but also this is surprisingly handy to have articulated.
betsymore+44
YESSSSSSSS
To which I learned this morning that I can add: AM I GOING TO HAVE THE CORRECT OR INCORRECT KIND OF BABY SHOWER.
ETA: The answer is INCORRECT, it will be INCORRECT to at least 20% of the guest list.
Prawns+16
If you are at all insecure about your baby shower, rest assured that your vaccine-avoidant new-mother friends will whisk you away to the Hamptons for a baby-moon so you can avoid your old friends! D:
gloriana232+49
Shit, well, of course it looks dumb when it’s all in a list.
…………..
gloriana232+38
TOE HAIR
Anna+143
not gonna lie, the “do you have the look of someone who is loved” one made me look away from my computer monitor and stare blankly at the wall for a good 15 seconds
Rebecca+6
Me too! We had an end-of-semester slide show for my study abroad program yesterday, and I realized that I was assessing every picture of me based on the criteria “do I look like a person whom one could hypothetically love?” I still don’t know, though: what exactly does such a person look like? How can you tell?!?!
Eris+48
That was surprisingly comprehensive. In a strange way, it actually made me feel better about myself, because now and then I’d read one and think, “no, I’m pretty ok with that”, so thanks?
GreenGrasses+18
Every morning that my partner doesn’t leave me is a goddamn miracle. I look so bad when I sleep that I don’t know how he handles it.
PaigePoo+33
My husband took a picture of me and the dog sleeping and SHOWED IT TO HIS FRIENDS. because “the dog looked cute.”
Passing_Strange+42
You forgot kissing technique, which that article from yesterday’s link roundup reminded me to feel insecure about, even though the article was not aimed at me, nor do I do any of the things outlined in it (I think).
Laura+64
My mind immediately started separating these into “Yeah, I am insecure about that”; “No, I’ve got that one on lockdown”; and the worst category of all, “Oh, crap, that’s an insecurity I’m supposed to have?” Meta-insecurity.
betsymore+22
I was in college when my roommate confessed to me that she felt bad about having such a short neck. I was like, WHAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE. At which point I became insecure about having a short neck, too. Oh, brains. And patriarchy.
sfbeee+7
“oh, brains. and patriarchy” sums us so damn much
firstmute+24
In college once a friend looked at me and said, “You have a really high hairline. Are you going bald?”
I had never once to that day thought about my hairline, and I have not stopped thinking about it since.
cosetthetable+56
Flexibility (literal) Flexibility (figurative)
Bothari+20
Neck girth? Neck girth is a thing I’m supposed to be fretting about? It is so weird being a human.
Angry Panda+7
I’ve had a couple of people comment on my neck girth! Most recently my hair dresser, which means I get to hear and think about my ridiculously tiny neck every six weeks or so when I get a haircut.
Bothari+19
Oh, man, hair dressers are SO GOOD at pushing those weird little buttons. I once had one tell me musingly, totally unasked, “You know, sometimes I like strong brows on a woman.” Ummmm….thanks?
I’m sure your neck is lovely! Don’t let them push those buttons!
Beakses+6
I had my primary care doctor tell me I had a very muscular neck once. So I don’t know about fretting, but apparently some people out there notice? Granted, she was doing the whole lymph node check deal at the time, so neck analysis was at least agenda-adjacent.
Jessargh+17
Well, I just noticed that my left thumb is significantly fatter than my right thumb. So you missed one.
paddlepickle+27
My right thumb is SHORTER than my left thumb. Also I don’t have ankles. Like, I don’t think they’re cankles? It’s just a lack of ankle. My foot just starts at the bottom of my legs.
Natalie+6
The fingernail beds on my left hand are smaller than the ones on my right hand (yet the fingers on my left hand are the same size as the fingers on my right??) and this torments me to no end.
blunderbusst+3
YOU MADE ME LOOK AT MY THUMBS
Megan+32
CROTCH POODLE! Is that a new term or am I just new to hearing it?? Either way – THANK YOU for bringing it into my life!!
Just_a_Dinosaur+13
Please, someone tell me what this means. I tried the internet and things got weird.
I’m assuming it’s meant to be pubic hair. That’s how I interpreted it and how I will be using it in the feature because it’s GOLDEN
Jessargh+7
golden crotch poodle?
lesliejroot+29
Crotch goldendoodle?
