“Theirs was a love the world thought was…adorable.”
Yeah, Carly Rae Jepsen is great:
Jepsen’s latest album, E•MO•TION, was released to near-universal critical acclaim and near-disastrous commercial sales. At last count, the album had sold only 16,000 copies, disappointing by any measure — but the crowd, adults and teens alike, felt like it was made up of every single one of those album-buyers. When the sound of a saxophone signaled the beginning of “Run Away With Me,” the album’s opening track, we all lost it (Jepsen is the best thing to happen to saxophones since Lisa Simpson) — and the energy level stayed at a nearly uninterrupted pitch of attuned devotion. It wasn’t the kind of hyperfan urgency you might find at, say, a Justin Bieber stadium show. There was no screaming, no fainting. Just pure joy and reverence as Jepsen appeared before us like a beautiful sprite in her blunt Joan Jett–style haircut, white blazer, distressed muscle T, and leather leggings. Her look could be described as pulled from the rack labeled “glamour grunge” at the JCPenney Juniors department, and I mean this in the best way possible.
This is the piece everyone is talking about on Twitter, so I feel it would be wrong not to include it here (it gets more bananas as it goes on, it cannot be easily categorized, I am glad to have lived long enough to read it, I denounce it, I celebrate it):
Before I could sit in front of her in Paris I had to find a publication that could ship my pathetic ass across the pond. The bores at New York Magazine said no because I would not be able to get her to say anything interesting. The New York Observer cried poverty at even the tiny budget I proposed. David Remnick at the New Yorker very politely took the time to cut and paste an old profile that his magazine ran ten years ago and to tell me that they never repeat a profile except when it’s a puff piece on Hillary. Although Judith Thurman’s “The Misfit” from 2005 is the smartest one written so far on Ms. Kawakubo the piece was academic, bizarrely self-absorbed and often wrong. Very Reader’s Digest meets GQ, like what the entire New Yorker unfortunately became. CDG hated it because Ms. Thurman committed the crime of lèse-majesté when she said that Adrian Joffe was afraid of his wife. I observed them interacting, he is. Mr. Remnick is nice but he’s no William Shawn, as his past reporting on Russia can attest. They were treasure troves of platitudes and predictions that all turned out to be wrong. I realized Anna Wintour had never invited Rei, the goddess of fashion, worshipped by every single designer from Karl Lagerfeld to Marc Jacobs and Alexander Wang, to her insufferable annual ball at the Met. Had Rei refused the yearly extortion of ad buying in Anna’s September issue too many falls in a row? So Vogue was out, which left us with Robbie Meyers at ELLE.
I attended the twelfth annual Mothman Festival last year, on its final day, a rainy Sunday after the crowd of thousands had dwindled to a scattered hundred or so. The Saturday of the festival is normally the single biggest moneymaking day of the year for Point Pleasant: Bigger than Christmas, it’s the only weekend the historic Lowe Hotel is full, along with hotels in Gallipolis and nearby Hurricane and Ripley. But there was plenty of parking on the street when I visited, and several blocks of abandoned stores to walk past before seeing any people at all. “Closed” or “for rent” signs had been propped in windows, dark and coated in dust. A Mothman roamed around the street in giant wings and a bug-eyed headpiece which obscured his sight; he was accompanied by a teenage boy who kept steering him away from passersby.
The old movie theatre looked abandoned from the outside, but the door was held open by a brick. I passed through the lobby, where a framed picture of a beauty queen hung on the wall, the Pepsi-sponsored snack bar had been abandoned, and the red shag carpeting puffed up dust. Someone was speaking quietly in the auditorium. I entered, stood at the back. A dozen people filled the seats, mostly at the front. A man paced on the stage. He looked large, his arms as strong as the Mothman statue. He spoke confidently about Dog-Man, a creature I had never heard of, but there was a blurry slide of a furred thing. The man—a cryptozoologist—told the crowd that Dog-Man must be a carnivore because “an animal that size is gonna need meat.” Nobody laughed at the Dog Man talk. Nobody made fun. Audience members took notes; I took notes. I left before the house lights came on and the questions began. Some of the other lectures that weekend included such topics as Big Foot, “Murder Victim Ghosts,” and “Mothmen Abroad.”
The great cornbread dividing line:
La’Wan’s corn muffin and Lupie’s cornbread are humble things. But they represent something deeper: The dividing line between black Southerners and white ones. As examples of one of the defining staples of Southern food, they also are a marker of food history that speaks volumes about origins and identity, about family and what we hold dear.
It also raises a question: So many Southern food traditions are shared by both races. Most Southerners, black and white, revere fried chicken, pursue pork barbecue and exalt their grandmothers’ garden vegetables. So why is there such a fundamental difference between two styles of one basic bread?
This look at the career of a dude synchronized swimmer (WHICH IS A REAL SPORT IN CANADA SO KEEP YOUR WISECRACKS TO YOURSELF) was delightful:
Still, no matter how much the world of synchro liked him personally, and no matter how much his female competitors admired his love of their sport, Bill was barely tolerated. Someone — he doesn’t know who — called Bill’s house and told his mother he was a sicko and a pervert for insisting on spending all day with girls in their bathing suits. Bill and his coach, Chris Carver, considered litigation after some competitions wouldn’t allow him in, but they didn’t have the money. Bill’s camp had been optimistic, but the others’ optimism waned while Bill’s still glowed with the painfully American idea that life could be fair, that you could work hard and want something and that just the working and the wanting could win over hearts, knock down barriers and cause change in even the most ossified institutions.
The people who cared most about Bill worried. Dee O’Hara, Bill’s first synchro coach, feared that he had no future. “Just do swimming,” she pleaded. Speed-swimming. Or diving. Or gymnastics. She’d never seen such a gifted athlete. She didn’t understand why he’d waste this kind of talent on a sport that, yes, she loved, but that was never going to welcome him as anything but an oddity and a hassle.
A reminder that I am not a real editor bc if someone CALLED ME with a pitch I would die of a heart attack instantly, and also I learned a bunch from this:
Laura: What’s the most common mistake you see in pitches?
Robin: Most common mistake—pitching a topic, rather than a story.
Christine: The most common mistake I see is freelancers who don’t do their homework and read our website first. I.e., the majority of new pitches we get are for 10,000-word feature stories, like you’d see in National Geographic magazine, whereas we publish mostly 600-word-or-so news stories.
Meg: I’ll agree with Christine that a lack of familiarity with the publication is the most common. Another is presenting a story as something you’re dying to write, rather than as something our reader would be dying to read. Successful pitchers don’t lead with their own desires or credentials. Instead, they focus on what’s amazing about a story and how the story would fit into what the publication is trying to do.
Adam: The most common mistake I see is a lack of familiarity with the magazine—pitches that are aimed as web articles, pitches on subjects we’ve covered (that don’t advance the story), pitches for stories in a format or with an approach that Wired would never do. As an editor, I only want to feel loved, like the writer knows my true soul. Otherwise: no relationship.
I’m currently wearing my Carly Rae tour shirt, thinking about the awesome show I saw earlier this month. She is a treasure.
I saw her two weeks ago and it was one of the best shows I’ve been to in awhile. And the venue was, like, MAYBE two-thirds full. I don’t get it!!
I went to a similarly small show–it was at the Cain’s Ballroom in Tulsa, and the crowd filled about half the ballroom floor. It’s a fairly small venue, but as the author describes, everyone was so happy and knew every single song.
I WAS AT THAT SHOW! It was so good! I was so happy! I wish I was wearing my tour shirt right now (I got the Warm Blood one).
I love the Cain’s so much. It’s such a neat place.
If you want to share details of the experience, I wouldn’t complain about hearing them. Just saying.
I drove three hours or so with a friend to Tulsa, which was an experience due to the rainy weather and how terrible the Oklahoma roads are. The Cain’s is in downtown Tulsa, so we ate nearby and walked to the venue to get our tickets at Will Call and to get shirts.
Fairground Saints and Cardiknox opened for Carly; they were both fun, although Cardiknox was more in line with Carly’s sound. Then Carly came on, and the crowd just exploded. She had a sax player and was wearing the sparkliest shirt. She told us that she had almost missed the show because the bus had left her in Kansas! It was a glorious experience. I jumped up and down so much that my legs were sore for almost a week, and I sang and screamed myself hoarse. EMOTION is a pop masterpiece, and that was evident in the live performances. She also did “Fever,” which will be on the Japanese remix album that’s coming out next month (I think). So fun. Even the drive home in the pouring rain and getting home at 2 AM was worth it!
Wow! So this was the show right after the one in Lawrence, probably! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, and knowing this was soon after the one I would’ve seen makes it even better.
I just want to chime in and say my favorite part of the show was when she put on a cape to sing “Your Type”, which is my personal fave off E MO TION (this was also the point in the show where she switched from a regular mic stand to a pearl covered mic stand).
Is it the gray one with a cartoon version of her face in four colors? That’s the shirt I got when I saw her in Boston at the Paradise! It’s so great, I wear it to bed and also everywhere.
I got the one with the rainbow colors on the front and all the tour dates on the back 😀
I saw her at Terminal 5 and the Trocadero. The Troc show was so much more intimate, but I loved every second of both! Boyf and I both got shirts and I bought him the vinyl for Christmas!
I like slowly, ever so slowly, the rest of the world is waking up and realized what a fantastic album they missed out when it first came out.
I was at the Baltimore show and it was great. The main floor was pretty full, but not uncomfortably so, but the back half of the venue that’s this kind of raised platform thing (?) was mostly empty, which made me sad. But! There were a lot of heterosexual couples there, where both parties were equally excited about Carly Rae, and that made me really happy.
Also #drescherjepsen2016
Nikki’s NYT essay = amazing. I cringed when reading the excerpts from Frank deFord…dear god, Kristi was a force on the ice and I loved her so much during those years! Thank you so much for writing. 🙂
ok, off to read other things and start/finish my coffee.
It was great! Also, good lord does the 1992 Newsweek article referenced look terrible in retrospect.
whose bloodlines both stretch back, pure and simple, to the same soft cherry-blossom days on the one bold little island of Honshu
Not only is it appalling to refer to “bloodlines” when talking about humans and not horses, but this is also just some genuinely bad prose.
are you a SWORD or are you a CHRYSANTHEMUM, take our Creeping Orientalist Stereotype Quiz today
Sheesh: “Certainly, deep within her, she is still Japanese-some of her must be”. I was already well over Frank deFord, he of the second-most-inexplicable NPR paycheck (sorry, Cokie), but that just makes my skin crawl.
Cokie is just standard NPR! Frank is SO MUCH WORSE.
I think that I disliked her more because, when I was still listening to NPR in the morning, I usually couldn’t avoid her on Monday mornings. (In fact, that may have been why I stopped listening to NPR in the morning.) Frank I could usually avoid; IIRC, he was usually blathering near the top of the hour when I was busy getting to work.
I don’t think that Ruth Benedict was that bad. Do you? I would like to hear.
Pls explain the difference between a pure and simple bloodline, and a complicated and unnecessary one, thx.
That “bold little island” is the seventh largest in the world and home to 100 million people.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3
I was so excited when I saw the byline: “I know her! Ok, I don’t actually know her, but it’s Nikki!”
I wonder if Frank deFord straight up read all of “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword” and was like, well, there’s everything I ever need to know about Japanese culture, right there.
He read Shogun, too. Let’s be fair.
actual lol
if you read The Toast you probably know more about me than 90% of my relatives, tbh
Frank deFord should be shot into space. He continues his proud tradition of being terrible and is patently the worst part of the fusty bits of programming NPR keeps around to placate the Boomers.
See also: Keillor, Garrison
In Garrison Keillor’s defense, I recently took a long car trip with my dad, and at least there are long stretches of folk music. Deford just complains.
Just this. Hearing Brandi Carlile sing “Sunday Morning Coming Down” on APHC forgives a lot of Guy Noir and The Lives of the Cowboys sketches, although I’d still prefer not to have to listen to them. And didn’t they name his replacement a while ago?
Yeah, Chris Thile is going to take over!
I loved the show a few weeks back that C.T. hosted. Paul Simon was a dick to him and then, in a perfect example of Immediate Karma, forgot the lyrics to his own song.
It was particularly satisfying because Thile was so obviously, purely, honestly amazed and excited to be working with Simon.
you know, keillor’s “poet’s almanac” is pretty good – but APHC makes my skin craawwwlll.
at least it seems like frank deford is appearing less and less on npr?
Oh man, Poet’s Almanac is the reason I do not set my alarm for 6:45 because I just can’t wake up to that. Granted, this is likely related to my seething hatred of GK — my full body response when I hear him speak is “smug jackass.”
Frank deFord is indeed a rare occurrence, which is great! He seems to pop up at the worst times though (mostly when I’m trapped in my car). I vividly remember one piece of his several years ago where he was spouting off about how superior marriage is to just living together. He is the WORST.
ha! I don’t think Poet’s Almanac or PHC are even on my local NPR affiliate (or if they are, thank god, not at the time of day I usually listen). and YES to Frank always appearing while trapped in a car!
Wednesday mornings, right around 7:45, as far as I know.
Ahh well then that explains his delightful absence from my life – I don’t usually listen around that time.
My very good friend loves Garrison and we went to see him live last fall. We were by far the youngest in the crowd (except for a few children who came with their grandparents). Garrison said something like “Kids today don’t know the words to ‘I’ve Been Working On the Railroad'” and it dawned on me that this guy is a) full of it. All kid’s albums have that song on them and b) an ageist divider. He may not be saying that all millennials are lazy and entitled but he isn’t not saying that either.
That being said: For an old guy, he was pretty entertaining.
That quotation! I had forgotten what a big deal got made out of Kristi being 4th generation (!) American. Even then, I was like “wait, I’m 4th generation American. It’s nbd. What’s that about?”
Yeah, I’m only third generation and aside from a few pleasant holiday traditions and a hard-to-spell surname, I’m about as assimilated as you can get. It wouldn’t even occur to me that it would be otherwise.
OMG SHE TWEETED IT AND SAID THE LOVELIEST THING
I AM DEAD
OMG verklempt! So amazing!!!! Ah!
!!!!!!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3
Oh my gosh, I know I’m late to this but whenever anyone goes off on how terrible social media is, I’ll tell them how it allowed Nikki to get a message from her hero.
Toasts, this morning I woke myself up laughing. The reason is that I had a whole bunch of hair in my eyes. And I thought, so this is what it feels like to be Charlie Potato Hashbrowns!
