I am deeply, frustratingly, maddeningly in love with my female boss. I am also a woman, and I identify as “mostly straight” — I have only dated men but have had two other deep, frustrating, maddening, ultimately unrequited crushes on women.
My boss is five levels above me. She is one of the heads of our company. She knows how I feel, at least in a jokey sense, because our office is small and casual, and I am kind of … endearingly open about it? That sounds like I’m a freak, but I swear I’m funny and normal. She is friendly toward me, and even affectionate. She drives me home and we talk openly about our lives. But of course she is straight, and of course this is completely unrequited.
I don’t know how to get over it, and it’s making work very hard. I take her feedback very personally. I don’t mean to, but I am crazy about her and her opinions. I can’t leave my job because I love, love, love my job. How do you get over someone you see every day, who manages you, who is the world’s most beautiful and perfect person?
Frustrated in my Cube
I felt like I had to answer this since it feels like an inversion of the possibly-gay-boss query I fielded in my last column. But even though I took the opportunity to give that person a pretty extensive talking-to about appropriate workplace boundaries, the answer to their question was pretty simple, and the answer to yours is too:
You can’t date your boss....Read More