I will not believe that Tom Cruise is leaving Scientology until he punches Miscavige in the face on live television, but a girl can dream (also, someone should Storify the two hours I spent tweeting about Tom Cruise on Sunday morning while my kid was at the park with her dad):
According to a report from Star Magazine, Tom Cruise is allegedly planning to leave the Church of Scientology. An inside source told the tabloid that the 52 year-old actor is finally going to break ties with the secretive and controversial religion in order to salvage his relationship with 9 year-old daughter Suri.
The source told Star that a recent phone conversation Tom had with his daughter made him realize that he’s missing important milestones of her childhood.
*
Sesame Street‘s Maria, and representation:
Manzano, then a 21-year-old Carnegie Mellon student, walked into the Sesame Street audition in the early 70s, amidst the turmoil and excitement of civil rights and Vietnam war protests. The world was changing and Sesame Street, then only a few years old, was speaking to that change on TV screens across America. “I had never seen people of color on television,” Manzano told CBS last year. “And that was like whoa! This show is really in your face and outrageous.” She went on to become an integral part of the multicultural neighborhood, as well as one of the lead writers, garnering 15 Emmys over the next four decades.
*
WORLD CUP!
(Image courtesy of Nikki’s 7 y/o daughter)
*
No choice without providers, team:
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that all medical schools offer opt-out abortion training, but the reality still lags behind the official guidelines. In a 2005 survey of U.S. medical schools in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, only 32 percent of respondents said they offer a formal lecture specifically about abortion as part of their OB-GYN rotation, and 23 percent reported “no formal education” about abortion at all. (Some schools that don’t have classes about abortion specifically may address the subject in classes on ethics or contraception.) In the same survey, 55 percent of medical schools reported that they offered students no clinical exposure to abortion.
*
Bolivar works the night shift at the WeWork space at 120 East 23rd Street. He and two other cleaners have five hours to clean the two kitchens, take out the garbage, mop the hallways, and dry mop the cubicle and office spaces. “We can’t do everything they want us to do,” he said. CBM also expects its employees to cover for absent co-workers whenever and wherever necessary, without paying overtime. “They love to add more work,” he said. For Bolivar, the organization effort is not only about fair compensation, “It’s respect that I would like.” Nobody inside WeWork has said anything to him about the union drive. “It’s business as usual,” Bolivar said.
*
This week, after an informal request from a law enforcement officer, Visa and MasterCard announced that they would no longer let their cards be used to process payments to Backpage.com, the most widely used site for adult advertising in the United States. American Express had already pulled out earlier in the year. This leaves Bitcoin and prepaid Vanilla Visa gift cards as the only ways to pay for advertising on the site.
Like many ostensible anti-trafficking efforts, this will do very little to actually affect human trafficking. It will, however, impact free speech, and serve to make many sex workers’ lives more difficult.
*
oh a lil rescue cat who thinks she’s a husky
*
Some of our very own readers singing “If Men Go To Hell, Who Cares?”
*
I really loved this essay by Porochista Khakpour:
To a degree I have even believed in mind over matter, always bringing up the same case, that same boyfriend Ryan’s father, the special-ops Vietnam War vet, with 10 million ailments, who sliced his hand in front of me while cooking. As we rushed to him with towels and gauze and Neosporin, we watched him simply hold his injured hand and squint his eyes hard, focusing on something, utterly silent. When he removed his hand there was no trace of what appeared to be a deep cut just moments before, just a very faint line, pristine and white, no hint of blood. “Mind over matter,” he said, and claimed he read it in a book. It reminded me of the time in elementary school when some substitute teacher showed a movie with Sufis eating glass and swallowing swords and smiling totally unscathed, how afterward I’d asked my Sufi grandmother about it, to which she had only one reply: “God.”
*
It’s not online, but our own Marika Prokosh has a Spinster’s Almanac-inspired essay in Poetry Is Dead.
*
*
Our friends have left. Since they are trying to raise my children to be culturally Russian-Jewish, they have succeeded in hooking my daughter on Hedgehog in the Fog, a typically terrifying and strange animated Soviet movie from 1975 that makes their previous successful attempt to hook my daughter on Vinni Pukh seem utterly benign. For some reason, my daughter does not find it scary. Observe this screenshot:
My daughter: “The owl is his friend!”
Me: “HOW AND WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?”
It is, however, very very beautiful, and you can watch it on YouTube (it’s only 10 minutes long) OR buy a translation in book form, which Mallory’s sister did for me a few years ago!
Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
A 100% accurate description of my weekend, in gif format:
How was yours?
the 1776 gif!!!!!
If my life was nothing but 1776 gifs I would be happy.
Our historic baseball stadium burned down to the ground (no deaths, no injuries, thank goodness) and we had a 4.2 quake as well as record-breaking temperatures. Other than that, awesome! 5-2! (We won’t talk about that own goal.)
It was the Burgomaster’s birthday on the 4th, and I had agreed to watch the entire extended cuts of all three LOTR movies with him, along with many many special feature clips. It was fun, but man I feel like a bloated slug. Also I am way behind on everything because 15+ hours on the couch over the course of two days is actually really exhausting.
