Photo Brian Yen
Guys, it’s Monday. For some of you, it’s the beginning of a holiday week. For others, well, it’s Monday and I’m sorry about that.
I’m sure this is some kind of comment on our times, but the image of a woman transfixed by her phone won the People category in the 2014 National Geographic photography contest.
When the need to dance takes over, you surrender to the dance. This drum major will show you what’s up.
Here’s a cultural history of baseball cards. I cannot believe I used to collect these things. I don’t even follow baseball, never have.
In a small town in Switzerland, there is a curious hobbit hole leading to the Greisinger Museum. It’s on the agenda now, trust.
If there is a cryptozoologist in your life, here are some gift ideas for them. Spelling cryptozoologist is hard but it is a fun word to sound out.
As an editor, I would happily publish any of these essays women of early middle age would like to see. Feel free to submit those to The Butter.
I did not know you could cheat at bass fishing but apparently, this is a thing and perhaps you would like to read more about it.
If you enjoy looking at pictures of food, these are the Instagram accounts you will want to follow in the new year.
Children of the eighties! A Pac Man themed restaurant is opening in the Chicago area. It is called Level 257!
During an end of the year press conference, President Obama only called on women and the world instantly improved, albeit very briefly.
At the Society Pages, sociologist Joshua Page asks photographer Noah Berger how he got the “iconic” shot from recent protests.
Ijeoma Iluo writes, for Medium’s The Archipelago, that we should raise our brown children to be audacious. I yearn for such a thing.
I hope it goes without saying that our thoughts are with the loved ones of Officer Rafael Ramos and Officer Wenjian Li, two New York City police offers who were murdered on Saturday. Our thoughts are still with the loved ones of Michael Brown, Akai Gurley, Eric Garner, John Crawford, and Tamir Rice. May we never forget their names or how they lost their lives.
Tags: link roundup, the internet
I wish for all of those essays to be written immediately so that I have plenty of holiday break reading.
But for real I could use some help on the ankle boot front.
My boots are mostly ankle boots–I hadn’t realized that this was a challenging thing (that I might be messing up horrifically).
Me too!
I think it depends on the shape of your calves/ankles. They can make your legs look a bit blocky if they hit in the “wrong” spot for your legs (but whoooo caaaaaares).
You’re probably fine. I just want someone to tell me how to wear them without my jeans getting all bunchy.
I always kind of think of the jean-bunch as a part of the look.
*whispers* pull your socks over the bottoms of your pants
Also the airy conversations with hairstylist front. So goddamned stressful.
That was the only one I could totally write myself. I want someone with a really in-depth knowledge of Woolf and who is funnier than I am to write “10 Things We’d Like to Hear Virginia Woolf Say to Jonathan Franzen”.
This is how I choose hairstylists! Every time I have moved to a new city, I keep changing hairstylists until I find one I don’t hate talking to. What they do with my hair is secondary.
The essays women of early middle age would like to see is brightening my Monday morning, but this one:
“Millenials: Nothing But Love But Also, Take a Minute and Read a Book or a Thousand”
Whyyyyy? Why do people think we don’t read books? I don’t understand this stereotype and – I’m not going to do the research right now to support this, apologies – but most of the stats I’ve seen do not support it.
As a non-millennial (indeed, perhaps a person of early middle age!) I read this more a gently ironic dig at feeling impatient at younger people for not acting like middle-aged people yet, and then knowing it’s absurd, but then still feeling it.
Like 80% of my students are delightful people – a much higher ratio than found in my own generation, and surely not at all the result of me being in a position of power over them and thus them trying to please me – but I really look forward to the point where they’ve accreted like 40% more information about the world. They’ll be unstoppable engines of awesome.
Apparently y’all did stop reading but then Harry Potter happened. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/young-people-a…
I’m a millennial and I read more than most people I know, boomers especially. In my experience its the baby boom generation who don’t read many books SO THERE dumb internet articles. Maybe find a new fake-crisis, cause dissing millennials is getting old.
Yeah, it sure fucking is Monday, isn’t it.
