It’s Monday. Here we are again.
Here’s a story about gay oil field workers in North Dakota.
My one and only liaison in the oil fields of western North Dakota was with a 23-year-old truck driver. Like most such encounters in the oil patch, ours originated on Grindr, the mobile hookup app for gay, bisexual, and curious men. He sent me a photo, and we traded some biographical details. A few hours later, he was in my room at the Williston Super 8.
After our rendezvous, as the November night air dipped below ten degrees, we took shelter in his car to smoke cigarettes. I was only going to be in the state for 48 more hours, but we made tentative plans to go shooting the next day. I was less interested in exercising my Second Amendment rights for the first time than in extending our easy fling. He just needed to see whether he could get off work that day—no small task for someone accustomed to 16-hour shifts, six days a week.
What do we do with abandoned prisons, though?
At a former prison in the Bronx, the metal bars, steel doors, and other remnants of the building’s carceral past will soon be torn down. Corrections officials have announced today that the Bronx’s Fulton Correctional Facility is being transformed from a minimum security prison into a reentry center for newly released inmates, marking the first time that a prison is being reused in such a way. Fulton has sat empty since 2011, when Governor Andrew Cuomo announced a slew of prison closures to help the state save money. Thirteen state prisons have since been closed.
This should be obvious but don’t steam your vagina.
Racism, man.
Sexism, man.
Jessie Kahnweiler has made a dark short film called Meet My Rapist where the artist is working through her own experience of sexual trauma.
I want to take this class.
At Elle, we hear from a feminist what it is really like to be feminist and sexually submissive.
Two years ago I reconnected with a former lover. We’d had a wonderful sex life, which included rough sex, but had never called it D/s (Dominant/submissive). We were living a few states away from each other and e-mailing, and his dirty talk took on a dominant tone. He said, “I want you to come into the room and stand over here and do what I tell you.” It was like a light bulb going off for me. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t speak for several hours afterward. I thought: That’s exactly what I want.
Ace Hotel is always doing really interesting projects with writers.
Do you need some financial diet tips? There’s a site for that.
Jynne Dilling Martin went to Antarctica and then wrote lovely poems about the experience. That book, We Mammals in Hospitable Times, is out this month.
On the place of emotion in discourse.
Tags: it is monday, link roundup, the internet
Can we discuss the Super Bowl commercials here at all? Because NATIONWIDE. Really, Nationwide?
We were all sitting around Awwww-Ing at the little boy and his dog and then they pulled that shit and someone literally yelled “WAIT, WHAT????”
Also, as a party that was fueled by two growlers and many bottles of local beer, that Budweiser macrobrewing commercial was laughed at. Loudly.
We were also laughing at that! Like, seriously? Your ad campaign is “our beer tastes like shit but at least it doesn’t make you girly and/or gay”?????
The Super Bowl ads are always such an interesting microcosm of “this is our version of masculinity, you should buy your way into it”, but I can’t get over how explicit they all were about it this year. That truck ad that actually had “these women would think you’re sexier if you owned our truck” as the entire, explicit message? Budweiser seemed subtle compared to that.
Years ago met Jim Koch of Sam Adams at a brew fest and thanked him for not sexualizing or making fun of women in his television ads because as a lady beer drinker, that stuff made me angry. He told me that as somebody with a wife and daughters and female friends and, you know, a conscience, he made it a point to treat women as equal human beings who enjoy good beer in his ads. I think about that to this day when I see the horrible, horrible Budweiser ads.
Brb adding “drink a Sam Adams or two” to list of post-partum activities.
Sam Adams’ light beer is, among light beers, one of the very best.
I didn’t see that one. Did it not air in my (very microbrew oriented) region?
To make the Budweiser ad even more nonsensical, according to this article <a href=”http://(http://fortune.com/2015/02/02/did-budweiser-misfire-with-its-anti-craft-beer-super-bowl-ad/):” target=”_blank”>(http://fortune.com/2015/02/02/did-budweiser-misfire-with-its-anti-craft-beer-super-bowl-ad/):
“…Just over a week ago, Budweiser’s parent company bought well-known Seattle craft brewery Elysian . Among the beers that brewery made last year? The Gourdgia on my Mind Pecan Peach Pumpkin Amber.”
