1. Allison Janney’s performance as C.J. Cregg on The West Wing.
2. Using the Boer War as a metaphor for things that are really, really old.
3. Informing someone that “flaccid” used to be pronounced “flak-sid,” but “flass-id” DOES sound more appropriate given the image it creates.
4. When you are six minutes away from bailing on someone so you can stay home and watch TV, and they cancel on you first.
5. Stevie Wonder’s performance of “Superstition” on Sesame Street.
6. Robert Munsch’s The Paper Bag Princess.
7. Shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.
8. Nice tributes to the guy who wrote one of the books that became one of the shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.
9. Eating in any position other than upright and at a table.
10. Celebrity blind items where someone has clearly gotten it right in the comments and everyone agrees but you wouldn’t have figured it out on your own.
11. Very slow remixes of “Jolene.”
12. Pointing out that you’ve always liked “Jolene.”
13. Getting to explain what steampunk is to someone who has not yet heard of the idea of steampunk.
14. Books about death in the Grand Canyon.
15. Books about death in Yellowstone.
16. Books about death in Yosemite.
17. When elderly black people are friends with elderly white people in real life, not just on benches in ads for statins.
18. Pappardelle.
19. The opportunity to correct someone for having a cell phone conversation on Amtrak’s Quiet Car.
20. Saying “a raisin is a horrible thing to do to a grape” to someone who hasn’t heard you say it every time someone mentions raisins.
21. Middle-aged Canadian lesbian stoners.
22. kd lang
23. Listening to kd lang with middle-aged Canadian lesbian stoners while eating pappardelle.
24. A new video about cats on YouTube that has enough of an original hook to it that you can share it on Facebook.
25. Anne Helen Petersen’s “Scandals of Classic Hollywood” series.
26. Dessert menus that have something which is basically just a huge, upscale Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
27. Pretending you’re singing Kirsty MacColl’s half of the “Fairytale of New York” duet by the Pogues in a a karaoke bar, while Sean Bean sings the other half, because you’re dating and he doesn’t care if people know.
28. When movies are made now, but set in the 1970s.
29. Anticipating how amazing smartphones will be in twenty years.
30. Thinking about how embarrassing it will be for Adam Levine’s kids to watch his music videos.
Tags: dreams, listicles, universally liked things
First of all, I am one hundred percent the demographic for #26: “Dessert menus that have something which is basically just a huge, upscale Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.”
However, I know I am also in the demographic for this, but WHO ON THIS GREEN EARTH does not love Allison Janney’s performance as C.J. Cregg on The West Wing?
Yes, tell us more about this Peanut Butter Cup.
(I never watched the West Wing)
I highly recommend buying the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream bars.
I have a recipe for this! It’s a chocolate pie filled with a peanut butter mixture and with a caramel sauce on the side. I really should make it for people more (I don’t like peanut butter all that much, but it’s fun to make).
And Allison Janney loves them!
Pretty sure the entire post-Sorkin run of The West Wing was a deserved apology to Allison Janney for the way her character had been treated for the first four seasons.
I have not see TWW, but I’ve yet to see an Allison Janney performance I did not like.
This is what I’m saying. Have you seen her in The Way, Way Back? She is THE BEST.
No! Have you seen her in The Impostors? It’s one of my favorites, and I love her in it.
I forgot she was in The Hours. I haven’t seen it since it came out in the theater. Man, that movie had a great cast.
I have always loved Allison Janney, but I think her performance — and hair, and accent, and booziness — in Drop Dead Gorgeous really sealed her sainthood status for me.
And now I want to stay in all weekend and devour all her movies. 🙂
My boyfriend, recently, was interviewed by a high school intern about what inspired him to pursue his job. When he said “The West Wing,” the high schooler said “What’s that?” My boyfriend nearly fell off his chair.
I have never wanted something on TV to be real life more than C.J., Abby Bartlett, Donna Moss and Amy Gardner getting drunk together on Abby’s birthday. That, and the Jackal.
I’m basically in grad school so I can write about Dead Irish Writers (the episode, not like Joyce or whoever) all day.