Where is Mr Potato today? We may have inadvertently created a demand that places too much of a burden upon our correspondent as well as our star.
See how you feel after you wake up in the Potato Containment Unit.
Nah, I’m a good little potato. Nobody’s gonna put me in the slammer!
That’s what they all say!!
Boy oh boy, today’s Dear Prudie is a boatload of “WTF, Over” and Mallory handles them all like a pro, as usual.
“My boyfriend is funny, kind, and I have never clicked with anyone as I do with him. He’s also living with his ex-wife and her boyfriend.” right, OK, where’s this going… “the problem is I keep getting weird vibes from it all.” OH REALLY GOOD LORD.
CHARLES BOYLE. Nothing will ever convince me this person is not dating Charles Boyle. Certainly not reading the rest of the letter, which I plan not to do, so I can continue to believe the conclusion that I have jumped to.
Mallory points out this is not necessarily a bad situation, but I read enough advice columns/batshit crazy Reddit stories to expect ‘I get weird vibes’ to lead to ‘They keep talking to me about joining their apocalyptic sky cult’ or something.
Or indeed ‘My boyfriend is Charles Boyle’.
Also not having read the letter, this makes me feel very affectionate towards the boyfriend! I should probably not read it and have my illusions shattered.
As an aside, can I say how happy I am that B99 powered through the “unrequited love” plot with Charles and Rosa, and now has them being no-baggage besties? Down to him throwing her the best of her bachelorette parties?
All the guys except Charles were at the bachelor party…because Rosa called dibs on Charles as her maid of honor. YES.
Charles is so great. We just watched the episode where they try to steal the captain’s watch and Charles insists on being called Deuce, and I can’t even process how awesome he is. He just DOES NOT CARE what other people think of his preferences and interests. I love him.
Yes, I warmed up to Boyle 1000% once they dropped that plotline, and it has been excellent ever since. (Except for Adrian Pimento. I do not love him and he’s ruining the vibe.)
Unrequited love makes my list of Top 10 Worst Sitcom Whipping Boys. It’s TOO REAL to be funny, and besides, I hate sitcoms that derive their humor from the writers’ apparent hatred for the characters. The obvious affection with which EVERYONE (even insane flake Gina! even goody two-shoes Santiago!) is written on B99 is the best thing about it.
NINE NINE
I just realized that I misread this entire thread– I thought you were talking about the French actor Charles Boyer and making a joke about the movie “Gaslight” (where he tries to drive Ingrid Bergman insane).
That seemed fine to me, tbh. Her boyfriend makes practical decisions, prioritises his kids and must have a decent relationship with his ex. That seems like an ok guy to me
Yes, I know of similar situations, too. Even if the relationship between the exes isn’t the greatest, they’re trying to do the best for the kids, and it has worked out much better for everyone involved than trying to find accessible, affordable housing in a disgusting rental market.
Yeah, I’ve heard of this enough to consider it unusual, but not unheard of. (Actually, sounds better to me as a non-participant than the one where the kids stay in the house and the parents move in and out to share custody, but maybe that’s just a reflection of how much I hate packing.)
HOLY SHIT HER BOYFRIEND BEAT A BURGLAR UNCONSCIOUS.
Yeah, that one is so terrifying. “What do I do?” GET OUT NOW.
Yep. Get out, get out now, possibly move, or at least change your locks.
Good god, yes. It reminded me of Aaron Echols.
The “this reminds me of Charles Boyle” comment made me find the idea of this person endearing. Any comparison to Aaron Echolls makes me want to run screaming in the opposite direction.
These are different boyfriends, don’t worry!
Oh, thank goodness. The concept of a man who somehow combined Charles Boyle and Aaron Echolls into one person was putting my brain at risk of breaking.
Gah, I somehow read this as Aaron Eckhart and thought “Nooooooo, what did he do!?”
Yeah, not only should she leave him, she should do so with extreme caution. Holy shit.
That letter! So chilling. And of course, the comments were full of people being like “he was just protecting her!” etc.
HOLY SHIT THAT ONE WAS TERRIFYING.
The revenge one is from Reddit, I saw it there first. (Team sister!)
Yes! I was coming here to say that. I probably would have just left all my cameras at home that day, but that’s just me.
I am worried for the woman with the terrifyingly violent boyfriend. What is he going to do to her if he finds out she was the one who reported him? There is no good way out of this situation!
Immediately my thought as well * shudders *
[fingers in ears] I ONLY WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE WEDDING ONE
IT’S HILARIOUS
Hey, the chronically late neighbor dad’s a good harmless one, too.
True! A nice, simple, “don’t make it your problem” answer.
I don’t think Mallory was hard enough on the husband of LW1. She has had multiple miscarriages so that he can fulfill his desire to have a second child, and he’s still pressuring her when she’s clearly physically and emotionally spent. It’s downright abusive behavior.
YUP. That one left me fuming (and also *very* thankful for the husband I’ve got). I’d like to give that dude a piece of my mind.
Yeah, i read that as reproductive coercion and thus abuse. I think she needs to gtfo, he’s treating her health and well-being far too cavalierly.
(And take your child with you, your husband seems to see family as extensions of himself and that’s bad.)
Agreed. That husband is awful. I also think the wife should consider a divorce.
Ugh ugh ugh. The thing I thought was conspicuously missing was, did she actually straight up tell him “No, I don’t want to try anymore” at any point? If so, he kept pushing (UGH) and if not, is she scared to, or does she not feel entitled to draw a line with him (yikes)?
WHAT is going on with all these people acting like Donald Trump’s comments about abortion are some kind of FAR OUT DYSTOPIAN NIGHTMARE. It’s been reported in Ireland as if Ireland DOESN’T HAVE a penalty of fourteen years’ imprisonment for women who access abortion within Ireland. It’s being reported in the UK as if abortion isn’t still criminalised here (the 1967 Abortion Act makes exceptions to the Offences Against The Person Act, permitting abortion under certain circumstances in England, Scotland and Wales.) Two women are currently being prosecuted for abortion in Northern Ireland, one for procuring the abortion pill for herself and one for procuring it for her young daughter.
And that’s not even getting on to the US, where apparently all the pro-lifers are suddenly against criminalising women, those poor innocent victims, despite the fact that a bunch of states are happily prosecuting women for endangering their foetuses by not wearing seatbelts or having the temerity to be mentally ill?
Are people really in this much denial about abortion? What the hell?
I hate to say it, but yeah. People are in that much denial about it.
I am truly fascinated that people are managing it in Ireland when #Repealthe8th was an election issue. But that probably says a lot about the particular bit of the electorate that I see.
Luckily the Repeal the 8th campaign is getting louder and stronger and, most crucially, mainstream. The main parties are still ignoring the issue, but it’s becoming more and more important to larger swathes of the electorate. It was dismissed for years as just a ‘crank’s issue’ (and people LOVE sweeping stuff under the carpet and Not Making A Fuss and running a mile from anything to do with women’s bodies in Ireland, but that’s slowly starting to change). We’ve a long way to go yet, but it’s gaining momentum.
I avoid all Drumpf-related news so I’ve no idea what he said, but whatever it was the Irish media would have no leg to stand on getting #outraged about it considering just over a year ago doctors here couldn’t legally take a brain-dead pregnant woman off life support because her unviable foetus still had a heartbeat. Horror stories, in Ireland, in 2015/6.
Re: pregnant brain-dead women on life support: that happened here in Texas too in 2014.
I remember looking it up at the time because I was like ‘this CAN’T have precedent’…and it did 🙁 🙁 🙁
Yeah, the entire issue is that Donald Trump forgot to keep up the pro-life propaganda that they’re against criminalizing women. Because that, you see, is unpopular.
Better to go after the doctors – many of whom, you may have heard, are not even Christians!
So we are pro criminalising pregnant women for not wearing seatbelts, but against criminalising women for getting abortions? Right, right.
We’re pro-criminalising pregnant women for all sorts of things, but against…mumble..well…abortion..someone else…love women…
“the woman is the victim here, as is the life in her womb.” BARF.
I can’t remember if it was Ted Cruz or another republican but one of the responses was like “we are not in favor of criminalizing mothers” and I had a rage moment because of course we aren’t “people” or even “women” no, as soon as you get pregnant (even if it’s your first pregnancy and it’s unwanted) you are a “mother.”
Actually that’s extremely telling language… another chance to turn women into victims. BARF again.
Yup – with the implication being that no woman would ever choose to have an abortion of her own free will.
HOW could you CHOOSE to throw away your amazing POWER TO GIVE LIFE? (Implication: it’s the only power you have!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzkK3ZtI9SU
Republicans are screaming about Trump’s statements on abortion and then crowing about the new (DRACONIAN AND MEDICALLY RIDICULOUS) abortion restrictions in Indiana and Utah like they’re great victories.
I heard a dreadful interview with someone from the Susan B. Anthony List who was like, “Oh, well, anyone who thinks that the logical conclusion of criminalizing abortion is punishing women clearly doesn’t understand the pro-life movement, which is that the woman and child are a package deal who both need to be saved. The first wave of feminists agreed with us that abortion was oppression – ‘guilty was the one who had an abortion, but thrice guilty is the one who pushes her to it.’ The pro-life movement believes that women are victimized before they even have an abortion by having to consider it.”
And I just about lost my shit. Oh, so early feminists are all fine and dandy when you’re not using Margaret Sanger’s admittedly shitty views about race to pretend that the only reason for abortion is eugenics/genocide – not to mention Susan B. Anthony’s shitty views about race! And let’s completely ignore the cultural context of the early 20th century when women had extremely limited control over literally everything and abortions may have been coerced by the men in their lives, so they’re being victimized by ABUSE and not abortion on its own. Or the fact that women have abortions because THEY DON’T WANT CHILDREN, not because they’re dying to fulfill a biological imperative but are convinced they can’t afford it.
She gave some bullshit line about there being “literally millions” of people ready to help with pregnancy and new mom care, and I was like, “AND THEN?” What happens after that? Because all I see are social programs, Obamacare, and funding for basic things like education being attacked and slashed all over the country.
Newsflash which also applies to people in favour of criminalising sex-work:
you don’t haaaaave
to take away this option
in order to provide other options! *sparkly music*
if you want to help women
because you are worried that they aren’t choosing this thing you don’t like of their own free will
*sparkly music*
you can give them money and food and shelter and work opportunities and education and childcare
and STIIIIIILL
leave this option open to them
if they want it!!
*sparkly music*
*repeat*
*and fade*
I’m imagining this as one of those subliminal-message tapes that you’re supposed to put in your Walkman while you sleep.
Would absolutely buy these, pretty sure most of my conservative relatives still have 1980s music-listening technology I could exploit.
Yesssssssssssss
We’re not going to give them anything, those babies and strippers gotta pull themselves up by their bootstraps
There’s a great blog by a feminist OB/GYN who writes a lot on reproductive health and freedom, and one her go-to statements for people who keep coming up with whataboutery arguments in favour of abortion criminalisation is ‘Abortion is the symptom, not the problem’. By that she doesn’t mean that abortion is a problem, because she doesn’t believe that, but she’s pointing out that those who come up with arguments against it are actually (or should actually be) protesting a larger issue which may be affecting women’s free choice. For example, if someone believes women will end wanted pregnancies because of lack of postnatal support, the answer is not banning abortion, but enacting legislation that helps new parents e.g. paid maternity leave and similar. If someone is worried about sex-selective abortions in some cultures, the answer is not banning abortion, but supporting advocates for greater education and opportunities for all within that culture. And so on. It applies to just about every ‘but what about THIS aspect!!’ argument that get trotted out. It’s beautiful in its simplicity and clear logic.
ETA: Dammit, can’t find the blog. But here’s Ta-Nehisi Coates being excellent on the subject: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/…
Oh Ta-Nehisi Coates. *hearteyes*
I only once have had a conversation with an anti-abortion person that I respected, because she was in favor of free birth control, social programs, and basically all the things that ACTUALLY reduce abortion.
The unicorns exist! I too would respect someone who held this position, and I wish there were more of them (or at least that they weren’t drowned out by the others)
Most of my anti-abortion friends are like this. In my experience, there are more folks in my 30-something age group who are reconsidering the knee-jerk conservatism of their parents’ generation and embracing a broad do-no-harm/do-the-most-good mindset in politics. For good or ill, many of them are also really burned out on political engagement (or at least political outspokenness), so they get drowned out by the people who think poverty is a sign of laziness or only sluts get pregnant outside of wedlock. But yeah, it’s a good thing to hear people say, “I literally don’t understand how you can be against abortion but oppose universal free birth control/mandatory family leave/universal healthcare.”
We have a group of local nuns who take 24/7 care of severely disabled children. Even though I disagree with their stance on abortion, I give them a lot of credit for putting their money where their mouth is.
Oh, I had not read this TNC piece before. Thank you!
My immediate reaction to this statement was “pretty sure that in most cases, illegal abortion is its own punishment.”
Right? Plus, do they not understand what making abortion “illegal” means?
I mean, in my dictionary, “illegal” means against the law. In most cases, when you break the law, you end up being punished for breaking it. So, all you nutjobs who want to make all abortion illegal, how are you possibly NOT saying that you think women who get abortions should be punished? WORDS MEAN THINGS, people.
Oh, I’m sure there’s a tenuously consistent position which says that it should be illegal, but that it’s the providers who should be criminalised, not the pregnant people. Same as those people who think that you can criminalise the buyers of sex but not the sex-workers, and that this somehow doesn’t make things more dangerous or harder for the people you claim to see as helpless victims.
I wonder what they think should happen to pregnant people who perform DIY abortions…
I think a lot of people think “illegal” means “it won’t happen.” So therefore there would be nothing to punish. Obviously this is not true, but…
Yeah, that appeared to be the “logic” behind the 1983 campaign to enshrine lack of choice in the Irish constitution. ‘If it’s totally illegal, it won’t happen! Or, at least, it won’t happen HERE.’
And if USicans want to criminalize cis women who can get pregnant, they may as well criminalize other people capable of pregnancy who aren’t women. (That is, trans men and afab non-binary people, which may include certain intersex people as well. But of course, trans men’s male privilege will come into play, and non-binary people will have their identities erased.)
Oops, yes, thanks for this. Where I’ve been ranting elsewhere I’ve said people, but I slipped back into “women” here!
At a certain point I realized that anti-abortion laws mean that I have more control over my body dead than alive (my organs can’t be used against my will when I’m dead, but my womb is the property of the state while I’m alive).
