Sansa is so sleepy. Probably because dogs have been us for even longer than we thought.
I have not put tote pics in this roundup, bc I was taking my daughter to appointments ALL DAY and didn’t open the boxes yet. I apologize. ALSO, we finished showing my mom Die Hard last night, and she loved it but we totally GAGGED together when Holly said “Holly MCCLANE” at the end bc her husband is sooooo sexy she no longer wants to use her birth name. Get woke, Holly.
Canada’s residential schools TRC report is out. I’m making my way through it slowly. It’s pretty rough. You should read it.
Mistrial in the Freddie Gray case.
The Marshall Project’s “An Unbelievable Story of Rape” is incredible, and brutal:
To Marie, it seemed the questioning had lasted for hours. She did what she always did when under stress. She flipped the switch, as she called it, suppressing all the feelings she didn’t know what to do with. Before she confessed to making up the story, she couldn’t look the two detectives, the two men, in the eye. Afterward, she could. Afterward, she smiled. She went into the bathroom and cleaned up. Flipping the switch was a relief — and it would let her leave.
As someone who has watched every horrible video available online, I found this account by the dude who used to run Portal of Evil fascinating (if you are EVEN A LITTLE SQUEAMISH or do not enjoy gross gore videos, probably because you were not raised by my gore-loving dad, skip this one):
I raised this possibility with Dr. Strohminger recently — the idea that, as a culture, we are starting to become inured to disgusting things. She disagreed. “Hundreds of years ago, people attended executions for entertainment. The thought of watching someone be killed is beyond the pale for most people. I’d resist the notion that we’re becoming less sensitive to disgusting things.”
She wasn’t wrong, even in my case. I was maybe less sensitive to the immediate sight of the disgusting, but I was getting more sensitive to the ramifications of what I was doing. In 2005, users of the site took a concept album written by “the DragonGuyver,” a prematurely balding amateur philosopher in Maine, and put all of the lyrics to music, even getting some of the songs played on the radio; others Catfished an NYC slam poet into sending dick pics and showing up for a fake date. Stunts like this felt too far, and I started to move away from the site.
In a similar vein, the INCREDIBLY NSFW Buzzfeed list of the 50 worst internet things of the year. So many dicks! So many Minions! The occasion Minion IN A DICK. I dry-heaved repeatedly. What is WRONG with me?
To be black and from Newark in the mid-1970s and get plucked from a model casting call for Italian Vogue by Irving Penn — it was the kind of success story that was unheard of, especially for someone like her. She was signed by a top agency, photographed multiple times for the pages of Essence magazine. She landed an exclusive contract for Avon skin care, and another for Clairol’s Born Beautiful hair color boxes: No. 512, Dark Auburn, please. She went to Paris and became a house model in the Balenciaga showroom, wearing couture and walking the runway twice a day. Norman was never as big as Iman, Beverly Johnson, Pat Cleveland, or the other models of color breaking barriers on international runways or on the cover of Vogue. But she was riding that wave. It was more than she could have ever hoped for when she was a kid in New Jersey. Back when she was a boy who knew that, inside, he was a girl.
I am weirdly obsessed with Fashion Santa.
Exploring the Shaun King controversy as it plays out:
To be honest, I have long been aware of the suspicions some harbor about how he manages charitable donations. I have groused privately about the veracity of some of his reporting and whether his body of writing met the publishing standards that so many in this business work under. I heard the whispers, the back room talk from people who did not want to be seen as “racist” or acting like “crabs in the barrel” for criticizing King.
“What do you think about Shaun King…” the conversation almost invariably opens. “I want to be fair,” I generally respond. “People haven’t always been fair to me.”
Alana Massey’s Christmas newsletter is full of surprises:
Uncle Zayn came to visit and he brought with him dolls made of corn husks for the children and jewels that were purportedly pried from the cold dead hands of the Romanovs for Harry and me. His career in hip-hop is going well and he is elbow deep in doe-eyed heiresses as the fates always intended for him. Liam has agreed to be our gardener and we so appreciate his arrangements of the morning glories. Niall brought an acoustic guitar into the manor in October and began to play “Wonderwall” and we have not spoken to him since. Louis is in Boca Raton and living it right up!
The New Republic has a series of ten mini-essays on Lolita by smart female writers (I am more of a Pnin woman than a Lolita woman, but I think it’s a great, imperfect novel):
When I was a few years older than Lo is supposed to be, I adored Lolita for its word games. I longed to be as sophisticated as its narrator, smart enough to get his private jokes. Twice the age now, I am struck rereading it how many fancy words I must have learned here first. Limpid! Alembic! Concupiscence!
Today, my feelings about Lolita are more ambivalent. Not because it celebrates sex abuse but because it fervently believes in the autonomy of art from life. Nabokov insists that a private, even hermetic experience of literature is enough to redeem the horrors of real history—the fallen continent Humbert fled. I disagree. Yet the skill with which Lolita creates and sustains its double vision, still impresses and affects me deeply, even as the Old World that produced Humbert shrinks ever smaller in the rearview mirror.
Even if you don’t want to look at the whole Buzzfeed list, please just look at the first item (it’s SFW, I promise) for the ultimate m’lady Reddit atheist bro being a terrible human being.
Also, you can listen to the Internet Explorer podcast where they talk about some of their favorite items on the list (especially their minion obsession, which has been explored before), because Katie and Ryan are obsessed with the weird/gross things on the Internet and so am I and it makes me feel less alone in that.
Also, if you want a good happy cry, here’s a post about a Syrian refugee couple who brought their kitten on the life boat and were just reunited with him after he was quarantined in Germany
I thought weird and gross things was why we have the internet…
Must be doing it wrong.
There are weird and gross things, and then there’s a guy having sex with a chicken on Thanksgiving.
Though, that list is worth it just to confirm that yes, Confederate furries AND bronies do exist, and they have put pictures of themselves on the Internet.
I think of myself as obsessed with weird/gross things on the internet, but yikes. I think zit videos might be my limit.
I can’t bring myself to look at anything else on the list, but that guy’s face is the worst and your description of him is perfect.
I CLICKED ON EVERY SINGLE BLURRED-OUT PIC.
I did the same and I was actually angry at myself, like I wanted to stop but I couldn’t.
There must be a German word for this compulsion.
click on everything except the waffles one
the waffles one (shudder)
“Waffles” piqued my curiosity and now I’ve looked at everything. The waffles are not what I most wish I could unsee.
man if all is not redeemed by the expressions on the orifice minions though we just have fundamentally different values in life
But… *prepares to type the worst thing ever* that penis crust is seared into my brain.
that was the only one i nope-scrolled past with all my might.
the rest……..look, i’m not happy about the waffles, but i only have so many bad feelings at my disposal at any given time.
AGREED. The one I most regret seeing.
YES it was all awful I’m still a bit frozen in horror that d**k cheese is now a part of my vocabulary. (I can’t even bring myself to type it out.)
ugh god the waffles one is like the only one i clicked on and i am regretting it so much
My favorite part of the waffles one is where she says “my relationship > yours”. Someone finishing all over my breakfast would be a sign that my relationship was over, not better than anyone else’s. Plus, that’s not combining sex and breakfast. He said the sexy times without you and now you’re supposed to eat the result.
yyyyyup I saw the word “ovipositor” below that screenshot and nopetopused away. That guy is a perfect specimen, though, let us soak gleefully in our hate.
SAME
SAME
Nuts, I can’t see it at work.
I cannot wait ti get home and look! (I already know all about the ovipositor, I shared that around when it first came out because… weird sex things plus science fiction are primary areas of my interest.)
ZAYTOUNA 😀 😀 😀
I”m tearing up just looking at the pictures!
um that cat story is the cutest thank you so much for sharing it
brb, going to hide in the work bathroom and cry about that happy cat for 20 minutes. nbd.
See, this is the kind of thing I worry about if there is some kind of disaster. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE PETS?!?
I lie awake at night and think about this exact sort of thing. I don’t know what I’d do exactly but I know I couldn’t leave my cat behind, she is my whole world.
My boyfriend gently mocked me that when we were in a small earthquake that seemed to be going on too long the first thing I did was grab our cat. I regret nothing, I’m not evacuating anywhere without that cat.
A+ priorities. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to wrangle all 3 of mine into carriers to get them to safety, ever. :/
That’s the thing I worry about when there’s flooding and wildfires and earthquakes and all. What about the critters?!
(I might have a houseful of animals and do monthly evacuation drills to tighten my response time).
This is why I have leashes in both cars, at both doors of the house, in the master closet which is where we go for tornado warnings, and on my bedside table. My dogs do not leave my side.
No, Heroic Rescue Person, my dogs don’t bite. But if you try to separate me from them, *I* will bite.
ok ok I scrolled through it and didn’t look at the ovipositor or any of the blurred ones and….the Minion-themed wedding is so out of place. It’s weird, it’s over the top, I can’t wrap my head around why someone would do it, but I’m just looking at those nice wedding photos like “where are the dicks? Is one of the groomsmen accompanied by his anime realdoll girlfriend? What am I missing here.”
Katie and Ryan are just super obsessed with minion culture and the ridiculous escalation of minion themed things. I’m not surprised it’s on there.
I’ve found that posting/sharing/liking minion memes on Facebook is a reliable indicator of people I will not/do not like but am friends with/tenuously connected to there for whatever stupid reason. I just kinda don’t get them – like, I saw one about “Leaving the CHRIST in Christmas” with a minion in a santa hat, and I just don’t get where the minions come into it.
Most of the gross list was gross but the pic of the Minion dildos made me laugh and laugh, especially the I’m with Stupid sign.
And yes, Minion dildos seem kind of sweet compared to the rest of that stuff. The Internet is a cesspool.
