…which I found in my building’s laundry room next to a pair of red high-heeled shoes.
1. (Super) Zeaxanthin w/ Lutein & Meso-Zeaxanthin Plus Astaxanthin
2. Endothelial Defense w/ Glisodin® and CocoaGold
3. Sodzyme®; w/ Glisodin® and Wolfberry
4. (Mega) Silymarin with Isosilybin B
5. SlimSignals w/ Irvingia & Fucoxanthin
6. Cognitex w/ Pregnenolone & Neuroprotection Complex
7. Velvet Deer Antler
8. Shark Liver Oil (Norwegian)
9. Migra-EEZ (Butterbur)
10. Jarrow Formula’s BONE-UP Superior Calcium Formula Microcrystalline Hydroxyapatite
11. Jarro-Dophilus EPS
12. Tocotrienols With Sesame Lignans
13. Butterbur Ext. w/ Standardized Rosmarinic Acid
14. Life Extension Cat Mix
Bonus Products:
15. Cell Sensor-EMF Detection/Measurement Meter
16. Life Extension Toothpaste Mint Flavor
17. Life Extension Mouthwash w/ Pomegranate
18. Dr. Tung’s Tongue Cleaner
Tags: butterbur, Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution, health, imma live forever, magazines, supplements
I’m still a little gobsmacked that this is a real magazine, because it looks like something that a sitcom would have as a prop. Still publishing as of August, according to a copy I found on the sidewalk (???) last month: “Summer Sanders Defeats Venous Insufficiency!“
Velvet deer antler is a proven sports supplement! I don’t know what you’re complaining about. Same with hologram stickers.
[Go Ravens]
Also, should my telomeres be lengthened? What’s the verdict? I’m dying to know.
Oh my god, at least two of those are going to turn out to be poison!
haha
So, nothing about Gleemonex, then?
Gleemonex for pets!
Half of those words look like JRR Tolkein’s list of rejected elf names.
“Wolfberry” would be a really good name for my next high fantasy RPG character.
The other half sound like rejected Harry Potter house names.
Oh god. My bf gets this “magazine.” Although calling it a magazine is generous because it is basically a catalog with articles that recommend supplements, which are then advertised on the very next page.
My thankfully ex-husband had BOTH volumes of the original Life Extension book. It was full of pictures of the authors, both in full-1970’s hair and tiny swimsuits (one male, one female), showing off the muscles they’d built up using supplements and something called a “Bull Roarer.” It was terrifying.
The books were shelved in between Viktoras Kulvinskas’ book “DO IT NOW: SURVIVAL INTO THE 21ST CENTURY” and all of his Theosophy stuff. There was also a juicer in the kitchen and sprouted multi-grain bread (which always got moldy) in the breadbox.
Now I eat Tater Tots and hotdogs and ice cream and am much happier.
I think I live with your ex-husband.
He has Theosophy books? And he read them sincerely and not out of academic curiosity?
eeeeeYeah. *sigh* It was not a good time.
7. Velvet Deer Antler
What is this, Hannibal?
The other half sound like rejected Harry Potter house names.
“14. Life Extension Cat Mix”
…Has Mallory mentioned her cat lately?
Which hell dimension is this language from? Someone do some research on those publishers, I’m pretty sure they’re trying to bring the second coming. Teaching our old folks’ the spells using the ruse of health supplements. Clever. Clever.
Which hell dimension is this language from? Someone do some research on those publishers, I'm pretty sure they're trying to bring the second coming. Teaching our old folks' the spells using the ruse of health supplements. Clever. Clever.
….and thread.
Eric Braverman, MD looks quite a lot like Leo Spaceman, MD.