to take them to a shelter, not leave them to starve in isolation.
If you can’t imagine how people in crisis–especially people who have effectively been living in crisis for years–can fail in their responsibilities without being monsters, I’m not sure mere words is going to convey it to you.
Regardless, what do you think happens to owner surrenders at state-run shelters?
You’re right, we are not going to agree. People can fail in their responsibilities. I have been in crisis. But I would not do that to an animal, and I would not forgive anyone who does, period. Animals in shelters have a chance. This is why shelters exist.
I really appreciated you sharing this perspective.
Ooooh, I hate people so MUCH!
What is Sansa going to do when she no longer fits the baby chair?
Probably still sit on the baby chair, according to my dog.
Which will happen approximately tomorrow, at this rate
Topple over repeatedly and then look at 1 The Chair and 2 Nicole in disgust for allowing this situation to occur, based on my experience.
Continue to sit in the chair, but wear a mixed look of embarrassment and betrayal.
– On the one hand, yes, Jason Kenney is an incorrigible asshole. (The later tweets smack of “long-suffering legislative aide does damage control.”) On the other, it’s a handy reminder to Canadians that Harper’s cronies didn’t just melt away like the morning dew upon the rising of the glorious son of Trudeau, as it were; like the Elder Gods, they’re always looking for a way back in.
– SMH at Juan Thompson’s attempts at defending himself. There’s a lot of dog-ate-my-homework stuff there, and who ever refers to themselves as a “cub reporter”? (I mean, beside Silver Age Jimmy Olsen?) And his thing about “poor black people” not giving their real names (there are, of course, ways to indicate this in a story) doesn’t really explain Dylann Roof’s nonexistent cousin. That, and the multiple versions of his letter to the editor, make me wonder if he even has cancer. (I have had a coworker with Munchausen Syndrome who made false claims of cancer more than once.)
– Winona Ryder is someone that I was very impressed by in Beetlejuice and less so with each movie of hers that I’ve seen since. There’s not a lot I can say about the article except that it reminded me of how much I hate The Catcher in the Rye.
– That ICU thing was really scary; I get freaked out by the fever dreams I have when I get a relatively mild cold.
MEIMEI LOOKS LIKE SUCH A HAPPY GIRL. 🙁
My immediate assumption on seeing a “Conservative MP says something horribly offensive” story what that it was one of ours (UK). Not sure whether to be relieved or depressed that it’s not.
(I saw a reference to this news story earlier today. Why are Tories the worst? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2…
Wasn’t there a study or something last year that talked about conservative voters having less empathy and such? I didn’t read it, just noted the headline and nodded.
Something like this? http://billmoyers.com/2014/07/17/scientists-are-b…
Good article about the state of the Democratic Party and how Hillary Clinton’s evolution is a good thing and shows how the Democratic Party has moved left. http://theweek.com/articles/603127/hillary-clinto…
“It represents a Democratic coalition that is well to the left of where it was in 1994 or 1976. The political landscape has changed, and even Bill Clinton would govern very differently if he took office today than he did in the ’90s.”
(and I’m most likely voting for Sanders, cause there remain real differences as the article discusses)
Not related but news: I saw the story about the CDC recommending that women not drink unless they’re using contraception right before I went to bed last night and was INFURIATED. Like, of course, I am now also meant to plan my life around the possibility of a hypothetical fetus. Ugh.
I read that and immediately openned a beer.
ME AND MY UTERUS WILL DRINK IF WE WANT TO.
SPITE DRINKING.
I would like to go have several shots of tequila now.
Remember about a decade ago when … I forget who, exactly, maybe Congress? maybe just in a few states? maybe CDC recommendations? were trying to pass a law that all doctors had to treat women as pre-pregnant All The Fucking Time and it was such a clusterfuck of assumptions that anyone with a uterus would become pregnant at any moment and would want to remain pregnant.
The CDC under (big shock!) the Bush administration issued guidelines that all women of childbearing age should be considered pre-pregnant. They came out in 2006 and despite having a uterus equipped for child-bearing this whole time, I have yet to move from pre-pregnant to baby. Big ups for contraception, no ups for the Bush administration.
Thank you for filling in the details! I knew it was about 10 years ago and Bush, but that’s all my brain files could do. It’s so absurd “we’re not going to give you the healthcare that is best for you because what if you get pregnant” on top of the walking uterus thing. I would hope that, looking back, most doctors took it more as a suggestion to discuss with their patients about intentions and so on, but this new CDC thing makes that a “ha ha ha keep hoping, Keri”
up YOURSES for the Bush administration.
thafuck is pre-pregnant? Like, what does that even MEAN?