“not just on benches in ads for statins” perfect
Seeing elderly black/white interracial couples makes me want to give them GIANT HUGS.
Except that would be creepy. But still. HUGS.
Oh my god, the cover of Death in Grand Canyon. ADD TO CART.
I don’t know if I desperately want to read all three of those, or should stay far, far, away because I love those parks and want to go back and reading those might keep me in my safe little city apartment.
Having spent time in two out of three three parks and read the corresponding books, I say you desperately need to read them, although not all it one sitting! They are fascinating.
I like the parts where people fall into mudpots and hot springs and their skin falls off in entire layers, like peeling off their hands like gloves.
DEATH COMES TO ALL
I want to read them all right this second! I hate when books I want to read aren’t available for Kindle. Instant gratification denied.
I got the Yellowstone one at the height of my early teenage morbid stage. Equal parts fascinating and horrifying. (Just like being a teenager!)
#19 is my dream scenario, because I love being RIGHT because of RULES, and if you would like to post more pieces about the quiet car on Amtrak I will promise to click through all of them.
#10 is as satisfying as finally reaching an itchy spot in the middle of your back.
Allison Janney is a gift. A TREASURE. I still want to be C.J. Cregg when I grow up. You know, when I’m not wanting to be Minerva McGonagall when I grow up.
Scandals of Classic Hollywood: also a gift.
(Also I have always loved Jolene! Thanks, mom.)
Who doesn’t like Jolene? Seriously. I didn’t even have the introduction via my parents because of their whole “coming to the US in the 1980s after spending their formative years growing up in a civil war” thing but it’s managed to work its way to my ears.
I have a friend who breeds horses and names all the foals from one mare after Dolly songs. Jolene is one of my favourites of hers!
Death in the Grand Canyon! When I was fourteen my mom, her new live-in boyfriend and I went to the Grand Canyon to “bond as a family”. I spent the entire time scowling and crossing my arms, and then I demanded they buy me that book from the gift shop. They did, and I read it aloud on the very long drive back home hoping it would annoy my stepdad enough for him to break up with my mom. It didn’t work, but I still own/love that book SO MUCH!
“When you are six minutes away from bailing on someone so you can stay home and watch TV, and they cancel on you first.”
This is basically the only thing that makes me happy.
Yeah, that was probably my favorite one on the list.
Unless said plans involved listening to kd lang with middle-aged Canadian lesbian stoners while eating pappardelle. Because I would not bail on that.
The specific demographic that likes that one is “everyone on earth.”
#12 certainly applies to me but no, I have not yet heard of the idea of steampunk.
This totally reminds me of my partner’s saying: “There are two types of people in this world: People who dislike Kate Mulgrew’s voice, and lesbians.”
I am technically neither of these things, but I am far closer to being a lesbian than I am to disliking anything about Kate Mulgrew.
This seems as good a place as any to leave this.
Oh, Missus Columbo! *swoon*
I’m here for Raylan…also, who doesn’t like AHP?
RAYLAN.
I identify with many of these things, so I’m feeling pretty good about myself right now.
And I am ADAMANT that two of the best live song performances of ALL TIME are: 1) Superstition live on Sesame Street and 2) Birdhouse in Your Soul on the Tonight Show (Doc Severinsen trumpet solo!). I will defend this position not to the death, but pretty far.
That Birdhouse in Your Soul performance is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. I listen to it all the time.
Thank you for bringing 2) into my life.
Really want to watch the second one but something (“trumpet solo”) tells me it’s not meant to be watched stealthily at one’s desk.
HAD NOT SEEN. MY GOD.
I love #1 but I HAVE NOT SEEN #2 WHY CAN’T I WATCH IT NOW? Now I have something to look forward to after work…besides not being at work. 😀
OMG Loving the Birdhouse in your Soul! I hadn’t seen that before!
Speaking of the Tonight Show, does anyone know how one might go about finding out on which episode a non-celebrity guest appeared? My boyfriend and his son were on there circa 2000, and his ex wife has the only copy of the video and is not the kind of person who would let him make a copy (she was on there too, unfortunately). He doesn’t remember the date, but I would love to find a copy of the episode for him.
