This is a good entrance to make, I think:
***
She’s apparently also working on a TV show that she describes as a “bisexual dating comedy,” which is a phrase that would normally make me squirm (SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA STILL BURNS IN MY MEMORY) but in this case comes with a hearty side of YES THANKS:
Much like the main character, Akhavan is also Iranian-American and bisexual, but while the film draws on her experiences, it is not autobiographical. “It’s a really nice balance between the very true, honest-to-my-life emotions I was feeling at the time, but then not exactly the events,” says Akhavan. “I never experienced the events in the film outside of, yes, I came out to my family and, yes, I was going through a really heartbreaking break-up, my first break-up with a woman. But the details of my life would never be interesting in a 90-minute narrative. So it was a fun challenge of what are the scenarios we need to put this woman through to get her on the other side of this? And what does the other side even look like? We decided it looks like the first time you see your ex without wanting to die, the first time you can not projectile vomit after you see this person who used to hold so much emotion.”
While there has been an ever increasing diversity of gender and sexuality showing up on the big and small screen, bisexuality gets comparatively little air time. When asked what she thinks of the media portrayal of the sexual orientation, Akhavan replies, “I don’t see bisexuality portrayed in movies and pop culture, actually. There’s a bias, there’s a discomfort, it’s taboo.”
***
Oof, oof, oof.
I have lived thirty years in these thirty days. I am thirty years sadder. I feel like I am thirty years wiser.
I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. She has fought to hold back her own tears to make room for mine. She has explained to me that the anguish I am feeling is both my own and my children’s, and I understood that she was right as I saw the pain in her own eyes.
***
Thanks to Anne Helen Petersen for letting us know about RIPPED MOMS
***
Oh man, oh MAN, you guys have GOT to take this virtual tour of the Son Doong cave. I know I am an easy sell for caves, but this was one of the must stunning experiences I’ve had online in a very long time. Also, this made me laugh:
***
“The most relaxed [manatee] orgy you’ll ever see.”
***
“More than 10,000 people live on the Salton Sea, a manmade lake in southern California. As water is diverted to coastal cities suffering under four years of drought, the state will stop replenishing the lake in 2017, lending an air of decline and decay to the area.” You cannot add more decline and decay to the Salton Sea! It’s already creepier than an abandoned carnival! You’re going to have to start issuing headless dolls and dirty eagle feathers to residents!
***
“But it appears that, at least for now, cases like Matanov’s and Kernell’s are still fair game. The Supreme Court did not answer the pressing question of how broadly federal prosecutors are allowed to use Sarbanes-Oxley in the digital age. Can you be prosecuted for deleting a potentially incriminating tweet? For uninstalling Firefox? For clearing your browser history? How much of their digital data should citizens have to preserve in case law enforcement wants to take a look?
In March, Matanov pleaded guilty to all four counts of obstruction of justice. When he entered his plea, he told Judge William G. Young that he maintains his innocence but fears a decades-long sentence were he to go to trial. His plea agreement with prosecutors calls for a 30-month sentence—still a harsh punishment for little more than deleting videos and clearing his browser history. Matanov’s sentencing hearing is scheduled for June.”
***
“Somebody just ordered bugs on Amazon and we decided to do it,” Reminga said.
***
The wee kitten is visiting for a few days and he and Milo are BEGRUDGING PALS. (Milo has exiled himself to the couch.)
Obviously, a billion pictures and updates to follow.
Tags: link roundup, the internet
JEEVES.
Also. Let’s be real. Any manatee orgy is probably the most relaxed manatee orgy. They could not be more chill if they were refrigerated.
I remember being at an aquarium … sea world San Diego most likely, and watching the Manatees gather up into their typical orgy ball formation when a small child piped up “Mommy what are they DOING?”
she didn’t skip a beat ” HUGGING, they’re hugging to stay warm!”
I feel like capybaras could give them a run for their money though.
Wait where is the Jeeves-related link? Am I just oblivious?
Jeeves is the wee-er of the two kittens in the bottom photo! Mallory is kitten-sitting him.
ohhh right, thank you!
Ain’t no orgy like a manatee orgy, hey, ho!
’cause it don’t stop?
Because a manatee orgy is mandatory?
I showed my coworker Jeeves’ Instagram feed yesterday and I swear, the squealing could be heard from miles away.
Milo does not look convinced that such a wee version of cat-kind is necessary, but will have to be tolerated for the time being.