I looooove the internet explorer podcast, even though- and this unfortunately completely true- I had an incredibly hard time getting to sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about 47. I was mildly concerned I might vomit.
everyone EVERYONE that dickwad who jacked up the prices for Daraprim to like $700 and bought that Wu-Tang Clan album was arrested and it really raised my holiday spirits
i know the odds – he probably won’t really pay for being such a sore on the world’s ass but nevertheless, this makes me feel soooo good and sooo smug especially bc he was on twitter literally bragging about ruining people’s lives RIGHT before he was arrested
Literally everyone on the Internet is celebrating, I have not seen a single person on his side and IT IS GLORIOUS
This tweet pretty much sums it up: https://twitter.com/_cingraham/status/67747045409…
This guy PERSONIFIES the term “boil on the butt of humanity.” Channeling my inner Ouiser Boudreaux here.
I hope that while he’s in jail, the RZA kicks down the door to his house and steals the Wu-Tang album back, too, just for good measure.
Poetic motherfucking justice.
Martin Shkreli gets a text in jail. It’s a selfie of Bill Murray and the RZA, in Shkreli’s living room, album in hand.
’tis a Christmas miracle!
What did he get arrested for? Being the worst living soul in humanity? The lowest common denominator of capitalism personified ? Or like, mail fraud?
Securities fraud!
I’m kind of relieved that it’s nothing related to the toxoplasmosis drug. Obviously he did a completely immoral and unethical thing there, but I don’t think anything he did was illegal, and the last thing I’d want is for a shaky lawsuit to be brought against him and then have to deal with him *winning.*
Like, dear god, can you imagine the self-satisfaction?
I’m hoping an end result from this is the price going back to market rate, though. I’m not sure how that would work? Maybe void in corporate leadership something something HHS something something CONSCIENCE OF THE WORLD AT LARGE?
One possibility suggested by the Bloomberg article is that, if convicted (?), he’d no longer be able to run a publicly held company, which might lead to his company folding depending on how much it depends on investors (sounds like it very much depends on investors) which would lead to a sale of assets, including patents.
So the patent would get sold, hopefully to someone with more scruples? And they’d revert the pricing structure?
/notabusinessperson
can we get a public finding on who exactly these investors are, I think that would be v. interesting
Thankfully a little while after Shkreli jacked up the prices, another company started offering an alternative medication that treats toxoplasmosis for $1 per pill.
http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/riv…
Thank God.
I love securities law. I’m positive that all the worst, most sociopathic entitled assholes in the world have violated it at some point, and it’s only a matter of finding out how.
That face behind bars should be in the dictionary next to “schadenfreude”
I saw a tweet about it and literally did a little dance at my desk. NOT TO BE MEAN but I was just thinking last night (in the shower, where these thoughts occur) that no amount of money in the world would ever entice me to want to like, have a conversation with him.
An article for those interested: http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2015-martin-shk…
Oh, I’d like to have a conversation with him. Definitely. A very loud, short, and violent conversation.
And I’d pay lots of money to observe CleverManka’s conversation with him. While cheering and applauding.
I’m imagining the cell from Jessica Jones. I’m scaring myself a little – the image is rather satisfying.
This guy would have made a perfect villain on Leverage.
OMG YES.
I keep petitioning John Rogers to let me write a Leverage Christmas Special comic book, where they team up with the RZA and Bill Murray to steal the Wu-Tang album back and save Christmas.
He hasn’t responded yet, but I can sense that he is coming around.
I would pay $15 this, and I don’t really know what Leverage is
(I wikipedia’d it and it is perfect for this situation)
You don’t have to wait for him, just write it and put it up on Archive of Our Own
but I also want to be validated by important people 🙁
fuck the feds are totally gonna get the Wu-Tang secret out of this guy I bet he cracks like an egg
COULD not be happier. His bail should be, like, 15 billion dollars. Oh, you can’t afford that? OH, HOW SAD THAT MUST BE FOR YOU.
(Yes, I am aware that that is not likely to happen.)
and they should make him pay $750 for toothpaste or cheetos or whatever
my head would explode from sheer joy
Oh and in case anyone is interested! It’s apparently like FOR REAL securities fraud, like telling an investor your fund has thirty-five million dollars in it when it actually has seven hundred dollars in it.
https://twitter.com/tomgara/status/67752159555291…
YESSSSSS SLAM DUNK CASE
Now all we need is proof that Shkreli used ill-gotten money to purchase the Wu-Tang album, and the Feds can seize it with Civil Asset Forfeiture.
Unrelated, but I can never see his name without reading it as Skrillex at first.
i’m on a train right now and i actually read the Martin Shkreli news out loud to the 3 other passengers in the compartment and they clapped and cheered & my best friend, whose roommate is an AIDS patient, just sent me a vine of both of them doing a jig in the living room. SO MUCH JOY GOING AROUND its so wonderful
I kind of want to do a little dance of glee myself. This is a Good Day for humanity.
Fashion Santa! All of the teachers at my school are obsessed! Some even made the trek out to the mall and apparently is was WORTH IT!
It is SO Yorkdale, it is the most Yorkdale of all things, and I love it. It is ALSO kind of YorkVILLE, weirdly.
All of my facebook friends who have the slightest tendency towards cisdudes are quite interested in Fashion Santa. (Including myself!)
My best friend knows the Confederate furry from that Buzzfeed article! She said she keeps thinking about defriending him but can’t bring herself to look away from the trainwreck.
Ok, pack it in. Somebody flag down an asteroid. Humanity had a good run
oh thank god I was hoping this would make an appearance, this is the best punchline in the world
also shut the fuck up Pinkie Pie would want NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU she is love and fun ponysonified (barf)
Oh my god I know the guy that does these comics! He is THE WORST. I had to unfollow him on Facebook it was just Too Much.
Everyone has that one guy on their Facebook.
Mine regularly makes his profile pictures ones of him with strippers. He has a daughter who he barely ever sees.
As the Confederate furry’s face is not visible in the picture, I can only assume that he is open about his interests to the people in his life. Which, on the one hand, is admirable – kinkshaming is bad! Be proud of your desires! – but on the other, if I was a Confederate furry it would be my hugely secret shame and the thought of anyone recognising me would send me into a total panic.
I haven’t felt such schadenfreude since Bernie Madoff went to prison. I feel like a bad person for celebrating someone’s downfall…but not bad enough to not celebrate.
Remember Jesus kicking the money changers out of the temple. Feel like that. 🙂
Let’s all go to hell together, bb.
Eh, he’s facing criminal charges for a crime he committed. You’re not celebrating violence being done upon him, though that would be understandable if wrong in his case, just him getting some small measure of the justice he deserves. Nothing wrong with that.
I will never be able to take seriously anyone who has actually read “Lolita” and thinks it “celebrates” sexual abuse. I said this on Twitter: plenty of novels narrated in the first-person leave readers unsure what to think about that character. “Lolita’ isn’t one of them. Also “Pnin”??????? That’s like thinking The Eagles were the best band of the ’70s. Oh wait.
You think that because I enjoy you that I will not ban your IP for Eagles snark, but you are VERY WRONG.
In my experience 99% of the people who take that position have not read the book, which is perfectly clear that Humbert Humbert is a rapist. I also read (although I can’t remember where, so take it with a grain of salt) that Nabakov asked that the cover of the book not depict a little girl because he didn’t want it to sexualize the character. Of course, this request has been repeatedly ignored.
Yes, I’ve read that too. Along with a depressing round up of every cover since its release, the vast majority of which are sexualised pictures of little girls.
Right? Nabokov is NOT COY about what’s going on in that book.
The whole thing is framed as Humbert defending his actions on trial. Because he, you know, has to defend them. Because they’re self-evidently bloody evil! Yeah, the book is masterful at drawing you into his deceit and having moments where you almost sympathise because he’s a manipulator. But it always jolts you right back out into being sickened by that.
Unless, I suppose, you’re one of the many people inclined to justify abuse by “cultured” men against young girls to begin with. Ugh.
When I first bought the book I chose my edition partly for the annotation and partly because it didn’t have a pair of coyly smiling lips on the cover like the other edition on the shelf. *shudders*
Mine, from a reputable, big name publisher, as an “arty” edition, has the head and shoulders of a very young girl drawn WITH NO SHIRT ON “secuctively” eating an apple. Like, LOOK at this thing: http://flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Lo…
Even the quote on this is grody. I hate it.
Wow that quote is seriously gross
A very good test of someone’s character is to ask them what they think is going on in Lolita. See this paragraph from Robert McCrum’s entry for it in The Guardian’s ‘100 Best Novels’ series:
‘Although we see him drugging the love object of his dreams, Humbert is hardly debauching an innocent. In a twist that makes for uncomfortable reading in the context of contemporary anxieties about child abuse, Nabokov establishes that Lolita is sexually precocious already. When it comes to the moment when she and Humbert are “technically lovers”, it was, in Nabokov’s brilliant and clinical reversal, “she who seduced me”.’
So now we know Robert McCrum a) didn’t get it and b) is a terrible person.
Yeah, a weird and I think kind of fascinating thing about Lolita is that it does what all the other white male novels do — makes you sympathize from the perspective of the white dude who feels entitled to sex — but then simultaneously makes that unquestionably vile.
It’s like this weird, brilliant Trojan horse of a book. “Oh, you’re really into feverish, obsessive romance with young women? Here, I’ve got a book for you right here, it’s right up your alley.”
Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. Also that Robert McCrum probably shouldn’t be writing about books if he doesn’t even get the concept of an unreliable narrator.
‘McCrum was editorial director at Faber & Faber from 1979 to 1989 and editor-in-chief there from 1990 to 1996. He served as literary editor of The Observer for more than ten years.’
*long, exhausted sigh*
gross gross gross gross gross
I didn’t realize there were people who go around the world who actually think Lolita is on some level a romantic tale. Jfc.
They’re probably shipping Killgrave and Jessica too.
or Watson and Mary
/sorry not sorry
I sincerely hope you’re joking.
I say this as someone who’s gone to five Sherlock cons and just watched episode ten of Jessica Jones last night.
Those are not remotely comparable relationships.
Well, yeah.
or Harry/Hermione.