Oh dear god, thank you for reminding me about the TMBG performance. I forgot about its existence, and my day just improved 1000%.
One time a friend pointed out to me (accurately!) that Mr DrLadyBusiness looks quite a lot like young John Linnell. Lifelong goal: achieved.
27 is my lucky number and also now has a perfect place in my heart.
6: I bought “Paper Bag Princess” at a tag sale and laughed so hard when I got to the end of it that I insisted on reading it to my daughter again, although she had not requested a re-read.
10: I am SO BAD at BIs, but I always want to know the answer, so yes, bless that person.
13: I explained steampunk to my entire office once, and it was glorious, especially the various facial expressions people went through.
How DO you explain steampunk?? I hate it so much I haven’t even let myself think that far ahead about it.
In my ONE good celebrity encounter story – which, to be fair, is a REALLY GOOD one – I once explained steampunk for the first time to Sam Shepard.
Life has basically gone downhill from there.
My immediate mental image of this event was enhanced by my stubborn brain’s insistence on confusing Sam Shepard and Sam Elliot for a flicker of a second after either of them is mentioned, so I got a brief picture of his craggy, mustachioed face breaking into puzzled surprise as you explained.
Oh man I did the exact same thing.
Sam Eliot once showed my friend how to make the perfect cappuccino! So of course I had the same flicker you did.
Immediately email me about that experience.
God the boer war. Old’ish white people in South Africa.
4, 25, 26
WORD (on the CJ tip in particular, for obvious reasons). I put flamingoes on my wedding invitations, I love her/Alison Janney so much. Weird tribute, but whatever.
it’s true guys, our middle-aged lesbian stoners are really, really top-notch! everyone should move to canada!
I have been trying to find a definitive history (geological, political?,ethnographic) of the Grand Canyon for a while now. I think I’ll just read about death though. Thanks, Nicole!
The first 100 pages of “Beyond the Hundredth Meridian” are about the first expedition to successfully explore and raft the Grand Canyon (in 1869!) and do a fascinating job of covering basic geology and politics (of the time, at least). There’s even a little ethnography because the leader of the expedition, John Wesley Powell, went on to become the head of the ethnology branch of the Smithsonian.
Thanks for the suggestion! I will definitely look into getting that through my local library. I’m thinking about making my NaNoWriMo novel happen at the Grand Canyon and this is research.
Hope you enjoy it! It’s a Wallace Stegner book and I love him. Also the little bits of snarkiness about the non-Powell Colorado expeditions buried in the pages.
#27… but leaving out the word “f-ggot” because it makes you uncomfortable.
What does it say about me that Death in Yellowstone was my souvenir of choice from Yellowstone at….. age 10?
That you need to become friends with lassotabasco posthaste.
SOUL TWINS!
it says you had damn good taste.
(THE SKIN PEELED OFF HIS FOOT LIKE A GLOOOOOVE… remember that one? all I could think of when visiting the hot springs)
I have never been able to forget the lady whose breasts were sliced off by the bear! Vivid childhood reading.
Ohhh Amazon is telling me I can purchase all three Death In… books together for $51! Hmmmm
I came home from a trip to San Francisco/Yosemite with “Blood on the Sea” – it detailed the history of every destroyer lost in WWII. It’s actually one of my favorite books but still – weird reading choices as a 15 year old.
I like all of these things.
My people. I have found them.
I know. I want to hug everyone here.
ok but which theme song is worse: Justified or The L Word (the one for season 2 on, presuming they never got rid of it)
at the risk of biasing people, let me remind you that The L Word one involves words-that-start-with-L-word-association
But the girls in tight dresses! Who drag with mustaches!
The L Word is one of the worst theme songs of all time. I always thought Star Trek Enterprise was the worst but then came the L Word. Oh god.
