Maureen. Maureen. Maureen. Google your dosage, man.
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Disturbingly handsome couple Jane Marie and Julian on MARRIAGE, which I found really great and open and interesting:
Did you have any fears about getting married?
Julian: No, not really. Deep down in my heart, I always knew I was gonna be a father and get married. I didn’t know it would happen so much on my terms. Like, I thought, “Well, I’m definitely gonna be a dad, but it’s probably not gonna be up to me when it happens and I’ll just have to show up for whatever the situation is.” So the fact that we planned getting married and planned getting pregnant was completely antithetical to everything that I thought. But the difference was before I quit drinking and after I quit drinking. Also my retirement plan when I was drinking was to die early, so that changed too.
Jane: I think I was afraid of getting married. Not to you, but in general, because I had a failed marriage. I wasn’t super confident, but it wasn’t you-specific.
Julian: I remember thinking, “I am not gonna treat this thing like it’s all about me feeling comfortable every day; that’s not what marriage is.”
Jane: I think the same thing: Our marriage is separate from you and me. It’s its own third thing, like the Holy Ghost.
Julian: Exactly. It’s bigger than both of us.
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The Wikipedia entry for “casting couch” is depressing.
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Tits and Sass on the idea of advocates for the rights of sex workers being “the pimp lobby”:
You might recognize this sentiment: the sex workers’ rights movement is funded by “the industry.” We are “the pimp lobby,” whether we’ve ever been in any sort of management role ourselves or not, let alone whether we’ve abused or exploited other workers. You might think it’s pretty easy to laugh at that sort of thing, but if you’ve ever spent any time going through the e-mails that sex workers’ rights organizations receive, you’ll hear a lot of this, even from people and organizations who are sympathetic. They’ll make assumptions about “staff”—we want to meet your staff”—or they want to meet in “your office.” There are people who try to chat you up about nonprofit careers at events, thinking you have jobs to offer them. And so on. It would be funny if it weren’t so frustrating, and if people with nasty motives didn’t use these assumptions against us.
It’s human to overestimate the resources of others and to underestimate one’s own. But let’s have some real talk.
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tl;dr THERE’S A FREE EXPENSIVE CAT IN THE MONTREAL AIRPORT:
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Ta-Nehisi Coates on “the radical practicality of reparations,” as a response to David Frum:
A similar moment finds us now. Even if one feels that slavery was too far into the deep past (and I do not, because I view this as a continuum) the immediate past is with us. Identifying the victims of racist housing policy in this country is not hard. Again, we have the maps. We have census. We could set up a claims system for black veterans who were frustrated in their attempt to use the G.I. Bill. We could then decide what remedy we might offer these people and their communities. And there is nothing “impractical” about this.
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Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
Arthur said staff have laid sardine-laden traps for Chester and circulated his picture around to airport staff, going so far as to dispatch employees to search the backyards of homes neighbouring the Dorval airport and employing the airport’s falcon unit to search for the Scottish fold.
1. “Sardine-laden traps,” I love it.
2. The airport’s….falcon unit….? PLEASE EXPLAIN FURTHER.
3. That cat is precious and I hope they find it.
4. My job is horrific and my boss is a Grade-A douche, but I still don’t know if I’d trade it for a job where my boss could say “OK, today you’re going to go hunt through random people’s backyards looking for a lost cat.” Actually, what am I talking about, that would be amazing, brb applying for new job.
A lot of airports keep birds of prey to scare off/kill pigeons and other birds that might get sucked into the plane’s engines or something.
That is amazing.
Yep, I’ve seen a bird of prey just chilling on the boarding ramps while I’m gawking out the window impatiently waiting to board. Makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, doesn’t having a falcon search for a small mammal seem like it’s…uh, not going to end well?
BRB, writing a superhero movie called MONTREAL FALCON UNIT
The sequel features a crossover from HOUND!
Led by Sam Wilson, right? (please please please)
BRB, watching the SHIT out of it
They circulated his picture. This is amazing.
“Wait, I think I see a random stray animal wandering around the airport. Should I do something?…*checks picture*… Nope, wrong eye color. Proceed with your day, four-legged friend!”
“…employees to search the backyards of homes neighbouring the Dorval airport and employing the airport’s falcon unit to search for the Scottish fold.”
WHAT? Waiting for an explanation, too! Edited to add, got it, coolest job in an airport ever.
Well I know what I’m doing this afternoon. *grabs bus pass and runs for the airport shuttle*
This happened in Iceland last year too, the cat was found in the same hanger a few days later: http://grapevine.is/Home/ReadArticle/Nuk-Reunited…
Dumps have birds of prey (and their falconers) on staff too! Or at least the one in Vancouver does. The falcons and other birds help manage the seagulls. And man Vancouver’s falconer is a-ttractive, or was 15 years ago when I took a tour of the dump.