Oh, you know, just the usual – ownership of a uterus that hasn’t shriveled up yet.
Right?? Because I would be moving on to post-pregnant real fast, let me tell you.
Treating all women as pre-pregnant sounds like my college health center.
College Woman: I fell and now I can’t put weight on my ankle.
College Health: Hm, could you be pregnant?
College Woman: I’ve had a sore throat for a week and my tonsils are eight times their normal size.
College Health Could you be pregnant?
College Woman: I ate at the dining hall and can’t stop vomiting.
College Health: We’re pretty sure you’re pregnant. Or hungover. Or both.
Oh my god, this reminds me of the time I got swimmer’s ear on a beach vacation (would not recommend). I went to one of those emergency health centers and the first question was, “Are you sexually active?”
I’m not sexually active in my EAR.
“I’m not sexually active in my EAR.”
Actual lol (in fact, unholy cackle of glee).
I knew someone who fell off a horse and had a suspected fractured spine; the hospital wouldn’t give her a back xray until she took a pregnancy test, despite her instance that there was absolutely no way she was pregnant. She sat around for about 8 hours and then they discharged her with a ‘torn muscle’ and no xray.
6 months later she found out she had broken off the wing of one of her vertebrae. CAUSE POTENTIAL BABIES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN BROKEN SPINES APPARENTLY.
Thank you for bringing this up! It’s always knocking around in the back of my mind and no one I talk to seems to remember it.
I don’t even LIKE drinking — I can’t stand the taste of alcohol and it doesn’t make me feel good — but now I want to get drunk just as a symbolic “fuck you.”
Speaking as a former fetus, this recommendation is ludacris. Also, gin is yummy.
Every time I hear about a dog being abandoned I hug my step-Bichon a little harder. She was surrendered to a vet’s office when her previous owners wanted to PUT HER DOWN because she was peeing in the house due to some chronic medical issues. My partner’s ex-wife took her home and when they split, he got her in the divorce. I can’t even imagine life without this teensy puffball. People are the worst.
They are. Volunteering with a cat rescue let me see just how turrible people can be – like the ones who take their cats to the vet to have them put down because they don’t want them any more. Not that the cats have reached their endpoint and it’s time to let them go, just…we don’t want it. At least there are still some vets out there with a conscience, who take the cat from them and try to find somewhere for it to go.
🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
Stop with these stories please, I’m so sad.
I want all the dogs and cats to be loved and taken care of forever and for people to stop being the worst.
I had to step away, myself. And just spend time with my 3, who were very sick as wee kittens and were slated to be put down at the provincial org that’s supposed to look after animals, but a kind worker there snuck them out to the rescue, and so now I have these three slightly-overweight and spoiled sweeties.
Winona was in two of my favorite things ever and she was perfect in them.
Thing 1: The Age Of Innocence. God, that’s such a beautiful movie and she kills in it.
Thing 2: The Strangers With Candy series finale. That’s how you go out on top. Bring in the best guest stars possible.
Fran: Hi, Jerri.
Jerri: Yo-yo-you talkin’ to me?
Fran: Yep.
Jerri: I’m guessing this is a dream. Only difference is you’re not naked a tied to a radiator.
Toastie parents! This is completely unrelated to the link roundup, but I usually miss the Friday Open Thread, and I am looking for any advice/recommendations you all may have for my situation. My husband and I have been talking on and off about when we should start trying for a baby, and we’re currently thinking maybe, hypothetically, at the end of this year, but it just feels like such a complicated decision because of grad school (me) and med school (him) and probably having to move for his residency (early summer 2018), and as much as this is something I want, I’m feeling really anxious about actually taking the plunge. SO! Any advice about how you all and your partners made decisions about kids? Any recs for books to read or journaling/discussion topics to think about? Anybody with experience in grad school + babies that wants to share (if all goes according to plan with my comprehensive exams this fall, I’d be at the ABD stage of my PhD before baby-time)?
Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
We started trying for our baby after I finished my comps/quals (truthfully, though, we couldn’t really have tried while I was studying for them, because the stress of the exams threw off my cycle). It took us six months of trying — so, my first piece of advice is not to expect to get pregnant right away. This doesn’t work on a schedule.
My son was born in August, which is pretty good timing. I was able to TA through the end of the school year, then had my baby shower before people left campus for the summer. I didn’t have a TAship lined up for the next year which turned out to be a good thing.
I thought I would be able to work while the baby napped. HA. No. For a long time, he only napped while I held him. Every baby is different, but my next piece of advice is not to expect the kid to follow a schedule.
