“Perhaps it’s best if you go after all, Jeremy. Maybe we can talk later, if you’re able to stop saying such hurtful things.”
“I don’t think there’s any reason we can’t be civil, Clarkson. Jeremy here has been very much looking forward to meeting you.”
“Jeremeth. Paulson – Oh. Trimothy. You’re – what are all of you doing here? What…what is this? Have you three been getting together and talking about me when I’m not around? Because I don’t have to take this. Least of all from you, Paulson. And we never said we were exclusive.”
“The flowers are nice. But you’re still in trouble.”
“We don’t have to go, honestly. I’d much rather just stay in and nest. Heh. Nest.”
“This is hard for me, Clarence. But you’re worth being vulnerable for.”
“Well, I thought it was funny.”
[cooing]
“It doesn’t mean anything. It just means I thought it was funny. There doesn’t always have to be some sinister dark meaning to everything, you know. Some things are just funny. You don’t have to think about what it “means.” It’s just a joke.”
“It’s none of your business ‘which one’ I left you for, and frankly even asking me that question shows how much you never understood me.”
[Images via]
Peacocks prowl the Hollywood Forever cemetery , where Valnetino lays.
They are the loudest, meanest birds in the world.
I hate all birds, but I hate large birds the most (unless they are ravens) because they are cumbersome and spiteful.
Peacocks have to the most spiteful of birds because they’re a) birds, and birds are awful and b) they’re the birds of Hera, who was just incandescently (and quite rightly) angry all the flapping time.
In sum, I don’t like birds.
Their entire endealment, you don’t prize?
I don’t prize it or prise it or surprise it or smize it. I hates it.
I hate birds in person because of their lizard legs, beady eyes that never seem to focus, and even those mite-infested feathers. I also enjoy birds outside – the trills of the songbirds, the cawing of the corvids, the raucous noise of the parrots. Let’s just say I’m not a fan of birds in the house.
They are disgusting, but I will agree that there is something vaguely pleasant (although undoubtedly sinister) about their birdcalls.
There’s a reason “screamed like a peacock” used to be an expression.
A friend of mine, when he was a small boy, was once chased around a zoo by an angry peacock. “You stepped on my hen attractors! I keeeeeel you!”
BUT SWANS.
Swans will always be meaner than peacocks.
In my experience, which is more extensive than I’d like, peacocks are more menacing, but swans are indeed more mean. Peacocks will swarm around you and sort of dart their eyes and bob their beaks at you like feathery gangbangers with switchblades. But I’ve never been actually hurt by one; they just want you to know this is THEIR territory and not try anything. Swans are more blatant psychopaths…they’ll swim up to you all friendly-like, lull you into a sense of security, and then BLAM!, they bite you.
“feathery gangbangers with switchblades” … exactement
Everything Whats Wrong of Swans
But they do this absolutely little adorable honk-waggle thing after they bite you. Like “Again! Again! Let’s do it again!”
The swan is the peacock of the sea.
(I know it’s lakes really but sea sounds better.)
Came here to say this, knew someone else would have already taken care of it. Thank you for speaking the Truth about Big Swan.
I misread this and thought you were calling peacocks “BUTT SWANS”, which… yeah, pretty much exactly right.
I once watched a small yappy dog attempt to intimidate a swan. Or maybe just say hello to the swan; I’m not quite sure what the barking signified. At any rate, the swan drew itself up, unfurled its huge wings and its long, long neck, and hissed. It was a hiss that said “I will dismember you if you come any closer.” The dog backed off, quickly. I’ve kept a respectful distance from swans ever since.
My MIL lives on a lake and her recently departed cat would go down to the lake to drink sometimes, and I once saw on of the male swans swim up to her on the beach and try to get intimidating. She just looked at him, rolled her eyes, and carried on with her catness.
One of my favourite things about visiting Stratford, Ontario with my parents is watching the swans go after the clueless tourists. Swans are terrifying. Apparently, in the 70s more than one body was found in the Avon and identification was difficult because the swans had been eating the dead. Although, that could be my dad spinning tales. Still, I believe.
I once found a dead swan and dead fox lying about a yard apart. They were too decomposed to tell what had happened, but I like to think they killed each other in an epic battle.
What about geese? They have TEETH.
My parents took us to Portmeirion when I was seven, and the peacocks only added to the trippiness of the whole experience. (And that’s without having even seen The Prisoner.)
I now want to text my art historian buddy:
“One (1) young woman, nude (fully); one (1) old woman, nude (mostly, but w/ hat); one (1) knight, armor (lots); one (1) peacock. Tell me what everything symbolizes. You have three minutes.”
I don’t normally like yellow very much, but I am super into that dress in the second to last one. So… file that away. In whatever file you keep information about internet strangers’ opinions about dresses in art.
If you could let me know what art historian buddy has to say re: That One I would also very much like to know. Thanks in advance.
I am Right With You on that dress and was actually looking online for fabric to recreate it with until I remembered I don’t actually wear dresses. But I could change….
