If Tilda Swinton were your girlfriend, you’d be mostly vegan, although Tilda says labels are for the uncreative. You’d marvel at her silo full of legumes, and the only meat you’d eat would be the brown trout that the twins catch on the banks of the firth. You’d feel guilty about that time at your parents’ house when Tilda ate—and loved—pork rinds, since you didn’t realize that she didn’t know they were meat. But, as Tilda says, “One must be prepared for anything while visiting the American Deep South.”
If Tilda Swinton were your girlfriend, she’d be pleased to loan you anything from her closet, even though nothing ever looks quite right on you and is always several inches too long. You’d try not to act like it was a big deal when Tilda showed you her old christening gown, which was woven before the Norman Conquest.
If Tilda Swinton were your girlfriend, you’d always keep a bottle of Madeira on hand, just in case her dad stopped in while touring the estates. Everybody would call him “Sir John” except for Tilda, who would refer to him as “The Major General.”...Read More