I want to join the falcon unit, to be quite honest.
BRB, flying to Montreal for no particular reason.
LE SIGH. ongoing marital strife + still feeling all the love for my husband + that jane marie interview = biting back tears.
Jane Marie: if you’re out there, that interview was so lovely, real, heartfelt, and adorable. Do you and your husband want to adopt me? Is that creepy?
Yeah, I am definitely not in a place to deal with that right now. Two months in & I haven’t cried at work yet; not gonna sabotage myself.
two months w/o crying at work? are you some kind of superhuman? I hope things get better for you too… <3
Aww, thanks. I think I’m gonna save it all up and have a massive breakdown in a couple weeks.
SOLID PLAN.
Gotta build up those Strategic Snot Reserves.
Part of me thinks $1,200 for a *cat* and another part of me thinks LOOK AT THAT CAT IT IS WORTH ALL THE MONEY
I thought the same thing. My two cats were free, but DAMN if that cat is not incredibly adorable and precious and I want to play with its little ears and fuzzy wuzzum
I think I lost my train of thought there for a second.
Chester is a handsome devil and I am worried about him now. Watch out for the Falcon Patrol, Chester!
Is Chester a chameleon? He’s gray in one photo and brown in the other… unless of course they had only one photo of the actual Chester and had to beef up the article with MOAR CAT PHOTOS, can’t imagine why they would do that
How do you think he escaped? Master of disguise, expert forger and lockpicker, fluent in 12 languages.
HAH! Ah, look at his imaginary widdle fake moustache and international passport.
He is, after all, a very expensive cat.
Chester must be a mystery cat
He’s called the Hidden Paw
For he’s a master criminal who can defy the law
He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad’s despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Chester isn’t there!
Expensive cats! Oh all the things I deeply dislike about my MIL, her collection of expensive, lab created cats has to be the most ridiculous.
http://savannahs.webs.com/informationonsavannahca…
I am deeply afraid whenever we have to visit – she has (I think!) five of them.
Clicked on the link…ewwwww.
Are you sure that your mother-in-law isn’t a Bond villain?
no 🙁
Oh oh oh – she also drives a Jaguar with personalized “Wild Cat” plates
I am REASONABLY CERTAIN your mother-in-law is a Bond villain.
“Couch cheetahs”….?
Also, the genetics of this proposition, combined with finding the right freaky individual animals who will breed outside of their species: it all sounds like an enormous crapshoot.
You should absolutely be afraid, those cats will likely eat you in your sleep. Or something.
I KNOW. She is always covered in gaping wounds.
They only really eat raw chicken, so the house is also a biohazard zone
I’m sure between the quasi-feral cats and the old chicken juice it smells wonderful in her house.
My boyfriend’s cousin(?) paid $1,500 for a cat. I have never met the man, I am unclear on his relationship to my boyfriend’s family, and in fact know nothing about him except that the rest of the family refers to him as “Kevin-who-paid-$1500-for-a-cat”
AS WELL THEY SHOULD!
I have adopted a number of rescue cats in my life, including my current massive FIV+ baby who has violence problems and who I am about to pay $400 to have have groomed for the summer (DON’T ASK). I believe in adopt don’t shop. I throw cat rescue fundraisers at my house.
But I also intend to treat myself to a maine coon kitten next time I get a cat, and expect to pay around $1200 for it. Maine coons are amazing cats even when they come off the street with weird behaviour issues, and I want to experience what it is like to hand-raise a well bred kitten that is adorable. I just do. It will be worth all the money.
That was my reaction, but THOSE PHOTOS. I would pay $1,200 for that cat and I’m more of a dog person. Poor little guy, I hope he surfaces somewhere 🙁
Obligatory post about “See, this is why you rescue a cat from a shelter instead of buying a hella expensive cat that has to be shipped to you via AIRPLANE.”
man, my shelter cat is honestly the best. he’s a dog-cat, comes running to the door when I get home, is hilarious, licks my face, talks with me, spoons with me. I got him at 4 months, he’s 14 now, healthy as a horse (knock on wood) and WEARS A MOTHERFUCKING TUXEDO ALL THE TIME. I am some lucky bitch with this guy. I named him Pablo. His middle initial is T but he never told me what it stands for. And he’s a non-practicing homosexual. He’s the world’s most interesting cat and I think I paid $40 to adopt him.
I don’t know if this will work, but this is him loving on me, which he would do 24/7 if I would let him… http://instagram.com/p/mBzMkmTQiH/#
OMG that is the most adorable thing ever possible in all the verses. <3 <3 <3
That is insanely adorable.
Awwww! Cats are wonderful (and so are loving and appreciative owners!).