RELATED NOTE on the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, I recently read a highly amusing decision by the Supreme Court, in which they held that a fish is not a “tangible object” for purposes of the statute.
They concluded that the term “tangible object” in the Sarbanes-Oxley Act only includes objects “used to record or preserve information,” and that the section’s verbs, such as “falsifies” and “makes a false entry in,” would not readily apply to objects like fish.
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
So, I guess the lesson here is to record all of your crimes by writing them on fish.
that right there is a loophole
brb writing all my crimes into the genetic code of a fish
That would actually make a pretty great sci-fi story.
See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nix_v._Hedden
I WAS AT THE SUPREME COURT THAT DAY AND IT WAS AMAZING. Notorious RBG peppered the decision with FISH PUNS.
As if she weren’t already my hero! I went as her for Halloween a couple years ago, and it brought the house down.
This was exactly what I needed to know, right now, to brighten my day.
I learned about that case in choir rehearsal, from one of our basses (no pun, shut up) who is a high-powered local attorney. Ah, how we laughed.
Isn’t that a thing in The Snow Queen? Someone writes a message on a stockfish (a whole dried codfish—you can fit a lot on one of those!)?
In Crete they had the Minotaur
who hunkered in a maze
they knew him by his mighty roar
and his bullish gaze
And Persia had its manticore
with its lion’s frame
on its leathern wings it’d soar
eating men its aim
But now we have the manatee
who wouldn’t hurt a fly
he’s happy to be floating free
beneath the swampy sky
This child of Trichechidae
is peaceful as can be
there’s no need to wonder why
this Gandhi of the sea
So whenever you are on the sea
keep an open eye
don’t irritate the manatee
he’s such a lovely guy
aaaaaaw. I’m picturing this sung to a nice relaxing melody while glibly grinning manatees drift by.
Well done. Thanks!
I seem to be stuck in iambic tetrameters lately…
IKTITOTB (I Know This Isn’t the Open Thread But) Toasties who wear athletic stuff, just around–how do you prevent visible undercrackers? I was trying on leggings the other day and it made me really self-conscious and how do you wear workout gear, I don’t even know.
I only buy loose-fitting pants and shorts. Target and Old Navy both have decent stuff for cheap.
Victoria’s Secret and Under Armour make ‘athletic thongs’ that are pretty seamless underneath workout leggings. I have a pair UA compression pants that leave NOTHING to the imagination (but actually keep me really cool and sweat free) and when I wear an athletic thong you can’t even see it. The trick is to smooth things out after you get your pants on because the pulling up of pants tends to roll underwear into noticeable lumps.
But girl, the struggle is real.
Printed leggings to distract the eye, clothing that fits well (underwear that’s too small creates more lines and bulges), and/or just not giving enough of a damn to be bovvered all work for me. I personally don’t bother with thongs, although I know people who prefer ’em, but I also legitimately don’t notice whether other people have VPL. Now, dude with the sides of his tank top cut down to his waist? Him I notice. With opprobrium.
I have four or five pairs of microfiber knickers that avoid VPL under my running tights, but in general I wear tunic-length shirts or a running skirt over capris or tights so that kind of takes care of things from the opposite angle.
Alternately, you could go commando, but I… do not prefer that. Many of my running ladyfriends do, but it leads to unpleasantness of MANY VARIETIES for me.
Granny panties. I think I look downright smokin’ in ’em, too. Full coverage briefs 5EVAH.
WHOOOO I love my Hanes cotton hipsters. You know what’s sexy? Being comfortable.
ETA: Nothing wrong with thongs if that’s your thing. But properly cut hipsters/briefs that aren’t too tight will actually fall perfectly at the butt/thigh juncture and therefore not create VPL.
YES Hanes Cotton Hipsters. I get sad on days I do not wear them and there is any issue with panties on any level.
No underwear under leggings for me… is this weird? I hope it’s not too weird.
I never wear ’em with workout clothes. Why would you?
I mean legging type ones, not flappity-flap breezy short-short ones. That would be obscene.
It would FEEL luscious, though.
Same here. Unless there’s some pressing need for underwear (only one pair of leggings must last three days, or I can’t be sure what’s coming out of there) then I just go for the VPL.
I would have to wash them after one wear if I did that.
The Toast, where I can ask embarrassing questions and get actually helpful answers. Thanks y’all!