Saving that 1776 gif, thanks!
The amount of 1776 gifs on my computer is embarrassing. Especially how many of them are just of Lee being enthusiastic. I want it to be my reaction to everything.
Add a couple more gifs at the beginning where I drink way more Miller High Life than I had any reason to think was a good idea and then one at the end where I wake up the next morning and rue the very fact that I exist, and you’ve about got it.
It’s the champagne of beers!!!
I actually did watch 1776! Then four hours of the HBO John Adams. Friends, I think I am historied out, especially in re: rich white dudes complaining.
I’m named after Abigail Adams. At this point I think I’m contractually obligated to watch 1776 Every Single July 4. (Saw it in a theater this time. There was emotional resonance. People were crying. I had to bite my tongue during Lee’s entire song so I didn’t screech along. etc.)
But John Adams must be taken in smaller doses.
Rode nearly a hundred miles over two days, in the best weather we’ve had on the weekend here for some time. I am happy.
But did you bring back a vote in favor of independency?
…damnit, even if I bother to make a shopping list, there’s always that one crucial thing that I forget to pick up…
A friend of mine will be teaching at the private school Suri Cruise attends this fall. During his interview process, he was asked in hushed tones, “Did you know that Suri Cruise goes here?” Apparently they were impressed enough with his “Um, yeah” that he was the right one for the job.
Actually crying after watching the husky lick the teensy kitty, so I guess THAT’s how this week is going to be.
AND NOW SHE’S HEALTHY AND STRONG AND GOES FOR WALKS ON A LEASH
THERE’S A VIDEO OF HER HAPPILY RIDING IN THE CAR, PANTING LIKE THE OTHER HUSKIES. (on her instagram page)
Will never not love a small animal thinking it’s another kind of animal.
Also: I wish I could believe the Tom Cruise thing, but I’m skeptical. Plus, reading your tweets yesterday made me angry for the sake of Nicole (Kidman) all over again.
See also: different kinds of animals being friends.
http://fuckyeahinterspeciesfriendships.tumblr.com… <3
I get so angry about Nicole Kidman every time his past relationships come up. I mean, she’s obviously very happy now, but he has put her (and continues to put her) through so much hell because of that terrible cult and it is just so ridiculous and sad.
My brother introduced me to Hedgehog in the Fog! She would probably like Czech animation from the similar time period, called The Little Mole, or Krtek. There’s no speaking, just music and little animal noises. The doctor’s office in Finland used to play them when we lived there, and my little brothers LOVED THEM, because they could understand what was happening perfectly. 🙂 Really showed us the value of something that can be truly international.
I wish I could find them on Youtube, or *somewhere* (we own the PAL videotapes, YEAH) but no real luck yet.
THE LITTLE MOLE!! I love him.
Here are some links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QqKvfeOGXI&l… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms8f9dBIvns&list=PLQswLFkag4dp6Ccgsm_b-i–U8Q73DdDy. (Haven’t watched them yet as I’m in the library and don’t have my headphones with me, but the links should be alright.)
you have MADE my week, thank you sooooo much. 😀 (I knew they must have been under some Czech name that I wouldn’t know.)
Little mole is the best!
My friend who lives in Germany brought my son a little mole doll. I have been meaning to find the show to watch somehow. He told me it was really communist?
Hmm. Well it has lessons about sharing and there’s a few cartoons where the Krtek tangles with factories and machines, and he doesn’t like them (like a typical animated woodland creature.) I’m sure there was a subversive element to them when they were made, decades ago, but today it doesn’t seem like anything more than your typical Disney movie. At least, to me that’s how it seemed.
Hearing misandrist shapenote singing on the toast is EXACTLY what I needed today. God that was perfect.
WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. I AM READY. We re-watched the movie this weekend in preparation and spent about 75% of the film voicing our astonishment that that was Bradley Cooper. Seriously, Bradley Cooper. How is that possible?
Magic Mike XXL stole my weekend.
I’ll be in my bunk, possibly forever.
I’m going with a friend next weekend and I cannot wait! We’ve already made plans to smuggle in some pink wine. This is going to be a looooong week.
I went this weekend! As someone else mentioned: between Mad Max and Magic Mike (which I cannot keep distinct when speaking) this has been a great summer for women and movies.
also, I may be screaming this into my grave, but IT WAS WELL WRITTEN *falls into void*
I saw Spy this weekend because Magic Mike wasn’t at the theater close to me, and it is also strong evidence for this being one of the best summers for women & movies in recent history.
That movie was delightful.
Good: the terrible, no-good public service pay centre finally paid me the arrears pay I was owed for my salary increase which they processed several months too late.
Bad: it looks like they gave me twice the arrears pay I was entitled to and I can’t get anyone on the line to verify whether the amount is correct. So I have this chunk of money in my account that I can’t touch in case I have to pay some of it back.