And if you’re in DC, you can adopt a kitten from a whole foster litter named after Whedonverse characters!
http://papaneroskittenchronicles.wordpress.com/
(I am the worst at the html-ing)
I hope they find Chester unharmed! That being said, $1200 would get you 7 adult cats or 5 kittens at my local humane society, with some money left over for treats, which I think is a better deal.
… BRB, opening up a savings account for no particular reason.
Chester is such a good cat name, too.
You know I have a lot of affection for Jane Marie from Hairpin days, but whoa, that was more information than I needed. I guess that is Cosmo. I’m glad she’s happy though.
Massive mixed feelings about the sex workers’ rights/anti-trafficking article. Not sure there is anyone I can fully back in this situation.
I am really not sure where to come down on what would be the “best” situation concerning sex work. How do we both make sure women who choose this work feel safe and like they have real recourse when a client behaves inappropriately and target those who would force or coerce women (and men, and girls) into this work?
That said, I am inherently more inclined towards thoughts on the matter from actual sex workers. It seems quite the case that everyone else clamoring to get into this debate has deeply mixed motives, at best.
I don’t know, people are both knowledgeable and deeply biased by their own situations. We all have a deep need to normalize our lives: how else can you remain sane? But I also have a strong conviction that selling sex (or your body, in various forms–I am also deeply uncomfortable with surrogacy and paid adoptions) is more dehumanizing than selling other forms of work, and holding the line on that is important. So much talk about the misogyny of “getting sex” the last weeks, and when sex is for sale all over, how can men not see a woman’s body as something that’s to be had for a price, and get angry when it isn’t for sale to them? Unless you totally “other” sex workers and say well, some bodies are for sale, some bodies belong only to their owners. Bodies aren’t car-shares though.
I haven’t looked into the criminalize-the-johns end yet but maybe that is a better angle. Obviously criminalizing sex workers sucks and has a long horrible history.
There is a reason that we have decided to only ever run pieces about sex work on the site which are written by people who have actually done sex work (always a great email to send: “we only run pieces about sex work by women or men who have done sex work, so, uh, lemme know if you are still interested in submitting this piece”), and I feel as though my opinion is of very little merit, but it strikes me as odd that we can legally choose to have sex for absolutely ANY reason we want (boredom, revenge, etc.) except “someone is financially compensating me for this act.” Moreover, if you can have sex for money if a third party is filming it (pornography), I just don’t think that it makes any sense to attempt to criminalize the act when no camera is present. I also do not have any interest in criminalizing johns, but, again, I am happy to be quiet and listen to actual sex workers on this point.
This sounds like a deeply amazing email, and I will in fact refrain from sending in some terrible pitch just to have my own, frame-able version.
This is seriously why this is my favorite site. So smart and necessary, to hear from people who are usually talked about/at.
I’m still mulling over much of your comment but I’m a little uncomfortable with implying sex workers sell their own bodies. It’s a few steps too close to saying they don’t own their own bodies, it just seems a little dehumanizing to me. I think it might be more accurate to consider it as selling a service, performed by their bodies. I mean, most people don’t consider massage therapists to be selling their bodies, although I’m sure part of that is because being a massage therapist is seen as being a more acceptable profession.
At what job are you not selling/renting out your body; getting penetrated doesn’t inherently seem like a much bigger sellout than wrecking your spine in the loading bay.
That’s kind of what rubs me the wrong way about it. I feel like sex work is often held to a much higher standard than literally every other job, when it comes to people deciding if it’s “ok”, which is weird to me, because I don’t really feel like it’s my place to decide whether someone’s chosen career is sufficiently respectable or not.
Really, you think buying and selling every thing ever is OK? That seems like a capitalist fantasy to me. I am not talking about respectable. I am talking about exploitation potential.
I am a manager of people, and I feel like asking people to commit their emotions, or their fake emotions, as part of work expectations is a major moral conflict for me, and yet it is part of how a functioning workplace is enabled (because it is, honestly, very difficult to get other work done in a place where people are negative and make other people negative) and sex is a very very personal thing to the point where having it coerced is truly damaging to the people it happens to (most of us feel rightly that anyone should be able to stop doing anything that doesn’t feel good to our bodies at any moment–that not having the choice to do that at any moment is violating) and yet the moment people start making economic contracts about it we have a situation where saying NO is a contract-breaker. And we very easily have a situation where someone’s livelihood depends on something that’s started to feel yucky: if your income is sex work then how do you say “I don’t feel like it”? It seems only truly a free choice if we had an economy where you could choose your work and stop doing sex at any time.
Bracketing discussion of class and race likelihood of having the choice but there is all of that too.
Should you be able to sign a contract saying someone can screw you daily for two years? Should you be able to stipulate that they look happy doing it? What contract-breaking terms should be allowed? This is a lot more complicated than “individuals should be able to sell anything they can sell.”