Seamless, sweat-wicking hipster-stype briefs. I’ve built up a collection from victoria secret (“yoga” collection, when they are on sale), and Reebok (sold at Dick’s, or probably other places, idk). I buy one size bigger to avoid any bulging. Love them because I don’t notice the sweat, and they DO NOT MOVE regardless of the activity (running, biking, hiking, yoga–literally anything).
I don’t know how people go commando. Uncomfortable, plus chafing, plus never wearing the same pair of tights/shorts more than once before washing? No, thanks.
Public service announcement — if you are wearing cycling clothes with padding in the crotchular area you DO NOT WEAR UNDIES with them. You will be uncomfortable, and the shorts won’t do their anti-chafing, wicking jobs.
It makes me wince when I see VPL with padded bike shorts. That defeats the point of bike shorts! If you can comfortably wear undies, you don’t need the bike shorts.
(Oh lord, the underwear culling that happened when I started using my bicycle as my primary transportation. Some underwear feels like nothing, others bunch up like crazy in the worst spot imaginable.)
I just…don’t worry about it. I feel like that about does it for me–if it’s comfortable, it’s all good. I also like hipster briefs.
Another wonderful Toastie commented (and I wish I could find it) that when she feels self-conscious, she imagines the Onion headline “Area Woman Wearing Underwear”.
For what it’s worth, I subscribe to Fabletics and they have the best seamless underwear – they’re kind of expensive but I think these are pretty similar.
And seconding what bluecrayon said: smoothing everything out is key!
Buy more expensive pants. Seriously all of mine are Athleta or Lululemon, because all the less expensive ones were, uh, not modest.
OH YOU MEANT UNDIE LINES. Fancy undies just for that help, but(t) I just stopped caring.
My approach is to completely not care if the lines show! I refuse to be scandalized if other people know I am wearing underwear.
Some combination of not caring about underwear lines that much (especially during athletic times) and boy briefs that sit in the underbum area where they are less likely to show. I am personally a fan of the American Eagle cotton boy shorts (like these http://www.ae.com/aerie/browse/product.jsp?produc…. For whatever reason they fit my bottom just right in a way that no other similar ones seem to.
I mean, I don’t really CARE if someone at the gym sees my underwear lines… I usually get dark grey or black pants so you’re not going to see through them onto the PATTERN of my undies, but I figure everyone wears underwear so IDGAF.
I know that’s not helpful but it’s all about the ~philosophy,~ maaaaannnnn.
The ladybug prank happened at my former high school (class of ’08!), and the general consensus among the people I’m still in touch with from there tends to be kind of confused bemusement because of all of the attention the story’s gotten. (It’s very weird to see your high school as the top trending topic on Facebook).
I mean, the kids broke into the school, set off the alarms (which alerted the police) and are being charged with fourth-degree burglary, property destruction and disruption of school activities, which seems fair. From what I’ve heard from current students the place was a huge mess afterwards, the ladybugs got into the heating and air vents, broke the air conditioning system, were in all of the light fixtures to the point where some of them were essentially blacked out, and the school had to order a specialist to come out and get rid of the bugs. Not being able to walk in the graduation ceremony doesn’t seem like that harsh of a punishment, it’s not like their diplomas are being withheld altogether.
I once had a ladybug fall from the ceiling into my coke, which I then drank. I can tell you, ladybugs taste BAD. I suspect they have some chemical defense.
You are correct. They can also give off a powerful stink.
They shoot their blood out of their knees as a defense mechanism!
Not being allowed to walk in graduation sounds like a reward tbh.
for reals. i would have paid cash money to get out of walking in graduation *sigh*
My high school was the one where that kid stabbed all those kids outside of Pittsburgh and I can confirm that seeing your high school, small town, etc. all over the news is SUPER weird. It almost felt like someone was like, in my childhood bedroom, you know?
For the record, I hate pranks, because even ones that sound harmless and funny likely involve a lot of cleanup and inconvenience. Something like the lady bugs probably sounded cute and funny, and of course, being teenagers who maybe don’t know all that much about HVAC systems, lighting, etc., they didn’t really think about the implications. But STILL didn’t someone in that group of people go “hm hang on you guys….” Because I’m an asshole that probably would have been me 😀
I bet that “hmmm maybe not” point came after the ladybug package arrived. I wonder what I would do if I had 72,000 ladybugs and had decided my original plan for them was a no-go. That almost sounds like a good setup for a sitcom episode.