At the risk of sounding churlish, this part of the article I linked to above is what surprised me the most: Most of the employees were hired with no experience and put through an 18-month training program. Some argued the training isn’t enough… I have spoken to many, many pay centre employees and virtually all of them were operating at such a blistering level of incompetence that it’s hard to believe they even got a week’s worth of training, never mind 18 months. I can’t fathom how you can be in training for a year and a half and still be so bad at your job. I don’t blame them for the backlog of files they have to deal with, but every single thing payroll-related process I had to go through, they messed up – I once went 11 weeks without being paid, they somehow lost one of my job offer letters, they fucked up my pay increase, etc. It’s to the point where it feels like it would take more effort to consistently fail than it would be to finally do one thing right.
This has been A Rant, thinly veiled as a contribution to the link roundup. You may carry on with your day.
YOU WENT 11 WEEKS WITHOUT BEING PAID?!?!? I would have stopped working most likely.
I was fortunate to have a spouse with a stable, well-paying job, but yeah… I remember one time I was on the phone with a supervisor at the pay centre and I said, “By this point I haven’t been paid in 2 months. What if I get evicted because I can’t pay my rent because you messed up my pay? Would I get any compensation? What about if I get my power or my phone cut off for non-payment?” and the guy just made non-committal mouth noises at me and muttered something about how I could have my manager request an emergency salary advance for me.
Then they finally paid me the whole amount at once, except with an enormous chunk taken out for taxes because they calculated that the huge amount of money was my regular biweekly salary >_______> I got it back when I filed my taxes, but still.
And I thought the OPS was bad for pay and benefits stuff! (it is bad, quite bad, but apparently not as bad as the feds. That’s all ludicrous.)
If they couldn’t manage to actually pay you your wages, why would they be able to handle an emergency salary advance?
That was exactly my reasoning for not requesting one. They were already so terribly confused by the process of paying me my regular salary, I didn’t want to make the situation worse by throwing in a request for an emergency advance.
As if the situation isn’t laughable enough, a comment on that article about Miramichi noted that Phoenix Payment Systems – the company that sold GC the new software they plan to implement in December – filed for bankruptcy nearly a year ago http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-08-04…
As a fellow GC employee, I’m cry-laughing.
It’s funny how public servants get so much hate from the general population due to the perception that we have it made with our high salaries and our benefits and our pensions, when half the time we can’t even manage to get paid for our work.
What do you wanna bet the 18 months of training was just 18 months of being paid a lower “trainee” wage.
That definitely makes more sense than the suggestion that they spent 18 months learning how to do their jobs, since it’s quite clear they don’t know how to do their jobs.
11 WEEKS WITHOUT PAY?! Holy shit, that is beyond ridiculous.
Reading the link, I cannot understand why on Earth they didn’t set up the new pay system first, then start transferring files. I would think they could have put them directly into the new system as they got them, but instead it sounds like they’re going to do two rounds of file processing, first now as they get them and then again next year when they put them in the new system.
Also: “He said the government built its staff estimates of 550 on assumptions about the time and steps Phoenix could save.”
If this is so, what made them think that 550 staff could handle everything before they set up Phoenix? That is obviously an incredibly dumb assumption.
And then I looked up other stuff about the pay centre, and got to the stories about when they announced it and Harper was promoting it as great because it would create 550 jobs, while failing to mention the 1,700 jobs that the article you linked said it got rid of. Ass.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this dumbassery.
My previously manageable crush on Meghan Rapinoe is a behemoth now, thanks soccer.
Hedgehog begins to have a conversation with himself about what his friends would say only 2 mins in. He’s probably my spirit animal.
I am struggling with an If Abby Wambach Were My Girlfriend situation, myself. I feel you.
God, me too. (Realistically: If Abby Wambach Were My Girlfriend, she would drive me 100% up a wall, I am not cut out for a relationship with anyone that intense. So it’s just as well that “long-term relationship” is… not exactly what I’m wishing for here.)
But UNrealistically, If Abby Wambach Were Your Girlfriend she would NOT be too intense for you, and it would all work out perfectly.
*drifts into reverie, writes workday off as a loss*
This went all of the best places.
I am right there with you on the Pinoe love. Adorable goofball soccer goddess is apparently a thing for me. Who knew?
“adorable goofball soccer goddess” yes, yes and yes. That’s perfectly it.
The University of Arizona College of Medicine, for example, banned abortions at its facilities in the 1970s (except those performed to save the life of the mother) as part of an agreement with the state legislature that authorized $5.5 million to renovate the university’s football stadium.
brb, have to go scream into a pillow for a day or two.
Question for medical toasties: Isn’t abortion something that is sometimes necessary for medical reasons? Shouldn’t ob/gyns have to know how to perform it, even if they don’t plan on being regular abortion providers?
but if you did that the chuuuurch/schooooool/goooooovernment would give moneeeeeeeeeey to killing baaaaaaaaaaaabieeeeeeeees and You Just Can’t Do That.
So…they need all those babies to fill the football stadium then?
FOR FUCKS SAKE U OF A WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO FAIL ME
I can spend several hours complaining about the U of A’s spending practices but this really takes the cake. On a site note, the U of A allows a pro-life group to take over the mall with their giant two-story displays of graphic “abortion” pictures every spring or so, and plus we have lots of weird uber-conservative religious protesters that are allowed to have big signs and megaphones that stand in very congested areas yelling nsfw things at people… so basically I don’t think much else has changed.