Wow, that is messed up. I’m glad I live in a microbrew-rich place….
A-freaking-men.
This beer name brought to you by Bob Belcher.
I have no idea what that Nationwide commercial was advertising. Was it a PSA? Are they selling life insurance policies for kids?
They’re selling it as a PSA. They released a statement before the game was even over — one of my favorite Twitter responses was “I can picture six lawyers feverishly writing at the same desk”
Even as a PSA, like, what exactly was the message? Try to avoid dropping a television on your child? Thanks, got it.
I have FEELINGS about this, because it wasn’t even an informative PSA! I spent some time on the CDC website today because I am that kind of nerd/paranoid parent, and accidents are the no. 1 cause of death for children, but the no. 1 cause of those accidents is not household accidents, but car wrecks. So it was kind of misleading.
I mean, check out the figure on page 27 of this report! Every preventable death is a tragedy, of course, but living in fear of your television is kind of a waste of your time, comparatively.
This is an excellent point. I thought that #1 cause of death stat seemed off. It reminds me of my favorite Onion TV news moment ever when they sequed out of a piece by saying ‘Next, a special feature on how to spice up your kitchen, by imagining hidden dangers!’
EXACTLY. It just stirs up anxiety even among those parents who are already anxious and overthink EVERYTHING around their children. God.
I watched that ad last night next to my friend, a new mother who has gone through HELL to have a child during her second bout with cancer (they had their daughter through a surrogate, after struggling with years of red tape and other complications) and now their daughter’s just five months old. Fortunately my friend is the most practical and nonsensical woman you can imagine, but we both had an uncomfortable “that was weird” reaction to the ad, trying to brush it off as fast as possible.
Ha ha, they were like oh are you having a good time? Eating some snacks, drinking some beer? Cool cool. Oh btw UR KID ARE GONNA DIE.
That one made me equal parts anxiety-ridden and rage-filled.
See also: the domestic violence ad (which actually, was WAAAAYYYYY WAYYYY easier to handle than the Nationwide ad), and then the ad for the new NBC show, based on an incident of hitting a kid (oh-so-creatively titled “The Slap”). Really, Superbowl ads? Really?
that looks like the STUPIDEST concept for a show, like WHO is the target audience? What is the draw to custody battles over child abuse? Its both too upsetting and unfortunately/ commonly mundane.
That’s what I didn’t understand – who are you wanting to watch this?? Who DOES want to watch this? I don’t think I’ll ever understand watching stuff that has to do with child abuse and other triggering topics. But then, I can barely handle Law and Order:SVU, so perhaps I am not the right person to critique this.
“The Slap” is so familiar. I feel sure it is an American remake of an Aussie series. Maybe? Anyone else?
It is a remake of the Aussie series. Melissa George is coming back as Rosie.
Yup. (Source: people talking about it on Twitter.)
I think it is based off a book also.
Yep was a book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Slap-Novel-Christos-Tsi… then a Aussie miniseries and now it’s the US’s turn.
Somehow this makes me feel better about that awful, awful name. It seems much less awful as a novel title.
I’m really glad the domestic violence ad aired and that the NFL paid for it (though again, chump change to them). Also, I’ve seen British PSAs for domestic violence, which are HORRIBLE in comparison (they make you listen to an escalating episode of verbal/physical abuse on the other side of the wall and ask you whether you’d call the police), so I don’t think anyone should be complaining.
I disliked the domestic violence PSA because it basically said nothing other than “The NFL cares about domestic violence! Pay no attention to the fact that Ray Rice is still playing!”. It’s distracting people from their blatant tolerance of domestic violence. I think can think of ads they could have run that would have done something for me, and that was not it.
Hmm. Well, personally I care more about the effect of something rather than the motive of those doing it — if it helped anyone currently dealing with domestic violence, that’s what matters to me. Yeah, it’s shitty that the NFL wouldn’t have aired it at all if Ray Rice hadn’t hit his fiancee, and it’s shitty that their response has been so cynical and shallow. But like with the “It Gets Better” campaign, which you can criticize for a lot of reasons…all I care about is whether kids who might have killed themselves are still alive, able to reach another day where they find another perspective, another reason to live. That’s all.