I am so sad about those police officers, and I feel guilty about how much of it is worry that their deaths will be used to cripple the protests. This tragedy isn’t opposite the tragedies of Michael Brown and the others. It’s part of the same power structure. Anger at the police doesn’t come because they are subject to criticism, but because they try to suppress it. Those two men shouldn’t have been anybody’s target.
I’ll also say that, whatever the killer’s background turns out to be, he is not an aspect of the protests the way Tamir Rice’s or Eric Garner’s or Michael Brown’s killers are an aspect of police culture. There is no political network working to protect his image, or to besmirch his victims, or to raise millions and solicit perjury for his defense. No one is denying what he did is a crime.
Very much agree with all these sentiments.
Especially the guilt around having my sadness over two violent deaths all mixed up with my rage at basically everything anyone associated with the NYPD is saying in the press right now.
Also, insignificant side note: anyone know for sure if the officer’s name is Wenjian Li or Wenjian Liu? I’ve seen both in different places. The NYT and the Post seem to have it as Liu.
I heard this on NPR on my commute and had to share: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/12/22/37148…?
Cattle-ranching nuns in Colorado, guarded by llamas who can disembowel mountain lions. They also have an adorable water buffalo named Yoda.
Thank you. I needed that today.
Thank you! This article brought me no small amount of joy. (And oh my gosh, you can see why they call her Yoda!)
“Strangely Funny Moments in The House of Mirth”
I am all over this and I will even act them out for you with other amateurs and it will be better than the film was, at least
All of those essays of early middle-age women are me but especially “I Have Thoughts About the Revolution, But I Have Not Slept and Can’t Find My Other Shoe”
That one filled me with such joy that I read it aloud to myself like a loon (while not wearing shoes).
“10 Things We’d Like to Hear Virginia Woolf Say to Jonathan Franzen” YES
Horsely Toastrons, please enjoy Charlotte Dujardin and Valegro’s astonishing freestyle test in London. The piaffe! The walk on a long rein! The huuuge canter! I don’t usually get much out of watching even very high level tests, because I am a philistine, but I’ve watched this at least five times already and still get goosebumps when he goes into the extended trot and canter.
I know nothing about dressage, but that was so elegant. It was like he was dancing on air, seriously.
That was amazing. I think one of the things I love about dressage is watching the horses THINKING! And he was clearly thinking.
Also, the music was a SPECTACULAR choice!
Blueberry/Valegro’s little curious face at the end slays me. He is so chill with 6000 people giving him a standing ovation.
Such a gorgeous test.
Soon I shall apply for a credit card under the name Horse Lee Toastron. The evidence trail begins here.
No, you are not the only one who isn’t having pleasant airy chit-chat with your stylist.
YESSSS. Usually mine will ask about how my week is going, and that’s about 10 minutes, and then she just kind of works in silence? Honestly, I don’t mind it at all. The white noise of blowdryers is so soothing to me that sometimes I have to struggle to stay awake.
Last time I was there the young pretty boy washing my hair was asking me what I was reading, and it was Wolf Hall, and then he asked me what it was about…
Oh. Now that sounds pleasant.
I have a lot of anxiety about this, especially since getting a haircut is something that occupies less than an hour of my time every 8 weeks or so.
thank goodness, I never know what to say, its always:
“what do you do for work”
“i teach physical chemistry and do research”
“I HATED CHEMISTRY IN HIGH SCHOOL”
“um ok”
When people say that they swear by their hairstylist, it means that they’ve found a hairstylist they can talk to.
I don’t know how it happened, but I finally found a stylist that I can talk to with it being awkward, and I am never ever ever leaving her.
Same. Mine asks my opinion on political issues. I love her.
$80 Is Not Too Much to Pay for the Best of Something, Even A Bra…please!
For real.
“$80 Is Not Too Much to Pay for the Best of Something, Even Especially A Bra”
Fixed that for you.
“Sentimental As Fuck: Having Feelings Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Have Reasons.”
Every fight with my husband, ever.
That drum major is my everything.
That bass fishing article captivated me. I am not a sports/competition/whatever we can throw bass fishing, rodeo, other sorts of athletic things in with, etc…type things, but DEAR GOD do I love long form about it.