Nothing has ever been the same since.
WOW. I’ve thought a lot about all those things individually, but haven’t put them together in that way before. That is devastating.
Toastie Book Group: Can we somehow work that “Elle on Earth” piece into the schedule and discuss it because I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
I also have questions, but I am not convinced that a close reading will answer any of them.
For those who sensibly gave up after reading the first two paragraphs, here is a ‘best of whatever that was’. For the rest of us: just. What was that. What did we read. Why did we read it. Why did we finish it.
Also I would like to extend my sympathies to any editors triggered by the grievous omission of editing in that piece.
THANK YOU. DUDE HAS NO IDEA WHAT A COMMA IS SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR.
THE LACK OF EDITING/POOR WRITING. Oh, my god. Can you imagine what the original piece he turned in was like? I wish they would release it, and then someone could do a red ink grammatical annotation of the century on it.
SUCH. AWFUL. WRITING.
I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure the Elle spokesperson’s comment, “We always edit for clarity and concision” is some wonderful shade that just lets the Observer piece speak for itself.
I too am 100% convinced of this.
I started by skimming it and realized it wasn’t making sense that way. On deeper reading, I had the same realization.
Thank you for this. I gave up right at the end of this clause: “and in such her independence is total.”
AND
IN
SUCH
I appreciate that I just gave up after two paragraphs, came here, and got to pat myself on the back for being “sensible.” Thanks.
I don’t have questions, but I do have a tremendous headache from trying to make it through that whole piece. Jacques needs to purchase some punctuation, post-haste.
If he has any money left over after that, it should go on a copyeditor.
Fully aware that I may be a grumpy insufficiently-caffeinated fecker today, but I’m not totally surprised that magazines did not want to send this chap to cover anything. Bombastic doesn’t even begin to cover it.
The thing is, though, you know? I’m not the world’s biggest Cormac McCarthy fan by a LONG shot, but Cormac McCarthy is literally legibile despite his apparent belief that punctuation is unmanly. Jacques is just…. a horrible fucking writer. I would describe his thought process as loosely-associated, grandiose, and scattered. And assholic.
Well, yeah. The punctuation thing was just the tip of a very crappy iceberg.
It’s like, Virginia Woolf could write stream-of-consciousness and have it be coherent and magically enhancing.
This dude, though, his consciousness was not so much streaming as flailing through a stream after crashing through a bridge, slipping on some rocks and all the while raging at the fundament.
The old maxim ‘you gotta know the rules in order to break them well’ definitely applies here.
NO BECAUSE IT HURT MY BRAIN. /autocrat
I did just realize that Code Name Verity would be perfect for discussion, though!
Toastie Book Group, what time is the meeting this weekend? I wrote it down but then immediately lost it
4pm Eastern I think?
thanks!
I would like to know more about the Toastie Book Group, pretty please!
We meet about once a month and talk about books on slack! You can join the group here.
The Carly Rae Jepsen album was recommended to me by a gentleman friend as one of his favorite albums of 2015 and he was 100% correct. IT’S SO GOOD. It’s a perfect little pop album and it makes my work day such a joy.
Also, Lubchansky’s reaction to Trump was my reaction. I saw that and I was like, oh Trump said something misogynistic and reactionary? Wow. Color me surprised.
OT, but how does everybody feel about the DC Metro potentially closing lines for 6 months?
I am so torn about the metro. I mean, I get why they’re talking about it, and I’d certainly like for it to not be breaking down constantly. I don’t want to be fearing for my life every time I get on it. But there’s got to be another option. Six months without various lines (and that could easily extend to years of severely disrupted service) seems like it would be catastrophic. Then again, the system breaking down completely or killing more people would also be catastrophic.
Of course, I say this as someone with a car who could very well get to work without the metro if I had to. It’d be inconvenient for me, but it wouldn’t really threaten my livelihood like it will for so many people. If I didn’t have access for 6 months, I might not ever go back just because I’d forget about it. But I might also never go into the city again.
Re Metro: I kind of think it’s a good idea? As long as there is a VERY robust plan in place to bring in a ton of buses to replace the missing line. They actually do a pretty decent job of adding enough shuttles in emergency situations, so I think that’s something doable.
Honestly, nearly anything is preferable to this death by inches weekend trackwork that’s been going on forever. The Metro is basically deeply annoying-to-unusable every weekend and it would be nice to have that functionality back.
I am entirely metro reliant and I’m kind of terrified. I already have enough trouble getting to work on time, and taking the bus from where I live now would add a good 30 to 40 minutes to my commute. That being said, I’m glad they have someone in charge who’s willing to take drastic measures instead of just letting the mediocrity and frustration drag out forever.
The one they mentioned was the Blue Line, and I feel like a significant number of Blue Line stops (esp in DC and VA) are served by other lines. Would they stop all service on those stretches of track? Or would those people have the option to take the Orange, Silver or Yellow lines instead?
I also share @cait0716’s concern that there would be a major ridership dip when the system did reopen (I expect that it might eventually get back to “normal”, but it might take several years). And of course there would be increased crowding of buses and increased traffic congestion. Certainly if they shut down a line they would need to increase the bus service to affected areas.
I don’t have a car. If they shut down the Red Line (I live in Wheaton) I would have some other options, but they aren’t great. I would probably be able to negotiate a large amount of remote work, but I don’t have a good workspace where I’m living now, so that’s not really ideal (although maybe if I didn’t have to spend so much of my day commuting I could get my space more organized). DC’s three major industries are government, education and tourism, and for a lot of people employed in those fields, remote work isn’t an option, and many of those people rely on Metro to get where they need to go, so if they’re going to do it, they really need to make sure that there are workable options for people.
Re: the Metro, I feel like WMATA is just going “lol” at all of us.
DC resident here! I feel… mixed emotions. It’s very VERY clear that routine maintenance and care has not been kept up to the standard it should have been, and drastic measure are necessary to upgrade the system to something reliable that can handle the volume of commuters using it now. On the other hand, a lot of people rely on it to get to work and planned their living situations around access to metro and taking it away could have a devastating effect on their lives. I don’t know what the right answer is. I do appreciate that the new GM seems to be very serious about tackling the big problems with the system while making easy, immediate improvements (like the “six car train stops here” signs or the 15 minute grace period to exit a station you just entered without charge).
I mean, it’s terrible, but I feel like the Metro is in bad enough condition at this point that there’s not a better option? Piecemeal maintenance and repairs are clearly not enough anymore.
Unrelated but when I was a kid the local bakery did an amazing bread that was called cornbread and I’ve never found it since or seen a recipe; and Google searches turn up the American cornbread, which sounds awesome but not what I’m looking for!
( for the curious; it was a proper risen loaf with a thick crust that was vibrant yellow inside and super soft and it was the best with salty butter)
I know a bakery that did an amazing non-American corn bread as a gluten-free alternative. I bought it and grilled it with avocado and cheese every day for weeks even though I’m not coeliac. Please report back if you ever find a recipe?
I was looking for it again because I wanted a non-wheat bread to eat without stomach cramps! The recipes below seem promising!
Thanks! They do look great. I didn’t even remember I’d eaten this stuff until I read your comment, so thanks for getting me into it again!
The bakery stall at the farmers’ market in my town has this! It usually has corn on the top and it is amaaaaazing as toast and frog-in-the-hole. My go-to when I am there, for sure. Try this or this recipe, or one for Portuguese broa.
I knew I could count on the toast! Those look very close to what I’m remembering, I’ll have to give them a try!
I saw a story about Sweden, they love making sourdough there and there’s a business that as a side service will babysit your sourdough dough for you while you go on vacation. That made me smile.
Awwwwww!
I think there are some traditional Italian breads made with polenta.
I was saddened for a bit when the Link Roundup was dead this morning but it was so worth the wait. Nicole, you are the queen of link curation!
I always love reading pieces Michael Twitty is quoted in, He’s great! That whole piece is great! I’ve always heard that “real Southern cornbread” doesn’t have sugar (I’m northern, I sweeten my cornbread) but as with many recent discussions of Southern food, it’s interesting to learn that this is a stance that erases black Southern culture.
Can’t wait to read this Elle piece (didn’t see it on twitter so I’m going in naive) and the Mothman piece (great header photo, omg) and the piece on pitching, in case I ever come up with an idea for the Toast.
I clicked refresh so many times waiting for it to work – what do I time my morning work break around if not the link roundup?
I was frustrated to see that the recipes at the end of the article were the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the article discussed (white corn without sugar vs. yellow corn with sugar/flour).
re: cornbread – interesting to me that having grown up in oklahoma, which is not The South but also Quite Southern in many respects, my mother made her cornbread without sugar but my paternal grandmother with sugar. I generally make it with a litttlllee sugar and prefer to eat it with butter and a lot of blackstrap molasses. unfortunately for me, mr inkwashed doesn’t like cornbread (“it’s too crumbly! this isn’t even real bread!”) so I usually only make it when he’s out of town.
suffice to say, I had no idea that this was a white-south/black-south culinary division.
I’m from the piney woods of east texas (so texas at it’s most southern) and i’m white and i don’t think i have ever had cornbread without sugar in it. the only way my family makes cornbread is the jiffy blue box but out at restaurants too.
yeah, exactly, i am also from east texas and reading that article was baffling for me. every restaurant/diner/fried catfish shack I’ve ever eaten in at home uses sweetened cornbread, and so has every person who’s ever made me dinner at their house.
my (white, rural, poor) grandma always made sweetened cornbread with yellow meal. sometimes she would buy white corn meal and make what she called “corn biscuits,” which weren’t sweet, and were intended to be eaten in place of regular (bisquick) biscuits as a way to sop up gravy/sauce/what-have-you. whether we had flour biscuits or corn biscuits depended on what was on sale at the grocery store. but corn biscuits and cornbread weren’t substitutes for one another; they were different starches we used for different meals, so it was really disorienting to read that article and find out that our biscuits are what other white people defensively think of as cornbread. also i’ve never understood the “sweet cornbread is cake” argument – what’s wrong with cake?!?!?
on the other side of the family, my tejano relatives do a thing where they put roasted poblanos or jalapenos in (sweetened) cornbread, and it is delicious, and the most tex-mex thing ever, and i love it.
this all furthers my half-baked theory that, while east texas is definitely southern, is is in some ways less culturally segregated than other parts of the deep south – not to say it’s less racist or anything, god no, my brown family can attest to that – just that there seems to be more crossover in food/music/social practices between black people and white people than there is in, say, alabama or mississippi, and i think maybe the reason for that is the historical presence of tejano people? which made race hierarchies more complicated in texas than in the deep south, and accordingly changed the methods by which cultural segregation was constructed and enforced in the nineteenth century, which in turn made for a slightly different modern cultural landscape.
that got long, sorry, but i’m working on my dissertation about the social and rhetorical construction of race in 19th-century america, and i think about this stuff a lot. thank you, the toast dot net, for being a safe space for my pretentious thoughts re: food and history.
I’m from Arizona and I usually make cornbread with honey and green chili. I love it but most of my family (transplants from Idaho) think it is too spicy.
yeah, i’ve had green chili cornbread all over the southwest – including colorado, where i live now – and i kind of think it’s universally lovely. i think i’ll try using honey as the sweetener next time i make it, that sounds delicious!
You just keep making it that way. It sounds wonderful. That your Idaho transplant family is turned off is a bonus: More for you and me!
as a canadian, (our racial history is terrible in different ways) thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, because it’s some really useful context for me as I’m reading all the news and stories coming from the states and the south.
(not logging into intensedebate because my work computer hates it.)
Oh thank goodness someone else is saying so. I couldn’t get very far into that article with my eyebrows going Up To THERE and not trusting anything at all and wondering about racism because, I actually AM southern and from a southern family (they’re rural GA and FL and I’ve lived in NE Fla all my life!) and the only time I’ve had not-sweet cornbread, it was specifically a corn pone or something from a Central/South American cuisine. And it was shocking and I spit it out every time.
Jiffy blue box is a staple in our pantries. My mom makes a pretty good corn casserole that’s mostly cornbread mix and a little bit of creamed corn to prove it’s not just a giant casserole dish of cornbread.
my mom makes the same style corn casserole. we had it last weekend for easter served with brisket and beans and jiffy cornbread and a bunch of other fixings
I’m white, and have never had non-yellow, non-sweet cornbread, whether in muffin or square form. So I dunno. “The South” is not so monolithic that this is a simple black or white thing, though I’m sure that is part of it.
oh man I got a friend that did a study of the Mothman as a cultural phenomenon, and recently when he sent me a “save the date” for his wedding, he used his full name on it and I had never met his wife, and the pictures didn’t show all of their faces (artfully, not accidentally).
The point is that I saw the postcard and I said, “What? Who are these people? I don’t know these people. ‘Joseph’ who the fuck is ‘Joseph’?” Then I turned it over and saw a picture of them standing under the Mothman statue and THAT I recognized. “Ohhhh, it’s Joe, of course, of course.”
I can truly only hope to inspire the same response whenever I end up sending out wedding invites/save the dates
you got to start working now if you want a life as weird as Joe’s
I feel like despite not knowing anything of Joe’s particular weirdness levels, I have a new life goal to work towards.
He’s also published a book about vampires (modern-day subculture, not Dracula).
I need to know the name of these works!
“Vampires Today: The Truth about Modern Vampirism”
He also wrote a book about the moral panic over D&D. He’s pretty much the coolest.
I feel weird giving out, essentially, a real person’s bio details, but I suppose we all do that when we link to published authors we like?
Ah–I looked up his books and thought, hmm, his interests overlap with those of someone I knew in grad school. And looked at the indexes, and yup, he cites that guy. (Too bad all your friend’s publications are university-press, only-libraries-will-buy-these-things priced, or I’d be snapping them up.)
TY for the info! I would very much like to know the truth about modern vampirism and now I know what I am going to do this weekend.
My real-life name is fairly unusual, so I have no hope of ever achieving Joe’s artfully weird anonymity, but I aspire to that sort of reaction. “Ohhhhh, it’s Manka(onlynotManka). Of course.” I mean, what a perfect life goal.
I googled Mothman and then read up on him/it extensively on Wikipedia, so now I can’t sleep tonight.
(But the story is hilarious!)
The date in question being 9/17/16? Small world, man.
whaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!
Yup, Joe & his fiancee used to be part of our Wednesday Drinks with Church Folks group, before they moved out of town. I miss those crazy kids.
I went to college with Joe, we invented a college tradition where on April 30th everyone gets drunk and uses chalk to draw hideous Cthulhu-monsters all over campus.