I would agree if I thought the ad would save anyone’s life, but I believe it actually puts more lives at risk by taking the heat off the NFL. The ad itself says as little as possible– it perpetuates the image of domestic violence as a horror-story-like scenario, rather than reminding people that it can be perpetrated by people they know and respect (like football players). It doesn’t challenge the victim-blaming narratives that make women so afraid to speak out, and it sends no message to men that they will be condemned for committing it. So maybe a few people will visit that website and be helped by it, but by and the large the impact was to make people go “Oh, nice, the NFL is really working on their domestic violence issue”, which will dull the public outcry around it, meaning that players know they can continue beating their wives with no fear of consequences.
Those are good points.
It was reversed for me. The pizza/911 ad made me feel very anxious, but I thought the “I’m dead” kid was hilarious in a ghoulish fashion.
Nationwide: Make sure you have insurance before you murder your children
Nobody wants to talk about “Sorry, it’s a boy?” I have no idea what the commercial was for, I just cackled in misandrist glee when I heard it.
I am still giggling about that moment as of this morning.
SARAH SILVERMAN DELIVERED THAT LINE. I thanked her on Twitter.
I might’ve just been in a really good mood, but I felt like overall there was way less sexism and way more diversity/general positive messages in this year’s ads, even if those messages were designed to sell cars. Not that that means corporations are becoming less evil, but the fact that they can sell more by not being sexist racist dipwads is a sign to me that society overall is getting nicer.
Like the Dove one about dads? Yes, some problems with it, but it was CUUUUUTE. The dad kissing his graduating teen? The dad running to help the kid on the toilet? Or the one who kisses the kid on the monkey bars? I have to say, I loved that commercial and where that trend is heading.
Totally. It’s like, OK, the actual message of this is still “Buy Soap” but it’s a great sign for our society that it’s now more lucrative to say “Be a good dad, buy soap!” than “You’re ugly and fat, buy soap!”
I mean there’s still plenty of ‘you’re ugly and fat buy soap advertising’ out there, but, baby steps.
ALSO. I missed this actually happening but apparently Microsoft paid like a billion dollars for all the game officials to be using the Microsoft Surface, but the commentators kept calling them iPads. So that’s amazing.
Also, all I could think during that Microsoft commercials with the kids using prosthetic legs was “oh dear I hope those work way better than Microsoft 7”.
Lololol, that makes me happy.
Yep, the commercials last night put me on the spot of explaining prosthetics to a seven-year-old, who wanted to know why they gave some of the people curved blades for legs.
Someone on Facebook described that Microsoft ad as “fetishizing prostheses.” I wasn’t sure I agreed with that…? I guess I’d have to see the ad a few more times.
Yeah, that’s a little odd. I can see people feeling like it’s using people’s medical condition and turning them into a cheap inspiration story to sell computers, and that’s shitty. Fetish is kind of a weird word for it though.
I’m so glad to see more and more D/s couples calling out 50 Shades as the utter bullshit that it is, and also to see that article in a very very mainstream magazine.
Wow, that Meet My Rapist film.
The female reproductive tract does not need to be cleaned at all.
Please and thank you.
I really don’t understand the desire to “clean” vaginas. Not to be vulgar, but poop comes out of your anus, and guess what? Your anus is just fine without any special cleaning. The idea that the vagina would need special cleaning when your anus does not is just plain misogyny.
Once, when I was young and foolish, I got into a debate with a YouTube commentor who believed that AIDS was transmitted by buttsex because you got poop on your penis.
I hope this man never went on to have any sex, ever.
Seriously. My vagina takes care of itself; if I feel like it isn’t managing well enough on its own, I take it to a doctor who specializes in its care.
I would like to understand the car commercials that seem to be convinced that I use a car for something other than sitting around in traffic every day.
The financial diet website made my eyes roll just to look at it and of course had helpful grocery-shopping gems such as:
“A mango is designed to cool your body off in hot climates.”
Mmhm.
ughhh that website. considering that it’s a blog about reducing your spending, i think it’s pretty rich that she uses affiliate links up the wazoo for things like $400 wallets.
I’m scrolling through it and finding it super infuriating and I can’t quite pinpoint why. Looks like it’s run by a former Thought Catalog writer, though, so I’m not really surprised that I hate it.
