A Birthday Bargain Bin

by Jane Marie · February 12, 2016

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Mara Hoffman Jumpsuit, $298 Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me-eee, buy me all of this stuff. To start with, how about this jumpsuit that isn’t even on sale? Hardly a thing on this list could be considered a bargain, but it’s MY birthday and I don’t play by the rules.

3218696-p-4xMaison Margiela Booties, $220.99 (were $735) “Were $735,” like that’s okay in the first place, lol.

504180590_1_tabletopConnor 2016 Zodiac Calendar and Easel, $81 (was a price that doesn’t matter because we’re not actually buying this but will try to make it out of supplies from the craft store. Speaking of…)

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Hazel & Ruby Crafternoon Kits, $3-8 in-store (were $14.99 and up) For some reason these aren’t on clearance on the website, but trust that they are in the store. I bought three the other day for a grand total of $12 and made this:FullSizeRender

Also, these paper flowers turned out pretty sick. (Also-also, I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of federal trade laws but Jo-Ann’s always has crazy coupons on their site and their app that can apply to even clearance items.)

Sephora-Collection-Alexis-Bittar-Liquid-Gold-Beauty-Brush-Set-StandAlexis Bittar Brush Set, $99 (were $175) Not normally a fan of Alexis’ drippy, globby-looking accessories but the aesthetic somehow works on brushes.

Screen Shot 2016-02-12 at 7.24.41 AMTuleste Pom Pom Earrings, $100 (were $250) Problematic as they are — real fur, a hundred bucks, stupid — these earrings still deserve love. So does this bracelet.

511104Fishs Eddy Paint-by-Number Tray, $11.96 (were $19.95) There’s also a desert scene. And if you don’t want to be friends any more, pick this up for your sweetheart while you’re over there.

81MxFN++GNL._SL1500_Gas Stone Look Fire Pit, $219.99 Does anyone have one of these/do you like it/what’s the best kind to get, Etc.

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A Nanny, priceless.

Jane Marie is a writer, mother, fighter and lover.


51 Comments

      1. Kuluvi +15

        Brown! Or grey! Or red! (I don’t wear any black clothing, I haven’t for over 15 years, & the number of gorgeous shoes available ONLY in black makes my soul cry)

    1. Xolandra +6

      Right? I was all like “nooooooooooooo (but maybe also yay!)! Not real fur!” Because otherwise I would be out $100(amercian!) dollars right now.

    2. Goomaly +4

      oh my god I would wear the shit outta those earrings, or ones that looked just like them, maybe in red??

      1. tinypaperme +30

        I feel like this is also something that could be accomplished with supplies from the craft store for considerably less than $100.

  6. EmElBee +51

    1) Happy birthday!
    2) I once went to the American History Museum in DC and stumbled upon an exhibit on the paint-by-numbers movement? moment? Whatever you call it, the exhibit was DELIGHTFUL. And my friends may have gotten annoyed at me because I didn’t want to leave it. This is all to say that I now own that deer plate.

    2. cartonym +4

      I remember that exhibit!! I haven’t thought about it in forever but I clearly recall it was delightful and I had no idea paint-by-numbers was a thing adult people did before heading in, so I was all around astounded.

  7. isabellebleu +57

    Happy birthday, Jane Marie. May all of your jumpsuits this year have perfect torso lengths, and BOGO pricing.

  9. champagneghost +31

    Ha! My building has a firepit like that. It is Always Broken and they had a “We Fixed The Fake Fire Pit!” party when they fixed it except now there are stray wires dangling out of it now

  11. fakegeekgrrrl +5

    Happy birthday!! I hope the universe finds a way to festoon you with all the pretty things. And honestly, feeling those earrings so hard ugh

  13. msjinxie +8

    Happiest of Birthdays, Jane! Thank you for bringing the Bargain Hunt back into our lives – thanks to you, I am now the proud owner of an amazing teal muumuu, and I love it more than I thought possible.

  16. sausagedog +8

    Damn it all, I’m on a black ankle boot buying embargo since I bought a pair of Gant monkstraps as a Christmas present to myself! And it’s not my birthday, so that’s not an excuse. But MMM…. *impotent grabby hands*

    Happy birthday! Thank you for bringing these joyful and painfully tempting roundups to the Toast!

  17. Xolandra +8

    Happy Birthday! If it was your birthday wish to make me spit tea all over my monitor, consider it granted, because that “nanny, priceless” was pitch perfect.

  18. morganatic +6

    I almost want to repierce my ears and suffer the inevitable allergic reaction just to wear those pom earrings for one hour.

    1. alder_tree +1

      Have you tried the trick of covering the posts in clear nail polish? Supposedly that works since it keeps the metal from touching your ear holes.

    2. OliviaPJones +2

      Are you allergic to nickel? That is (I think) my problem, because all regular-type earrings inflame my ears and make them all itchy. Stainless steel works fine, though! And if I’m feeling fancy, sterling silver works as well.

  20. logicbutton +7

    Triptychs AND hot air balloons, two of my favorite things in one craft! Also, happy birthday!

  21. suzynjackson +5

    Please, please, please be careful of gel-based fireplace pit thingies – one exploded in my god-sister’s face and it was very much not ok. Not that the one you had was gel based. I’m just sayin’

  23. msdominiqueg +6

    Happy birthday, Jane Marie.
    Also – could use your advice (and the advice of any other stylistas here): Another birthday girl (my very dear friend) is celebrating her 40th birthday in a big way. I am flying to her retro 90’s dance party. I planned on wearing a sequined mini dress, but she told me that my dress was “too cocktail.” What do I wear???

  25. SeaPixie +2

    Happy Birthday, Jane! Love the bracelet but it’s gold plated and still $1347.50. It’s vintage Chanel but damn . . .