IT IS SO BAD. I have had arguments with people who hadn’t heard it and claimed that the Justified one must be worse and I was like “No” and “you may come crawling back to discuss this matter once you have listened to The L Word Terrible Song”
Um, that amazing take on My Favorite Things is the only redeeming quality of that terrible, terrible show. 🙁
THIS IS THE WAY THAT WE LUH-UUUH-UUuuH-UUUuuuh-UUUUuuUH-UUUUUUH-uuuuh-UUUUUUH-uuuuuuuuuuuuuve
You gotta be joking about the theme song to Justified, right?
Gangstagrass is the BEST.
I don’t relate to most of these, but hell if I haven’t spent HOURS reading about people falling off the half dome in Yosemite. Need to read those books ASAP.
Ew no, Sean Bean the actual human being IS GROSS. Would not hit. (That’s right, I’ll say it).
I feel extremely validated in my choice of username.
This story really is the best! I remember in the third grade being so inspired by it that I wrote a series of poorly illustrated short stories centered around a sarcastic baseball playing cross-dressing princess. She possibly was named Jack.
Now that my friends have started having kids, I buy it for all of them because I am determined that all of their kids will be baby feminists. Ronald, you are a bum!!
I have the same first name as the princess so it was basically The Best Book when I was a kid.
whispers “i don’t like pappardelle” and runs away.
But…they’re so wide! And flat! Even with, like, a wild mushroom sauce? NO, Nicole, people like different things.
I don’t really like any pasta that isn’t gnocchi?
I am some sort of traitor, I know. It’s all just so slimy and almost-gelatinous even when al-dente.
high five on behalf of every gluten free person in the world still telling ourselves we’re okay without it
So #7 is The Demographic of People with Eyes and a Pulse? Because if there is anyone who doesn’t like shows with Tim Olyphant (yes, we are on a first name basis), hats, and jeans, I don’t want to know them.
Also #7 is particularly timely, as I just lent someone my DVD of Go based on a conversation about Mr. Olyphant.
Seriously what is the deal with Timothy Olyphant though? Without the hat and simmering rage he does nothing for me but with them, HELLO THERE. I mean he even made an 1800s mustache work in Deadwood.
Without the hat and simmering rage he is still really hot to me, but with them? Mesmerizing. I do prefer Raylan’s angry sarcasm over Bullock’s perma-clenched jaw, though.
Oh, Sean Bean! You could have been some one — but so could anyone, and uh let’s not forget about how you TOOK MY DREAMS FROM ME / WHEN I FIRST FOUND YOU
I kept them with me babe. I put them with my own!
Sorry, Sean Bean, but nobody makes a better non-Shane-McGowan Fairytale in New York duet partner than my pop. I have many fond Xmas memories of singing that with Pa Jinx while we drove around town looking at Xmas lights.
If you don’t like Stevie Wonder, I’m not sure I want to know you.
Also, I don’t ride Amtrak enough to have ever corrected someone in the Quiet Car, but oh, the joy I would feel in my soul if I could. As it is, I content myself with warning tourists about the $100 fine for eating on the Metro.
I cannot get enough shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.
I want this explaining steampunk experience so bad. It’s brought attention to a small void inside me that I never knew was there.
recently, i gave my mom a bunch of steampunk books and had to explain what she should expect. then she had a job interview where they asked her what she’d been reading lately and she had to try to explain! IT’S REALLY HARD.
Sam Eliot once showed my friend how to make the perfect cappuccino! So of course I had the same flicker you did.
Oh dear god, thank you for reminding me about the TMBG performance. I forgot about its existence, and my day just improved 1000%.
One time a friend pointed out to me (accurately!) that Mr DrLadyBusiness looks quite a lot like young John Linnell. Lifelong goal: achieved.
#27: GET OUT OF MY HEAD NICOLE
YES! I was a very morbid little girlchild and would read these obsessively whenever we went to visitor centers in National Parks. That imagery has stayed with me ever since. The glove, man. The glove.
So what was that about in the West Wing when they all go to Hollywood and C.J. is like star-struck and then later they have this episode about how she was recruited for the team and her job is hot-shot Hollywood publicist who doesn’t even know about politics. That was a betrayal of C.J.
21 & 23 <3
Easy to confuse. I've lived in both Wyoming and California so I can remember most of the time but still get them mixed up.