I read Lolita at a really young age and I didn’t get it at all. Then i re-read it 2 years ago and it killed me. It was so cruel. SO CRUEL. How you can miss that this poor girl is trafficked all over and told she’ll never get free and it’s her fault anyway, and you know she’s crying constantly, and trying to get other people to be between him and her and fighting back, and the narrator is just like, “oh she’s sulky sometimes and spoiled (you know when I’m raping her across america)” and “how nice it was when she was nice to me (so I didn’t starve or beat her)”. It’s really really clear that Nabokov was deep inside those parentheses, and showing us precisely what this man is doing to this poor child… and showing how her mom is such a tragic monstrous figure who thinks she can use her daughter as bait, and that shows such desperation…ugh. Poor Dolly.
And then you get people who are like, what a tacky little tease she is! This book is definitely the litmus test of why there are so many rapists who think, “oh yeah everyone else is fine with this too, right?”
The Grauniad has a huge blindspot for gross opinions if they’re couched around Art. There were a lot of Woody Allen defenses last year that boiled down to ‘but movies!!1’
<barf>
Speaking of Lolita: Rebecca Solnit continues to be the best. http://lithub.com/men-explain-lolita-to-me/
goddamn that is some A+++++ writing
My god, that was excellent. Thanks so much for posting that.
Came here to post this article, which I just finished. She is amazing!!
I am just one big heart eyes emoji at this essay right now.
ETA: took a while to realise that Lol is also heart eyes. That was unintended.
Oh man, that reminded me that Scott Adams is a person who exists and has access to lots and lots of public space in which to have terrible opinions.
YES. I agree. I think Lolita is a magnificent book, in part because of how it BOTH imagines how a child-rapist justifies/imagines himself AND shows just how loathsome and horrifying the rapist and his self-justification are.
People tend to separate the beauty/language of the book from the horror of it, but for me they are one and the same. I once heard someone call Lolita a ‘one way ticket to gaslight hell’ and that seems exactly right to me. It’s destabilizing to the point of being nauseating, an experience that in some small way gives the reader a taste of the manipulation poor Dolores is experiencing 24/7.
Thank you. <3
I appreciate Lolita. I get Lolita. But it also makes me feel queasy and gross and I hate it. I am ok being in the camp of people who don’t celebrate this novel.
Edit: But please, I appreciate it. It just made me feel awful reading it.
Oh, just checked the NY TImes and saw the new detainee scandal.
I am really enjoying Mr. Pool World. So incensed about a perceived misnomer that he decided the only reasonable action was to park himself on a highway median, but sensible enough to bring a camp chair because it’s probably hot out and he wants to preserve his energy.
He is a DELIGHT.
This reminds me of when I was driving home once and there was a large-ish group of people (maybe 10-15) standing at an intersection holding up huge signs protesting the Iran deal. This would not be weird if I lived in D.C., I guess, but I live in Durham, North Carolina, and the intersection was one between a drugstore and a waffle house…thirty miles from even the STATE capital, let alone any federal building. I understand your strong feelings, friends, but why here???
Is this over by Southpoint? That’s so weird. Although the weirdest place that I have seen protesters was next to Brightleaf square. I think they were protesting Israel? Or something?
Yeah, Brightleaf would also be a bizarre place to protest. I get on Duke’s campus maybe, but why a shopping center…?
Also, I said this to the commenter above, but I had no idea there were other Durham toasties! We should have brunch sometime!
Other Durham toastie and I are actually IRL friends and major fans of brunch! I would be thrilled to have a Durham toastie brunch some time after the holidays! (I suspect LadyEve would also not object to brunch.)
Could this be expanded to a Triangle-area brunch? 🙂 (Raleigh here)
I don’t see why not! 😉
Yes absolutely! If any of y’all are on Twitter, please feel free to DM me and we can get a group together sometime in January! Raleigh has some GREAT brunch spots.
ETA: Twitter @Safvn, same as here
I do not have Twitter and miiiiiiiight have sent you a Facebook friend request, which you are welcome to ignore if I got a little too excited about my Google skills.
Yay! My twitter is my real name, so I’ll not post it here, but I’ll follow you when I get back to my laptop tonight.
There was an anti-Iraq war protest group that would convene outside my city library every single Wednesday evening for the 7 years I lived there (I think they started long before that though). Rain or shine, they were there. I admire their dedication, but other than the fact that you can drop your mail-in ballots off at election time there at the library, it’s a quiet suburb, 45 minutes from our state capital. I was never quite sure it was the best place to be carrying that protest out.
It’s not just that it’s a misnomer its a reminder that they keep multiton social whale isolated in those swimming pools.
Yeah, I definitely got the sense this was more a protest of the living conditions of the animals there.
Poor Mulder had his harbls removed on Tuesday. He’s in a soft cone now, and is running around the house like a hyperactive, angry flower.
Here he is in a rare moment of recumbence, after getting a bit of kitty morphine:
HE LOOKS SO SOFT but he must not be touched, poor kitty must be allowed to sleep while he can. But his softness is noted.
His fur is the softest, silkiest fur I’ve ever encountered on any cat, ever. Also, he loves to be petted even now when he’s not feeling great. Mostly he wants us to scratch his back and rub his belly, since he can’t get to either.
Still manages to be beautifully sleek and photogenic, tho.
Respect to your pet name, which I hope is x-files based.
It is. We are trying to convince a friend to adopt a cat and name it Scully. No luck so far.
My cat is actually named Scully!
Hopefully Mulder feels better soon!
Scully is an excellent cat. A+, would view again.
“like a hyperactive, angry flower” A+ description
I once had a family cat that had to wear a cone, and unfortunately it wasn’t a soft cone (which I didn’t know existed until now!). Poor thing was so miserable — couldn’t use his whiskers to measure the space around him, so he was constantly knocking his cone against doorframes and such.
Last time one of my kittehs was beconed (of shame), I kept singing the “Lonely Little Petunia” song at him because none of the other cats wanted anything to do with him. Poor little guy.
Our other cat, Fred, is terrified of the flower-cone. As is Beans, our reasonably-sized dog.
Just wanted to let you know that I had to google “harbls”. Thank you for inspiring me to never stop learning!!!
okay
okay
is anyone else seeing Star Wars tonight
I feel like a kid on Xmas, MrChouffe and I are wearing our “other” wedding rings (mine says “I Love You,” his says “I Know”), you guys IT’S STAR WARS DAAAAAYYYYY
I actually woke up before my alarm went off yesterday because “It’s STAR WARS day!!!” was on repeat in my head. And it was great! Not without flaws, but very, VERY satisfying, and I basically sat there with a grin on my face for at least 2 hours out of the running time.
Me!
But… I think I’ve only seen 1 1/2 other Star Wars movies and was definitely stoned for part of that experience, and my husband is very excited about tonight and I’m not sure I can adequately share in his joy/be there for him. I want to want to see it, though.
We are going Monday. *happy wriggle*
I have to wait A WHOLE WEEK. Christmas Day, taking the train to DC for Jewish Christmas of Star Wars and Chinese food with my dad. But I don’t want to waaaaiit.
I am!
And I dressed up like a Jedi for work today and so far three people have seen me and they all said “Oh, is that tonight?” so I am disappointed in my coworkers.
But I have tickets to see it on the IMAX at the Air and Space Museum, so nothing can keep me down for too long.
Damn, I work just down the Mall from the Air and Space Museum and wish I’d known this! I’m seeing it Saturday at Gallery Place though, so I’m pumped!
I have sent no less than 7 all-caps texts because I am HYPED AS FUCK and it is STAR WARS DAY.
I AM BOUNCING LIKE A SMALL CHILD
BOUNCING
CANNOT CONCENTRATE ON WORK
WORK IS DUMB STAR WARS IS LOVE STAR WARS IS LIFE
I FEEL LIKE WE ARE KINDRED TODAY
KIN IN THE FORCE
Seriously, how can I be expected to work when I am seeing Star Wars in less than 10 hours?
SEVEN HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES
AGHH I HAVE TO WAIT 12 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES IT IS SO FAR AWAY WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF
Yep!
Yeah! I got in early today so I can leave work at 4.15 to go see it! I’m also wearing a black dress covered entirely in tiny metallic stars. I’m five months pregnant so this also has the added benefit of making my bump look a bit like a disco ball. DISCO STAR WARS.
Now I have no choice but to link to the 1970s French disco Star Wars TV show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnAvtozSnN8
that is amazing
you are amazing
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STAR WARS
I’m seeing it Saturday and I’m so scared of getting spoiled!! Apparently spoilers are already floating around, so I’m definitely avoiding Reddit, Youtube, unmoderated comments sections… I haven’t even watched the full trailer (I did watch the teasers, though), pretty proud of myself.
And ultimately, it doesn’t matter that much if I do get spoiled (mainly because I have no investment in the new characters yet and don’t even know who is who), but still! It’s the concept of the matter.
Your rings!!!!
My husband is not super into seeing a Star War (a defect of his kind) and we’re juggling Christmas company starting soon so I’m not going to see it for one million years. Wait, unless some of my Christmas company will go with me! HM.
We got them as a joke about a month before the wedding, well after our actual rings were in hand. 🙂
I wouldn’t judge in the slightest if they were your actual wedding rings.
If they were of higher quality i.e. not turning my whole hand green, it might have been seriously discussed
Happy Star Wars Day to all you lucky folk who get to see it today/soon! It’s not even ON the local theatre’s schedule yet – fingers crossed for January!
MEEEEEEE! My girlfriend is coming into town today and we are going to see it on the IMAX screen tonight and I am SO HYPED. I also woke up far too early this morning utterly unable to sleep because of the excitement. We are dressing up and I am SO EXCITED WHY IS WORK NOT DONE YET.
My horrible soon-to-be-ex boss posted on Facebook about how she doesn’t “get” Star Wars like it was some morally superior stance, and I was like omg this explains so much, you haven’t had a soul this whole time.