You can’t really sign a binding contract compelling you to any work for years, let alone that you have to look happy about it all the while. It’s a little scary that as a manager that’s how you think it works. You can be economically coerced into clinging to a hell job on pain of homelessness regardless, but making the hell job a lil’ bit more hellish for folks in the hopes that’ll make them just opt for indigence instead isn’t really improving their situation.
I think you may be confusing me with a different commenter, I don’t recall ever writing that I think “buying and selling every thing ever is OK”. That’s not a position I have ever held (on the internet, or in life). I also disagree that saying no is a contract breaker, I actually find it a little disturbing to suggest that doing sex work means so you are ‘contractually obliged’ to do everything ever.
I also don’t think you should “be able to sign a contract saying someone can screw you daily for two years”. I can’t imagine anyone on the toast would agree with that? I’m also not sure contracts like that really exist. I also don’t feel like individuals “should be able to sell anything they can sell”, I’m genuinely unsure where you got that idea from.
I’m honestly not sure where much of your response is coming from. Feeling like it isn’t my place, as a non sex worker, to decide for sex workers whether their job is acceptable or not doesn’t mean…any of the things you seem to think it means. I’m sorry if I gave the wrong impression.
Exaggerated example to illustrate that if sex is bought and sold freely and that is all hunky-dory, then the rules of commerce and contract enforcement will impinge on your absolute sexual freedom. I see a whole bunch of contradiction between “no means no, always” and “Money has changed hands in a transaction, therefore the service is owed.”
” doing sex work means so you are ‘contractually obliged’ to do everything ever. ”
Didn’t say that. But if you pay the bills by fucking, and you can’t pay the rent and you just don’t feel like fucking, that to me is different from not feeling like typing or carrying groceries. Having to have sex you don’t want is emotionally and qualitatively different from having to do work you don’t want. How many of us go to therapy because we were forced to clean bathrooms as children?
I also don’t buy the “not my place” argument. I have a lot of opinions about what should be legal that aren’t based on my own experiences. What people who are making money from a thing say about their profession is only one aspect of the story.
I see I am not in the mainstream of this discussion! That is OK but I didn’t want to let it pass entirely.
What’s the difference between an “exaggerated example” and a strawman?
Also, there are lots of grown-up professions that involve doing things that children (and adults) definitely shouldn’t be forced to do. Professional wrestler, therapist, and coroner are some that come to mind.
I see a whole bunch of contradiction between “no means no, always” and “Money has changed hands in a transaction, therefore the service is owed.”
This is where I feel strawman-ed. I think everyone in this thread agrees that consent matters to every act, sexual or not. And every service provider (massage therapist, physician, wedding planner) as well as every sex-haver (wife, boyfriend, sex worker) should have some recourse to changing what they do and do not consent to at any time during the course of their day and have that change recognized by all parties, including the justice system. The difference is that I see the laws that you are defending to be a major impediment to everyone having their rights respected in this way.
Finally, others have written this before me, but to see consent as only worthy of defending in one way – “no means no” – you are denying people of the ability to say yes. If I say yes to something – sex, an abortion, painting my nails an abominable shade of green – you (or the government) should have a really, really rock-solid reason to stop me. The belief that I don’t really know what I’m saying yes to doesn’t rise to that level.
Preventing people from selling something isn’t equivalent from preventing them from making money from it. And sex != every other kind of service, as I keep saying. And yes, there are other jobs that are horribly exploitative that aren’t sex work. Maybe we should make them illegal too, without criminalizing the people who get paid for them.
I’m done with this for now. Principled dissent!
This sentence “we have a situation where saying NO is a contract-breaker” is where I got the contractually obliged thing from, although I completely apologize if I misinterpreted it!
That said, I really really disagree with the idea that if “money has changed hands in a transaction, therefore the service is owed”. I think that sex workers should have the right to refuse to perform certain services, or change their mind about providing services they initially agreed to. I don’t think that just because someone has paid for a service that they should be able to just do anything they want. I am able to refuse things I find uncomfortable or unethical at work, and I believe that those same rights should be extended to sex workers.
I’m not sure if I really feel like sex work is comparable to typing or carrying groceries. You can feel free to disagree, but it seems like it might make more sense (to me) to compare it to other types of physically intensive and/or emotionally demanding work (most of which people could very well end up in therapy for if forced to do as children).
Also, the not my place thing wasn’t an argument, so much as me stating that I personally don’t feel like I have much of a place deciding for sex workers what is best for them, much as I don’t have a place doing that for, say, miners (because I’ve never worked in a mine).
I have definitely developed a new perspective on the phrase “selling your body” since I’ve started working with a lot of people with mining/forestry/construction jobs. Some of those jobs take an immense physical toll, and most of the people who work them feel it’s just a matter of time before they are injured or their bodies just break down from it. To me, that seems just as much (if not more) selling your body as having sex for money, and yet is perfectly legal and accepted.