It took me about six months before I was able to get back to my dissertation work. It really took that long for my brain to adjust to the new reality. After I got back, though, I found what worked best for me was committing to a routine. I wrote for the first 45 minutes after my son went down for the night. (I had to work up to 45 minutes — calibrate it to however you work best.) It doesn’t sound like much, but you can get a lot done. One trick: When you come to the end of your writing time, leave off mid-thought. This allows you to jump right back in when you start up again the following night.
I made a lot of progress, and I even presented two conference papers. (I’ve gotten off track lately because I was diagnosed with cancer, but that’s a whole different pile of personal issues to work through. Having a baby made me more motivated. Having cancer made me have more self-doubts.)
For books on academic life as a parent, I recommend Professor Mommy: Finding Work-Family Balance in Academia by Kristen R. Ghodsee and Rachel Connelly. Unlike most of the info out there (that says you’re basically screwed for choosing to procreate), this book provides examples of female professors who have actually done what you’re trying to do.
For parenting, I liked Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman. That philosophy fits well with a career-driven woman.
Finally, I suggest finding mentors. At the last conference I went to, I had coffee with a professor I see once a year who is also a Facebook friend, and she gave me the full pep talk of, “I see what you’re doing, and I’ve been where you’ve been, and I can tell you that you’re doing great!” which I desperately needed to hear.
Thank you!!! This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for — just some insight from people who have done it. Which, there are people in my program or our “sister” programs that have done it, but none that I’m super close with, and plus I figured that Toasties would have good advice, in general.
I definitely know that it might take longer than we want, which is actually part of what’s making this feel so complicated to me, because there are some big, immovable things involving travel (on my husband’s part) and a probable long-distance move (both of us) that it’s difficult to time a pregnancy around. Like, literally, I made a month-by-month calendar of the next 3 years, and put in all of the major stuff (my comps, his travel), so that we could find times that would make at least some sense, and we’ve got 3 months highlighted, then 2 months off, then 3 more months highlighted, then a year off… ugh.
Anyway. Thank you so much for the insight about what it’s actually like to dissertate with a new babe, and the advice about mentors. My adviser is actually a relatively new mom (her little one is a year old, and I get to baby-sit him sometimes), but I know that she waited until she was well-situated and tenured before having him, and it’s different when you’re still a student. I’ll be sure to look up the book recs, too!
Also, I completely missed it when I first read your comment last night, but I just caught that you’ve been diagnosed with cancer — I’m really sorry to hear that, and I hope that you have a strong support system in place to help get you through. Wishing you good health!
Longest Shortest Time podcast is amazing. Don’t count on getting pregnant right away. You can meet with your ob before starting the process for a chat, which can be helpful- they can also do things like check your MMR immunity and give you a booster if it’s low before you start trying- can’t have it while pregnant.
I love Longest Shortest Time! I’ve already been immersing myself in a lot of baby-ness for a while, partly as a way to give into my baby rabies, and partly to try to shut down my baby rabies by keeping myself from idealizing/romanticizing parenthood too much, so the honest approach that Hilary takes about stuff is good for me, I think. And I definitely know that it can take a while to get pregnant — I think dealing with that aspect of the timing is part of what’s making me feel so anxious about this, because as my husband and I both start getting close to the end of grad/med school, there are going to be some big changes happening (including a big move for his residency program, most likely) that it can be tricky to plan around, especially given the already unpredictable nature of pregnancy. I’m a planner! I like to plan! But I know that kind of has to go out the window here, to some degree.
The tip about MMR immunity is super helpful! I should start a list of questions to bring up at my next OB appointment. Thanks!!!
I don’t know if this helps any on the moving front, but my mom and dad did a huge move during her pregnancy with me- including travel to two different states so my dad could interview and they could both check out the area and see where they wanted to live. This also included buying their first house and doing renovations that included my mother hanging drywall at 8 months pregnant. I turned out fine, and my mom wound up with a friend next door that had her baby two days before I was born. You can get a lot done in nine months.
Yeah, it’s always good to know that if it really comes down to it, it can be done! My main concern, at this point, is consistency of pre-natal care, really, along with not wanting to move with a newborn. But we’ll cross those bridges when we come to it, I suppose. Thanks!
Hey! So I don’t have experience with your particular situation re: grad school etc., but I can tell you what went into our decision, and recommend some reading.
The TL;DR is this: We agreed we wanted a kid and that there’s no perfect time, so that if we wanted it and timing was good enough, then we were going to go for it.