I don’t think you can be a “former” Thought Catalog writer, only “in recovery”.
I’m sure there’s a thinkpiece about the permanence of the Thought Catalog state of mind.
I believe it’s because it’s full of the kinds of financial tips that only apply to you if you already have a bunch of discretionary income and can drastically impact your financial future by buying less lattes.
Also, that “grocery shopping tips list” is just a random amalgam of bad nutrition advice (non-dairy milk is always better for you) andd obvious non sequiturs (don’t buy bad strawberries? wear yoga pants so you feel sporty?).
That seems about right!
I’m very disappointed that the Green brothers appear to have thrown money at this venture.
“Don’t eat a mango in January” for example. Like. What.
“Buy organic wherever you can!” Look, I would love to, but holy shit that stuff is EXPENSIVE. Maybe instead the author could tell us which organic produce is the best value for dollar, given levels of pesticide exposure?
Wait, we’re supposed to buy organic, but only shop at Whole Foods if we earn $70k or have a trust fund? (I was a little miffed by the Whole Foods thing; I never ever eat out, so sue me if I get fancier groceries every once in a while.)
Also: “DON’T let keywords fool you. Of course those tortilla chips are gluten-free. It’s corn.” Okay, but–so what? If you are looking for a gluten-free product, corn tortilla chips might be a good choice, and it’s good to know they haven’t been processed together with wheat products! Are we supposed to be mad at the tortilla chip producers for cheating somehow?
Although I do enjoy whenever there’s a new trend, so foods that have always been [bad thing]-free start advertising it, like how bags of marshmallows now talk about being free of trans fats. They’re good and good for you!
Mushrooms: totally free of cholesterol!
Because it is useless?
God DAMN I hate being given advice by an idiot. My thought process “UGH Christmas was as bad for my wallet as it was for my eating and exercise habits, and I’m having a hard time getting back on track oh cool a blog that might help WELL THIS IS SO STUPID maybe it’s hopeless?”/
Just be thankful that you didn’t read the article about how to avoid buying a $12 salad for lunch. Spoiler alert: did you know you can MAKE salad at home? Ugh.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who hated this site.
This is the kind of advice that drives my fiancee up the wall. “Try having homemade coffee just one day per week, instead of your daily $10 Starbucks” is really not helpful advice when you’re already packing lunches and eating in every day.
Yes. Jesus. This is the classic “don’t buy your daily latte, you’ll save tons!” advice. I go to Starbucks semiannually and eat out twice a month (at exciting places like Local Chinese Takeout! and Pizza Place!) but by all means tell me how I’m being a dumb consumer for not living on beans and rice.
Yeah, and it’s just like. . .that advice is helpful to some people, as is not buying as many lattes. But when you don’t bother to say “If you’re the type of person with enough disposable income to spend on daily luxuries, cutting back could really help your savings!” and just present it as general financial advice, it just perpetuates this idea that everyone, or everyone worth mentioning, is upper middle class.
Ditto…I had high hopes, clicked through. Then found that “No Spend January” was just an embargo on clothes and makeup shopping. And she couldn’t do it.
Great tapestry and all that, but if I figured out that by not spending on clothes and makeup left me with enough money to cover my rent I would be doing some serious soul searching. Not whatever that article was.
Yes that was an interesting experiment… :/
For an actual no spend month, I found this a while ago <a href=”http://(http://www.happysimpleliving.com/category/january-money-diet/)” target=”_blank”> <a href=”http://(http://www.happysimpleliving.com/category/january-money-diet/)” target=”_blank”>(http://www.happysimpleliving.com/category/january-money-diet/) – I didn’t participate so I’m not sure how good it is, but it seems a bit…stricter?
This is the homepage http://www.happysimpleliving.com/home/
That’s depressing. I looked at it and saw the “how much does a dog cost” article and got excited since it’s relevant to my interests (thinking about getting a dog), but her costs for some of the items did seem a bit high… though maybe not? I have no idea!
Yeah, $800 seems like a LOT of money for a mixed-breed accident dog that you’re adopting from a family you found on Craigslist? Most rescues will have some kind of adoption fee, but those are organizations with operating costs. That whole situation sounds super sketchy.
