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  1. If Cate Blanchett were your girlfriend, the two of you would sleep in lilac silk pajamas piped around the wrists and ankles in indigo. They would smell of actual lilacs, and they would be more comfortable than your oldest, softest t-shirts.

    49 comments
  2. If Ted Cruz were your husband, you’d start to see cans of soup turn up in unlikely places, like those ubiquitous garden gnomes. You’d spy a stranger in the crowd holding up a can of Chipotle Chicken and Corn Chowder, and you’d startle, and then think, “Those are NOT traditional chowder flavors!” When you’d get in an elevator, there would be a can of soup in the corner.

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  3. "We have called this book the 'Book of the Bee,' because we have gathered of the blossoms of the two Testaments and of the flowers of the holy Books, and have placed them therein for thy benefit. As the common bee with gauzy wings flies about, and flutters over and lights upon flowers of various colours, and upon blossoms of divers odours, selecting and gathering from all of them the materials...

    9 comments
  4. "We will have some capital hunting, you and I," said the general. "I shall be most glad to have your society."

    "But what game –" began Rainsford.

    "I'll tell you," said the general. "You will be amused, I know. I think I may say, in all modesty, that I have done a rare thing. I have invented a new sensation. May I pour you another glass of port?"

    50 comments
  5. There is this prevalent idea, one that sites like Ancestry.com promote, that by knowing our personal histories we can move forward with a clearer picture of ourselves.

    104 comments
  6. what
    im not smiling
    what do you mean
    i don't know how i look
    honestly im not even thinking about anything in particular
    quit asking
    why are you so obsessed with figuring out what im smiling about
    or not smiling
    i cant even tell

    60 comments
  7. You would think that after The Secret Garden, another Burnett book about a while child from India who is sent to England for some vague form of education would not be my jam.

    283 comments
  8. I read every slide word-for-word, exactly like how they tell you not to! Hope you enjoy.

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  9. This was an extraordinarily disappointing article, because the headline led me to believe that researchers had somehow discovered the first cases of sadness in children?

    29 comments
  10. I've got a CRUSH on you

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  11. HAPPY WEEKEND, GOOD LUCK GETTING THIS OUT OF YOUR HEAD

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  12. Donal Logue is one of our greatest living treasures, and the only person in the entire Blade franchise who seemed like he was having any fun. Every time I see him onscreen, I start jabbing incoherently at the screen and shouting, "It's him! it's him!" I wish him a better life than I wish for myself.

    69 comments
  13. I never thought I would find another site that speaks to my soul as deeply as the Old Loves Tumblr, but now I've discovered Actual Teen Vs. Adult Teen, and I invite you to spend the rest of our lives there.

    134 comments
  14. You are an 18 year old girl and in love with a 40 year old man. Everyone thinks this is fine.

    Shrill violins do not bother you.

    You are a beautiful, demure widow.

    If you are a man, you own one of three outfits–a kurta set, wide-shouldered and garishly patterned double breasted suit, or a tight leather jacket under which you are bare chested. Any one is appropriate for

    100 comments