So ok, by the time we got married spring of 2014, we were pretty sure we wanted kids. Before that, we were on the fence because we like our life together and the flexibility to travel a lot and spend money on us etc., and I had serious personal reservations about being pregnant/parenting in NYC (where we live and which I really don’t like…another story).
It went sort of like this: Not sure and NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS IF WE LIVE HERE –> We think we might want this but we don’t know when we can leave, so maybe wait –> Well…What IF? And that question cracked the whole thing wide open, just letting in the idea of, what if? That’s a metaphor of course, but it really felt like an opening — to not be so restricted in what life has to look like to have a baby, because it can look a lot of different ways, including with parents who are in school or have to move frequently or whatever.
The real crux of the issue for us was that we couldn’t, within reason, think of when in the near future we would be in a drastically BETTER position for kids. We make enough to support ourselves and save some, have benefits, I currently take classes online, we have a safe place to live that’s affordable for now, and, perhaps most importantly, we really wanted a kid, and ideally sooner rather than too much later (we are 30 and it was our personal preference to have kids “young”). Yes, we have student loan debt, and I don’t know what the F is going to end up happening with my career/work life (oh the tangled web), and I’d love to not live here, but we have the means and the desire to raise a child. Some of our ducks are in a row, some aren’t. The important ones are though.
Sure, we could have more money (couldn’t we all?), or more savings/less debt, or a promotion, or not live in NYC (please universe hear my pleas!), or a house, or I could have figured out my career shit a long time ago, or whatever, but those “coulds” are not things that make it unwise to have a baby now. Would be nice, but not necessary. Nutshell: We wanted it, the time was as good as any, not the Platonic ideal of Perfect Time, which, spoiler, doesn’t exist, but good enough. Especially for the early years, when a baby/toddler is small and doesn’t need too much beyond love, safety, food, and shelter.
July of 2014 we really talked it out and decided 100% we do want to have a baby, and then eventually decided we’d start trying in early 2015. We both read Bringing Up Bebe and All Joy and No Fun, which gave us the sense that we could definitely handle this parenting thing. I also got the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and read it before I was pregnant, and started tracking my cycle and learning about fertility/conception (lots of people recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, though the info is also out there online). I’m so glad I did this because turns out I knew next to nothing! I also started going to therapy again because, though I was making strides with my anxiety on my own, I was very conscious of wanting to be my healthiest before starting on a big life change. And we talked and talked and talked and talked about what it would be like, our values and goals for our family, money, etc. etc.
Annnnnd now I’m due in a week! Holy #%&$! Hope all this helps a little, at least to hear how it went for us.
Ahh, a week is so soon! Congratulations! 😀
HUGE thank you for the book recs. And for this:
“The real crux of the issue for us was that we couldn’t, within reason, think of when in the near future we would be in a drastically BETTER position for kids.”
Which I think is exactly the way of thinking I need to shift towards. Because that’s the thing, there really isn’t a better time in the near future for us, but then I still keep dwelling on all the complicated parts of doing it now. Babies are hard, dude. And I don’t even have one yet!
I’m another one that has no experience with grad school, but am almost done incubating my second kid.
We always knew we wanted 2 kids, and we always knew we wanted them reasonably close in age. First because we both have older siblings that we were close in age to so it’s familiar, second because I’m being a stay at home mom (financial and time related reasons) until they’re both in school and I don’t want to be away from work forever, and third because I’m in my mid-30s and we didn’t want to wait too long and increase various risks.
We started trying again just after our older one turned one. Fortunately it’s pretty easy for me to get pregnant (like, 2 months of trying and boom) Unfortunately it’s less easy for me to carry to term. I had 2 miscarriages and some decent mental healing time between them before the current one stuck. That, I suppose, is the moral of my story, just because you want to get pregnant doesn’t mean you will, and doesn’t mean you’ll have it when you plan. When you do start trying, think about what you’ll do if it’s born 9 months later, a year later, a year and a half, etc.
Congratulations on your upcoming baby! I hope your current little one is excited to be an older sibling 😀
Yeah, we definitely know we want kids, but we haven’t settled on a number, or how we want to space them. That’s part of what I’m thinking about, too — I really, really want to have more than one, and I want to have some degree of control over how they’re spaced out, rather than feeling like I just need to have the next one as soon as possible before I can’t anymore, and thinking about the possibility of having trouble conceiving has definitely been part of that aspect of the decision-making process.
Thanks!
I have not had the baby-making experience myself, but I appreciate the advice that there is never a perfect time to have a baby, it is going to turn your world upside down no matter what, but sooner is better if you for sure know you want one.