But yeah the article makes it sound like whoops, we tripped and fell into a ladybug-releasing hole, there was no way to turn back, gravity just took over, no one here was actively involved!
oh
my
god
the linked article completely failed to express just how big a mess these kids caused. “kids being kids!” is the vibe it gave off.
I haven’t seen a detailed article about the aftermath, I’ve just been hearing things through people who went to/currently attend the school, so I can’t really vouch for the full accuracy of it all. But from what I’ve heard it was pretty messy there, and I’m sure that they’ll still be finding ladybugs in there for awhile! The students (and most of the articles I’ve seen reporting it) may have seen it as just “kids being kids”, but there were definitely issues that arose from the prank that weren’t addressed in the article!
I did see today that as of last week the charges were dropped in exchange for each student performing 100 hours of community service.
Hopefully some of those hours include sweeping bug corpses out of AC ducts.
After going through hell to get a house built, Mr. Rose and I had a close encounter with ladybugs. The builder was later under federal indictment which, in retrospect, explains so much about how hard it was to Get Things Done with him. We were bankrupting ourselves living in tiny temporary housing while paying to store aaaaaalll our furniture (don’t marry a packrat, Toastfriends). Finally got to closing and signed all the papers, after which we were given the keys to our new house and property. “It’s all yours now.”
Drove to our new house and had not even entered the driveway when we were shocked at the sight of the house. One of us had been physically present for a portion of every day of construction. There should be no surprises. “Why does it look like that? What’s wrong with it?”
The gray siding we picked out to complement the many visible boulders on our wooded lot was … wrong. It was pebbled. Spotted. Densely. We were hyperventilating by the time we got close enough to see it was just ladybugs. Thousands of them swarming on the only large surface in full sun on that beautiful October afternoon.
Well that’s a disturbing image!
I have one spot in my yard were I every few years find baby ladybugs growing up. But that’s just like 8 or 10 of them. Can’t imagine how much less cute an entire wall (or school) of them would be.
I had something similar happen to our family home, only we had been living there for years. My sister and I were the only ones home when one side of the house was all of a sudden covered by ladybugs, and they were crawling in through gaps in the windows and doors. We ended up duct taping off all the windows while leaving slightly hysterical, slightly apocalyptic messages on our parents’ cell phones
We used to get floods of them every summer, probably from people buying them for gardening purposes. They would invade everywhere in the house.
I mean personally I’d be willing to cut them a deal: drop the charges, let ’em come to graduation, no harm, no foul if they catch and eat all the ladybugs before the ceremony. Every single one.
I heard about Appropriate Behaviour a while ago and need to see it, thank you so much for this as I now know it is available for download.
That cave tour was spectacular. Thank you.
I’m going to have to count it as one of the great tragedies of my life that I can’t get the manatee orgy video to load.
Iranian-Americans/Iranian-Canadians represent!! There are so few of us (third culture/first gen kids) in media, let alone LGBTQ, as our immigrant parents tend to get the limited & usually racist limelight. Being Iranian and queer is such a taboo, it’s never surprising to hear “There are no gays in Iran” from our parents’ generation because of homophobia and pure ignorance.
My best friend is half-Iranian and lesbian & that shit isn’t easy. A few years ago, NPR wanted to interview her to talk about being Iranian and queer, but she (rightly) didn’t want to become some poster girl for ~exotic lesbians~
Props to Desiree Akhavan for raising the profile of bisexuality & Iranians in the media, because doing that with Iranian parents takes true strength!
I’m Iranian-British but when my parents came over here (my mum is English), my aunts (who had all married Iranians) went to the US, before the revolution. So I have a lot of Iranian-US cousins.
I’m not sobbing at work over the Cheryl Sandberg post, *you* are!
ETA: Seriously, that was heart-wrenching and beautiful. And I did just sob a bit. Thank god it’s summer and I’m alone.
Her poor kids. I’m 31 and steadfastingly refuse to believe my parents might someday die. So horrible to have to face at that age.
We Interrupt This Post to Bring You Your Daily Mad Max: The Obsession Continues Update — Etsy has taken this to a whole new level of ridic. A taste:
I am in desperate need of mad max fanfic. Send any and all recs my way.
Oh honey. I’m not into that but Tumblr has got you way covered. It’s like 98% that right now.