I’ve already written ““Publicly Editorializing on Strangers’ Behavior: A How-To Guide.” In my mind. Several times.
I love the interview with a protest photographer. Recently I was asked to take pictures at a demonstration for an organization I’m part of. It turns out that’s HARD! Either you’re looking at the back of somebody’s head or you’re half a block away trying to make it look like people are doing more than just milling around on the sidewalk. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since, because the truth is that most demonstrations– even successful ones– don’t have that really dramatic moment. But people expect to see it, or to see some sort of Tahrir-style crowd of millions, or they don’t think it’s very impressive!
Honestly I’m fine with ankle boots but could clearly benefit from advice on how to wear tall boots without terminal pant leg scrunch.
“Witty Meeting Comebacks that Indicate Your Displeasure While Concealing the (Professionally Discrediting) Whirling Dervish of Your Rage” is really all I need forever and ever though.
Skinny jeans. Skinny jeans are the only way. As tight as you can tolerate. The “wrap the bottom around” does not work and will only bring you suffering.
I want all the things in the cryptozoology list, but especially the kraken bookends, because it speaks to me both as a fan of cryptids and House Greyjoy.
Apparently the SCP Foundation puts out T-shirts, which I would think be against their SOP.
My Dad is tournament bass fisher (on a small scale) and we were watching a bass fishing tourney last night (against my will). It’s far more interesting than it has any right to be.
My dad doesn’t compete, but he does fish and hunt and often watches it on TV. It is surprisingly entertaining sometimes!
A tournament bass fisher?? Your dad needs to be featured on a Dad Magazine cover sometime.
Also, to be honest I think that photo of the woman looking at her phone is really lovely. Like she’s having a moment of cool, quiet solitude in the midst of a warm party crowd. She doesn’t seem to be missing out on anything. She Has It All!
The lighting in that piece is just fantastic. The glow from her phone in front of her and the skylights above envelopes her like the photographer had the ability to paint light exactly where it needed to go.
She’s the center of the world.
hi guys. sorry to kind of ‘open thread’ here but: http://www.startribune.com/local/286559561.html
Milwaukee cop shot a Black man with untreated mental illness after aggravating the man against protocol. No charges.
On a personal note, I arrived in Milwaukee yesterday to be with my family for the holiday. My mom brought up this killing nonchalantly this morning, she was going to call my dad at the office to warn him that there might be protests. So that accelerated the “talk” pretty quickly– she listened to me, and I think she was really trying to understand, but she’s still resistant to admitting that we, my family and white people in general, ARE the problem, and to expunge that weird icky victim blame-y vocabulary from her dialogue. I’m even more worried about talking to my dad.
So I’m having a panic attack, here on the kitchen floor with my dog, who is dying. Have any of your had success talking to your parents? How do I do this without hating my family? Please help.
I’m very sorry about your dog. I have no advice for speaking with your family, but I wanted to offer my sympathies on your pup. I highly recommend clipping a lock of fur to keep.
I have had zero success, and the best I can offer is consolations for your dog. My parents 14 year old beagle just had knee surgery (his ACL just gave out one day, I guess on account of him being old) and it made me remember even more how precious our dogs are.
I also have nothing to offer but cuddles for your dog and skritches behind the ears for all who need them.
Hi –
So sorry to hear about your pup. 🙁
I’m no expert on the family stuff, although I can totally relate. The best outcome I can report is that my dad has spent the last 10 years moving from a rabid FOX-watcher to a disengaged, cynical quasi-conservative who sometimes brags that “all political people and movements are equally corrupt and terrible, and I don’t care about any of it anymore.”
My parents live with us and we’ve developed a long list of things we just don’t discuss for the sake of harmony. But when we do have these difficult conversations, he seems to be most receptive to:
1) Presenting things in a historical context. I’ve been trying to get him to think on the long and bloody history of white supremacy in the US. He tends to think, that was then, it’s over now, this isn’t a problem still and I’ve been trying to understand– and help him understand — the through-lines that connect then to now (housing policies, bias in the criminal justice system, etc).