I loved the geology, astronomy, and theater departments at U of A, but honestly if the rest of the college got eaten by a giant primordial anglerfish or something, I’d be pretty ok with that.
(Also there’s no ‘sign into IntenseDebate’ login button for me today, not sure why. I’m using Firefox.)
My mom had to have what was technically an abortion when I was 6. She miscarried, and there was severe hemorrhaging, so they had to do a D&C. If she’d had to go home after the miscarriage started to think about the consequences of abortion or whatever, or if there hadn’t been anybody trained in how to perform an abortion, she could have died, and would at the very least have been in serious physical danger.
I just learned this last September, btw.
Strikes me also that some knowledge of how women botch their desperate home-made abortions in back alleys could be clinically useful, so that the medical profession can learn to stitch them all back up again in increasing numbers in the near future.
Your first question: yes. And to your second, nope, not when they can just watch women suffer and die in the name of piety and conscience clauses, they don’t.
Yes, abortion is sometimes necessary for medical reasons. Pretty much every ob/gyn will learn how to do the D&C procedure (which is used for first trimester abortions) regardless, though some will choose not to provide “elective” abortions. They can still learn the procedure because the same one is used for people that miscarry but whose pregnancy stays in the uterus, or for people who have placenta left behind after delivering a baby, or in order to get a sample of the lining of the uterus for various reasons.
A note- the article kind of mixes up med students with residents. Not al med students will see abortion procedures but every OB/GYN resident will learn how to do a D&C.
Signed,
Your Friendly Neighborhood OB/GYN Intern
Thanks! That is actually quite reassuring, although so much else about abortion access remains a garbage nightmare.
I was sitting at my computer and applauding at your Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman/Katie Holmes tweets yesterday. BRAVA.
YOU GUYS I saw “Secretary” for the first time this weekend and I need to talk about it. I can’t believe “50 Shades” dares to exist in the same universe.
You come sit right here by me then. That movie is in my blindspot; I refuse to hear anything problematic about it. It is personal and special and unnnghhff, Spader.
That is exactly how I feel about it! I personally love Secretary. Still, like you say, t’s one of those films, where, if I really thought about it, I might not like it as much. Undergrad destroyed so many previously beloved movies for me, and that was ultimately, a very good thing. But sometimes, I just want to tune it all out and enjoy a movie.
it me: http://www.theonion.com/article/woman-takes-short…
I’m here to be on team “Really didn’t like Secretary and felt super sketched out by the consent issues in it, and no this is not an objection to BDSM as a whole, thankyouverymuch”.
Although, honestly, I watched it long enough ago that I will probably not be a very good conversationalist about it. Also I haven’t seen/read 50 Shades, although I have read chunks of Pervocracy’s chapter-by-chapter.
Okay, fine, I’m mostly just here to see what other people are saying.
My Issues: She obviously goes to great lengths to prove her love for him; does he do the same? Yeah, he “rescues” her, but it’s from himself. And he opens up to her, but so what? And the way she rejects the boyfriend, who she knows also had a breakdown, is just cruel. Finally, it’s disturbing that her happy ending = being his kept woman, with no job and isolated from her family. Or is that supposed to be the point, subverting the “abusive spouse” trope? It’s possible I’m overthinking this.
But do we know for a fact that she’s isolated from her family? She doesn’t live with them anymore, obviously, but I don’t recall anything suggesting that they’re no longer in contact.
I just inferred it from the fact that they didn’t invite anyone to their wedding.
The whole “I am going to cure your mental health problems/proclivity for self-injury with love and spankings” thing in Secretary was… yeah. But I love that movie. Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character makes it pretty clear that’s the kind of relationship she wants and it has a happy ending! Also. It’s just really hot.
One of the things I do LOVE about Secretary is that it’s messy as hell. Yeah, the first time he spanks her is in an iffy-at-best situation. But when she realizes that she loves it and needs it, she’s pretty forward about making sure she gets it. The leads are both fucked-up people, and they realize they can find this thing they both want and need in each other and be happy.
I also have major heart-eyes over the fact that there are two–TWO!!–scenes of her masturbating, and neither time is it played for laughs or to demean her.
I am also on team “no one can say anything bad about that movie.” It is the only romance movie that I love and relate to.
I wanted to like Secretary I really did, buuuutt; She essentially gets over her mental illness and self harm because he tells her to. Last time I checked that is not how it works.
That’s a very fair criticism, althoughI’d say that’s a problem with any romantic comedy. They sell this idea that all of your problems will be solved when you find YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE. At the end of the day, they’re just modern day fairy tales.
I get you. I guess part of it came from personal experience where stopping was a lot harder than just being told to stop, but also the film built it up as a big part of her life/personality; ‘She’s mentally ill and she self harms and this man is going to fix her’, and in the end ‘fixing her’ was just ordering her to stop and she did and it was never mentioned again.
I also had issues with how clean her body was, I get that they want her to look pretty, but someone who has been institutionalized over self harm is not going to have lovely clean arms and legs.