There are a shocking number of people in my life who don’t like/don’t get/don’t have any interest in Star Wars, and life is a rich tapestry, sure, but they reeeHEEEEALLY act like they’re obviously way more, I don’t know, sophisticated? than us peons who like starships and beepy droids and, oh yeah, monomyths of good vs evil
I’m getting Star Wars condescension from people who are fans of things that are just as much popcorn crap as Star Wars, and arggghhhh. Some person who’s, I dunno, an opera fan comes after my Star Wars, that’s…fine but you do not get to be a connoisseur of glittery vampires and/or a fifth-grader’s imagination of BDSM and sit there and give me shit about liking samurai space cowboys, we are the same, you and I.
I fucking love opera and all, but they are not known for their brilliant storylines.
No no, we’re much better than them.
I wish I could believe this, but in my heart of hearts I know it to not be the case.
we are going tonight! 7:30 pm!
i have had star wars-related stress dreams for three consecutive nights (the line, and not being able to buy fried chicken from the fried chicken place by the theater; watching the movie from the very first row; walking into the movie theater only to find out it is a theater theater with old tvs and sofas sprinkled throughout) and at this point i am just as excited to go through the line as i am to watch the movie so i can get one goddamn night of restful sleep
I wish I was seeing Star Wars tonight but not until Saturday. Soooo far away.
I keep thinking about wearing my Jedi bathrobe when we go cause it’s great but it is also really obviously a bathrobe.
WEAR THE BATHROBE
100% would attend with you in a bathrobe, er, if I had one, and also if we lived near each other.
Wear the bathrobe! I am wearing PJ pants to the theater tonight, because I am adult and I can do whatever I want. If I had a Jedi bathrobe I guaran-damn-tee that I would wear it to the movie.
I feel like everyone is really talking me into the bathrobe (what I wanted all along obviously).
I’m seeing it tomorrow, bright at early! I can’t WAIT, my mother is taking the day off work, my BFF is coming along, it’s our first real family outing in aaaages. It’s a generational thing in my family- my grandpa and Mam went to see it together and both loved it, so now I get to watch it with her!
She bought Star Wars PJs to celebrate. We’re not really “doing” Christmas this year, so it really does feel like we’re celebrating early.
Taking my bf tonight as sort of an early Christmas present. He has been excited for months and months. 😉
Boyfriend got tickets for the 7:30 PM show, I am super excited!
7:00pm tonight!!! I’m so excited. My husband and I are going to cry as soon as the lights go down.
I have now seen it. It was so good.
I was a fool.
ONE OF US, ONE OF US
(it was SO good, wasn’t it??)
it was SO good. I loooved her! I loved him! I loved it all!
This is everything. <3
I have watched up through episode 4 of the Expanse (3 and 4 are streaming on Syfy.com and On Demand) and I am so happy. They are really nailing it. Everything they have changed from the books makes so much sense. Amos! Amos is so great.
Man, SyFy is just knocking it out of the park this month. Childhood’s End is also amazing.
I’m interested, through changing Stormgren from the UN Secretary General to a Middle American farming everyman sounds like a bad sign.
I marathoned episodes 2-4 last night and I AM SO HOOKED!! I love what they’re doing with the show, & the special effects are on point. I’m so happy to have a proper sci-fi show to watch again :’)
I’ve recorded the episodes they’ve aired, can’t wait to dig in to them. Between this and Star Wars, it’s a great time to be a nerd.
Did anyone catch the first (surprise!) episode of The Magicians on Syfy??
I binged 2-4 last night. That 4th episode! I haven’t read the books, but probably will.
I know this was a few days ago but DJ Khaled getting lost on a Jet Ski was one of the most harrowing things I have seen here in 2K15.
so many people were talking about that wondering why he would bother to snapchat the whole thing if he was really at risk and I’m like why wouldn’t you??? It’s amazing. Truly one of the greatest stories of our time.
Truly sometimes you have to take a risk for wonderful storytelling. His entire snapchat is really just the most motivational thing.
Re: the Buzzfeed list
Do you ever think about the people who go to work in factories that make pony-play and vagankle toys? Is it like RealDoll workshop, where people are committed to the products they’re making, or is it another workaday place? ‘Whelp, gotta go to bed early, Don’s out sick and I gotta pull a double to cover his spot on the human bridle line tomorrow.’ It fascinates me.
more than anything I want to photograph the assembly line at the foot vagina factory
instant Walker Evans of the 21st century, right there
I have no idea about that, but I do know that an acquaintance of mine really was trying to get a job at a local dildo factory because it was supposed to be very laid back and well-paid. According to him, his friends were raking in a living wage while watching cartoons and leisurely pouring silicon into molds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Don’t know about sex toy stuff, but I remember reading an article a few years ago where they interviewed workers at Chinese factories which had made various Christmas tat fads, and mostly they were just baffled as to what the products were for, and why anyone would want them.
People can become inured to just about anything. I had a job in my early twenties as a child care worker for kids and teens in group homes for developmentally disabled people with behavioral disorders, which included a couple of residents who would consume their own waste products if not closely supervised and one who would try to put literally anything and everything in his anus, including full-sized framed pictures. After a while, it was just like, “Welp, time to break out the rubber gloves and cleaning/disinfectant solution again.”
I would imagine that, if you work in a factory long enough, you become completely blase eventually about whatever it is you’re making. Just another day at the dildo press.
Can I just say, I have never been more thankful for a good link roundup as I am officially in pre-Star Wars//holiday travel mode. That is, I will make your deadlines and attend your meetings but there will be ZERO personal initiative today and LOTS of reading the internet. Hooray!
On a completely different note, I had no idea about the TRC in Canada before seeing that link, and am so far so impressed with the clarity and lack of nonsense in the writing, especially on such a terrible topic coming from a government commission. Thanks for educating me.
That commission is pulling zero punches. They used the word genocide* in the first page of the preliminary report.
*and rightly so
Some additional Baltimore updates, from someone who lives there:
-here’s your general reminder that last April’s protests did not lead to the day of property destruction; instead it stemmed from the Baltimore Police Dept & the government agencies deciding to shut schools down while simultaneously shutting down any way for students attending 4 high schools to go home & approaching them with riot gear. Other factors that day: BPD announcing that it had received a “credible threat” that Baltimore gangs were going to unite to attack BPD (which has since been investigated and debunked by the FBI); claims that high school students were going to have a “purge” day.
–Kwame Rose & a young man named Melvin were arrested yesterday during the protests, for disoebying a lawful order and use of a bullhorn in.. a public space. Yeah.
There’s plenty of footage out there of their respective arrests, in case you are curious, but please don’t watch if you feel uncomfortable. The first link is significantly rougher than it should ever be for a kid standing on a sidewalk.
They were released last night with citations.
-a pretty good editorial by the Baltimore Sun, which goes over many of the revelations that the defense and prosecution made about the workings of the Baltimore Police Department that reflect extremely poorly on them, regardless of the result of the trial. I would recommend that if you’re interested in following any future proceedings on any of these cases in mainstream media, that you follow the Sun or the Baltimore CityPaper. Baynard Woods of the Guardian (he’s a Baltimore based dude) is doing an awesome job too.
Generally speaking, everything is pretty okay for right now. I was personally getting more worked up knowing that cops from around the metro area were coming into Baltimore City with riot gear and armored vehicles than knowing that my neighbors/fellow residents were planning to protest, but clearly ymmv. Many cable news networks clearly have differing views. o_O
√+
Can we talk, though about the Sun running that Dan Rodricks column called “What did I say? Officer Porter jury found itself in a briar patch”? Because Dan Rodricks is who he is, but newspapers still have editors, right? Someone who might just be passing by but have the power to say, you know, “why don’t we pump the brakes on the Uncle Remus here, you guys?”
*facepalm* out of all of the metaphors in the world..
Thank you for gathering all of this in one place.
You’re welcome! I have been following everything pretty closely for obvious reasons, but it’s been pretty clear to me that some of the finer nuances of what’s happened have not been making it outside of the Baltimore metro area. At the very least, I want to signal boost some of these pieces of information.
ALSO: one local public health professor, Dr. Lawrence Brown at Morgan State, has worked with a class to prepare a trauma-informed* set of recommendations on how city agencies & law enforcement could prepare for verdicts in other contentious cases involving extrajudicial deaths.
ETA: I really appreciated this as an alternative to just lining up cops in riot gear (proven *worst* practice) whenever you think something is going to go pear-shaped.
*concept I’ve seen initially in the public health field that acknowledges that service providers, educators, etc. should work with and respond to people with a mindfulness that their actions may be understood as reactions to personal traumas
As a Baltimore ex-pat living in Boston, I thank you and second the shout-out to the CItypaper. They’ve been doing some exemplary coverage of this issue.
wait, there are other baltimore toasties?!
Thanks, I was hoping you’d weigh in — I appreciate your commentary and links.
♬Take a chance – make it happen♬
Sorry this is what happens when I think about Foxwoods. That joke was A++, though.
Spin the wheel, round and round we gooooo.
God I loved that song as a kid.
Oh man. I’ve just been transported back to Rhode Island circa 1999. I didn’t even know my subconscious was still holding onto that song.
POP THE CORK, FINGERS SNAPPIN’
Is this a safe place to admit that I have loved Star Wars my whole life, but also have never actually seen Empire Strikes Back all the way through
My husband judged me HARD for it this morning so I’m feeling a little sensitive
I’ve never actually seen the scene where Han Solo gets frozen in carbonite (and yeah, that includes the iconic “I love you.” “I know.”) because it’s too scary. It terrified me as a child. Even though I knew he’d be fine because I actually saw Return of the Jedi first (which took a few attempts, because I ran out of the room crying when the droids where being tortured in the beginning). If I actually saw it now for the first time it would probably be fine, but it’s so imprinted in my mind as the scariest thing ever that I still can’t watch it. And my husband definitely makes fun of me for it.
Same! I think I also got really grossed out by the Tauntaun scene at the beginning of the movie, and would sort of wander off so I didn’t have to see the cutting-open bit and just not come back for a while.
The major thing I took away from my re-watch of the original trilogy is that there should be a Droid Liberation Front. They have feelings! They have personalities! They feel pain! They apparently have enough free will that they require a bolt to keep them from fleeing!
