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Home: The Toast

Illustration by Jen May

Aries: Think about your desires, this month, in so many different forms, but all of them warm and alive. Think of the ones that burn brighter than the rest, the ones that could burn a hole right through you, the ones that exist on a different plane. Think of the ones that feel truest. Think of the ones that keep you awake at night. Think of the desires with names too potent to speak, and try speak their names anyway. It’s springtime and the world is opening again, wild and green and new.

Taurus: Even with its most powerful energy, even with its bright unstoppable strangeness, your mind can’t do everything for you. It can’t spin forever without resting. There are problems you can’t think your way out of, and there are feelings you can’t outsmart, and this is okay. You can lay your thoughts down, sometimes. You can let your buzzing brain rest. There are things that can only be done with your hands, with your voice, with your teeth, and these things matter too.

Gemini: There are moments that can surprise you. There are people who can catch you off guard with their sweet strange goodness. There are also poisons you can recognize by taste, and cruelty so strong you can smell it, and you don’t need to pretend that this isn’t true. You don’t need to stay open to every possibility. Trust the things you know. Allow yourself the wisdom of the days you’ve lived and lessons you’ve learned. Your instincts are glittering and sharp. Use them.

Cancer: This month, when the loops and tangles of human life become too strange to bear, think of the forest. Think of the brown earth, damp and alive, and the ferns unfolding all green and tender. Think of how much energy a tree expends every year to live its full and quiet life. Think of all the lives the rain has lived. There are so many ways to experience time. There are days, and then there are seasons, and there are more ways to move through them than you know.

Leo: Every moment, even now, you’re learning and you’re growing and you’re gathering information that you’re someday going to need. Watch your friends’ faces, watch the sky, read poems that don’t quite make sense. Everything is a piece of some puzzle, everything is part of some story, and sometimes it just takes a long time for the story to tell itself to you. You can’t know all the answers yet, and this is okay. This is a gift. You don’t need to predict the future; you only need to live.

Virgo: When you feel trapped, when you feel stuck, when your time feels like a burden and not a gift, try to remember the future again. Try to live like the future is real, because it is, though it might not always feel that way. Your life will be full of so many sparkling days, some of them rainy and some of them strange and some of them clear like the morning, and they all belong to you. They always will. Remember this.

Libra: You might feel impatient this month, ready for new experiences you can’t find, ready for new feelings that the world hasn’t give you yet. You might feel like you’re wasting your days, but you’re not. Your energy is never wasted, even when you can’t feel yourself growing. There is a beauty in familiarity and there’s a beauty in repetition. All these small moments of effort will add up to something, and you’ll feel it soon if you don’t feel it yet. You’re glowing brighter every day.

Scorpio: There are problems you can’t solve inside your own head, and there are thoughts that won’t make sense until you speak them out loud. You’ve been working very hard and you have the tools you need. Now this is a month to start talking, without a plan, just to see what form your words take. It’s a week to start walking, just to see where you end up. You’re not a closed system, and you’re not alone. There is a world full of light and magic. Let it change you.

Sagittarius: It can be hard to relax about the future when the world’s so full and rich, when your days move past you so quickly, but try anyway. Your time can’t be limitless, but it can be enough. You can’t live every life, but you can live your own. This isn’t a tragedy and it isn’t a loss; it’s a kind of bright calm freedom. You don’t need to strive toward everything. There’s a whole strange world outside you. There’s so much air to breathe.

Capricorn: There are periods of time when you can live on almost nothing, when you can ignore your own needs and do no lasting damage. You’re tough and you’re wild and you know how to survive, but try to use this month to give yourself the things you really need. Try to drink enough water; try to get enough sleep, try to fill your thoughts with love. Use this month to replenish the goodness and light you keep stored in your blood and your dreams.

Aquarius: It can be easy to forget how much you’ve already survived. It can be easy to look back like it was all easy, like it was all nothing, but it wasn’t. You’ve traveled such a long distance, and now you’re here. You’ve traveled such a long distance, and you’re still living, and the world is still opening itself for you, and you’re still moving. There’s a light in your dreams too bright to burn out. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself.

Pisces: This month, think of the different ways you can move through your life. Think of the kinds of freedom available to you, and the kinds of freedom that you want. There’s a whole world of people less kind than you, and you don’t have to let them tell you who you are. You can surprise them. You can surprise yourself. Go outside, and feel your voice in your throat and the air on your face. Your power isn’t limitless, but it’s so much greater than you know.

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Madame Clairevoyant (a.k.a. Claire Comstock-Gay) writes fiction and horoscopes and works with teenagers during the day. You can find more of her writing here.

Jen May is an artist living in Brooklyn, NY. Her website is somewhat regularly updated with new work.

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