If you’re going to use it as a plot device, at least use it somewhat realistically
Oh yeah, I totally agree with you on all counts re: realism. I just think that while it was a really strange and subversive film in some ways, it was a really traditional romantic comedy in others. Did you see Silver Linings Playbook? A very different movie, but I think it’s similar in that it’s a romantic comedy (dramedy perhaps?) that features the love conquers serious personal demons trope. I enjoyed both films (though Secretary holds a fond place in my heart), but both were way too easy in a sense.
Heh, I thought it was all the dancing in SLP that cured the mental illnesses.
I enjoyed that movie, too, but it is still a lovely fantasy. I don’t think it’s wrong to want a lovely fantasy sometimes, it’s just…the stories we tell ourselves are not necessarily representative of of lives. (Or the stories represent the our lives, but only in the inverse, the longing for what does not exist. I digress.) I’ll confess I still love Pretty Woman, and I *know* sex work doesn’t happen like that. SLP and Secretary live in the Pretty Woman realm of entertainment, for me.
I think you’re pretty much describing my entire trepidation about seeing this movie, despite the sheer number of people who’ve told me how good they think it is. I’m kinda glad that I got bored one day and read the Wikipedia plot summary out of mild curiosity, because then I went, “Oh. Oh, okay. That’s there, in the plot.”
So, on the one hand, if I ever see it, at least I know that going in. On the other hand, it makes me less likely to want to see it. (But it had originally been pitched to me by people as a fun, sweet, sexy romantic movie about a BDSM couple, so chances are, I would have ended up watching it when I was looking for some vapid fluff to cheer me up/distract me from being in a bad headspace or something, so that could have . . . backfired spectacularly.)
I guess I don’t necessarily have an issue with movies that deal with self-injury; I just have an issue with movies I’m not sure will deal with it in a way that feels correct/real/accurate. Which might be most movies that touch on that? I can’t think of one that did a good job that I’ve actually seen, anyway.
Also: “stopping was a lot harder than just being told to stop”
Yes. That.
I first saw it with a friend who had problems with self-injury. (She’d already seen it.) She told me it was a really accurate portrayal of it–up until the point where she stops because he told her to.
The first time I went to the boyfriend’s apartment, I noticed how he had small movie posters all over his apartment….and one of them was the Japanese poster for Secretary, and I knew we would get along Just Fine.
Secretary it is my go-to Shmoopy Cheesy Romantic I Need Some FEELS Movie ™. we actually watched it again this past weekend and i criiiiiiied at the end where she puts all the pillows on the bed just so. my Owner hugged me close and patted me on the head and He didn’t even say anything about the snot on the sleeve of His robe <3
That New Age piece is really something. A lot of it is familiar to me– you don’t become a vegetarian/yogi/climber without running into some of that stuff– and I have a lot of conflicting feelings on it. Because on one hand, I don’t want to criticize or restrict anyone’s spiritual beliefs, but on the other hand, it’s a lot of white people appropriating cultures for their own profit. On the first hand again, I believe in bodily autonomy, but on the second, taking advantage of people’s fear and credulity when life-threatening and serious illness is on the line is the worst thing you can do, no matter how strongly you believe you’re helping them.
I have a strong aversion to woo (even quit yoga over it – I was willing to let some of it go, but once she starting on the “male” nostril and the “female” nostril I bailed), so these articles are absolutely fascinating to me. I understand wanting a more holistic approach than is currently offered by evidence-based medicine, but some (most?) of the providers she talks about are exploitative and ultimately responsible for people not getting the help they need.
Yeah, I love yoga–great exercise/injury prevention and so relaxing–but I do go to it at a climbing gym rather than a yoga studio, which means I’m spared a lot of the talk.
And yes yes yes, I entirely understand wanting a more holistic approach if it makes you personally feel better, like if it gives you an emotional boost during a hard time. I get that! And I think it can help! But when she says “I would not credit Western medicine alone” for healing her pathogenic disease it perpetuates the exploitation, in my opinion.
Yes -she simultaneously recognises that she nearly died, that it was only the antibiotics that saved her, and that many of the new age treatment providers were actively lying to her, but still can’t stop singing the praises of the new age life and of those practitioners who were smiling while they lied to her?
I thought I heard a lot of criticism in the author’s voice. Maybe that was just my head voice talking over the narrator.
I am also very curious about this “definitive” test for Lyme. Wasn’t aware we had a definitive test yet.
Yep–I love the exercise aspect of yoga, and can get behind some of the spiritual aspect, but not the “this pose wrings out your toxins!” part.
I had to look up the male and female nostril thing, because I had to. It turns out that it’s my male (right) nostril that’s chronically congested. Ban male nostrils!
#notallmalenostrils
Word. I read a piece once where I woman had a seizure during a yoga session, and her teacher did nothing except yell “KUNDALINI RISING!” at her while she seized, and it turned out that the woman had a brain tumour.
I mean, jeez, yeah, Kundalini Rising, I get it, but also, brain tumour. Or Lyme disease. Or whatever ails you.