The Society for the Promotion of Droid Welfare
SPDW
eh needs some work
I’m trying really hard not to judge you but I am judging you a little bit, but also you love Star Wars so we’re all brothers and sisters in Star Wars.
I have had so many men explain to me (IN DETAIL, SO MUCH DETAIL) that Empire Strikes Back is the best one, and I still can’t be bothered to sit through it. Return of the Jedi forever.
I mean, I first watched these movies when I was like 5 years old – of course I’m going to gravitate to the movie that has adorable living teddy bears in it!
Yes, Return of the Jedi is the best. Also I saw that one first for some reason and because of that I always had a crush on Luke (cause he’s cool in that one).
I for one do NOT believe you have to have seen every movie a bazillion times and analyzed the minutiae of every word/scene to be a true fan. True Star Wars love transcends that shit 🙂
Totally agree! To this DAY I can still scream-complain with the best of them about goddamn George Lucas ret-conning Hayden Christensen in the ghosts at the end of Return of the Jedi – I don’t have to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the movies for that to send me into a frothing rage.
UGH
GOD
STUPID
RETCON
HAYDEN
CHRISTIANSEN
Look up the “despecialized” Star Wars movies. A super fan painstakingly reconstructed the originals and its…just as good as you think it is.
There are several locations you can acquire them, but none of them are up for purchase.
Google should do the trick as I can’t remember the name of the group who did it.
Well that was mean of him! He has an opportunity to be the person you see it with entirely for the very first time! You should remind him of that and threaten to have your first experience with a good friend or family member instead. Maybe that will get him to back off his judgyness.
So true, haha! And in his defense, he wasn’t REALLY judging me, it was the same sort of “wait, WHAT” he gave me when I told him I’d never seen Die Hard.
We’re also definitely watching Empire tonight, don’t think I have a choice in the matter 🙂
This year I saw, for the first time, the following movies: Die Hard, Jurassic Park, and Gremlins. I am 36 years old.
Jurassic Park holds up so well, though.
I can certainly see why it would have been cool to watch in the theater.
I was 11 when it came out and went to see it in the theater. I only made it through the first 1/3 and then sat in the lobby for the rest of the movie waiting for my parents. I still haven’t seen the whole movie…
I have not seen any of those. (I am 26, though, so maybe it’s more acceptable.) Nor have I seen Ghostbusters.
I, honestly, am not sure how anyone too young to see the originals in theaters HAS seen all the Star Wars movies all the way through, unless their friends and family deliberately planned a watchathon. The rest of us simply absorbed them by osmosis when they played back to back repeatedly on Christmas Day for the last few decades.
My brother is 11 years older than me and was obsessed. I’m pretty sure that Return of the Jedi was the first movie I ever saw in a movie theater because there was no way in hell he’d have missed it. (I actually kind of vaguely remembered it for a long time, and when “seeing it for the first time” in middle school was extremely confused because it was deeply familiar but I had no idea why.)
I think I am A Young (at least in the context of here/my job). When I was 6 (so ’95), my parents bought VHS copies of the original trilogy – not sure why, in retrospect, neither of them were huge fans. I wore those tapes out in three years, and then in ’98 they bought this set (and man, it is bizarre how easy it was to find that, and how vividly I remember that gold and black box). I was wearing those out by ’02, which was also when we bought our first video game console with a built-in DVD player, so we picked up DVDs of the trilogy. (Sidenote: I argued for hours with my father after watching the Phantom Menace the year before. I thought it was great; he…disagreed. I was also 12, read Star Wars reference books for fun, and any list of things I loved most would have been in the triple-digits before we got to any silly non-Star Wars things, like my family.) So anyways, that’s how.
I had a different box-set of VHS! It has the iconic image of all of them with Luke centered and lightsaber raised.
The Special Edition theatrical re-release, for me! I was 11, which I believe is exactly the right age to see Star Wars.
I owned them all on VHS as a kid and watched them many times.
In my mind the reason we got the VHS was so I could watch Star Wars roughly every day the summer before the first grade. I know this isn’t true as I know my tv time was limited but that’s how my memory runs.
I remember my dad setting up a VHS marathon of the three movies a couple of times on slow Saturdays. I’m sure that’s part of why I never made it through Empire – I usually watched A New Hope with excitement and interest, drifted until I eventually took a nap during Empire, waking up just when Han Solo got encased in carbonite, then perked up at all the weird creatures in Jabba’s palace and the anticipation of IMMINENT EWOKS.
*whispers* I have seen zero of the Star Wars (not one single war, none of them), so you shall get zero judgement from me.
I couldn’t watch it for years because the night we rented it I came down with a really spectacular case of little-kid flu with the unexpectedly throwing up and everything. After that I associate seeing Degobah with feeling really, really bad for the next four years or so.
I will now attempt to put all the peanut butter people completely out of my memory.
But now you put them back in my memory.
Me too
Why
You pretend they’re not there, you try to forget, you try not to think about them, but just out of sight the peanut butter people remain, slowly slathering themselves, staring fixedly at you, even through the walls. they’re coming, now.
they’re coming
goddammit no stop why
they slop towards you, an unsteady infant’s toddling, reaching out greasy fingers. soon you will know what it is to feel aah. it is time
Where your eyes don’t go
The peanut butter people wave their gooey arms
And do a parody of each unconscious thing you do
you fucking people
oh my god
I thought the original song was terrifying
I was but a naive child
Bwahahaha
A++ TMBG reference
It’s peanut butter jelly time!
Please send productivity vibes at me, Toasts? I have a lot of annoying work things to do in the next two days. Gracias, merci, & etc
vibes vibes vibes! i recommend 11 minute sprints and then 2 minute breaks.
Toasts… I went on a date last night. More in the reply bc I don’t want to be super OT and long in a link roundup, but I could use some good words. Spoiler alert: a white cis hetero male said he doesn’t “see gender” after debating me on my being a feminist.
Before I go any further, let me just say I have really thrown myself into dating since the Great Ghosting of Fall 2015, and I decided that if I’m going to be on all these apps I’m going to be up front about the fact that even if I look cute and smiley in my pictures, I’m smart and I’m a feminist (let’s not even talk about how dumb it is that I feel I have to warn men my smile is backed with smarts and an understanding of gender politics).
So this guy debated me on everything the whole night (“I just love talking about this with you”), told me HE DOESN’T “SEE GENDER”, that he agrees feminism is important “but we don’t need to label it that way” because feminists are all about “the advancement of women” (Uh yes? But not at the expense of anyone else…. AHEM), didn’t I really wish he would pay for everything, and that men aren’t going to read my bio about me being a feminist bc they are shallow and that’s not why they want to go out with me. Those are just the cherries on top of the debate sundae.
And I’m mad at myself that I sat there and tried to have a conversation with him about it (NICE GIRL ALERT… still trying to unlearn that) when all I wanted to do was throw some literature in his face and leave.
I told him to read Bad Feminist, I told him he was coming from a point of immense privilege to be able to live in a world where he doesn’t “see gender”, I told him that gender inequality puts unfair expectations on men too, that feminism isn’t about advancing women ahead of others but just giving them the same rights that men already have, that I expect when I declare I am a feminist that I will be paying for my drinks (in the end he did and I’m really mad about that and I tried to find him on Venmo this morning to send him the money for them). I also said “I didn’t really bring any notes with me to this date to have a philosophical debate about feminism with you”. And I was nice and cheerful most of time because that’s how I’ve been conditioned to be and I’m so mad about that!
I’m exhausted. And I feel like the more I learn, the more educated I become and aware and ambitious and everything that I really love about myself in my 20s… the less I will meet anyone who likes that in me.
Do you have any GOOD stories of meeting someone who saw that in you and loved it? Do you have any stories of men who understand feminism and gender politics? Do you have any cat pictures?
<3
Oh gosh, the “I love debating this with you” men. Because I suddenly realized that whenever I’ve had this said to me, it’s always been a man and always about something related to feminism/gender/sexism/etc. They “love” it, and you’re left there incredibly uncomfortable and never having wanted to have this debate, what IS that???
Here, have a picture of my teeny tiny Kit loafing:
YES!!! You are so right about that. Ugh 🙁
And even as you’re debating with them you know none of it is sinking in, so it’s doubly frustrating. Oh the futility of it all!
Hiiii Kit! So soft, so cute, so much loaf <3
When MrChouffe and I had been dating for a few months, we were in the car heading to the local zoo for its annual Christmas lights and a piece came on NPR about white men starting the video game of life in God Mode, and I was such a baby feminist at the time and was just learning about intersectionality and when he started nodding and agreeing and then we had a really amazing conversation about it, and he told me he really admired my passion and principles. Shortly thereafter, he did a couple of significant things that really helped me advance my career. THAT, friends, was when I knew I’d marry him.
This is really lovely! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Yes, they are out there! I was ranting to my sweetie once about some TV show handing out female characters like video game rewards (can’t remember which one – too many), and he stopped me and asked me to explain the ‘agency’ concept in more detail. He listened intently, nodded, and then said quite possibly the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me: “I always sound smarter when I repeat things you say.” So he’s learning, and he’s repeating to others!
Oh! Oh! Was it a piece talking about Scalzi’s essay? I love that essay.
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/15/straight-wh…
I feel like it was? But I might be remembering my timelines wrong, because Scalzi’s essay came out five months after the conversation I’m thinking of UNLESS said conversation took place during the second winter we’d been dating, rather than the first.
Ugh, how gross. Honestly, it sounds like you handled this as well as could possibly be expected, I don’t think you should beat yourself up for not, like, flipping tables and punching him or whatever. The whole thing is a trap anyway, you’re nice about it and he brushes you off but if you had yelled at him or told him to go fuck himself, he would’ve dismissed you as “emotional” or “overreacting,” so it’s not like you can win. Dudes who “don’t see gender” (COME ON) are not even worth your time, especially not after the fact.