Right? It does say that it covered vaccinations and pee pads, but it’s still far more than I would expect, considering she purchased replacements of those items. Maybe the blanket was $400.
“DO buy a couple sweet potatoes. Like bananas, they’re practically free and microwave to perfection in about 6 minutes.”
Without this helpful tip, I would never even have considered microwaving a banana for six minutes.
(I probably shouldn’t make fun of the sentence structure when there’s so much to complain about in the content, but the thought of a banana that had been microwaved for six minutes was too amusing/horrifying to not share.)
That just made me LOL at my desk and I already had the hiccups and the giggles are feeding the hiccups and vice versa and everyone’s looking at me and it’s just a mess.
So far my Monday has involved a snowstorm and white-knuckled drive to work and a cat peeing directly in front of the litter box. It can only get better from here, right? Because I don’t want to think that mopping up warm cat pee at 7 am is the highlight of my day.
Maybe a nice vaginal steam will make me feel better. As one does. Clean out those fallopian tunes and and all.
After stomping around in snow drifts all commute, I’d be happy to steam any part of my body, vag included.
It does sound like a nice little sauna, really…
“fallopian tunes”
This may be a typo, but I’m choosing to believe it was deliberate and now I’m imagining an off-key cervix and what sort of noise that would make. Actually, maybe steaming would contribute to the out-of-tune-ness. Like the time the marching band was rained on and my flute keys were messed up until the end-of-season cleaning.
https://twitter.com/hashtag/myozobituary?src=hash are the hilarious reactions to the Colleen McC obit-failure
And this one is cool too: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/20…
Due to the lack of paragraphs/quotes on the home page, it looked like Roxane was going to be discussing HER Grindr-facilitated liaison with a 23 year old truck driver in the oil fields of Western North Dakota. Which I would have also definitely read.
Same here. I’ll be pleased to read the story even if it wasn’t Roxane, though.
I thought the same thing!
I’m pretty sure my eyebrow actually raised, Spock-like, while reading that sentence, with the subsequent “my, Roxane has certainly led a far more eventful life than I have!” thought.
I clicked through thinking about how people continually surprise me in ways large and small.
That is exactly what I thought.
RICH TAPESTRY.
Dropping in an “et al.” where it makes no sense is exactly the kind of poncy mistake I expect someone like Gwyneth Paltrow to make in the middle of trying to do something like convince women to steam their vaginas.
Firs’ ya steam it, then ya et it. Best to et it al or it’s just gonna need more steamin’.
Oh, gosh, I hadn’t heard about Colleen McCullough! 🙁
Does anyone think it’s a tad too convenient that the male author of Colleen McCullough’s obituary is *also* dead? And died, like, several years ago? I know obituaries are often written in advance of someone’s death, but STILL. I’m side-eyeing that paper. They probably just gave him a hat, scarf, and new identity.
It just seems like a total cop out. Someone dies and you don’t give the obit a 5 minute proofread prior to publishing? “Oh it isn’t our fault! The original writer is already dead! <sadface>”
We’re clearly in the midst of a Death & the Penguin scenario. Death & the Penguin is the best novel about a Ukrainian man (who owns a pet penguin) writing obituaries for people who end up dead within days that I’ve ever read.
http://www.npr.org/2012/04/24/150972348/death-and…
It made me very curious about HIS obituary.
Lol, point. The last tweet in the article Roxane linked had a good suggestion.
Here you go:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/christoph…
Ah, dang, paywell.
Here’s another (and less sympathetic) –
“Last weekend, the deaths of British sci-fi and general fiction writer Iain Banks and of The Australian commentator Christopher Pearson were announced. Yes, gone is a man who created a series of fantasy worlds — and Iain Banks is also no longer with us. But it’s Pearson I want to talk about.”
http://www.crikey.com.au/2013/06/14/rundle-vale-c…
“You have to come to submission from a place of strength. If you’ve got nothing to offer, that’s not submission; that’s a codependent bullshit relationship.”
I’m glad the author shared about her relationship – the more honest stories we can read by women about their relationships, the better – but to me this sentence sounds judgy about women who wind up in typical patriarchal dominated relationships with men whether or not they want them. Like: it’s your fault, start bootstrapping now and maybe you too can have a “healthy” D/s relationship.
Related: “Cacao.” It’s funny and it’s not.