I’ve been exposed to some of the new age madness through my mother (i.e. telling mentally ill people that they should spend all their money on magic ‘energy’ wands, instead of telling them to stop and get actual help), but I am also skeptical of western medicine in a lot of ways. I just try to make the right decisions for myself, which means taking antibiotics and other drugs when needed, but also being aware that these are strong drugs and you need to watch your nutrition and general health after taking them, and do as much preventative stuff to avoid needing them. I do wish doctors would be more honest and upfront about possible side effects from things like antibiotics, painkillers and vaccines (No, I don’t mean autism. I mean severe reactions and infections).
I also wish doctors would be more holistic in their approach, and look into all the possible causes for an illness, not just treat the symptom. Two years ago I started having awful arm pain and weird heart beats (not quite arrhythmia, but it felt awful), as well as panic attacks, and the doctors basically concluded it was stress and I should stop being stressed. Yes it was in part caused by stress, but I was also having physical symptoms, which was causing stress, and it would have been nice for someone to acknowledge that. It took an amazing acupuncturist to help me out, he was not at all woo-woo and gave me a lot of useful life tips to help me reduce stress (which my actual therapist couldn’t be arsed doing). Similarly, I pinched a nerve in my back a few years ago, could barely walk, doctor gave me painkillers (which made me ill) and told me to have better posture, a chiropractor told me I have an unbalanced pelvis which was pinching the nerve.
So yeah, I think you need to be smart and make your own decisions, and watch out for the predatory woo-woo people, who tend to pray on desperate and ill people, which is unfortunate. You also need to not just swallow someones theory whole, which is what a lot of new-age/alternative people preach, ‘just listen to me, never listen to anyone else, they are evil’. But in the same vein you also need to be your own advocate with doctors, which is really hard when you’re sick, cause they will either give up if they can’t find an easy solution, or just start giving you drugs or taking bits out of you.
I want to give you a million thumbs up for saying exactly this: know your body, do your research, and don’t put all your eggs in the doctor’s OR THE WOO-WOO basket.
You’re horsey right? Have you also found that equine vets are much more open minded than medical doctors? Most vets I’ve met will train in almost any (or all) disciplines, have an attitude of ‘fuck it, it works, lets use it!’ and have a much more holistic approach to treating illnesses.
If a vet can understand that emotional stress can cause physical illness in an animal, why can’t human doctor?
(I have totally never asked my vet or equine chiro for health advice. Never. nope.)
OMG, YES! My vet was awesome (she’s moving to another province to put her younger, hot-ass assistant boyfriend through vet university, she’s my hero) who holds a no-nonsense approach to various equine maladies and maintenance. In her book, if it works, be it unpasteurized honey on open wounds for example, then go for it but here’s some antibiotics and or pain killers to help with the healing process. Imma gonna miss that lady, hand’s down!
(What gets her are the folks who sell really expensive probiotic feed/supplement to owners whose horses have “diagnosed” ulcers (diagnosed in the sense where the feed seller pokes your horse in the cinch/flank and when the horse reacts, that horse has ulcers FOR SURE NO QUESTION) and their ilk. Basically, people who prey on an owner’s insecurities and/or ignorance.)
Sent from my iPad
Uggh Ulcers. I didn’t know what they were for years (apparently they are not as much of a thing in Europe, or maybe we just can’t be arsed with them prissy horses.) and then when I found out what they I was like ‘So that’s whats wrong with my TB!’ and a whole bunch of other horses I knew, it just never occurred to us to check for that tbh.
But then I saw how much it costs to treat, even the actual medical stuff, £80 a tube! Sorry horse, you’re going to have to make due with beetpulp and alfalfa.
It is infuriating how much shite people will be tricked into buying, the ‘Natural Horsemanship’ people are the absolute worst for it, they do exactly the same thing that the woo-woo healers, prey on peoples fears and insecurities in order to make money.
‘Oh you’re scared to ride your horse? No problem join my program and you never have to ride again, but you do need to by these fancy bits of rope and this stick that cost £100, and pay me £1000 a week for the privilege of working in my yard.’
But then again, I insist that my horse NEEDS £80 showjumping boots and I must have real sheepskin half pads that cost £60 a pop, so we’re all a bit mad really.
Ooh, “liberty work”…if you belong to a circus, put a plume on that horse’s head and go for it. But if you can’t ride your horse then (a) get a RIDING coach or (b) sell your horse and buy one you CAN ride. However, that said, I recently lost my confidence with my wee guy (bolted on me 2x, but I did manage to stay afloat) and I’m struggling with my abilities as an older re-rider. I haven’t been riding for weeks now, and I miss it.
Sent from my iPad
USA!!! I am so proud of the team. All of the teams, really. As my fanaticism of the women’s team has increased so has my anger about all of the issues and difficulties facing women who play sports, and thankfully there was lots of great commentary that celebrated the teams but called out the sexism. In particular I found this blog with hilarious takedowns of FIFA: http://thesportspectacle.com/ by Jennifer Doyle and a lovely article on the history of the England women’s team here: http://www.si.com/planet-futbol/2015/06/30/englan… by Jean Williams.
Ah, I love the epic side-eye Alex Morgan is giving in the pic from the first article you linked.
Jennifer Doyle has been doing great work for years!! I used to read her old blog, From A Left Wing, pretty religiously, but I somehow missed the transition to The Sport Spectacle until I found her twitter (which is @fromaleftwing). Anyways, point is, she’s great. That poem about how much she hates FIFA fills my heart with joy.