Someone who is not a sexist dillweed will, at a minimum, fucking LISTEN to you, even if he doesn’t 100% get it the first time around. And the more he listens, the more he WILL get it. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7 years now, since we were tiny college babies who didn’t know anything about anything, and it’s been really cool to see his understanding of feminist stuff expand over time, just through listening and being receptive to other people’s experiences. I very rarely have to explain why something upsets me anymore because he already gets it, and is upset with me. So yes! You will be fine! Being totally open about how you’re not willing to compromise on this shit is so cool and there are absolutely non-garbage men out there who will be into it.
Thank you so much for saying that bc honestly this whole morning I was miffed for not having done more. But also… what could I have done?! Gah. Very much a trap you can’t win either way.
Also I said this further down thread but after his comment about not seeing gender I said “ok well that’s sounding a lot like when people say they ‘dont see race'” and he immediately *assured* me that he sees race. And…. there are not enough gifs in this world to show my emotions at that moment.
I think you did fine but also in the future it’s totally ok to say, halfway through a drink or whenever, ‘gosh, it looks like this isn’t going to work out. Have a good night!’ and just leave. There’s no helping some people.
Yeah dude, it’s a trap for sure. The kind of person who is like, “just asking! Don’t get worked up about it! I’m just curious what you think”- they don’t give a fuck what you think, they just want to be right and make you upset and pat themselves on the back. It’s unlikely an hour with you will make that kind of dude get it.
I’d agree with a lot of commenters here, that you don’t really need to find a feminist man per se, just a man who listens to women. Which is hard, but it’s not impossible. This listening is more important than the labeling, because I’ve known men who call themselves feminists and can’t be bothered to listen to women at all. And I know other dudes who can’t really rally themselves to be on a particular team and would be wary of that label, but who treat all the women in their lives as real humans, to be fully listened to, respected and worked equally with. If you get yourself one of the second kinds, you can slowly use your misandrist agenda on them until they’re fully subdued by the evil secret feminist mission to cruelly let us all have equality in their lives, but you can’t do ANYTHING with the guy who thinks he’s feminist and is actually a misogynist.
you don’t really need to find a feminist man per se, just a man who listens to women
This. I find that (counterproductively?) I’m immediately wary of men on dating sites who call themselves “feminist.” Some men throw the word out there just because they think it’ll increase their odds of getting lucky. It’s easy to weed these guys out pretty quickly, but ugh.
I know plenty of good men who maybe have never thought of calling themselves “feminist” but who are great at listening to people and thinking seriously about points of view that are new to them. (Unsurprisingly, these men are never single for more than a femtosecond, even if this lovely trait is accompanied by very significant flaws.)
Did you ask him how he manages to be hetero without seeing gender? Seems like an impressive feat.
Ughhhhh. The only thing I can think of if someone tells you they “don’t see gender” again is to ask them how they know what pronouns to use for strangers? And then build from there.
Oh wow, it would brilliant to take that completely literally. “You don’t deserve gender? Oh wow, what’s the LIKE? Like, you literally didn’t think of me as female until I told you to? You call everyone “they” until you find out their pronouns? TELL ME MORE!”
Not only was I super-duper open about not just feminism, but misandry, in my last OKC profile – my main profile photo was a pic of me drinking from my Male Tears mug. I met a couple of dudes who were “into” my feminism, by which I mean they thought it appropriate to lecture me about feminism and intersectionality, and one guy in particular was maddeningly condescending (“Wow, you’ve heard of TERFs? You really HAVE done your reading!”). But then I met Beardo who was calm and quiet and happy to let me talk and rant and shares the most important of my beliefs and would never dream of “debating” feminism with me, or talking down to me and loves my Male Tears mug and gets the humor in my misandry (and understands that sometimes it’s not a joke) – so, it’s totally possible to be honest about who you are and what you are about in a dating profile and meet a quality person! You will have to do a lot of winnowing down, but better to meet one person who is a great fit than 25 dudes who rate as mediocre at best.
ew. i’m sorry. and i’ve been on that date. it sucks.
here is a picture of charlie trying to eat my christmas wreath pom poms.
This is EXACTLY what I needed (and your pom poms look excellent… that is on my to do list!).
He is a very handsome cat btw. What a debonair grey tuxedo!
I met my husband via online dating, and although I was not explicit about the feminism thing, I did have a hobby prominently listed that tends to hit a certain type of guy right in the masculinity (judo, which at the time I’d been doing for about 5 years). He thought it was awesome, did not make any “ha ha bet you can beat me up” comments, and has zero desire himself to ever participate in any sort of contact sport, ever. It did not even bother him that I could do more pushups than he could (he has since surpassed me, which I find annoying :P). I’ve found that him simply being secure in himself, with a deep belief which is basically instinctual that people should be treated equally, makes him a very good feminist/ally, although of course he is not perfect (not that any of us are)
We’ve been married for three years now and he still thinks it’s awesome that I throw people for fun, and he’s made a more explicit effort to be a good ally in his very male dominated field. (He caught his boss describing one team as woman dominated and pointed out that actually it was only 1/3 women, and cited that one study about how people percieve gender balance in groups. And he LISTENS) I’m super proud of him.
When I was about 27, I gave myself a gift. I promised myself I would never again go out with any man under 30. For me, men need that long, at minimum, to mature enough that I don’t feel obligated to wait and see if they grow out of any annoying attitudes. I did not want to educate the people I was dating. No patience for that. I wanted fully formed adults, dammit.
Men over 30 are not uniformly more mature. But the odds are so much better that men past 30 will respect and love you for your feminism.
So, I know that I’m very lucky, because I met my partner when I was 19 (he was 18) and he is awesome (I am constantly confused about how we were okay people that young) and we have been together for many years now.
He gets things wrong sometimes (as do I!), but whenever it happens he listens very carefully to my point of view and most often realizes that he was wrong about whatever feminism related view he was confused on. I never thought I would meet someone I want to stay with so young, and I of course don’t know the future, but years later he is still the only man who has never in the entire time I’ve known him made me feel stupid, crazy, or small.
They do exist, and there is no excuse for someone to be such an ass. I hope you find one for yourself!
My first (and only, to date) long term relationship was with a dude in college who I’d known since middle school. He was an African-American Studies major and I was reading a lot about feminism on the internet and we’d send each other articles about feminism and intersectionality and I think we both grew a lot together and learned a lot from each other. I never had to worry that he wouldn’t get it or that he’d look down on me. Eventually things didn’t work out between us but he’s still one of my best friends and still the first person I like to tell my encounters of casual racism or sexism to because I know he’ll understand.
Now I’m meeting new dudes in a new city and I’m unpleasantly surprised by much internalized misogyny a lot of guys carry around with them. I just dated a guy for two weeks and I keep thinking back to conversations we had where he’d say something questionable and I’d pause and brush it off because that’s my first instinct. And now I’m just like argh!! I should’ve called him out on that. So yeah, I’m kind of in the same boat as you right now.
That sounds absolutely exhausting and rage inducing. Here is a good male:
He may shout at me all the time and ask for attention, but he’s adorable and loves cuddling the most.
Think of the drinks he paid for as paying you for putting up with his bullshit. A one-time transaction you will never have to repeat.
DON’T FEEL BAD HE PAID FOR THE DRINKS. You earned them by putting up with his nonsense.
I have been largely surrounding myself with women the last year or two and the times I find myself in mixed groups and any convo comes up about feminist-related issues, I’m surprised anew at how even generally progressive men can be clueless about things that the women in my world take for granted as true. Not just clueless, but quick to argue or deny or ask for evidence. My evidence is that I, as woman, am goddam telling you so.
“after debating me on my being a feminist”
oh my god flames
flames on both sides of my face
I really cannot deal with people trying to tell me what’s going on in my own head and this would set me OFF.
“doesn’t see gender”
Is this like the progressive version of men who claim they don’t “see” mess? It’s still there, dude, attracting cockroaches.
Someone here made a great joke about not seeing gender months (maybe more than a year?) ago, and I can’t find it and it’s driving me crazy. Does anyone remember? It was in the format, “I don’t see gender, I . . . .”
Was it this one?
Laughing so hard at work I’m crying. Mallory is a goddamned treasure and I will go find some nice sub men to pull her Ice Queen sledge.
Yes, THANK YOU!
EVEN worse than that… I said “ok well that’s sounding a lot like when people say they ‘dont see race'” and he immediately *assured* me that he sees race.
AHHHHHH. Why didn’t I run screaming after that?!?!
I met my current fiance via online dating, and I definitely had my feminism pretty prominent in my profile.
Actually, early in my relationship with the future Mr. Mushkila, I was dating him and two other men who were both cool and interesting. None of them really mentioned feminism in our early dates, but were just generally decent people. When it did come up later in conversation, one of them borrowed my favorite feminist theory textbook. Another one mentioned on a date liking that he didn’t feel like he had to act out hyper-masculinity around me. It was good! Men like this do exist!
I noped my way out of so many dates though along the way with men who wanted to tell me how I was wrong about my beliefs/values. Your story reminds me of a particularly obnoxious date I had with a philosophy phd who was working as a journalist, and wanted to spend the entire evening arguing with me over my undergrad thesis on a gender-related topic. I wish I had just got up and left but I didn’t :-/
I wish it were as easy to nope out of a relationship with parents I’m financially dependent on as it is to nope out of a first date. My dad came by and asked what I was reading earlier, I listed a few things from this link roundup, and his look of incomprehension/anger/disgust made me suddenly consider moving in with my grandparents.
That Tracey Norman article was absolutely fascinating and she sounds like an amazing person. (Although, as always when reading about the fashion world, I’m horrified by some of the stuff that’s casually mentioned–losing several pounds in 2 weeks by walking around wrapped in plastic wrap and eating only popcorn??)
I loved that article, too – can’t you just imagine the biopic?
Uggh Toasties, as I was trudging to the bus stop this morning, late for work and generally feeling miserable, this grown man sitting in a parked car says to me “Excuse me!”
“Yeah?” I said, because I thought he maybe needed directions or something.
