Illustration by Jen May
Aries: Think about your desires, this month, in so many different forms, but all of them warm and alive. Think of the ones that burn brighter than the rest, the ones that could burn a hole right through you, the ones that exist on a different plane. Think of the ones that feel truest. Think of the ones that keep you awake at night. Think of the desires with names too potent to speak, and try speak their names anyway. It’s springtime and the world is opening again, wild and green and new.
Taurus: Even with its most powerful energy, even with its bright unstoppable strangeness, your mind can’t do everything for you. It can’t spin forever without resting. There are problems you can’t think your way out of, and there are feelings you can’t outsmart, and this is okay. You can lay your thoughts down, sometimes. You can let your buzzing brain rest. There are things that can only be done with your hands, with your voice, with your teeth, and these things matter too.
Gemini: There are moments that can surprise you. There are people who can catch you off guard with their sweet strange goodness. There are also poisons you can recognize by taste, and cruelty so strong you can smell it, and you don’t need to pretend that this isn’t true. You don’t need to stay open to every possibility. Trust the things you know. Allow yourself the wisdom of the days you’ve lived and lessons you’ve learned. Your instincts are glittering and sharp. Use them.
Cancer: This month, when the loops and tangles of human life become too strange to bear, think of the forest. Think of the brown earth, damp and alive, and the ferns unfolding all green and tender. Think of how much energy a tree expends every year to live its full and quiet life. Think of all the lives the rain has lived. There are so many ways to experience time. There are days, and then there are seasons, and there are more ways to move through them than you know.
Leo: Every moment, even now, you’re learning and you’re growing and you’re gathering information that you’re someday going to need. Watch your friends’ faces, watch the sky, read poems that don’t quite make sense. Everything is a piece of some puzzle, everything is part of some story, and sometimes it just takes a long time for the story to tell itself to you. You can’t know all the answers yet, and this is okay. This is a gift. You don’t need to predict the future; you only need to live.
Virgo: When you feel trapped, when you feel stuck, when your time feels like a burden and not a gift, try to remember the future again. Try to live like the future is real, because it is, though it might not always feel that way. Your life will be full of so many sparkling days, some of them rainy and some of them strange and some of them clear like the morning, and they all belong to you. They always will. Remember this.
Libra: You might feel impatient this month, ready for new experiences you can’t find, ready for new feelings that the world hasn’t give you yet. You might feel like you’re wasting your days, but you’re not. Your energy is never wasted, even when you can’t feel yourself growing. There is a beauty in familiarity and there’s a beauty in repetition. All these small moments of effort will add up to something, and you’ll feel it soon if you don’t feel it yet. You’re glowing brighter every day.
Scorpio: There are problems you can’t solve inside your own head, and there are thoughts that won’t make sense until you speak them out loud. You’ve been working very hard and you have the tools you need. Now this is a month to start talking, without a plan, just to see what form your words take. It’s a week to start walking, just to see where you end up. You’re not a closed system, and you’re not alone. There is a world full of light and magic. Let it change you.
Sagittarius: It can be hard to relax about the future when the world’s so full and rich, when your days move past you so quickly, but try anyway. Your time can’t be limitless, but it can be enough. You can’t live every life, but you can live your own. This isn’t a tragedy and it isn’t a loss; it’s a kind of bright calm freedom. You don’t need to strive toward everything. There’s a whole strange world outside you. There’s so much air to breathe.
Capricorn: There are periods of time when you can live on almost nothing, when you can ignore your own needs and do no lasting damage. You’re tough and you’re wild and you know how to survive, but try to use this month to give yourself the things you really need. Try to drink enough water; try to get enough sleep, try to fill your thoughts with love. Use this month to replenish the goodness and light you keep stored in your blood and your dreams.
Aquarius: It can be easy to forget how much you’ve already survived. It can be easy to look back like it was all easy, like it was all nothing, but it wasn’t. You’ve traveled such a long distance, and now you’re here. You’ve traveled such a long distance, and you’re still living, and the world is still opening itself for you, and you’re still moving. There’s a light in your dreams too bright to burn out. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself.
Pisces: This month, think of the different ways you can move through your life. Think of the kinds of freedom available to you, and the kinds of freedom that you want. There’s a whole world of people less kind than you, and you don’t have to let them tell you who you are. You can surprise them. You can surprise yourself. Go outside, and feel your voice in your throat and the air on your face. Your power isn’t limitless, but it’s so much greater than you know.
I know this is in jest but “You don’t need to predict the future; you only need to live” is an extremely relevant directive to me. Thank you/get out of my brain?
SAME FELLOW LEO! So very very relevant, it’s crazy.
OMYGOD, right? Leo was on point this month.
Ha, yes! I don’t put much faith in horoscopes, but this is the message I need to hear right now. All the Toast Leos are satisified today.
YES I join the chorus of intrigued and satisfied Toast Leos.
