In grade school I caught a lot of crap (and flying balls) for being overweight, so regardless of the weather I wore my red and black checked “lumberjack” coat every day (it was a lumber town, so I *kind of* fit in?). At our graduation ceremony from this tiny K-8 school, the kid who spoke about where we’d all be as adults said I was going to invent a coat called the Seal-O-Matic that had AC in summer and heat in winter. tl;dr I love this, but also might be suing you shortly.
danelleorange+68
I require my coat to protect me against ALL lampreys.
JGlows+47
I was thinking to myselfin alarm, “MOST lampreys?!?!”
lemonadefish+29
Yeah I would at least like to know *which* lampreys it will not protect me from.
FewerDahlias+41
“Some joker gets entangled with a rogue lamprey, and suddenly we’re up to our eyeteeth in product liability lawsuits….”
Steph+20
Obscure lamprey defence mechanism: would-be opponents are deeply confused trying to figure out which of your eight zillion teeth are eye teeth.
chickpeas+58
Can I get this but in a penguin-attracting color?
Alli525+14
EXACTLY what I was coming here to say.
Steph+75
Orangey red seems to work well 🙂
alder_tree+24
As someone else once said about this image, the best part is the look of absolute delight on all the humans’ faces.
atlasblue85+22
if the coat can order the latte for me then I’m sold
champagneghost+22
But do these protect against wampas? (or do they qualify as yetis?)
Joni+10
the twist is the coat smells BETTER on the inside
blunderbusst+11
YOU DON’T KNOW ME
Hoolia+21
Tell me it has electric heating (I do not generate my own heat) and it automatically inflates when I slip on the ice, and I’m sold.
logicbutton+37
“Well, off to get the mail.”
Lightninging+15
Oh my god, you look like me and even have the same glasses?
Side note: don’t glasses in the winter suck? 🙁
logicbutton+13
Ahaha! Yes, these especially do, because they fog up often enough without provocation, and have done so for the last eight years I’ve owned them (I need new ones, but so lazy), so in the winter they’re worse than useless.
majoseh+10
Loved all of this but specially the panel with the scared penguins. their little wingsssss!!!
halloweenjack64+25
When I moved from a small town in Wisconsin to Chicago when I was thirteen, I had a winter coat in an eye-watering shade of orange. I moved there in November, so me wearing that coat was the first impression that most of my classmates had of me. They were not impressed–one of my friends said, years (decades?) later, that he still remembered me walking into class wearing the thing–but not even Chicagoans really know the kind of climate and landscape that would make something like that practical if not life-saving, both from blizzards and from drunk hunters.
jimmyjimjimjim+21
Yeah I grew up in Alaska where if the coat wasn’t half reflective tape you added your own because like hell “dull blue” was a good idea in 2 feet of snow plus falling snow plus it’s dark out.
ladyimogen+13
Reflective tape or just duct tape, because dog claws and rogue spruce branches really do a number on fancy parka fabric!
Crivens+20
Drunk hunters! The nightmare scourge of the north woods.
PettyVengeanceFetish+17
The fact that there aren’t more jackets that can claim yeti resistance shows a sad decline in fashion standards
cleoreads+9
I got a new pair of polar fleece ear warmer things for (early) Christmas this year and the hype in the labels made me laugh, so I completely love this. My body may be in danger from yetis and frost bite because of my wimpy black coat, but my ears will be PROTECTED.
elsajeni+17
A couple years ago I bought a new jacket that proclaimed itself to be 20% WARMER, no further details, and I’m still not over it. 20% warmer THAN WHAT, COLUMBIA SPORTSWEAR???
dakimel+15
Flabbergasted sleet is the best kind of sleet. It gets all crazy-dance-y and emits these high-pitched squeaking noises that warm the cockles of my evil heart.
Spewingllamas+11
But does it have room to grow in the sleeves, eh?
Meg+1
Shut up and take my money already.
Household_Opera+7
I snort-laughed out loud at “Each quilted panel contains its own jacket which contains its own jacket which contains another tiny jacket.”
In grade school I caught a lot of crap (and flying balls) for being overweight, so regardless of the weather I wore my red and black checked “lumberjack” coat every day (it was a lumber town, so I *kind of* fit in?). At our graduation ceremony from this tiny K-8 school, the kid who spoke about where we’d all be as adults said I was going to invent a coat called the Seal-O-Matic that had AC in summer and heat in winter. tl;dr I love this, but also might be suing you shortly.
I require my coat to protect me against ALL lampreys.
I was thinking to myselfin alarm, “MOST lampreys?!?!”
Yeah I would at least like to know *which* lampreys it will not protect me from.
“Some joker gets entangled with a rogue lamprey, and suddenly we’re up to our eyeteeth in product liability lawsuits….”
Obscure lamprey defence mechanism: would-be opponents are deeply confused trying to figure out which of your eight zillion teeth are eye teeth.
Can I get this but in a penguin-attracting color?
EXACTLY what I was coming here to say.
Orangey red seems to work well 🙂
As someone else once said about this image, the best part is the look of absolute delight on all the humans’ faces.
if the coat can order the latte for me then I’m sold
But do these protect against wampas? (or do they qualify as yetis?)
the twist is the coat smells BETTER on the inside
YOU DON’T KNOW ME
Tell me it has electric heating (I do not generate my own heat) and it automatically inflates when I slip on the ice, and I’m sold.
“Well, off to get the mail.”
Oh my god, you look like me and even have the same glasses?
Side note: don’t glasses in the winter suck? 🙁
Ahaha! Yes, these especially do, because they fog up often enough without provocation, and have done so for the last eight years I’ve owned them (I need new ones, but so lazy), so in the winter they’re worse than useless.
Loved all of this but specially the panel with the scared penguins. their little wingsssss!!!
When I moved from a small town in Wisconsin to Chicago when I was thirteen, I had a winter coat in an eye-watering shade of orange. I moved there in November, so me wearing that coat was the first impression that most of my classmates had of me. They were not impressed–one of my friends said, years (decades?) later, that he still remembered me walking into class wearing the thing–but not even Chicagoans really know the kind of climate and landscape that would make something like that practical if not life-saving, both from blizzards and from drunk hunters.
Yeah I grew up in Alaska where if the coat wasn’t half reflective tape you added your own because like hell “dull blue” was a good idea in 2 feet of snow plus falling snow plus it’s dark out.
Reflective tape or just duct tape, because dog claws and rogue spruce branches really do a number on fancy parka fabric!
Drunk hunters! The nightmare scourge of the north woods.
The fact that there aren’t more jackets that can claim yeti resistance shows a sad decline in fashion standards
I got a new pair of polar fleece ear warmer things for (early) Christmas this year and the hype in the labels made me laugh, so I completely love this. My body may be in danger from yetis and frost bite because of my wimpy black coat, but my ears will be PROTECTED.
A couple years ago I bought a new jacket that proclaimed itself to be 20% WARMER, no further details, and I’m still not over it. 20% warmer THAN WHAT, COLUMBIA SPORTSWEAR???
Flabbergasted sleet is the best kind of sleet. It gets all crazy-dance-y and emits these high-pitched squeaking noises that warm the cockles of my evil heart.
But does it have room to grow in the sleeves, eh?
Shut up and take my money already.
I snort-laughed out loud at “Each quilted panel contains its own jacket which contains its own jacket which contains another tiny jacket.”
I need one of these right this very second.