I believe this tradition is still ongoing.
That is an excellent tradition.
In my opinion, it’s Hampshire’s best.
of COURSE joe went to hampshire
LOL OF COURSE
BRB, co-opting this for my university town…
Does this mean there’s going to be a Toast meetup at the wedding??
That would be amazing. We should all wear buttons with the Happiest Woman in the World to all formal occasions, just in case.
I made it halfway through that Observer piece before realizing that there is no way I can get through it without alcohol. Who the fuck is this person and why did anyone let him write that
Right?!? I made it to the point where he was talking about dating models in the past and peaced out.
Did you get any idea about what was going on in the article, because I have no idea what the hell he was talking about. All I know is that the dude hates everyone
No, because his grammar is ATROCIOUS and half of the sentences make little to no sense
Oh man, the response from Elle is SAVAGE:
Reached for comment on the Observer piece, an Elle spokeswoman simply had this to say: “We always edit for clarity and concision.”
It is my deep and abiding hope that the Observer editor who published that piece is in cahoots with the Elle spokeswoman who made that comment.
I want whomever issued that quote to write the epitaph for my tombstone so that I may subtly insult people from beyond the grave.
“[Elle] discarded the text I had written entirely but not before she stole its structures and plagiarized its ideas.”
“stole its structures”
0.0
EVERY SENTENCE of the “dating models” bit!
“But models more than any designers and fashion editors, who mostly remain part of a very limited, incestuous cast, had a remarkable impact on society over the last three decades. Most of them in order to stay skeletal did coke in the 80’s, ate sushi in the 90’s and sweated on these yoga mats”
wat
“They probably did more for Buddhism than the Dalai Lama in his Gucci loafers”
… WHAT
Doing coke and eating sushi are definitely equivalent, like, morally and healthwise.
I want to know, did he enter “these” yoga mats into evidence in his sweeping indictment?
The amateur editor in me needs to do this, thank you for supplying this delicious quote:
“For the past thirty years models, more than any designer or fashion editor, have had a remarkable impact on society. Despite their skeletal thinness (coke in the 80’s, sushi and punishing yoga routines in the 90’s), models probably did more for Buddhism than the Dalai Lama in his Gucci loafers.”
Ahhhhh, that’s better….
One paragraph made me want to start crying as an editor. I couldn’t finish.
Good life choice. Bro has no idea what quotation marks are used for.
Where was his editor?? Did all the copyeditors get sacked and is this just our future?
How do you become a writer writing like that?
I’m a copyeditor (or the UK equivalent) – I assumed that, as the piece is in response to what he perceives as an editor ‘ruining’ his copy, he insisted that no one at The Observer was allowed to touch a single word. (It happens – in my experience it’s only for very high-profile writers and even then we can usually tweak punctutation etc.)
Why they agreed to it when it so badly needs editing is anyone’s guess.
I’m a little over 1/3 through and wowwwwwowow. Is there ever going to be… context? Or…. linearity? It’s not just that it’s insufferable and self-important, it’s also like reading class notes written half asleep or a raw court transcript with occasional dropped pages.
Noooo get out now, save yourself!
(it does not get any easier to understand)
I thought it was just me! I thought I couldn’t understand half of it because of the subject matter, but it just never got to the point. Usually if there’s an article about something outside my wheelhouse the author at least makes an effort to make it understandable to outsiders, but now I realize it was just this person’s inability to write. phew!
I’m glad I’m not alone. I thought maybe I needed 400 more cups of coffee, but turns out the article is just nuts. Ok. (May still need 400 more cups of coffee though).
Right? Was it dictated from deep inside Jacques own rectum? I’m only halfway through but getting that same itch I do reading Thomas Friedman.
oh thank god, i thought i was missing something **profound** because i still haven’t had any coffee. nope just punctuation
Love this part which I will take out of context but which stands for the whole* piece imho:
Fair to bet that she thought: who is this asshole coming out of nowhere?
* I stopped reading it right after this sentence. I CTRL-C’d real fast and then just closed the tab, didn’t even look at the scroll bar to see how far I’d gotten. I never saw anything about models!
I made it about three paragraphs before I realized he still hadn’t explained what this article was going to be about and was like “eh fuck it.”
Samesies.
I don’t know, but I read the whole thing and I’m still not sure exactly what is happening in it.
AH HA
That’s great I love it, she said, people are so fucking stupid nobody knows what Dada is.
Including, I’d venture, the author of this piece.
Actually Googled the phrase “marital beardy betrayal” because I thought it might be some interesting cultural reference I had had a blind spot towards.
Nope, just three nonsense words in a row like I thought.
I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear this – I started reading it and really thought there was something wrong with me for not getting it! Have my reading comprehension skills declined so much, I worried, is my attention span really that poor these days? No, as it turns out! It was just a very, very poorly written piece.
I kept thinking that it reminded me of the way Cat Marnell used to write at xojane back when she was really lit up. Except she was considerably more coherent.
Cat Marnell is a hero for being to write as well as she did, considering the circumstances. This guy doesn’t even have drugs to blame!
Yessss totally thought it was a bad derivative of her.
I am deeply grateful for the Observer for publishing this never-ending trainwreck. I think my favourite bit was, after *savagely trashing* the editor assigned to his piece, cc’ing the entire masthead (!) to call her a liar (!!!) and calling her “power angry” (??), he said:
“The interview published in ELLE this month is surprisingly tight, concise and actually quite good. […] Anne discarded the text I had written entirely but not before she stole its structures and plagiarized its ideas.”
Which translates to: someone worked heroically hard to salvage your garbage-fire of an article.
Right???? Keeping the structure and ideas while making it tight and concise is literally how editing works.
Reading this piece made me feel exactly like I did watching Jodorowsky’s Dune. I mean…no. No, that thing you were making that was killed by reasonable checks and balances would not have been revolutionary, or good, or even coherent.
I was in no physical shape to attend the local Carly Rae Jepsen show. It was the week before my NYC trip and I knew I didn’t want to go on vacation already running an energy deficit. I was sad and now I am sadder. I mean, I know I made the right choice, but…
I _hate_ making the right choice. It is necessary, but lame. Strength!
Stupid adulthood! (shakes fist)
I did that recently for an enter shikari show. I had a long week and no energy left, but I’m still bummed I didn’t go.
ahahaahah I am not doing that tonight I am driving to Maine, seeing a concert, attending a professional conference Friday-Saturday, working at my side-gig Sunday, pulling a regular work week Mon-Tues then driving to New York Wednesday night to see Mallory and Nicole on Thursday and just typing it all out I am exhausted and will I ever see my own bed again????
Congrats on your ability to know your limits! I hope CRJ tours at a more convenient time for you in the future.
Yeah, when I had to go part-time at work (and burn vacation time because I used all my sick leave getting a hysterectomy) thanks to chronic fatigue, I had to learn fast to know and respect my limits. I had to cancel someone coming to clean my house this afternoon because I knew I would need a nap after physical therapy. Ridiculous, but there it is!
Are the people in your life supportive of your limits? I’ve been going through a lot of health issues this year, and find that my partner (and sometimes even friends) quickly gets frustrated when I have to say ‘no’ to attending social functions. I end up saying ‘yes’ out of guilt, and then regretting it when I am too worn out to do the things I’m required to do (go to work/ school). I don’t want to let people down, but I also have to look out for myself, and I’ve found it so hard to negotiate 🙁
They are wonderfully supportive! More than I would have expected, really. I chased away all the needy assholes years ago. Good luck navigating your own way through that. I know it’s tough.
Thank you! I think there’s a steep learning curve – for myself and those in my life – when it comes to setting boundaries as related to illness. It gives me hope to know that you are surrounded by support and that it is possible <3
It’s quite a learning experience for everyone, ngl. If you ever need to talk about it or have specific questions, feel free to drop me a line: [email protected] (I think this is buried far enough in the thread that I’m okay posting it here).
You’re the kindest, thanks CleverManka! I might take you up on that – I don’t have many people to talk to about this who know what it’s like to be sick.
No sarcasm, but I wish I were in that spot. I decided to take better care of myself after a nasty bout of pneumonia this fall and then I just… fell off the self-care wagon. And I know I’m only hurting myself and can only run so far before I’m over the edge but taking time to stop is just so scary!
I know. But trust me, adrenal fatigue is Not Your Friend and the edge really really sucks. PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES! Put self-care in your planner if you need to. There will be so many things you’ll miss out on later if you run yourself into the ground now. Once your body finally falls into it, chronic fatigue is a difficult pit to climb out of and some people never can.
Good morning! Is this where I can share my belief (and I mean this 100% as a compliment) that Carly Rae Jepsen is the real-life version of Robin Sparkles from How I Met Your Mother, if she grew up and went on to success in America? Just saying.
I’m a clueless white southerner and had no idea the sweet vs. savory cornbread divide was a racial divide. I really need to learn more food history. (My family on both sides comes from the north, so I never got home-cooked Southern food and thus never developed strong opinions about the presence of sugar in cornbread, Western vs. Eastern-style barbecue, etc.)
I’m in exactly the same boat- family from the North, so no home-cooked Southern food and no real understanding of the history. So fascinating!
(I will say though that I have strong feelings about not using sugar in cornbread because it just tastes better to me. Even better if it also has cheese and jalapenos in it!)
I’m a white (for what it’s worth) southerner with family going back a few generations here. Like you, I wasn’t aware of this divide. I’ve eaten both versions happily all my life. Will say that Jiffy is too sweet. Let’s just be glad that all southerners can get behind one culinary rule for corn-based foodstuffs: never put sugar on your grits, only yankees would do that.
“Let’s just be glad that all southerners can get behind one culinary rule for corn-based foodstuffs: never put sugar on your grits, only yankees would do that.”
THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sugar goes in oatmeal and cream of wheat. Butter and cheese goes in grits. End. Of. Conversation.
Polenta is good with honey and ginger though.
Yes, true. I love sweet polenta. And sweet corn ‘pudding’.
Grits seem to be the exception, to the point where imagining it sweet kinda grosses me out a little? Humans are weird.
Oh I agree. I find it sorta funny that there’s lots of corn products where I’m all “make ot sweet” except for grits and corn on the cob.
YES
embarrassingly, my first POS college bf introduced me to eating grits by putting sugar on them and it wasnt until much later I realized how BLASPHEMOUS AND WRONG it was. That was my 1st sign! And I missed it completely.
Red flags. Sometimes we can’t recognise them. You have moved on from that. Be well.
Wait, people put sugar in their grits?! Who would do that?
I have…it makes it a lot like cream of wheat…
Sorry?
On as sprinkle sugar upon like a breakfast porridge or cream of wheat. The very horror of anyone actually cooking grits with sugar in them is beyond my imagination.
This is also (terrible) news to me, as a person who has been eating grits my whole life.
My okie grandpa taught me to eat grits with brown sugar sprinkled on top. I have been led astray. I beg forgiveness on the basis that everybody knows that Oklahoma is a little weird sometimes.
It’s the only way I can choke them down. If it makes you feel better, I very rarely eat them at all…
Cheese grits if you need an introduction.
Nope. Totally gross. Sorry.
Yes! I was so happy that someone said that in the comments – mocking the foolishness of putting sugar on grits = a bridge over troubled water.
WRONG. Northerners don’t eat grits! Many don’t even recognize them when they see them. Because they’re disgusting.
I too, had no idea that there was a cornbread racial divide. My family is from Alabama, and I grew up mostly in the south (though I’ve been a Yinzer for the past 20 years now) and I thought sweet vs savory corn bread was just determined by personal preference and/or what you were pairing it with. Like, savory chili calls for a sweet corn bread, but sweet honey bbq calls for a savory one? I had no idea how strongly people felt about it and how important it is to their identity!
Me too! My southern family has always done sweet cornbread. I don’t like the savory one as much but that is more because I don’t like the thick crust that usually goes with it.
Yeah, I’m a white northerner and I didn’t know that savory cornbread existed until, like, last year when a white southern friend introduced me to it. She also insisted savory cornbread was the only “real” cornbread.
Yeah, I grew up in Alabama, and I wasn’t aware of there being a divide beyond personal preference. We always made ours with cornmeal, water, and salt, and my dad fries it in a hushpuppy-ish shape. I like sweet cornbread, but mostly just on its own or functioning like a roll for the meal. I prefer savory with soups and chili, though.
I can’t weigh in on Southern cornbread, but my German great-grandmother’s cornbread recipe includes both sugar and sour cream (and it is gooooood). Anyone else had cornbread like this? I’m wondering if it’s German, or upper Midwest (she lived in northern WI), or what.
I’m a northerner, and my recipe includes brown sugar and buttermilk, so probably similar outcome to the sour cream?
There’s buttermilk in her recipe too! (Her name was Irmgard Schmidt, gotta give the women before their names.)
Does it also include a can of creamed corn? That’s classic Midwestern potluck fare. Also not quite “cornbread,” in the traditional sense.
*shudders* thankfully, no!
I encountered the cake-y kind earlier this week. I had no idea about all of this at all. I’m still mystified and a bit culture shocked.
I didn’t know it was a racial divide either. I’m from Tennessee, my (white) family’s been in the mountains for generations, and the first time I encountered sweet cornbread (aside from a very misguided batch of corn muffins my dad made from a packet once) was in Pennsylvania. It seemed a pretty reasonable assumption to me that sweet cornbread was a northern thing.
This may explain the acquaintance from the suburbs of DC who only ate sweet cornbread. It baffled me when she said so, but if the divide isn’t as geographically oriented as I thought, that makes sense.
And I really, really hate sweet cornbread. Lightly sweetened is one thing, but I pretty much only eat cornbread with soup beans and the thought of putting sweet cornbread with those is just gross.
My family is all from areas in Missouri that were integrated, so my norm (as a white Texan) has always been un-sugared cornbread.
Cornbread, I will go so far as to state, is only properly made with white cornmeal, in an iron skillet with enough bacon grease melted in it to partially fry the batter when it goes in, and with buttermilk. It should be eaten immediately.
Leftovers, if you’re weird enough to have them, are best reheated wrapped in foil and doused with immense amounts of butter. You can eat reheated cornbread with Steen’s, or molasses, but not fresh cornbread.
Steen’s. How few of us understand cane syrup. In the yellow can as it should be. My father would not eat any other syrup. When I fled my home and overstayed my invitation in 2005, Abbeville welcomed me and I smelled sugar time there.