But but but… don’t I need a vision board? and a 5 year plan? How can I follow my bliss if I don’t know my bliss? Please help me.
Thank you. It’s paper season for me right now and I really needed the reminder to let my “buzzing brain rest.” Lord knows it almost never falls silent, even when I occasionally remind it to with steel strings and wood under my fingertips. I’m still trying to remind myself to be present and not be afraid of the heart that gently taps against my sternum when I least expect a visit.
Libra, and right now I would like to take this and wrap myself up in it and wear it as a big soft cloak of Magical Wishes From The Stars to comfort me as I sit here grinding away at my temp job and hoping that there is something better outside than this sad basement in the Midwest.
Somehow, Madame Clairevoyant’s horoscopes are the only ones that ever ring true for me. “There is a world full of light and magic. Let it change you.” Yes, yes, yes.
I suspect it’s because they’re more poetry than advice – you, as the reader, will put meaning in it, and it will be the meaning you need in that exact moment.
I have always preferred poetry over advice, really.
“You can’t live every life, but you can live your own.” The whole Sagittarius one is really hitting home for me right now but that line in particular.
ME TOO.
So much. So much yes.
YES and “Your time can’t be limitless, but it can be enough.”
I don’t want to hear it. I’m terribly resistant to it, which means it’s exactly what I need, which means Madame Clairvoyant is a force I must heed.
Me too. I might need to have a cry about it.
The thing is, ever since February, horoscopes and tarot cards have been the main things reassuring me that everything will be fine.
The Aquarius reading (I’m an Aquarius) is eerily similar to a tarot reading I did for myself last night which is really comforting and strengthening.
Hi do you learn to do Tarot cards? I have always been interested in it. Any good resources?
There is a Toast Tarot community at Slack (which I joined and then had a whole bunch of writing projects I had to finish and keep wanting to get back into) and Fool’s Journey at Autostraddle is great, and Biddy Tarot is helpful for the basics and so is Little Red Tarot.
Seconding LRT – also check out Joan Bunning’s work for the absolute basics. Her stuff is available for free online but I bought her book since I liked her so much. She gives more than a list of keywords, but also sorts the meanings by relatedness instead of having one definitive interpretation like a lot of other tarot authours. Unforutnately she still does the masculine/feminine thing but I just interpret it as internal/external
http://www.learntarot.com/
“Now this is a month to start talking, without a plan, just to see what form your words take.”
I think my problem might be that I started talking, without a plan, 30 years ago, instead of just this month. Whoops.
not only are these particularly prescient horoscopes, but this is perhaps Jen May’s best illustration yet. So beautiful. I want to rest with it for a long time and mediate on my Aries truest desires too potent to speak & rest my Taurus mind (cusp life).
HOW
HOW DO YOU KNOW
Every month it is like you are speaking the words I needed to hear – how do you DO that?!
I don’t believe in horoscopes in any substantive way, but thank you for Taurus. Off on my next step of forcing myself to drive in order to be able to drive without terror and panic. Body, do your thing.
Another Taurus here – I have to keep my brain buzzing until I turn in my dissertation next week (aaahhh), but my next Life Task after that is to sign up for driving lessons for the first time in twelve years. I’m hoping I can do it without panicking so much this time…!
comforted to read about you guy’s fear of driving. I am buying a house next month and still do not have my license and this makes me feel a little less like a stunted adult…
“There are periods of time when you can live on almost nothing, when you can ignore your own needs and do no lasting damage. You’re tough and you’re wild and you know how to survive, but try to use this month to give yourself the things you really need.”
*sobs a little*
A relationship in which I loved the person deeply, but also was relying on my reserves to get by, ended a few months ago. And some resources are legit tight for me right now. But there’s no reason for me to be treating water, sleep, and self-kindness as if they are among my scarcities.
Thank you.
*hug*
Aw, I’m so glad you’re going to replenish now. You deserve it.
It’s a week to start walking, just to see where you end up. You’re not a closed system, and you’re not alone. There is a world full of light and magic. Let it change you.
stop it stop it stop it stop it
I read these horoscopes religiously every month. Thank you so much, I always find such hope in them.
aries = sun sign, taurus = moon sign; i have been consistently screencapping both of them to save for later, because they’re always so relevant and good.
Think of the desires with names too potent to speak, and try to speak their names anyway.
I was about to ask if it was the done thing to read the horoscope for your moon sign as well before remembering ‘wait, my moon sign is Scorpio too.’ Well, there goes the fun in that.
i’m not sure if it’s a common/done thing, but it’s what i do, since i have never felt like a true aries, and feel exactly like an aries-taurus blend. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Screencapping? I’ve seriously considered taking up embroidery to render the most important and meaningful and uplifting and crushing passages in silk thread, to hang at the wall, and cry at them, occasionally. I might still do that.
I’m Pisces. I’m quitting my stressful, killing-my-health job next Friday and then moving back home to the city I love to start over in a whole new career.
