Hello lovelies, Roxane here.
If you watch those Doomsday Prepper shows and are wondering how you, too, can stock up on a lifetime, or a year of food supply, Costco has you covered.
Virginia Quarterly Review is looking for submissions for their Spring 2015 issue, Food in Our Time.
Speaking of food, here are the twenty most popular recipes from The New York Times Cooking section.
My beloved Channing Tatum is a master of e-mail. He too has been affected by the Great Sony Hack of 2014, but because he is perfect, we simply learn the extent of his perfection.
An excerpt:
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
In far more serious news, the shooting of Tamir Rice has been declared a homicide. That doesn’t guarantee justice, as evidenced by recent events, but I suppose it’s something.
The medical examiner in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, has ruled that the fatal shooting of 12-year-old Tamir Rice by a rookie Cleveland police officer last month was a homicide, and that the boy died from a gunshot wound just above his navel.
On Saturday, thousands of people across the country marched for justice for victims of police violence. Here is a time lapse video of the march in NYC. It feels like we are on the brink of something and it is amazing to behold. At NPR, Gene Demby examines the generational divide in the protests.
And I won’t lie. It took my breath away to see my own words on a protest sign.
Let’s all raise our voices this week, as best we can.
Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
Morning, Roxane!
I can totally see Channing Tatum guest-spotting on a “Hey Ladies” episode.
Ali: Hey ladies! I’m writing to get your outfit recommendations (in the form of Pinterest boards only pls!) for my date with Channing Tatum that is definitely going to happen! Tomorrow I am stalking him at his movie set and then he’s going to see me standing there with my Caramel Brûlée nonfat skinny extra caramel latte and it will be love at first sight! For him, I mean. Obvs I’m already in love. SO, send me your recs by COB! THIS IS HAPPENING!
Katie: Omg, I met him the other day at my social media start-up’s holiday party and he was suuuuuper nice! I was a little drunk lol and he watched my drink for me while I went to the Ladies’ room. Anyway, we hung out a couple times after that, nbd. He asked what my new years plans were and I was like not sure what to say! They want us to work but… IDK
Thank you, Roxane!
Oh man, I’m so glad I went to the Houston protest on Saturday (my first ever!). I mean, I think it was a little bit co-opted by those just looking to start shit, but it was still an important experience, and I wasn’t aware it was happening nationwide!
same here! just wandered into the one at Boston, and for the most part it was people sitting-in at Park Street peacefully occupying the intersection and doing Occupy-style microphone confessionals. I chatted with the police on duty too (bike duty!), and they were also very sympathetic and kind to us and protesters. Democracy in action! (and still true even though apparently things got a little co-opted/confrontational in Boston later).
I’m glad you had a good experience too! It didn’t even occur to me to talk to the cops. I know it’s slightly out of line from the expected view, but I really do appreciate the instances of cops using so much restraint with the majority of protesters, even though there’s always those ready to attack them at any moment and the cops don’t know which ones those are. And I do think it’s hard to stay calm and non-aggressive in the face of a lot of verbal abuse. Chants like “GET THOSE ANIMALS OFF THOSE HORSES!” make me uncomfortable.
The metro cops have been trained for a very long time now to smile for the cameras and wait until the news crews leave or isolate stragglers who are away from the main focus of attention; outside once-in-a-lifetime kind of incompetence like St. Louis that Selma shit ain’t flown since Selma, and yet people still get kettled and zapped and sent to the ER on the regular, and that you have that kind of reaction to seeing someone shout mean words at the nice men with guns and clubs shows how well it works.
I am not on the side of the cops. I just don’t see the point of aggravating them. Also I don’t like dehumanizing any group of people.
But your comments illuminate one aspect of my naivety, so thank you. I’m fairly new to this protest business.
God bless the gawker commenters who are debating whether he typed that or cut & paste those AHAHAHA’s
That just made my entire morning.
I just have the best mental image of Channing sitting at his laptop for minutes manically typing “h” “a” “h” “a” “h” “a” over and over and over again.
shift key or capslock, the people want to know
I’m thinking Shift, until 3/4 of the way through, when he remembered CapsLock was a thing.
Too many inconsistencies for copy/paste. bless.
If it were me, I wouldn’t have included the initial AAAAAAAAA in the bit I copied, but I’m glad he did because it makes it easier to tell that he did indeed c/p 49 total iterations of a 297-character string.
You are a golden god(dess).