“It’s the Christmas season! You’re supposed to be happy! Why aren’t you smiling?”
I stared at him. And with all the contempt I could muster I said, “I don’t give a fuck” and walked away.
And then, thinking about the look on his face, then I smiled.
You are a hero because this is the kind of thing I would think about doing but would instead just give a weak sort of smile and walk away.
I normally would do that too! But I was exhausted and feeling like shit and late for work and here I thought I was maybe doing something nice for a stranger and then he told me to fucking smile and I just couldn’t suppress the fountain of rage.
I heart you.
Beautiful. Just beautiful. I am smiling right now imagining his face. Brava.
That was heroic! You are amazing!!
I love you.
Do you think he is going to recount this to one of his dumb male friends and they will all be “ugh some people?”. I’m writing that scene in my head and it adds a cherry to this perfect story.
Oh yeah, I am absolutely certain he is complaining about how he was JUST TRYING TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER or something.
“So much negativity in the world today. Sad.”
Anyway I hope that guy’s clothes dryer eats all his socks.
No, exactly half his socks, one of each pair.
I rarely get (or take notice of at least?) cat calls (blessed stars for that!) but the other day I got one that made me laugh as I walked down the street at the sheer bloody ridiculousness of it.
“Hey mama! Looking good, baby girl!”
Wait, am I a mama or a baby girl? Am I both? Is this some kind of horrifying, Ripley’s Believe it or Not story? (Granted, I didn’t start laughing until I was well past him, because I was in “I am not actually hearing you” mode in his presence.)
Omg, I’ve gotten that confusing combination of addresses too! And my internal response is always, “I am neither of those things.”
My all time favorite street harrassment/interaction:
Guy tries vociferously to get my attention.
Me ignoring him with my usual resting bitchface.
“Damn, you have a stone cold poker face.”
I keep ignoring him.
On Tuesday I was walking down main street in my city of residence and a man walking the other way was pointing out a shirt in a window (of a lovely locally owned business) to his female companion. I don’t remember what the shirt said, but it somehow referenced the name of our fair city.
“See, that is a perfect example of the overblown narcissism of this community” He says.
I paused mentally, and then snorted. And then audibly cackled at him as I walked past. He looked completely floored by the fact that someone thought his opinions were laughable. It gave me a boost all afternoon.
That is amazing.
Sometimes I wonder if I could at least manage to do that grimace Sheldon does on BBT when someone suggests he smile. I like to think that would be terrifying and stop them in their tracks.
dude: you should smile more.
me: *forced smile*
dude: jesus. you look like a serial killer.
me: so i’m conveying my emotions accurately?
Akin to the GLORY that is Wednesday Addams’ smile at summer camp?
Jenna Marbles has “the face” which might work.
A truly lovely Christmas story. When I read the ending, I sighed happily and my heart was suffused with a warmth akin to the effect of reading Mallory’s Six Swans retelling.
ahhhh omg this is like the best compliment ever <333
Toasties (sorry this can’t wait to an open thread), my mom was harassed by a couple of men (in a car) while she was out on her early morning run. Any advice? Send her good vibes? She has always been an avid runner and loves early mornings but also had some bad things happen to her in childhood – so this is really getting to her. She’s looking into joining a gym but I’m so sad that she’s probably lost one of the things that has always given her joy.
Ugh. Men.
I really wish I had more to contribute. It really really sucks. I hope she can either find a different time to run or that she can find something else that can replace running as a source of joy.
I would suggest that she look into self-defense classes. I took one through my university (women-only section) this semester and the instructor taught us how to approach street harassment and verbal/physical boundary setting in addition to the physical component. The class was an all-around positive, safe, supportive environment that might work well for her.
Is there a high school with an open track nearby? That would keep her off the street, but still allow for free outdoor running. My high school track was open to the public during certain hours, and the largest high school near me now does the same.
Pepper spray is a small thing but it can make you feel a little more prepared for shittiness. A friend gave me some when I was hassled but I couldn’t get used to carrying it. Then I moved and both my housemate and neighbor carry it any time they walk, mostly for dogs, but you never know…
My favorite bit of running self-defense advice is to carry a PVC pipe. Not too heavy, but it sends a very clear message that I will hope will keep men quiet.
It’s really, really shitty that anyone’s interfering with her joy. I’m seething on your behalf.
Can she borrow a big dog? I lend my large dogs to neighborhood running ladies.
I see someone already mentioned my idea of pepper spray. Prominently displaying it at opportune moments could likely be useful.
oh my god, that rape article was….. so much.
He had a term for what he was about to do: “rape theater.” Deviant fantasies had gripped him since he was a kid, way back to when he had seen Jabba the Hutt enslave and chain Princess Leia. Where do you go when you’re 5 and already thinking about handcuffs? he would ask himself.
but, you know, it’s just TV! we’re all just being sensitive.
the answer for non-violent rapists is that we go into safe, sane and consensual kink.
I’ll also take a moment to rage again against those FUCKING FOSTER MOMS.
uuuuugh!! so terrible!
I think I yelled, “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK” at work. Or at least really, really wanted to. Also I can’t believe those detectives still have jobs in ANY department. THERE WAS PHYSICAL EVIDENCE YOU INCOMPETENT SHITBRAINS DID YOU EVEN READ THE FUCKING FILE!?
I sympathized so much with the part where she couldn’t look the detectives in the eye while she was telling the truth, but then was able to do it after she recanted. I wanted to shake everyone involved. Are they really so un-empathetic as to be unable to imagine that a rape victim could feel intense stress and shame while reliving and retelling what happened to them? Have they completely forgotten how fucking scary law enforcement types can be when they’re staring you in the face picking apart supposed inconsistencies in your story? Can they not imagine that a scared 18 year old might succumb to the pressure to say anything just to make it all stop?
As an aside, I suspect these detectives may have extracted some false confessions in the past, as well.
Absolutely! Can’t remember whether it was in that article or another on the same subject but I think that department has a ridiculously high rate of false rape reporting which is suspicious at best.
I just saw this yesterday and I had to post it. Hank Scorpio FTW!
Re: the Buzzfeed list. Number 30 very nearly made me vomit, and I don’t think a picture of anything has ever made me vomit in my entire 31 years of life. I wanted to throw my laptop across the room.
This comment is what made me open the link.
Why??????
Ok, I’m broken, nothing really bothered me but the asshole homecoming proposal.
I read the article in The Atlantic this morning about how the family who owns Hobby Lobby are not only buying up biblical artifacts and manuscripts that were probably stolen from museums in the Middle East at one point, they are restricting the availability of these items only to scholars who agree with them. FLAMES ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE.
Unfortunately that’s not even recent news. They’ve been doing this for years. Years.
The Hobby Lobby people are the worst. I can’t even go in the store anymore.
Hobby Lobby. What Hobby? More like Garbage People Lobby. brb, getting my folding chair out of storage.
I just lost the ability to can.
THANK YOU for encourating people to read the TRC report, thank you thank you. ____In other Canadian news – the horrible reparative therapy gender clinic at CAMH is shuting down! http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/camh-…
Hey Toasties. Today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. You can find out more, including where vigils near you might be, here: http://www.december17.org.
So! Today in science fiction becoming science fact, we are apparently sending a lander to Europa.
DID WE LEARN NOTHING
*dirtbag NASA*
ur not my REAL dad, ARTHUR, u can’t tell me where to go!
ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT ENCELADUS
Ugh, Toasties, it’s another really terrible week in the lab. Any comfort gifs/links/suggestions are welcome. I just need to feel like I’m not screwing up at everything.
my favorite hug gif of all time omg
Just checking in to say that I make very little money, hourly, but monday is my 45 birthday, and tues and Wed are the . last. Days.I.will.ever.get.to.spend.before.yule.with.my.two.younger.kids before they are grown because divorce sucks. So I am taking those days off to pretend im happy and bake cookies and decorate and take them tge places I used to go to look at cChristmas windows, etc.
And im feeling horribly guilty for not working all thise days, even though there will be no one in the office and nothing to do, because im sure to my mom it’s like tthrowing away money and what’s 4 hours anyway. But godsdamnit I deserve some time with my kids!!
And im angry at all thr spoiled people around me who can take a week off without losing half a meaaly paycheck. And im angry for all the times my ex has kept me from sharing holidays with my kids. And im angry at all the people at work who whine about wrapping presents and using up their vacation time and totally take for granted that they will see their kids and can buy presents and have vacation. And im angry that the ex will spend thousands on them and his gf’s kids but owes me 6k and is going to make me sue him for it. My kids don’t need things but I hate not having thinfs for them anyway. I will get some small things and they will be ni eto because I raised tgem right but holidays suck.
Also I have SAD and am in full on existential despair, “the sun will never reach the back of the cave we are doomed” mode. Yesterday it peaked. I made it until after school, and even though the sun was shining and it was 60 out in Ohio I was near tears. My son walked in and I started to jokingly say the part above above “no light in the cave”, and he just smiled and very sweetly walked over and turned on my SAD lightbox without saying a word , which was sweet and adorable.
That is all. I needed to vent somewhere.
Sorry, phone posts suck, I’ll edit when I get home.
If virtual hugs from an Internet stranger help at all….
(((CCoryy)))
Thanks!
Just having somewhere to whine and not worry I’m spreading gloom helps a lot!
If it helps at all, I am reading your posts and marveling at your determination. As far as I can tell, you have escaped an abusive situation, become self supporting and are raising your kids with not much support. Not only that, but you support them in their sports/artistic endeavors while also trying to apply for grad school! I am in awe of you. You are wonderful, and someday things will get better.
I’m so glad your son understands your need and reacted that way! I hope it helps. It sounds like you have good kids who love you — year-round, not just on certain holidays. (But I know the holiday times will never stop mattering.)
Toasthugs for you, CCoryy.