Ha. Thanks!
A friend of mine has been making her way through all the Nuxable stuff on AO3. Lemme email her to get recs and if she responds, I’ll post links.
Honestly I just went to ao3 (http://archiveofourown.org) and typed “nux/capable” into the search window and just read everything that sounded appealing.
You could also search for “mad max fury road” I imagine.
HI CLEVERMANKA
Kitty Doof Warrior! Brilliant!
That’s on Etsy? LINK PLEASE.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/233643275/mad-max-fu…
It’s been a surreptituously-crying-at-work day, and this cheered me up immeasurably, so thank you 🙂
BUT WHERE IS CHEEDO (Cheetah?)
This makes me so happy. All the Mad Max things, please! (One of my friends is working on a ginormous Doof Warrior cross-stitch and I am in awe.)
This is the most delightful Fury Road anecdote I have encountered thus far:
We’d knit. There are photos of Nick, all muscular in leather pants with his head shaved, knitting a scarf. He made a ton of stuff. He made all our Christmas presents. I think Tom got in on it. But he dropped a lot of stitches. Not a world class knitter in my opinion.
– Charlize Theron in Empire, June 2015.
I’d often go to yoga and – you’ll laugh – Charlize Theron taught me how to knit. So there was a lot of variety. There are even a few photos of me in leather pants and war paint, knitting. I’d get really mad if I lost my place… These days, I don’t even have to look down anymore. By the end of the year I’d made some knitted Christmas presents. And: I was much better than Tom Hardy.
– Nicholas Hoult brags about his knitting prowess.
Tom Hardy: not a world class knitter.
Where does one encounter such glorious anecdotes??
Tumblr!!!
These particular ones came from Noelle Stevenson’s tumblr. Thus far she’s only linked to some pretty awesome fanart, but I’m hoping she might do some herself!
I found these awesome pixel art gifs in my Twitter feed earlier (more at link):
https://www.behance.net/gallery/26428843/MAD-MAX-…
That cave tour was so cool! Looking at the camps was amazing…just imagining waking up to that scenery every day!!
Would anyone be interested in discussing the Duggar molestation story? This the only place I’d be interested in engaging in conversation about it, but I’ve had lots of thoughts about some of the recent developments. I’ll put them in a reply in case anyone is really not into this (which I totally get)…
I feel like the media is not brave enough to discuss the impact that religion has on sexuality, and to what degree it may lead to abuses like this occurring. I have always thought it terribly unfair and cruel that these Duggar kids were paraded around and worshipped for their purity/ virginity. The idea that they were all virgins until marriage has been pushed really hard, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the kids actually abstained from sexual relations, or if they had to hide it hardcore. Either way, it seems inescapable that a lot of psychological and development damage would be done. I hesitate to say that demonizing sex leads to molestation, but I’ve just been terribly disappointed that everyone is so quick to point fingers of blame, and yet a larger context is never examined.
I’ve noticed this, too. There was that article posted on the Toast last week about the larger context of Christian patriarchy and its effect, but certainly it’s been ignored by most media outlets. That said, the demonization of sex (something that was prevalent where I grew up) seemed to lead more to unprotected sex and guilt than actual molestation. I know lots and lots of people who took purity pledges. Many actually abstained until marriage, but the majority had bumpy but ultimately fairly uneventful roads to a healthier sexuality (although there were probably a lot more close calls, especially in terms of pregnancy).
The Duggars, though, are a weird case because of their publicity. Although Josh is definitely at fault for what he did (14 is old enough to know better), he was still a juvenile and the blame ultimately rests on his parents for not doing more about it and most importantly for not doing a better job of protecting and then getting appropriate help for the victims. It sounds like they decided to do the TV show *after* this happened, which shows where their real priorities are. This is my biggest (okay, one of, I have a lot) beef with the evangelical community. The chance to convert people always comes before everything else, including your family’s health and well-being (see: various members of my extended family).
They were actually filming a Discovery special at the same time as the CPS investigations in 2006ish! The weekly tv show was later, but all this was going on at the time of the “14 Kids and Pregnant Again” series of specials.
ETA: Also, I agree that there’s something wrong with Josh that he did this, but I put a lot more weight on the oppressive and repressive environment he was in. I’ve seen a lot of stories from people raised in those kinds of communities where literally nothing is taught to the kids about anything to do with sex – not the names of the body parts, not good touch/bad touch, not even how it works to make babies. They just know “sex is bad”. They have literally no idea that what they’re doing is related to sex until someone tells them.