Did anyone read “The Fire on the 57 Bus” in the NYT this Sunday? The article is about Sasha who identifies as genderqueer and was the target of a hate crime. However, the NYT is having none of that:
“(Telling Sasha’s story also poses a linguistic challenge, because English doesn’t offer a ready-made way to talk about people who identify as neither male nor female. Sasha prefers “they,” “it” or the invented gender-neutral pronoun “xe.” The New York Times does not use these terms to refer to individuals.)”
Well cool for you, nyt. that’s the way to do it.
article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/magazine/the-fi…
I can understand declining to refer to someone as “it” even if that was their preference, because no matter how many times you disclaim it, someone is still going to read that and think you’re just being terrible. But refusing to use “they” or “xe” is just the Times caring more about its own self-image than about the people it covers.
I *almost* felt like that parenthetical was a jab by the writer at the nyt style guide? Maybe I’m being too generous.
I agree, especially given how thoughtful and complex the rest of the article was. I got a real sense of gritted teeth with that parenthetical, like “Yes, I KNOW that Sasha has preferred pronouns, and I KNOW what they are, but I’m NOT ALLOWED to use them.”
Yeah, I definitely had that impression too.
I thought it was entirely a jab at the Times’s style guide. Especially since the writer then went ahead and wrote the article without ever calling Sasha either “he” or “she,” without ever surrendering a graceful prose style.
I was reading that article on the bus this morning and that sentence gave me pause. Still, I just finished it, and I think I’d be more upset if they’d misgendered Sasha. Is it considered disrespectful to just avoid using pronouns altogether when referring to a person? I genuinely don’t know.
All that being said, I thought the article was fantastic. I think the reporter managed to tell an incredibly complicated and emotional story with a nuance that never lost sight of the humanity of everyone involved. It so easily could’ve descended into stereotypes and cliche, and it didn’t.
lol “invented pronoun” as though every other word in the English language were discovered carved into the side of a mountain
Wait, they’re not? Are you saying that my tickets to Strunk and White Mountain are fake?!? youve blown my mind clearly there are no rules now and i dont no whats real or fake i will communicate solely by emoticon from now on 🙁
Strunk and White Mountain 💚💚💚
Yesssss
I would to there, and I would buy a snarky T-shirt.
So really, there’s no linguistic challenge being posed at all, the only challenge arises from a hidebound editorial board.
I am predicting a “Laces OUT!!!” style mental breakdown of the person who decided to pass versus unleashing the beast.
This didn’t occur to me until after the fact, but I read all of the comments about this article without any of the usual “oh god what ignorant hate am I gonna read now” dread that usually comes with reading comments about trans/gender issues. So, thanks to all and the mods! So glad I found the toast
WHY DIDN’T THEY GIVE THE BALL TO MARSHAWN. (sniffle) sorry, guys, I’m still a little emotional over here.
🙁 🙁 🙁 I know, I am still sad too. I’m trying to get excited about the thousands of coaching changes and roster moves they are going to make between now and next season but really I need a minute. Like a long minute.
I DON’T GET IT. THEY HAD 3 DOWNS AND 15 SECONDS BEFORE THEY HAD TO MAKE A CRAZY RISKY PASS PLAY. WHAT.
WORST PLAY-CALLING EVER.
Look, and I mean, I say that as a Steelers fan — we typically throw a screen pass or rush the ball on 3&83 or whatever.
It was a morose fucking night in Seattle. There was more than one bar fight by the end of my shift (by that I mean I was at the bar for 12 hours yesterday, which we typically refer to as a “full shift”. I was helping clear glasses and selling raffle tickets, but that’s just because I’m friends with the owners and bartenders.)
And then it was raining so hard this morning, like even the sky was sad/hungover.
Toasties, can we talk about Left Shark???
LEFT SHARK 4EVA
I have had my issues with Serena Williams in the past, but can we ignore the Super Bowl for a minute and just say SERENA. FUCKING. WILLIAMS. Her greatness continues to grow.