I’m sure a lot of you have already seen this since Mallory tweeted about it over the weekend, but I am going to need you all to drop whatever you’re doing right now and LOOK AT THIS RIDICULOUS DOG RIGHT NOW. Look at his massive head and his tiny little legs! He looks like a bobblehead!
I’m assuming he’s a Rottweiler/corgi mix, although I refuse to ponder the technical details of how a Rottweiler might mate with a corgi. This dog is like the real-life equivalent of Shrek and Donkey’s babies.
JUST… LOOK AT HIM.
OMG THAT DOG
I WANTS HIM
and he needs a homeeeeeeee </3 </3 </3
Wilburrrrrrrr
HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DOG IN THE WORLD
(I mean, all dogs are technically The Most Beautiful Dog in the World, but shhhh. WILBUR!!!)
I CAN NOT STOP LOOKING AT THIS DOG. WILBUR!
That dog weights 70 lbs?!?!
I’m guessing most of it is his massive head.
Oh nooooo Wilbur is too fat! (if he is a corgi mix, which he definitely is, that’s…not great for his poor back.)
…I just sent the link to my dad (because how could I not?), and, well:
“Not to be cruel, but Wilbur looks a bit like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon.
“Wilbur would do best as the only doggy in the household.” I’ll say.”
DAD.
It was really nice to see that in the slew of Costco emergency preparedness food that bulk pet food was included. A touch of humanity in the end times for sure.
Gotta keep those pets at a healthy weight for when you run out of food and finally have to resort to eating them too!
The Costco link was so strangely compelling to me. I did kind of like how green unroasted coffee beans are considered “emergency food.”
ETA: AND a 50-lb bag of whole flax seeds!
“168 Total Servings of Beef Stroganoff Entrée with Real Freeze-Dried Beef Food Storage” oh god
as someone who attends burning man, this is an item relevant to my interests.
see also: 180 servings of mac & cheese.
They also seem to have a nice variety of vegetarian options. This is strangely appealing to me, since I genuinely sometimes worry about how I would re-introduce myself to meat in the event of an apocalyptic scenario. Thanks, Costco!
I do too! But it probably also has a lot to do with the fact that anyone hears you don’t eat meat, the first question is, “….but what about on a deserted island? THEN WHAT?!”
yabbut, I feel you are much more likely to find breadfruit, coconuts, and oysters on a deserted island rather than anything else. Maybe the occasional sea-gull egg.
Let’s be real, I am also not going to be killing any wild pigs or rodents on a deserted island — with what, a sharpened stick? Egg and plant gathering, oyster diving – MUCH more my style.
Slime!
Yeah, agreed. But also, I don’t plan on being stranded on a deserted island. To me that is very much a “I’ll cross that bridge, should I ever come to it” situation.
But yeah, oysters and coconuts, all the way. I hope that island has hot sauce.
I read “Doomsday Preppers” as “Doomsday Peppers” and wondered if 1) we were talking about some spicy pepper like a Ghost Pepper or something and 2) if there was an expected shortage of them.
In the meantime, I’m waiting for my tea to cool down so I can finally have caffeine this morning.
Doomsday Peppers: excellent name for a Hot Sauce
Could also be a great name for a metal band comprised entirely of redheads.
I’m getting “all-cheerleader Danzig cover band,” but maybe that’s just me
I should just trademark that name right now, shouldn’t I?
Quick! get the domain name too: DoomsdayPeppers.com Your One Stop shop for all things fiery
That Channing Tatum excerpt just confirms my suspicions that he is, in fact, a human golden retriever. “Who’s a good Channing??? YOU ARE!!” I mean, come on. He’s just adorable.
I am so utterly fascinated by the Sony hack. The backstabbing! The inept powerpoints! The fact that Amy Pascal doesn’t seem to know the difference between your and you’re! Lainey has new stuff up today, and it’s all so interesting.
At the same time, I do feel kind of guilty. I mean, a lot of information about a lot of people is suddenly available, and that’s terrible – I have a sort of identity thief right now (long story) and even that just feels so invasive. Then there’s the whole playing-into-the-hands-of-North-Korea thing. But I just can’t stop reading.
I’ve been enjoying every minute of it, in a combination of gawking at executive incompetence, schadenfreude at the reveal of all the internal racism and sexism, and the Steve Jobs biopic saga with a surprisingly sick burn by David Fincher.