After doing sex work for five years, my genitals (and the rest of my body) should still be in as great a shape as they started. After playing professional football for that long…
The comparison to massage therapy is exactly the one that I generally think. Well put.
I’ve spent considerable time reading the site after finding it linked via Charlotte Shane’s piece yesterday. I did not find this post particularly informative – it could be my early morning brain and/or my general lack of understanding, but I found it hard to reach any conclusion than the most basic: that she is pro sex rights. I don’t think the article was quite clear in explaining the subtleties of of the movement and those against it. Then again, it may have been directed toward a more targeted and informed audience.
I’ve spent considerable time reading the site after finding it linked via Charlotte Shane’s piece yesterday. I did not find this post particularly informative – it could be my early morning brain and/or my general lack of understanding, but I found it hard to reach any conclusion than the most basic: that she is pro sex rights. I don’t think the article was quite clear in explaining the subtleties of of the movement and those against it. Then again, it may have been directed toward a more targeted and informed audience.
However, browse the rest of the site! I was completely taken in by what these people have to say. If anything, it humanizes the experience which, as you say, is dehumanizing.
I think there’s an important distinction to be made – sex workers aren’t selling “their body,” they are selling services. And like any service provider, that includes deciding which services are on the table or off, which clients they will agree to take on, and their prices for particular services. I think that’s an important difference – when you talk about “selling your body” it makes it sound like anything is on the table, and I agree that *is* how many people see sex workers. I think that framing is harmful, though, because it’s *that* reasoning that leads to the conclusion that you “can’t rape a sex worker,” which is clearly false (and I’m sure you agree – not trying to say that you think that! just trying to let you know where I see the “selling your body” reasoning leading).
Right, I trust people of good will and feminists to make that distinction. I do not trust either governments or individual men to uphold it in any consistent way.
But asking our governments (and their agents, from police to legislators) to uphold it is the only way to improve the situation. Sex work is a professional field deeply infused with the sexism of our times, but so is, say, nursing. That is not the same as saying that sex work must always be deeply sexist, or that it inherently perpetuates sexism by simply existing.
Sadly, many people working in advocacy groups to “support” sex workers or trafficking victims also fail to see that distinction, meaning all their purpotedly good will for “victims” winds up further perpetuating the patriarchy’s hold on the field.
I agree – if no one starts making the distinction, the worst people definitely won’t. Someone needs to be an example, and having our policymakers start would be ideal.
Off topic: I’m getting this ad for “Glamping.” This is how the Ladies do camping, right?
Of course it’s promoted by Skinny Cow. Ughh.
So many hate-daggers for those ads. So many.
I was just complaining that the web filter on this machine blocked the sex workers’ rights article. But now I’ll also give thanks that it blocks ads. (Sorry, Mallory and Nicole! I can’t turn it off! Can I buy another t-shirt now?)
Hey ladies,
So I really want to make sure we get this luxury yurt before that gross girl from yoga that I overheard talking about in Starbucks does so if you can all just paypal me $800 yesterday that would be great!! I can’t wait I am so outdoorsy, like remember that time when I let that guy take me on picnic for our first date? I mean lol what was he thinking, any date where I end up with grass stains on my ass is not going to end in me giving you my Twitter handle!!
We need full a “glamping” themed “email girls” post stat!
Yes, yes, YES!
“Glamping” is officially the least glamorous portmanteau word ever.
Yes. It sounds so much less like David Bowie and more like something that happens at an uncomfortable follow-up visit to the gyno.
I keep getting one telling me to ask my parents to take me to the park/forest. Nothing has made me more comfortable with the fact that companies are gathering huge amounts of personal data on me than their obvious incompetence at using it.
I got that one too. My parents are not going to be taking me to a forest. They live on another continent and also the forest has bears and mountain lions in it so my mother is going nowhere near there.
I did go camping last weekend, though, but it was at the beach.
Here’s a cool/dispiriting article about the general level of incompetence in internet surveillance and anti-surveillance measures. https://medium.com/message/81e5f33a24e1
[Side note, I am so over that way of prettifying articles, it’s just unnecessary most of the time.]
I am at an age where my parents would have to ask ME to take THEM to the forest. Of course, I would say no.
I’m getting an ad for Cenegenics Elite Health. “Get Your Healthy Aging Kit FREE”
I don’t know how old the interwebs thinks I am, but I’m not that old. It’s featuring a 74 year old guy with a six pack.
Because I can’t actually log into the toast at work and have my toast look normal, yesterday every time I clicked the “replies” dropdowns in comments I was instead redirected a Georgia Reproductive Specialists survey instead of more comments. Today I also have Cenegenics!