Lethologica+45
Ability to remember your childhood
Slight twinges that will definitely become crippling disabilities later in life
Literary taste
lesliejroot+18
Ability to remember your childhood+++++++++
How do other people have these incredibly specific memories?? Is there something wrong with me???
saffiedarling+2
The brain is a weird thing. I suspect most of my have been backfilled from my parent’s stories. But I will swear till I’m blind that I can remember them.
Passing_Strange+6
There are huge parts of my life that are just a grey blur for me. Is this normal?
Lethologica+2
I swear I would not know anything about my childhood if I didn’t have an older sister to tell me about all the things I did. I don’t *think* she could have fabricated it all…
Goomaly+24
My crotch poodle’s bark is worse than her… wait…
kilks401+15
ugh environmental impact
not making art/ making bad art
aquamarinaveen+39
ability to orgasm *sob* i *know*, in my brain, that this is a stupid thing to be insecure about. and yet.
builtahouse+22
Me, while reading the whole article: oh GOD
(“are you cute while sleeping” killed me, until I got to “do you have the look of someone who is loved” and I would like you to put my afternoon back together please, you ought to find the shards of it around the floor.)
laughterinbetween+44
How I walk. Seriously. Sometimes I get so insecure about how I walk that I end up walking like a weirdo.
builtahouse+55
once I thought about this too much, that someone literally asked me, while I stumbled about “are you okay?” and I had to just smile and say, “nope i’m fine, thanks” instead of “no, I thought about walking too much and then it stopped working.”
Jessargh+12
I’ve had a lot of people comment on the way I walk & it always throws me off & suddenly I start thinking about how to walk. Inevitable walking failure. This is not a thing I should have to think about!
Every once in awhile someone sees me walking and asks me what I did to injure myself. I have no idea what it is, but something about my walk sometimes makes people think I’m injured? Whenever I look at myself in reflective buildings it looks normal to me, but this has been happening to me for over a decade.
This also makes me really insecure about asking people about their injuries.
Elise+29
Are You Good At Holding Babies
Grace+9
BUT DO I OWN WHO I AM THOUGH
Also you forgot ‘how far apart are your eyes’, like, I’m pretty sure my eyes are abnormally far apart.
Rio+5
Replaceability Being worthy of love
capepondpony
I know! It's as if the word wrinkles COULD NOT EVEN BE WRITTEN. !!??
The Elitist Semicolon
BRB DYING
sonata+6
Finally a checklist for ruminating before falling asleep!
YUP. Pretty much covers it all.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
but also this is surprisingly handy to have articulated.
YESSSSSSSS
To which I learned this morning that I can add: AM I GOING TO HAVE THE CORRECT OR INCORRECT KIND OF BABY SHOWER.
ETA: The answer is INCORRECT, it will be INCORRECT to at least 20% of the guest list.
If you are at all insecure about your baby shower, rest assured that your vaccine-avoidant new-mother friends will whisk you away to the Hamptons for a baby-moon so you can avoid your old friends!
D:
Shit, well, of course it looks dumb when it’s all in a list.
…………..
TOE HAIR
not gonna lie, the “do you have the look of someone who is loved” one made me look away from my computer monitor and stare blankly at the wall for a good 15 seconds
Me too! We had an end-of-semester slide show for my study abroad program yesterday, and I realized that I was assessing every picture of me based on the criteria “do I look like a person whom one could hypothetically love?” I still don’t know, though: what exactly does such a person look like? How can you tell?!?!
That was surprisingly comprehensive. In a strange way, it actually made me feel better about myself, because now and then I’d read one and think, “no, I’m pretty ok with that”, so thanks?
Every morning that my partner doesn’t leave me is a goddamn miracle. I look so bad when I sleep that I don’t know how he handles it.
My husband took a picture of me and the dog sleeping and SHOWED IT TO HIS FRIENDS. because “the dog looked cute.”
You forgot kissing technique, which that article from yesterday’s link roundup reminded me to feel insecure about, even though the article was not aimed at me, nor do I do any of the things outlined in it (I think).
My mind immediately started separating these into “Yeah, I am insecure about that”; “No, I’ve got that one on lockdown”; and the worst category of all, “Oh, crap, that’s an insecurity I’m supposed to have?” Meta-insecurity.