I had some guilt over enjoying it, but that was all erased by Aaron Sorkin’s morally outraged op-ed about the hack in the NYT. “As a screenwriter in Hollywood who’s only two generations removed from probably being blacklisted, I’m not crazy about Americans calling other Americans un-American, so let’s just say that every news outlet that did the bidding of the Guardians of Peace is morally treasonous and spectacularly dishonorable.”
To quote an erudite man in the above links, “AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” etc.
I loved that David Fincher thing. It’s just such a superb way to deflect a line on conversation you’d rather not get dragged into. Poor Adam Driver just got caught in the crossfire.
Man that Costco thing would have made our lives as Mormons SOO much easier when I was a kid. We had to build an emergency food cache piece by piece over time, LIKE ANIMALS.
Also I was afraid of our food storage room because I wasn’t allowed in there and therefore assumed it was full of ghosts, monsters, or clowns.
Maybe it was. Ghosts are good eating, if you can get them to corporealize.
I’m sorry about the poor person who has to throw away that stash when it expires in 25 years.
When you get to like the 24th year, just have a big party and make people eat your 24 year old civilian MRE’s. You can call it an “I hate my friends” party.
Good Morning, Roxanne! I can only imagine the feeling of seeing your words used in proteset– how fulfilling! You must be very proud. I feel like we’ve had really great substitute teachers with Nicole gone. Gold stars for all.
The students at my marvelous university held a die-in on Sunday evening, not Saturday. It was the first day of finals and between 500 and 1000 students and community members marched into the packed undergraduate library, laid down on the floors, and made themselves seen and known. They wanted to increase attention for and further conversations about racism on campus. No one was arrested, no one was hurt, and bros took to Twitter to complain about the disruption to their infinitely important study schedules.
I’m so proud this morning.
This is great to hear! Hooray for standing up for human rights, hooray for upsetting bros!!!
If the bros had been studying all semester, they wouldn’t need to study so frantically now.
UW? Or maybe we had identical amazing protests at multiple universities. Finals protests! One of many awesome moments was the student-organizer in the library–to paraphrase: “You’d rather be studying? So would we. Are we making you uncomfortable? Good.” It was perfectly assertive and confronting but without any of the negative connotations those words come along with. People making claims that deserve to be made and taking public space that needs to be taken.
I’ve been avoiding the Sony hack stuff because I know someone who works there, but bless Channing Tatum, you big adorable goofball. I know he just got cast as Gambit, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until he finally joins the MCU and he and Chris Hemsworth can have a golden retriever-off and it will be the Best Thing Ever.
Also may be relevant to people’s interests: EW’s longform piece about the making of Gone With The Wind.
But what about Chris Pratt?? I guess it can be a three-sided golden-retriever-off.
I want a movie that is just three hours of Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth and Channing Tatum goofing off. With a guest appearance by Chris Evans (possibly bearded) who will just laugh and grab his and the others’ left boobs.
I will fund this movie on Kickstarter, where’s the campaign.
The half of my sexual orientation that likes guys has recently swung around to point solely at beardy Chris Evans. He is my true North.
Golden Rethreever?
Gambit? GAMBIT? CHANNING TATUM? WHAT? This makes no sense at all and I cannot deal with it.
I am with you on this. I understand that they are still trying to make him happen, and yes, I agree that he is a human Golden Retriever, BUT HE SHOULD NOT BE GAMBIT.
That sign is fantastic.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a soft spot for Channing Tatum. (I almost said “Channing Tatum-sized soft spot”, but thought that sounded a bit dirtier than what I was going for. Although…)
The costco food is BEAUTIFUL. All pastel colors and stacked into little pyramids. “240 Total Servings of Freeze Dried Cheese Food.” I want it.
The costco food is beautiful EXCEPT for when they felt the need to photograph the actual food. Costco, showing a picture of the freezedried beef is not going to entice anyone to buy it…
Okay I just want to say I am in the library right now doing like, actual manuscript research on my (second) book and omg this is so intimidating help.
You got this.
Just take it Bird by Bird, Jaya. You can do it!
I know this is not an open thread but I don’t care because I was at work early this morning (and jacked up on way too much caffeine) for my very first website launch and it all seems to have gone well *knock on wood* and I didn’t break anything and it looks like I wrote code that will actually make other people’s lives easier aaaaaaaa
Congratulations! 😀
Thank you! I’m gonna be riding this buzz all day. (I’m pretty sure it’s the coffee buzz, to be honest, but I’ll take it.)
Today I learned that oysters can get herpes.