Donald “Steaming Pile of Garbage” Trump is reportedly on the list of nominees for the Nobel Peace Prize. The source who reported this said his nomination was because of “his vigorous peace through strength ideology, used as a threat weapon of deterrence against radical Islam, Isis, nuclear Iran and Communist China”. He doesn’t have a chance in hell, but WHAT THE HELL WORLD? http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/donald-t…
I feel like the Nobel Peace Prize shouldn’t be handed out to those who have merely advocated Peace Through Strength, but should be reserved for people who have actually implemented it. Like Kissinger.
What the hell, world?!
Other than the fact that Donald Trump shouldn’t get a Nobel for anything, it’s weird to me how it’s often based just on ideology and given out so soon. Everyone can have an ideology and believe it’ll lead to world peace, the tricky part is actually putting it into practice and making sure it really leads to peace.
Explanation: http://www.snopes.com/trump-nominated-nobel-prize…
Thanks!
If anyone needs warm-happy-doggy-feelings photos this morning, where everything is good with the world, I recommend this happy family of senior dogs (and a pig and a rabbit) and one giant young dog who all get pampered and cuddle in front of the fire: http://www.instagram.com/wolfgang2242/
Well there goes my afternoon 🙂
But OMG the pig!
ENGLEBERT!
He reminds me of my geriatric terrier who lives with my mum. 18 years and still going strong (but deaf and stiff and can’t really go up stairs anymore, and he needs soft things to lie on because his bones hurt, but he can’t get on the couch anymore)
This is what I want my future house to be like (plus goats and sheeps and cows and ponies. AND ALL THE PIGS, also chickens.)
Oh, I cried too, because I realized that my tiny mama is also a nerd AND SHE IS STILL ALIVE, and I get to totally nerd it up with her now, and it *healed* something in my wary little heart, y’all.
Gwyneth may have the Oscar and the fortune and the offers, but she knows deep down in her quinoa-studded heart that she’ll never affect an audience like Winona.
(I’m not usually one for pitting women against each other, I swear, but I’ve always been fond of WR and bless her for being vulnerable and failing and trying again. I hope some director out there gives her a helluva role or five.)
Because of the pre-pregnancy comments upthread–
I read this on the local news website and I had to shut the computer. ” Local hospitals breaking the law by failing to submit abortion reports to the government. ”
http://www.wkyc.com/news/local/ohio/ohio-hospital…
I really want ALL the hospitals to say, FU we aren’t going to invade our patients’ privacy and you have no right to demand that info and we are civilly disobeying. But I know they won’t.
KILL KILL KILL is what is really going through my head when I see it, though.
Very late, but this seemed like a very toastworthy newspaper article:
Lord Lucan, Missing Since 1974 Murder, Declared Dead (Again)
“He added: “To hear that your father is racist, a snob, a poster boy for the aristocracy in the ’70s didn’t sit very well with the rather charming, rather lovely and kind man that I knew. Nevertheless, people, if they leave a party early, get to be speculated about, don’t they?””
I feel like this quote comes out of the Lady magazine from yesterday. It’s so very. . .so.
Wow, yes! Aha, I love how it ends with his son’s statement:
“Nevertheless, people, if they leave a party early, get to be speculated about, don’t they?”
“Anyway, I guess the woman was embarrassed, and so, of course, was I, but she still went ahead with what she’d been planning to do with Ta-Nehisi: unload all this terrible racial guilt. What am I supposed to do with that? Ta-Nehisi hears that stuff all the time. It’s just — ’’ He paused for a moment. ‘‘It’s exhausting.’’”
WHAT, no, that is not how you use your encounter with TNC!!! You tell him he is one of the greatest writers of this generation, thank him profusely for all he’s doing, tell him to keep it up, then bam, walk away! (That’s how it goes in all my little fantasies, anyway.)
My favorite part of the Q&A TNC did at the speech I went to was when a middle-aged man got up and said, basically, “you’re amazing, and I would like to know how you accomplish being so amazing.” He tacked on a “how could the rest of us also be amazing” to make it more of a question and less of a declaration of awe, but it was pretty much “you’re really smart, I love you, how are you so smart and wonderful, thank you for being you.”
I gave up meat, I gave up cigarettes, I gave up drugs (mostly). I will not give up my sodastream, my sparkling water, or my prosecco. Bubbly drinks are the hill I will die on.
me too
toothless, apparently, but me too.
Thank you for picking up on these salacious lies about my beloved LaCroix. Atlantic can’t tell me how to live my life!