I’m white and originally from the south as well and had no idea about the racial context either! I grew up with the Jiffy mix plus the “secret family recipe” of melting bacon grease in the cast iron skillet in the oven while you mixed up the batter (sometimes with corn kernels added). You add the melted grease to the batter, mix it up, and then bake it all in the hot greased skillet. It gives a really nice crust and savouriness to the resulting cornbread (which is still a bit sweet due to the fact that it’s Jiffy). It’s one of the first foods I request whenever I’m back visiting my parents; I’ve never found any other cornbread recipe that really compares.
Welp, skimming through the other cornbread comments and realising that my grandma was wrong about the “secret family recipe” – I’m glad to see the bacon grease contingent is represented here! I would also like to put forward that though the bacon grease style holds a place in my heart, I am an equal opportunity cornbread enthusiast and will accept any and all cornbread offerings as they happen. (Especially as I’m now living in Germany, and while the bread is GREAT, there is a distinct lack of cornbread)
My white (well, Latina, but that’s a whole other discussion right there) Texan mom always makes cornbread in the skillet, but I don’t remember it being particularly sweet.
I’m going to make myself the target of universal derision and confess that the best damn cornbread I ever had is made by my friend’s husband and is on the sweet side, but also features whole corn and green chiles and possibly cheese? and damnnnn I’m getting hungry.
Dude synchronized swimming story!! My pops, who was a semi-pro football player in the seventies, said that his high school football coach used to make the whole team attend practice with the synchronized swimmers in the off-season. He said that Coach told them they’d rethink their status as the tough-guy standard bearers after a few rounds in the pool with the swim team.
He’s retired now, but still swims almost every day, and loves to surprise other pool-goers by being the three-hundred pound guy doing a graceful side swan-dive into the pool followed by a couple of pointy-toe leg moves.
That is… fantastic.
What a great image!
Props to your pops, that is wonderful.
(also to his coach, who was profoundly wise)
That cornbread article is amazing and awesome. I am from the Midwest and my cornbread has sugar and I never thought twice about it until reading cooking blogs where any mention of cornbread is a comment FIRESTORM. For sure there will be a ton of comments a la “gross! Real cornbread doesn’t have sugar!” To “it isn’t real cornbread if you don’t bake it in a cast iron skillet with bacon fat” to “it isn’t real cornbread if you don’t use this brand of cornmeal” and I am 100% not surprised to learn that there is a hefty helping of racial bias all up in there. When does food not have all kinds of class and racial subtext?
As a white, life-long Virginia resident, I have only had (at least slightly) sweet cornbread. I really did not know this was a thing! If you had asked me, I would have said Southern cornbread in general is sweet. Cracker Barrel’s certainly is. Other places I’ve been to as well. This surprised me.
Add in (like what the article said) the fact that people generally feel VERY strongly that whatever version of ______ they grew up eating is THE version of it, and yeah, fierce debate in the comments.
I am from the South and always liked both kinds of cornbread. Now I stifle anyone’s attempt at starting something with me about it by telling them I’m allergic to corn and can’t have either kind. They don’t usually know where to go from there.
I am from the Midwest and I sort of thought that Jiffy corn bread was the only kind. What a world.
Same here.
I am so bummed I didn’t know about that cryptozoology conference before now, because wandering among the true believers of cryptids is my very specific jam.
Right? Next time.
(I’m skipping some sessions of the conference I’m attending this weekend to visit a cryptozoology museum because it seems like a way better use of my time. I’m a professional)
Oooo, details about this museum?
There’s a cryptozoology museum in Portland, Maine! It’s amazing and they take themselves very seriously.
Yeah, the one in Portland, ME. I’m hearing their archivist speak at my conference, and then checking out the goods!
If you don’t already know about it, Fortean Times magazine has extensive, ongoing coverage of cryptozoological matters (and all other kinds of weird stuff).
As a former synchronized swimmer who has gotten into too many arguments with assholes about the true definition of ‘sport’ and why synchronized swimming is therefore not actually a sport (nevermind that ALL score-based Olympic sports wouldn’t be sports, according to this definition), I just want to say that synchronized swimming is a sport in the US too.
Also, I totally remember Bill May (Billy May when I was a kid) from competitions. I can’t believe he is still competing! He was older than me when I was a swimmer.
Hey horse rider over here; we constantly the ‘it isn’t a real sport’ crap thrown at us.
To me any phsycical activity with a competitive element (whether you participate in it or not) is sport.
“But the horse does all the work!!”
YEAH OK GO AHEAD AND RIDE FOR EVEN TEN MINUTES WITHOUT FALLING OFF, YA JABRONI. Sheesh.
‘But it doesn’t even look like you’re doing anything’
THAT IS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT.
Fun fact: formula one drivers are some of them fittest athletes in the world and all they do is sit in a car right?
Ffs, the whole point of dressage is to convey the impression that you are communicating telepathically with your partner horse. Which is so so hard to do.
So as someone who knows jack shit about car racing, why do formula one drivers need to be fit? It always seemed like a taxing occupation, but not one that required physical strength in the way that I generally think of sports requiring strength.
Iirc, it has to do with being able to wrench the car around (no power steering) and withstanding the physical strain of the G forces.
Tbh I have no idea, I was told its becuase of the g force and I imagine you need a lot of stamina mental and physical, to drive a twitchy car at high speed for a long time (while wearing a fire proof suit!). And they can’t carry much water becuase of the weight and no time for more breaks
As a former swim team kid who was constantly told by other kids that my sport wasn’t “real” because “there’s NO BALL,” I feel ya, synchros. Synchronized swimming – much like ballet or rhythmic dance – may get maligned as being merely “pretty” but it is athletic as hell!
I’m fine with having synchronized swimming be a sport, my quibble is with “solo” synchronized swimming, which was an event at the last Olympics. How can you be synchronizing with anyone when you are the only one in the pool?
Hilariously, I had a friend who used to argue that sports with balls were not true sports but “games.” He was also a swimmer.
Please enjoy this story about the possibility of having police cats: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-3593420…
The police officer wrote back and included a picture he drew of his cat? Perfect and adorable.
Oh man oh MAN did I need that little bit of joy today. Thank you.
That brightened my day considerably!! <3
Everyone in that story seems like a wonderful person (and cat). Thanks–needed something like this today.
Ok but…that cat drawing has penis-feet, right?
The cornbread article has made me nostalgic for the cornbread of my youth, which did not come from a mother or grandmother, but from a school cafeteria. I grew up in San Antonio, and the highlight of every school week was “Enchilada Wednesday,” when the cafeteria served cheesy, saucy enchiladas with soft, sweet cornbread. It was the only day when the lunch line stretched to the door.
Either we went to the same school, or every school in San Antonio does Enchilada Wednesday.
I certainly hope this is wider phenomena, as it is Wonderful.
Every school in town did Enchilada Wednesday, can confirm
that sounds adorable & delicious
Same! The cornbread of my youth was school cafeteria cornbread, which I have never seen replicated anywhere else. It was sweet and had a weird dark brown skin on the top that you could peel off and I loved it so much. Oddly, my dad, despite being born in Kentucky to a very southern mother, was apparently fed enough cornbread, buttermilk and sassafras tea as a child to instill in him a lifelong hatred of all three.
I’m currently working with an organization that offers coding classes for kids at Title I schools, entrepreneurial support and education for low income individulas and established businesses. To read that storify the morning after I had two funders say no because they don’t think our projects have direct impact? It relit the fire under my ass and reminded me why providing theses skills and building this community has really, necessary value. I made my donation to the CodeStart school!
Everyone saw that awesome women from the US Women’s Soccer Team are suing for wage discrimination?
“A men’s player, for example, receives $5,000 for a loss in a friendly match but as much as $17,625 for a win against a top opponent. A women’s player receives $1,350 for a similar match, but only if the United States wins; women’s players get no bonuses for losses or ties. Yet the women point to the television ratings for their matches and the crowds they draw as evidence that the disparity in federation pay is unfair.
The men and the women “have identical work requirements,” Kessler said. “The same number of minimum friendlies, the same requirements about participating and making the World Cup teams — identical work. “But the women,” he said, “have without dispute vastly outperformed the men not just on the playing field but economically for the U.S.S.F. The women have generated all the money in comparison with the men.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/01/sports/soccer/u…
WHAT
I just read this to my students and one of my boys interrupted me halfway through and said, indignantly, “But the women’s team is WAY better than the stupid men’s team!” and I was so proud.
You are a very fine teacher.
about fucking goddamn time
**seething**
I haven’t even read the article yet and I’m already infuriated.
I’m excited about this. The article I read hypothesized about a work stoppage, which would be really interesting in an Olympic year.
But basically, it’s about damn time.
This is also a good link explaining the institutional discrimination that has lead to the inequality within USSF and FIFA. Warning, it is long and infuriating.
Because just the first snippet she posted wasn’t infuriating enough. GAH.
Right? Then again the only two reactions FIFA elicits from me are 1. UGH/GAH and 2. slightly horrified amusement at their corruption/incompetence, followed by a sigh
This is a stone-cold bummer, you guys: http://kotaku.com/nintendo-employee-terminated-af…
Nintendo employee Alison Rapp, who’s been a target of harassment over censorship controversies in recent months, said on Twitter that she has been fired. “Today, the decision was made,” she wrote. “I am no longer a good, safe representative of Nintendo, and my employment has been terminated.”
If you haven’t been following it, Rapp is the target of an intense neo-Nazi/GG-led campaign to get her fired, apparently because they think that she desexualizes Japanese video games while localizing them for American audiences (which is not her job). They won this round.
Yeah, that whole thing is awful. And that they dug up her college paper and accused her of supporting pedophilia (which she didn’t)? Heaven forbid I get called out on something I wrote in college, especially since sometimes we wrote on topics we didn’t necessarily agree with. And also because I was pretty conservative* in college.
(Though I did get labeled as “that super liberal girl” in one of my seminar classes because I said the book “Blacks in the West” should have been called “Black Men in the West” because of the serious lack of women in it. I stand by that. That was probably the start of my realizing I wasn’t that conservative after all.)
Anyway, point is, what happened to Rapp was ridiculous and awful.
I’m so mad about this. Mad at Nintendo for giving in, mad at the giant man babies involved in gamer gate for being so furious about a woman working for a game company that they would do whatever they could to get her fired, and mad that traditionally “male” entertainment industries (especially video games and sports) are apparently content to pretend for the rest of eternity that women don’t exist, and women don’t like their product, and the points of view and opinions of women WHO GIVE THEM MONEY don’t matter.
On a related note, the other day our IT guy was doing something in my area and told my coworker that he had been arguing online all day about I think something tangentially related to this- I guess whether Nintendo was giving into “censorship” by removing a boob animation from one of their games or something. And I piped up and said that that’s ridiculous because companies can’t censor themselves, and he was like YES! I’M GOING TO GO TELL EVERYBODY ONLINE THAT SOURWATERMELONS AGREES WITH ME! (he said my real name tho). So not to be all #notallmen but that interaction gave me at least a little bit of faith that at least one dude spends his time arguing for rationality in these “debates”.
It says something about my morning that the idea of shouting SOURWATERMELONS AGREES WITH ME! randomly in public (or at work) has me very amused.
I mean I’m really glad he didn’t actually say “sourwatermelons” because that would mean he knows a little too much about me, but agreed.
It’s at least two dudes, because my office IT guy is the same way (except he argues mostly against the Sad Puppies debacle from last year’s Hugos, and also sexism in comics). I know there’s a fine line between an ally and a white knight, but it’s still refreshing to hear men in geek culture calling out sexism in geek culture.
I’m female. I’ve worked in the tech sector for almost 20 years and in video games for 7 or so (including at Nintendo of America, though not in Treehouse). And this shit is why I’m quitting in two weeks and getting the hell out of anything to do with computers, forever. I just can’t anymore.
I wish Alison all the strength and peace in the world.
Gamers, especially the dudebros, can be a particularly unenlightened, difficult audience to produce content for as a group. I can understand why you would be burned out. The recent Overwatch kerfluffle comes to mind.
As a former avid gamer, I want to say thank you for sticking it out as long as you did and being a voice for those of use who love gaming and just want to be able to participate without being under threat and pushed out constantly.
Thank you for your kind words! I’ve done my best to advocate for diversity, other perspectives, progressive causes–all that good stuff that any industry needs, let alone this one–both inside my companies and out there in public. I once swore I’d never let the assholes drive me out, but here we are. My health comes first. I’ll just find other places to fight those battles.
That makes me SO ANGRY.
BURN FANDOM TO THE GROUND.
I’ve tried to soften and justify that statement but the time for softness and justification is so far past when things like this are continuing to happen.
I AM HERE TO DISCUSS CORN BREAD. I didn’t know there was a racial divide? But I also come from black southern people and didnt know non-sweet cornbread existed until i saw something on the Food Network like 5 yrs ago. That just seems wrong! Cornbread should be made with a dash of brown sugar or maybe a dribble of dark honey. And eaten hot with room temp butter melting all over it…. My only savory-cornbread compromise is nonsweet cornbread with cheddar cheese and jalapeno (although I made it for my bf one time and he was INCISED there was no honey in it and he eats EVERYTHING).
See, I am a white girl from the north and that is EXACTLY how I like cornbread: a dash of sugar or honey only, and positively dripping with salted butter.
its the truth & the only way
Maybe has something to do with my Lousianan grandmother, tough to say, but now I am HONGRY
My mouth is now a river of saliva.
*incensed = cornbread rage supersedes the English language
truly, though, somehow incised just felt right. <3
Get those teeth in there!
My (white) mother’s recipe is sugared and made in a pie pan and iirc the index card I have at home says “Yankee cornbread”, but I don’t know if that is a general regional adjective or if it’s a recipe from Yankee magazine. I didn’t know it wasn’t usual.
My mom’s is not-sweet and and she calls the sweet kind (my preference) Yankee cornbread. I just shrug and say “guess I’m a Yankee, then”. Which we are, btw. White Yankees. (But her dad was from Texas so maybe that’s where she got the not-sweet version?)
I’m a white Southerner and I agree 100%, cornbread without honey is trash.
ditto. eating sweet cornbread in my lunch chili now.
As a white northerner, I wholeheartedly endorse this message (except I’d vote molasses/brown sugar instead of honey, but I think we can still find common ground).
And also now I really want cornbread.
Cornbread with jalapeño and cheddar cheese is everything
My hot take: the only bad cornbread is dry cornbread. And if you didn’t make it with buttermilk, well bless your heart.