THE I HATE FIFA POEM FILLS MY HEART WITH JOY
also what infuriates me in the 2nd article is how for so long women were actively discouraged and even banned from playing. It’s not like we spent decades on the sidelines and then somehow ’70s feminism gave us the idea to start playing- women have always played, and they were successful, but then the English FA banned the women’s game for 50 years! Then they weren’t ~allowed to be professionals, which means of course the quality of the game would suffer. The Japanese FA took a similar view and discouraged corporate sponsors from supporting the women! The use of artificial turf in this tournament is a subtler tactic but the message is exactly the same- the men’s game has to mean more; they can’t let the women be more successful than the men.
Re: FIFA – I don’t know if this showed up on tv screens, but I was at the game yesterday, and right before the awards ceremony when all the FIFA officials came out, the whole crowd boo-ed and the camera zoomed in on Hope and Abby. Hope very clearly leaned over to Abby and said “We probably shouldn’t laugh…” and Abby covered her face. It was amazing.
Thought you guys would enjoy this excellent response from a linguist to all those “women need to stop saying just!” articles https://debuk.wordpress.com/2015/07/05/just-dont-…
I want to marry that article. Everything I found wrong with the just article has been articulated.
Thank you! I felt uneasy about that “just” piece and now I know why.
Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd yes. there’s a whole chapter in Tara Mohr’s “playing big” relating to policing your own language in this way, both spoken & in e-mail, & I couldn’t even and couldn’t figure out why. Like I’m sorry but I’m not going to just stop saying I think? Etc.
Yes and no. I think there is a lot to be said about not telling women to act like men in order to succeed; but I think its important for everyone to be able to speak clearly and confidently, and it does get you further!
I don’t mean being loud and imposing, but ‘uptalk’ does make you sound unsure of what you’re saying. It applies to men too though, I doubt anyone would take a ‘surfer guy’ very seriously either.
‘Duuude, like, um can I ask you for, like something?’
vs
‘Umm, hi, hey, ehh can I ask you for like just something small?’
vs
‘Hey, I need your help’
I agree with your basic premise, but that’s not really what’s being discussed in articles such as the “just” one. Women aren’t being “dinged” because people can’t understand them. If people couldn’t understand them, presumably they wouldn’t be in the positions they are in.
For example, in the original article, both a man and a woman give their pitches in front of a group of people. The group then counted the number of “justs” used by each person. There was no discussion whatsoever about the force of the pitch or which person was easier to understand. Instead, the woman used “just” more often than the man did and so the author drew the conclusion that the woman must be wrong.
This is not a clear-headed discussion of “clear” and “confident” language. Instead, this is a sexist interpretation of different ways of speaking where the man’s way must be right and so the woman’s way is measured against it.
This is older but the “just” article also made me think about Lindsay King-Miller’s piece on the Hairpin about “stop hitting yourself feminism”http://thehairpin.com/2014/08/apologia/
“I’ve taken to calling this kind of rhetoric “stop-hitting-yourself feminism.” It presumes that all the oppression women face is perpetuated solely by ourselves, and that if every woman (individually, not collectively) just decided to be confident and powerful, patriarchy and its effects would vanish overnight. In this worldview, the only reason any woman experiences sexism is that she simply hasn’t made the choice to shake it off.”
Oh my god yes. “If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to respect you” posts on FB (it’s always FB) just make me want to scream. Other people’s respect for me as a human being should not be dependent on my current psychological and emotional state.
“stop hitting yourself feminism”
Oh, my goodness. There’s a name for it. I have just been referring to it as “arguments that make my forehead veins pulse,” but King-Miller’s phrasing is both more succinct and specific.
Borrowing this FOREVER. (Or at least until the matriarchy.)
One of my favorite things about dogs is how happy they look about being dogs, and huskies seem the MOST happy. So obviously I loved that husky-kitten thing.
A friend and I went to the late show Saturday at a serves-booze theatre, and it was packed with women who laughed in sheer delight the entire time while getting their drink on. There was an audible sigh when Charming Tater first appeared and literal whoops when “Pony” started up. It was, um, a good time.
This movie is the perfect bookend to Mad Max: Fury Road – it treated women as people entirely deserving of respect and admiration, and treated female desire exactly the same way, with no distinction made based on age, size, or colour.
(overheard from a group of women behind me leaving: “I didn’t know I had so many hormones!”)
(Magic Mike: “My God is a She”)
ETA this is in response to Es_Petal, obv
I just bought the book Hedgehog in the Fog for my nephew. I’ve been mildly obsessed with the movie since my first year Russian professor showed it when I was in college. So now I am attempting to indoctrinate my nieces and nephews into the wonderful world of Soviet animation.
Teach them some anekdoty about Hedgehog and his friends. Most of them are just right for kids.
My dog was raised by cats, which makes him sleep 20 hours a day and lick himself in un-doggy postures, so basically the opposite of husky-kitten but still cute.
Mine too. (Though the raised by cats theory is still just a theory in my scooped up off the side of the road dog’s case.)
It makes for a great apartment hound. Sometimes I don’t even know she’s there.