I was in college when my roommate confessed to me that she felt bad about having such a short neck. I was like, WHAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE. At which point I became insecure about having a short neck, too. Oh, brains. And patriarchy.
“oh, brains. and patriarchy” sums us so damn much
In college once a friend looked at me and said, “You have a really high hairline. Are you going bald?”
I had never once to that day thought about my hairline, and I have not stopped thinking about it since.
Flexibility (literal)
Flexibility (figurative)
Neck girth? Neck girth is a thing I’m supposed to be fretting about? It is so weird being a human.
I’ve had a couple of people comment on my neck girth! Most recently my hair dresser, which means I get to hear and think about my ridiculously tiny neck every six weeks or so when I get a haircut.
Oh, man, hair dressers are SO GOOD at pushing those weird little buttons. I once had one tell me musingly, totally unasked, “You know, sometimes I like strong brows on a woman.” Ummmm….thanks?
I’m sure your neck is lovely! Don’t let them push those buttons!
I had my primary care doctor tell me I had a very muscular neck once. So I don’t know about fretting, but apparently some people out there notice? Granted, she was doing the whole lymph node check deal at the time, so neck analysis was at least agenda-adjacent.
Well, I just noticed that my left thumb is significantly fatter than my right thumb. So you missed one.
My right thumb is SHORTER than my left thumb. Also I don’t have ankles. Like, I don’t think they’re cankles? It’s just a lack of ankle. My foot just starts at the bottom of my legs.
The fingernail beds on my left hand are smaller than the ones on my right hand (yet the fingers on my left hand are the same size as the fingers on my right??) and this torments me to no end.
YOU MADE ME LOOK AT MY THUMBS
CROTCH POODLE! Is that a new term or am I just new to hearing it?? Either way – THANK YOU for bringing it into my life!!
Please, someone tell me what this means. I tried the internet and things got weird.
Did you find this story, too?
BRB DYING
I’m assuming it’s meant to be pubic hair. That’s how I interpreted it and how I will be using it in the feature because it’s GOLDEN
golden crotch poodle?
Crotch goldendoodle?
Ability to remember your childhood
Slight twinges that will definitely become crippling disabilities later in life
Literary taste
Ability to remember your childhood+++++++++
How do other people have these incredibly specific memories?? Is there something wrong with me???
The brain is a weird thing. I suspect most of my have been backfilled from my parent’s stories. But I will swear till I’m blind that I can remember them.
There are huge parts of my life that are just a grey blur for me. Is this normal?
I swear I would not know anything about my childhood if I didn’t have an older sister to tell me about all the things I did. I don’t *think* she could have fabricated it all…
My crotch poodle’s bark is worse than her… wait…
ugh environmental impact
not making art/ making bad art
ability to orgasm
*sob*
i *know*, in my brain, that this is a stupid thing to be insecure about. and yet.
Me, while reading the whole article: oh GOD
(“are you cute while sleeping” killed me, until I got to “do you have the look of someone who is loved” and I would like you to put my afternoon back together please, you ought to find the shards of it around the floor.)
How I walk. Seriously. Sometimes I get so insecure about how I walk that I end up walking like a weirdo.
once I thought about this too much, that someone literally asked me, while I stumbled about “are you okay?” and I had to just smile and say, “nope i’m fine, thanks” instead of “no, I thought about walking too much and then it stopped working.”
I’ve had a lot of people comment on the way I walk & it always throws me off & suddenly I start thinking about how to walk. Inevitable walking failure.
This is not a thing I should have to think about!
Jamie Dornan shares your pain! (Adorably). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqUuTLh6pHk
Every once in awhile someone sees me walking and asks me what I did to injure myself. I have no idea what it is, but something about my walk sometimes makes people think I’m injured? Whenever I look at myself in reflective buildings it looks normal to me, but this has been happening to me for over a decade.
This also makes me really insecure about asking people about their injuries.
Are You Good At Holding Babies
BUT DO I OWN WHO I AM THOUGH
Also you forgot ‘how far apart are your eyes’, like, I’m pretty sure my eyes are abnormally far apart.
Replaceability
Being worthy of love
I know! It's as if the word wrinkles COULD NOT EVEN BE WRITTEN. !!??
BRB DYING
Finally a checklist for ruminating before falling asleep!
Posture.
Posture.