I can’t remember if my (upper Midwestern) mom’s cornbread has sugar in it, but the only way to eat it is obviously cut in half, covered with butter and honey.
White girl who grew up in the South (but hates identifying as a Southerner/Texan) agrees with the sweet recipe you describe! And savory cornbread is totally foreign to me, except I guess the jalapeno/cheddar variety, but I never cared for it.
Have you tried hot cornbread with melted salted butter and Steen’s Syrup?
Food of the Gods. With enough of it, there would be no wars.
Interesting. I also come from black southern people, and I’d say it depends. Most of the time, my grandmas just make hot water corn bread in a skillet: cornmeal+hot water+bacon grease. It’s delicious mashed up in a bowl of black eye peas or greens or whatever. For the more southern of my grandmas, this is the only way she makes cornbread. With my other grandma, for Christmas or Thanksgiving or a more formal occasion, she’ll make a sweeter, more cake like cornbread.
I’ve never heard them (or anyone in my family) express a strong allegiance to a certain variety of cornbread (though one time my grandma was not happy with a batch she made that she felt was too sweet and cakey). I personally think both have their place. I really like my cornbread to have a crunchy exterior (as though you’ve added the batter to a hot pan containing a touch of bacon grease), especially when I’me eating something juicy. If I’m just eating a piece of cornbread, I like it to be a bit more on the sweet/cakey side (though still crunchy). Wow, that’s a lot of feelings about cornbread!
I am a northerner who grew up with Jiffy boxed cornbread, and the idea of brown sugar in cornbread is so tempting I may have to make some this weekend…mmm
I’m a white Southerner and, until this article, I didn’t realize that not-sweet cornbread was intentional. Like, I’ve had it before, but I always thought it was just the result of whoever made it being bad at cornbread.
Players from the USWNT have filed a complaint against US Soccer! https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp…
They have been paid crazy less than the men’s team as recent articles have pointed out and I am so proud of them for asking to be paid what they’re worth.
The best thing about that filing is that nobody bothered specifying the men’s bonuses for a potential World Cup victory tour.
edit: the best thing about the filing document specifically. the best thing about the fact they’re filing, of course, is the hope they’ll get paid.
OT (in case I miss tomorrow): Toronto Toasties are having a meetup this Saturday at 5. Details are in the Toast of Toronto group :https://www.facebook.com/groups/778422305518416/
Join the group! Join us!
join usssssss
Time for beer and puppy photos!
I want to come but I have an event on Saturday! But next time, for sure.
ACK Toasts, this is OT but I can’t wait for Open Thread, even though I’ll probably post again there: my husband got a job offer. It’s basically his dream job. He’d be doing exactly what he’s wanted to do for years, what he’s been expensively trained for, and he’d be making more money than he does now.
The job is in Las Vegas.
I’ve only been to Vegas once and I hated it. Like it made me feel physically sick. We’d be living in the suburbs, but … has anyone ever lived in Las Vegas? Does anyone live there now? How do I do this with children? Will it ruin them permanently? Help.
I dont think Vegas is that bad! You wont be living on “the strip” which gives me anxiety / sadness after any more than 36 hrs, and houses are affordable. I dont know details on schools and things, but I honestly think they’ll be fine. This is exciting!
It IS exciting but also very nerve-wracking! I like change; this is a big change. I appreciate the encouragement!
My aunt and uncle have lived in Vegas for years and they love it. Outside of the Strip it’s a normal city, and while a lot of people work in the entertainment or casino industry and slot machines are in a lot of weird places, it’s not a soul-destroying hellscape or anything.
But… but it’s where the bad guys go in The Stand!
My parents have visited out there several times and have commented on their having one of the nicest-looking Catholic churches they’ve ever seen in some neighbourhood. So clearly there is a lot of world beyond the Strip.
Charisma Carpenter grew up there, and it didn’t hold her back from portraying the wonderful Cordelia Chase!
Well, being surrounded by kids named Charisma can’t be worse than being surrounded by kids named Percival and Winifred, right?
(JK I love those names, I am no better than my bubble.)
I have no interest in tourist-Vegas, I only visit for weddings and library conferences. Lots of people live in Las Vegas, lots of families live in Las Vegas, the children are fine, housing etc. is more affordable than most major cities, you never have to go near the strip if you hate it. Just be prepared to drive a lot. A looootttt.
I haven’t spent much time in Vegas, but I am a native of the Southwest, so I gotta vouch for the incredible scenic beauty and the outdoorsy opportunities (sunny winter hikes!), if that’s your thing.
Yeah my husband’s from Utah and is really stoked about the scenery. I’m more of a wooded vale type, but, hey, that’s why they invented hats and sunscreen I guess.
I used to work with an organization that was based in Henderson (its just South of Vegas) It was the same as any other large desert city from what I observed. The strip is a nightmare hellscape and I hated having to stay there when we had events in Las Vegas but the surrounding non strip areas were fine!
I have a sibling who’s lived in Vegas for many years as a teacher, and my dad is now retired there. They both like it a lot. The suburban areas are basically like any other suburb, and there’s lots of awesome hiking and parks around. Very pretty and nice weather. It’s really easy to avoid the Strip if you hate it. Fear not!
Stock up on chapstick and lotion. I have family in the area and I feel dry and itchy just thinking of visiting them.
My brother, his wife, and my sister all live in Vegas, they have theater-related jobs. I can get you the dirt on where the good neighborhoods and schools are (there is a weird suburb/gated suburb subculture in Vegas that’s more unusual than most). Vegas is totally livable, there used to be at least one bar that didn’t have a gambling machine in it, and you are right by a national treasure, Red Rocks.
Yes yes yes! I want all the dirt!
I don’t have a good non-revealing email address to post here; let me quickly invent one and get back to you (unless you do).
nope, but it’s fine.
cory
coakley
AT
hotmail
Here is brother’s reply:
I have literally no idea on what schools are good or not. It’s kind of a crap shoot. The best options are Henderson (southeast) or Summerlin (northwest). Summerlin is probably better than Henderson. But even then, neighborhoods within those communities are different, so … Yeah.
In terms of papers, there’s only 1: the Review-Journal. They don’t publish a police blotter. BUT there’s a weekly (?) paper that just gets delivered to everyone’s house, printed by the RJ, and is more local to your zip code. Maybe it’s every other week. In any event, it does have the police blotter. It’s mainly a vehicle for ads, but it does have the blotter. (It’s called the View, you can see the types of articles it runs online at http://www.reviewjournal.com/view) I couldn’t find the blotter online, but maybe it’s there.
A great way (at least in my mind) to check out a neighborhood is to drive through in the evening, and check out street parking. Why? Because if there are a lot of cars parked on driveways and in streets, that means that there are a lot of people living in the houses. This means, generally, that the income in the neighborhood isn’t as good, because so many people have to live to a house. It’s not scientific, but it’s something I look at now.
I can’t speak for all of Nevada but my husband and I stopped in a grocery store on a road trip in Henderson, NV and there were slot machines in the entrance, but other than that it was normal suburbia. Also the airport is full of slot machines. It was odd.
This is pretty standard for Reno, too, so it is probably a NV thing in general. (Have never been to LV but my family is in Reno.) Also, video poker machines at bars. Like the bar surface is made up of video poker machines.
I worked in the NY office of a theatre company that also had an office in Las Vegas, and many of the NY employees (especially those with children) chose to move to Vegas because of the better living situation. I’m still friends with most of them and they love it. From what I can tell (having visited 7 times in one year, one of those for 6 weeks), it would be pretty pleasant to live in suburban Vegas and pretty fun to live downtown. Houses are cheap, cost of living is cheap, weather is great, etc. Downtown is cute and fun, if a little weird, and Red Rock Canyon is drop-dead gorgeous for hiking. Just don’t spend any time on the strip and you’ll be fine.
Also, the thing that drove me the most crazy while there for an extended period: the TRAFFIC LIGHTS take FOREVER.
I am just about to hit my eight year anniversary in Las Vegas! I thought I was going to be here for six months, but clearly stayed for a lot longer. I have a pretty awesome life here, one that I probably would not have had back in Boston. It is totally a weird city, but not in a bad way. You can go for months, if not years, without going to a casino.
If you want to talk about it, I’m allenem at the google mails.
Not gonna lie, I hate the desert. That said, I have a couple of friends who moved to Vegas and have visited them on multiple occasions and had a lovely, non-casino time. It really feels like any other random American city once you are off the Strip and especially in the suburbs.
If there are specific cultural elements that you worry about specific to child-rearing, maybe do some pre-preemptive planning to counteract them. I am sure you will be fine! Still, it’s your life, too, and if his dream job is at the cost of your happiness, then it is worth exploring options.
Oh no. I am disappointed. I love the desert. But I like you anyway, desert heresy notwithstanding.
It’s having lived in LA too long. But if you feel the need for company on a vision quest in somewhere like Arizona, I’ll still go. 😀
I can’t watch westerns on TV, because all that desert and dust and sun makes feel like I’m going to die of dehydration.
I’ve never lived there personally, but my ex partner and many of our friends grew up there and I have to say, they are some of the funniest and most self aware folks I’ve ever met. Like moreso than anyone I’ve met from other locales, which is strange but great! Also, no one who lives in Vegas spends any amount of time on the Strip, I promise.
Today is my birthday! I’ve already eaten a breakfast muffin with a hard-boiled quail egg in the middle and gotten cute pics of both Ganache and Peaches. Plus it’s pouring so I’m dressed like a sexy fisherman. A+ start to the day!
Happy birthday! Please continue to eat delicious things throughout the day.
Happy birthday! Ganache is my new favorite. <3
Happy birthday! Mine was yesterday, what a great week to be born! 🙂
Happy day after your birthday! I hope yours was great!
happppppy birthday!
Happy Birthday! Singing it in my head and pronouncing your u/n “smert” is making me laugh.
What an awesome morning! Happy birthday!
*confetti*
!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy birthday, you sexy fisherman!
(Also, do not google “sexy fisherman” in hopes of amusing images or gifs to share. It’s not good. This knowledge is my birthday gift to you.)
Happy birthday!!
In case you were wondering if that Observer guy is a huge jackass all the time, here’s an “interview” where he asks Robert Crumb about his favorite sexual positions (Crumb has a lot to say about the asshole)
His Twitter response (!!!!!!), if indeed it is him: https://twitter.com/jacques_hyzagi
His face… I just want to punch it.
That is a backpfeifengesicht for damn sure.
did he JOIN TWITTER solely to do this?!?!
I tried to make sense of his tweets and I ended up feeling disoriented and vaguely angry. Which is how I imagine him going through life.
oooooooohhhh my god
Thank you for sharing the pitching article! Writing a good pitch feels impossible to me most of the time.
White Southerner here, had no idea there was a racial divide on the cornbread. I always thought I was a failure because I like sweet cornbread despite how unsweet cornbread was seen as “more authentic” in my family. F that, turns out it’s just as authentic and it tastes better.
Something that was linked in the bottom of that Elle piece:
http://observer.com/2015/07/im-a-millennial-and-i…
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Goddamn, life is hard for snowflakes.
oh gosh I want to make fun of this so badly but there’s too many targets to choose from, my mind is overloaded
At the end it says his “book” is called Trust Me, I’m Lying. All I needed to know!
Maybe he should go join the Victorians.
GAHHHH. The phone pitches!! The woorrrrssst!! And so often, the caller gets indignant! I’ve been scolded more by strangers pitching their work to me on the phone for simply directing them to email that in any other circumstance. What makes people think yelling at me is the best way for me to consider their work?!
Also, “presenting a story as something you’re dying to write, rather than as something our reader would be dying to read” is really good advice. Publishing is about the reader, getting books or articles to an audience. It’s a good thing to be conscientious of.
For some reasons there’s still a strain of older PR pros who insist on calling journalists or making their underlings call journalists despite all the journalists and younger PRs fucking hating it.
And recruiters insist on calling before emailing and it drives me nuts. I’m so tempted to change my voicemail message to ‘I don’t listen to voicemails or answer my phone in the office fucking email me you dinosaur.’
Argh people who transmit important information by voicemail are the bane of my life! Why are they so perverse?? It’s like insisting on still using a fax machine. This is why I refuse to enable voicemail on my phone, no matter what people (my parents) say. If it’s an emergency you’ll get hold of me quicker just about ANY other way.
I got an email earlier that said ‘did you get my VM…’ And it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out wtf she meant by VM. It was voicemail. These bloody account managers just love calling me and leaving voicemails. I work in digital, I didn’t even know how my desk phone worked for a good six months, EMAIL ME.
SERIOUSLY. I got woken up this worming after sitting vigil a good chunk of the night with my dying grandmother by someone who LEFT A MESSAGE yesterday that was never answered that he would be coming by for an inspection. That included setting off all the smoke detectors. And then mansplained to me about all the problems with the house I am renting which I have already contacted the management company regarding, and how I need to get lawn care in (they were here two days ago), and need to change out some of the lightbulbs, all the while tracking mud and leaves into my house.
Seriously??? You woke me up, woke my baby up, because you decided an unanswered phone call was sufficient notice to come over and scold me about lightbulbs and the landscaping? Eat glass.
Can you complain to his supervisors about that? Letting yourself into someone’s place without their approval sounds like trespassing to me.
The lease states that we have to permit two physical inspections of the property per year. Both times, he’s just dropped by and said he left a message, but never waited on a return call or permission. And when I pushed back the last time, he threatened me with a fine.
I’ll be chatting with the management company. They want us to sign a two year extension. I am fine with inspections, and feel it is to our benefit to illustrate our care of the property, but a voicemail is not a damn appointment. Especially if it doesn’t seem to exist. We suggested directly that he needed to email or send physical mail in the future and we’d get in touch with him to schedule for everyone’s convenience.
it doesn’t help that he is such a jerk once he is here. He actually stood on my desk after tromping around outside so he could reach the smoke detector. He directly stood on one of the baby’s toys while checking another. I mean, really?? Come ON. Unprofessional and rude.
UGHHHHH, what a jerk. Hopefully he has some supervisor who will take complaints seriously- that’s completely unprofessional behavior.
“worming” – as a non-morning person, I <3 this typo.
Yesterday I emailed some information to a client (he had emailed the request to me first) and my boss asked if I called him to let him know I had emailed it and make sure he was able to get the email. Fortunately the client had already responded to my email so I didn’t have to call.