Magic Mike Fury Road: the Kings of Tampa go on a postapocalyptic road trip, bringing down the patriarchy with their fine male entertainer moves. Soundtrack provided by the Doof Warrior.
ETA OMG COMMENTS Y U HATE ME, this is in response to sausagedog.
Someone get a kickstarter going!!
I’d watch the hell out of this!
Tryingto respond to Aqueous. 1000% would watch Magic Mike Fury Road!!!!!
Hedgehog In The Fog just confirmed what I suspected all along: 1970’s Russian and Czech animation is gloriously, surrealistically, darkly amazing.
PS. Our cable provider just added an NFB (National Film Board of Canada) channel and I’ve been rolling in NFB animation like an escatic dog in a rotted smell-hole.
ETA: today’s Link Roundup has been superb in chosen articles; saving reading all of them for later tonight!
I don’t dare go into that NFB channel, I’ll never get out.
Do we believe the Series of Unfortunate Events trailer is legit?
http://mashable.com/2015/07/06/series-of-unfortun…
I want to believe.
I watched the soccer game and enjoyed the hell out of it, but my enthusiasm is somewhat dampened after reading this explanation of how absolutely bananas the pay gap is between the US men’s team and the women’s (who are, also, a MUCH better team).
“In aggregate, first division women’s soccer players are making 98.6 percent less than professional soccer’s male cohort,” according to Fusion, making it one of the starkest gender pay divides in any workplace.
Ohhhh, FUCK THAT. There HAS to be something done about that after they’ve just WON THE WORLD CUP.
Yes! That was an infuriating read to go with my morning coffee.
Jesus fucking Christ, that’s ridiculous.
Pretty infuriated in the UK too after this headline`;
“England ‘can go back to being mothers, partners and daughters,’ says FA tweet”
http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jul/06/e…
The author of the tweet insists that he would use the same language about the men’s team but… funny I’ve never seen ANYTHING LIKE IT.
Alternately, FA they can continue to be world-class athletes who just competed on the global stage, but are now taking some time to ice their shins.
(Apologies if this has been posted in another thread; if so, let me know!)
Friend of The Toast (and, ok, brilliant writer and one of the world’s foremost intellectuals) Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote a new piece for The Atlantic entitled Letter to My Son. Its about a 30 min read and, to state the obvious, well worth your time.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/…
That was so devastating and beautiful. Why haven’t they given TNC a Pulitzer yet?
why is he still writing for the magazine whose other contributors are luminaries like David Frum and Conor Friedersdorf
I guess at least he gets distribution while still being able to write about seemingly whatever interests him
Completely agreed! I think whats happening is that we are yet again being drawn into discussions in extremes, of men vs women and how women should behave in order to be respected by men, which is all bullshit!
So instead of discussions about how everyone should learn a clear confident speaking voice so that we all understand eachother, we get articles about what women are doing wrong, and how they should behave around men, and all we do is look at what women are wearing or how they are talking instead of what they say.
But the counter argument could be valid also, some women are taught to be apologetic and not demanding, so when they need to make requests or give orders in a work situation, they try to minimize or apologies. I think I missed most of that class during lady school, since I tend to just jump in and start giving instructions or making requests, but I got enough of it that afterwards (when the over-confident monster has gone away) I do tend to think ‘Was I too demanding?’ ‘Did I talk to much?’ . I haven’t had any complaints so far, in fact it seems to be working for me, but the doubt and anxiety is still there.
I guess my point is that these are valid things to discuss, but we need to avoid falling into constant think-pieces about male behaviour vs female behaviour and what women must to in order to fit in with men, which I think was partly the authors point as well
ETA: this is in response to emlorark above, about the just thing. *sigh*
I’ll believe that Cruise is leaving Scientology after he comes out.
Also, yeah, not a big fan of the woo. I know people who have been hurt by it who had the option of using conventional medicine, but chose not to.
Yes, abortion is sometimes necessary for medical reasons. Pretty much every ob/gyn will learn how to do the D&C procedure (which is used for first trimester abortions) regardless, though some will choose not to provide "elective" abortions. They can still learn the procedure because the same one is used for people that miscarry but whose pregnancy stays in the uterus, or for people who have placenta left behind after delivering a baby, or in order to get a sample of the lining of the uterus for various reasons.
A note- the article kind of mixes up med students with residents. Not al med students will see abortion procedures but every OB/GYN resident will learn how to do a D&C.
Signed,
Your Friendly Neighborhood OB/GYN Intern
Thanks! That is actually quite reassuring, although so much else about abortion access remains a garbage nightmare.
YESSS indoctrination into Russianness GOOOD YES
Maybe some Bremenskiye Muzykanty next? Or, ooh, The Three From Prostokvashino! I know it’s out there with subtitles, though they may very well be terrible.
…damnit, even if I bother to make a shopping list, there's always that one crucial thing that I forget to pick up…
This essay is incredible. I actually stopped breathing for a while.
Hearing misandrist shapenote singing on the toast is EXACTLY what I needed today. God that was perfect.
Hearing misandrist shapenote singing on the toast is EXACTLY what I needed today. God that was perfect.