I came here to say MISSY ELLIOTT. Holy hotdogs, that was amazing.
yesss, i was so happy to see missy doing her thing.
i was bummed but then kind of chuckling to myself that she didn’t get to rap any actual verses from “work it”—because that song is diiiiiirty.
i’m so disappointed and frustrated by w. kamau bell’s experience at elmwood cafe. it sounds like the owners are handling it about as appropriately as possible (apologizing, firing the employee, organizing a public forum with w. kamau bell) but, ugh.
can i just say that w. kamau bell went light on this employee? i used to work in the neighborhood—only a few doors down from elmwood, in fact—and the corner that elmwood cafe is on is pretty much ALWAYS occupied by one or two folks, usually selling street spirit papers. there’s sometimes even a lady who sets up a card table and discusses languages with people. shoppers and strollers on that one block can expect to be solicited at least several times from one corner to the next—if not by one of the 5 or 6 “regulars,” then by a changing cast of charity clipboard workers. and no one, not the business owners, nor the strollers, ever, ever tell these folks to scram, git, get lost, whatever. it doesn’t even make sense for the employee to couch their reasoning in “oh i thought he was trying to sell something.” for someone who knows the neighborhood, it rings so false, it’s like an additional slap in the face. this was 100% elmwood’s employee being a racist piece of garbage.
The whole thing is so insane. I do not live there, nor have I been there in recent memory, but if I WERE being solicited while on a patio, I feel like an employee knocking on the window would be disruptive and embarrassing and weird. It’s 100% racism, and it’s horrifying.
You’re right. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t that surprising – there have been a lot of domestic violence PSAs airing lately, and that’s a great thing. I think it was just a shock to the system initially to see that after the Nationwide ad. But I agree, it was well done (which was why it was easier to digest), and it wasn’t trying to sell something, it was just a PSA. As it should be.
ETA: Meant to be a reply to redheadedwolf above.
Oh yes — and I hope I didn’t come across as criticizing you, specifically. I was thinking about other complaints I’ve seen.
I think I’m getting old because The Financial Diet makes me SO EXCITED. Like, affordable recipes? No-buy January? How to invest in affordable basics? I’M LIVING ON STUDENT LOANS AND LOVE THIS STUFF.
FINANCIAL DIET YES!
Look look it’s Brittney Griner’s Say Yes To The Dress episode!
Here’s my bougie financial tip of the day. If you’re going to shop for clothes, buy consignment. I just got a black suit that fits well enough for TWENTY THREE DOLLARS. I also saw a gorgeous Max Mara suit for $95, sadly not in my size, but it will make some professional lady very happy.
Cosigning this! I get so many nice pieces from the consignment shop. It’s more eco-friendly that way, too.
OK I just have to share this little conversation here.
Me: Albums I just bought: Taylor Swift; Sleater Kinney. Not sure what this says about me.
Husband: It says that sleaters gonna slate slate slate.
Me: Well played.
(You all finally convinced me to listen to Taylor Swift. I … like it?)
It is a strange time in each of our lives when we learn that we do, after all, love Taylor Swift. You are not alone. Try to enjoy this strange journey.
……I may have left a snide comment on that Financial Diet blog. That part about how nice it would be to spend under $50 on groceries for one–I don’t know if my case is rare, but I tend to spend under that for a week of fairly decent food for myself. I’m on basically a student budget, but I still eat good food without breaking the bank. That woman’s whole website just reeks of privilege. Call back when you’ve had some experience away from your pricy little NYC apartment.
It is a strange time in each of our lives when we learn that we do, after all, love Taylor Swift. You are not alone. Try to enjoy this strange journey.
I would agree if I thought the ad would save anyone’s life, but I believe it actually puts more lives at risk by taking the heat off the NFL. The ad itself says as little as possible– it perpetuates the image of domestic violence as a horror-story-like scenario, rather than reminding people that it can be perpetrated by people they know and respect (like football players). It doesn’t challenge the victim-blaming narratives that make women so afraid to speak out, and it sends no message to men that they will be condemned for committing it. So maybe a few people will visit that website and be helped by it, but by and the large the impact was to make people go “Oh, nice, the NFL is really working on their domestic violence issue”, which will dull the public outcry around it, meaning that players know they can continue beating their wives with no fear of consequences.
Once, when I was young and foolish, I got into a debate with a YouTube commentor who believed that AIDS was transmitted by buttsex because you got poop on your penis.
I hope this man never went on to have any sex, ever.