The cornbread article has left me with many feels. Years ago when I was dating a southern man, we drove to the North Carolina mountains to spend a weekend with his sister, whom I’d never met. Eager to make a good impression, I baked a pan of cornbread as a gift. It was my favorite recipe, from The Silver Palate, sweet and delicious. My boyfriend sneered and told me his family would never eat it–”That’s cake, not cornbread.” I was so ashamed I left the pan in the car for 3 hot summer days, and threw out the moldy ruined “gift” when we got home. That was so many years ago now, and it still makes me sad.
I hate your ex-boyfriend, and if someone had brought food to my house I would have adored them.
I dumped him and kept his sister as a friend 🙂 (I’ve since told her the story and she was appalled.)
Good for her! I mean, at worst, it would have given them something to gently tease you about – families love that!
I hope by “moldy ruined ‘gift'” you mean you threw out sneering boyfriend when you got home, because what a jackass. I’m so sorry!
Next time I hear someone say (thank heaven no one says this near me) some schmo is God’s gift, I can think “Yes, Carl, you are God’s [moldy, ruined] gift to women — moldy, ruined, ungrateful, anti-yum not-gift, that’s you.” Thank you for this, aqueousmedium.
‘He spoke confidently about Dog-Man, a creature I had never heard of, but there was a blurry slide of a furred thing. The man—a cryptozoologist—told the crowd that Dog-Man must be a carnivore because “an animal that size is gonna need meat.”’
Um. Elephants are herbivores. Biggest land animal in current existence.
Seriously! Carnivores just don’t get as large as herbivores. There’s not as much to eat, and if you’re hunting, it helps to be fast. The largest land carnivore, polar bears, aren’t even as big as your run-of-the-mill cow.
I guess blue whales eat krill, which is technically on the meat side of the meat/veg divide, but I’m not sure if the guy would be thrilled to find out that Dog-Man ate ants and worms.
Aren’t most of the really, really large land animals herbivores? Like rhinos and cows and such.
I am reminded of the glorious time I convinced my dad to come to Star Wars with me. He (a dairy farmer by upbringing) was apalled at whoever decided something the size of a bantha would live in a desert, pointing out the size and horns as evidence they’re probably plant-eaters. (He is not into sci-fi, but he’s so fun to watch movies with.)
“The man—a cryptozoologist—told the crowd that Dog-Man must be a carnivore because “an animal that size is gonna need meat.”’ ”
And usually cryptozoologists are known for their incisive reasoning! What gives!
Now I can’t help but picture an elephant standing behind the guy, politely tapping him on the shoulder, going, “Um, ahem…”
You’d think that the most obvious reason that something called Dog-Man eats meat would be because dogs are carnivores.
And many dogs are quite small, Nicole’s magnificent giant Sansa notwithstanding.
Now I’m imagining carnivorous elephants and AHHHH, that is terrifying (but would also serve poachers right, being chased down by a bloodthirsty elephant).
Also, a bunch of the giantest dinosaurs were herbivores.
Thoughts on the Tournament of Books result? I was really unfamiliar with The Sellout and this was interesting to read this morning. I have The Turner House waiting on my Kindle for me to get to it sometime, and I’ve heard very good things about it. Does anyone have opinions on The Sellout? http://www.themorningnews.org/tob/2016/championsh…
With the exception of THE SELLOUT–which is terrific, Paul Beatty is an amazing writer & I’m glad he’s getting the recognition he deserves with this book–all my other favorites on this list (Oreo & Story of My Teeth) lost their rounds. The fact that A Little Life could advance but neither of those did turned me off. I’m glad to see The Sellout pull through though.
Do you have a rec about which of his books I should try next? Tuff, Slumberland, and The White Boy Shuffle all sound really good/interesting!
I’ve been talking about The White Boy Shuffle for going on 10 years now (since I read it), and how it’s a great book and I couldn’t understand why more people weren’t crazy for this writer (The Sellout has turned a lot of people on, I think). TWBS is an uneven book–it’s a debut–but it reveals a lot about Beatty. I loved it. It’s smart and of its own. Beatty doesn’t feel bogged down by other writers in a way that I find really refreshing. He can be sentimental but not saccharine, or languid or fawning, funny without losing sight of the serious. His language is incredibly agile.
agreed, White Boy Shuffle is fantastic! It’s not exactly LIGHTER than the Sellout, but…more straightforward, maybe?
I thought The Sellout was great! Hard to read in places because: depressing, but really wickedly funny and also quite unexpectedly touching. I’ve said it previously that I think it’s one of the few books I’ve read that was described as “biting satire” where I thought that was actually an apt description.
Nifty, the only two books in the tournament I’ve read made it to the end! I agree with all the judges who are just like, “wtf, I have to choose between these two? You can’t compare them!” The Turner House was so easy to read, one where you’re mildly enjoying it and then realize you got to page 200 without looking up and now you care deeply about everyone in it. The Sellout might be the most difficult book I read last year; like, every page is DENSE with jokes and references and wordplay and absurdity, and on top of that the subject matter is disturbing. It’s relentless and demanding. It’s great but you need to be in the right frame of mind to sit down with it.
They were my two favorite books of the tournament! The Sellout is an intense experience; yes, it’s funny, and the punched-up comic prose is unbelievably dense with goodness, but it’s also sad and angry and despairing while being absurdly not-that-absurd. The Turner House is elegant and also funny and sad and my favorite of the two. But there are lots of ways to talk about racism and the accumulated weight of generations of racism in this country–which both these books do–and I’m glad for every bit of attention both these books receive.
ALSO re: results, Syreeta McFadden gets my undying respect for framing her judgment in Hamilton references.
re: Hamilton refs – me too, me too!
Admittedly, I have not read The Sellout but I was rooting for The Turner House so hard and am very sad.
I haven’t read The Sellout, but I’m sad that The Turner House didn’t win because I LOVE that book so hard! I feel like it’s really subtle, how beautifully she crafts all the characters and how strongly they resonant. Also, being from southeast Michigan originally, I was really really happy to see a book that treated Detroit so… realistically? Honestly? Like, no poverty porn, no hipster utopia (“you can buy a whole city block for $50!”), just, here is a real city where real people live with all the good and bad that goes with it.
I’m on the waiting list at the library for The Sellout.
Also, a very serious question: how do people feel about A Little Life? I haven’t read that one either, and at first, based on the commentary, I was thinking I would nope out. But the more I read about it, the more I have to admit that I’m intrigued. People seem to have such strong opinions about it either way..?
I wonder what people were saying about that Elle Kawakubo piece. Perhaps they were asking if commas cost extra? I tried reading it and found it one of the most awkwardly-written things I’ve ever attempted to slog through.
Arrg, I am a freelance writer and I have had it drilled into me from the beginning of my career never to pitch a topic, so I don’t. BUT editors constantly assign me topics. I know you’re busy, but practice what you preach, editors! (Not really mad, I’m grateful to have work, I will do everything I can to turn your topic into a story, but it’s nice to bitch about this anonymously.)
My favorite part of the Observer article is the pull quote “Everybody is sick and tired of fucking Anna Wintour” because it is the one instance in which the writer’s loose grasp of grammar and sentence structure made me laugh out loud.
It’s a good example of why with people, we typically give them the middle name Fucking, yup.
I had never thought about this before. Great concept to wake up to.
We studied that when I was a linguistics undergrad! (“Expletive infixation”).
oh god i didn’t even realise his original intention until just now because i thought that was his **radical** way of saying “suck up to” or
well you know
Possibly the most skilled writing he has ever done. I mean, if I wrote that on purpose I would be so proud of it.
Tangential to the cornbread article, but can we talk for a second about oatmeal and identity? I was raised in a family where oatmeal is only ever treated as a savory dish, served well salted with a pat of butter on top. I didn’t know anyone ate it sweetened until college. When I mentioned this to Brits (I’m American), they’d say “Oh your family must be Scottish” to which my answer was a firm “No, my family’s all from Yorkshire.”
That is, up until a few weeks ago when Austin posted a link on Twitter to a page that showed where certain surnames were most prevalent in the UK. The names in my family all came up as Yorkshire… except my maternal great-grandmother’s maiden name which was a solid block in western Scotland.
Salty porridge was introduced to me by a Scottish person and it blew my little child mind. I’ve never attempted it myself because I’m afraid I’ll screw it up.
Maybe it’s because I’m from a cold and wet country, but porridge is compleletly classless to me, everyone eats it in the winter.
I have never totally understood the salt in porridge thing. I was brought up to make porridge with water, milk and salt when I’m cooking it, but then add brown sugar and more milk to it in the bowl. My dad’s dad was Scottish but my dad’s mother was south English, and I’ve never worked out whether our porridge is Scottish or English or a terrible hybrid of the two!
That sounds like the basic, back-of-the-oats-package recipe here in America, whatever that’s worth.
That version of salt that you describe is a baking/grains technique, just like putting salt into cake or cookie batter. It is a flavor intensifier, and isn’t there to make the thing taste salty but to make all the tastes come out stronger.
Even if I’m making a sweet oatmeal with dried cherries and maple syrup (which is what I usually do), definitely want a small pinch of salt in there!
I decided that oatmeal was much tastier with butter and salt than with sugar at about age 12, and had no idea that wasn’t common for years.
I’m from the Northeast and generally think cornbread is gross (something everyone from every geographic local judges me for) but I love nothing more than my grandmothers Johnny Cake, which is like cornbread and you serve it in milk and honey. I haven’t had it in years, but it makes the best lunch.
Hate to break the news to you but johnny cake is a version of cornbread.
oh I know, hence the generally and but. It’s the big exception. Guess I wasn’t clear enough!
I went to the cryptozoology museum in Portland, Maine, (based on the suggestion of a Toastie), and it’s incredible how seriously they take themselves. For example, this photo and description in the bathroom.
Oh my God. Now I want to go.
Crytpozoology is such a strange field to me, because there’s a certain level of legitimacy to it. Okapis and coelacanths where considered cryptids for awhile, and now we know they are real! But then it also seems to take a very sharp turn towards the strange and conspiratorial.
God, the kind of outlook on the world it must take to write something like that about a kitschy painting! I don’t want to try to imagine what that must be like from the inside for too long, the fear of the unexplained is too much…
I just want to take so many self-proclaimed cryptozoologists aside and in the most gentle way possible tell them “Grasping for scientific rationalism like it’s the pope’s coattails will not ‘save you'”. (And given the second paragraph on that paper, I’d probably follow the polite version of that up with “Totally changing the subject, but have you read Jacques Vallee?”)
That is HILARIOUS. “Furthermore, we are not interested in mixing ufos with Bigfoot, and have not found there are grounds for thinking they are interrelated.”
brb, looking for some way to use this with no context whatsoever.
The Tournament of Hotties is still happening and the last set of polls for Round 1 just went up. I’m not going to be posting about it in the Link Roundup after this because I don’t want to spam but starting next week there should be new polls every day if you want to follow along! https://vgum.wordpress.com/tag/homeless-monsters-…
I just voted! Such interesting choices. I mean, Manganiello v Segel made me doubt, because should I pick the dude I most want to stare at or the one I most want to hang out with/cuddle with? I went for option 2, in the end. Cuddles are important.
Off topic, but what are everyone’s favourite (and most effective) cold remedies? Besides curling up with a sweater and a box of Kleenex and feeling sorry for yourself (which has been my main method of coping so far). My birthday is tomorrow and I really don’t want to be red-nosed and constantly blowing my nose!
Wipe your nose rather than blowing it, and you can sometimes avoid getting the real head-snotted-up feeling. This means breathing through your mouth and waiting for the snot to loosen and escape, which is frustrating but it does seem to shorten colds for me.
Swap the Kleenex for a big soft pillowcase, which seems gross but wiping your nose on some clean dry cotton is MUCH nicer than on tissue paper.
Sleep propped up with pillows, so you don’t get too stuffy.
Drink lots and lots of hot drinks.
Thank you! 🙂
I forgot to say get well soon and have a less snotty birthday!
Haha thank you!
Decongestant spray, steaming my head with salt water with olbas oil. I have a shocker at the minute and really want someoen to turn the tap off in my head.
Happy and hopefully less ill birthday!
Oh, good idea! I’ll stop by the drug store on my way home today and see what they have!
My standard response to a cold is: hot, steamy showers (ideally with those vapor discs that make it smell all medicine-y), soup (ideally something spicy), tea (with lemon and honey, esp if you have a cough or a sore throat) and getting as much rest as possible.
You can also try any of the OTC cold meds that will help with your congestion.
+1 to this, particularly the showers
If I’m feeling real crappy and not up to standing for even the length of a shower I will take a bath about as hot as I can stand with some medicinal-smelling bath salts.
Added bonus: tub reading.
Use waxy lipbalm to protect the skin on your nose and upper lip. You’ll have to reapply many times and probably chuck it at the end, but it helps a lot.
Pretty much this: http://www.robot-hugs.com/sick/
That’s one of my favourite comics 🙂
Stay hydrated! It’s easy to get dehydrated when you have a cold, and it just makes you feel crappier.
This. I am militant about drinking a liter per hour, if possible, and my colds are famously short-lived.
Swallow 3-4 uncut cloves of garlic like a pill and then drink a ton of ginger tea
I’ve heard of that remedy before, but I’m scared to do that! (I like garlic, but that just seems like a LOT at once.)
You can also slightly crush a few cloves, make a tea with it, and drown it honey / lemon to make it drinkable. The garlic will seep through your pores and be gross but when you come out the other side you’ll forget all about it.
If you don’t crush or cut them, you won’t even taste it going down – though you will have some lingering garlic aftertaste for the rest of the day.
Ginger bath!!!
Gatorade (lemon lime preferably), chicken Top Ramen, Theraflu cold and sinus, lozenges (if needed).
I hope you feel better!
Thank you! Gatorade sounds so good right now!
The good Sudafed, aka the kind you make meth with. I take a 12 hour sudafed which keeps the symptoms at bay. I just keep taking it until sickness is beaten into submission.
YES. You have to ask at the pharmacy counter but I never get any side-eye, especially if I’m audibly congested. Store brand works fine, but it has to be sudafedrine, not that other garbage. MucinexD is also good, it has Sudafed and an expectorant.
Hot lemonade with ginger grated in. And Happy Birthday! Be well!
Saline nose spray and/or Neti Pot! Yes, it feels like you have water up your nose, but I swear it shortens the duration of a cold for me by at least 30%. Also, if you’re prone to sinus infections, skip the sudafed/decongestants that dry you up, and instead take guaifenisen (an expectorant), use afrin (decongestant nose spray), and drink literally a gallon+ of water/day while you’re sick. A doctor at the student health clinic at college gave me those instructions..errr…mumbletyfifteen years ago, and I have had only 2 sinus infections since then (I used to get 1 or 2 per year).