I *just* came down here to mention that dress! I am allllllll about it and it’s joyous, devil-may-care yellow! So BOLD, just the most violent, in-your-face “SPRING, FUCKO”
::peacock saunters into frame::
PEACOCK: ayy gurl you lookin fly as hell
MAN: I cannot compete with this. I cede my sexuality.
PEACOCK: lemme get wit you
WOMAN: Verily.
/fin
So serious question: are all of these ladies meant to be Hera/Juno? Because I don’t what else a lady with peacocks would signify.
Pride and vanity. Though I think the majority of these are Hera.
One of my high school students, Lauren Suh, did a great painting about pride and vanity and death and peacocks and I highly recommend you click here to see it (I don’t know how to embed a photo, and since we only have like a minute left of The Toast, I’m not going to learn now)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/rymanarts/148791086…
Sooo, now I will be calling all peacocks I come in contact with* Jeremy; or, perhaps, if they are Extra Fahncy, Jeremeth.
*I mean, it’s not a daily occurrence, but it’ll happen eventually, right?
“Trimothy.”
Surely everyone’s dated at least one or two peacocks despite their better judgment.
I definitely hooked up with a guy who told me his favourite bird was the peacock. He had also modelled his morning routine on American Psycho so you know he was a delight all round…
Was the sex good at least??? I mean too nosy from me but I’m hoping you got something good out of it, at least.
I’m glad you didn’t end up chainsawed.
and on that bombshell
I loved that they referenced that in the new series 🙂
I do appreciate in the second one that she is strangling the peacock for trying to neg her.
The birds could also represent Hebe’s lovers from the Mary Wesley book Harnessing Peacocks – though I think that was written in the last 30 years.
Earlier this year I was taking an early morning walk in a park and happened upon a congregation of 10-12 peacocks who decided it would be a good idea to recreate the ‘they’re flocking this way’ scene from Jurassic Park. So scary and yet so delightful.
Jeremy and Clarkson.
oh my.
One of my life goals is to have a guard peacock. His name will be Mr. Peabody
And also Flannery O’Connor.
I’m really grateful that, before The Toast officially retired, we got to find out what Mallory thinks peacock names are.
humans cannot fathom their REAL names…
Oh my god, now I’m so mad you can’t date a peacock in Hatoful Boyfriend.
P. sure the fantail doves’ middle names are both “Trimothy” tho
I guess Yuuya isn’t pure fantail, but “Yuuya Trimothy Sakazaki” just rolls off the tongue so beautifully!
Time to tell my peacock story!
I was at a park in Hawaii that had tables outside for eating. It also had peacocks. At one point, the male peacock came strutting through the edge of the eating area, and everyone rushed over to take pictures. At which point the female peacocks came in and dragged people’s food off the tables.
So, dating a peacock comes with perks.
You were robbed by peacocks! What a time to be alive.
He knew how to use it.
Hey that’s my peacock story!
You can tell it next time someone mentions peacocks in our vicinity.
Lady With Trouble Flowers has one eye higher than the other and I cannot unsee it and it is causing me to twitch uncontrollably
#goals
“This is hard for me, Clarence. But you’re worth being vulnerable for.”
BRB, dead.
“…and your eyes,
they tell me how much you care,
oh yes you will always be
my endless love…”
REEEAAUUGH REEEEAUUGH
Was at an open-air performance of Hamlet one night at the University of Western Australia when one of the uni’s peacocks decided to scream at just the right moment and completely startle the audience and unnerve the actors.
Would thoroughly recommend peacocks if you’re going for a classy sort of Halloween vibe.
I go to that uni and so many people hate those peacocks but omg i love them! Their weird cries are an amusing distraction when classes go quiet/get boring…
Those bastard peacocks interrupted me once in a French oral exam and I will never forgive their blighted race
I do yoga at a gym across the street from the local zoo. Which contains peacocks. In the spring, of course, they’re mating.
Nothing like savasana to the sound of horny peacocks shrieking.
This puts a whole new spin on the time I woke up in Wales to a peacock crowing outside my window.
I go to that uni and so many people hate those peacocks but omg i love them! Their weird cries are an amusing distraction when classes go quiet/get boring…
My favourite Toronto soft news story of last year was the peacock that escaped from the park zoo and, for a significant part of the spring/summer, was photographed faffing about in various lawns and gardens in the surrounding area. This year we’ve lost two capybaras, and it’s shaping up to be another summer of hilarious stories of someone’s neighbour seeing The Capybaras in their yard, just yesterday, they swear.
the peacock is sacred to the Goddess JUNO, Zeus’s faithful wife. Peacocks are also the symbol of Hindu Goddess Saraswati. see JUNO https://infinitynow.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/sagi…
the peacock is sacred to the Goddess JUNO, Zeus's faithful wife. Peacocks are also the symbol of Hindu Goddess Saraswati. see JUNO https://infinitynow.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/sagi…