“Red Pill, Blue Pill”: A Tale For MRA Children -The Toast

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One pill, two pill
Red pill, blue pill


Take the red pill
Unlock free will

This one opens up your mind
This one leaves the lies behind
Say! What a lot of truth to find

Yes some are red, and some are blue
The red will show you something new
If gender roles were flipped, do you
Think that’d be fair?
Now do you?

Females can be sad or glad
But females are all very bad
Why are they all sad, glad, bad?
Human nature. Ask your dad.

Some are thin
And some are fat
Neg them all
They asked for that


And illogical
Don’t blame me
It’s biological

There are some
Who’ll try to claim
That men and women
Are the same

They are wrong
So tell them so
Red pill red pill
Go! Go! Go!

Why are they like that?
I can’t say
Maybe they got
Their period that day

The beta males
Are almost worse
Spot them toting
A feminist’s purse

Look at these guys!
Falling for tricks
It’s almost like
They hate their dicks


They’re in the friendzone!
What a pity
Stuck in the orbit
Of a girl that’s pretty

One, two, three, four
Five and six
Play the game
And you’ll get chicks

Display your value!
Don’t be shy
Find some ways to show it’s high

Less is more
So shut your trap
To fuck the females
And avoid the fap

The choice is yours
Don’t be naive
Just think of what you can achieve


Take the red pill
Don’t be scared
Your mind is finally unimpaired

Jaya Saxena is a New Yorker who writes for lots of things. The Toast, Uncommon Courtesy, and New Amsterdam Mystery Company are some of them. Follow her on Twitter @jayasax. Matt Lubchansky makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York. His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company. He's on Twitter, and doesn't expect you to get his name right.

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