DeDe Jacobs-Komisar’s previous dispatches from Orthodox Jewish feminism can be found here.
1. He’s great at woodworking and generally pretty handy.
2. Sometimes I ask for a cup of water and he brings me a glass of wine and it’s like whoa, how did you know?
3. He bakes amazing challah and has been known to turn out vast quantities. Sometimes fish as well.
4. He covers his Semitic face in an untrimmed beard. Few mortals have ever seen his chin.
5. He has a complicated relationship with his father.
6. He’s not a big fan of authority, Pharisees, or money-changers, and really hates that thing where they auction off honors in the middle of shul.
7. He is often surrounded by loving-yet-headstrong disciples that some refer to as his “children.”
8. He was born of a virgin, or so he’d prefer to believe.
9. He has a tendency to orate at length about social justice and religion and the annoyingness of rich people, often while perusing the New York Times Sunday Real Estate section.
10. He prefers lounging in loose robes to ever having to put on pants.
11. As a youth, he was rebellious, experimented, and liked to blow shit up.
12. His (hand)writing has lent itself to multiple, much-debated interpretations over the years.
13. He was definitely not born on December 25.
14. Many are dubious as to whether he’s the messiah.
15. He’s just this guy, you know?
I don’t have an intelligent comment other than “hahahahahaha” and a request for the best deleted comments from this page.
Why is everything on the internet this morning so great. It’s not fair, I have work to do.
He’s not the Messiah- he’s a very naughty boy!
Can we please take a moment to reflect on how this “_____ or my Jewish Dude” is a BAJILLION times better than Lena Dunham’s.
I think we were all a little surprised that Borowitz hadn’t written it.
Dude, on the topic of Borowitz: is he actually ever funny? Because I have lots of smart friends who keep posting his stuff on FB and I’m always like… this is mildly entertaining preaching-to-the-liberal-crowd? But not really, like, the incendiary satire everyone says it is?
The New Yorker employs a lot of people who seemingly believe that a center-left position stated in a slightly obtuse way is a joke. Borowitz is simply the least offensive, blandest version of that. See also: Liza Donnely.
Still, sometimes they publish Heather Havrilesky or Simon Rich, so somebody knows what they’re doing.
exactly what I was thinking. Screw Lena. DeDe is a star.
He has a tendency to orate at length about social justice and religion and the annoyingness of rich people, often while perusing the New York Times Sunday Real Estate section.
PREACH
I see what you did there.
What the dickens is happening in this clip?
I’ve been watching this gif and giggling for five solid minutes now. I tried to look away 25 times and each lasted less than as a second.
“RICH PEOPLE!”
(I want Jesus to assist on Roxane’s roundups)
Love you, DeDe! As my mom would say (in a ridiculous Southern accent), “you’re a hoot!”
(Elton!!) (Jesus is rollin with the homies!!)
My introduction to him was as the asshole husband in 'Waitress', so I don't know how I would perceive him as Jesus.
So many of these actually apply to my Jewish husband. IS HE ACTUALLY JESUS and if so how do I tell for sure.
My fiancé cannot grow a beard to save his life and needs detailed, step-by-step instructions for things like “beating eggs” when he helps me bake, but pretty much the rest of it applies. (He is very good at making a full couscous dinner, though. I will give you this, Sephardic Jews – your food is mostly better, even if you have never heard of hamentaschen.)
Your fiance sounds adorable (and ambiguously Messianic I guess)! My main encounter with Sephardic food is that one of my dear friends from my old city always made Sephardic charoset for our friends-Seder, and it is the best. (Hamentaschen, tho, also the best)
So many of these actually apply to my Jewish husband. IS HE ACTUALLY JESUS and if so how do I tell for sure.
Catechism of the Network Stars?
Your fiance sounds adorable (and ambiguously Messianic I guess)! My main encounter with Sephardic food is that one of my dear friends from my old city always made Sephardic charoset for our friends-Seder, and it is the best. (Hamentaschen, tho, also the best)