Nonetheless, if they’re curious and touching/peeking under cover of darkness, they have to know there’s something taboo… but at the same time, to them, everything is equally sinful, and if everything is wrong, then nothing is. If the consequences aren’t that awful when they steal a cookie from the jar, or lie about something, why wouldn’t it be so bad if they just want to know what a girl’s sex parts look/feel like? etc. (Ugh it’s disgusting to type this, but this is what I’m seeing people from these backgrounds talk about, and I had a little bit of the same, growing up Catholic, except I went the opposite direction of thinking I was on the level of a murderer for looking at myself in the mirror when I walked past, because vanity, rather than thinking these sins were nothing)
They have literally no idea that what they’re doing is related to sex until someone tells them.
This is 100% true. I recently listed to the audiobook of Doc: The Rape of the Town of Lovell. The victims were all fundamentalist Mormon girls who has no idea what was going on until after the fact.
Obviously the book made me rage at the rapist, but is made me equally rage at a church that prioritizes “purity” over safety.
Shit, now I’m angry all over again just from typing this RAWRRRR
It’s upsetting to me that I keep seeing people talk about this MAJOR PROBLEM amongst fundamentalist purity cultures, but then no one seems to really address it. It’s like the survivors are being ignored?? and no one acknowledges that this is what abstinence/ignorance education leads to.
UGH that is rage inducing. Seems to me that when one of your sons molests 4 of your daughters, that is CRISIS TIME and you do your best to parent like never before. But instead they chose to shut it down and focus on a TV career. Fucking unforgivable.
Apparently Josh went to his parents THREE TIMES to confess what he did, and all three times they essentially gave him a pat on the head and told him to run along. Like, holy shit, I think he’s grown up to be a vile person (and I’m sure being treated as though his behaviour had no negative reprecussions had no influence on that fact at all) but the fact that he actually did try to seek help as a teenager and his parents ignored the issue is just mindblowing.
Right???
But there’s this creepy culture of confession that they have. You have to confess your sins first, before someone else accuses you. Then it’s all good and fine because you clearly recognized the error of your ways and didn’t need a prompt. We can’t know what was going through Josh’s head. Did he come crying because he felt bad and wanted help, or because he knew there was something wrong about it and acknowledging his actions first would make it go away?
And then the parents didn’t even act until he did something in front of all the kids (I think to the youngest sister?) and it couldn’t be ignored. >:-| (but CPS didn’t get involved until more than 3 years later, naturally, so who knows what else hasn’t been revealed)
The public spotlight on their virginity is so icky and it makes their current situation 1000x harder. I have had a sort of kitsch interest in the Duggars since they’ve been on TV and whenever the topic comes up around straight dude friends it’s always the same thing– ooh, I’ve always had this secret fantasy about seducing a religious good girl like that. Which is super creepy but also totally not unexpected. That’s like half the reason people are interested in the Duggars– even before the molestation came to light, there was a whole lot of weird sex stuff on display. I can’t imagine what it feels like to spend your whole life being told that purity and modesty are the most important things even as you’re being creepily sexualized in front of the national media. And then to add a history of abuse on top of that… I really hope this show gets cancelled. If only because they need to give their children an opportunity to live normal (ish) lives.
My first reaction to your story about guys saying they have fantasies of seducing a good religious girl is “SLAP THEM IN THE FACE!” But then I realize that is the equivalent reaction that most people are having to this molestation scandal. It’s definitely more productive to address the issue of WHY men feel it is okay to have that fantasy, and why our society perpetuates the ideal of virgin = good girl, and corrupting that = manly. I agree – I hope the show is cancelled and that they all get the serious counseling they need.
Exactly. I think that fundamentalist christian concerns about virginity are driven in part by the same kind of prurient interest in women’s sexuality. And that the men like Jim Bob Duggar who flaunt their daughters’ purity and wholesomeness are engaging in the exact same kind of “dominant male” behavior as the guys who watch the show wondering what it would be like to get with a Duggar girl. Either way, the daughters are stuck acting out this gross, sexually charged sideshow even while they’re trying to deal with sexual trauma– shame on everyone, both within their family and in the wider world, who put them in this situation.
And I hate that the manly part is that it’s “corruption” and not “helping her explore her natural sexuality.”