Mine are all in Dutch, which, fine, that’s where I am. 50% korting op schoen!
I’ll admit I don’t hate the concept, but the name is the wooooooooooooooorst.
I kinda hate that the concept seems entirely invented as a way to sell me lots and lots of objects to fill my car with (of course I have a car, right?).
Ugh, there’s a luxury camping site that I e-mailed to yell at them about their racist Indian headdresses, and now I constantly get ads for them.
Wow. That’s a volume of fail that is intensely layered. It’s the wedding cake of fails.
Has anyone seen this (not super new but kinda) new video by Sia? I’m slightly obsessed with it – the girl’s moves are so raw and awesome and the song is amazing and my choreography brain has been up at night thinking about it… check it ouuuuutttt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vjPBrBU-TM&fe…
I think The Hairpin traffics in Sia.
I love love loved that interview with Jane Marie and honestly, I find her whole series for Cosmo to be very interesting and honest.
Yes, that series is awesome. The couples featured have been fairly diverse, too.
I loved it too, especially this:
Our marriage is separate from you and me. It’s its own third thing, like the Holy Ghost. SO TRUE.
The whole series has been really interesting.
I have been loving this series as well. My favorite line from this one: “What I find interesting about relationships, you can talk about the same thing five times but there might only be one time where it actually gets through to somebody because they heard it in a certain way.”
So damn true.
Dad Alert! President Obama has a super-dad-like workout.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2648339/W…
Raise your hand if you love dads!
Me! I love dads!
Also, I find it weird but somehow heartening that the President of the United States has to work out in the same dumb hotel gym that everyone else uses. Weird sizes of dumbbells! A preponderance of drywall! Machines tucked into odd corners! It probably smells like stale B.O.! And the leader of the free world, working on his delts.
(Now I REALLY want to see the inside of the White House gym.)
Ahahaha of course Maureen Dowd can’t eat a pot candy bar without going all Reefer Madness
MAUREEN. Welcome to high school, Mo.
Read Maureens follow up where she goes in to a liquour store, chugs a bottle of vodka and starts feeling a little woooozy!
You took the words right out of my brain. OF COURSE Maureen Dowd in her “corduroy jeans” had a bad experience! Of. Course.
I laughed outloud when she started describing being thirsty and unable to get up to get water. It was just like, “Yup! That’s what it’s like; settle down and enjoy the ride.”
(I’m in Washington so I also tried edibles for the first time recently, albeit in the company of a good friend at home and not in an unfamiliar place like a hotel room)
Also, Maureen Dowd, there are no such thing as “corduroy jeans”. That is an oxymoron.
Tried marijuana for the first time in Denver back in January when I was visiting friends. At the shop, we told them that we were rookies and interested in edibles. “LET ME SPLAIN YOU A THING,” said the clerk, “EDIBLES ARE WAY STRONGER THAN NEWBIES THINK, we want you to have a good experience, start off with these weed-infused lemon drops which should provide in the vicinity of 10mg per pop, if you don’t feel anything after an hour, THEN take another one, and also have a glass of milk.”
Not every clerk is going to be as awesome and non-condescending as the one we had, but I note the op-ed doesn’t say if Maureen Dowd actually ASKED any one of the three people she probably had to deal with (security, clerk, cashier) how to do it or if there was anything she should know. God forbid a journalist have to ask people questions outside of an interview!
I live in Colorado and support legalization, but I do think the industry needs to Do Better on mandating labeling/instructions/explanations for edibles, if only from a CYA standpoint. They’re definitely the most appealing option for newbies, despite being one of the more intense ways to ingest pot. There’s been a lot in the local media about the fact that serving sizes are not standard, there’s not really good testing for THC content or even a way to know if the THC concentration is similar along an entire candy bar or cookie.
I am greatly enjoying the Maureen Dowd jokes, but there’s a legit fix to be made here, is what I’m saying.
Oh, for sure. I’m a shy nerd, and some days I just don’t feel like talking to people. Labels would help with that. And part of the reason I held off for so long is because I wanted more government oversight, because like hell do I know what’s good weed and what’s bad weed. I’m all for labels and testing.
But, you know, I’m also not a New York Times journalist who could’ve averted this by doing her job with people who weren’t Expert Officials.
“I’d like a handle of rum, I guess?”
*drinks it all*
“I FEEL TERRIBLE WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WARN ME”
Hahaha GRANTED. But people are idiots, and I’m frankly hoping the industry tries to head off problems so other states follow our lead and we can stop having overcrowded jails.
I did a server training thing before I really took up drinking much. It covered stuff like what a standard drink is and what the effects of alcohol are and how to estimate what someone’s blood alcohol content will be based on their intake, weight and sex. And I found that to be super helpful knowledge to have for my own sake.