“As a screenwriter in Hollywood who’s only two generations removed from probably being blacklisted”
I am staggered. That is amazing. I want him to form a coalition.
Cant wait till he writes the follow up: “As a straight white male, I’m only one race, one gender and one sexual orientation away from struggling with racism, sexism and homophobia.”
I don’t even have a Costco membership, but now I kind of want to buy the giant thing of freeze-dried fruit and then try my very best not to eat it all in a week. (Damn the digestive consequences!) Freeze-dried fruit is so good, y’all.
I know! I should be studying for 4 finals, but I can’t stop thinking about just buying giant multi-gallon tubs of dried fruits.
I think someone should set up an e-mail service where you can get prewritten Channing Tatum e-mails delivered to your inbox whenever you’re feeling down. Just imagine how cheered you would be on recieving two solid pages of “AHAHAH” when you’re worrying about a job interview or sad about spending Christmas alone!
I am no programmer, but now I’m wondering if someone could write a script that would randomly pull or chop up a released Tatum email and send it out through TinyLetter or something similar.
We could call it “Tatum Thoughts.”
Anyone up for a little Emily Yoffe/Slate contrarianism schadenfraude? This is about how her campus rape story of the other week mucks around with stats – http://nothinginbiology.org/2014/12/15/finding-bi….
Thank you! I listened to about half of that podcast, until I had to stop because steam was starting to come out of my ears.
First impulse on seeing that Costco link: I should email that to my dad!
Second thoughts: No, I don’t want to encourage him.
And you didn’t even get a little bit arrested?! Good!
YES, I managed to avoid that. 😛
Food glorious food!
something something and CUS-TARD!
Anyone else know the words to this song?
Boiled wizards and custard
Eggs boiled with bluster
“Fish fingers and custard” has completely replaced whatever the real version was in my head.
Yummmm!
Yep. Forever.
Food glorious food
hot sausage and mustard
while we’re in the mood
cold jelly and custard
pease pudding and saveloys,
what next? is the question.
rich gentlemen have it, boys,
IN-DYE-GESTION!
food, glorious food,
I don’t recall this verse,
something about stuff,
small boys singing about gluttony
just picture a great big steak,
fried, roasted, or stewed,
oh, food, wonderful food,
glorious food.
food, glorious food,
we’re anxious to try it,
three banquets a day,
our favorite diet.
just thinking of getting fat
puts us in the mood
for food, wonderful food, fabulous food, marvelous food,
GLO-RI-OUS FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Do you sing this at family gatherings?
We do not, for we are not picturesque orphans who long for the many problems caused by overconsumption.
Now, if this were a requirement for every musical number, no one could sing Cats songs, Grease! would be off-limits past high school, and Les Miserables would only come up every time the ghost of some poor French Revolutionary was stirred into animation.
Bless you for this. My elementary school put this musical on and I was one of the orphans. I sang it so many times at such a young age that it’s a persistent memory that I can’t quite remember and it never quite bothers me enough to actually look it up but now I feel like a teeny tiny weight has been lifted.
Food, glorious food!
Eat right through the menu
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite
In this interlude, for-
Food! Once again, food! Fabulous food! Glo-ri-ous foood!
That’s in there somewhere, I remember, though I couldn’t tell you where. Oh, and:
Food, glorious food
Don’t care what it looks like.
Burned, underdone, crude,
Don’t care what the cook’s like.
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood, on
Food! Glorious food! etc.
(Why yes, the musicals of my childhood are taking up large chunks of my brain…why do you ask?)
He is apparently a MASSIVE fan of Gambit, and has been petitioning/pawing at/working on this role for months, if not years. I honestly wasn’t sure they’d give it to him, even after all that. Now THOSE emails I would love to see.
ETA: This was in reply to elsajeni above. Oh IntenseDebate….
I once spent far too long on this lady’s Prepper Recipe, or Prepcipe, blog. I love her: http://www.cookingwithmyfoodstorage.com/
The pictures won’t load in at work but there goes my next half hour
at some point, she tests a SUN OVEN and it’s amazing
TARDIS is the perfect name for a corgi and corgis are perfectly designed to be named TARDIS. Yes. I approve.
The pictures won't load in at work but there goes my next half hour
You are a golden god(dess).
Thank you! I listened to about half of that podcast, until I had to stop because steam was starting to come out of my ears.
When you get to like the 24th year, just have a big party and make people eat your 24 year old civilian MRE's. You can call it an "I hate my friends" party.