I was resistant to saline spray/neti pot for a long time but my roommate convinced me to try when I got sick last year and I’m never looking back.
Put a shot of bourbon in an 8-oz glass. Squeeze in half a lemon (no seeds). Apply honey liberally (at least one teaspoon, more if you can take it). Stir it all up. Pour just-under-boiling water over the whole thing until your glass is as full as you want it. Drink at a leisurely pace.
Also, msbias’s pillowcase recommendation is SPOT ON. My family switched to handkerchiefs many many years ago, but it can be gross to use a hankie when you’re sick (it’s gross anyway when you stop to think about it, I admit it, but I’m able to conveniently forget about this most of the time).
I’m a big fan of fever therapy. You soak in the hottest bath you can stand for 20-30 minutes (drink room-temperature water while you’re doing this to prevent dehydration), then wrap yourself up in pajamas you don’t mind sweating in, and take a nap under a lot of blankets. You kick-start your fever response, which helps blast whatever nasties you’ve got in your system. Then you can use honey-ginger tea, etc, for further symptom relief.
disclaimer: IANAD, some medical conditions may make this a bad idea, be careful getting out of the bath as you may become dizzy, etc.
My husband uses his family’s Japanese trick of lobster-boiling hot baths to bring up his core body temperature. He feels that it helps. I’d go with the sudafed decongestants myself, if you don’t mind people demanding to see ID at the pharmacy counter.
My mother taught me this trick – put a few drops of essential oil (eucalyptus or peppermint work best) in a large glass bowl and fill it with boiling water. Set it on a low table, and then put your face/head over it and cover yourself with a towel. This will trap the steam and you can breathe it in deeply, coming up for air every so often so you don’t pass out. It always makes me feel 1000x less congested and very relaxed. Hope you feel better before your big day!
YES and yes. A roommate in college showed me this, and I have Eucalyptus oil in my house for this express purpose. It feels so lovely afterwards. (Same idea as the shower option from above but doesn’t require you standing up for any period of time.)
I don’t believe that any remedies actually work. I just pray that work is slow enough for me to stay at home and watch Netflix all day, which (honestly) I would consider to be an awesome birthday.
Hydration, hydration, hydration. Drink a minimum of eight ounces of water or non-caffeinated liquid every time you pee.
I’m a big fan of meds that only have one thing in them. Therefore, no DayQuil: instead, take Sudafed (the real stuff that you have to show ID for), ibuprofen or acetaminophen for fever, and something with guaifenesin for cough. I like Delsym (also available as a generic) as a cough syrup, because it’s time-release. OTC versions of things like Allegra and Zyrtec work well to dry up your nose, or diphenhydramine at night.
Somebody above already mentioned hot toddies, which I am firmly in favor of, the stronger the better–but don’t take acetaminophen with alcohol. Ginger tea is also good. Vicks Vaporub or Tiger Balm on the soles of your feet (really) and your chest will help with cough and achiness.
I second the Vicks and Tiger Balm. If your sinuses are clogged, rub it under your nose and eyes, and on your temples.
My go-to shopping list when I feel a cold coming on is OJ, dark chocolate, honey for tea or a toddy, and whiskey. You can ward off most things, or at least sleep through the worst of it.
Also — don’t forget proper nutrition! You’ll feel crappy longer if you’re on tea and toast for a week. Vegetable soup, especially if it’s homemade (less salt), is the best.
Drink ALL THE WATER. I am serious. Also, dose yourself hardcore on vitamin C and zinc. If I ever needed to ditch a cold for work-purposes, I would take vitamin C until my stomach rumbled ominously, take the hottest shower I could stand, wrap myself in a sheet and blanket hot from the dryer, and sleep for a few hours. Almost always works like a charm. If you are too far into the cold, I don’t know what your results will be, but sleep and vitamin C and water will always help you out.
I also like to make (or entice someone to make for me) a big pot of lemon-ginger-apple “tea”. In a large pot simmer:
a container of unfiltered apple juice or apple cider,
an equal amount of water,
a bunch of chopped fresh ginger root,
the juice of several lemons squeezed (minus the seeds),
and then chuck in a couple of the washed, squeezed lemon rinds.
You can also add some honey, depending on allergies, vegan-ness, how sweet it tastes to you, etc. Drink a cup every hour, as warm as you can stand.
Whatever you do not drink the first day, refrigerate with the ginger and lemon rinds – it will be powerful and delightful the next day. Definitely add honey or more apple cider/juice and water when you reheat, because the ginger will be spicy.
Feel better!!
It is a miracle. (You can even throw in a healthy dollop of whiskey and call it a toddy, which will soothe respiratory issues.)
Wasabi.
Eat susdhi with as much wasabi as you can tolerate.
I’ve never tried it, but my mother’s standard cold remedy is roast beef sandwiches with wasabi.
Cats is cats!
big kitty 😀
*___________*
I like that the only comment is a poorly worded screed against snowbirds. Get your kitty priorities in line, Floridian dude.
I have to admit though, that I was very tempted to reply to that comment with some version of “don’t get too snotty, Michigan feels the same way about them” but then, no, pay attention to KITTY
It does my heart good to see that big cats corner just about as poorly as my own housecats. Fishtailing butt!
Have you ever watched The Lion Whisperer on YouTube? They are my favorite videos to watch when I need a dose of big cat (and hyena).
I like that the panther seems just as freaked out at the end as she does. My cat does that mad scramble around corners, too.
Awwww, kitty! Feeling just as skittish as the camera-holder.
I don’t actually have a lot of opinions on male synchronized swimming, but I once stumbled upon the movie Allt flyter (The Swimsuit Issue) on Netflix and I totally recommend it! It’s Swedish and it’s a little slow but it is one of those films where you end it feeling vaguely charmed? (Disclaimer: I don’t know if it’s still on Netflix)
Okay everyone stop reading the observer article (tl;dr angry man is angry! Mostly with some women!) and read the STORIFY instead, if you’re going to be shaking with rage make it about something worth caring about.
Everyone should absolutely read the Storify article. But to be fair, the emotions I get even from just hearing about that Observer peace are mostly pure, contented schadenfreude. A man thought his angry opinions on women mattered and were well-written, and now the whole internet is mocking his incoherent ranting into the void. Sometimes the universe is just.
Ha! To be fair I didn’t read too much of it, and my anger was more like “why are you wasting my time little man!” (And then I cut him off.) and my main takeaway was “professional female editors have thwarted you? O RLY, WHY.” Your approach of “just hearing about it” is a sound one, but a lot of folks are wasting some time that they don’t need to give this guy.
That Storify is so awful. That poor student. Jesus.
The cornbread story seems to fit in quite nicely with the On the Media podcast extra I listened to yesterday: Is This Food Racist?
The parts where Rick Bayless talks about how people are racist against him and how he can’t think of any advantages he’s had because he’s white are so so awkward, but well handled by both the host and in the commentary.
I listened to it on the Sporkful! Agree completely about the awkwardness and the pretty skillfull handling.
I think the host is doing a three part series on food and race- I’m expecting good things.
Oh good! I’d never heard of the Sporkful before but have been badly burned on promising-seeming podcasts lately so I was on the fence about checking it out or not.
It is mostly full of sincere enthusiasm about food, with some absurd, mostly tongue in cheek debate about the “correct” way to eat/do something (see “are hot dogs sandwiches”, most of the calls shows). The show about eating food in the shower was fairly inspiring in a “I can see that making life a little more pleasurable” kind of way. I’d say there are certainly far, far more hits than misses for me.
oh my GOD, i have always suspected when seeing him interviewed about southern food on cooking shows that rick bayless was exactly That Guy, and now you have confirmed my longstanding bias against him! thank you for the link!
The racial divide of cornbread reminds me of my own experiences with the sweet-versus-savory divide of gefilte fish. Humanity, we keep repeating the same stories. (Sweet is always better.)
Also, thank you to everyone who was so kind in yesterday’s LR. I feel a lot better and able to spend a couple days with my mom mourning her mom, so thanks. <3
Huh, I didn’t know about that one! I’ve never had it sweet. I spend all my time arguing about dense vs. fluffy matzoh balls.
(Sending best wishes to you and your family).
Matzoh balls: floaters or sinkers. As divisive as Hatfields and McCoys, or North and South.
“Marital beardy betrayal of the worst kind” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This dude is a gem.
The South isn’t monolith. There’s quite a bit of regional variation so you can’t really say “The South is like this.” Because as soon as you say that, somebody’s going to pop up and say, “Well, I’m from X and we never do that!”
I’ve had cornbread every which way: white or yellow, sweet or savory, crackling cornbread, jalapeño cornbread, etc. (think Forrest Gump but with cornbread). The racial divide may be true in parts of the South but in my experience it’s just based on taste. Some families do it one way, some do it another, sometimes it depends on what you’re making it to go with. Like if you’re making corn muffins it’s probably going to be sweet. If you’re making it in a cast iron frying pan, it’s probably not. It’s all good food, either way.
AMEN. I grew up in the shallow south (Kentucky) and there are so many regional variations just within my own state! The current vogue for “Southern food” reminds me of “Italian food” (although it could be worse. It could be “Asian food” which drives me fucking crazy).
My own mother is very much on team Dry, Unsweetened Cornbread, but every time she visits me in Brooklyn she drags me to Junior’s so she can eat the cornbread, which is so soft and thick and sweet it makes me think it must be made out of marshmallows or something. Damn, I love it. Since I stopped eating meat I don’t want that unsweetened cornbread, which is really best when it’s covered in gravy or similar wet meaty item.
“Asian food”
I recently overheard a co-worker complaining about how she went to a Thai restaurant, and was disappointed because the food she ate was nothing like Chinese food.
Why…… would you expect those to be anything like each other?!? (And there are tons of very different regional variations of “Chinese food”, too!)
me (said to my radio as i turned off NPR on my way to work this morning): if there is anything i do not need to hear today, it is that Man With Tiny Hands has an opinion on abortion.
I think Dorothy Allison nailed the perfect compromise when it comes to cornbread: Use Jiffy mix but add a teaspoon of salt to offset the sweetness. Now I *really* want a toaster oven so I can make that happen. Yum.
aaaaaaaaahhh look what they found!!!! http://blog.smu.edu/research/2016/03/28/text-in-l…
also great: all the people on the internet being all “WHY do they just ASSUME it has to be a RELIGIOUS text, they can’t even READ it yet, what if it’s just some REGULAR SECULAR writing [unearthed at a temple site]”
Yes, totally a massive 500lb four-foot-tall secular piece of writing, just hanging out there in a giant temple for funsies.
As they are wont to do!
Cornbread is, as stated above, totally mystifying to me. I had a vague feeling that something was special/strange about it, with everyone around me acting as if sweet corn bread was the most glorious thing to ever grace our plates. That it’s racialised kind of explains that in a way, I guess. I still feel German/lonely about its unbreadness.
I’m going home today, toasties! Not looking foward to the eleven hour flight, the cold, and the jetlag. I can’t believe I’m going to go back to German early spring. It’s probably snowing or sth. I want to take home California climate in my carry-on luggage please.
I went to Disneyland yesterday and it was the best. Pirates.
I think that some of the appeal of cornbread, besides that fact that it’s cake (which it is!), has to do with the warm comforting foods it’s usually served with. I’ve made cornbread for curious Europeans before, but I served it with pinto beans and ham hocks like my mom did. Having it on its own, especially at a restaurant, is pretty hit-or-miss, it’s often dry or otherwise unacceptable. I won’t order it unless I’ve heard it’s good at that particular place, and even then I’m often disappointed because it isn’t just how I like it.
Safe journeys! I know that feeling of preemptive travel nostalgia.
Nicole, have you considered doing a Toast fundraiser where we pay to hug Sansa? Because I would fork over many American dollars.
We could fund a purpose-built tour bus for Sansa (and her humans) to travel to meet-and-greets across the country.
I am willing to stock said bus with peanut-butter-filled Kong toys, or whatever other celebrity perks she might demand in her contract.
I would pay extra for ear floof nuzzling.
I won’t be around for the open thread because I’M MOVING TOMORROW and getting away from my BANANAS roommate!! So my open thread topic is going here: TRACY CHAPMAN was in my store yesterday, a perfect angel, bought very cool art and architecture books, and was tremendously personable and beautiful. !!!!
Good grief I kind of don’t want to write for that Wired guy, like that is way too much pressure!!!!!!!
Last night I was at swim masters (which is swim team for adults), and the local synchro team was practicing in the other pool (This is a pretty famous team–most of these ladies are olympic contenders). This meant that while I was doing hypoxic laps (i.e. don’t breathe until you get to the end of the lane), I could hear their music, which was Tchaikovsky’s waltz of the flowers. Truly a bizarre contrast.
Holy cow… read the comments on that Elle – Observer piece. War’s a’ brewin’. This gem is a result, a response from Robert Crumb to a bad interview of him by this same Jacques Hyzagi: http://slumgoddess.blogspot.com/2015/11/r-crumb-d…
I cannot allow any discussion of Carly Rae Jepsen to go by without sharing this nihilist parody of Call Me Maybe.
Chorus: Hey, what’s it all mean?
We suffer greatly
And time will someday
Obliterate me
Hey, Zarathustra
spoke, “Have no pity!”
Cause time will someday
Obliterate me
Hey, what’s it all mean?
We suffer greatly
And time will someday
Obliterate me
And Christianity
will never taint me
For time will someday
Obliterate me!
Oh. My god. Thank you for sharing this treasure.
Hey guys, OT but this is doing my brain in- i had a second interview for a job on Wednesday, it seemed to go great except right at the end there was a ‘helpful’ comment about my interview style which I maybe didn’t handle 100% awesomely but they even commented on the great rapport during the interview BUT I haven’t heard anything yet and I know they were looking to do the last round next week and it’s 1pm on Friday and I just don’t know if I should spend the weekend interview prepping or not. Aka fretting.
I’ve left a message w the recruiter but I JUST WANT SOME CERTAINTY. JUST TELL ME IF ITS A NO AND I WILL GET ON W MY LIFE.
I am the same, almost! Aaargh job searching!
It is actually #TheWorst and the entire process is designed to make you feel small and dumb and grateful if someone kindly takes a chance on you and deigns to offer you employment. But I am fantastic and smart and produce lots of value AND SO DO YOU.