An anonymous toastie helped me out once when I was having a bad time. Perhaps if there were some way to contact you, one might be able to (ugh) pay it forward …
My sister is prompting me for my paypal address, so I think the “making christmas” part of my rant will be ok. There’s a lot of background crap happening that I’ll try to explain in OT. Right now I think I’m just feeling the green-eyed monster over the *certainty* that they all seem to have–the certainty of seeing their kids, the certainty of having a job that pays the bills (or being able to go where one is), the certainty that they have insurance and vacation time. That’s different than money, and here is a safe place to unpack it.
Am I the only person in the entire world who doesn’t care about Star Wars? If social media is any indication, the answer is yes.
Me and my sci fI kids are over it. Done, no desire to see it.
NOPE! Me too. I don’t hate it, I’m just completely indifferent to it. I’m thinking about getting one of those extensions to block spoilers to see if it will block all the SW news. I’m just so bored of the wall to wall coverage.
I did get the Trump2poop extension for chrome, which turns all Trump pictures into poop emojis, which has been delightful.
Exactly! No hate, just indifference.
That extension sounds brilliant.
I don’t particularly care either. I’ll probably see it at some point, may not in the cinema though.
I’m actually tempted to make my self go to the cinema to see Sisters just to support them and stick it to the Star Wars fanboys (Yes my £5 will make that much of a difference.)
I also want to see sisters and was thinking along the same lines! London toast movie meet up?
Ooh maybe, it might be on at peckhamplex! I’m in Ireland until the 28th, but free after that! Message me
I’m pretty meh, not planning to see it, haven’t seen the originals in nearly 20 years. But I feel like, as someone who hangs out in nerd circles, this week is only maybe 20% more Star Wars-y than any given week.
“this week is only maybe 20% more Star Wars-y than any given week”
ACCURATE! I am actually a huge sci-fi nerd and it saddens me that for so many people the genre seems to be entirely defined by Star Wars and Star Trek.
I can’t say that I don’t care about Star Wars, but I’m not letting myself get invested in it before I see it. I will see it when I see it, and I hope it is going, but I refuse to get worked up over the trailers and stick a lightsaber in my Facebook profile photo.
don’t understand it, don’t know the characters, don’t care, the end
No, I’ll sit with you.
you are not alone. i’m indifferent to them, never seen the movies, already sick of hearing about all the star wars.
It’s like a grasshopper plague of migratory fandom.
nooope
i saw it as a kid at different points, and may even have seen ep1 in the dollar theatre? it left such a small impression me that i don’t even remember or if we rented it from blockbuster.
it wasn’t an awful series or anything, i just mostly found it uninteresting.
it’s awkward because i’m kind of the same way about most major pop culture touchstones that my peers are excited about. (also because when i’m a huge fan, i kind of like to keep it to myself and not share???)
I cannot miss this movie. But only because I must hear another John Williams score in surround sound. I might just close my eyes during the movie, to hear all the better.
Me too. It feels weirdly alienating. Often things are popular on the internet that aren’t for me, but this is POPULAR on the internet. I can’t help but wonder if all these people actually like these movies this much, or if some are just hopping onto the excitement ride, cause why not?
Speaking of Nabokov, I read this delightful essay on Russian translation from ten years ago:
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005/11/07/the-…
My favorite part, about a bad review of Nabokov’s translation of Onegin:
After reading Wilson’s piece at home in Montreux, Nabokov cabled the co-editor of the Review, Barbara Epstein, in New York: “Please reserve space in next issue for my thunder.”
YES, I love all the cattiness and posturing and strong feelings about Nabokov’s Onegin, so this is amazing, thank you for sharing!
here’s a story about an 85-year-old plumber from Austin, Texas, who has apparently discovered the secret to feline longevity! http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/how-to-raise…
it is delightful.
Rick Perry’s cousin is a cat wizard???
Yes! way to bury the lede, I know 😛
That was delightful! My cat -person heart is warmed. The Christmas train! The kitty movie theater!
3D kitty glasses!
“The corpses of 47 of Perry’s cats are sealed in fiberglass baby caskets and buried in his backyard.”
hoooooo boy
I LOVE THAT GUY. But not as much as he loves cats. Nobody loves anything as much as he loves cats. Those cats of his eat better than I do.
Hey toast, I just got my first IUD, and I need support and love and non-horror stories. It wasn’t that bad, actually, but the cramping is getting the better of me.
what television have you picked out to binge?! i hear this is actually a crucial step toward cramp alleviation.
So far it has been Colbert and One Punch Man (two different things). I have also been trying to take naps, which have been moderately successful.
Oh, man, I’m sorry – I had the same experience. The insertion was pretty much fine, but I had TERRIBLE cramping for the first couple of days, and bad (but intermittent) cramping for a solid week+ after. I found a hot water bottle to be a great comfort, hot ginger tea with a little whiskey (when I wasn’t going to work) – it was actually a nice excuse to baby myself for a couple of days. Also if you can get someone to bring you a milkshake, I’d advise it.
The milkshake was really helpful! Thank you!
It does get better! I had a similar experience but after a week I felt fine. I hope there is someone in your life you can make reasonable/unreasonable demands of which might make the painful time pass more pleasantly. I requested a particular pizza and cozy cuddling from my boyfriend. Several months have passed now and I am delighted with my IUD.
Pizza and TV/bad movies on the couch.
My cramping was bad for about 24 hours, and then moderate for another 24 or so, and then basically gone. In the meantime, treat yo self to the fullest extent practical, with heat and your favorite snack treats and a netflix marathon of something dumb.
Yeah, I hurt like hell and went home early the day of insertion; but it has been rainbows and sunshine and worry free sex and no periods ever since.
The first day was bad for me too. Like cramps so bad I was too nauseous to keep food down. But the next day I was just a little twingey! If you don’t have an electric heating pad send someone to the store asap. Otherwise put on your comfiest sweat pants, pull up your bingewatching show of choice, and power through knowing that it will get better soon.
My experience: SO MUCH PAIN insertion, followed by a day or two of cramping, followed by happy non-pregnancy for three years since!
Dunno if you’re on Mirena or Paragard or something else, but with Mirena my periods have been regular, light, and mostly non-painful and have finally essentially disappeared in the past few months. So that’s pretty great.
Pretty much the same as everyone here, horrible first few days. For about a year I had one really bad day with every period. Now I live in a magic land with no periods ever and it is wonderful.
I had really really really bad cramps for a day or two, and I spotted for several months, but then I had years and years of beautiful cramp-free almost non-existent periods. WORTH IT!
The special lady in my life never watched Star Wars growing up, so after Episodes 1-3 came out, she watched all of them in actual numerical order.
I mean technically I feel like that is the wrong order, somehow? But also kind of cool.
My (high-school-age) daughter hosted a watchathon a few weeks ago where they did this, all back to back. From 10 AM until super late at night. I admired their tenacity for sure, but I think maybe the Machete order (eps 4,5,2,3,6, skipping 1) might be the better way to do it? She was super-invested in proving that Jar Jar was a Sith Lord, though, so I guess she needed ep 1.
I have a link to share with you all! On the outside, this is a fairly mundane, unassuming-looking house. BUT WAIT – look at the interior photos.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/…
I want it I want it I want it
And, while I realize that location has a lot to do with property values…that fact that price could get you a wee condo in the Boston area makes me cry a bit.
Holy shit.
Who wants to give me money so I can live there?
That is BANANAS and I have a lot of questions about it. (1. Why? 2. Why in NEWPORT? 3. Why, specifically, the religious murals on the bedroom ceiling? 4. Why did you orient the bed under the mural so it would be upside-down to the viewer? 5. Again, just generally: why?)
Yes, why in NEWPORT? On one hand, I will absolutely be driving by when I am there after Christmas, but on the other hand. . . why in NEWPORT? In Portland, even, you could maybe get more of your money back on that sale.
hell yes
holy shit.
OMG. Also, it really looks like there are two ovens and cooktops in that kitchen. Yeeeeeeeeessss, please!
I want that house. But then I thinking of having to dust all those crazy bits of molding and think maybe I don’t actually want that house…
…The piano matches the wallpaper.
Can we talk about how awful hard it is to get Adele tickets this morning? Have been trying to get LA tickets for over and hour and am stuck in this purgatory of a “waiting room”. Did anyone *actually* make it to the other side?
Toasts, this week is rubbish. Last night I had to put up with loud music from my new neighbour. This is after assurances *before* I took the suite that I would not have to deal with that in this building. So I guess maybe I have to save up some non-existent money to be able to move again? Now today, an assistant gave really crap instructions on what she wanted with a document, but it’s suddenly my fault for not reading her mind & doing it how she wanted. I just want to run off to…well, anywhere will do, frankly.
Pharma CEO who tried to price gouge on that drug a few months back? His lawyer just did the same to him.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/la…
<humor>
I know this is humor, but much like the Wu Tang / Bill Murray sales contract rider, I WANT TO BELIEVE.
Just gonna leave this here. Genius: https://twitter.com/hologramvron/status/675816951…
Her own personal trademark move was to walk out in just jeans and a T-shirt. When she reached the judges, she would pull out a white handkerchief from her back pocket. “And then she’d wipe it across her face and show the handkerchief to the judges [to show that she had no makeup on] and the place would go crazy,” says Garrett.
Tracey “Africa” Norman invented “I woke up like this” and took it to its peak. #flawless
Literally just came back here to post this quote.
I read this on Tuesday and it’s such a great piece. I mean, AWFUL what happened, but really glad that she’s talking about it now, you know? I hope someone offers her a beauty contract now, because she’d probably kill it.
Hey TOAST! Although I work nights and live in the Pacific time zone now so I can’t hop into comments as soon as I’d like, I decided I’d just try to be that delightful late person to the party, who’s all energetic and keeps it going a bit longer with my comments. Deal?
Anyhoo, that buzzfeed list is starting my day RIGHT. the nostril bong? And for those who can browse NSFW stuff… the minion in the pudendum is just lighting me up with laughter. His face! lolololol
You have a strong, strong stomach. :-p
it was SO good. I loooved her! I loved him! I loved it all!
Ella is such a lyrical writer. And also, she makes me want to buy whatever lipstick she’s writing about because she infuses it with so much meaning.