2) “I know you’re a decent person and you raised me to be a decent person and that’s why we have to pay attention to what A LOT of people are saying is a serous problem.”
3) My dad relies on me a great deal and trusts my judgement almost implicitly, except when it comes to politics. I’ve pointed out that he admits he doesn’t care about this issue, and its one I’ve been paying close attention to by listening to those who are directly affected by it and who are dedicating their lives to addressing the problem. How then could he, in his willful ignorance know more about the actualities of modern day white supremacy than the people who live with it?
I struggle a lot with this. I don’t live near a large city where protests are happening, and beyond donating money and trying to amplify the voices of those who know more than I ever will about it, I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think it falls to me to change his mind and heart on it, but I know that he can’t be my personal project or responsibility. And then I go for a walk.
best to you and your pup.
When I’m talking to family about equality, I find the following things helpful.
1.) It took me a while to realize the extent and depth of the terrible racist past of the US; lots of very very kind and very strong people educated me over several years. I try to have patience when other people take a similarly long time. I don’t think I’ve really got the scope down yet; I can be one tenth as good as Roxane, I can be patient even though it is hard.
2.) Family is great, because you can tie your rage about inequality to the values they tried really hard to teach you: fairness, honesty, bravery, protecting people with less power than you. If you phrase it as “You taught me that this was important, and so I’m treating it as important”, a lot of parent’s feelings that acknowledging systematic inequality means acknowledging that they are bad people are mitigated by the evidence that they value important things and raised good children.
3.) I have a lot of negative feelings about my own culpability, and I feel like I’m not doing enough: sometimes it’s good to acknowledge that to people I’m trying to convince, sometimes they use that as a reason to dismiss me. Still: part of the reason this wears me out is because I am dissatisfied with my own actions. It’s good to keep this in mind when I’m making some progress in an argument and I still want to sit on the floor with my head in my hands.
4.) This Ta-nehisi Coates article about racist GI mortgage policies is good evidence for white people from the Midwest who say “My ancestors didn’t own slaves, I didn’t live in the South, I don’t see how I, personally, benefitted from racism.” http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/… Vis. Post second world war, many returning soldiers qualified for GI mortgages – this is the way my family became middle class – but neighborhoods where Black people could buy houses were “high risk” and not eligible for the same mortgage. As a result, housing costs outside of those neighborhoods were lower.
WAIT. Re: the ladies of early middle age essays, I totally threw a wedding this year and I don’t think anybody wore wedges to it. I didn’t realize this was hard to do! … Why is this hard to do?
Wedges: often recommended for weddings with grass or cobblestones. Popular alternative to heels for bridesmaids in these weddings.
Cobblestones are just the worst for shoe choices. No winning there. Maybe boots?
I love wedges. I have plantar fasciitis, and wedges are the best way to wear something of a heel without feeling as if I’m walking on knives after standing for 30 minutes.
How to wear tall boots without your trouser legs scrunching: Leggings. That’s it. No, leggings are not trousers, but I’ve been convinced that they are, indeed, perfectly acceptable as stand-alone wardrobe items for one’s bottom half. Just give up trying to force your slacks and jeans into tall boots. You have better things to do with your time. Plus, your ass actually does look amazing, and if you eat too much at lunch and you develop a food baby in the late afternoon who fucking cares because you’re not wearing trousers with an inflexible waistband.
I have felt so much better about my body once I started wearing leggings with slouchy, over-sized sweaters. I’m not exaggerating when I say they were a life-changer.
Truth. Poncho sweaters, especially, are a gift from the gods this season.
So this is pretty much the style I aspired to throughout most of middle school. I met with only marginal success then, but I’m pretty sure I could kill it now.
This may also relate to my childhood dream of being Robin Hood.
Leggings are my unrequited love; alas, I have a zoomy hourglass figure with thighs like redwoods (which is fine, they’re strong as fuck in the pool) and relatively lean calves. The proportions of leggings with oversized tunic or sweater just doesn’t work for me. I salute those of you who can, and your food babies as well!
I’m not trying to talk you into wearing something that makes you emotionally uncomfortable, but you you just described my proportions. Here are my measurements (as of when I measured at the beginning of December).