In other words: holy shit, horoscope.
” There are things that can only be done with your hands, with your voice, with your teeth, and these things matter too.”
Does that mean it’s OK to leave work at 10:30am for lunch?
Absolutely.
http://www.theonion.com/video/man-says-fuck-it-ea…
you do usually need your teeth to have lunch so yep
Now this is a month to start talking, without a plan, just to see what form your words take
must. not. take. this. as. permission. not. to. work. on the. paper. I’m. presenting. in. two. days.
Not crying at my desk. I’m not doing it. “Trust the things you know. Allow yourself the wisdom of the days you’ve lived and lessons you’ve learned.” Aaaah I needed this so much.
Oh no. This is not what I wanted to hear. Or actually this is exactly what I want to hear deep deep down but the work and compromise it would take is scary as shit.
Interestingly, I was wishing for these horoscopes this morning so I did a quick tarot reading and it was exactly the same.
I don’t really believe in horoscopes but I love reading these. The Aquarius one is really, really relevant and something I needed to hear. Thank you for these!
Stop making me cry, Toast. Just stop. I don’t want to have feelings today, thank you very much.
Thank you for the kick in the butt I needed to fill out this job application.
Now this is a month to start talking, without a plan, just to see what form your words take.
Playing a dangerous game, this month, then.
You don’t need to stay open to every possibility.
Oh. Oh, that’s … but … oh.
But you are clearly open to wicked cool usernames, so Advantage You!
I need to write that on my mirror and read it every day. I needed this one this month.
*curls up into a ball* someone wake me when Cancers have good news.
i.e.: maaaayyy be time to move to that forest actually. 😛
This month was better than last month at least. Last month actually scared me (thankfully the thing I was most worried about did not come to pass, but I suppose it still could….)
True, true. The forest sounds lovely and I’m currently undergoing a shift in how I look at time to help me accomplish things anyway, sooooooo. ahem. it might be spot-on.
hope this month is peaceful and free of disaster for you too! 🙂
I’m a Cancer and I got promoted today, which is pretty good news, but who knows what else the month has in store?
I think the key to being happy as a Cancer is to really embrace the water sign element. Float on the tide as they rise and fall, adapt your course around obstacles in your path, and accept that the only constant is change. This of course runs counter to the Cancer’s domestic desire for stability, but if home is where the heart is, than home is wherever you are.
awww that is so beautiful, and WOW. that is crazy applicable to my life. Thank you. 🙂
Yeah I mean moving to a forest and becoming a hermit witch IS endgame but one does have to eat while refining one’s forest-husbandry and unholy powers…
“There are problems you can’t think your way out of… There are things that can only be done with your hands, with your voice, with your teeth” — or with my wallet, unfortunately. Some things I need to pay my way through, and I’m really struggling to accept that I can’t brain my way to more capital, not in the next five months at least.
(I’m so stressed out)
There are problems you can’t think your way out of, and there are feelings you can’t outsmart, and this is okay.
Okay, but I can outswim them, that’s what you’re telling me right
Thank you from this Scorpio who is trying to get moved and start a new job in a new city. I’m working on it!
This Sagittarius thanks you profoundly.
I jumped the gun and did most of Scorpio in March, which makes me a bit nervous because now I’m wondering if I should reconsider the life plan I made last month and start re-examining all my options. I haven’t committed to anything tho so maybe this just means I should start talking through the consequences of my preliminary decision?
I see it that way – you’ve made all your plans, so live them out and see if they work or not. As much as we fixed signs would like to be able to see every eventuality before it happens, that’s not how life works!
Gosh, why does Virgo feel so relevant right now? I’m living with my quite conservative parents, and have struggled to make friends in graduate school, and sometimes it feels like I’m never going to study abroad or move to be with my long-distance boyfriend. Thank you. The future is real, and it belongs to me.
Deep thanks from this Pisces, who doesn’t do horoscopes as a rule but wants a tattoo of this one. Just what I needed to read.
These are beautiful but like, okaaaaay but how do i, Taurus, actually just chill with the thoughts and feelings that i have without wanting to just crawl out of my psychopathological skin, destroy everything, and take to the sea?
(jk i know the answer is meditation & sunlight & exercise & therapy for what is probably an obsessive disorder on top of an anxiety disorder & dysthymia & couples counseling & time)
(but seriously how does that work help me)
If you find out, can you share with this Aries?
Fuuuuucckkkkkk. I’m leaving on a five bicycle month trip in EIGHT WEEKS you guys, I’m so nervous and it’s such a big change and so up in the air, I have to take Scorpio and Sag together as a giant kick in the pants. Just do it kid! You can’t plan any more!
"Maybe this will be my second month where my horoscope doesn't make me cry! … … … *sniff* yeah maybe next month"
I officially propose a new Aquarius symbol of a Greek statue pouring water out of her eyes