I’m afraid that if the show gets canceled, the exact opposite of what you hope will happen. Remember their frumpers? They only started shifting to more normal clothes because of the show, and because of the frumpers were alienating potential converts/fans/sources of income. There are any number of families in the extended Duggar communities (ATI, IBLP…) that still dress that way. Though, of course, there are families that allow their daughters to wear pants but may be even worse because they’re not in the spotlight.
I’d love for the show to be canceled instead of this hiatus thing it’s currently on, but I worry that removing that microscope they’re living under would allow for even more of the abuses that abound in quiverfull families. Though I suppose if you look at Cynthia Jeub’s story of the film crews in their house, it wasn’t a huge difference from when they weren’t there.
Ahaha, no way would the media ever have an honest conversation about the impact religion has on sexuality. That is completely taboo, because this brand of Christianity is the BRAVEST and must never be criticized. Also, the public would turn on them and call for their show to be shut down, and it might actually happen in order to appease them and save the rest of the network.
But like naglayaxuliganka said, I don’t know if that repressive Christian environment is wholly responsible for what Josh did. It’s more likely to be furtive sex exploration with someone his own age. And God, it turns my stomach to hear them minimizing what he did and the damage to their other children.
I know. I am in no way surprised the media (especially mainstream) has not tackled the issue of religion in this story at all, but I cannot keep myself from being disappointed time and time again.
I wouldn’t say a repressive religious environment is wholly responsible for this, either. But I so sincerely wish people would be more willing to discuss how demonizing sex during a teenager’s formative years can contribute to a deeply unhealthy view of sex.
Not mainstream media, but this piece today does a lot of the conversational work that is missing elsewhere! http://thesocietypages.org/girlwpen/2015/06/03/th…
If you want to have fun* look up old DogEmperor blogs on DailyKos about Dominionism, Bill Gothard, etc. from about 2007-2008. Gothard and the Pearls (“To Train Up a Child” – ie. teaching that you should start training/beating children from infancy) are the Duggars’ major influences/cult leaders.
*by fun I mean HOLY SHIT this is a deep hole of terrifying, and I was following DogEmperor back then and on the Dark_Christian LJ community, and it’s only just now that some of this stuff is starting to be whispered about on news blogs, because of Josh Duggar’s scandal.
also, favorite part: the molestation was an open secret amongst the fundamentalist circles in NWA for years, but because of the way it was handled, no one could do much about it, and this finally got to InTouch because of a woman protesting the Duggars after she was robocalled by Michelle during the 2014 election season about how trans people are pedophiles, etc. An InTouch reporter saw her in the news and her Instagram posts and reached out to her to get background on the rumors and put in an FOIA to see if there was any truth, and here we are.
I am so so so so concerned about the girls’ response to their abuse – during the family interview with Megyn Kelly, one of them said what he did (or I guess the reports of what he did? even though the parents have confirmed the situation???) “so overboard and a lie really.” I am aghast. Their parents have brainwashed them. How will they treat their daughters if their sons commit the same crime?
A comment I read on a story recapping the interview pointed out that it’s quite possible that the only reason the story is coming out now is because both of the girls are married and therefore they will not be viewed as “impure” to anyone courting them. Which is probably a little exaggerated, as I’m sure (I hope) they disclosed this to their husbands before marriage, but still.
Also: don’t even get me started on how when it all first happened and the Duggar parents finally acknowledged that it was actually a serious issue, they took it to the police… and the police ignored it until the statute of limitations ran out… and the specific policeman who they reported it to was later convicted on child pornography charges. DO NOT TELL ME that they didn’t know he was a “safe” person to tell about this, that they didn’t know he was the one who would sweep it under the rug. No way that was just their dumb luck. I am not a conspiracy theorist normally, but there is something more insidious brewing under the story that just hasn’t come out yet.
Source for most of what I’m saying/recapping here (I refuse to watch Fox News so I am taking another news site’s word on the details): http://www.vulture.com/2015/06/duggars-abuse-inte…
hahaha
re: the first report to the cop friend
Megyn Kelly: did you know about [Hutchens’s] issues [with child pornography]?
Michelle Duggar: oh, that came out YEARS later!!
A+ non-answer there, lady.
How did I miss that the Jem and the Holograms trailer came out and the entire internet hated it.