So, you’re right that we don’t really educate everyone about alcohol dosing and effects, but maybe we should. It would definitely be more useful than the “don’t drink! ever!” message they try to teach kids.
Huh. I think that educational approach is working out about as well for alcohol as it is for sex.
yeah but to be fair we have some idea of what “a handle of rum” entails. You learn pretty early on what a shot is, what a beer is, etc. Sure, you still end up getting confused sometimes & drunker than you like (hi, 8% Belgian beers), but edibles can be really inconsistent and confusingly sized – like, why wouldn’t you eat a whole brownie? Who doesn’t eat a whole brownie? Oh.
so yeah, they could label shit better. Some people will still be dumb, but at least then we can say “you didn’t read the label, you idiot.”
“You learn pretty early on what a shot is, what a beer is, etc.”
Some of us learn pretty early on how high a joint gets you and how to MacGuyver a bong out of a Pepsi Bottle, and that you should probably eat a quarter of that brownie to see how strong it is before downing the whole thing. MANDATED BONFIRE PARTIES IN THE WOODS SMOKING JOINTS FOR ALL 14 YEAR OLDS, is what I’m advocating here.
(I know that attitudes about pot are *wildly* different in most places than where I grew up in NorCal, it was just something everyone did, NBD)
For the record, I completely agree with you about the labeling.
I have a feeling that the middle-aged women who haven’t smoked a joint since the 70s and are considering doing a weed now that it’s legal do not have the same experience as you.
you’ve hit upon something here. I think perhaps as weed use is normalized, there will come to be a more common cultural understanding of HOW to consume weed. Right now there are a fair number of people who have no idea, whereas most adults (and teens) have some idea of HOW to consume alcohol, if anything because it’s more commonly seen on TV and in movies.
That’s kind of the point that I badly tried to make above. While I think that accurate labeling is important and necessary, kids have been doing this for years without it.
Hi did we have the same youth/possibly hang out at the same bonfires? Norcal dirtbag teens 4 lyfe
My feelings about that column were that it made some points – better & more clear packaging on edibles, and better communication between sellers and buyers about strength. I too have been hoodwinked by dispensary edibles that are just WAY too strong for anyone but a regular pot-consumer. On the other hand, chocolate bars are one of the MOST POTENT edibles because you can pack a lot of THC oil in there. It really is unfortunate the person behind the counter did not tell Maureen Dowd that, because I’m the dispensary in question stocked some lower-strength edibles – usually rice crispies or lollipops are on the low end. In my experience of taking and sometimes making edibles, people really do want to eat “all” of something. It’s much easier to dose right if you make cookies where 1 cookie is a moderate dose, and 2 is an intense dose. Edibles where 1/4 of a cookie is the right amount don’t make sense psychologically – no one wants to eat 1/4 of a cookie, no one wants to have a few nibbles of chocolate. So those things – good points.
The bad points, though, were all of the fearmongering about WEED that will KILL OUR CHILDREN and YOU NEED TO KNOW this stuff is DEADLY POISON “balanced” by “we could never label anything because then it will all be grey and boring” like those are the two most extreme and ridiculous opinions. Also, Maureen Dowd, WHY DID YOU TAKE DRUGS ALONE IN AN UNFAMILIAR CITY. Jeeze. Get a friend and plan some activities. Having a panic attack on edibles, alone in a hotel room, indeed sounds terrible and much like the first time I tried pot as a dumb 18 year old.
BUT IT’S NOT A COOKIE IT’S DRUGS IN DISGUISE AS A COOKIE
Yeh like realistically when you’re eating cookies that also get you baked you’re not gonna wind up eating all the cookies.
Ask me about the first time I had brownies! FYI, doing lines of Ritalin will NOT help you get your shit together when you have to open the store the next day and you’re still WAY. TOO. HIGH. Literally nobody had ever told me how much you do/do not eat, and I had been smoking pot regularly for four years at that time AND had a year at The Evergreen State College under my belt.
Seriously, I had one brownie, didn’t feel anything, got the munchies, and ate two more. NOBODY HAD SAID THIS ISN’T SOMETHING YOU DO.
You will also accidentally eat all of them if you make 2 batches at once and put a plate of fresh, warm baked goods on the coffee table. You and your friends might normally have good weed judgement, but FRESH WARM MUFFINS RIGHT THERE while you watch TV and then you eat too many and you sleep forever. Always put the edibles in a different room while they are still fresh and warm, that’s some real advice. (Also because fresh edibles taste way less like weed than they do after they’ve cooled and sat for a day)
A friend of mine had never done drugs in her life until she started medical marijuana a year or so ago, and when she went to her first dispensary, she told them it was her first time and they still gave her an extremely potent brownie with no warning about how much not to eat and she had a pretty unpleasant overdose. Fortunately, she’s a rational person so her response was, “huh, maybe not so much next time,” not “WEED KILLS,” but it was still really irresponsible of the dispensary staff.