Waist: 32″
Hips: 44″
Right thigh: 23″
Left thigh: 22″
Right calf: 12.5″
Left calf: 12″
And I look fucking amazing in leggings and tall boots.
Really? Hmmm. Maybe it is just an emotional discomfort rather than a straight-up “oh honey no”, and I should hit the post-Xmas sales to at least try wearing them around the house.
NGL, it took seeing a friend, who has my build but is about six inches shorter, rocking leggings and tall boots before I was okay with trying them myself. It was 100% a psychological block for me.
Tall boots make a big difference! I also have big thighs and relatively small calves, and I don’t love the way I look in leggings and shoes (although sometimes I wear them anyway because leggings are so much more comfortable than pants). But a pair of tall boots realy helps balance the look. If you have boots, give it a try!
Is it possible to do this as an inbetweenie (size ~14) without looking like a schlub? I feel schlubby enough in my jeans and cardigan.
Honestly, I don’t know about judging by sizes. I always go by measurements or S-M-L. My measurements are in a comment above, and I wear a size L on the bottom and an M on top. So I guess you can compare yourself to those and see what you think? FWIW, I feel more smooth and put together in leggings and a long cardigan (I fucking love cardigans) than I do in jeans and a sweater.
Doing this without looking schlubby isn’t really a size issue. So long as your face/hair/accessories situation is relatively put together it won’t look like you have just decided to wear pajamas in public.
relatively put together
Hm. Probably not for me, then. 😛
Inbetweenie size 16-18 reporting for duty: I do the tall boot/legging thing all the time, now that I have found a pair of boots that go over my plus calf. Typically with a shorter dress or tunic top. I even wear it for work with no issue. A+ would do again.
Ok, the drum major’s pretty great, but let’s acknowledge the people behind her who are also dancing, but while wearing Sousaphones.
For non-tweeting Toasties, Mallory retweeted this amazing Esme Wang piece about trauma and laughter that’s definitely worth a read if you’re looking for a work break and a chance to gaze upon the limits of human understanding. Nothing too fancy! http://www.esmewang.com/on-not-laughing-about-pne…
To UnHuhHoney: thank you, beautiful and wonderful Toastie, for telling folks about Mallory tweeting out my thing. It is very much appreciated. & I especially dig the “Nothing too fancy!” bit at the end. Also — geez, I need to remember my intensedebate ID or create a new one. Note to self.
For everyone tasked with helping me find an apartment and raise the deposit and moving fees, this is a holiday week! For me, so much a Monday I want to punch a wall. Wish instead that I was standing in a bustling crowd, illuminated by the light from a phone I don’t own, making meaningful contact with a meme of a cat falling off a table.
Is she transfixed by her phone, or by what’s on it?
The lighting in that piece is just fantastic. The glow from her phone in front of her and the skylights above envelopes her like the photographer had the ability to paint light exactly where it needed to go.
She's the center of the world.
Agreed! Tall boots are a nice visual balance for strong, tree-trunk thighs.
Inbetweenie size 16-18 reporting for duty: I do the tall boot/legging thing all the time, now that I have found a pair of boots that go over my plus calf. Typically with a shorter dress or tunic top. I even wear it for work with no issue. A+ would do again.
I find it especially baffling because when I hear the arguments and gently refute them based on my own experience with my generation, it goes all No True Scotsman. ‘OK, they read, but they only read mass market rubbish so it doesn’t count’. ‘OK, they read, but reading isn’t their MAIN form of entertainment’. ‘OK, they read, but they read this weird ‘YA’ stuff’. ‘OK, they read, but they don’t read the classics’.
And as an avid, Millenial reader, I find it silly to fixate on books as some sort of arbiter of intelligence or interesting-ness or anything. Reading is valuable both as an artform and for the skills it teaches you- but y’know, my sixty-odd mother basically stopped reading when film and TV became more accessible to her than they used to be, and I would never judge her for that. We’ve really gotta get past the silly elitist readers-are-the-best stuff. She’s no less awesome for dropping reading when something she enjoyed more came along.
‘OK, they read, but it’s on the computer so it doesn’t count.’