I too have a sad that The Misfits aren’t in it (in retrospect, their songs WERE better) and that it looks like a more dour version of Josie and the Pussycats, a movie I unabashedly love.
I was unabashedly a Misfits fan. Their songs WERE better and their fashions and hair were better.
I just watched Josie and the Pussycats (for maybe the 3rd or 4th time) a month or so ago. Still holds up!
I will talk about Josie and the Pussycats all day everyday.
Literally everyone in that movie just looks like they’re having the best time.
It’s funny though, because I legit thought that Juliette Lewis in the Jem trailer was Parker Posey.
virtual cave exploration is my new fav hobby
seriously, the Salton Sea is composed of decline and decay. it is like a great big stinky puppydog of stulted development, rolling around for joy in a pile of otherworldly falling apartness.
i mean, the beach around the lake is mostly made out of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BLEACHED BONES that crunch under you feet, dotted here and there with the mummified corpses of fish. And the occasional bits of dead bird. The water is pungent, maybe even redolent, with death, and there are abandoned ramshackle buildings everywhere.
so, 15 years from now, the lake will be on fire?
that said, the lake reflects all kinds of beautiful colors and it’s a great place to take a camera.
but it’s not, a, it’s not just starting to die now, The Gaurdian
EEK my friends and I tried to do a ghost town road trip a few years ago and went there and it was just… an actually dying town? It was so creepy and weird! I feel like we saw people peeping out their windows at us interlopers but that may have just been a nightmare I had; hard to tell.
So basically, the Salton Sea will slowly morph into Fury Road.
brb building dieselpunk outpost
WEE KITTEN
THAT IS ALL
MOAR KITTEN.
The world can always do with MOAR KITTEN.
HANNNNNIBBBBBAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Not saying anything and I’ve avoided any trailer that features anyone besides Mads & Gillian in it. Just happy it’s finally the day.
OMG so excited. It is a good time for TV.
OMG I feel like I have the same couch as Mallory. This is a Big Moment.
GUYS. Guys we have to talk about this: http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2015/06/03/how-marwen… which involves matchstick Army men, brain damage, and someone doing a 180 on Caitlyn Jenner. It’s AMAZING.
Did he really do a 180, though? I didn’t read his follow-up that way.
(I also don’t like how his use of “ironic” implies that Caitlin Jenner is a cross-dresser like Mark Hogancamp, but I guess that would be expecting too much.)
Also I loved Marwencol but I showed it to some students last year who found it extraordinarily disturbing, and I never did quite pin down why.
wow, I have no idea how to read that follow-up. Maybe he did a 90 or so? I mean, cool that he didn’t dismiss the true story or double down on the original hate, but I’m not THAT excited about this dude’s little baby step towards kindness. The whole story, though, is super interesting, especially since I never heard of Marwencol before.
It is both fascinating and streaming on Netflix, in a winning combination!
Yes, more people would ride transit if it were that fast and comfortable.
He looks so soft!!!
I too am still upset about A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila!! So many of the women were so, so great and she seemed to really, really connect with them. It just made me so sad.
Dani (the firefighter/runner-up of Season 1) is the first woman I’ve ever really looked at and wondered about my sexuality. I fall pretty far to the side of heterosexual on the Kinsey scale, but boy oh boy… she was beautiful and warm and funny and I just do not understand how Tila picked Bobby instead. Boy did I love that show… and all MTV/VH1 reality dating shows… I miss them way more than I should.
– The top pic is all “yo dawg I heard you like cows”
– That Sheryl Sandberg thing, yeah. “kick the shit out of option B” is a surprisingly big chunk of my life.
– The link to “ripped moms” didn’t work for me, but Google obliged with various things, including this inspirational story, and… this very different thing [TW: child abuse, scrotum injury].
– That cave is one of the reasons why I haven’t exercised this option. Yet.
– Instead of more depressing pictures of California’s drought, I proffer young Lithuanian men weeping because their government reinstituted the draft.
– I worked for FedEx at the superhub in Memphis for a few months on the sorting line, and live cargo fascinated me–bugs and lobsters from Maine. One of the things that used to amaze me is how many packages broke open in the process of moving from one plane to another; when bags of chocolate chips and yellow mustard burst and mix together and get smeared the length of a block-long conveyor belt, the smell is pretty rank. I used to sort of hope that a box of bugs would break.
Thoroughly expected to see this on the Link Roundup: In the last month, I have sat on 12 men.