The problem with dispensary staff is that most of them consume weed on a regular basis, so they can have skewed perceptions about strength. The number of people I’ve seen get knocked on their ass by edibles because a frequent smoker didn’t think and assumed the dose they took would be fine for everyone…This is why labeled packaging is important, again.
That argument that agreeing to consider reparations would never work because then EVERYONE would want reparations makes me so screechy. It’s just a mini-version of the rebuttal argument everything is basically all the same. Like, you can never criticize ANYTHING, because when you think about it, everything has its bad qualities. And, yes, there will always be that asshole who wants to know, “Why don’t we have white history month?” but why would we ever want to listen to that guy?
BUT even if you’re willing to pretend that argument has some merit, it is true that the US has made some effort to right other wrongs, and it didn’t create a chaos of everyone else of demanding the same thing. Or maybe Frum blames the Indian Health Service for Obamacare, I don’t know.
I love Jane Marie and wish her all the happiness ever and her husband seems like a genuinely good dude, but I got legit mad at him pulling the whole “oh, hey, I think I might be moving to California, BTW ” thing. I mean, what???
Seriously! I would be BEYOND pissed. How could you do that to your partner?
I agree. Also, did it bug anyone else that, for every single question, the husband answered first and then the wife kind of responded/rebutted to what he said? Like, holy relationship metaphor, Batman!
She was the one doing the interview, it is her series.
I know, but it still bothers me that he answered every question first, given that she stated (at the beginning of the article) that they were trying to do the interview in the same way that she interviewed other couples, and that the interview was supposedly of them as a *couple* not of him as a *husband.*
No, that’s fair! I think it worked most consistently this way, but I also find men incomprehensible, so I too would have used this as a chance to probe the mind of my male partner.
Oh yes, I can see why she chose to do it this way, I just don’t think the “husband answers, wife responds to his answer” model was the best way to present how great their relationship is. I did like the interview though! The part about fighting especially struck me because it’s something I struggle with in my own relationship.
Jane Marie! Love her.
“Does he sound a little paranoid?”
Maureen. He is the opposite of paranoid. He is calling people out for being paranoid.
I actually agree with putting a marijuana leaf on edibles, but not to protect kids – to protect me! I don’t want to see some candy at my friend’s house and eat one and turns out I am high now. I would most likely be able to taste the difference, but people who have never had it might not be able to.
Probably eight years ago, one of our friends found a wrapped brownie in another friend’s fridge when she stopped by to pick something up at her house. Being a lady with a thing for sweets, she assumed it was fine and ate it, then it kicked in while she was stuck in traffic. She thought she had sunstroke and we had to explain that it was actually a magic brownie. We still laugh about that, but it would be the scariest thing ever.
What a coincidence, they just introduced a new prostitution bill here in Canada, and it is super paternalistic horseshit.
Harper just LOVES adopting legislative models from other countries that have been proven to not work. US prison policy! Swedish prostitution policy! What in the actual fuck.
Anyone want to talk about how much they hate Harper? I’m still freaking out over the McLachlin debacle. Man, that guy is a crazy control freak misogynist.
I am 100% convinced the last election results were bought/faked.
Waaaaah.
I wish I could argue against this with any conviction 🙁 🙁 🙁
In that vein, did you guys see this? Looks like I’m going to be on a watchlist faster than I anticipated: http://ottawacitizen.com/news/politics/government…
I don’t really have the energy to talk about my Harper feelings today, so I’m just going to roll my eyes and sigh/groan, but it’s a very heartfelt eye-rolling sigh/groan.
No, ok, I’m into that. GROOOOAN
“I just thought, ‘Well, OK. They know what they’re doing.’ And here we are: My worst nightmare,” Stewart said.
My worst cat-related nightmares aren’t nearly up to par. In my cat nightmares, the cat’s just, like, smothering me or something, not gleefully rampaging through a major international airport, pursued by dudes with sardines and birds of prey. Step up, subconscious!
This is cracking me up! Though it sounds more like a cat fantasy than nightmare.
Umm… I just noticed that all but one of my previous comments were ‘deleted by administrator’ did that happen to any one else?
Jane Marie’s husband Julian was on Inside Amy Schumer and I instantly recognized him just from their wedding photo.
You will also accidentally eat all of them if you make 2 batches at once and put a plate of fresh, warm baked goods on the coffee table. You and your friends might normally have good weed judgement, but FRESH WARM MUFFINS RIGHT THERE while you watch TV and then you eat too many and you sleep forever. Always put the edibles in a different room while they are still fresh and warm, that's some real advice. (Also because fresh edibles taste way less like weed than they do after they've cooled and sat for a day)